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Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:40 pm
Posts: 1035
PROFILESKrissy "Gentlemanly Gavin" GavinKrissy is the self-proclaimed leader of the chart topping, show stopping pop group known as 'The Spice Gavins'.
Charismatic, cool, level-headed and armed with a huge rack, stepping over all the bigwigs in the music industry was an easy ride for this classy lady.
Almost always smiling for the cameras, Krissy takes great pride in her public image, and would do absolutely anything to maintain her 'gentlemanly' title. Underneath the layers, she's really quite the bitch and throws horrendous hissy fits when things don't go her way. Of COURSE she's not menstrual.
'I still have the scars to prove it.' -
Mr. DarzieKrissy is a purebred manipulator, and often uses her feminine wiles to get what she wants, when she wants, even on her fellow Gavins. Her long time slave and ground-kisser is undoubtedly Polly, of whom Krissy insults and bullies on a daily basis.
'No, don't get a boobjob. We need someone with a flat chest to make the rest of us look even better.' -
Krissy GavinKrissy likes tight clothes that are stretched over the hips, having tantrums, ridiculously expensive jewellery, and stealing her little sister's guitar for lulz.
She hates any clothing that isn't revealing, french food, Polly's constant badgering, and anyone who has the last name 'Gavin' that isn't part of the group. She'll sue you for copyright infringement, you disgusting thieves.
- Krissy is constantly looking for another victim to rest her melons on.
- She can't keep still whilst her hair is being done. This has caused Miss Mo to have several emotional breakdowns in the past.
- Krissy never wears trousers.
- KRISSY IS NOT A MAN.
- Krissy's scream clocks in at OVER 9000 decibels.
- Once upon a time, Krissy lived in a faraway magical land called Germany. For some reason or another, she doesn't have a german accent.
- Krissy can give you aids in five different languages.
- Krissy secretly sniffs nail polish when she's stressed.
- She thinks the world is flat. She hopes one day she'll have the chance to push Mr. Darzie off the edge.
'Aha! But if she does, who's she gonna flop her tits on, huh?!' -
Mr. Darzie'It's Krissy, Bitch.' ~
Krissy Gavin~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Klavia "Rock'n Gavin" GavinKlavia is the omgoosh popular in the Spice Gavins. She's very attention seeking, choosing
to shove weaker members out of the publicity photos so that the paparazzi can see her
knickers provided she's wearing any. She's the best singer in the group, and was nominated
by Miss Mo to be the lead singer and would have been had her older sister not shoved her
ample rack into Mr. Darzie's face. Klavia enjoys flinging random German words into her
speech, which has influenced countless songs. Her hobbies include air guitaring in a genre
that is composed of nothing but SUPER FUCKING HAPPY DANCE BEATS, gossiping with her BFF
Dianne and shitting on the floor after one too many.
'Seriously! I walked into the tourbus one day and it was a fucking pig sty! I ruined my good
kicks cause I stood in that stupid tramp's shit!' -
Krissy GavinKlavia's punky style was created when she asked Miss Mo to design something "trampy but ROCK'N".
Miss Mo had to improvise by stealing the fishnet stockings Mr. Darzie kept in his drawer at
all times and Polly's felt tip pens. The result was lulz.
'With lube, I can do anything.' -
Miss Mo-Klavia met her best friend Dianne back in high school. They had been fighting over a pretty
boy, and when said pretty boy stepped in to stop the conflict, he was killed by Dianne's
huge
penis pompadour. To this day, they haven't had a day apart.
'There was the one time that they glued themselves together because they didn't want to
do a scene together. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!' -
Ronda deLite- Klavia got her punky collar by beating up Ozzy Osbourne's dog. Well, one of them. He spent
three hours attempting to slur out "what the fuck are you doing?"
- Klavia is deathly afraid of mushrooms. She started screaming when she opened Mr. Darzie's drawer.
