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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Suputri kuladeepakah.

Gender: Female

Location: In the clouds.

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Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

Posts: 88

Spoiler: To HeroMan66475
Quote:
except that one was calm enough to send a 9 year old to death and the guy who shamed him and the mutiple people who he sentenced to death and he got cheif prosevutor in a sort time.....GASPEN IS SO HATEBLE! THANK YOU TV TROPES!!!


Ugh, can't believe he did all of that, and that too in a country with a law like the Defense Culpability Act.
TV Tropes told you that?

Quote:
your insights will be gladly appealed with rayfa.


... I hope they don't challenge her insights...

Quote:
And here you shall....except it's the theme for his kids that appear in New Danganronpa V3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WlnTyOR1tY


That's... epic. How'd Monokuma get those kids though?

Quote:
the hell?


Um... we are talking about Phoenix Drive, aren't we?

Quote:
exactly. Can't say for the character himself, his actions in chapters 1-4 is fucked up, especially in chapter 2 where he messed a crime scene to make it look like a serial killer did it, and doing that would implement toko as the killer...yeah.


Okay, this just gets more and more messed-up. Really, what in the world? Is Toko that bad or something, or did he just not know the consequences of his actions?

Quote:
not exactly, he's calm and collected but he can get angry and annoyed.


Oh, so he's never reached the level of absolute rage? Okay then.(still reminds me of Sasuke a lot)

Quote:
yeah, i made a rant in the last page about kaisai stormdog....i the in-character-ness is my biggest issue, i mean....wtf!?


Yeah, I remember reading that. Twisting characters just for the sake of a pairing is not right. And it's not worth it.

Quote:
a moana refrence you didn't get.


Oh... :edgey: haven't watched Moana yet...




Spoiler: To SC
Quote:
Kristoph gave me the quote saying that. From prison. He can't send letters anymore but....he did for me. Yeah.


Oh, yes. :franny: And which guard or prison warden can confirm that?

Quote:
Present it.


If that's what you want...

Quote:
Man oh man,you may have thought some of the earlier stuff was bad,but here's some more purposefully bad stuff. It all started in the PW dreams thread where fellow user Brammimond described a dream they had:

[Followed by a huge quote that is not required]

Which I then responded to with a joke post about the fan fictions that could arise from this. But then they asked me to write one,featuring some other characters. So I present to you,under the pseudonym toomuchbathroomcorn2009...


It was good I had a backup. :no-no: Don't you know tampering with evidence is a crime, SC? It's the second time you're doing this.

Remember the aforementioned point while viewing...

Quote:
But..but...I'm actually starting to enjoy writing those now.


You are? That's shocking... But have you considered the fact that you will earn the hate of the sporkers for your contributions for trollfics?

Quote:
The sporking or the fic? Either way, it certainly is...interesting. Yes, that one.


The fic, of course! Your sporkings are always a delight (and I have a lot of things to say about this one, but I'll save them for the proper time).
Yes, interesting... of course it is...

Quote:
That is your punishment for all eternity. :karma:


Thank you.


Last edited by DarkAgea on Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Spoiler:
DarkAgea wrote:
Quote:
Kristoph gave me the quote saying that. From prison. He can't send letters anymore but....he did for me. Yeah.


Oh, yes. :franny: And which guard or prison warden can confirm that?


All of them

Quote:
Quote:
Present it.


If that's what you want...

Quote:
Man oh man,you may have thought some of the earlier stuff was bad,but here's some more purposefully bad stuff. It all started in the PW dreams thread where fellow user Brammimond described a dream they had:

[Followed by a huge quote that is not required]

Which I then responded to with a joke post about the fan fictions that could arise from this. But then they asked me to write one,featuring some other characters. So I present to you,under the pseudonym toomuchbathroomcorn2009...


It was good I had a backup. :no-no: Don't you know tampering with evidence is a crime, SC? It's the second time you're doing this.

Remember the aforementioned point while viewing...


That's what I should be saying to you. How do I know you didn't forge this? Do you at least have a picture to back this up?

Quote:
Quote:
But..but...I'm actually starting to enjoy writing those now.


You are? That's shocking... But have you considered the fact that you will earn the hate of the sporkers for your contributions for trollfics?


If anything, I've garnered (way too much) support for my first one. I doubt the second one will change much. I won't be sporking it though, since that feels like cheating.

Quote:
Quote:
The sporking or the fic? Either way, it certainly is...interesting. Yes, that one.


The fic, of course! Your sporkings are always a delight (and I have a lot of things to say about this one, but I'll save them for the proper time).


<3 Aw, you don't have to be so nice.

I'm surprised this hadn't been sporked already. It's just perfect.

Quote:
Quote:
That is your punishment for all eternity. :karma:


Thank you.

Image

You are welcome.

A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Last edited by Southern Corn on Fri Jun 02, 2017 5:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

Posts: 298

Spoiler:
Quote:
Ugh, can't believe he did all of that, and that too in a country with a law like the Defense Culpability Act.
TV Tropes told you that?


i found out how awful gaspen is on the nigthmare fuel page on SoJ....gaspen is one fucked up pro.

Quote:
... I hope they don't challenge her insights...


she'll be more than welcome.....or totally ennoyed...

Quote:
That's... epic. How'd Monokuma get those kids though?


monokuma is a robot.....yeah his kids are manufactured.

Quote:
Um... we are talking about Phoenix Drive, aren't we?


true dat.

Quote:
Okay, this just gets more and more messed-up. Really, what in the world? Is Toko that bad or something, or did he just not know the consequences of his actions?


uh no...he was obsessed with the serial killer "genocide jack" and made the crime scene to resemble that of a genocide jack murder.....and due to plot genocide jack is related to toko.....i am really refraining from spoilers....

Quote:
Oh, so he's never reached the level of absolute rage? Okay then.(still reminds me of Sasuke a lot)


ye- no. at least he warmed up after chapter 4.

Quote:
Yeah, I remember reading that. Twisting characters just for the sake of a pairing is not right. And it's not worth it.


yeah it's really bad, it's a shame she writes sowonderfully....bad because the way she twists the characters....even more damning is that she wrote stuff like the baby chronicles and blackmail at the age of SIXTEEN!!! I'M ONE YEAR YOUNGER THAN THAT NOW!! WTF!!!!
but it was stated on her bio she based her AA fics on things that happene in her own life....i sill dunno if that is an excuse or if it's just a bluff....i'm kinda triggered as a rabid klema fanboy myself....

Quote:
Oh... :edgey: haven't watched Moana yet...


i haven't but that song is spreading as fast as let it go...



Last edited by HeroMan66475 on Sat Jun 03, 2017 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Don't blink. Don't even blink.

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Posts: 24

Alright, I'm back. And I've returned with a spork-worthy fic that I will most likely spork in the near future: http://archiveofourown.org/works/707606 ... s/16083376

If anyone else wants it, let me know, since I'm not sure if I want this one yet.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Blinky wrote:
Alright, I'm back. And I've returned with a spork-worthy fic that I will most likely spork in the near future: http://archiveofourown.org/works/707606 ... s/16083376

If anyone else wants it, let me know, since I'm not sure if I want this one yet.

Oh, that. Sure. Fine with me. I'm interested to see how you spork it anyway.

@HeroMan The Bay Chronicles isn't that damning, really. Just really mediocre. Blackmail however is...ugh. Also, I may not be doing the last two chapters of the Baby's Chronicles after all.

Anybody have any terrible SoJ fics? I'm currently looking for some.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Last edited by Southern Corn on Tue May 23, 2017 5:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

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Quote:
@HeroMan The Bay Chronicles isn't that damning, really. Just really mediocre. Blackmail however is...ugh. Also, I may not be doing the last two chapters of the Baby's Chromicles after all.


huh, i see...

Quote:
Anybody have any terrible SoJ fics? I'm currently looking for some.

krazy khura'in adventures....yeah another barrylawn fic.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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Sorry, I should reword that. I'm looking for intentionally actually trying to be good SoJ fanfics.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

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Posts: 298

oh right....can't help you there then....
sometimes i find it hard to find some of those....they would be perfect spork material...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Suputri kuladeepakah.

Gender: Female

Location: In the clouds.

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

Posts: 88

Spoiler: To SC
Quote:
All of them


Including Marī Miwa?

Quote:
That's what I should be saying to you. How do I know you didn't forge this? Do you at least have a picture to back this up?


Forge? How absurd... I hope this will be enough proof?

~

Image

~

(I feel like Franziska, for some reason...)

Quote:
If anything, I've garnered (way too much) support for my first one. I doubt the second one will change much.


I don't mean the sporkers. I mean our dear AA sporkers who never get a break from the Sporking Theatre - I don't think they're going to provide much support for this.

Quote:
I won't be sporking it though, since that feels like cheating.


Thinking about it... It kinda would be, wouldn't it?

Quote:
<3 Aw, you don't have to be so nice.


:think: The truth is the truth. And we can't hide from it.

Quote:
I'm surprised this hadn't been sporked already. It's just perfect.


It's perfect... perfectly disgusting, that is. Fic!Phoenix makes me want to tear something with how OOC he is. I don't know whether to be glad there isn't a second chapter or to be sad (because the sporking is sure to be good).

Quote:
Image

You are welcome.


... I- ... *shakes head* Go on, enjoy in my suffering, won't you?




Spoiler: To HeroMan66475
Quote:
i found out how awful gaspen is on the nigthmare fuel page on SoJ....gaspen is one fucked up pro.


I just went and read that and... wow...

Quote:
she'll be more than welcome.....or totally ennoyed...


Let's wish for the former for my sake.

Quote:
monokuma is a robot.....yeah his kids are manufactured.


Oh. Did he make them by himself or...?

Quote:
true dat.


So let's leave it at that.

Quote:
uh no...he was obsessed with the serial killer "genocide jack" and made the crime scene to resemble that of a genocide jack murder.....and due to plot genocide jack is related to toko.....i am really refraining from spoilers....


... He's obsessed with a serial killer, and goes so far to make a crime scene resemble that? Are there any more messed-up surprises left? (Of course there are - why am I even asking?) Thanks for the refrain!

Quote:
ye- no. at least he warmed up after chapter 4.


Does this sporking take place before or after chapter 4?

Quote:
yeah it's really bad, it's a shame she writes sowonderfully....bad because the way she twists the characters....even more damning is that she wrote stuff like the baby chronicles and blackmail at the age of SIXTEEN!!! I'M ONE YEAR YOUNGER THAN THAT NOW!! WTF!!!!
but it was stated on her bio she based her AA fics on things that happene in her own life....i sill dunno if that is an excuse or if it's just a bluff....i'm kinda triggered as a rabid klema fanboy myself....


She does write okay, barring mistakes found here and there, but the OOCness is tough to handle (all the points you mentioned before). She wrote Blackmail at sixteen? Oh gods... That's just... messed-up, for the lack of a better word.
And *goes and reads FFN profile* she states:

"I tend to write all kinds of things, based on my real life (such as my Ace Attorney fanfiction Reasons Why) to weird half baked lucid dreams, mockeries of modern media and romantic fluff."

Which... makes it better, I guess?

Also, Klema is your OTP?

Quote:
i haven't but that song is spreading as fast as let it go...


It is? I must be really isolated if it's known that much and I haven't even heard of it. Although I learnt about Let it Go from my sibling and friends, so...


Last edited by DarkAgea on Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Spoiler:
DarkAgea wrote:
Quote:
All of them


Including Marī Miwa?

She's in prison now. As a prisoner.

Quote:
Quote:
That's what I should be saying to you. How do I know you didn't forge this? Do you at least have a picture to back this up?


Forge? How absurd... I hope this will be enough proof?

~

poop.jpeg

~

(I feel like Franziska, for some reason...)


?

Jokes aside, this evidence is forged. The name on the quote was added after I changed the last part to indicate I wasn't toomuchbathroomcorn2009! Therefore, you edited it to-

Shoot. Nice trap there.

Quote:
Quote:
If anything, I've garnered (way too much) support for my first one. I doubt the second one will change much.


I don't mean the sporkers. I mean our dear AA sporkers who never get a break from the Sporking Theatre - I don't think they're going to provide much support for this.


You really think they initially supported mayo's rattelsnek advuntre? Not much is going to change here.

Quote:
Quote:
I won't be sporking it though, since that feels like cheating.


Thinking about it... It kinda would be, wouldn't it?


The reason I originally sporked mayo's rattelsnek advuntre was due to a lot of anger and contempt directed towards myself (basically self derision) and also to try my hand at sporking. If I were to write a sequel, I wouldn't want to do the same thing.

Maybe YOU could spork it?

Quote:
Quote:
<3 Aw, you don't have to be so nice.


:think: The truth is the truth. And we can't hide from it.


:acro:

Quote:
Quote:
I'm surprised this hadn't been sporked already. It's just perfect.


It's perfect... perfectly disgusting, that is. Fic!Phoenix makes me want to tear something with how OOC he is. I don't know whether to be glad there isn't a second chapter or to be sad (because the sporking is sure to be good).


The latter, because it was a goldmine. I hope to see Phoenix turn Angelica 21 suddenly and marry her. Or maybe skip the first step since the author doesn't seem to care for that.

Quote:
Quote:
Image

You are welcome.


... I- ... *shakes head* Go on, enjoy in my suffering, won't you?


To quote Dingling Meanpaws, 'GO INTO DESPAIRRR!'

A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore


Last edited by Southern Corn on Fri Jun 02, 2017 5:58 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

Posts: 298

Spoiler:
Quote:
I just went and read that and... wow...


yeah.....ikr, this is why we must see Winston come back and be a good boi.

Quote:
Let's wish for the former for my sake.


well she is called her "benevolence". except she doesn't live up to that title much

Quote:
Oh. Did he make them by himself or...?


if i tell you it might be spoilers for v3 (btw i don't know exactly how he got those kids myself....i once intentionally looked up spoilers for new danganronpa v3 and i have mixed feelings on the plot twist....so i'm also assuming that could be how we got the monokuma kids)

Quote:
... He's obsessed with a serial killer, and goes so far to make a crime scene resemble that? Are there any more messed-up surprises left? (Of course there are - why am I even asking?) Thanks for the refrain!


yeah there are a LOT of messed up surprises in DR.
also....he likes genocide jack as much as toko.....so basically he doesn't like them both.....i can't go too much into details.....also i thought i would just clarify that up......but i won't clarify jack himself (>HIMself) yeah....that's a huge spoiler in chapter 2.

Quote:
Does this sporking take place before or after chapter 4?


technically yes.....the sporking takes place after danganronpa 2, that's why Nagito is here!
also....i was thinking of making my own "heromaniverse" in the sporking community, like make my own realm of sproking, that way i can tinker with the spavce time continuom with sal manella's elite haxor powers and make monokuma the management in my sporking of "miscarriage of justice" (which i will talk more about when i get to that quote) and i kinda want to make monokuma the management in AA non crossover sporking myself...."phoenix wright hecking dies" is the only bad AA and DR crossover fic out there....

Quote:
She does write okay, barring mistakes found here and there, but the OOCness is tough to handle (all the points you mentioned before). She wrote Blackmail at sixteen? Oh gods... That's just... messed-up, for the lack of a better word.
And *goes and reads FFN profile* she states:

"I tend to write all kinds of things, based on my real life (such as my Ace Attorney fanfiction Reasons Why) to weird half baked lucid dreams, mockeries of modern media and romantic fluff."

Which... makes it better, I guess?


yeah in a way...it IS messed up.
and the OOCnes....ugh. but i can't help but feel jealouse for not being as commited on writing my own fanfics and to do it so vividly....

Quote:
Also, Klema is your OTP?


yeah it is....is there a problem? :larry:
also Kaisa just...ugh her "miscarriage of justice" fic was labelled as klema, but i predicted as such (and true) that it was going to be empollo....whoopdeedoo....i was (w)right.....
but at least that fic makes klavier more humane than the usual kaisa fic....he even adopted a box of kittens and puppies!

Quote:
It is? I must be really isolated if it's known that much and I haven't even heard of it. Although I learnt about Let it Go from my sibling and friends, so...


i sometimes think that myself....my own brother is why i got into jojo, RVB and RWBY.
we leanr things from our younger siblings even thohgh they cna be a bunch of assholes that avoid you like the plau
ge....


Last edited by HeroMan66475 on Sat Jun 03, 2017 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Suputri kuladeepakah.

Gender: Female

Location: In the clouds.

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

Posts: 88

Spoiler: To SC
Quote:
She's in prison now. As a prisoner.


I know. But I couldn't think of any other prison wardens.

