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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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ace authorney

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uh what

actually im santa wait fuck no what i meant to say is santa is the lord of saving not me...

lol hero
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Can't go to hell. Out of vacation days.

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https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12539687/1 ... ntinuation

he's done it

the absolute madman

Autumnal wrote:
Yeah, the sporks written about crack fics aren't nearly as entertaining to read or write.


That's funny, I actually find the crack fics to be the most entertaining sporks. Probably because of how ridiculous the stories tend to be.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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The imagination justifies the pimp

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DrOcsid wrote:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12539687/1/DAMON-GANT-ESCAPS-FROM-PRISOOOOOOON-the-fan-continuation

he's done it

the absolute madman

Holy hell, I was just about to ask barrylawn about that, thank you!
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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What the heck

Barrylawn babe ily
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

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I have no idea what is even going on in this thread anymore, but I finally finished that sporking of chapter 4 of Taste the Rainbow that I promised! It took even longer than I originally anticipated because other than not going on my computer very often, my niece was born and I got a job! So yeah, ahaha. But I missed sporking a lot and I'm glad I'm back with another one. Since it was this fic, I tried to go back to the more traditional sporking style. Probably not my best work, but I'm glad it's done.

Title- TASTE THE RAINBOW Chapter 4
Rating- :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: It's TASTE THE RAINBOW, everybody. Do I even need to explain more?
Now, let's meet our enthusiastic sporkers!
Phoenix Wright!
:nick-sweat: "I'll never be enthusiastic to come here…"
Larry Butz!
:larry2: "How can you say that, Nick? A day off from work! What could be better?"
Maya Fey!
:sad-maya: "B-But Larry, it's…"
and… Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: "Don't tell him, Maya. At least one person here is in a good mood."

Speakers: Goood morning, sporkers! Did you miss me? I haven't run the place in over a whooooole year, and I came back for your favorite fic ever! Isn't this great?

Phoenix: …

Maya: …

Edgeworth: *glares*

Larry: Sure, welcome back! So, what are we reading today?

Edgeworth: Did you not read the script?

Larry: Script? What are ya talking about, Edgey?

Speakers: Ah yeah, for old time's sake, I gave one to everyone. Except Larry.

Phoenix: And why would you do that?

Speakers: Eh, it's more fun that way.

Edgeworth: It doesn't really matter, I suppose. He'll remember once we start reading.

Phoenix: Yeah, I guess you're right. Let's hurry up and get this over with, Larry.

Larry: H-Hey, wait a minute!! W-What do you mean "old time's sake?" It's old time's sake not to give me a script? I don't remember this!

All: …

Larry: W-Why are you all staring at me like that?

Phoenix: *sighs* It's nothing. Let's go sit down, Larry.

[The sporkers all take their seats. Larry's good mood has seemed to have disappeared, and the other sporkers stare at the screen warily, just waiting for the horror to play.]

Speakers: Oh, yeah, one more thing.

Edgeworth: What now?

Speakers: Maya, you've been awfully quiet. I know what you're planning, and it's not going to work. You're going to sit here through the whole thing, no calling your sister to bail you out this time. I've put in place a… special measure. However, it's still in the beta stage, but I believe it'll work.

Maya: B-But, that's not fair!

Speakers: Too bad. Anyway, that's all I had to say. Narrator, roll the fic!

[Yes, sir!]

Spoiler:
Quote:
TASTE THE RAINBOW
By: IkkiNickiey1408


Edgeworth: *puts head in hands* I can't believe this is here again…

Larry: Hey, Nick?

Phoenix: Hm?

Larry: That author has "Nick" in their name, too. Could you be related?

Phoenix: Oh, god, I hope not.

Maya: …Normally, I'd be spouting how this might be a conspiracy, but I'm just not in the mood.

Phoenix: Maya isn't in the mood to make conspiracy theories. That just shows you how bad this is, folks.

Quote:
Chapter 4: the rockies


Maya: Does that mean this chapter takes place on a mountain?

Phoenix: Maybe…?

Edgeworth: I'd hope so. Maybe someone will fall off.

Larry: Geez, Edgey, you don't need to be so, so… so, um…

Edgeworth: Sadistic?

Larry: Y-Yeah! That's not healthy for you, man!

Phoenix: *muttering* You clearly missed the time he was nearly suicidal when reading these things…

Quote:
One of my favorite times of year, winter!
Everything is so soft looking, clean, pretty. The air is crisp, everything is frosted, and cuddling is a must.


Phoenix: Huh, I actually agree. Well, except for the last one, at least.

Maya: Yeah, the trees look really nice with snow on them. And building snowmen with Pearly is always fun!

Phoenix: Hey, I'm the one who does all the work! All you two do is stay inside and drink hot cocoa while watching me!

Maya: I'm watching out for your health! If I didn't make you go outside and make snowmen, you'd turn into one big couch potato, and you know it.

Phoenix: (Says the one who actually hogs the couch…)

Quote:
I don't know anyone who could hate the winter.

"I fucking hate the cold" miles began the bitching being the debby downer he is best at being


Phoenix: Well, we found someone who hates winter. Not that fic-me should be surprised.

Edgeworth: I've always wondered if our pasts are as they're supposed to be in this fic.

Phoenix: Who knows. I don't even think the author cares.

Quote:
"Miles I don't understand why, it's the best time of year! Hot cocoa, lights, Christmas, new years kiss" I said as I leand in for a kiss…


Phoenix: Once again, except for the last one, I agree. Am I actually kind of in-character?

Edgeworth: If you'd remembered correctly, this author has a "talent" of writing you slightly in-character, and then completely out-of-character a few sentences later.

Phoenix: Oh yeah…

Larry: Hey Nick, what do you mean except for the last one? That's the best part of the entire winter! Last year I kissed the adorable Janie on New Year's, and she still has my heart. I swear I won't give it to another!

Phoenix: Yes, just like after Cindy, and Kandice, and Bennifer, and-

Larry: Those girls were completely different! Man, you really don't know anything.

Phoenix & Edgeworth: …

Quote:
" No, its just an excuse. You waste money on people you feel obligated to buy shit for, for no reason. The electric companies love the fact that people feel the need to waste electricity, the ground is slick, hot cocoa prices are increased, and my weiner is always smaller than normal because my suit is too thin for the fucking wind chill!"


All: …

Larry: Ew, Edgey! TMI, I don't want to know that! And there's a lady here, you don't talk like that in front of one!

Edgeworth: …Larry, since when have I ever talked like that?

Larry: Well, you're always complaining! It's not too hard to imagine that you're just coming up with more things to complain about just for the sake of it.

Edgeworth: *Boom* Nngh…! My truth bar!

Phoenix: …Let's just pretend that we didn't read that, OK?

Maya: G-Good idea, Nick…

Quote:
Of course he rejected my kiss and continued to be the fucking Grinch before Christmas….

" Miles, little wennies are nothing to be ashamed of! Phoenix isn't embarrassed of his, Right Wright?" Larry said with his typical over excited annoying voice of his…


Phoenix: …

Maya: Nick, I don't think the fic is going to let us pretend that we didn't read that.

Phoenix: Yes, I realize that now, Maya.

Larry: W-Wait a minute! Why do I know that? And why am I being so formal with Nick all of a sudden?

Edgeworth: It'd be better not to think too hard on that, Larry.

Quote:
Why do I hang out with larry?


Phoenix: Good question.

Larry: H-Hey!!

Phoenix: It was a joke, Larry.

Larry: Yeah, suuure, just blame on a joke like always. I'm not falling for that!

Phoenix: (You do the same thing all the time!)

Quote:
" Larry… my dick isn't small…. And even IF it was…WHY WOULD YOU KNOW?" I couldn't be more frustrated with him, who does he think he is talking about my penis like its his property

" And thee yelling begins" Miles begin the attitude and eye roll.


Phoenix: Oh, great. Now Edgeworth is speaking in Bible times, for some reason.

Edgeworth: Not that any of this belongs in a bible. Ever.

Maya: Unless it was a bible on how not to write fan-fics. But, yeah, I agree.

Quote:
He acts like it is my fault that I yell at Larry. Its not! Larry is a dumb ass and needs his mouth closed with a muzzle sometimes.


Larry: Nick, you dog! I'm not dumb! I graduated middle school, y'know!

Phoenix: …If I was anyone else, I would tell you how that just proves my point.

Larry: N-Nick…!

Phoenix: That's why I said if I was anyone else!

Edgeworth: Still, Wright, you didn't exactly help with your blatant implications.

Phoenix: B-But…

Maya: Yeah, Nick. You're such a meanie.

Larry: You're the worst friend ever.

Phoenix: … (What is this? "Gain up on Phoenix" day?)

Quote:
" All im saying is, love eachothr for the motion in the ocean, not the bees between the knees.


Maya: What is the first part of that supposed to mean?

Phoenix: I don't want to know.

Quote:
Miles you shouldn't be a though, you and Phoenix are taking your trip tomorroe which will be relaxing and romantic!"

" Ye and its going to just be you and I (I grab Miles's hand) I also have a surprise for you"


Phoenix: Yeah, like Edgeworth loves surprises. And who says "ye?"

Speakers: I use "ye" all the time. Especially on the internet. It's a fun word, really.

Maya: Hey, I use it on the internet, too! You should really get with the times, Nick!

Phoenix: Ehh… Well, it seems that fic-me is up to date with "the times." Heheh…

Quote:
" yes so fun, being stuck in a cabin surrounded by snow…Lets just finish packing and going ovr the house rules with Larry so we can get a good nights rest please. I want to just get this get away over with" miles expressed his hatred even more..

No surprise there though, Yea I wish he would be more open to the snow, but I think after he sees where we are staying and the adventure I have planned, he will lighten up! He is so focused on work, and after the new year he has to travel to England for shit, I just want to make sure he knows how much I love him and spend as much one on one time as I can.

The rest of the night We both packed and went over and over and over the rules with Larry. I wish he would pay the fuck attention so the house care part would have been 2 minutes not 42 fucking wasted minutes.


Edgeworth: F-Forty-two minutes? No wonder Maya gave Larry some ADHD medication in the last chapter. Although, that is heavily exaggerated of how ADHD actually is…

Phoenix: You still remember that?

Edgeworth: It's coming back to me, regrettably.

Larry: Huh, yeah. That is ringing a bell. But that fic was terrible!

Edgeworth: …It took you that long to figure out that we were reading the continuation!?