'They're purely for medicinal purposes, I swear.' -
Mr. Darzie'Pshaw, you're so stretched over das huft mein Fraulein.' ~
Klavia Gavin~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Polly "Burning Gavin" JusticePolly's your average doormat, who let's people walk all over her on a regular basis. But that's
ok. They don't mean it, right? She's a very weak willed lady, bowing to peer pressure on
several occasions, including eating a whole tub of ice cream which her body swiftly rejected
because her clothes are so stretched over the hips. She enjoys having her money smoked in front
her, crying and burying her face in Krissy's ample bust. She hopes that one day, she can tear
off Krissy's breasts and solder them onto herself (due to the large amounts of silicon in
aforementioned tits) but won't do anything about it, fearing her spine snapping under the
weight. Polly is a very delicate flower thingy who likes to spend hours talking to Miss Mo
about her extensive list of problems. She really feels she's making progress even if this
isn't the case (see Miss Mo's profile).
- Polly has an unnatural addiction to baby milk. This has resulted in her randomly pulling
at Krissy's breasts and sucking her nipple, leading to numerous fanwanks and tabloid stories.
- Her nicknames include "Titless", "Golf Ball", "Ironboard" and "That thing".
'But when you hug her, she's closer to your heart. <3' -
Ronda de Lite'I quite enjoy poking fun at her lack of breasts. It's all very lulz." -
Mr. Darzie- Polly is extremely attracted to Dianne's hair, and is the only one allow touch it without
permission. She's had to get three stitches from head wounds and has gotten lost in it
numerous times.
- Polly is very sensitive about her hair. She puts socks on each of the antenanne when going
out in the cold because she doesn't want to them to catch the flu. She's watched far too
many Disney films for her own good.
'Beauty and the Beast was shite anyway.' -
Klavia Gavin- Polly likes the way cotton feels on her nipples.
- Polly sneaks into Krissy's palatial room once she's fallen asleep and lays next to her.
She often wakes up stuck in Krissy's cleavage.
- Polly's sexual preference is breasts.
'So this one time, at this sale...' ~
Polly Justice~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dianne "Go Go Gavin" PenizairDianne is the
penis ...
shark ... pompadour haired 'Go Go Gavin' of the group.
She seems to be quite aloof and moody at first glance (spawning the legions of swooning female fans she has attained- it's obviously got nothing to do with her hair, honest), but she's actually quick to wind up and gets her panties in a twist far too easily.
Dianne is a huge fan of the 60s and 70s and thus is almost always wearing something PVC and brightly coloured, combined with a pair of GoGo boots. Said boots are around 7 inches high and often find themselves swinging up at someone's groinal region. Many have learned the hard way that you shouldn't irritate Dianne unless you're wearing metal pants.
'She even kicks girls... There was this one time, at this sale... *Babbles on for 10 minutes*' -
Polly Justice'POLLY YOU LITTLE BITCH I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!11!!'-
Krissy GavinDianne likes having her hair done, laughing obnoxiously, swimming in her underwear, not wearing any underwear, and gossiping with her BFF Klavia.
She hates being the constant victim of penis hair jokes, when anyone touches the aforementioned hair without permission, and you.
Her hobbies include flicking rubber bands at Krissy's head, laughing at you because you're ugly, and telling people to 'str
oooooooooke it'.
- Dianne's hair is not a penis.
- Dianne has a slightly worrying obsession with Miss Mo. Apparently, the 'way she touches the hair feels good'.
' ಠ_ಠ' -
Miss Mo- She often plays MMORPGS with Klavia and fails at it miserably. In response, she starts strangling the nearest living thing with the mouse cord.
- Her excuse for everything is 'IDK MY BFF KLAVIA?!'
- Dianne refuses to eat fish. She calls it 'cannibalism'.
- Dianne wants you to str
ooooooooke it.
- She's a lean, mean, fat reducing grilling machine. You should see her on the treadmill.
- Her real name is Ariel.
- Her hair really isn't a penis, we swear.
'Str
ooooooke it~ ... Ho.' ~
Dianne Penizair~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ronda "Cinnamon Gavin" DeLiteRonda DeLite is 'the-one-nobody-notices'. She's always in the back of each photo, her voice gets drowned out in the chorus of the songs, and she generally has to make great bids for attention.
Her screams of 'DON'T IGNORE MEEEEEEEEEEEE' have been burnt forever into the other Gavin's eardrums, and they now have a sixth sense as to when Ronda is about to let rip one of her skull shattering shrieks. Thus, a sock is always on hand to stuff into the Cinnamon
Spice's Gavin's mouth.
Ronda used to be an opera singer, until one fateful day, she made the Queen's head explode by hitting a particularly difficult high note. On the run, Ronda was 'rescued' by Miss Mo, who found her wailing on a fence next to her cat Bob.