Quote:
Jokes aside, this evidence is forged. The name on the quote was added


Clever. Since you found me out, let me admit I do have text evidence for this, but pictorial was a bit difficult. Much like the Ace of Spades, now I think of it... seeing that-

Quote:
after I changed the last part to indicate I wasn't toomuchbathroomcorn2009! Therefore, you edited it to-


-this evidence did manage to point out the truth in the end.

Quote:
Shoot. Nice trap there.


Image

Thank you.

Quote:
You really think they initially supported mayo's rattelsnek advuntre? Not much is going to change here.


Of course not, but your name has the chance to become the next barrylawn or something. Imagine the case then... the sporkers learning to be on guard whenever toomuchbathroomcorn2009's fics appear in the theatre...

Quote:
The reason I originally sporked mayo's rattelsnek advuntre was due to a lot of anger and contempt directed towards myself (basically self derision) and also to try my hand at sporking. If I were to write a sequel, I wouldn't want to do the same thing.


... That's- :frannycry: (For your first try [it is, right?], it was a good trollfic except for the constant misspelling.)
But at least you did your first sporking with that, and now you have seven! So it was like your stepping stone or something, I suppose.
You have plot plans for a sequel? (Because it really sounds like you're considering it...) Going by the ending of MRA, I believe Edgeworth will be involved, and so will Phoenix.

Quote:
Maybe YOU could spork it?


I'm holding back on doing a spork until I'm certain I can get the characters done properly, which will take quite a long time since I'm still a bit afraid of going OOC...
I've actually had my eye on a crossover so that I can bring another character that I'm far more comfortable with writing - it's alright if the fic isn't exactly a horrible one, right?

Quote:
The latter, because it was a goldmine. I hope to see Phoenix turn Angelica 21 suddenly and marry her. Or maybe skip the first step since the author doesn't seem to care for that.


About that 21 thing, just how did this author manage to screw up so bad? That too in one real short chapter. Just- *sighs*
True that, but perhaps they'll get married in the courtroom itself, with how fast the romance is progressing.

Quote:
To quote Dingling Meanpaws, 'GO INTO DESPAIRRR!'


Sorry... but Dingling who? What?
Also, are you trying to turn this into a reflection of DR?




Spoiler: To HeroMan66475
(Is there any reason behind '66475' or did you just choose it at random? Just curious.)

Quote:
yeah.....ikr, this is why we must see Winston come back and be a good boi.


And after the trial, be immediately forgotten by everyone.
(I had to say that...)

Quote:
well she is called her "benevolence". except she doesn't live up to that title much


Exactly why I'm hoping she'll be benevolent in this case. May our insights coincide.

Quote:
if i tell you it might be spoilers for v3 (btw i don't know exactly how he got those kids myself....i once intentionally looked up spoilers for new danganronpa v3 and i have mixed feelings on the plot twist....so i'm also assuming that could be how we got the monokuma kids)


Oh, thanks again for non-spoilering!
It does seem like there's an interesting story behind his five (five, right?) children. Though from what I've seen of Monokuma, I hope they inherit at least something from him.

Quote:
yeah there are a LOT of messed up surprises in DR.
also....he likes genocide jack as much as toko.....so basically he doesn't like them both.....i can't go too much into details.....also i thought i would just clarify that up......but i won't clarify jack himself (>HIMself) yeah....that's a huge spoiler in chapter 2.


I knew it.
Alright then. I suppose I'll just have to find out everything through actually playing the game. Like I should be...

Quote:
technically yes.....the sporking takes place after danganronpa 2, that's why Nagito is here!


Does that mean 'before' or 'after'? Or... is each game considered a chapter?

Quote:
also....i was thinking of making my own "heromaniverse" in the sporking community, like make my own realm of sproking, that way i can tinker with the spavce time continuom with sal manella's elite haxor powers and make monokuma the management in my sporking of "miscarriage of justice" (which i will talk more about when i get to that quote) and i kinda want to make monokuma the management in AA non crossover sporking myself...."phoenix wright hecking dies" is the only bad AA and DR crossover fic out there....


Even if you make your own universe, I don't think you could use Monokuma as the management outright, considering the rules given in the beginning.
Most of them are kinda lax for the theatre, but Rule 6* states it's better to avoid it.

*To quote: "Related to this, please use only AA characters as sporkers, unless the fic is a crossover. This rule is also effective for Professor Layton characters, despite the existence of the crossover game."

Though I suppose you could bring Monokuma and just not have him make DR references in non-DR fic sporkings... if that made any sense at all. And how would Monokuma know more about the life of the AA characters? You could include a moment where the Management hits off well with Monokuma and explains stuff to him while handing over the reins.
(I've no clue; I'm just typing what comes to mind at the moment.)

Quote:
yeah in a way...it IS messed up.
and the OOCnes....ugh. but i can't help but feel jealouse for not being as commited on writing my own fanfics and to do it so vividly....


Nowadays, everything seems messed up.
Practice makes perfect! If you keep writing, you're sure to improve. I know I did when I wrote fanfiction.

Quote:
yeah it is....is there a problem? :larry:
also Kaisa just...ugh her "miscarriage of justice" fic was labelled as klema, but i predicted as such (and true) that it was going to be empollo....whoopdeedoo....i was (w)right.....
but at least that fic makes klavier more humane than the usual kaisa fic....he even adopted a box of kittens and puppies!


No problem at all. Just clarifying!
I checked out that fic. How Kaisa could do that is beyond me. To wright about your OTP (with OOCness) is one thing, but it's another to completely lie about your fic.
I didn't think it was possible - Klavier's actually a human, rather than a monster. Colour me surprised.

Quote:
i sometimes think that myself....my own brother is why i got into jojo, RVB and RWBY.
we leanr things from our younger siblings even thohgh they cna be a bunch of assholes that avoid you like the plauge....


*nervously laughs* That... was my elder sibling who introduced me to lots of stuff (including Naruto and a ton of songs). I'm the younger one by about five years...


Last edited by DarkAgea on Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Spoiler:
DarkAgea wrote:
Quote:
Jokes aside, this evidence is forged. The name on the quote was added


Clever. Since you found me out, let me admit I do have text evidence for this, but pictorial was a bit difficult. Much like the Ace of Spades, now I think of it... seeing that-

Quote:
after I changed the last part to indicate I wasn't toomuchbathroomcorn2009! Therefore, you edited it to-


-this evidence did manage to point out the truth in the end.

Quote:
Shoot. Nice trap there.


Image

Thank you.


Well, I guess we did both forge evidence, so it's all good now. :maya:

Quote:
Quote:
You really think they initially supported mayo's rattelsnek advuntre? Not much is going to change here.


Of course not, but your name has the chance to become the next barrylawn or something. Imagine the case then... the sporkers learning to be on guard whenever toomuchbathroomcorn2009's fics appear in the theatre...


Heh heh heh heh heh heh....Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOOOHHOHOHOHOOOOHHHOOOOOOHIHHEHEEHHEEEEEEEEEEHHHAAHAHAH yes I guess they would.

Quote:
Quote:
The reason I originally sporked mayo's rattelsnek advuntre was due to a lot of anger and contempt directed towards myself (basically self derision) and also to try my hand at sporking. If I were to write a sequel, I wouldn't want to do the same thing.


... That's- :frannycry: (For your first try [it is, right?], it was a good trollfic except for the constant misspelling.)
But at least you did your first sporking with that, and now you have seven! So it was like your stepping stone or something, I suppose.

Really, it was harder than you think to come up with all those constant misspellings. The Sporking itself I feel is rather mediocre. I prefer Cowboy Up to it myself.

Quote:
You have plot plans for a sequel? (Because it really sounds like you're considering it...) Going by the ending of MRA, I believe Edgeworth will be involved, and so will Phoenix.


No, I didn't. The fic was supposed to be a standalone one-off trollfic. But I do have some ideas in my mind. Maybe an OC or two? Heh.

Quote:
Quote:
Maybe YOU could spork it?


I'm holding back on doing a spork until I'm certain I can get the characters done properly, which will take quite a long time since I'm still a bit afraid of going OOC...
I've actually had my eye on a crossover so that I can bring another character that I'm far more comfortable with writing - it's alright if the fic isn't exactly a horrible one, right?


I'm writing one now with a character I haven't written before, so it's an exciting experience, ya feel me?

The fic doesn't have to be necessarily horrible, but it should at the very least have some...'sporkable' moments. It's a bit hard to explain, but the important part is there has to be quite a few moments where the characters can make fun of what's playing out in front of them. You can still cut out the boring parts, but it has to be a certain length. That's my advice, anyway.

Quote:
Quote:
To quote Dingling Meanpaws, 'GO INTO DESPAIRRR!'


Sorry... but Dingling who? What?
Also, are you trying to turn this into a reflection of DR?


Sorry, I meant Dangling Grandpas. The one with the weird bear who's pretty much Zero III from VLR.

Also, have you seen barrylawn's new fic? It is quite an interesting one. The mystery is truly well woven as well, and the plot twists are unexpected but still make sense in hindsight. Another example of barrylawn's genius works.

Also, new sporking coming either today or tomorrow! I have some stuff to do now and also a movie to watch, but I can definitely say that it's started production. Keep an eye out. :gant:

A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore


Last edited by Southern Corn on Fri Jun 02, 2017 5:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

Posts: 298

Spoiler:
Quote:
(Is there any reason behind '66475' or did you just choose it at random? Just curious.)


it had a good ring to it...and i thought it would just be cool.
calling myslef just "heroman" doesn't feel right to say, the "66475" makes it a bit better in my eyes.

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And after the trial, be immediately forgotten by everyone.
(I had to say that...)


sadly that is Payne's fate.....curse asougi for cursing the payne lineage...

Quote:
Exactly why I'm hoping she'll be benevolent in this case. May our insights coincide.


may the holy mother be with you on this one...

Quote:
Oh, thanks again for non-spoilering!
It does seem like there's an interesting story behind his five (five, right?) children. Though from what I've seen of Monokuma, I hope they inherit at least something from him.


well they might have, but from what i can tell they have their owbn unique personalities....

Quote:
I knew it.
Alright then. I suppose I'll just have to find out everything through actually playing the game. Like I should be...


yeah you should...

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Does that mean 'before' or 'after'? Or... is each game considered a chapter?


um...each danganronpa game have a prolougue and 6 chapters, basically consider them like the cases in AA.

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Even if you make your own universe, I don't think you could use Monokuma as the management outright, considering the rules given in the beginning.
Most of them are kinda lax for the theatre, but Rule 6* states it's better to avoid it.

*To quote: "Related to this, please use only AA characters as sporkers, unless the fic is a crossover. This rule is also effective for Professor Layton characters, despite the existence of the crossover game."

Though I suppose you could bring Monokuma and just not have him make DR references in non-DR fic sporkings... if that made any sense at all. And how would Monokuma know more about the life of the AA characters? You could include a moment where the Management hits off well with Monokuma and explains stuff to him while handing over the reins.
(I've no clue; I'm just typing what comes to mind at the moment.)


well monokuma is known to have dirty on literally EVERYBODY.....but i still think i might use lines and scenes extracted straight from the games (IE some of the scenes in my sporking like "Cause it's a game!" and "You think I have the nice-" no i'm not saying that in this situation....")

Quote:
Nowadays, everything seems messed up.
Practice makes perfect! If you keep writing, you're sure to improve. I know I did when I wrote fanfiction.


yeah true. But since i'm moving my focus to my lifeling dream of youtubing....i shamefully don't have enough time....and there's fics i really want to complete....and maybe make....

Quote:
No problem at all. Just clarifying!
I checked out that fic. How Kaisa could do that is beyond me. To wright about your OTP (with OOCness) is one thing, but it's another to completely lie about your fic.
I didn't think it was possible - Klavier's actually a human, rather than a monster. Colour me surprised.


well it wasn't a COMPLETE lie at least.....unfortunatley even though the klema was short lived...there was emapollo all the way through.....
and klavier only became more human in the chapter he adopted the puppies and kittens onwards....
but at least he wasn't a complete ass......but he was still....portrayed pretty badly....i cannot wait until i can rip this fic a new......okay that feels WAY too harsh than it needed to be...

Quote:
*nervously laughs* That... was my elder sibling who introduced me to lots of stuff (including Naruto and a ton of songs). I'm the younger one by about five years...


wow really? I'm older than my brother by a year or two...but he's a big ass though...



Last edited by HeroMan66475 on Sat Jun 03, 2017 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Might as well finish this off. It's the final part of the Baby Chronicles. I had to scrap the initial ideas I had, sadly, but I just want this off my list already.

For these last two chapters, however, I'm giving it a different rating.

Rating: :sahwit:

Really, these last two chapters aren't even that bad. There are still the occasional grammar mistakes and OOCness, but these are the most harmless of the group. The author even did some research for these two. Honestly, I'm just sporking these for completion's sake.

Now, the Sporkers! Keep in mind that they don't know why they're here yet, or what for. Heh heh. From the SoJ era, I introduce to you...!

:phoenix: - "I just arrived from Khura'in again, and what do I get? An 'invitation' from the Management."

:apollo: - "Alright, so maybe there is something more stressful than working so many cases simultaneously in Khura'in..."

:athena: - "Qu'est-ce que c'est? Are my services required again?"

:scientific: - "Now that I'm a forensic scientist, nothing shall deter me! Bring it on, Management!"

:edgeworth: - "I have rather important things to do, you know. Keep this short."

Spoiler:
[We start off once more at the Sporking Theatre, where our lovely sporkers are still blissfully unaware of why they have been brought here today.]

Phoenix: So is there a particular reason we're here, then?

Speakers: The Management requests that none of the sporkers comment on the descriptive narration.

Apollo: Well, whatever. It better be a good reason, seeing as how I've been teleported all the way from Khura'in.

Athena: What?! How'd they do that, Apollo?

Apollo: They have a special teleporting machine just to bring people from anywhere, any time.

Athena: Any time? ...Does that mean I can see my mother once more?

Everyone: ...

Speakers: ...Um, if we find a fic that requires her presence, we'll let you know.

Athena: Gracias! I knew you guys still had a heart in you!

Edgeworth: Then can you also permit us to leave?

Speakers: Nice try. Now, sit in your seats like good sporkers.

Ema: What're we sporking today?

Speakers: Sit. Down. Now.

Phoenix: Alright, alright. We heard you.

[And thus all the sporkers proceed to sir down on their seats. However, as they do, cuffs come up from the handles of their seats, constricting them to the seats. The only exception is Athena, who for some reason still remains in her seat anyway.]

Apollo: Hey! What's this?!

Edgeworth: Nggh! I can't seem to get out. Not these things again!

Ema: Damn. Scientifically speaking, I don't think these are manually removable.

Phoenix: Athena! What are you doing? Help us!

Athena: I-I...what?!

Speakers: The Management requests that Athena Cykes not move from her seat, lest our deal is broken.

Athena: Y-you mean?

Speakers: You won't get to see your mother ever again.

Athena: ...

Speakers: Good. Either way, you won't be able to help your friends. Those cuffs will stay on until either I say so, or we have a blackout. Those things are powered to stay on, you see. So no funny business, eh?

Apollo: Oh, no! Athena! Do something!

Athena: ...

Speakers: What? You're going to tell her to abandon all hope of ever seeing her mother ever again? And for what, cuffs that won't budge? Heh heh.

Edgeworth: Management, you've taken a great deal of caution to make sure we can't leave. Why is that?

Speakers: Simple. Because of what you're sporking today.

Ema: Which is?

Speakers: You know, it's been two years now.

Apollo: Two years? Since what?

Phoenix: ...Oh, no. I didn't think you'd-

Speakers: We never forget promises, Mr. Wright. Your time is up. Today, you shall be sporking the final two chapters of the Baby Chronicles.

Edgeworth: NGHOOOOOOOOOOGGNNHHGGGHH! penalty (Just that alone took away three fourths of my truth bar...)

Apollo, Ema, and Phoenix: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Athena: The what? Sounds like a cute name to me.

Speakers: I agree. I don't know why you're making such a big fuss about it.

Apollo: (Coming from the same guy who handcuffed us to make sure we stay here? Still, this is bad.) I thought we were done with this already!

Speakers: We said Mr. Wright and 'a few others' would come for this part. I stuck true to my word.

Edgeworth: What are you talking about?! The only people you didn't bring back now are Lana Skye and Trucy Wright!

Speakers: And Klavier. And Lang. And Kay.

Phoenix: They weren't actually sporkers!

Speakers: Stop being so semantic. Oh, wait. You're a lawyer. You can't do that.

Phoenix: (Is that really the best they could come up with?)

Athena: I'm sure this won't be that bad, Mr. Wright. If you want, we can have a therapy session after this.