Quote:
Im still sure he is going to mess up, that's why I secretly have Maya scheduled an hour after larry is here to make sure the apprtment is in tip top shape.


Phoenix: (Like Maya's going to do that much of a better job…)

Maya: *frowns* I see that look on your face, Nick. Rude.

Quote:
1:27 am…

" Phoenix…are you awake" miles whispers

(Snoring)

"PHOENIX ARE YOU AWAKE!?"

I nearly jumped 10 feet out of bed


Edgeworth: What great use of hyperbole! *slow claps* Bravo.

Maya: …Um, are you feeling OK, Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: *sighs* Look where we are. What do you think?

Maya: But I thought you maybe started liking this place!

Edgeworth: I never liked this place, I just stopped caring.

Speakers: In that case, this sporking theatre will stay open until you all actually enjoy coming here!

Phoenix: Well, then. We're doomed.

Speakers: That's the plan.

Quote:
" GEEZ WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!" my heart now racing has fast as a cat jumping out of the wet

" Can we reschedule this trip until about may? And maybe make it In wine country?" miles twiddled his thumbes as he looked down at the bed

" This is why you woke me up? To puss out of our trip I have been planning since august for us? You sir have some god damn nerves" I adore my sleep. Wy wold he think its ok to wake me from my fucking slumbeer


Phoenix: That's what fic-me is mad about? Getting woken up from his "slumbeer?" Not that, y'know, he wants to cancel our trip?

Larry: And, Edgey, dude… Why would you want to go to the wine country? That stuff's boring! It's all like, "Now place the glass below your nose and inhale… Like so. If you pay close attention you'll notice that the wine is very accessible. With notes of raspberry… And all just the faintest hint of cardamom." What a bore!

All: …

Larry: W-What? Why are you all so quiet?

Phoenix: Um, Larry. That all seemed very… specific. Have you ever been to one of those before?

Larry: …I knocked over a whole shelf of wine. I don't want to talk about it.

Edgeworth and Phoenix: (Figures…)

[After Edgeworth attempts to sell his tickets to someone else, Phoenix reminisces about Edgeworth flying on a plane and worrying if he ever was going to come back.]

Quote:
I lost him once and I wasn't about to have my heart broken again. No one needs to relive the court room incident….

(FLASH BACK)

"OK well umm….ummm. are we all ready to start?" Judge asked

"Yes judge, I am." Miles replied calmly

God every word they said sounded like they were yelling in my ear.

"Umm yeah sir, we need this show to roll on and stuff." It was hard to talk


Edgeworth: These are some of the most unprofessional courtroom proceedings I've ever seen. "Yes judge?"

Maya: Would you like me to fix it? I'm sure I can do a much better job!

Phoenix: Yes, I'm sure you can, Maya.

Maya: OK! *ahem* "Court is now in session for the trial of, um, Dee Fendant! Is the defen-"

Phoenix: Wait a minute! Dee Fendant? Couldn't you come up with something more, y'know, original?

Maya: But, puns, Nick! Puns! Don't tell me you've never noticed them before?

Phoenix: Of course I have! It's just that that poor person is doomed to be a defendant…

Edgeworth: I wonder what that makes Deid Mann, then…

Speakers: The management would like to remind Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright, and Miles Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited.

Larry: Man, what are you talking about? All the walls are up!

All except Larry: … *sigh*

Quote:
As Miles presented his case, all I could think was…

"YOU'RE AN ASS HOLE, ASS HOLE, DICK HEAD, WHORE, ASS HOLE, HEART BREAKER, WHORE, ASSHOLE!"I began to yell

"WHY! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME MIIILES HUH?" I couldn't control my emotions

I cut him off and everyone was silenced

"Mr. Wright! Well I never-" The judge snapped


Edgeworth: Yes, most definitely the most unprofessional court proceedings ever. No wonder no one wants to re-live that incident.

Phoenix: I feel bad for fic-Judge. I'm pretty sure the only time I've ever seen him "snap" was at Moe…

Larry: Yeah, no swearing in front of the old man. You gotta be polite, Nick.

Phoenix: I've never sworn at him, believe me.

Quote:
Our flight wasn't that long, felt like it went by really quick, and it was very smooth, no turbulence, thank god! Once we got off the plane and went down to grab our luggage it only took Miles about 3 mminutes to began complaining.

Who is driving? Phoenix cant drive! Do you have to fork out more money for a Taxi? Taxi's are dirty! We all know Phoenix doesn't have the money for a fucking urber! Its cold! My dick is small! Blah blah blah


Edgeworth: Oh, give me a break! I don't complain this much!

Phoenix: Yeah, this is actually going a tad overboard… And also, taxis aren't dirty.

Maya: You're only defending them because they're your only source of transportation when you can't ride your bike or walk.

Phoenix: So? They're still rather clean.

Larry: I can always pick you up if you need it, Nick!

Phoenix: Yeah, um, thanks…

Quote:
I just ignored him as we waked out of the airport, as we stood out on the curb he just kept bitching about the snow, its cold, someone is going to fall, why are we waiting? Why wasn't there a taxi? Who is the big shot who is getting picked up in a limo? Wht a show off

Little did he realize that the limo was for us!

" I am lookin for a MR. Wright…" the limo drive said looking us over


Edgeworth: So if Wright was too cheap to afford uber, he can somehow afford a limo?

Maya: Cool! Nick, why don't you hire a limo for us?

Phoenix: What? Why would I do that? They aren't cheap! Also, hiring a limo for a winter vacation is very tacky.

Maya: Phooey. You're just saying they're tacky as an excuse…

Phoenix: No, just for everyday use and dumb vacations.

Quote:
I looked over at Miles and he just shur up as quick as he could. I greeted the limo driver and he opened the door for us and took care of our luggage. Miles sat inside the limo and just could cloe his jaw, He was in too much shock. Trust me This was hard to pay for but it was worth it

" Is this the surprise? A limo ride?" could miles have said that with anny more disappointment


Phoenix: What, isn't this better than the "dirty" taxi?

Edgeworth: Honestly, don't even pay attention to fic-me. He's aggravating me more than usual today…

Quote:
" It is part of the surpisse, also we have the limo for the whole trip! Champagne?" I was trying to keep a smile on my fce

Miles and I shared the champagne as we drove up into the mountains to our cabin, The drive was so beautiful. The trees were all white, there were twinkeling lights one ever building we passed, it was a small town but had everything needed. As we kept passing all the small cabins, I could tell Miles was a little bit confused. Where were we going? The Cabins are getting bigger which means more expensive? How was all this being paid for? As we approached our stop, Miles was wide eye…

"Your destination MR. Wright" the limo driver said while pulling around the driveway


Phoenix: Why is the limo driver always pronouncing "Mr." like that?

Edgeworth: Does it really matter? For once, I'm sharing an opinion with my horrible counterpart in this story. How is all this getting payed for?

Phoenix: Um, fic-me suddenly became rich?

Larry: Really? Dude, I need money all the time! C'mon, Nick, why don't you help a buddy out?

Phoenix: Did you miss the memo when I said fic-me is rich? I'm not actually rich.

Larry: You've gotta have more money than me! I mean, you're a lawyer! I'm just a crummy-

Maya: Don't worry, Larry. We could always rob a bank like in the fic where Nick had lung cancer!

Phoenix: Don't expect me to defend you.

Quote:
We got out and grabbed our luggage. Our cabin looked like something out of a magazine, big, beautiful, pool, hot tub, Fireplace, open bar, perfect view of the mountains. Couldn't have asked for a better place to be residing in.
We settled into the master bedroom which was covered in rose petals and had wine and candels waiting for us. The master bath was huge, about the size of my apartment alone. As Miles looked around the Cabin, I drew us a bath, added some rose petals in, poured the wine and undressed and jumped into the robe.


Phoenix: Yeah, this is definitely tacky. And did I just pour the wine into the bathtub?

Edgeworth: I hope not. That is rather unsanitary, not to mention a waste of the wine.

Larry: But Nick, I think they meant that you poured the wine into glasses, since there were wine and candles waiting for you…

Phoenix: It doesn't matter what they meant, Larry, but what they say. And they just said that fic-me poured wine into the bathtub.

Quote:
" Oh Miles…Your bath awaits you" How can he resist me, im pretty seductive

" How is this happening? How are you paying this? Are you gay for pay?"


Edgeworth: Um, well, that's one conclusion as to how Wright has the money to pay for this…

Phoenix: NO! Don't even think of that! That's not funny, author! I like my I-suddenly-got-rich idea better!

Maya: Even if you suddenly got rich by robbing a bank?

Phoenix: Yes! Or, um, probably…

Quote:
" NO I AM NOT GAY FOR PAY" can miles just shut his face whoel for one minute and just enjoy the good life

" But you are gay….and now yelling more…" there it is. He is being cocky again

" I AM NOT YEL…Oh wait…OK so I did yell.. Doesn't make me gay for yelling Miles" I rolled my eyes

" Sucking my Dick makes you gay though" He says with a cocky smile…

"Yeah..Your little dick was it?" I giggled

At the moment I got the look of death….

" uhhhhh… I mean you have a preety penis…Miles? Miles? Our bath is ready…"

"….Fuck…You" He glaed


Edgeworth: Yes, fic-you really is as "seductive" as he claimed earlier. Right, Wright?

Phoenix: Hahaha. Very funny, Edgeworth. Fic-me is full of himself if he thinks he's seductive.

Larry: I don't want to read this anymore… All this talk of, um…

Maya: Yaoi?

Larry: Yeah, I don't really like it. Especially if it's this bad.

Phoenix: *pats Larry on the shoulder* Don't worry, we all feel the same way.

Quote:
After begging and pleading my case to miles about how much I love his not so little dick, he eventually got into the steamy tub with me. As I laid back into his chest, looking out the window in out bathroom, the sky was so clear and full of stars, all I could think about was how much I loved Miles and this weekend had to be perfect. We sipped our wine, massaged eachother in the tub, talked about work, talked about memories, and our future. I wanted to stop time, wanted to stay in this moment longer.


Maya: So, is the author trying to make this "romantic," now?

Phoenix: It's not very romantic if you picture that the two of us are sipping from the wine-filled tub that we are sitting in…

Larry: Eww! Did you have to remind us of that?

Speakers: Yes, because that's the rule of sporking. One grat point for you, Phoenix.

Phoenix: Grat…? Oh! We're still doing those?

Speakers: Not really, but I just feel like congratulating you.