'I've never heard anything like it since. Thank God.' -
Miss Mo Mr. Darzie still doesn't even seem to know Ronda is part of the group. Nobody knows anything about Ronda's past, as her parents didn't realise she had been born and didn't register her birth accordingly. Technically, she doesn't exist.
(Mrs DeLite was admitted to a mental hospital after waiting for the birth of her first child for 10 years.)
Ronda enjoys screaming at random, being noticed, drinking down gallons of ice tea and watching the first Star Wars trilogy repeatedly.
She hates BEING IGNOOOOOORED, savoury foods, and those dicks down at the hairdressing salon that forgot she was there and left her under the dryer for three days.
'AND THAT'S HOW I GOT THE LEIA DO.' -
Ronda DeLite- Ronda has a husband called Desmond who she met when he ran her over with his motorcycle. He claims that he never saw her screaming in the middle of the road.
- Ronda is a hardcore buddhist.
- Ronda makes the best spy on the history of ever.
'You should see the pantie shots she can get!' -
Mr. Darzie- She once tried to become a flashy thief in order to be noticed. As soon as she put on the Mask, the police shot her.
- Her father was the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter.
- Ronda is a kleptomaniac and often steals the other group members clothes in order for attention. Of course, nobody notices.
'DON'T IGNORE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!' ~
Ronda DeLite~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Miss MoMiss Mo is 'The Spice Gavins' personal stylist and takes care of clothing, make up and hair, because Mr Darzie is too much of an ass to hire anyone else to help out.
Despite her youth, she is the motherly figure and the Gavins (Especially Polly) often come to her to bitch about their problems. She always listens intently without saying a word, most likely because she falls asleep the instant they open their mouths.
'She's sooooo nice, omg.' -
Polly JusticeMiss Mo has an obsession with anything she classifies as 'cute', particularly Big Daddies from the game Bioshock. She often has an undying urge to hug anything and everything in sight, usually attaching to people taller than her in order to sneakily gain a piggyback.
Her perpetual tiredness means that she often falls asleep at inappropriate times and places, usually whilst standing up. This is also rumored to give her hallucinations, as she seems to think everyone is a 'duck'.
'WAKE THE FUCK UP!' -
Mr. DarzieHer health is also extremely poor, due to her nack of being able to catch every disease in existance at the same time. She is living proof that someone up there has an outrageous sense of humor.
She loves eating sweet snacks, chillin', wandering around in her panties and a t-shirt, having a good lol, and drawing every single second of every minute of every hour of every day of every....
She hates
the Spice Gavins mary-sues, wearing shoes and
Mr. Darzie unnecessary giggling.
- Miss Mo is constantly changing her clothes and hairstyle twice daily like a true fashionista. Or someone who just can't make their mind up.
- She thinks Mr. Darzie likes it in the butt.
'What what in the butt?' -
Mr. Darzie- She has a cat called Bob. You all know him as Larry Butz.
- Rumors say that she is currently having an illicit affair with Dianne's hair. This has not yet been proven.
- Miss Mo has recently learned that closing her blinds does not stop Mr. Darzie spying on her. She just now goes with the flow and puts on ear muffs to block out the singing.
- She was a bushbaby in a past life.
- Miss Mo gets burnt by acidic rain, she's that frigging delicate.
- SHE'S STILL COMING
- She is part of a terrifying (RUMORED) OT3.
'I'm so tired, duck... Nyoro~n' ~
Miss MoRoboMo (Or Mobot), Miss Mo's true formWhen Miss Mo spies an injustice or just gets really pissed off, or just because she feels like it, her true form is revealed: ROBOMO. Miss Mo was actually a top secret government weapon created in an underground base beneath Uncle Jeff's sheep farm.
Miss Mo was unfortunately deemed too lazy to be of any use, and was promptly kicked out into Jolly Old England. She went on a magical journey in some faggotland called Oz and became a real-ish girl, before returning to England.
Mr. Darzie discovered her when on one of his infamous pantie raids.
'Listen, I'll give you a job if you don't call the police...' -
Mr. DarzieShe has no ears; but rather strange like transmitters on either side of her head. These are present whether she's in robo-mode or real-ish girl mode. She usually tunes them into jazz radio.