Phoenix: ...Sure. Why not.

Speakers: Enough chattering already. Roll the stupid thing!

Quote:
Apollo and Ema: The Baby Chronicles


Athena: *gasp* Congrats, you two! How come you didn't inform me earlier?

Apollo: This is fiction, Athena.

Ema: I still can't believe we're actually doing this right now.

Edgeworth: sigh

Quote:
Chapter 9: six months old: Ema has a problem


Athena: No way! Ema is way older than that!

Phoenix: They're talking about the babies fic-Apollo and fic-Ema had in the previous chapter. Triplets, to be exact.

Edgeworth: Nine chapters in and I still have made no appearance in this fic.

Speakers: Oh, about that...you never do.

Edgeworth: Then why am I here?!

Speakers: You're the Spork Bitch, that's why.

Edgeworth: (In other words, they just like to torture me.)

Quote:
A/N so sorry for putting this story on Hiatus and unfortunately I did lose a large number of my plans and only managed to scrounge a single plan for a much later chapter so for now I'll be winging it.


Athena: Ach nein! Did I miss the chapters where the babies were one month old, and then two, and then three, then four and five?

Ema: Scientifically speaking, no. This is the first chapter we've seen since fic-me gave birth.

Athena: How is that scientific?!

Apollo: Ah, yeah. I forgot that you don't know Ema very well. I'll explain when we come back.

Edgeworth: Dear God. So the previous chapters were made with an actual solid script and general plan? If that's the case, then I do not want to know what the author 'winging it' looks like.

Quote:
Ok, so since I'm now back in true epic fashion, I have decided I will be researching a few elements from this story, such as the info on postnatal depression – using information from the Health Service website we have here in the UK, so hopefully it will be reliable.

And as part of the fact I am grovelling etc. for people to forgive me, and the fact I have far too much time on my hand I shall be updating each story at least once a week.


Phoenix: At least they're doing research now.

Edgeworth: Why are we spending so much time on this author's note anyway?

Speakers: You got us.

Quote:
Six months had flown by almost as if life had been a video and been set to fast forward. The babies had grown quickly, Cadence however was smaller than her brothers and this bothered Ema greatly.


Athena: Cadence?

Ema: That was the girl, I believe. The other two were Aaron and Xavier.

Apollo: If the other two grew rather quickly, doesn't that make Cadence the only one growing at a normal rate? I don't see why fic-Ema is so bothered by this.

Edgeworth: The author seems to have confused a comma for a period. They are not the same, however.

[There's some more filler dialogue about how Ema is rather cranky and irritable. She experiences what others have deemed 'Baby Blues'.]

Athena: Sheesh. Someone really needs a therapy session.

Phoenix: Yeah, really. If only she knew you existed.

Ema: Baby Blues? Really.

Quote:
"...But what if it doesn't stop?" Ema said to the empty room around her. "I still feel those things, I just hide them to make it easier on the others." She sighed. "I should probably tell Apollo, maybe he'd help me." She glanced up at the clock, 4 pm, nearly time for her wonderful man to return home.

-x-x-


Ema: And there's the first line break. Unsurprisingly soon after the chapter started.

Athena: Is that a thing for this author?

Ema: Oh, you have no idea.

Edgeworth: At least the author hasn't forgotten any commas yet.

Quote:
"She's not better Lana." Apollo began as soon as the older, maturer of the Skye sisters answered the phone.


Edgeworth: ...I spoke too soon.

Phoenix: So Ema's a worse Lana now?

Athena: Lana? That your sister, Ema?

Ema: Yeah. Former Chief Prosecutor, you know.

Athena: What?! So she's your predecessor, Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: One of them, yes.

Quote:
"Normal people decide to say hello first, on the off-chance my assistant may have answered the phone first." She took a sip of her only cup of coffee she permitted herself a day, placed it on the desk and prayed it didn't go cold before this conversation was over. "What do you expect me to do hun? I'm no psychiatrist. Besides, she looks better."


Athena: Assistant? What does your sister do for a living, Ema?

Ema: Well, I don't know for sure. But in another one of this author's fics, she somehow was the Chief Prosecutor again.

Edgeworth: She loooks better? Odd choice of words there. How does she know she looks better at this point of time in the fic, exactly?

Apollo: Pretty pretentious on fic-Lana's part.

Quote:
"To the outside world yes, but...I know she's lying." He twisted his bracelet on his arm slightly. "I react to her all the time."

"Is this your strange talent people have been telling me about? That you react to people's lies?"


Athena: Oh, yeah! That bracelet of yours!

Ema: Huh? What's this all about?

Apollo: Oh, right. Guess you've never really seen it in action.

Quote:
"Well, not quite. I react to the nervous twitches we do subconsciously." Apollo hoped that would be a good enough explanation. "Anyways, back to Ema."


Ema: What? I'm not going to just believe that! Don't give me that pseudoscientific bull-

Phoenix: Actually, there is a reason why this happens. You see, Apollo's bracelet is made of a special alloy that changes in size in response to body heat, allowing it to fit perfectly around the wearer's arm. When someone wearing it senses a nervous habit, they become slightly tense as well, causing minuscule muscle contractions that they wouldn't normally notice. But since the it's always a perfect fit, they can feel it tightening slightly when they become tense.

Ema: Oh. That's...actually quite interesting.

Athena: So that's how it works!

Apollo: H-how do you know this, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: ..Shadi Smith told me.

Apollo: ...You know, if you don't want to tell me, you can just say so.

Quote:
"Well, all I have to go on is that whole sister-bond stuff and I'm inclined to agree." Lana cheekily sipped down another mouthful of coffee, still quite hot, she noted this before continuing. "Maybe she has post natal depression? I had it, only not for this long."


Edgeworth: Postnatal is one word, author. The second sentence also runs on for far too long.

Quote:
"How did you know you had it? And it wasn't just that "Baby Blues" thingy?" Apollo asked.

"Well a friend of mine, who is a psychiatrist, diagnosed me with it."

"Where is this friend?"


Athena: Who's this friend anyway?

Ema: Dunno. They don't exist. Just an original character of the author's.

Quote:
"Across the state border unfortunately, she moved about a year ago." Lana went quiet for a moment. "She knows Ema quite well, I mean, me and her were good friends after our parents died, so I could always take Ema to see her, she'd soon know if anything was wrong."


Ema: Ah, nevermind. They're confusing her with the coroner my sister had been friends with. I stayed with her in Europe when I was studying.

Quote:
"But that means Ema going away? Right?"

"Well yes, but it wouldn't be for long. Tell you what, I'll chat with her, tell her she needs a vacation, take her to see my friend while she's there." Lana offered. "As long as you're ok with being with the kids on your own for a while."

-x-x-


Athena: Oui, Ema. I see. They definitely overuse their line breaks.

[While the Skye Sisters argue about Ema going on vacation, Apollo puts on some music, plays with the babies and tells them stories to block out the noise from outside.]

Apollo: Geez Ema, you certainly can scream- *ba-tonk* Ow! (She snackoo'd me.)

Phoenix: Heh.

Edgeworth: I really doubt that just putting music and telling stories would block out that much noise.

Speakers: Anyway, after a while...

Quote:
Ema had willingly agreed to go, convinced a break would be just what she needed. She'd also written out a list of things to do for the kids everyday while she was gone. "There's some baby formula stuff in the cupboard, follow the instructions and stuff and everything will be fine." She smiled a genuine smile, the first Apollo had seen in a while.

"I'll come collect you in the morning, we'll book into a nice hotel by the river, and we'll have a good time, and we can test how good a daddy Apollo is."


Athena: Ah, riverside hotels...

Edgeworth: (Reminds me of when I had to stay at the von Karma estate..)

Ema: Good times, those were. Ah, to be back to Europe again...

Athena: You've been there too? high fives

Ema: high fives

Apollo: (I feel left out of all this.)

Quote:
"Sure, I have no cases so I'll have plenty of time to be around the kids, makes a change for filing paperwork all the time"

-x-x-


Phoenix: Well, I'm sure Trucy won't let you get away with that. laughs

Athena: Does this author even know how our Agency functions? Mon deiu...

[Apollo is lonely for two paragraphs.]

Everyone: ...

Apollo: Wow. Really?

Athena: Now that's what I call filler.

Edgeworth: I'm a bit relieved that we skipped those two paragraphs.

Quote:
But he hoped when he saw her again, she'd be back to normal, and able to function as the mother he knew she could be


Edgeworth: And now the author has forgotten

Phoenix: Yeah! Periods are important

Speakers: The Management requests that Mr. Wright refrain from meta-jokes.

Quote:
Chapter 10: Six months: Ema's Return and the Cat


Athena: Whaaat?!

Edgeworth: This is it. The final chapter.

Ema: We're still stuck at six months though.

Apollo: And what's this about a cat?

Phoenix: Ssh, stop talking so we can get on with this already.

Quote:
Immediately when she returned home, she dumped her suitcase and all of her bags at the door and rushed to greet Apollo and her children. She held the two boys and Apollo held Cadence and pulled Ema into a hug, the change in Ema's attitude towards her children had been almost instant. Apollo was more than just a little proud of his girlfriend.


Athena: Wait. You too aren't married?

Phoenix: Sssh. We don't want more of this stuff again.

Quote:
It had been two weeks of therapy for Ema, and a week of that was simply getting her to admit she had a problem, still, through talking she had managed to alleviate herself of her fears and her depression.


Athena: This is why you should all visit the Wright Anything Agency™ today! You can get some therapy...

Phoenix: Get some things fixed...

Apollo: Or in some rare cases, actually ask for some legal advice or even defense in court!

Ema: Whoa.

Edgeworth: Did you actually rehearse all that, Wright?

Athena: It was MY idea to add on the trademark!

Phoenix: I don't recall asking you to word your part that way, Apollo...

Apollo: Yeah, well...I kinda miss my job, in a way. At least it doesn't involve yak milking...

Quote:
"Have they been trouble?" Ema asked as she kissed the two boys and then her daughter.

"Uh...no...no." Apollo smiled.

-x-x-


Athena, Apollo, and Phoenix: They've been trouble.

[Apollo types up some reports, but Cadence deletes them 'accidentally'.]

Apollo: Reports? Seems pretty vague to me. I'd say it was referring to some legalese paperwork, but I never really did get to type many of those at my time there.

Athena: You should really come back, Apollo. We all miss you.

Widget: She hates being a magician's assistant!

Athena: Widget! Mein gott!

Apollo: She's using you now, huh? Heh. Have fun with that.

Athena: It's really not that fun.

Apollo: Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine. You'll get used to it over time.

Athena: Grr..

Widget:〈(*´Д`*)〉

Quote:
Trucy had found it funny about Cadence deleting her father's work, so much so she managed to stick a sign over his computer saying "Bested by a baby" when she came to visit him two days later.


Phoenix: Speak of the devil!

Apollo: That's not very funny.

Athena: It's hilarious!

Quote:
She and Apollo had decided to take the babies out to the park for a picnic, since it was such a glorious day.

She had bought some chocolate brownies her and her dad had made at home, she had also made some sandwiches for her and Apollo and Apollo had bought all the stuff for the kids. Things were going fine until during the picnic Aaron and Xavier had decided to start picking at the grass and throwing it at each other.


Phoenix: Um, okay? It's not like the grass is really going to harm them.

Ema: There's a slight chance there might be bugs in or near them, scientifically.

Quote:
While it had left a mess everywhere and Apollo's clothes were covered in grass, leaking green onto the blue denim jeans and white shirt he had been wearing, there had been no injuries


Phoenix: That's what I thought.

Edgeworth: Leaking green is a strange description for a solid and living plant.

Athena: Grass is a living creature?

Apollo: I mean, it's a plant, technically.

Ema: Scientifically.

Quote:
and eve Xavier was giggling in delight.


Athena: Dios mío! How has Xavier suddenly become a fully grown female sheep?!

Apollo: They forgot the n, Athena. It's not that hard to comprehend.

Quote:
So, they decided to take the kids to a café and that was the most embarrassing experience Apollo had ever had. All three children had erupted into a chorus of crying mixed with giggling. Apollo, red faced, had managed to stop them and calm them down after what were easily the worse ten minutes since he had become a father.

-x-x-


Edgeworth: Why are they suddenly so emotional?

Athena: Babies can be weird like that.

Ema: Emotionally speaking, yes.

Quote:
As they climbed into bed that night, Ema cuddled against Apollo's chest, she began to giggle.


Athena: ...

Widget: Gross!

Quote:
"What?"

"They were little demons for you weren't they?"

"Yeah."

"God they're definitely your kids." She laughed. "You said you were a hassle growing up."

"H-hey!"


Apollo: How did she know that? I wasn't very...interested in discusssing my past. At least, until when Dhurke showed up that fateful day.

Ema: Understandable. MUNCH MUNCH chew chew chew...

Quote:
"I bet you weren't that-" she was cut off by the light snoring coming from Apollo. "You ass." She fell asleep soon after.


Apollo: Ha! I wish I could go to sleep that easily.

Edgeworth: Please don't say that word in my presence. shudder

Phoenix: Right. That one's hard to remove from your mind.

Quote:
The new day spelt a new problem, a problem being Ema's animal obsession. She had found a stray cat while Apollo was at work. He had seen this cat a few times, jumping across the balconies and assumed it to be a neighbour's cat. She had left food out on the balcony for the cat, obviously meaning it stuck around in the hope for more, and it had been out sunning itself, back pressed against the glass sliding doors that led to the balcony, until mid afternoon.


Athena: So this is the titular cat?

Ema: Apparently so.

Phoenix: That cat is living life on the edge, jumping across balconies like that.

Apollo: Why isn't Ema back to work yet at this point? I don't think the postnatal depression is really a problem for her anymore. We could hire someone else as a babysitter.

Phoenix: Like Trucy?

Apollo: ...Never mind.

Quote:
When Trucy was on her way home from school, she would often stop by to say hello to Ema and the babies. That afternoon was no exception, she dropped her bag by the door and kicked off her shoes and immediately rushed up to Xavier and Aaron, who were stacking blocks.


Athena: She should take off those muddy shoes first.

Widget: How unhygienic!

Quote:
"Hi Xavier, hi Aaron." Trucy declared loudly. The babies merely acknowledged her with a glance.


Edgeworth: What declaration is she making? I believe the correct phrase is 'greeted'.

Quote:
"What animal makes the sound moo?" Ema asked her daughter, who pointed to the picture of a cow in her book. "Well done Cadence."


Athena: Huh?

Ema: What?

Athena: Oh, nothing. It's just...I can't imagine you reading those kinds of books to your children.

Apollo: laughs Yeah, she'd probably read them some science related book.

Phoenix: Advanced Forensics; chapter one.

[Everybody has a good laugh, save Edgeworth.]

Quote:
When Trucy turned to face the two female occupants of the house, she happened to glance at the mound of fur sat at the bottom of the glass doors.


Athena: Whoa, the cat's shedding real fast.

Ema: I didn't know that was scientifically possible. At least, at this rate.

Quote:
"I didn't know you and Apollo bought a cat." Trucy asked as she plucked Cadence up from the couch and took her seat.

"We didn't. I think it's a stray, or a neighbour's cat." Ema replied.

"Well it seems pretty chilled on your balcony there." Trucy pointed out.


Athena: Wait, what?

Phoenix: I guess that mound of fur WAS the cat.

Edgeworth: What a bizzare description.

[Ema decides to ask the other occupants of the apartment they live in about the cat, but gets no such luck. After that, the scene ends]

Quote:
"What the hell is that thing?" Apollo asked shocked as Ema put the cat on the floor to give him a kiss.


Apollo: One, I know what a cat is. Two, I doubt the cat can kiss me from the floor.

Athena: Ooh, what's this? Are you a cat person, Apollo?

Widget: (^ω^)

Apollo: W-what?! Of course not! blushes

Quote:
"It's a cat, Apollo!" Trucy giggled.

"Get it away from the-" He was about to object to it being near the kids, until he saw Xavier petting it on the head.


Ema: I don't see the problem. Cats are rather docile, unless protecting their kittens. I doubt it'd mind the presence of the kids.

Apollo: There are exceptions, but I get your point.

Athena: How do you know that, Apollo? Are you gasp a crazy cat lady?!

Apollo: What the?! No! There's always an exception to something! (I don't like where this is going...)

[Xavier giggles with delight at the cat. Apollo and Ema are surprised.]

Quote:
"Wow...I've never seen him act like that." Ema smiled brightly at her boyfriend. Now both of them were relaxed.


Athena: You two aren't the best parents.

Apollo and Ema: Agreed.