Phoenix: Oh. Thanks…

Quote:
1:07 am…

" Oh god Miles we have to go to bed, I have the day planned out for us tomorrow"

" Why is it we can never do anything without you have a set plan about what we are doing?"


Maya: Huh, I always thought Mr. Edgeworth was a J and Nick was a P…

Phoenix and Larry: Um, what?

Edgeworth: I believe she's talking about the Meyers-Briggs personality types.

Maya: Uh-huh! The J kinda means that they like following through set plans while the P sorta means that they're a bit more… spontaneous!

Phoenix: Oh. Then, yeah, Edgeworth would definitely be a J. Or at least the real Edgeworth, I'm not too sure about fic-him.

Larry: So… the author got you two switched?

Edgeworth: No. The author has never been consistent with their characterization to begin with.

Quote:
" Miles you know that is ot true, If anything you are the one who overly plans everything…."


Edgeworth: See what I mean? Even the author admits it.

Phoenix: Oh, no! Now fic-me is becoming aware! Soon he's going to figure out that he's a really bad fictional version of me and be confused about his life!

Edgeworth: No, because that'd be interesting.

Phoenix: Oh yeah, you're right. It's too good to be true, then…

Quote:
Always has to argure with me doesn't he? Like a typical women

We didn't get anywhere with that argument, both being lawyers and all, we had enough evience to prove we are both typical gays who like to go above and beyond with pointless shit. And yes this trip I have over planned but ita all for a reason, and if everything isn't perfect, then its not worth it all.


All: …

Edgeworth: This fic wasn't worth the amount of time the author spent on it.

All else: Agreed.

Quote:
9:12 am….

" Good morning Mr. Edgeworth, I hope you like breakfast in bed"
I leaned in and gave him a kiss as he was waking from his slumber

Miles slowly was waking up, looked at me, looked outside, looked at his breakfast…but no real reaction…I was really confused. I brought mimosas, French toast with fresh barriers, bacon, and eggs sunny side up.


Phoenix: That actually sounds pretty good. I wouldn't mind a breakfast like that. Except that I'd prefer berries over "barriers" on my French toast.

Maya: *pokes Phoenix* Nick…?

Phoenix: No. Don't even dream of it, Maya. And don't give me those eyes, either.

Maya: But I want breakfast in bed!

Phoenix: Nope.

Larry: I'd make you breakfast in bed anytime you want, Maya!

Maya: See? Larry's nice, unlike you.

Quote:
" How did you sleep?"

(No response)

" Is everything ok? Do you not like your breakfast?" I continues

Im getting nervous waiting for him to say something other than just staring at the food with a blank stare…I cant start the day off like this…this is according to plan…

" Miles…I don't know what is going on in that head of yours…you need to talk to me if something is wrong…" well now this is worrying me, this isn't according to plan

" Phoenix…This is nice…"

What the fuck does that mean? Nice? That's what I get is nice!

"That's it? Nice?" I couldn't be more confused

" Wright, its more than nice, this is amazing..look outside..Fresh powder, look where we are staying…breakfast in bed, but most importantly look who I am with…a wonderful man who thought of all of this for me. I just am speechless…that and I just woke the fuck up and it taks me awhile to come together" he sounded super groggy


Edgeworth: So now fic-me is trying to be sentimental? He's not doing a great job at it…

Maya: Don't be so hard on fic-you, Mr. Edgeworth! He's not doing the worst job, either…

Edgeworth: I suppose not, but that last sentence entirely ruined the moment. As did the sentence where he referred to the snow outside as "white powder." For a second I thought he was talking about the powdered sugar on his French toast.

Phoenix: Um, I actually agree with Maya. Let's just agree that this part wasn't so bad and move on. We still have half of the chapter to get through.

[Phoenix narrates that he plans to take Edgeworth exploring and up to a mountain lodge for the day.]

Quote:
MEAN WHIE BACK AT THE HOUSE

" Man watching the house is so cool! Its awesome that they trust me so much, but I don't think they though this through too much, wha is someone decided to break in at night? Or while im not here to watch the place? No one thinks of that now a days, too much trust, so im gonna do them a favore and stay alllllll dya and night to make sure nothing happens. And at my house I have Dick watching it…I hope he is staying there all day too…what if he isn't…what if I go home and he isn't there? What if someone breaks in at my place? I NEED TO GO CHECK ON MY HOUSE!" Larry ran out as he yelled about his house


Edgeworth: Well, Larry sure gave up on his plan rather quickly.

Phoenix: And since when were he and Detective Gumshoe such close friends that he'd have him check up on his house?

Edgeworth: Also, Larry seems to think that robbers just run amok and attempt to break into every home they can find…

Larry: Hey, I know that's not true! Fic-me is an idiot! I know that house-sitting just means that you keep it clean and water the plants! …I think so?

Phoenix: Yes, that is exactly what it means. Not that you have to move in. (When an author makes even Larry sound unbelievable, you know they've messed up badly…)

Quote:
As Larry runs home, maya comes in and check on the house.

" Ok Peark, I don't think youre supposed to be here with me so please don't touch anything and just sit on the couch and do..nothing… do you understand?" Maya explains while trying ot sound mature

" If I cant do anything then why did you bring me? I don't want to just sit here, that's boring" pearl sounded annoyed


Phoenix: Hey, Pearls has a point. I wouldn't get mad that she went in the house, by the way. But even if I did, you could've just let her play around in the backyard or something…

Edgeworth: If the town is anything like Larry imagines, then there are probably kidnappers hiding in every corner as well.

Maya: But there actually aren't! So, fic-me is just being mean to Pearly for no reason…

Quote:
" BECAUSE AFTER WE ARE GOING TO THE PARK" Maya yells

As myay goes throught the house, room by room pearl bounces her ball in the living room trying to keep her little self entertained.

*CRASH*

" PEARL! What did I tell you? I asked you to sit and do nothing!" maya was screming

" I was just bouncing the ball and Picture frame fell off the wall" pearl just sat and looked at the floor knowing she was in troule

" That's not how it happened! There is a dirt mark on th wall right here!" Maya aways has to know better


Phoenix: What? How did that happen?

Edgeworth: I suppose the narration was supposed to be unreliable. For some reason.

Phoenix: OK, but still. Did she chuck dirt at the wall? Use her shoes to make prints on the wall?

Maya: Pearly would never do that!

Larry: Uhh, so, what actually happened, then?

Edgeworth: …Are you three really that intrigued by this clumsy attempt at mystery?

Phoenix: Um, well…

Quote:
As maya swong her arm to point to the wall she knocked over a book…that hit a vase and broke that too.

" Oh MY GOD! Pearl we need to clean this up and quicj!" maya just making the situation worse

" What am I supposd to do? My mom doesn't let me near broken glass"

" you are so useless…" Maya rolls her eyes


Maya: H-Hey! I would never call Pearly that! Ayam is such a brat!

Phoenix: And Maya's not that clumsy…

Maya: Yeah! …Hey!

Quote:
Maya began to searn the house for a brrom and dust pan.

" GOT THE BROOM" She yells from the other room

As maya came out of the kitchen running, the end of the room hit a shel and it came off the wall, breaking everything on it and leaving a hole in the wall. Maya screamed and tried to fix the shelf but as she did, she cut herself on a piece of boken glass on the floor.


Phoenix: Oh, c'mon this is just ridiculous. This seems like the kind of thing that would happen in a gag comedy.

Larry: At least this time it's not my fault, right? Usually these… fics, always make me do this kind of stuff. Right?

Maya: So, it's better that fic-me made this mess?

Larry: No, don't be silly, Maya! It's just, um…

Edgeworth: A nice change of pace?

Larry: No, dude! Well, maybe…

Quote:
" And this is why I am not allowed to clean up broken glass"
(Maya glared at her)

"But ummm are you ook?" Pearl was feeling awkaward

" Pearl we hve to get out of here, Ill tell phoenic later but I need to go get this looked at, what if I get an infection?" Maya is such a hypocrodiract


Larry: Hippo-what? Is that that thing you learn in science class? Where it repels water or something?

Edgeworth: No, you're thinking of hydrophobic. I'm pretty sure they mean a hypocrite. Although, that is a… creative spelling error.

Phoenix: And I don't think the author knows what a hypocrite really means. Fic-Maya didn't exactly do anything hypocritical…

Maya: *sniff* I don't think the author likes me…

Phoenix: …I don't think you want the author to like you. Look what happened to Edgeworth.

Quote:
7:38 pm…

" Ok ok so I went ot my house and fell asleep, but everything should be fine here, it has only been a few house right? And we live in a realative nice place, so things should be ok." Larry prances up t the house

Larry opens the door and walks straight to the kitchen, disregareding all the the mess on the floor and begins to cook pizza rolls in the microwave. After they are finished, he again walks over all the broken glass and blood on the floor and sits on the couch and begans to eat.

"Its so tyrpical of them to have pizza rolls, I wonder if it's a gay thing? I mean tossed salad is a thing gays like, so maybe it's the same thing as pizza rolls…


Phoenix: …What? What is this even supposed to mean? Can't people just like salad and pizza rolls anymore? Where do you get this stuff?

Larry: I don't know, man! This isn't me!

Edgeworth: This is actually rather… rudely stereotypical. And not something I think Larry would do, in any case.

Larry: Th-Thanks for sticking up for me, Edgey…

Quote:
..something is different in the house…now that im thinking about it…something is off….OH MY GOD SOMEONE BROKE IN! What do I do? What do I do? Who do I call? Who am I gonna call?


Phoenix and Maya: Ghostbusters!

Quote:
Ghostbusters?


All: …

Phoenix: …I- I feel so ashamed…

Maya: Me too…

Edgeworth: *sigh*

Quote:
Do they work with this kids stuff? Im gonna call dick and ask if ghostbusters will help"


Phoenix: Seriously? The Ghostbusters are for ghosts, Larry.

Larry: I know that! Gee Nick, how dumb do you think I am?

Maya: *puts hand on her face, thinking* But y'know, I am a spirit medium, after all. Maybe we actually could blame it on a ghost?

Phoenix: Good luck with that, Maya.

[Gumshoe berates Larry for being an idiot and tells him to touch the blood to make sure it isn't goo.]