They were a rather unfortunate result of the fag fairy screwing up. (Mr. Darzie had taken her to the fag fairy to turn her into a slightly-more-real-girl.)
- She hides her lazer gun in her panties. Mr. Darzie has sustained multiple burn wounds as a result.
'TRICKED BY WHAT I LOVE?! WHY PANTIES?! WHHHHHHY?!' -
Mr. Darzie- Her arse can be used as a car airbag.
- THERE'S NO OFF SWITCH ON THIS FURBY OH GOD
'Shut up, I'm listening to jazz, duck...' ~
RoboMo~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mr DarzieDarzie's a cracked out slave driver who loves nothing more than to insult and destroy his
"little pets" self confidence. Although he'd never admit it, he really loves the girls deep
down.
'WHEN THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?!" -
Mr. DarzieHe enjoys listening to bad music, smoking Polly's wages in the most literal sense possible
and spying on Miss Mo in her underwear while singing songs of dubious quality and meaning.
He dislikes "boyfriend boxers" and blinds. He still manages to get inside. Lock picks are
fun. When Mr Darzie is sitting down, Krissy often approaches him from behind (WOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
and uses his head to rest her remarkable assets. Mr Darzie doesn't give a toss and quite
enjoys the experience. It saves him from having to pay for another back surgery caused by
Krissy's stupidly large tits. He continously labels Polly as "Titless" (which he'd gotten
from a golf ball) and has often stated that even if she did have breasts, it wouldn't change
a damn thing. Crushing self esteem is another one of his hobbies. He also enjoys long walks
on the beach and taming lions.
'Oh, he's such a lovely man! He does everything for me! I love him thiiiiiiiiiiis much!"
-
Polly Justice- Mr. Darzie first formed the Spice Gavins after he saw Krissy and Dianne fighting over
an outsize bra during the New Year's Sale period. Klavia was nearby loling. He found Polly
who's leg had been caught in a large set of panties.
'I swear to god, I didn't help her because she was caught. I just love panties." -
Mr. Darzie- Mr Darzie has a pantie fetish.
'NO FUCKING WAY' -
Miss MoHe's talked at length with his PR manager, Stickler about their fluffy goodness. He even
sang a song about them while sitting on Miss Mo while wearing her underwear which she was
also wearing.
- Mr Darzie smokes money because 'the chicks dig it'.
- Mr Darzie is the default choice.
- He's so IRISH.
- Mr. Darzie often plays awful music as loud as possible to make Miss Mo's head explode for lulz. He then attempts to put her back together crudely with pritt stick and cellotape.
'Shut the fuck up and make my dinner. I hate these people. >_>' ~
Mr. Darzie.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
MINI PROFILES OH SNAPDesmond DeLite, the RoadieDesmond is rugged manly fun. He enjoys running people over on a motorbike, listening to speed metal, taking speed, and breaking the speed limit. He only notices Ronda when she flashes her tits and/or after he runs her over. They're very happy together.
- He's shite in bed, because instead of getting into her, he sits on her, despite Ronda's wails of "FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
'WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!' -
Ronda DeLite- Desmond often has his hair braided by Ms. Mo. It's not as sexy as he thinks.
- Desmond sometimes likes to smoke money with Mr. Darzie.
'He thinks he's got money to burn, the stupid prick.' -
Mr. Darzie- Desmond loves Ronda very much.
'Who?' -
Desmond DeLite~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Maximillion 'Hillbilly' Galactica, Make-up ArtistMax is the make up artist for the group. He's a self absorbed prat who has a fetish for hiphuggers. He likes poking fun at other's deformities, brunch, and everything pink (Ironically, he dislikes the musician, Pink). It reminds him of the pigs back home.
- He secretly wants to be big hair BFFs with Dianne. Klavia found out, unfortunately for Max.
'I kicked him right in the vagina.' -
Klavia Gavin- LIFE IS JUST F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S....
'Tattoos are so last century, girlfriend.' -
Max Galactica... D:
- Max likes designing costumes on the side. He's tried several times to assassinate Miss Mo in order to steal her job.
'I kicked him right in the vagina.' -
Dianne Penizair'Didn't Klavia say that already?" -
Polly Justice'...IDK MY BFF KLAVIA?!' -
Dianne Penizair
Last edited by Doylie-Mo on Thu Jan 17, 2008 6:25 pm, edited 13 times in total.