Quote:
"That's so cool!" Trucy declared. The other two were now petting at the cat, it continued to purr in delight as three sets of tiny hands petted and tugged gently on his fur.


Athena: So far, the best thing I can say about this fic is that you two aren't out of character.

Apollo: It's debatable. I can't say they're exactly conserving the spirit of the games.

Speakers: ...

Apollo: Huh? (That's strange. How come..?)

Phoenix: (...They're not responding? Weird. I guess they're, um...)

Edgeworth: Management! Are you there?

Speakers: Huh? Oh, right. Stop breaking the fourth wall.

Athena: That was direct.

Speakers: ...

Apollo: (And now silence again.)

Phoenix: (What're they doing over there?)

[Apollo makes dinner and everybody just relaxes for a while.]

Quote:
Apollo was coming round to the idea of having the cat, although it had taken a lot of persuasion. A knock at the door stopped their conversation.

Ema opened the door to the young woman and her daughter that lived in apartment one.

"I found this note today. I have a feeling this is my daughter's cat, he went missing about three weeks ago." The woman handed Ema the note. "Is the cat here?"


Apollo: Oh, right. I guess these people are the cat's owners.

Quote:
"Apollo, come here for a sec." Apollo scooped the cat into his arms and bought it over.

"Churchill!" The little girl cried out, the cat reacted instantly and leapt down from his arms. "Oh thank you so much for finding him!"


Edgeworth: Churchill? What an odd name for a cat.

Phoenix: (Coming from a guy who named his dog 'Pess'.)

Quote:
"I'm so sorry for any trouble we've put you through, we've been looking for a new apartment, so we've not been spending too long at home. I think Churchill got a bit annoyed about the fact we weren't spending time with him."The woman explained. "I'm so sorry, you're the Justice family, right? You have kids too?"


Ema: You know, now that I think about it, Justice is an awfully well fitting surname for a lawyer.

Apollo: The same surname as my father, Jove.

Phoenix: (I still think 'Wright' is a better surname for a lawyer.)

[They make small talk.]

Quote:
"Sweetie, go back home ok, take Churchill with you." The little girl nodded and headed off down the hall. "Listen, I know this is rude of me to ask, but I'm worried Churchill may break free again during the day, he's good with dogs and things if you have any other pets...would you be willing to keep an eye on him during the day?"


Edgeworth: Is that what this was leading to?

Ema: Meh.

Quote:
"I can't say for sure, I mean, I'm working, so my girlfriend would be the one to ask?"

Ema had not hesitated to say yes, offering to take care of Churchill whenever she was needed.

"I'll bring some stuff with him in the morning, until then, have a good Friday evening." The woman smiled brightly.


Athena: What do you really need for a cat?

Apollo: Some cat food, a bowl for food, another for water, a sandbox, a scooper for feces, and some toys.

Athena: Whoa, you know your stuff, Polly! Are you sure-

Apollo: No I'm not! (I really don't want this to go any further.)

Athena: Fine. Whatever, then.

Widget: (~ω-)

Quote:
"Hey...Ema, maybe we should think about getting a pet of our own? I was thinking a full grown dog? It'd keep you company when the babies are asleep and if it keeps Xavier all happy and smiling."

"...Really?" Ema smiled.

"Sure, we'll look for one in the morning." Apollo kissed her forehead.


Phoenix: A full grown dog? That's a lot of responsibility.

[The lights come on.]

Athena: It's over now?

Edgeworth: Thank goodness.

Phoenix: It was better than I anticipated. Surprisingly not that bad, honestly.

Apollo: Yeah, well, that's nice and all, but these cuffs are still on.

Ema: Any help, Management?

Speakers: ...

Edgeworth: MANAGEMENT!

Speakers: Oh? Huh? It's over? Good. Sorry about that.

Phoenix: It's okay. Just remove these cuffs.

Speakers: Oh, no. I'm afraid I can't do that yet.

Apollo: Huh?

Athena: What?

Speakers: The deal's on, Ms. Cykes. I found a fic which we could use your mother for. A good number of them, actually. All one-offs.

Athena: What? That's nice, I guess.

Phoenix: But where could you get so many one-offs involving Athena's mo- ....Oh. Oh no.

Apollo: Wait a second. Don't tell me-

Speakers: All fresh from the Kink Meme.

Ema: WH-

Apollo: -HAA-

Phoenix: -AAAT-

Athena: THE-

Edgeworth: HELL?! What are you spewing?! Leave us be for today! We're done!

Speakers: Hmm, you know, now that I think about it, we haven't had a Kink Meme Special in a while.

Phoenix: STOP! STOP!

Ema: Anything but that!

Apollo: Yeah, that's enough! Let us go home!

Athena: The deal's off! No more of this!

Speakers: Too late. I've made my mind. Let's get this started, baby!

[And sadly, that is all we have to show for today. What will our poor sporkers have to endure now? Find out what happens....next time!]


Yes, that's all for today. Sorry for the cliffhanger. I think it's pretty obvious what's next on my list. Hope you enjoyed! Constructive criticism is appreciated. See you next time.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Last edited by Southern Corn on Sat Jun 03, 2017 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

Suputri kuladeepakah.

Gender: Female

Location: In the clouds.

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

Posts: 88

Spoiler: To SC
Quote:
Well, I guess we did both forge evidence, so it's all good now. :maya:


Yeah, it should be. :phoenix:

Quote:
Heh heh heh heh heh heh....Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOOOHHOHOHOHOOOOHHHOOOOOOHIHHEHEEHHEEEEEEEEEEHHHAAHAHAH yes I guess they would.


I believe an image of Calisto Yew wouldn't be out of place here.

Quote:
Really, it was harder than you think to come up with all those constant misspellings. The Sporking itself I feel is rather mediocre. I prefer Cowboy Up to it myself.


It was? Alright...
Mediocre, but for your first sporking, I'd say it's fine.

Quote:
No, I didn't. The fic was supposed to be a standalone one-off trollfic. But I do have some ideas in my mind. Maybe an OC or two? Heh.


I meant are you currently considering a sequel? ... which it seems like you are...
An OC? Oh my, I think I'm already dreading it.

Quote:
I'm writing one now with a character I haven't written before, so it's an exciting experience, ya feel me?


Athena?
Holding back comments on that till I reach that sporking.

Quote:
The fic doesn't have to be necessarily horrible, but it should at the very least have some...'sporkable' moments. It's a bit hard to explain, but the important part is there has to be quite a few moments where the characters can make fun of what's playing out in front of them. You can still cut out the boring parts, but it has to be a certain length. That's my advice, anyway.


Thank you! I'll try my best.
The fic is actually okay to read, but it felt like one I could take. But that sporking will take a long time in coming, I'm sure.

Quote:
Sorry, I meant Dangling Grandpas. The one with the weird bear who's pretty much Zero III from VLR.


Ah, Dangling Granpas. Apologies I didn't get it the first time... but I still managed to get it somehow.

Quote:
Also, have you seen barrylawn's new fic? It is quite an interesting one. The mystery is truly well woven as well, and the plot twists are unexpected but still make sense in hindsight. Another example of barrylawn's genius works.


*goes and reads it* Certainly quite... ingenious. I'm sure I've never seen such a plot before, with a resolution to the mystery with this twist.

Quote:
Also, new sporking coming either today or tomorrow! I have some stuff to do now and also a movie to watch, but I can definitely say that it's started production. Keep an eye out. :gant:


That sporking was faster than expected... But still nice to see!




Spoiler: To HeroMan66475
Quote:
calling myslef just "heroman" doesn't feel right to say, the "66475" makes it a bit better in my eyes.


It does sound kinda better with the number.

Quote:
sadly that is Payne's fate.....curse asougi for cursing the payne lineage...


The art of being forgotten has been passed down the Payne family line for generations!

(... Couldn't resist the urge...)

Quote:
may the holy mother be with you on this one...


May she indeed. Otherwise... ouch.

Quote:
well they might have, but from what i can tell they have their owbn unique personalities....


They can be unique, but I just wish they had that kind of... charm he has, even if it appears in different ways. (don't know how to explain that)

Quote:
yeah you should...


Yeah... :oops:

Quote:
um...each danganronpa game have a prolougue and 6 chapters, basically consider them like the cases in AA.


Oh, that makes more sense now. Thanks!

Quote:
well monokuma is known to have dirty on literally EVERYBODY.....but i still think i might use lines and scenes extracted straight from the games (IE some of the scenes in my sporking like "Cause it's a game!" and "You think I have the nice-" no i'm not saying that in this situation....")


That's completely okay. I meant more specific DR references, but those seem like stuff anyone outside of that could say.

Quote:
yeah true. But since i'm moving my focus to my lifeling dream of youtubing....i shamefully don't have enough time....and there's fics i really want to complete....and maybe make....


Oh. That's a quite difficult dream to fulfil...
You have ideas for any AA fics?

Quote:
well it wasn't a COMPLETE lie at least.....unfortunatley even though the klema was short lived...there was emapollo all the way through.....


Very short-lived, if I remember correctly.

Quote:
and klavier only became more human in the chapter he adopted the puppies and kittens onwards....


He actually did that? (I only read some of it... and thought you were sarcastic then...)

Quote:
but at least he wasn't a complete ass......but he was still....portrayed pretty badly....i cannot wait until i can rip this fic a new......okay that feels WAY too harsh than it needed to be...


Portrayed badly is right. You're sporking this fic, right?
That doesn't really sound that harsh. It's easy to understand, especially if you like Klavier...

Quote:
wow really? I'm older than my brother by a year or two...but he's a big ass though...


Yeah. My brother can be an ass at times, but he's extremely kind at others... keeps confusing me...


Last edited by DarkAgea on Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

Suputri kuladeepakah.

Gender: Female

Location: In the clouds.

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

Posts: 88

Spoiler: the search for the ass
Now since I've finally completed it-

Note: My review may be slightly biased by the fact that I was really excited to see this sporking ever since I read the fic, because Edgeworth was just so... *shakes head* Anyways, onwards to it!

First of all, I'd like to thank you a whole bunch for bringing in all of the sporkers. I was so glad to see all of them there!

Quote:
:wacky-edgy: - "Nngh! What type of title is that?!"
:nick-sweat: - "I doubt they're exactly referring to donkeys, Edgeworth."
:maya-thought: - "And by barrylawn, too? Talk about the icing on the cake, Nick. A cake made of pure donkey poop."
:gymshoe: - "Pfft! Ahahahaha! Look, Mr.Edgeworth, it's-"
:ka-whip: - "What?! What kind of foolishly foolish fool would foolishly make such a foolish fic with such a foolishly foolish title!?"

Epic. I loved the reactions... from the introduction itself...
And not to forget the other addition - Gerald! That was certainly a pleasant surprise.

Quote:
As(s) usual, it all starts in the sporking theatre, where our Sporkers are all seated.


Can't even lay off them for a moment, can you?

Quote:
Gumshoe: Um, sirs, I don't mean to interrupt, but...why is there a donkey tied to the seat at the end?

Donkey: Hee haw!

Edgeworth: sigh


Edgey's reaction is gold.

Really liked the whole conversation before the true sporking itself.

Quote:
Franziska: Scruffy! Do you wish to be here for years?! Stop nitpicking on every minor detail, or I will have to use my whip!

Phoenix: (Isn't that what you're doing?)


This whole part is again, done well.
I believe Phoenix's thought can be applied to both the whip and the nitpicking. Which is amazing.

Quote:
Maya: Who's this 'de man'? Is he some mysterious figure?


Every time I read this... :shelly:

Quote:
Maya: Oh, it's just you, Mr. Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: No, that is not me. That is a man by the name of Mr. Assworth, of whom I have no relation with. More importantly, why is Gumshoe asking him to do something about this person in Gourd Lake? As far as I know, Gourd Lake is a public place, and as such no one can be arrested for loitering there-

Phoenix: No, Edgeworth. It's not Gourd Lake, it's 'gard lake'. For all we know, that could be private property.

Edgeworth: Wright, you know was well as I do that the author meant to write Gou-

Phoenix: Then why do you insist that this 'Assworth' guy is a different person than you?

Edgeworth: T-that's...different.


I tried my best not to quote the whole bit, but I failed. I love how Phoenix did that to Edgeworth - it was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

(This little into the sporking, and I feel I'm running out of adjectives...)

Quote:
Franziska: Maybe it is you who is the ass, Scruffy! whip crack

Gumshoe: Yeeeoowwwwcchhh! I'm sorry, sir! I promise not to be an ass anymore!


Oh, Gumshoe...

Quote:
Phoenix: W-wh..?!

Edgeworth: WHAAAT?!

Gerald: HAW!

Maya: What do they expect to find from analysing that?!


They'll find shit from that.

Can't believe Franziska didn't react to that though. What was she doing/feeling then?

Quote:
Edgeworth: And also for being an 'ass', which as far as I know, is not a crime.

Franziska: It should very well be, Miles Edgeworth! The number of fools I have seen in this country is far too much!

Gumshoe: gulp


Now I can imagine Franziska throwing people into jail for 'foolishness'. I wonder who'll be left in the country then?

And to repeat: Oh, Gumshoe...

Quote:
Edgeworth: Fic-me referred to myself as an ass, but asked Mr.Grossberg if he was THE ass. Maybe they're two separate things. Either that, or the author is being inconsistent.


Edgeworth is putting so much thought into those four lines than I did for the whole fic. Wow.

Quote:
edgeworth went back to the crime scene when someone jumped on him


Now that I'm actually focusing on the fic, this mental image is really strange. Why did I even try thinking it...?

Quote:
Suddenly, before anyone can say a thing, a girl jumps down! And it's-

Edgeworth: Kay! What are you doing here?

Kay: Thought I heard someone say my name. Anyway, what're you watching? I think I'll have a sit down. Can you move a bit, Maya?


Kay's here? Yes!

Quote:
Kay: And none of you questioned it!?

Franziska: We're rather used to the management's foolishly foolish ideas by now.

Maya: It's actually kinda scary how accustomed we've become.


Wow, the sporkers have really grown a lot, now that I think of it. From Edgey and Nick nearly crying in Taste the Rainbow to both regularly sporking fics far worse...

Quote:
Edgeworth: Hmm, not that much. I only solved the murder of an Interpol agent, a kidnapping, the killing of a detective in my office, taking down the Yatagarasu and the leader of a smuggling ring, exposing a fake presidential assassination, revealing that the prison warden is a murderer, solving an eighteen year old case that my father worked on, arresting the PIC chairman for smuggling and killing, and then solving a real presidential assassination. How about you?

Maya: WHAAAA?! Tell me more, Mr.Edgeworth! Tell me your ways!

Edgeworth: smirk It's all a rather long story. If you want the finer details, ask Franziska-

Kay: Or me!

Gumshoe: Or me, pal!


Just, oh my gods. He did all of this in a few weeks' time, didn't he? Also, is there any particular order to the events except for those from AAI2?
Also also, why is Phoenix silent? Shouldn't he have something to say (or at least a reaction) for that?

Quote:
Kay: Ass...istance?

Franziska: Miles Edgeworth! Why are you blindly believing the defendant?! As the judge over there has just said, he could have easily lied to you!

Maya: Yeah, that's Nick's thing!

Everyone: ...

Phoenix: Why did you have to bring me into this?


Nothing to say- *quietly laughs*

Quote:
Kay: Whoa, she's going to kill you, Mr.Edgeworth?

Gumshoe: Seems a bit extreme to me, pal.

Phoenix: And also illegal.


And Phoenix is the only person who remembers that.

Quote:
Edgeworth: That....what?

Phoenix: What sort of logic is that? And why did she even say that in the first place?

Franziska: Hmph. Just the type of foolish logic I expected from you, Miles Edgeworth! whip crack

Edgeworth: Nghhooh!


Just the expected reaction. And we get an Edgey-noise in the actual sporking! Though to be honest, I kinda liked Edgey's logic at that moment...

Quote:
Phoenix: More importantly, why did Edgeworth go back there? His logic is that they didn't find much evidence there, so they're going to search it again?

Edgeworth: Reexamination of the crime scene is always crucial, Wright.


That's somewhat sound logic, right? Like, they didn't find much evidence at the crime scene when there should be some, and reexamination might bring hidden evidence to light. Though Edgeworth did counter it, so my words are completely pointless...

Quote:
Phoenix: Say what?

Quote:
and the results matched the evil PHOENIX WRIGHT


Phoenix: Say WHAT?!


Loved it. Especially with the others' reactions to it.

Quote:
Edgeworth: Cardboard badge?! (What has happened to the courts of this country?!)


He's asking that now? That should have been asked when Phoenix managed to get away (and win his case) with cross-examining a parrot...

