'Hey, I never thought I'd ever see you back in this country, Kristoph', Phoenix said.
Chance was at a complete loss. It had been... more than ten years since someone last called him Kristoph, and the last time he heard someone doing so was the last time he heard his wife's voice... This incident... no, he shouldn't be thinking about it. Not now. But he just could not chase out of his mind this dream he just had.
'Hey, Kristoph, you hear me all right ?' Phoenix asked.
'Yeah...' he answered, slightly annoyed. He turned away.
'Well, thank God you can still speak. For a moment I thought that bullet had really reduced you to silence.' The dark-haired man added with a cynical grin on his face.
Chance finally understood who the hobo he had met in the Court library actually was. He was no ordinary hobo, he was the Legendary Phoenix Wright, and one of his former friends. At once, he wanted to ask him why he presented forged evidence during a certain trial seven years ago, but as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, he heard a sweet yet devilish voice in his head :
'No, this man is not your friend anymore. You don't have any friends. You are alone, all alone.'
'So', said Phoenix, 'I won't say I'm not pleased to see you, after ten years of deadly silence. But what on earth you are doing here Kristoph ?'
'As you can see, someone had tried to shot me down. Of course, when someone tries to do so, you usually end up at the hospital, if not directly put in a nice little wooden box for worms to eat your body away...' he answered sarcastically.
Phoenix laughed, and Kristoph recognized it at once. He had heard this very laugh so many times before, back in the day when Phoenix still considered him his mentor.
'Your humor is as sour as ever. I thought your little field-trip abroad might have put some sugar into it.' Phoenix added.
They stared at each other for a few seconds without uttering a single word. Then, Phoenix went on : 'So, you're not gonna tell me why you're back after ten years ? I can't understand why you left the country without telling any of your friends, or why you wrote that suicide note, or why you abandoned your own daughter like you did.'
Even though Kristoph remained completely silent as he talked, Phoenix could see the traces on anger on his smile, which looked more and more forced as he went on.
'But at least, I can understand... this incident ten years ago... I can understand how deeply it hurt you, how much you suffered when you learned what had happened to your wife, and...
'SHUT UP!' Chance suddenly screamed; 'SHUT THE FUCK UP! You can understand ? Oh please Phoenix, don't give me that bullshit!! There's no such thing as understanding, is there ?'
'Oh, did I say such a thing ?' Phoenix asked, seemingly unaware of his old friends outburst. He was quietly staring at the white raven on the branch of a walnut tree, planted in a wonderful park situated just behind the clinic.
'Yes, you did.' Chance answered irritated.
'Heh, yeah, you're right' Phoenix answered, grinning. 'You not believing in something doesn't necessarily mean this thing can't possibly exist, Kristoph. You seem as narrow-minded as you used to be. I thought that traveling abroad might have opened your mind, even just a little, but it seems I was wrong.'
Chance did not answer him. 'He's really got a point here' he thought.
'So, you really won't say anything to me then ?'
'No'
'Absolutely nothing ? You won't even tell me if you still drink that Fanta Melon Cream Soda before your trials ?'
'No, absolutely nothing.'
'Come on... Surely, you can tell me why you picked up this particular case, can't you ?'
'Wh... what do you mean ?' Chance asked tentatively.
'Don't play dumb with me Kristoph. I know why you chose this very case.'
'Oh, really ?' Chance asked ironically.
'Yes, I do.' Phoenix answered and crossed his arms over his chest.
'So, tell me, why did I pick up this case? Or have you lost your lawyers intuition, Trite?'
'Ahhh.... So, you know about him, do you ?' Phoenix said, a note of amusement in his voice. 'It seems you were still concerned about your friends after all...'
'Answer my question Phoenix, and save the chit-chat for later, if you please.' Chance snapped.
'Ah ah ah. Well...' he said, no longer grinning, 'You knew you wouldn't win this trial. There was no way for you to prove your client's innocence... not now. I'm sure you've realized by now that your brother, yes, your own brother, was not guilty. However, I'm sure that getting him a not guilty verdict was definitely not your intention. Am I right so far ?' he asked, a somber look on his face.
'Go on' Chance said simply.
'Well, I know you very well, much better that you think I do, actually. I know that you trust me.' Phoenix studied the other carefully as he spoke. 'You've always hated losing, and from what I've learned about your trials abroad, it still seems to be the case.'
'Oh really ?' Chance asked sarcastically.
'Ya, really', Phoenix answered seriously.
Chance knew perfectly well that, once again, Phoenix was right. Actually, he was so right, it even made him feel slightly nauseous.
'So, the only reason you had to pick up such a case is that you wanted to punish yourself, and I think I know for which reason you wanted to do so. Your wife, isn't it ?' Chance said nothing, and he went on. 'You still believe what happened ten years ago was your fault, don't you ?'
Chance did not answer. But his nausea grew worse and worse with each one of Phoenix's words, and the few colors on his face were starting to fade real quick.