All: …

Edgeworth: There's only so much irony you can fit into one sentence…

Quote:
BACK AT THE LODGE

" Phoenix you have really outdone yourself this weekend, Everything has been beyond wonderful, and you have spoiled me so much. Walking through the town with you, and I love my new watch you bought me, its stunning, I am so lucky" miles gazes in my eyes, so much love

The waiter comes by and pours some more wine, we have a beautiful table near the big window looking out to the mountains, and suddenly the sno begins to fall, Miles is in awe with how magical this night seems.


Phoenix: Well, Edgeworth sure changed his mind about this trip quickly.

Edgeworth: Yes, a little too quickly. It almost seems like the author was trying to make me into a tsundere and forgot halfway through writing.

Phoenix: There you go again, throwing in these weird Japanese words that I don't understand.

Larry: Yeah, speak English, Edgey!

Quote:
We enjoy an amazing lobster dinner, and gushed all trough dinner. I love this man, even with all that shit that has happened between us in the past, being a dick in court, always knowing more than me, acting like he is better than me, showing off his fancy car to me, leaving me, teasing me and then leaving me again, BUT that is what makes all this stronger to me, we made it though all that shit, and now we are here…this perfect lodge…with all these feelings…Its time…Once again the waiter comes by to offer the last glasses of wine


Phoenix: Um, I'm afraid to ask, but time for what?

Edgeworth: A marriage proposal.

All else: …

Maya: N-Nick, are you sure you want to get married to a tsundere?

Phoenix: Not you too, Maya!

Edgeworth: No, Maya, a failed tsundere. Let's be more precise.

Phoenix: I'm so lost…

Quote:
" Ill take a little, but you can top off his glass with the last bit of wine" I suggested miles have more wine

" Are you trying to get me drunk againg ? we don't need to relive the last time that happened." Miles giggled


Edgeworth: I do not giggle.

Phoenix: Yeah, remember the first chapter of this? Fic-you was looking at his nails and got a br-

Edgeworth: I thought you forgot the earlier parts of this!?

Phoenix: Um, well, it's kind of hard to forget something I needed therapy for…

[Edgeworth gets up to use the bathroom and is marveling at how "awesome" the faucets are.]

Edgeworth: …Is fic-me sure he's not drunk already?

Maya: I dunno. It's not the strangest thing to be excited about…

Phoenix: Yes it is, Maya.

Quote:
" Come Come sit please, its about to happen" I rushed

" What? Whats happening?" I could tell he was confused

As miles sits, I tell him to look out the window and with the beautiful falling snow, There is clear sky still here the snow clouds havnt reached yet and there it was…the sky full of shooting stars. They were having a metor shower tonight and we had the perfect view, to end the perfect day. Oh wait the wine…Miles picks up his glass to sip some wine, I look at him and watch close…

*Clink*

Miles brings the glasss down from his lips and looks in his glass…

" Phoenix…what…?" He looked at his glass and looked up at me

I get out of my chair and on my knee


Phoenix: Ugggh. I really wish you weren't right…

Edgeworth: Believe me, I've never been more disappointed in being right.

Larry: Yeah, but the two of you in the fic are really, um, weird! It's a perfect match, dontcha think?

Phoenix: Um…

Quote:
" Miles Edgeworth, we have been to hell and back, we have had our rival period, you abonded me, you took advantage of my love, but it onlt made me love you more, call me stupid I don't care, but in the end, I won. I won because in all that, here you are, and you always have been and I knew in the end you would be mine, you came back into mylife after leaving me, and you came to me after my meltdown, and you havnt left again. You have made me a better lawyer with all your cockiness in the courts, made me a stronger person with the emotional rollercoaters you put me on, and a better lover, and that's why in this magical moment….I ask…Miles…Will you marry me? Marry me and make me the happiest man ever? Marry me and deal with all my useless yelling? And put up with all of Larry's bullshit with me? Because lord knows Im gonna kill him one day and I need a good laywer by my side" I began while trying not to cry


Larry: N-Nick! What? I should be the one crying! To think you want to… to…

Phoenix: Larry, this is fic-me, OK? I wouldn't hurt you.

Edgeworth: And Wright, you are aware that I am a prosecutor, correct? I can't exactly defend you.

Phoenix: Don't tell me I need to give you the same speech, too!

Quote:
" Phoenix Wright…I didn't think you had it in you…but yes, I will marry you, and I am the one who is the luckiest…you did all this for me, after all I have done to you, and I don't deserve you, but yes"

Everyone around began to clap like that corny shit in romance movies, and the waiter brought us some cheesecake to help with our celebration, but the true celebration will happen when we get back to our cabin, alone, together…if you know what I mean


Phoenix: TMI, fic-me.

Maya: This entire story sounds like one of those fake tumblr posts. Y'know, where everyone in the train claps?

Edgeworth: Yes, but this one dragged on for far too long.

Quote:
BACK AT THE HOUSE

12:09 am…

" Larry I don't know what youre going to tell Wright and Edgeworth…You seriously messed up and they are coming home today. You have ruined the perfect weekend for them, what did they say when you called and told them there was a break in? ecause you called them right? And at least gave them a heads up to what they were coming home to?" Dick continued to rip on him

"OF COURSE I DID….nt…no I havnt called them…THEY TRUSTED ME AND I MESSED UP…again…FUCK DICK SHIT"


Edgeworth: A comma is needed in the last part of this sentence. Or else it just sounds very… odd.

Larry: Hm? How?

Maya: Um, we'll tell you when you're older, Larry.

Quote:
MEANWHILE AT THE HOSPITAL

" Miss Maya, your hand seems to be ok…it stopped bleeding an hour ago while you were in the waiting room, but here is a bandaid…and a sticker for the little pearl" The dr talked to maya


Maya: I went all the way to the hospital for just a band-aid? Lame.

Phoenix: Talk about a bill for nothing…

Larry: But if it really was infected, Maya would've been in great danger! It's OK, don't worry. Nick will pay your bill for you!

Phoenix: (Not a chance.)

Quote:
" Thanks DR. blood just freaks me out…ok pearl so when Phoenix gets home tomorrow…today or what ever, I have to tell them what happened, I cant let Larry go down for this…they barely trusted him as it was! I mean crazy enough they trusted me more than him, and that never happens!"

10:52 am…

" Phoenix…what is going on in our home?" Miles said with concern

After a spectacular night, and a quick flight home, we walk to our door with caution tape in my door way, and my door cracked open. I see flashing from the living room as if there is a crime secen in my home…fucking shit…what happens when I leave to dick heads in charge! I would have had better luck with VonDitzTiz then the two I left in charge.


Phoenix: …Who? Von… DitzTiz? Wait, I don't mean… Franziska?

Maya: That's a very creative nickname…

Edgeworth: Don't ever let her hear you call her that.

Phoenix: Like I ever would, anyway! It doesn't even make any sense! Where did fic-me get that?

Edgeworth: *smirks* Well, it seems that you two have something in common after all. You both say things that don't make any sense.

Phoenix: That's rich, Edgeworth.

Quote:
WHAT IF ITS MAYA AND LARRYS BODY IN THERE? What if they caught eachother in the house and started a fight? As We walk in, taking down the caution tape, I see larry giving a statement and dick taking pictures while another cop Is taking glass samples with blood on it…

" Larry what the fuck! I leave you in charge and my house becomes a crime scence! What did you do?" What the fuck happened n my house

" Wow not even gonna ask if im ok? What if that was my blood? What if I was hurt?" Larry tryied to distract us from the real issue at hand

" Well are you? Is that your blood?" Miles was trying to be curtious

"Pause…Did you eat my Pizza rolls?" Here is the real problem at hand


Phoenix: Wait, did I actually say the word "pause?"

Maya: It's in quotes, so…

Phoenix: Actually, is that even me who said that line?

Edgeworth: I-I'm not sure…

Phoenix: In any case, why is whoever said that more concerned about pizza rolls than a potentially dead body?

Edgeworth: The author is trying to make it funny.

Larry: But it's not funny.

All else: Agreed.

Quote:
" No but it would have been nice to have been asked…look I messed up and I was hoping this would all be cleaned up before you got home, but omeone broke in and someone got urt, but we cant find any blood trail…and WHY do you assume I ate your rolls? I don't even like pizza rolls right! Shame on you" Larry said making it obvious he ate my fucking food….

" is maya ok? Was she hurt?" Miles began to question

" I don't know why? Wh wold you ask that?"

I hesitated to answer and quickly grabbed my phone from my pocket and called maya.

" Phoenix, heeeeeeey…umm are you home? How was your weekend? Is larry o?" Mya was trying to act cute

" God doog youre ok!


Maya: Nick, I'm not a dog!

Phoenix: But I never said you were one. Look carefully, I said that you were a "doog."

Larry: What's a doog?

Phoenix: Uh, something that doesn't exist?

Maya: That's even worse!

Quote:
Wait why are you talking like that? WHY WOULD YOU ASK ABOUT LARRY?! Maya something happened at the hosue and there us blood? Did larry do something?" Im low key freaking out


Phoenix: Yeah, fic-me. Says the person who was freaking out more about the pizza rolls than the crime scene. Maybe. I'm still not even 100% sure it was me.

Quote:
" NO….I did…I brought pearl to the house and she broke your picture off your wall, and as I tried to clean it up, more things were getting broke an di got cut, and I went to the hospital and I just needed a bandain it turns out but you know how blood freaks me out… Im so sorry I didn't men to cause all this, I hope you forgive me…"

" Don't worry aout it. I mean damn it for breaking all our shit, but at least youre ok…now time to go mess with larry.." I have a plan with this investigation and I began to laugh


Edgeworth: Now it seems that fic-you is a sadist as well, Wright. Wonderful. Two sadists getting married.

Phoenix: Yeah, fic-me is cruel for making Larry feel like he messed up and is responsible for ruining our house…

Larry: *sniff* Don't expect me to pay for any of this stuff…

Quote:
WEEEEEELLLL YOULL HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT….BEAUCSE YEAH BITCH…THERE MORE…TO BE CONINUTED…FUCK MY LIFE….


Maya: Does that mean we'll have to see this fic again next year?

Phoenix: Ugh, I really hope not.

Larry: Yeah! I mean, what if fic-me gets arrested for something I didn't do again? You're really mean, Nick…

Phoenix: Yeah, it's already established that fic-me is a terrible person.


[The lights turn back on.]

Edgeworth: *stands up* Well, I'm glad that's over. This session seemed to go a little longer than the other sporkings…

Maya: Yeah, but at least this wasn't as bad as the first chapter of this fic!