Quote:
Maya: Whaa?

Phoenix: What the heck is this, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Hmph. That. The author has embellished a little. By using the background of a chess game, I slowly draw out information from my opponent. It has proven to be quite useful in the last few days.

Franziska: Miles Edgeworth! Do you realise that this has nothing to do with chess in the slightest?! whip crack

Edgeworth: I doOOOnggh! It-it doesn't matter. Can we move on already?


Only now did I realize that this sporking happens a very short time after the events of AAI2...
Franziska's opinion on Logic Chess is apparently not at all favourable.

Quote:
Phoenix: And here I thought we weren't in the kink meme.


All your fics are belong to them.

Quote:
Maya: Eew! Gerald! Bad donkey! Bad donkey!

Phoenix: (I guess that would make him a badass.)


It's very good that Phoenix didn't say that aloud with Franziska there.

Quote:
Maya: Why would he attack the ice cream stand, anyway? Did he not want to pay a few dollars for a cone?


Maybe the ice-cream salesman was de Killer? But then why would...

Quote:
Franziska: Hmph. There is no 'true ass' in this world. There are many foolishly foolish fools such as him.


This seems like the perfect fic for Franziska. Really.

Quote:
Phoenix: Huh?

Maya: Since when do you live in your own office, Nick?

Phoenix: What? Huh?

Edgeworth: How did they not know about who Wright was but knew where he lived?

Franziska: And why didn't they just go after his imposter after he ran?

Phoenix: Who? What? Huh?

Gumshoe: Yeah, pal! What sort of alternate universe does this take place in?

Phoenix: Where? Who? Huh? What?


The whole thing seems like too much to quote, so I'll just say it here - that whole conversation was amazing.
Gumshoe, :no-no: this is Barry-land, where such events are to be expected.

Quote:
Edgeworth: I doubt this fic would be written in any book.


Suddenly reminded of 'larrys childrens story'.

Quote:
Speakers: Slaughterhouse on Monday.

Maya: What?! No! You can't do that!

Speakers: Why not?

Maya: Because he's special to us all.

Speakers: ...Alright. We might have something else for him.


Aww~



Odds and Ends, as(s) usual:

From Franziska in the beginning: "What foolish reason did you have to bringing me here?!" - 'to bringing me'? I think that should be 'to bring me'.

"I'll have a sit down." - is this supposed to have a hyphen between 'sit' and 'down'?

"bequeath upon your services" - I feel that's wrong, though I'm not sure. 'bequeath your services to him' sounds better.

whips the screen gets electrocuted mildly - although this makes complete sense, a comma (or 'and') would be helpful...?



Overall Thoughts:
Amazing sporking, and really loved the appearance of all of the sporkers, as well as Gerald. Franziska was my favourite in this, with everything that she said. Keep up the excellent work!



Every time I complete one of these, a new sporking seems to show up...


Last edited by DarkAgea on Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Spoiler:
Whoa there. Slow down, missy. :oops:

DarkAgea wrote:
Quote:
Heh heh heh heh heh heh....Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOOOHHOHOHOHOOOOHHHOOOOOOHIHHEHEEHHEEEEEEEEEEHHHAAHAHAH yes I guess they would.


I believe an image of Calisto Yew wouldn't be out of place here.


If only there was a smiley of her.

Quote:
Quote:
Really, it was harder than you think to come up with all those constant misspellings. The Sporking itself I feel is rather mediocre. I prefer Cowboy Up to it myself.


It was? Alright...
Mediocre, but for your first sporking, I'd say it's fine.


I think the reason why I like Cowboy Up more is because I'm more familiar with the AJ cast by this point (Apollo, Ema, Trucy, Klavier) than I am with the OT cast. And also because of the fic's nature. Good freaking grief.

Quote:
Quote:
No, I didn't. The fic was supposed to be a standalone one-off trollfic. But I do have some ideas in my mind. Maybe an OC or two? Heh.


I meant are you currently considering a sequel? ... which it seems like you are...
An OC? Oh my, I think I'm already dreading it.


Do not steal

Quote:
Quote:
I'm writing one now with a character I haven't written before, so it's an exciting experience, ya feel me?


Athena?
Holding back comments on that till I reach that sporking.


Heh heh heh heh heh EHEHEHEHEHE yes. Have fun with that.

Quote:
Quote:
The fic doesn't have to be necessarily horrible, but it should at the very least have some...'sporkable' moments. It's a bit hard to explain, but the important part is there has to be quite a few moments where the characters can make fun of what's playing out in front of them. You can still cut out the boring parts, but it has to be a certain length. That's my advice, anyway.


Thank you! I'll try my best.
The fic is actually okay to read, but it felt like one I could take. But that sporking will take a long time in coming, I'm sure.


Good luck!

Which fic were you referring to, again?

Quote:
Quote:
Also, have you seen barrylawn's new fic? It is quite an interesting one. The mystery is truly well woven as well, and the plot twists are unexpected but still make sense in hindsight. Another example of barrylawn's genius works.


*goes and reads it* Certainly quite... ingenious. I'm sure I've never seen such a plot before, with a resolution to the mystery with this twist.


Ikr barrylawn is my waifu

Quote:
Quote:
Also, new sporking coming either today or tomorrow! I have some stuff to do now and also a movie to watch, but I can definitely say that it's started production. Keep an eye out. :gant:


That sporking was faster than expected... But still nice to see!


I mean, there wasn't much left of the fic, so I felt that I might as well have completed it for all to see.

DarkAgea wrote:
Now since I've finally completed it-

the search for the ass:

Note: My review may be slightly biased by the fact that I was really excited to see this sporking ever since I read the fic, because Edgeworth was just so... *shakes head* Anyways, onwards to it!


Hee hee hee hee...HEE HAW!

Sorrynotsorry

Quote:
First of all, I'd like to thank you a whole bunch for bringing in all of the sporkers. I was so glad to see all of them there!


You're welcome. I did have trouble writing Franziska and sometimes Gumshoe, but it seems that you enjoyed them regardless.

Quote:
Quote:
:wacky-edgy: - "Nngh! What type of title is that?!"
:nick-sweat: - "I doubt they're exactly referring to donkeys, Edgeworth."
:maya-thought: - "And by barrylawn, too? Talk about the icing on the cake, Nick. A cake made of pure donkey poop."
:gymshoe: - "Pfft! Ahahahaha! Look, Mr.Edgeworth, it's-"
:ka-whip: - "What?! What kind of foolishly foolish fool would foolishly make such a foolish fic with such a foolishly foolish title!?"

Epic. I loved the reactions... from the introduction itself...
And not to forget the other addition - Gerald! That was certainly a pleasant surprise.


Hooray for Gerald!

While we're still speaking of the jackass, I'm going to confirm that he WILL make an appearance in my next sporking. So look forward to that. ;)

Quote:
Quote:
As(s) usual, it all starts in the sporking theatre, where our Sporkers are all seated.


Can't even lay off them for a moment, can you?


As(s) if.

Quote:
Quote:
Gumshoe: Um, sirs, I don't mean to interrupt, but...why is there a donkey tied to the seat at the end?

Donkey: Hee haw!

Edgeworth: sigh


Edgey's reaction is gold.


Platinum.

Quote:
Really liked the whole conversation before the true sporking itself.


Good to know that all that filler wasn't for nothing!

Now that I think about it, I do always make really long beginnings and endings. I guess it's because just *sporkers enter/leave* feels rather vanilla.

Quote:
Quote:
Franziska: Scruffy! Do you wish to be here for years?! Stop nitpicking on every minor detail, or I will have to use my whip!

Phoenix: (Isn't that what you're doing?)


This whole part is again, done well.
I believe Phoenix's thought can be applied to both the whip and the nitpicking. Which is amazing.


Whoa. I didn't even notice that.

Quote:
Quote:
Maya: Who's this 'de man'? Is he some mysterious figure?


Every time I read this... :shelly:


:darke:

Quote:
Quote:
Maya: Oh, it's just you, Mr. Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: No, that is not me. That is a man by the name of Mr. Assworth, of whom I have no relation with. More importantly, why is Gumshoe asking him to do something about this person in Gourd Lake? As far as I know, Gourd Lake is a public place, and as such no one can be arrested for loitering there-

Phoenix: No, Edgeworth. It's not Gourd Lake, it's 'gard lake'. For all we know, that could be private property.

Edgeworth: Wright, you know was well as I do that the author meant to write Gou-

Phoenix: Then why do you insist that this 'Assworth' guy is a different person than you?

Edgeworth: T-that's...different.


I tried my best not to quote the whole bit, but I failed. I love how Phoenix did that to Edgeworth - it was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

(This little into the sporking, and I feel I'm running out of adjectives...)


Don't worry, that happens to me all the time.

I was originally going to penalise Edgeworth for this, but then I realised it's a tired concept by this point. So I just put him...on edge.

Sorrystillnotsorry

Quote:
Quote:
Franziska: Maybe it is you who is the ass, Scruffy! whip crack

Gumshoe: Yeeeoowwwwcchhh! I'm sorry, sir! I promise not to be an ass anymore!


Oh, Gumshoe...


:sadshoe:

Quote:
Quote:
Phoenix: W-wh..?!

Edgeworth: WHAAAT?!

Gerald: HAW!

Maya: What do they expect to find from analysing that?!


They'll find shίt from that.


Ba-dum shiiiiit.

Sorrybutnevernotstillnotsorry

Quote:
Can't believe Franziska didn't react to that though. What was she doing/feeling then?


I mean, with what she saw on screen, wouldn't it be a tiny bit plausible that she was speechless?

Yeah I forgot she existed for this part sorry(lolnotsorry)

Quote:
Quote:
Edgeworth: And also for being an 'ass', which as far as I know, is not a crime.

Franziska: It should very well be, Miles Edgeworth! The number of fools I have seen in this country is far too much!

Gumshoe: gulp


Now I can imagine Franziska throwing people into jail for 'foolishness'. I wonder who'll be left in the country then?

And to repeat: Oh, Gumshoe...


Herself.

And to repeat: :sadshoe:

Quote:
Quote:
Edgeworth: Fic-me referred to myself as an ass, but asked Mr.Grossberg if he was THE ass. Maybe they're two separate things. Either that, or the author is being inconsistent.


Edgeworth is putting so much thought into those four lines than I did for the whole fic. Wow.


How else do you expect him to find the ass?! This is super serious business, and the most important part of this is to identify what the fic considers 'the ass'.

Quote:
Quote:
edgeworth went back to the crime scene when someone jumped on him


Now that I'm actually focusing on the fic, this mental image is really strange. Why did I even try thinking it...?


So you just skimmed through the fic and decided to send it to me?

Don't worry I skimmed through it too

Quote:
Quote:
Suddenly, before anyone can say a thing, a girl jumps down! And it's-

Edgeworth: Kay! What are you doing here?

Kay: Thought I heard someone say my name. Anyway, what're you watching? I think I'll have a sit down. Can you move a bit, Maya?


Kay's here? Yes!


Hoor(K)ay!

Sorrybutalwaysnotsorry

This is actually my first time writing Kay normally. I had some trouble with her in some parts, and had to make her leave after a while. Glad to see you liked her.

Quote:
Quote:
Kay: And none of you questioned it!?

Franziska: We're rather used to the management's foolishly foolish ideas by now.

Maya: It's actually kinda scary how accustomed we've become.


Wow, the sporkers have really grown a lot, now that I think of it. From Edgey and Nick nearly crying in Taste the Rainbow to both regularly sporking fics far worse...


Poor guys.

Quote:
Quote:
Edgeworth: Hmm, not that much. I only solved the murder of an Interpol agent, a kidnapping, the killing of a detective in my office, taking down the Yatagarasu and the leader of a smuggling ring, exposing a fake presidential assassination, revealing that the prison warden is a murderer, solving an eighteen year old case that my father worked on, arresting the PIC chairman for smuggling and killing, and then solving a real presidential assassination. How about you?

Maya: WHAAAA?! Tell me more, Mr.Edgeworth! Tell me your ways!

Edgeworth: smirk It's all a rather long story. If you want the finer details, ask Franziska-

Kay: Or me!

Gumshoe: Or me, pal!


Just, oh my gods. He did all of this in a few weeks' time, didn't he? Also, is there any particular order to the events except for those from AAI2?


Chronological order. I-2->I-3->I-1->I-5->AAI2 (whose playing order=chronological order, other than some parts of the third case surprisingly).

Quote:
Also also, why is Phoenix silent? Shouldn't he have something to say (or at least a reaction) for that?


I mean, he knows who Kay is rather well. I assume Edgeworth already to,d him of his adventures.

Also I forgot he existed again whoops

Quote:
Quote:
Kay: Whoa, she's going to kill you, Mr.Edgeworth?

Gumshoe: Seems a bit extreme to me, pal.

Phoenix: And also illegal.


And Phoenix is the only person who remembers that.


Phoenix is always rather good at pointing out what should be obvious.

Quote:
Quote:
Edgeworth: That....what?

Phoenix: What sort of logic is that? And why did she even say that in the first place?

Franziska: Hmph. Just the type of foolish logic I expected from you, Miles Edgeworth! whip crack

Edgeworth: Nghhooh!


Just the expected reaction. And we get an Edgey-noise in the actual sporking! Though to be honest, I kinda liked Edgey's logic at that moment...


What do you mean? I make him go 'NGOOH' all the time. Just not as often here as he doesn't get penalised once.

Don't worry I loved his logic too <3

Quote:
Loved it. Especially with the others' reactions to it.


I always like it when the sporkers' reactions line up with the fic. Makes it feel more genuine.

Quote:
Quote:
Edgeworth: Cardboard badge?! (What has happened to the courts of this country?!)


He's asking that now? That should have been asked when Phoenix managed to get away (and win his case) with cross-examining a parrot...


That's different and actually legal. A parrot CAN actually be used to determine the truth of a case, as it can mimic human speech. The cardboard badge, however, is not only horribly fake, but also is illegal. Huge difference.

Quote:
Quote:
Maya: Whaa?

Phoenix: What the heck is this, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Hmph. That. The author has embellished a little. By using the background of a chess game, I slowly draw out information from my opponent. It has proven to be quite useful in the last few days.

Franziska: Miles Edgeworth! Do you realise that this has nothing to do with chess in the slightest?! whip crack

Edgeworth: I doOOOnggh! It-it doesn't matter. Can we move on already?


Only now did I realize that this sporking happens a very short time after the events of AAI2...
Franziska's opinion on Logic Chess is apparently not at all favourable.


You didn't notice when Edgey recalled the game's events in quick succession?

I mean, when you word it like that, Franzy won't like it.

Quote:
Quote:
Phoenix: And here I thought we weren't in the kink meme.


All your fics are belong to them.


Ha ha, the Kink Meme. I'm going through it now as we speak, and gosh is it a great place for fic's. Already stumbled upon some gold mines. If you find any that might be worth sporking, please do contact me.

Quote:
Quote:
Maya: Eew! Gerald! Bad donkey! Bad donkey!

Phoenix: (I guess that would make him a badass.)


It's very good that Phoenix didn't say that aloud with Franziska there.


That would've been bad(ass).

Sorrynotsorry

Quote:
Quote:
Maya: Why would he attack the ice cream stand, anyway? Did he not want to pay a few dollars for a cone?


Maybe the ice-cream salesman was de Killer? But then why would...


But they don't know each other.

Quote:
Quote:
Franziska: Hmph. There is no 'true ass' in this world. There are many foolishly foolish fools such as him.


This seems like the perfect fic for Franziska. Really.


She really likes ranting about foolishly foolish fools.

Quote:
Quote:
Phoenix: Huh?

Maya: Since when do you live in your own office, Nick?

Phoenix: What? Huh?

Edgeworth: How did they not know about who Wright was but knew where he lived?

Franziska: And why didn't they just go after his imposter after he ran?

Phoenix: Who? What? Huh?

Gumshoe: Yeah, pal! What sort of alternate universe does this take place in?

Phoenix: Where? Who? Huh? What?


The whole thing seems like too much to quote, so I'll just say it here - that whole conversation was amazing.
Gumshoe, :no-no: this is Barry-land, where such events are to be expected.


That was me trying to emulate the endings of the games there.

Poor old Gummy.

Quote:
Quote:
Edgeworth: I doubt this fic would be written in any book.


Suddenly reminded of 'larrys childrens story'.


That story in a nutshell:

Quote:
Penix: pls Mary me edgypoop

Mayo: no nicks

Penix: fuk u moya im gonna frame u for mudrur lol

Egwroth: no PENIX U R GILTY

Penix: nuuu

Mayo: wanna make out eggy

Egwroth: k


Did I do a good?