'But it wasn't. Even though I did try to talk some sense into you after the trial that day, you just wouldn't listen to anything, would you ? You know, when I tried to talk you into not believing everything was your fault. However, this time... you are the one responsible for all the sadness you caused to all the people who cared for you. You are the one responsible for what happened today in court. You lying in this bed right now, that is all your fault, Chance. If you've suffered so much during the ten past years,well, you have your part of responsibility. Trying to run away...'
'But I...' Chance started, and Phoenix briskly cut him off.
'Haven't you realized who that girl is ? Don't you understand why she tried to kill you ? Yeah, you've been running away from your past, and from her, for ten years. But it seems you couldn't bear its weight anymore, could you ? I mean, the weight of your past, your guilt... That's why you came back here, so you could put an end to everything. So you could kill your miserable and worthless self in the very country, the very city where your wife died. That's what you were thinking, weren't you ? Always trying to run away, even now... But I'll tell you something Kristoph... Angélie, she didn't...
'What ?!' Chance asked, staring at Phoenix in bewilderment. 'D'you mean she's-- I mean Ang...'
'Oops, little slip of the tongue, sorry' said Phoenix who, once again, became very much interested in the white raven on the branch outside and didn't answer his friend's question. 'What I mean', he went on 'is what I just told you is the reason you came back in this country, isn't that the case ?'
Chance did not answer. He was pretty much shaken by what Phoenix had just said. Was it really just a slip of the tongue ? Was his wife really... but no, it was impossible. Simply impossible, yeah, that was it. There was no way she could be... but what if she was ? No, no, no ! It was impossible. Why he was thinking about that anyway ? Did he really want to suffer a little bit more ? Were the ten past years not painful enough ?
'At least... that's what I used to think, until... well, I heard you murmuring something while you were asleep. I couldn't believe it at first, but I guess everything makes sense after all. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.'
'Wh-What did I say ?'
'Ah ah ah. Sorry, but I think I can't tell you right now. You have to understand by yourself.'
'Understand what ?' he asked.
Once again, Phoenix did not answer, and kept staring at the same raven with an almost disturbing insistence. But Chance was the one disturbed here. Who was he trying to kid by playing dumb. He knew Phoenix was right, he was right from the very beginning. The only person who could see through him as easily, who knew him as well as he did was... but no, no, NO !
'This is NOT the time to think about that, it's all over now; Why do you keep on thinking about her ? It's been ten years now !... Il est temps de tourner la page, this famous French singer used to say' he thought.
Still, Phoenix remained silent, still staring the white raven.
'Why isn't he saying anything ? Why ? He has to say something, he has to ! Man, what did he think he was trying to achieve with his silence, heh ? I've already suffered enough without other people's help. But of course, he couldn't understand that... or could he ?' But Chance did not know what to think anymore. Then, he realized he was still shaking, and he didn't know why. 'It's not cold', he thought, 'so why am I shaking like that' ? He was sure of something however, it wasn't all this rubbish Phoenix had said that made him shake like that. Hell no, it wasn't because of all this bloody pile of rubbish !
He really couldn't believe a word of all of this. Why, self-denial was, by far, a more appropriate attitude for such a situation, wasn't it ? How could he ever admit his own mistakes, his own pain, but first and foremost, his own weakness ? No, there was no way he could do this. He did not even have the strength to admit such a thing. He would not have ran away, from his friends, from his past, from his very own daughter, even from his own pain for ten whole years if that was the case. Ah, the silent songs of delusion, those soft and expressionless figures, dancing on this crumbled wall. And this clock he kept on looking at, even though it was broken. Oh, and that mirror... he kept looking at his own shattered reflection in it. He could not understand why he was doing all of this. But he knew one thing, he was not ready. Definitely not.
***
He was suddenly pulled back to reality by Phoenix.
'So, when are you planning to stop running away and face your own fears, your own pain ?' he suddenly asked him. 'Have you ever thought of all poor Sarah had to go through?'
An eerily silence fell in the room, and Chance could still hear those words echoing, like a enormous bell that had just been rung. He felt something breaking loose in himself, like some kind of icecap suddenly melting, and tons of water being freed at once. Without even realizing it, he had gotten up, and started yelling at his friend.
'I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP !! Running away ? Don't give me that bullshit ! Stop talking like some sort of magician from the Gramarye troupe ! You make me SICK with all your little riddles and mysterious sentences !'
Once again, Phoenix did not seem to be the least concerned by Chance's outburst of anger, which had the inevitable effect to strengthen it even more.
'Oh, but will you LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO THEM, GODDAMNIT ! You've always been like THAT, I mean,that's just... that's just...'
But he could not find the strength to keep on. He felt something in his throat, a tight knot, and he could barely breathe. Tears started to roll down his cheeks, and as he could not stand on his own two feet anymore, fell on the floor.
'Wh-Why', he muttered, 'why is all this happening to me ?'
Phoenix had rushed over to him, and taking him by the arm, helped him to stand up once again, so he could go back on his bed. Obviously, he was in no condition for standing on his feet, and definitely not letting his own anger consume his whole body.
'Ok now, you really should calm yourself down Kristoph...' Phoenix said softly.