Phoenix: To be honest, I don't think anything ever will be as bad as that chapter. That was our first introduction to sporking after all…

Edgeworth: And we had to get therapy…

Phoenix: Yeah, you don't even know how lucky you were to miss it, Larry.

Larry: I wish I skipped this chapter! Everyone was so mean to me!

Phoenix: I'm sorry fic-you has to be friends with a bunch of sadists, Larry…

Maya: Well, should we go? Burgers, Nick?

Phoenix: *sigh* I actually could go for something to eat after this sporking…

[And so, our sporking comes to a close as our sporkers head out, looking a little more cheerful than when they begun. We hope you enjoyed another sporking of this blast-of-the-past fic! Tune in next time!]

Last edited by Skittlemask on Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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What a classic. Loved it. Thank you for sporking this!
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Chogiwa

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By the way, did you know that there's a sporking theater fanfiction that was made by barrylawn?

...Neither did I.


https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12229057/1 ... on-sporker
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Sky wrote:
By the way, did you know that there's a sporking theater fanfiction that was made by barrylawn?

...Neither did I.


https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12229057/1 ... on-sporker

That we do, actually. It was posted here a few months back.

Can't wait for that meta sporking ;)
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um...hi your honour?

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man i need to do a spork sometime soon
ages since i attempted
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Ace Preschooler

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Been working on a sporking for something very very very very slowly, so slow it'll probably never be done.

While I'm here, also, here's a thing that's appeared.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12563683/1 ... -Adventure
Hexepta: Mayor Attack
A fangame of an unreleased AA-like game, Hexepta: Logic Hack. Follow my fangame to give the official one attention and make it world famous when it's released.
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Huh, interesting. It's like a trollfic, but only with half bad grammar.
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Fantina's perfect little Franny!

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I thought maybe I would let some of you know, but I deleted Law Plus Chaos from FF.net, AO3 and AFF.net. The spork should still be all right thought.

I was part of the Take That fanzine, but when they found out I was the author of Law Plus Chaos they kicked me out. I thought deleting it would help them reconsider but they don't want me anywhere near their project now. I don't think it's fair that they're kicking me out over a fic I wrote in 2010 when it's 2017 and I've improved a lot since then. I still have a feeling the fanzine will be pretty awesome though.

But great sporks, especially the taste the rainbow one.
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

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Chloe wrote:
great sporks, especially the taste the rainbow one.


Ye, thanks! :jazzedgy:


Chloe wrote:
I was part of the Take That fanzine, but when they found out I was the author of Law Plus Chaos they kicked me out. I thought deleting it would help them reconsider but they don't want me anywhere near their project now.


That's dumb. That was seven years ago, and doesn't that just show how much you've improved over the years? It was obviously just a silly crackfic anyway, as it could be plainly seen. I think they should be more understanding but whatever, you're probably better off without them in that case.
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Yeah, I agree. It's pretty stupid to go and bring back stuff from the past and use that to kick you out.
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Fantina's perfect little Franny!

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I was thinking. Wow, if it's bad enough to be kicked out of fan projects then maybe it has to go. I still have the original files if anyone wants to have a laugh.
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um...hi your honour?

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man i hope i could go back to sporking so badly
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Resident monster of Kurain village

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Hoi guys, I'm back! Had a lot of stuff going on so I couldn't write any sporks, but I'm working on one that isn't a Jakkid style fic (hopefully it won't suck).
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um...hi your honour?

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oooh thread's alive again
okay moving now.
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Resident monster of Kurain village

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BTW, is this thread still alive? It'd suck if it wasn't.
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

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Alicewright wrote:
BTW, is this thread still alive? It'd suck if it wasn't.


This thread always goes though periods of little activity, but it always gets revived at some point.
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Hi! I've setup a subforum for the sporking theater on the beta. Please do test it by posting future sporkings in it.

As for the look in story, it's a nice looking theater. Well, it will be once the builders finish. Because of a combination involving paperwork, management, a strike and multiple conflicts about the contracts, it's long past the estimated opening date. To recuperate costs, they've decided to start using it a bit anyway.

The snackbar is looking good. Too bad that it can't open yet due to nobody stocking it yet. A replacement fold up table has been provided. Try to not trip over any of the building supplies and tools left laying around. Please excuse the yet to be painted walls and the missing ceiling panels.

The theater itself has a working projector and screen. The special ordered chairs have yet to clear customs and are stuck in China. Some replacement fold up chairs have been provided for those who don't want to make their own improvised sitting arrangement with whatever loose stuff is around.

Over in the management room things are looking promising. Because there are provisions for installing lots of cool stuff. Eventually. When the bills have cleared for the engineers responsible for installing it. Meanwhile, there is makeshift table made out of building supplies with a laptop placed on it that controls everything.
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henke37 wrote:
Hi! I've setup a subforum for the sporking theater on the beta. Please do test it by posting future sporkings in it.

As for the look in story, it's a nice looking theater. Well, it will be once the builders finish. Because of a combination involving paperwork, management, a strike and multiple conflicts about the contracts, it's long past the estimated opening date. To recuperate costs, they've decided to start using it a bit anyway.

The snackbar is looking good. Too bad that it can't open yet due to nobody stocking it yet. A replacement fold up table has been provided. Try to not trip over any of the building supplies and tools left laying around. Please excuse the yet to be painted walls and the missing ceiling panels.

The theater itself has a working projector and screen. The special ordered chairs have yet to clear customs and are stuck in China. Some replacement fold up chairs have been provided for those who don't want to make their own improvised sitting arrangement with whatever loose stuff is around.

Over in the management room things are looking promising. Because there are provisions for installing lots of cool stuff. Eventually. When the bills have cleared for the engineers responsible for installing it. Meanwhile, there is makeshift table made out of building supplies with a laptop placed on it that controls everything.

Whoa, this is neat! Thanks.

Can we also post previous sporkings there to make sure they don't get lost like the old ones on the backup forums?
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Sure, why not.
Currently working on a redesign of cr.net itself! Come talk to me about it on Discord!
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henke37 wrote:
Sure, why not.


Thanks! Very much appreciated. I'll post them later, probably.

Anyway, this is the Sporking I wrote for the beta forums. Keep in mind some jokes work better there so go see it, dammit!

Hey, everyone! I guess this is going to be my first spork on the beta forums. I introduce to you...

phoenix wright ace prosecutor by icantyping

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:

This honestly is a typical trollfic in every way. It doesn't go out to offend everyone like Phoenix Wright Hecking Dies, but still. Usual fare- terrible grammar, illogical story, OOCness, but it's pretty average on the trollfic scale. Now, let's start with the first ever Beta CR spork!

Our sporkers today:

:phoenix: : Ah, finally. The smilies have returned. That's much better.

:maya: : Don't say stuff like that, Nick! The Management's listening, after all!

:edgeworth: : Why must I always be here?

:apollo: : Well, I guess I couldn't hide for long...

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Done!

Sporking commence.

Spoiler:
[The journey to critic bad fanfics begins once more for our unfortunate sporkers, as they are all gathered in the new Sporking Theatre.]

Phoenix: Geez, the place looks terrible here. Worse than before.

Apollo: Well, I heard that this place has opened prior to its estimated opening date, which explains a lot. (Including the fact that the management really wants us back in here..)

Maya: And there's no snack bar either! The fold up table just isn't the same...

Edgeworth: It doesn't matter how the place looks. We're still here for the same horrible purpose.

Speakers: Hey, that's no way to look at things, Spork Bitch!

Edgeworth: sigh

Phoenix: So what's it today, Management?

Speakers: Huh? Oh, it's the usual. Just another trollfic, by just the run of the mill trollfic author.

Phoenix: Huh, really? Another one?

Maya: Yeah! If this is new, shouldn't you have a better opening fic?

Speakers: Tch. You know what they say. Simpler's better. Now let's start this thing up!

Apollo: (Well, this is surprisingly fast for an intro. But you know what they say. Quicker's better.)

Quote:
phoenix wright ace prosecutor
by icantyping


Phoenix: What.

Maya: So I guess this is some sort of AU?

Edgeworth: That name...it looks familiar.

Apollo: (Yeesh, Mr.Wright as a prosecutor. I don't think even I'd be able to stand up to him as one.)

Quote:
Disclaimer: I don't own Ace Attorney, and I don't profit from this.


Edgeworth: It's coming to me now.

Apollo: Well, at least the grammar's alright.

Quote:
writers note: hey guys the court records forum sporked my fic phoenix wright turnabout monster which is kind of weird cause fics are for reading not for eatin but its still cool and im a famous writer now so thanks court records


Apollo: Never mind.

Phoenix: Turnabout monster? Isn't that the fic where Robert Hammond is Gourdy and becomes a serial killer?

Maya: Ooh, ooh! And that's the one where you turn into a super cool mech and have an epic fight on the moon, Nick!

Edgeworth: And I end up in prison with the monster at the end. sigh

Apollo: (Huh? What're they talking about?)

Quote:
phoenix wright was out on the streets cause he got disbarred. he was hobo now and lost his badge so he could not be defense attorney any more and he need to find job

"oh no" said phoenix "how can I be attorney if I cant be defense attorney"


Phoenix: Hey, just because I lost my badge doesn't mean I was homeless! I had a job!

Edgeworth: What, that abhorrent maelstrom of noise you call playing the piano?

Apollo: (And he did look like a hobo.)

Quote:
The gavins had set phoenix up so he lost his badge and then the other defense attorneys all betrayed him and called him guilty when he got disbarred.


Phoenix: Betrayed? That's a bit harsh.

Maya: Sheesh, Nick. I never knew you had this much trouble after your disbarment.

Quote:
all the defense attorneys like manfred von karma grossberg ray shields phoenix wright gregory edgeworth mia fey diego armando robert hammond apollo justice atena cyke kyle rivers and calisto yew had all betrayed him and kristoph gavin was even worse because he disbarred phoenix


Maya: Um...I don't think I've heard of most of these people before.

Phoenix: Most of them I've either never met before, didn't know at the time, or were dead.

Apollo: And they also put in your own name.

Edgeworth: And Manfred von Karma was a prosecutor. Did the author simply look up a list of names of lawyers and slapped them on here?

Quote:
phoenix was so angry that he was bitterer than godots coffee. no mor mister nice attorney he would get his REVENGE pheonix had gone dark just like edgeworth and von karma and godot and all the other lawyers out for revenge


Edgeworth: G-gone dark? Me?

Maya: 'No more mister nice attorney'?