Quote:
Quote:
Speakers: Slaughterhouse on Monday.

Maya: What?! No! You can't do that!

Speakers: Why not?

Maya: Because he's special to us all.

Speakers: ...Alright. We might have something else for him.


Aww~


:,)

Quote:
Odds and Ends, as(s) usual:

From Franziska in the beginning: "What foolish reason did you have to bringing me here?!" - 'to bringing me'? I think that should be 'to bring me'.


I meant to say 'for', actually.

Quote:
"I'll have a sit down." - is this supposed to have a hyphen between 'sit' and 'down'?


Yeah. Donno how that escaped me.

Quote:
"bequeath upon your services" - I feel that's wrong, though I'm not sure. 'bequeath your services to him' sounds better.


I wasn't happy with the wording of this one anyway, so I'll fix it, thanks for that.

Quote:
whips the screen gets electrocuted mildly - although this makes complete sense, a comma (or 'and') would be helpful...?


Probably.

Quote:
Overall Thoughts:
Amazing sporking, and really loved the appearance of all of the sporkers, as well as Gerald. Franziska was my favourite in this, with everything that she said. Keep up the excellent work!


Glad to hear.

Quote:
Every time I complete one of these, a new sporking seems to show up...


Aw, don't worry you only have Turnabout egg, the really bad Phoenix/Angelique one, and the final part of the Baby Chronicles left!

Sadly, while May was a good month for sporking, I'll be returning to work in June, and won't have much time to spork from then on until much later. :larry: I'll try and finish the other sporking before that, I guess. Have fun reading the others.

A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore


Last edited by Southern Corn on Fri Jun 02, 2017 6:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

Posts: 298

Spoiler:
Quote:
It does sound kinda better with the number.


i know...

Quote:
The art of being forgotten has been passed down the Payne family line for generations!
(... Couldn't resist the urge...)


because of course....CURSE YOU ASOUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! eat your chicken...

Quote:
May she indeed. Otherwise... ouch.


ouchi payne (couldn't resist)

Quote:
They can be unique, but I just wish they had that kind of... charm he has, even if it appears in different ways. (don't know how to explain that)


well we just have to wait and see for the english release to see if they do have the same ecentricity of Monokuma

Quote:
Oh, that makes more sense now. Thanks!


yes, and each chapter is split into three sections. "Daily life" where you go around making friends with the characters trying to understand them and the usual shenanigans. "Deadly life" which is the investigations and "class trial" which is....well the trial segemnts.

Quote:
That's completely okay. I meant more specific DR references, but those seem like stuff anyone outside of that could say.


oh okay.

Quote:
Oh. That's a quite difficult dream to fulfil...
You have ideas for any AA fics?


Well it's not that difficult......the only roadblock in my way is good mic quality.
i have a few, i made prompts on the kinkmeme, only one of them got filled....everything else was ignored.....'tis my fate because i couldn't write them myself.....
i also sprung an idea last night....where Igor from persona 5 forges contracts with each ace attorney char and we see their velvet room, the chapters would range depending on the character and the room from hilariously stupid to seriously symbolic.
(velvet room theme not included)

Quote:
Very short-lived, if I remember correctly.


yeah true.

Quote:
He actually did that? (I only read some of it... and thought you were sarcastic then...)


:oops: hehe, what can i say?

Quote:
Portrayed badly is right. You're sporking this fic, right?
That doesn't really sound that harsh. It's easy to understand, especially if you like Klavier...


yeah i'm sporking it maybe during or after i finish sporking BAROK VAN ZEIKS FIND LUV11!

Quote:
Yeah. My brother can be an ass at times, but he's extremely kind at others... keeps confusing me...


my butt-whole bro's star sign was cancer the crab.
and i was surprised when i my mum told me the traits matched



Last edited by HeroMan66475 on Sat Jun 03, 2017 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Whelp, I accidentally my sporking. Time to start over again. *sigh*
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

Posts: 298

HeroMan66475 wrote:
Quote:
It does sound kinda better with the number.


i know..recently i leanred stan lee made an anime named "heroman" i dodged the plagarism bullet there.

Quote:
The art of being forgotten has been passed down the Payne family line for generations!
(... Couldn't resist the urge...)


because of course....CURSE YOU ASOUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! eat your chicken...

Quote:
May she indeed. Otherwise... ouch.


ouchi payne (couldn't resist)

Quote:
They can be unique, but I just wish they had that kind of... charm he has, even if it appears in different ways. (don't know how to explain that)


well we just have to wait and see for the english release to see if they do have the same ecentricity of Monokuma

Quote:
Oh, that makes more sense now. Thanks!


yes, and each chapter is split into three sections. "Daily life" where you go around making friends with the characters trying to understand them and the usual shenanigans. "Deadly life" which is the investigations and "class trial" which is....well the trial segemnts.

Quote:
That's completely okay. I meant more specific DR references, but those seem like stuff anyone outside of that could say.


oh okay.

Quote:
Oh. That's a quite difficult dream to fulfil...
You have ideas for any AA fics?


Well it's not that difficult......the only roadblock in my way is good mic quality.
i have a few, i made prompts on the kinkmeme, only one of them got filled....everything else was ignored.....'tis my fate because i couldn't write them myself.....
i also sprung an idea last night....where Igor from persona 5 forges contracts with each ace attorney char and we see their velvet room, the chapters would range depending on the character and the room from hilariously stupid to seriously symbolic.
(velvet room theme not included)

Quote:
Very short-lived, if I remember correctly.


yeah true.

Quote:
He actually did that? (I only read some of it... and thought you were sarcastic then...)


:oops: hehe, what can i say?

Quote:
Portrayed badly is right. You're sporking this fic, right?
That doesn't really sound that harsh. It's easy to understand, especially if you like Klavier...


yeah i'm sporking it maybe during or after i finish sporking BAROK VAN ZEIKS FIND LUV11!

Quote:
Yeah. My brother can be an ass at times, but he's extremely kind at others... keeps confusing me...


my butt-whole bro's star sign was cancer the crab.
and i was surprised when i my mum told me the traits matched

Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Suputri kuladeepakah.

Gender: Female

Location: In the clouds.

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

Posts: 88

Spoiler: To SC
Quote:
Whoa there. Slow down, missy. :oops:


If you're talking about the double post, it was high time I completed that review.

Quote:
If only there was a smiley of her.


If only. Poor AAI characters...

Quote:
I think the reason why I like Cowboy Up more is because I'm more familiar with the AJ cast by this point (Apollo, Ema, Trucy, Klavier) than I am with the OT cast. And also because of the fic's nature. Good freaking grief.


Oh... What about now?
And yeah, considering MRA was written in jest and Cowboy Up was quite serious and... kinda scary with its message. still can't believe Neil did that...

Quote:
Heh heh heh heh heh EHEHEHEHEHE yes. Have fun with that.


... :edgeworth:

Quote:
Good luck!

Which fic were you referring to, again?


Thank you.

And I never named that fic. I'm still wondering whether I'm up to it (and whether to choose a different one), so I decided to remain silent.

Quote:
Ikr barrylawn is my waifu


Okay then...

Quote:
I mean, there wasn't much left of the fic, so I felt that I might as well have completed it for all to see.


Oh. Now since that's over, when can we expect the next sporking?

Quote:
Hee hee hee hee...HEE HAW!

Sorrynotsorry


Readying myself for what will follow.

Quote:
You're welcome. I did have trouble writing Franziska and sometimes Gumshoe, but it seems that you enjoyed them regardless.


You did? It didn't seem like that to me at all.

(Though I don't think I'm the best of judges at in-characterness...)

Quote:
Hooray for Gerald!

While we're still speaking of the jackass, I'm going to confirm that he WILL make an appearance in my next sporking. So look forward to that. ;)


How did you choose Gerald's name? I mean, was there any reason behind it?

And by next, you mean the Kink Meme Special, don't you? I'm looking forward to it a lot. :pearl:

Quote:
As(s) if.


... It was my foally to ass-ume otherwise.

Quote:
Platinum.


Platinum gold.

Quote:
Good to know that all that filler wasn't for nothing!

Now that I think about it, I do always make really long beginnings and endings. I guess it's because just *sporkers enter/leave* feels rather vanilla.


It's always fun to have filler between characters, because it really gives a good start to the whole sporking. And sometimes, there are gems in the beginning filler. Literal gems.
And yeah, that is rather vanilla. The ending lends a lot to the feeling we have once we finished (to make it clearer, 'In The Role of a Gavin' had a very sweet friendship finish that lets go on a happy note).

Quote:
Whoa. I didn't even notice that.


I was actually confused on which of the two you meant, before I realised it could more easily be applied to the whip.

Quote:
:darke:


:gant:

Quote:
Don't worry, that happens to me all the time.


Running out of adjectives? I usually try to word it in a different way to avoid too much adjectives, but there are times when you need one to describe it. And this sporking gave me a lot of those moments. :will:

Quote:
I was originally going to penalise Edgeworth for this, but then I realised it's a tired concept by this point. So I just put him...on edge.

Sorrystillnotsorry


*sighs*
It was really worth it, though.

Quote:
:sadshoe:


Aww~

Quote:
Ba-dum shiiiiit.

Sorrybutnevernotstillnotsorry


That apology was bullshit.

Quote:
I mean, with what she saw on screen, wouldn't it be a tiny bit plausible that she was speechless?

Yeah I forgot she existed for this part sorry(lolnotsorry)


Yup, she would be speechless, but then I would expect her to whip Edgeworth for his foolish methods of investigation.

Quote:
Herself.

And to repeat: :sadshoe:


She'd be out of a job then. And that's the least of the problems.

And to repeat: Aww~

Quote:
How else do you expect him to find the ass?! This is super serious business, and the most important part of this is to identify what the fic considers 'the ass'.


Yes, the case of the ass is a big problem, but Edgeworth could just accept that his logic cannot be applied to the world of barrylawn - let it go and move on. That's what I did, anyway.

Quote:
So you just skimmed through the fic and decided to send it to me?

Don't worry I skimmed through it too


Well, umm... Yes...

Good to know that.

Quote:
Hoor(K)ay!

Sorrybutalwaysnotsorry


'Kay, I can take this Faraday.

Quote:
This is actually my first time writing Kay normally. I had some trouble with her in some parts, and had to make her leave after a while. Glad to see you liked her.


... It was...?
Kay's appearance was as dynamic as expected, and I like how she immediately gave Gumshoe a refill. And even if she did leave after some time, at least she did appear. That's more than enough for me.

Quote:
Poor guys.


They have learnt to suffer in the despair.
There is no escape in the Management's care.
There is only-
Sporking.

(Just was in the mood to do this.)

Quote:
Chronological order. I-2->I-3->I-1->I-5->AAI2 (whose playing order=chronological order, other than some parts of the third case surprisingly).


Ohhh, I didn't notice that. I was thinking about playing order, rather than chronological one. It makes a lot more sense now. Those parts of the third case were flashbacks... though we still played through them...
...why the surprise?

Quote:
I mean, he knows who Kay is rather well. I assume Edgeworth already to,d him of his adventures.

Also I forgot he existed again whoops


That makes perfect sense. But... Maya could have asked him why he seems so unruffled by that?

Quote:
Phoenix is always rather good at pointing out what should be obvious.


Extremely. In everything.

(Though suddenly I get this image of 'You are lovers, aren't you?')

Quote:
What do you mean? I make him go 'NGOOH' all the time. Just not as often here as he doesn't get penalised once.

Don't worry I loved his logic too <3


I meant in this sporking. Otherwise, yeah.

I was really wondering how Edgey was going to get himself out of that mess when he came up with that. And it was amazing.

Quote:
I always like it when the sporkers' reactions line up with the fic. Makes it feel more genuine.


That it does.

Quote:
That's different and actually legal. A parrot CAN actually be used to determine the truth of a case, as it can mimic human speech. The cardboard badge, however, is not only horribly fake, but also is illegal. Huge difference.


So they can - the more you know...
... Edgeworth was talking about the legality of the action? I thought that dialogue was more about the insanity that happens, which is like... every case ever.
Though seeing the cardboard badge does make one wonder how Tigre managed to do it...

Quote:
You didn't notice when Edgey recalled the game's events in quick succession?

I mean, when you word it like that, Franzy won't like it.


I believed Edgeworth was just remembering all of those cases that quick because of how they happened together and was kind of a big deal... I mean with the Ambassador of Allebahst, the PIC Chairman and a smuggling ring...

There doesn't seem to be many things Franzy likes.

Quote:
Ha ha, the Kink Meme. I'm going through it now as we speak, and gosh is it a great place for fic's. Already stumbled upon some gold mines. If you find any that might be worth sporking, please do contact me.


I will. Though I'm sure anything I find will have already been taken by you, considering I don't go there that much...

Quote:
That would've been bad(ass).

Sorrynotsorry


Asstrology will not favour Phoenix.

Quote:
But they don't know each other.


That's why I trailed off like that. Wondering if the two could have some relation...
(This is insane, but bear with me-) What if de Killer had been asked to assassinate Tigre by somebody who borrowed money, and Tigre caught wind of that and then attacked the ice-cream stand in order to break de Killer's disguise?

Quote:
She really likes ranting about foolishly foolish fools.


She doesn't usually get the chance to do such an extensive rant on asses, so she has to take everything she gets.

Quote:
That was me trying to emulate the endings of the games there.

Poor old Gummy.


Oh. Makes sense.

And Gummy is always poor.

Quote:
That story in a nutshell:

Quote:
Penix: pls Mary me edgypoop

Mayo: no nicks

Penix: fuk u moya im gonna frame u for mudrur lol

Egwroth: no PENIX U R GILTY

Penix: nuuu

Mayo: wanna make out eggy

Egwroth: k



Did I do a good?


You did a brilliant.
It really captured the essence of the fic, and can be used as a simple short summary for it.

Quote:
I meant to say 'for', actually.


I just suggested the first thing that came to mind.

Quote:
Yeah. Donno how that escaped me.


It's easy to miss a hyphen. It wasn't that much of an issue.

Quote:
I wasn't happy with the wording of this one anyway, so I'll fix it, thanks for that.


I had to check to see how bequeath could be used, since I was a bit confused on that.
You're welcome.

Quote:
Aw, don't worry you only have Turnabout egg, the really bad Phoenix/Angelique one, and the final part of the Baby Chronicles left!


From you, that is. There's still 'BAROK VAN ZEIKS FIND LUV11!'
And that amounts to four, and I'm sure by the time I complete one, you'll bring out the Special.

Quote:
Sadly, while May was a good month for sporking, I'll be returning to work in June, and won't have much time to spork from then on until much later. :larry: I'll try and finish the other sporking before that, I guess. Have fun reading the others.


You have work? ... You always seemed like an insanely free spirit to me. Take your time and scour for the best (sporkable) fics possible.
And I know I'll have fun.


Last edited by DarkAgea on Fri Jun 02, 2017 8:19 am, edited 3 times in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Can't go to hell. Out of vacation days.

Gender: Male

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:19 pm

Posts: 48

Jesus christ what is with these extremely big posts where people are individually quoting and responding to every single sentence of the other posts that are doing the same thing. I can't find the actual normal posts in this mess. Can you guys, like, tone that down a little, please?

Like, seriously, if you're gonna do that, or if you're gonna commentate on someone else's sporking, for the love of god, put it in spoiler tags.

Edit: Dear god, there's two pages of this stuff.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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DrOcsid wrote:
Jesus christ what is with these extremely big posts where people are individually quoting and responding to every single sentence of the other posts that are doing the same thing. I can't find the actual normal posts in this mess. Can you guys, like, tone that down a little, please?

Like, seriously, if you're gonna do that, or if you're gonna commentate on someone else's sporking, for the love of god, put it in spoiler tags.

Edit: Dear god, there's two pages of this stuff.


While I'm a bit surprised it took so long for someone to intervene, your post does raise a good point. From here on out, I suggest we keep the discussions a bit more focussed on sporkings and the like, no deviations included. I'll also be spoilering my earlier posts, and I recommend everyone else does the same.

In other news, I can definitely promise a new sporking by today. It's absolutely imperative that I get it up by today, so I can say that much, at least. Till then, ciao!
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Suputri kuladeepakah.

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@DrOcsid - Apologies. I'll spoiler my earlier posts.

Quote:
In other news, I can definitely promise a new sporking by today.


Something to look forward to.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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It's been a while, eh. Time to shake things up. It's the...