The tears made everything blurred, but still, he was able to see his friend's face very clearly behind the crystal-like veil. He realized how tired his friend looked. He seemed to be very concerned about him, and at once, a huge feeling of shame overcame him, and while sobbing miserably, he tried to formulate an apology.
'I-I'm sorry Phoenix... I'm so sorry...' he muttered timidly.
'Don't worry about it...' he said compassionately.
'I-I don't understand anything anymore, Phoenix. It's terrible, simply terrible... I don't know what to do, I don't trust myself anymore. Oh, if you knew how much I grew into hating myself, how much I despise that foreign thing I've become. I just can't bear it anymore... You remember how much I used to loathe Manfred Von Karma ? It was before you got your badge of course... I realized I had become but the same kind of dirt as this man. I mean, I did a lot of things when I was abroad, and soon enough, it occurred to me...' Chance paused to catch his breath. 'I had taken the same path as this man; I might have ended up walking the very path I dreaded to even put a single footstep on. That's one of the reasons why I flew away from this country. But in vain... Guess you were right about it. I...'
Chance wasn't sure whether he should go on or not. Yet, Phoenix could see how much his friend was suffering, and didn't say a word.
'I-I was really looking forward to commit suicide Phoenix. That's the main reason I came back to this country. I could not possibly go at peace, but I really wish to end everything in this country. At least, that's what I used to think. Now... After talking with you, I think I got it... that wasn't the only reason... but I'm not ready to accept the whole truth... not right now.'
Phoenix had listened carefully, without saying anything. He smiled timidly, and went back at staring outside the translucent windows. A slight rain had started to fall, and some very dark clouds had plunged the city under an early veil of darkness. Wind was blowing softly in the branches of the walnut tree, and the white raven seemed to have flown to someplace else.
'Ok', he finally said after a few minutes of awkward silence, '…I've gotta go now. Take care of yourself, Kristoph. Your wound is really superficial, but still... I know the real one is still wide open, and hurting you more than what you'd like people to think. So... please take care of yourself, will you ?' he asked.
'Ye-Yeah, I'll try...'
'Heh, you are amusing, Kristoph.' Phoenix answered, grinning.
But as he was about to leave the room, the door burst open. For a moment, Chance thought his eyes were failing him. Something greenish with large and long tentacles flowing smoothly from the top of its head was staring at him. At Chance's horror, there was what seemed to be a second body attached to his left side. It eyes went from him to Phoenix, who was not the least surprise by the sudden appearance of this quite weird creature in the room. In fact, he even started talking to it.
Chance was at a total loss of words, and stared at the alien, his mouth wide-open.
'Ah ah ah, I forgot to tell you Kristoph, the Earth was invaded by the army of Lord Zbblozzrgh while you were quietly sleeping like a baby' said Phoenix.
'Oh ?' Was all that Chance could get out.
'No, not really' Phoenix answered smartly. 'Trucy, take off that alien disguise ? If you don't, I'm afraid Kristoph will eventually find himself with a swarm of flies in his mouth.'
'Ok', said a voice that sounded perfectly normal this time. Chance let out a gasp. The voice was actually a girl's, and what's more, she looked so much like his daughter, at least, what he thought she would look like, since it was now more than 10 years since he last saw her. He realized that was he thought was a second body attached to the main body of the alien was... he had already seen it once a few years ago, on TV...
'Kristoph, may I introduce you to Trucy and Mr Hat ?' Phoenix said. 'She's my daughter, and she's about the same age as yours. She's a magician in training.'
'Hi, Mr Fanta-Melon-Cream-Soda !' she said, bouncing on her feet. She was radiant, and her smile reminded him so much of his daughter than he was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to cry.
'Oh no, Kristoph. You're not going to cry again, are you ?' Phoenix said, grinning. 'You were never a cry-baby before.'
'That's not funny' he said.
He was about to add something else, when someone entered the room. It was an old man, with a small, pinkish tuft of hair. Chance noticed that a lot of his teeth were missing. 'The perfect specimen of the Old Pervert', he thought.
He just kept on scratching his head and his chest as he talked.
'Hum... have you seen Lord Zbblozzrgh ?' he asked.
'He's just left a few minutes ago. But he said he was coming back tomorrow. He had been looking for you all day', Phoenix answered.
But as he turned his head toward him, the old man noticed Trucy and started.
'Ah, Trucy !' he said. Chance noticed he was now trying to wipe the drool that had started to drip from his mouth as he stared at the girl. 'Hey, d'you want me to examine you today ?' He asked in a funny voice.
'No, sorry,' she answered moodily. 'In fact, I'm quite in a hurry you see. So Phoenix, let's go back home. I really have to practice doing this new trick with the pants you bought me last week'. She was bouncing on her feet once again.
'Yeah,' said Phoenix. 'Let's go. I was on my way to the office. I have to take care of my special mission after all. Dr Hotti, will you accompany us to the lobby ?'
And they left, leaving Chance all alone in the room. Rain was quietly falling outside, and he could hear the soft sound it made when touching the leaves of the tree. That's when Chance realized. Realized how sad he was. Realized how guilty, how ashamed he felt. He realized how lonely he was. All alone, in this silent and so cold room.