Phoenix: I dunno, I like it.

Quote:
but first phoenix needed a job and since charley kicked him out of the office he had no place to live and he was a lonely hobo that felt like third wheel while maya and edgeworth had their jobs and got to watch steel samurai together while phoenix had to eat out of garbage so he went to visit godot at prison


Phoenix: I got kicked out by Charley?!

Edgeworth: Why is the author implying I watch Steel Samurai?!

Maya: And I don't think Nick ever ate out of the trash.

Apollo: Where's Trucy in all this, anyway?

Speakers: We thought she'd be unnecessary for this sporking. Our most sincerest apologies, Mister Justice.

Apollo: You know that's not what I meant!

Quote:
"wait thats it" said pheonix "godot was defense attorney but then he become prosecutor so if I cant be dfense attorney anymore I will be PROSECUTING ATTORNEY"


Maya: That's...certainly some logic.

Edgeworth: I doubt Wright would even be accepted for the job after his disbarment as a defence attorney.

Quote:
"ok see you later trite" said godot and then godot left to get more coffee at the gatewater hotel


Phoenix: Gatewater hotel?

Edgeworth: More importantly, isn't he supposed to be in prison?

Quote:
so then phoenix called gumshoe

"gumshoe" said phoenix "can I be a prosecutor"

"sure thing pal" said gumshoe

and that is how phoenix wright had a job again and now he was a prosecutor


Edgeworth: Nggh! You do not simply become a prosecutor by asking a detective! Especially not Detective Gumshoe!

Maya: That was mean, Mr.Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Perhaps so, but could you imagine the candidates he would choose given the privilege to do so?

Phoenix: He's got a point.

Apollo: (So by this logic, all I have to do to become a prosecutor is to ask Ema?)

Quote:
phoenix walked into klaviers office

"ja ja ja who are you herr hobo" said klaver gavin

"im prosecutor nick" said phoenix "this is my office now"

"ja ja ja what" said klavor "ja ja ja OBJECTION"


Edgeworth: It is simply impossible to take over another prosecutor's office if they have done nothing wrong.

Apollo: Plus, Prosecutor Gavin sounds nothing like this!

Quote:
"how does it feel to be the one losin his badge" said pheonix and he puhed klaver out the window and klaver fell to his death and landed in front of grossberg

"gumshoe" said prosecutor nick "arrest grossberg for the murder of klavr gavn"


Edgeworth: What?!

Apollo: Did he just kill Prosecutor Gavin?!

Maya: Wow, fic-Nick. Not cool.

Phoenix: I think it was less about losing his badge and more about losing his life.

Quote:
and then it was time for phoenixs first trial as a prosecutor

"court is now in sesson for trial of grossberg" said the judge

"the defense is ready" said grossbergs lawyer who was ray shields

"decisive evidence decisive witness" said prosecutor nick "what more do I need?"


Maya: Why is 'Prosecutor Nick' talking like von Karma?

Edgeworth: I hate to break it to the author, but not all prosecutors sound like this.

Quote:
"who are you" said the judge and grossberg and ray shields "are you the new prosecutor"

"yes im prosecutor nick" said prosecutor nick


Apollo: And no one comments on this? Shouldn't the judge recognise Mr.Wright?

Maya: Oh, Apollo. Still a newbie at this, aren't you?

Apollo: (Well, excuse me for trying to point out the holes in this story.)

Quote:
"ok let the trial begin" said judge

"OBJECTION" said prosecutor nick "new trial rule: the lawyer who loses gets executed with the culprit"

"okay" said the judge


Maya: Well, this got exciting real quick.

Apollo: And the judge agrees to this too?!

Phoenix: This is overdoing it, even for His Honour.

Quote:
"I call detective gumshoe to the stand" said prosecutor nick

"hi pals" said humshoe "the victim was klavio gavin and he was on roof of prosecutors office when grossberry came and shoved him onto ground and he died"

"okay now the defense can cross examine" said the judge

"OBJECTION" said prosecutor nick "new rule: the defense cannot cross examine anymore"


Edgeworth: This is one of the most one sided trials I've seen.

Apollo: Why is the judge just going along with this?!

Quote:
"OBJECTION" said ray shields

"OBJECTION" said prosecutor nick "new rule: the defense cant say objection anymore:

"ok guilty" said the judge


Phoenix: ..Well, that was quick.

Maya: Even Prosecutor von Karma would be jealous at how fast that trial went!

Edgeworth: groan

Quote:
"no done execute me" said shields

"pssh… nothin personnel… kid" said prosecutor nick

so then because of prosecutor nicks new rules the judge declared ray shields guilty two and grossberg and ray shields got executed


Apollo: This is stupid.

Phoenix: Really stupid.

Maya: Apparently Prosecutor Nick is the law of the land here.

Quote:
"gumshoe" said prosecutor nick "arrest the judge for murder of rayshields"


Edgeworth: What the-?!

Phoenix: This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

Maya: Depending on your definition of better.

Apollo: Well, at least it makes sense. The judge just mindlessly obeyed whatever he said. It's only fair he should get punished for what he's doing.

Quote:
"its aboot time for the trial of the judge" said the canada judge

"the defense is ready" said kristoph gavin

"decisive evidence decisive witness" said prosecutor nick "what more do I need?"


Maya: Alright, we're already onto the next trial!

Phoenix: Why is the judge's brother here?

Edgeworth: Most likely because the author has never heard of any other judges before.

Quote:
"its aboot time for the first witness" said canadian judge

"the prosecution calls the judge" said prosecutor nick

"court is now in session for the trial of the judge" said the judge


Apollo: Okay, I'm lost.

Maya: I don't think His Honour really is used to bing a witness.

Edgeworth: (Other than that one time...)

Quote:
"OBJECTION" said prosecutor nick "your here to testify not to judge"

"okay" said the judge "the judge finds the judge GUILTY"


Phoenix: Geez, fic-me's already breaking his previous record.

Quote:
"OBJECTION" said canadian judge "I declare verdicts not you now testify"


Phoenix: Never mind. I should've known it was too good to be true.

Quote:
"judge" said prosecutor nick "did you find ray shields guilty"

"yes" said the judge

"and then he got executed?" said prosecutor nick

"yes" said the judge

"ok guilty" said canadian judge


Phoenix: And I take that back already.

Maya: Technically though, someone else executed him, right?

Apollo: But the judge was responsible for just following along with everything blindly, so he takes the lion's share of the blame.

Maya: Whoa, Apollo! That's pretty fancy!

Apollo: (...Not really.)

Quote:
"now I will have my revenge kristhops gavon" said prosecutor nick

"noooooooo who are you" cried kristshop


Phoenix: Kristoph seriously doesn't recognise me.

Apollo: Well, its 'Kristhops Gavon', technically.

Maya: No, no! It's 'Kristshop', Apollo! It's a shop that sells Krists!

Apollo: And what's a Krist?

Maya: ...I'll get back to you on that later.

Quote:
"my name is phoenix wright ace attorney. you killed my attorneys badge. prepare to die"


Phoenix: Rather over dramatic of me, to say the least.

Edgeworth: So is Kristoph Gavin going to be executed as well?

Quote:
and then prosecutor nick went on to have a perfect record as prosecutor and he and farnizka prosecuted everybody and they lived happily ever after until one day


Phoenix: H-huh?!

Maya: Hmm. Nick and von Karma, huh...

Phoenix: Don't get any ideas into your head, Maya!

Quote:
"this court finds manfred von karma not guilty" said canada judge


Edgeworth: Oh, thank goodness. Fic-Wright has met his match.

Apollo: Who was the defence, anyway?

Quote:
"nooooo apollo justice you ruined my perfect record" said prosecutor nick and all his hair fell out and he turn into winston payne and lost evry trial ever


Apollo: M-me?!

Phoenix: Heh. Well done, Apollo. I always knew you had it in you.

Edgeworth: (Winston Payne? That name rings a bell...)

Maya: Wow, apparently losing one trial for Prosecutor Nick jinxes the rest of his career. How'd you beat him anyway, Apollo?

Apollo: D-don't ask me!

Quote:
the end


Edgeworth: Thank goodness.

[The lights come back on, though one appears to be flickering.]

Phoenix: What's up with that?

Speakers: Ah, sorry about that. We'll get it fixed next time, promise.

Apollo: (Somehow I doubt they're going to keep their promise.) Anyway, at least it's all over.

Maya: What an adventure that was!

Edgeworth: An 'adventure' indeed.

Phoenix: At least it didn't go on that long though.

[Thus, our sporkers leave the theatre, relieved that they didn't have to be there for long. However, this starts a new era of sporkings. See you...next time!]


Well, that was fun to write. Hope you enjoyed. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Bye bye.

-SC

P.S. A few criticisms about the beta:

1. Spoiler tags are worthless. Instead of saving space, they just say 'Don't read this' above the text.

2. Quotes also have a fixed size, so when you're quoting multiple lines/ stanzas, the text looks very clunky within it.

3. I tried putting parentheses in the narrator's text, but it doesn't work because it sees the first word within it and notes it a simple an error. Something like: A [First word] tag cannot be nested in an [i] tag.

Other than that though, it works fine.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Programmer

Gender: Male

Location: Sweden

Rank: Bug Sweeper

Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:25 pm

Posts: 823

Mmm. Yeah, it rejects anything that looks like it could be a tag. Use the noparse tag to make it ignore the specialty of any special characters.

As for the spoilers, known issue. But the quote issue is new.
Currently working on a redesign of cr.net itself! Come talk to me about it on Discord!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Resident monster of Kurain village

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:48 pm

Posts: 17

Nice! Looks like the forum's up and running again.
I'll probably post the spork I'm currently working on here, and then do future sporks at the new forum.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Alicewright wrote:
Nice! Looks like the forum's up and running again.
I'll probably post the spork I'm currently working on here, and then do future sporks at the new forum.

Yeah, seriously.

Can't wait for the new sporks.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Resident monster of Kurain village

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:48 pm

Posts: 17

*Rises up from grave* Hey guys I'm back! And ready to do a spork that isn't Jakkid-style (hopefully this doesn't suck)
The Kristoph Gavin Chronicles
Two Sahwits: :sahwit: :sahwit:
I will say that the premise of this fic is actually an interesting idea, it just isn't done well, even if the author said it was slightly crack.
Author: Integras
Original fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10778356/1 ... Chronicles

Sporkers, unite!
:phoenix: Phoenix Wright!
The title alone makes me nervous....