Kink Meme Special V- 5 Fast, 5 Furious

Yes indeedy! It's finally arrived, baby! No rating or link because these are a collection of anonymous prompts from the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme (which has been going on for quite a while). Just a note, this sporking special will have SoJ/AA6 spoilers so I recommend you finish the main game first before seeing this.

Finally, this special continues from the final part of the Baby Chronicles sporking , so it would be wise to read that part first at least to understand some things in this. That is all.

Now, let's get this show on the road!

Spoiler:
[...

5 Sporkers...

5 Fics...

5 Anonymous Prompts from the Kink Meme...

And 5 days since the 5th part of the Baby Chronicles!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome... to the 5th Kink Meme Special! Give it up, everybody!]


Apollo: You know we can't clap, right? We're cuffed to our seats here.

Edgeworth: Even if we could, we wouldn't. This is a travesty.

Phoenix: Wait, 5 days since we sporked the Baby Chronicles? How does that work?

Ema: Scientifically speaking, we couldn't have survived that long without food or water at minimum.

Athena: And if my mother's co-sporking with us, then there's more than 5 sporkers!

Widget: This narrator's spewing lies!

Speakers: The Management requests that all the sporkers not be spoilsports. We've been looking forward to this for a while. Additionally, the narrator spent a really long time coming with that, so please don't hurt their feelings.

[*sniffle* I thought it was good...]

Phoenix: Look, we've been waiting for you to put on the fics already. We've had more than enough time to explain to Athena about the workings of the Kink Meme as well as what this special is.

Athena: And I wish I didn't know now.

Apollo: (Hey! It was way worse for me to explain it all to you!)

Speakers: There's been some trouble with the teleportation device. It's having trouble bringing people in. If you ask me, this reeks of sabotage. Thankfully, we've extended a request for a special guest to come in. They'll be coming anytime now.

Athena: ... (So much for my mother appearing then...)

Speakers: Don't worry, you will still get to see your mother.

Athena: What?! How?

Speakers: Well-

???: Oh, I see how it is. That's why I'm here, huh?

Phoenix: ..! (That voice!) turns around M-Maya!?

Maya: Oh, hey Nick! How's it going?

Apollo: What?!

Athena: Uh...

Ema: MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Edgeworth: ?!

Phoenix: Not too good. Apparently I've been cuffed to this seat for five days-

Speakers: The Management requests that Mr. Wright not think too much about that.

Phoenix: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway why're you-? ....Oooh. I see.

Maya: Figured it out, haven't you?

Phoenix: Yeah.

Athena: What're you two talking about, Boss?

Phoenix: What? Oh, it's simple, really. Spirit channeling.

Apollo: ! So you're going to channel her?!

Maya: Yep. I guess that's why you called me, huh, Management?

Speakers: Got it in one.

Maya: Hmph. I see how it is, then. Goodbye.

Ema: Wait! Maya!

Athena: Where are you going?!

Maya: Isn't it obvious? I'm getting the heck outta here!

Apollo: What? No! You can't just leave us here!

Maya: Sorry, Apollo. But I won't bother. If I leave, then the Management has no choice but to let you all go.

Athena: But! My mother-

Maya: We can do that in private, Athena. Ever been to Kurain Village?

Speakers: No, no. We can't have that happening.

Maya: Oh yeah? And what're you going to do? I won't allow Pearl to just come here, and you'd be out of your mind if you'd try and summon Queen Amara.

Speakers: ...It's quite simple, really. Remember Gerald?

Phoenix: Gerald?

Edgeworth: (Him?)

Apollo: Who?

Maya: What? I thought he'd be dead by now.

Speakers: Oh, no. He's at a ripe old age now. We've been fattening him up ever since you last saw him. He's quite happy now.But if you're going to just up and leave...

Maya: ...No...you can't!

Speakers: Oh, we will.

Athena: Who's this guy, Boss?

Phoenix: Ssh!

Ema: Gerald, huh.

Maya: ... quietly sits down

Speakers: There's a good girl! Now, the name of the person you're going to channel is Metis Cykes. As for her face, I believe her daughter has a picture of her in her right side pant pocket?

Athena: Eh? How did you know?! gives photograph to Maya

Speakers: We have our ways. Now, you have all you need to know. Get on with it.

Maya: ...Metis Cykes, huh? She looks kind of like you, Athena.

Athena: ..Yeah.

Maya: .... murmur murmur

Ema: Huh? What's she-

Phoenix: Sssssh!

Maya: ...slumbering in the depths of the Twlight Realm...

Apollo: (This is going to be my first time actually seeing a person getting channeled!)

WOOOOSH

...

...

...



???: ...Where am I?

Phoenix: Oh..

Ema: My...

Apollo: Metis Cykes? (She looks almost the same!)

Athena: ...M-m-mm-mo-

Widget: MOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!

[And right as- ooh, my...this is...so sweet... *sniffle* Look at them hug each other! They're both in tears!]

Speakers: Narrator!

[Right! Sorry, sir. Um..yes! After a while, after both mother and daughter catch up on everything and wipe away their tears, Athena sits next to her and explains why they're here in the first place.]

Metis: I see. So, in essence, we have to watch what someone has written about us up there on the big screen?

Athena: sniff Got it in one.

Speakers: Now that we've got that all out of the way, let's get started!

Edgeworth: About time. It has been an hour since the narrator's introduction.

Apollo: (Sheesh, Athena's got a really good grip on her mother's hand. I don't blame her, though.)

Ema: So what's this fic about, scientifically?

Speakers: Good question. Here's the prompt.

Prompt wrote:
What was Simon thinking and feeling when he came upon Metis dead and Athena covered in blood? When he was carrying Athena out of the lab beneath his coat?

I don't think I've ever seen this done from his POV (except when he's questioned about it and is lying his head off for Athena).

No Cykesquill here, obviously.


Athena: ...

Metis: ...

Apollo: (I think I just saw Athena's grip loosen.)

Ema: Wait a minute. Is this case-?

Edgeworth: UR-1.

Ema: ..Ah. I see. MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Phoenix: Um, well...I guess this has the potential to be interesting..?

Athena: Boss. No.

Speakers: I see you're all enthused. Let's start with the fic, then!

Fic wrote:
Blood. That's all he could see. Then he saw Metis's body lying on the table. And then, the worst sight of all, Athena. The girl who he had come to see as a little sister to him, was covered in what he could only suspect was her own mother's blood.


Athena: Oh god. Oh god.

Ema: That is a lot of blood.

Metis: ...Oh dear. I see. This is Simon covering for you?

Athena: nods briskly

Quote:
How could this have happened? Nothing made sense to him at this point. Suddenly, Athena looks up, with the sweetest smile, and says 'Something's wrong with Mom, so I'm taking her apart to fix her!'


Edgeworth: (That image is haunting...)

Athena: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod

Apollo: Um...Athena?

Phoenix: I don't think she's okay, Apollo.

Metis: Athena, dear? Calm down. It's not that bad.

Athena: IT'S YOU! Dead! On the seat!

Quote:
At that moment, each of Simon's senses began to fade. All he could hear was a ringing in his ear, all he could feel was a sense of falling and all he could see was a catastrophic mess which he couldn't even begin to fix. After what felt like hours, Simon heard the familiar sound of the robot Ponco.


Metis: Ah yes, Ponco. Is she still there at the space station?

Apollo: Yeah, and Clonco as well.

Phoenix: (Though Clonco's a bit glitchy...as well as a bit too attached to his mistress.)

Quote:
Without even thinking, he picked up the bloody katana, hacked the robot to pieces, placed the dismembered thing in the suitcase and took it with him and he grabbed Athena and left the hell he had just witnessed.


Edgeworth: A hell indeed.

Quote:
He didn't particularly have a plan. He didn't even know what to do. All he could think about was Athena and how to justify what had just happened. She couldn't have done it. Surely. The little girl who had loved as a young man himself. She was the sweetest thing he had ever known. She wouldn't even kill a spider without feeling guilty. So as he sat there in the private quarters of his deceased mentor, he devised a plan.


Metis: How long did they take to discover my body again?

Edgeworth: A surprisingly long time. I expect that will come up at the end of this fic.

Quote:
He cleaned the blood from Athena, put her in pyjamas and tucked her into bed as if she would be able to wake up from this nightmare. As he watched her sleep, he began to think about what would become of him in the next few hours. Nothing would be the same again. Athena would never have a normal childhood. Aura would never see Metis walk down the aisle. And he would never be a prosecutor again.


Metis: Did they eventually get him off?

Ema: If I remember correctly, it was only last year that they let Prosecutor Blackquill free. They also convicted the Phantom. All thanks to Mr. Wright and his subordinates, of course.

Metis: Really? That is a relief. I owe you much then, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: Huh? Oh no, it was nothing. Eh heh heh. (Thank god Pearl isn't here to see this.)

Quote:
As he had begun to accept his fate, he began to make his leave until he heard a small voice say 'Simon?' The red haired child had awoken from her tear induced slumber but still remained in the nightmare.


Apollo: I'd say Athena's hair is more orange than red, if you ask me.

Phoenix: (Not Dahlia red, at least,)

Quote:
'Athena, go back to sleep' Simon whispered.

'I can't. You're leaving. You never leave me when I'm going to sleep. Please stay Simey.' The young samurai could not resist and laid on the bed and played with Athena's hair until she fell asleep, the same as he had done every night prior. And as he twirled her auburn hair around his fingers, he shed a tear knowing that this would be the last time that he would ever see his little sister.


Athena: sniffle

Apollo: ? Are you-

Athena: I'M FINE, YOU JERK FACE!

Apollo: Oh, whoa! Okay! (She puts my Chords of Steel to shame!)

Athena: And 'Simey'?! I'm not Bucky Whet!

Metis: Ah, is he still friends with him?

Athena: For some reason, yeah.

Quote:
Slowly, Athena turned to face Simon and asked 'Why are you crying Simon? You never cry.'

'Athena, do you know what has happened?' He asked quietly. He hadn't asked her about the events which had transpired out of fear, and wanting to spare the girl any more trauma.


Metis: sigh I really do regret not letting you socialise more, Athena.

Athena: Aw, mama! I still had Junie, at least.

Quote:
'Yes, Mom has to be fixed. Did you get someone to fix her?' She asked hopeful. Every word which came out of he mouth struck pain in Simon's heart. How could he tell an 11 year old girl that she would be without her mother. He would be gone and Aura was never one for a maternal connection with anyone.


Metis: How is Aura, incidentally?

Athena: Huh? Well...um...

Apollo: She's, er...

Phoenix: It's kinda hard to explain right now.

Quote:
'She's just how you left her.' These were the only words which could come out of his mouth. The more he spoke, the more the tears fell but with Athena on his chest, she was none the wiser.

'Will you do something about that?'


Athena: ...

Apollo: (She's really holding back her tears on this one.)

[quite]'I already have.' His fingerprints were on the murder weapon, he would have been caught on camera, his clothes were stained with blood from picking up Athena; it was almost certain that he would be convicted of murder in the next few days. 'Athena, please know that no matter what happens you will be one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me, and I will always cherish the fact that I was honoured to have you as my little sister.' As he looked down with his blurred vision, he saw that Athena had drifted asleep again. He smiled to himself until the sound of handcuffs alerted his attention to the detectives in front of him. It was now time for him to accept his fate.[/quote]

Metis: Detectives?

Edgeworth: Ah, yes. Two policemen and a staff member of GYAXA discovered the body initially.

Phoenix: One of whom was Bobby Fulbright.

[The lights come on.]

Apollo: Wait, that's it?!

Ema: Meh, it was tolerable.

Edgeworth: An interesting insight into Prosecutor Blackquill's mind at the time of the incident, at the very least.

Phoenix: Why did you show us this again?

Speakers: To fulfill our deal, of course! Though for some reason, Ms. Cykes doesn't look too happy.

Athena: YOU JERKS!

Apollo: (Oh. Is that why?)

Speakers: But we fulfilled our deal! Tch, I see how it is then. Eject it!

[Suddenly, a reddish glowing stone drops down from the ceiling onto Metis Cyke's lap.]

Metis: ? What is this?

Phoenix: Huh? A Magatama of Parting? Oh no.

Athena: Wait! NO! MOTHER! THERE'S STILL SO MUCH WE HAVEN'T TALKED A-

WOOSH

...

...

...


Maya: Whoa. Why are you looking at me like that, Athena?

Athena: Huh? Oh, it's nothing. walks back to her original seat

Maya: Alright? Ulp. I'm feeling a bit woozy for some reason.

Speakers: That's unfortunate. But you still have more to go; more spirits to channel.

Maya: WHAAAAT?!

Apollo: groan Who is it this time?

Speakers: I believe you know him very well, Mr. Justice. A man by the name of...Dhurke Sahdmadhi.

Apollo: DHURKE?!

Athena: What? Haven't you seen Dhurke at all since that case?

Apollo: sigh No. Too many cases recently. No time for spirit channeling, especially not from Queen Amara.

Edgeworth: First Ms. Cykes's mother, now Mr. Justice's foster father. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Phoenix: Yeah, what next? Mia?

Maya: sigh Dhurke it is, then. Not like I have much of a choice right now...

Speakers: Good. In the meantime, here's the prompt of our next fic.

Athena: Well, at least it can't get any worse than what we just saw, right?

Prompt wrote:
Give me the sex that led to Rayfa's conception. These two lovebirds are so happy to see each other, they can't restrain themselves for ten minutes.

Bonus points if little Nahyuta accidentally sees it.


Apollo: ...Goddammit.

Athena: ...

Widget: I take back what I said!

Phoenix: Yeah, now this is more of the stuff I'm used to seeing on the Kink Meme.

Edgeworth: ...Ngh! penalty (I don't think my truth bar can take any more than this..!)

???: Huh? Apollo? What am I doing here?

Apollo: DHURKE!

Phoenix: Um..

Dhurke: Oh, you too, Mr. Wright? And you brought Ms. Cykes, Detective Skye, and even the Chief Prosecutor along! Is this some kind of cinema hall?

Apollo: Yeah, um...about that..

[A few minutes later...]

Dhurke: Oh, I see! Hah hah hah hah hah! A Sporking theatre, eh? Are there any sports involved?

Speakers: No, but there should be. We're working on that.

Dhurke: Good to know, good to know! Ahahahahah!

Phoenix: It's weird seeing you like this, Mr. Sahdmadhi.

Dhurke: Yes, I suppose it's the topknot, isn't it?

Athena: And the robes.

Dhurke: But the best thing is that I can see with both eyes thanks to whoever is channeling me currently! My arm is also working properly.

Apollo: It's Maya Fey, Dhurke.

Dhurke: Ah, yes, Maya Fey. Good girl. ...Why are you handcuffed, son? Did the Ga'ran regime catch up to you?

Apollo: It's a long story.

Phoenix: Wait, so your eyes and arm work better now due to Maya? That's weird. Abbot Inmee still had his tattoos in his chest when he was being channeled.

Dhurke: That's a different story altogether, Mr. Wright. Did the Abbot have a huge hole in his abdomen? No, and for the same reason why I have no bullet holes in my chest. The markings on the original body remain while being channeled, but not injuries. So I still have the dragon tattoo on my hand,

Athena: Ooh, show it to us, Dhurke!

Dhurke: Very well then, young lady! holds up hand A Dragon never Yields.

Athena: Oooh! That's so cooool!

Phoenix: Ah. I see.

Dhurke: Good! You understand. It's great to see with two eyes again! Anyway, what're we 'sporking' now, son?

Apollo: Huh? ...Oh, it's the, uh, 'events' leading to Rayfa's conception.

Dhurke: ...You're kidding, right, son?

Speakers: ...Let's start the next fic!

Fic wrote:
Amara could barely think, she was so desperate to get Dhurke's hands on her. She could feel his eyes on her as she tore at her own clothes, his heavy gaze, probing and deep.


Dhurke: Never mind what I said. I wish my left eye was still blind. In fact, I wish I was entirely blind.

Speakers: All Sporkers must pay attention to the screen at all times.

Athena: Eugh.

Widget: TMI!

Edgeworth: Rrggh! (You can do it, Miles! You can make it through this!)

Quote:
She didn't know how she could have gone so long without it. Buttons suddenly felt too complicated to handle.


Athena: Oh, um, I have that trouble all the time!

Phoenix: Not the best time to say this stuff, Athena.

Quote:
She looked up to see if he was faring any better. Dhurke growled. He dropped to his knees and hiked up her skirt without waiting any longer.


Dhurke: This reminds me of the good old days, eh, Apollo?

Apollo: Please don't speak to me, Dhurke.