:apollo: Apollo Justice!
This better not be another shipping fic.

:klavier-pull: Klavier Gavin!
Herr forehead, the title states that this is about chronicles.

:trucy: And Trucy Wright!
Cheer up, daddy!

(We begin in the sporking theater, where Phoenix Wright and Apollo Justice await the fic to begin.)

Phoenix: Apollo, do you know where Trucy is?

Apollo: Yeah. I saw her around the snack stand talking-

Phoenix: We have a snack stand again?

Apollo: ......Yes. (Couldn't you wait until I finished my sentence?)

(The theater doors burst open as Trucy and Klavier come into the theater.)

Trucy: Daddy, did you see the new snack stand? It's awesome!

Klavier: Let's just get started so we can go home quicker, ja?

Speakers: Your wish is our command. Roll the tape!

Phoenix: (Oh how I wish the Management was like this during other badfics.)

Quote:
The Kristoph Gavin Chronicles


Phoenix: The fic hasn't even started yet and I'm scared of what's to come.

Klavier: Well, it can't be worse than the other fanfics about my bruder, ja?

Apollo: (Now you've jinxed it.)

Trucy: Come on, Polly! Have some faith in the fanfic!

Quote:
"With the abolishment of the jury, I, the honorable Judge of this trial, must declare the defendant Kristoph Gavin..."


Klavier: What?

Phoenix: Author, if you're going to start the fic like that, you could at least tell us a few important details.

Trucy: Like how the Judge abolished the jury!

Apollo: I don't think the Judge can just abolish the jury like that anyway.

Quote:
"Not Guilty"


All: No!

Trucy: Wait, but didn't we all expect that?

Quote:
The silence in the courtroom was deafening, so-to-speak. Not because of shock, but because of fear.


Trucy: That must've been pretty loud, then.

Apollo: How would everyone in the courtroom know that Kristoph was the one who really did it? As far as I know, there wasn't any decisive proof that said for sure he did it.

Phoenix: Well, then that just brings up even more questions, since the jury was the one who decided Kristoph was guilty.

Klavier: It's simple, Herr forehead, Herr Wright. The author does not have the brains to think this through.

Quote:
Everyone knew that this would be the inevitable outcome, especially because the previous means to find the suspect for this case was because of a jury, which was abolished for extreme bias by jurors.


Phoenix: Wait. So according to the author, the jury found the suspect?

Trucy: And the jury abolished itself?

Klavier: Which completely contradicts the statement that says the Judge abolished the jury?

Apollo: AND everyone in the courtroom just "knew" that this was going to happen?!?

Quote:
Heck, even the first murder charge Mr. Gavin was accused of had been "found out" to be a falsity.


Apollo: HOW?

Phoenix: Don't ask. It'll give us all a headache.

Klavier: But you did use false evidence in that trial, correct?

Trucy: You mean that bloody playing c-

Phoenix: Moving on!

Quote:
Every spectator of this trial wanted to forget the fact that both murder cases were tough to crack, the second one not even having enough evidence to specifically pin the blame on Gavin.


Apollo: I don't think anyone could forget Kristoph Gavin.

Klavier: You know, I've noticed that every time the author refers to mein bruder, they always use his last name.

Trucy: Huh. Must be a coincidence.

Quote:
Kristoph Gavin, the presumed killer of Zak Gramarye and Drew Misham, was officially allowed to walk as a free man.


All: We know.

Quote:
The only people this came as a shock to was a certain group of people...
Specifically, the two Wrights and a certain Apollo Justice...


Apollo: Would it really kill the author to put these into complete sentences?

Klavier: Based on the way they wrote this, apparently yes.

Trucy: Dangit, author! You could've given daddy a good murder case!

Phoenix: I wouldn't call it murder, but meh.

Quote:
As the defendant flashed an evil smirk at the group, Trucy gasped in horror, knowing with a criminal loose like Gavin, they were in grave danger.


Klavier: Again with the Gavin. It only takes a few seconds to spell out "Kristoph", you know.

Phoenix: The fic can't hear you.

Quote:
Emphasis on the grave, of course.


Speakers: *Ba-dum Crash*

Trucy: Pun City!

Apollo: I'm not even sure that counts as a pun.

Trucy: Oh come on, Polly!

Quote:
The prosecutor, Gaspen Payne, was squealing like a pig on fire, absolutely sweating bullets, and started to run away with a speed that would make Usain Bolt jealous while screaming "You're not getting me!"


Trucy: Wow, he can sweat bullets!

Klavier: But the prosecutor for that case was me, ja? Who is this Gaspen Payne?

Phoenix: I don't know, but he sounds familiar. (Something to do with Athena and bombs....huh.)

Apollo: I remember someone called Winston Payne, nothing else.

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Phoenix Wright not to spoil Dual Destinies. This is your only warning.

Quote:
At this sight, Kristoph just laughed and muttered under his breath a statement that, even if the spectators didn't hear, could be simply guessed by knowing the man's true hatred for all inferior minds...


Trucy: At least the author finally spelled Mr. Gavin's name.

Klavier: Not that it's much.

Quote:
"I wouldn't waste my breath on a simple-minded plebeian like yourself. I have bigger fish in my mind.. he he... ha ha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


Apollo: Oh, so that's what the title of this spork meant when it said the fic was a little cracky. Ha ha.

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Apollo Justice to refrain from the meta-commentary.

Trucy: ....Plebeian?

Phoenix: No.

Quote:
As Kristoph suddenly broke out in an insane laugh, every spectator could feel their bones rattling, chills being sent down their spines.
In fact, the true horror of this scene caused some spectators to forcefully push their way out of the courtroom, probably going home to pack their bags and buying a one way ticket to a third world country.


Apollo: Okay, author, we get it. Kristoph's laugh was scary.

Trucy: Yeah! No need to bog it down with descriptions of third world countries!

Klavier: I believe that was the point.

Quote:
Everyone was astonished, but in silence, still hearing Kristoph's ever lingering laugh echo in the courtroom...


All: We get it!

Quote:
"Court is adjourned!"
Even with the judge trying to sound strong and commanding, his booming voice sounded more of a loud squeak, maybe even like a twig snapping compared to Kristoph's blood curling laughter.


Apollo: Now the author is doing long descriptions of voices. Joy.

Phoenix: I've never heard the Judge have a "booming voice".

Klavier: No, that would be Herr forehead's "chords of steel", ja? *smirk*

Apollo: Gee, thanks.

Trucy: Ooh, burn!

Quote:
With this, every attendee left impatiently, trying to escape this hellhole of a courtroom. A courtroom left in figurative shambles, as if the maniac's laughs shook the entire court, creating a earthquake.


Trucy: An earthquake? I guess Kristoph Gavin stole Polly's "chords of steel" then, huh?

Klavier: Nein, he probably upgraded them to Super Saiyan chords of steel for this.

Apollo: *antennae hair droops* I'm sitting right next to you guys, you know?

Quote:
1 Year Later


Phoenix: Timeskip already? Good, maybe it means that we're almost done.

Speakers: Don't get your hopes up.

Quote:
Phoenix, Trucy, Apollo, and Athena were living pretty happily. Apollo and the Wrights almost completely forgetting about Kristoph, thinking that maybe he wasn't going to come. Maybe he wouldn't bother them, realizing he could get caught for this and gave up...


Apollo: Gee, I wonder what's going to happen next.

Phoenix: Worst foreshadowing ever.

Quote:
How stupid... How pitiful... Hope as delusional as this is false, built only with precious desires that wish this was over... Obviously it isn't, or my name isn't Kristoph Gavin!


All: I knew it.

Trucy: It WAS kinda obvious from the beginning, after all.

Quote:
POV SWITCH!

Kristoph Gavin


Klavier: Terrific. Now I get to see mein bruder's personality taken apart piece by piece.

Phoenix: If the author was skilled, then we wouldn't have to worry about that.

Apollo: If the author was skilled, then we wouldn't be here.

Quote:
Yes... Yes! I have finally developed my perfect plan to destroy the Wrights and that wretched former protégé of mine, Apollo Justice. Maybe if I'm lucky enough, I can even drop that Athena character in despair. Yes, I will make them feel despair.. The despair of betrayal.. Killing is too easy... Killing is illogical in this situation!


Trucy: Woah! OOC alert!

Quote:
Betrayal.. They hate that.. Betrayal.. Despair... I will make them feel agony, hear their hearts scream out "This can't be true!"


All: We know.

Apollo: How long is the author gonna drag this out?

Klavier: Hopefully not much longer, Herr forehead.

Quote:
And the fact of the matter is, it is true! It is reality... It is-


All: WE KNOW!

Phoenix: Move on already!

Quote:
Oh who am I kidding, coherence in my thoughts was never my strong suit. I could keep my composure and act like an intelligent man, but the screaming of thoughts in my head that I cannot perceive, cannot understand!


Apollo: What.

Phoenix: So the author wrote that entire long-winded, drawn out preface to this... only to say that it's not going to happen?!?

Klavier: The author did not think this through. Again.

Quote:
The screams, they are rambles, rambles of my darkest desires!


Trucy: Eech.

Phoenix: Well at least that's sort of in-character.

Apollo: The world may never know with Kristoph Gavin.

Quote:
Before I enact my plan though. I might want to get a therapist. I don't think mumbling to myself is a good sign of sanity. I mean, who am I talking to anyway? This is starting to seem like one of those $1 books that you find in a back corner of a book store in which an insane person finds love. Or maybe it's just a bad fanfi-


Klavier: It seems that the fic has become self-aware.

Phoenix: If he was going to enact his "plan", why would he want to see a therapist? I'm pretty sure that's a one-way ticket to jail.

Apollo: Yeah, he'd go to the therapist and say "Hey, Mr. Therapist, I have grand delusions of possibly torturing three people and I am certain that I am insane. Can you please help me?"

Trucy: Don't forget "Also, I am a person who has been suspected of two murders around a year ago."!

Phoenix: "Which could have been prevented if I went to see you beforehand!"

Klavier: "I also have delusions that this entire dialogue I have been speaking is part of a fanfi- oh wait.

Speakers: Epic fail.

Quote:
Probably not.


All: Oh really?

Apollo: Oh, no, who would have guessed that Kristoph would change his mind at the last second?

Trucy: Way to let us down, author! Bad author! *sticks tongue out at screen*

Quote:
I was always interested in enriched literature anyways...


Apollo: If "enriched literature" means law books, then yes.

Klavier: I didn't know you would ever agree with something mein bruder says, Herr forehead.

Apollo: Shush.

Quote:
Back on topic, if I am going to ensnare THEM in this trap, I would have to get a new look, a new identity, a-


Trucy: A new family?

Klavier: A new office?

Apollo: A new motive that actually makes more sense?

Phoenix: A new mind that is actually sane?

Quote:
Maybe I should consider that therapist...


Apollo: Oh come on! How long is the author going to argue with themselves about which stance to take?!?

Phoenix: In a way, I guess you could count Kristoph to be in-charachter... sort of.

Quote:
"Kristoph, what are you doing behind my desk?"
Oh yeah, forgot about my immature rockstar brother...


Apollo, Trucy: *snigger*

Klavier: ...

Phoenix: You know, I'm starting to wonder if the author got Klavier and Kristoph Gavin mixed up.

Trucy: Maybe it's the other way around?

Klavier: That's very helpful, thanks.

Quote:
He seems pleased that I wasn't convicted though, especially for a crime I didn't commit...


Phoenix: Oh really? He didn't commit that crime?

Apollo: But the beginning of the fic explicitly said that Kristoph did it! What's next, another Kristoph insanity debate?!

Speakers: Be careful what you wish for.

Quote:
Yes, that's right!
Even a perfectly sane individual such as myself would want revenge oh someone who was trying to get you convicted. It's perfectly normal! Right? Right?


All: No, it's not!

Trucy: So, is Mr. Gavin sane or not?

Apollo: I'd go with the latter.

Quote:
I'm just glad that He Who Shall Not Be Named was convicted and I can finally move on with life..


Phoenix: Wow. Thanks for dropping in a random crossover in the middle of the fic, author.

Trucy: Maybe it's someone named He Who Shall Not Be Named?

Klavier: If that was the case, he'd say it would be Herr Wright.

Apollo: Or, alternatively, he could yell
*ahem*
WrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggHhHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT-

*cough cough cough cough*

Trucy: Polly!

Klavier: Herr Forehead, I never knew you could yell so loud that even Super Saiyan chords of steel could get tired.

Quote:
"Bruder, are you playing Caverns and Dinosaurs again?"
How does he still remember that!?
"No, Klavier!"
"Then what are you doing?"
"Umm..."


All: *Laughing fit*

Quote:
"Whatever, can you just leave. The fraulein detective is coming and I don't think you would want to see her..."
"Hell hat no fury like an angry detective."
"Amen."


All: ....

Apollo: Since when do these sentences belong together?

Phoenix: Never.

(The lights turn back on.)

Klavier: That was an unusual way to end the fic.

Phoenix: Whatever, at least we get to go home.

Yay! So finally finished with this one. :lisa-hands:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Oh, btw, I can't login to the new beta site. Can someone help me? Pwease?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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Alicewright wrote:
Oh, btw, I can't login to the new beta site. Can someone help me? Pwease?

At the top, there's a bar saying 'Sign In'. Click on it and input your username and password on this forum.

Anyway, the Sporking was good. A few criticisms though:

- Why is the Management telling Phoenix not to spoil DD again? It's been 4 years since it came out.
- A major point that you didn't point out was that the jury system was a TEST system. However, its specified at the very start of 4-4 that the verdict will be real. Why people forget this so many times, I dunno. But it means that Gavin's verdict will be permanent.
- Minor thing, but I wish you'd have put a bit more emphasis on the new theatre. It makes things seem more fresh, after all :(

Other than that, I enjoyed it a lot! Good sporking overall.

Out of curiousity though, why did it take you so long to write this? It seems pretty short to me. maybe it's because I'm so used to writing these all the time I guess

The fic was atrocious. Even in the post script of the fic Kristoph is pissed that he was OOC. I know it's crack, but crack is usually....enjoyable, you know?
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Resident monster of Kurain village

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Socot wrote:
Alicewright wrote:
Oh, btw, I can't login to the new beta site. Can someone help me? Pwease?

At the top, there's a bar saying 'Sign In'. Click on it and input your username and password on this forum.

Anyway, the Sporking was good. A few criticisms though:

- Why is the Management telling Phoenix not to spoil DD again? It's been 4 years since it came out.
- A major point that you didn't point out was that the jury system was a TEST system. However, its specified at the very start of 4-4 that the verdict will be real. Why people forget this so many times, I dunno. But it means that Gavin's verdict will be permanent.
- Minor thing, but I wish you'd have put a bit more emphasis on the new theatre. It makes things seem more fresh, after all :(

Other than that, I enjoyed it a lot! Good sporking overall.

Out of curiousity though, why did it take you so long to write this? It seems pretty short to me. maybe it's because I'm so used to writing these all the time I guess

The fic was atrocious. Even in the post script of the fic Kristoph is pissed that he was OOC. I know it's crack, but crack is usually....enjoyable, you know?


-I know a lot of people who haven't finished DD yet, so.......
-That's a good point...I guess that I just didn't point that out.
-This was for this theater, not the new one
-I'm a Junior, and I've been busy over the summer and school (NSLC, robotics club, DECA, Physics stuff)

Yeah, I just didn't include the ending about Kristoph being pissed that he was OOC because people would've figured that out by the end of the fic anyway lol.

Thanks for the review!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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What do you mean? DD is old news now. It's not even on the Spoiler Rules anymore. In fact, neither is SoJ. Especially not the first case of the game, which is prominently shown in the trailers. Most people who haven't played it either don't have a 3DS or are newcomers to the series. Just thought that was a rather odd thing to spoiler.

Anyway, there doesn't seem to be much on the author's account sadly (other than a sick Kazuichi cosplay). There's a few other crackfics and trollfic, but they're all pitifully short. Even shorter than this one. Tch. Have to look for another goldmine, I guess.

Oh yeah, I'm still on the lookout for (actually trying to be good/not trollfic or crackfics) some SoJ related fics to spork. Do inform me if you find any.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

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Socot wrote:
What do you mean? DD is old news now. It's not even on the Spoiler Rules anymore. In fact, neither is SoJ. Especially not the first case of the game, which is prominently shown in the trailers. Most people who haven't played it either don't have a 3DS or are newcomers to the series. Just thought that was a rather odd thing to spoiler.

Anyway, there doesn't seem to be much on the author's account sadly (other than a sick Kazuichi cosplay). There's a few other crackfics and trollfic, but they're all pitifully short. Even shorter than this one. Tch. Have to look for another goldmine, I guess.

Oh yeah, I'm still on the lookout for (actually trying to be good/not trollfic or crackfics) some SoJ related fics to spork. Do inform me if you find any.

it's pretty hard t find some of those....an easy target is KasiaStormdog....but she never made a new fic ever since before DD....soo...noo.
There aren't many of those fics (as far as i can tell and see) and i doubt much of those are post SoJ.
but i'll keep a lookout if i could.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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HeroMan66475 wrote:
Socot wrote:
What do you mean? DD is old news now. It's not even on the Spoiler Rules anymore. In fact, neither is SoJ. Especially not the first case of the game, which is prominently shown in the trailers. Most people who haven't played it either don't have a 3DS or are newcomers to the series. Just thought that was a rather odd thing to spoiler.

Anyway, there doesn't seem to be much on the author's account sadly (other than a sick Kazuichi cosplay). There's a few other crackfics and trollfic, but they're all pitifully short. Even shorter than this one. Tch. Have to look for another goldmine, I guess.

Oh yeah, I'm still on the lookout for (actually trying to be good/not trollfic or crackfics) some SoJ related fics to spork. Do inform me if you find any.

it's pretty hard t find some of those....an easy target is KasiaStormdog....but she never made a new fic ever since before DD....soo...noo.
There aren't many of those fics (as far as i can tell and see) and i doubt much of those are post SoJ.
but i'll keep a lookout if i could.


Yeah, I've already sporked KasaiStormDog before. It gets predictable quickly. That's why I have a rule where I don't spork the same author twice.

Anyway, I looked into ff.net. Couldn't find much in terms of SoJ but I found a few other fics that are sporkable.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4366400/1/ ... onfessions

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6798850/1/ ... d-maya-too

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7378154/1/ ... t-Day-Ever

Each are pretty terrible, though in their own unique ways. Anyone else is free to spork
those anytime. Just be sure to claim them for your own. Currently I'm looking for something new and fresh.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

Gender: Female

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Socot wrote:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6798850/1/The-ace-attorneys-day-to-larrys-house-and-maya-too

Each are pretty terrible, though in their own unique ways. Anyone else is free to spork those anytime. Just be sure to claim them for your own. Currently I'm looking for something new and fresh.


Actually, that one was sporked in the old thread, so if anyone takes it it'll be a re-sporking.

Anyway, I've been thinking of sporking something that hasn't been sporked since, like, 2012. BenLyon sporked two chapters of a fic called 12 Charms and for some reason I want to finish it. It no longer exists on ff.net, but I have my ways. So expect that in the near future. Possibly.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Skittlemask wrote:
Socot wrote:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6798850/1/The-ace-attorneys-day-to-larrys-house-and-maya-too

Each are pretty terrible, though in their own unique ways. Anyone else is free to spork those anytime. Just be sure to claim them for your own. Currently I'm looking for something new and fresh.


Actually, that one was sporked in the old thread, so if anyone takes it it'll be a re-sporking.

Anyway, I've been thinking of sporking something that hasn't been sporked since, like, 2012. BenLyon sporked two chapters of a fic called 12 Charms and for some reason I want to finish it. It no longer exists on ff.net, but I have my ways. So expect that in the near future. Possibly.

Ah, damn. Should've known that was an old one.

Still, 12 Charms, eh? I don't think you can recreate what Ben Lyon was doing (he had a very unique writing style and always kept a nice message at the end), but I'll still be looking forward to the rest of that terrible fic.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

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guess i found some fics to spork some time in the future.
if i could.
still planning to spork miscarriage of justice whenever i feel to spork something....
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Read this thread for hours and now I can understand why Ace Attorney isn't popular like other games and why there are many Ace Attorney fans turns into Ace Attorney haters.
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Meh. You should never let fans of a series turn you off from the series itself imo.

That said some parts of the community can be pretty bad though. I've learned quite a lot of things here that I'd rather forget
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Can't go to hell. Out of vacation days.

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Yeah, super-popular stuff like FNAF has way worse fandoms than Ace Attorney. The AA community is pretty tame as far as fandoms go, honestly.
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