Quote:
How did she live without his mouth there all those years? How could anyone survive without it? His strong tongue licked over her folds and her clit, again and again, before plunging in. She cried out and arched. Her head cracked against the wall. She grabbed his hair in her fingers as he licked deep into the hot centre of her. It was almost too much. She felt her thoughts had fizzled out until she was no longer capable of rationality, only fiery passion. She couldn't keep herself silent.


Ema: You know, seeing all this does certainly ruin Queen Amara's...serenity.

Apollo: You think?

Quote:
She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him away when she felt herself dancing too close to that edge. His face was wet with her. He looked like the demon tempting her to be bad that her tomb paintings claimed he was.


Dhurke: Well, I am quite the demon in-

Apollo: Dhurke, please. No.

Quote:
How did she live without his mouth there all those years? How could anyone survive without it? His strong tongue licked over her folds and her clit, again and again, before plunging in. She cried out and arched. Her head cracked against the wall. She grabbed his hair in her fingers as he licked deep into the hot centre of her. It was almost too much. She felt her thoughts had fizzled out until she was no longer capable of rationality, only fiery passion. She couldn't keep herself silent.


Phoenix: (Why am I seeing this?)

Athena: Why is she grabbing his hair again..?

Quote:
She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him away when she felt herself dancing too close to that edge. His face was wet with her. He looked like the demon tempting her to be bad that her tomb paintings claimed he was.


Apollo: Did they just repeat the same paragraph?

Speakers: No, I think there was a problem with the film. Never mind. It's fixed now.

Quote:
She could feel herself sliding down the wall. Dhurke rose from a kneel and grabbed her by one hip, slammed her upright. She didn't care to wait to take all of their clothes off any more. She just wanted one part of them to be skin to skin.


Dhurke: This is really overdoing it now.

Apollo: NOW?!

Quote:
She wanted him inside, so deep that she would never forget how it felt.

She could feel the [CENSORED] pressing against her wet opening as he leaned against her. He grunted as he pushed in. She'd missed it, so much.


Edgeworth: Oh, good. The Management actually censors something for once. Good.

Apollo: That is one large censor bar, though.

Dhurke: Yes, well, I can't exactly deny it, can I? Ah hah hah hah hah hah hah!

Quote:
So many hours she'd spent thinking about it over the years, remembering the way they could never get enough of each other physically, the way she could never stop touching his skin, never stop wanting him inside her. Surely, she'd thought, it couldn't have been that good. Surely nothing could. And yet, now, it was even better than she'd remembered. How could anyone be so talented at it?


Ema: This is too much.

Dhurke: You know what I say- a dragon never yields!

Phoenix: Um...

Apollo: groan Please don't make it worse, Dhurke.

Quote:
His face was wet with her juices. His breathing was rough in the steaming air between their faces as he fuçked into her. She kissed him, licked wet into that dirty mouth, so nobody could hear them. Tasted herself on his tongue, as he pushed into her again and again.


Athena: Tastes...herself?

Ema: Scientifically speaking, I think that's-

Phoenix: No need to elaborate, Ema.

Edgeworth: Why is that 'c' written differently?

Spelaers: Ah, damn. The film again. One minute. ...There, done. Hopefully that should be enough.

Quote:
Stars were exploding inside her, orgasm running warm throughout her body, but she didn't want to stop. Didn't ever want to stop.

She could hear a sound outside their little room that made sanity and reality almost return.


Edgeworth: Ah, good. A disturbance.

Phoenix: Did someone catch the two lovebirds going at it?

Quote:
"N-Nahyuta, honey, stay outside," she begged.

She wasn't ready to clean up and be the good mommy yet.


Apollo: Why is Queen Amara such an irresponsible parent in this fic?

Dhurke: Where is Nahyuya, anyway? It's be nice to see him again. As he gotten rid of the Ga'ran regime?

Apollo: Yeah, long story. We'll talk about that later.

Speakers: Hm. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try the teleportation device again. Nnnkh! There. Is he..?

Edgeworth: ...! There's someone next to me!

Athena: That's definitely not Nahyuta.

Speakers: Darn. Guess the device is still malfunctioning. Who is this guy, anyway?

Ema: It appears to be an old fifty-something man wearing glasses and a yellowish suit. He has some weird hairdo too.

Apollo: (The guy kinda looks familiar to me..)

Phoenix: (Who the hell is this old man?)

Edgeworth: (Why is the janitor here?)

Athena: Anyway, I guess we should move on.

Quote:
And it was obvious Dhurke wasn't ready yet, either. She slipped a hand under his clothes to grab at his hot skin, his muscular back, as he moved in and in and in, so long and thick and perfect she could barely believe it.

He thrust his last. She kissed him again as he spilled deep inside her. Once was not going to be enough.


Apollo: Did Dhurke just vomit into her?

Dhurke: ...

[The lights come on.]

Apollo: Oh, thank goodness. That's it.

Dhurke: I must say, the actor in that certainly portrayed me well! Did you see that glare, Apollo?

Apollo:(How can you think that!?)

Speakers: Glad you enjoyed it. Now, EJECT!

Dhurke: Huh? OUCH! What's this?

Phoenix: (Something just landed on his head..?)

Dhurke: Huh..it's a Magatama of Parting..?

Apollo: ...Well, I guess it's time to say goodbye, Dhurke.

Dhurke: Yes, I suppose so! See you in Khura'in, son! Ah hah ha ha ha hah hah...

WOOSH

...

...


Athena: Maya! You're back!

Maya: Huh..? I guess I am.

Speakers: Good job! Here, have a burger!

[As the Management utters those words, a burger appears on Ms. Fey's lap.]

Maya: Ooh! Yum yum yum! starts biting into it

Edgeworth: So, what is next?

Phoenix: And who will Maya be channeling this time?

Maya: chewing sounds That'sh a good queshtion, Nick. chewing sounds

Speakers: No one, actually. That's all you have to do for today.

Maya: ..What the heck do you mean, 'that's all'?! I'm not leaving. Get me another fic now!

Speakers: ...You sure?

Maya: I'm chewing sounds plenty sure! Give me my own fic!

Ema: Maya, are you sure?

Maya: Yeah! After all this time, I don't even get to spend any time with you guys? No way, Josè!

Speakers: Very well then. I'm having some trouble finding the juicy stuff, but I guess this'll have to do.

Maya: finishes her burger Yeah, let's see it then!

Phoenix: (That was...insanely fast!)

Prompt wrote:
Maya is accused of something ridiculously minor, like a parking violation. The patrol officer is very confused when she doesn't take the charge seriously.


Maya: Haha! I kinda like the sound of this one. Roll it already!

Speakers: Sheesh, fine. We heard you.

Apollo: ('We'..?)

Fic wrote:
"So I'm afraid I'll have to fine you one hundred and five dollars-"

"Really?" The young lady asked, with a big smile. "That's it?"


Ema: That is highway robbery. MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Athena: I don't get it.

Maya: I think the joke here I see I've been put on trial for murder so many times that such a minor violation of the law doesn't affect me. Right, Nick?

Phoenix: Uh-huh.

Apollo: What?!

Ema: How many times has Maya even been on trial?!

Edgeworth: I believe her first time was in 2016, for the murder of Mia Fey.

Phoenix: Then the next year was the murder of Turner Grey.

Maya: Then was the incident at Hazakura Twmple, though I technically wasn't the defendant in that one.

Ema: And then, most recently, you were held on trial in Khura'in for Tahrust Inmee's murder, correct?

Phoenix: There was also that one time in Labyrinthia, but I'm not sure if that counts-

Speakers: The Management requests the Sporkers to not ponder as to whether the crossover is canon. We're pretty sure it isn't.

Apollo: Well then, that adds to 4 times, at least!

Maya: Well, three and a half, since I wasn't the defendant in the Hazakurai Temple incident.

Apollo: (I noticed that that's the only case she didn't mention the victim for. I wonder why..?)

Maya: Anyway, that's the joke of this fic. Moving on...

Quote:
"...That's it?" Officer Penny Pinche winced. "Um. You did hear me, right?"

"Yeah, you want my money not my life. That's a way better deal than I usually get!"


Edgeworth: There is supposed to be a comma there in the second sentence.

Apollo: Penny Pinche? Really?

Ema: It makes sense when you take in how much she fined Maya.

Maya: Not to be confused with Penny Nichols, of course!

Phoenix: (Who?)

Edgeworth: (That name sounds rather familiar, but I just can't place it..)

Quote:
Penny blinked.

"I'm... not robbing you, or anything," she clarified, just in case Ms. Fey was confused. "I am actually a real police officer. A-and I understand how it might feel like highway robbery, I do! These fines are outrageous, but I'm really not in charge of them, all I can do is enforce them and you've left me no choice, you were going twenty over in a construction zone-"


Ema: See! Even she know she that those fines are terrible!

Maya: licks fingers Yeah, I kinda like this lady.

Phoenix: Enjoyed your burger, Maya?

Maya: Mm, yeah. It was good. The meat tasted a bit different, but I liked it.

Speakers: Oh, that was Gerald.

Maya: ..WHAT THE HECK?! I thought he was still alive!

Speakers: Nah, we sent him to the slaughterhouse last Tuesday. We were just using him as a false collateral.

Maya: ... looks at hands

Phoenix: Maya? Are you okay?

Edgeworth: I believe we should move on, and fast.

Quote:
"No, I get it, I totally get it," Ms Fey agreed. She clapped her hands together and nodded cheerfully. "Just doing your job, I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time, I totally understand. Or, right place, wrong speed. Anyway - you're not even going to handcuff me, is that right? I'm not being thrown in a cell or anything again?"


Apollo: Wait, I didn't even notice this. Since when does Ms. Fey have a car?

Edgeworth: She certainly didn't have one the last time I met her. (When she jumped in front of my car to ask me to drive her...)

Maya: ... murmur murmur

Quote:
Again? When she'd looked Ms. Fey's license up on her laptop in the car, it hadn't flagged any prior convictions or even any lost points on her driver's license. So what was this again business about?


Ema: So this is Maya's first fine?

???: Phoenix, what am I doing here?

Phoenix: !! M-Mia?! Chief?!

Mia: Well, I'm assuming Maya channeled me. It looks like it's been a whole, at least, since these robes perfectly fit me. Why, you look a little older too!

Phoenix: ...Y-yeah, it's been a while... (I guess Maya channeled her out of anger, huh.)

Mia: Oh, this place again. What are we watching this time?

Phoenix: Well, basically, Maya gets charged for a speeding ticket and..

Apollo: ? Athena. Is it just me or does Maya look a little different?

Athena: Yeah, a little. Though I guess this Gerald's death has made her a bit angry. Why do you ask?

Apollo: Well,it's just...Mr. Wright is talking to her so...respectfully.

Athena: As if he doesn't already do that?! Shame on you, Apollo! slap

Apollo: Ow!

Quote:
"I'd only need to arrest you if you didn't pay your fee," Penny explained. She decided that 'again' had been a slip of the tongue, and this girl simply watched too many bad crime shows, or something. She was a new driver after all, so this was probably her first time ever being pulled over. Her heart sunk in sympathy. "And even then, there would be this whole process - the fee would rise, you'd get a summons - you're not just going to get dragged away to prison on the spot!"

"Wow," Ms. Fey said, wide-eyed. "Wow, that is awesome."


Ema: I guess it must be a strange source of relief for her?

Mia: Four times?!

Phoenix: Technically five. But yeah, she's been through a lot, you know.

Quote:
"It's really very normal," Penny said. "And, um, not to be a downer, but you're going to have to pay us quite a lot of money - even the fine I gave you is going to get bumped up with different state and county penalties, unfortunately. And it will leave a mark on your record, so if you get pulled over again it'll probably be worse for you."

"Eh," Ms. Fey said. She shrugged nonchalantly, leaning out the car window. "I mean, that does suck, but I'll just... sell another priceless heirloom, or something."


Edgeworth: That does not seem in character for Ms. Fey. She has great pride in her heirlooms, and would not simply sell them away just for a mere fine.

Phoenix: You're right. Even if she tried to, those heirlooms are technically worth zilch.

Mia: Honestly, author's nowadays.

Apollo: (At least it wasn't as bad as the last one.)

Quote:
"Do you have a lot of those?!" Penny gasped. She really hadn't gotten any impression of this girl being rich, from her car or clothing or general demeanor...

"Well, yeah, tons of amazing cultural artifacts! Passed down through the family for tens of generations! I can usually get thirty bucks a pop for 'em if I'm lucky," Ms. Fey bragged.


Phoenix: Now the author is exaggerating.

Quote:
"I... see," Penny murmured, lost again. She half-wondered if she should be pulling out her Breathalyzer, but Ms. Fey looked and sounded lucid enough. Just odd, not intoxicated. She hadn't been driving erratically either - just too fast, probably because she hadn't noticed the speed limit going down a mile back, and then barrelled into the construction zone and into Penny's... well, speed-trap.

She hated having to do it, but her department needed the money from speeding tickets, and besides, people should just drive safely if they didn't want to pay. Just because Penny had sympathy for those suffering under California's outrageous speeding tickets, didn't mean she was going to stop doing her job of handing them out.


Mia: sigh

Athena: More like Japanifornia.

Speakers: The Sporkers will stop breaking the fourth wall.

Quote:
"So, um, anyway, just take this, and you'll be getting a notice from traffic court soon enough-"

She was cut off by a cloud of dust and a deafening SCREECH, as a tiny old bicycle skidded to a halt next to her. On it was a man in a blue suit, panting violently as he hung over the handlebars.


Phoenix: And there I am.

Athena: You ride a cycle, boss?

Phoenix: Yes. Do you have a problem with it?

Athena: N-no, just...it's an odd form of transportation and all.

Phoenix: ...Toilet duty, tomorrow morning.

Athena: Y-yes, boss.

Mia: You're still obsessed with cleaning the toilet, Phoenix?

Phoenix: The office has to be hygienic, Chief!

Quote:
"Stop," he gasped. "My - client's - innocent..."

"Oh, Nick!" Ms. Fey cried cheerfully. Then: "Oops. I forgot to call you back."

The blue-suited man ignored her, turning to Penny. "Please, officer," he gasped. "Don't arrest her again. She's never killed anyone - couldn't kill anyone! And I've already got two other cases right now, I really don't have time for this again."


Edgeworth: I think Wright is the victim of an innocent misunderstanding here.

Apollo: If Mr. Wright had two other cases, I'm pretty sure he'd give them to us.

Ema: That is, if this takes place when you're under him.

Phoenix: Nah, judging by the fact that Maya has a car, I'm pretty sure this takes place during our time.

Athena: It could be an AU, though.

Quote:
"I- um, again? -No, wait. I mean. Who are you, again?"

"Her lawyer," the lawyer explained, flashing the badge on his lapel. "And I assure you, sir, that Maya definitely did not do it! I'll prove it to you if I have to, but please don't make me have to!"

"...I clocked her speed myself, though," Penny said. She was sliding out of sympathy and into just plain bemusement at this point. This was the first time anyone had ever called their lawyer to the scene of a speeding ticket before, at least in her experience. And she really wasn't looking forward to arguing with a lawyer right now (or ever, really).


Mia: I would think at least Maya would know that speeding in a construction zone wouldn't land her in jail.

Quote:
"You may think that, but I promise the evidence will show- wait. What?" The lawyer blinked.

"Yeah, uh, sorry Nick," Ms. Fey interjected, leaning out her window to tug on his sleeve. "I'm not actually going to prison this time. Guess I jumped the gun calling you."

"...Maya. What did you do."


Edgeworth: That should end with a question mark.

Quote:
"Forty-five miles per hour in a twenty-five construction zone," Penny told him. She handed the ticket over to him. "Hundred and five dollar fine."

To his credit, the lawyer actually reacted like a normal person. He sucked a long, pained breath in between his teeth, and his following "Maya," was more wince than words.

"Yeah but no one's trying to hang me over it, for like the fifth time," she countered, as if that made any sense at all. Worse, her lawyer seemed to accept this reasoning, nodding grimly.


Phoenix: 'Fifth time'? Yeah, this takes place in our time.

Athena: OR she could be embellishing!

Quote:
"I... well, I'm just gonna go, then," Penny decided. She needed to get away from this before the lawyer decided to sue her for something. Or whatever madness was going on here managed to get her too and any of this started making sense. "Y'know, since I'm not arresting you, and all."

"Yeah, okay," Maya said. The lawyer looked down at the ticket in his hand and just sighed heavily. "Thanks for only taking my money. It was kind of a nice change."

"Y-you're welcome?" Penny cleared her throat. "Uh. Drive safe next time - slow in construction zones. Watch signs. Um, bye."


Maya: Geez, I wouldn't be that crazy.

Phoenix: Maya! You're back!

Maya: Yeah. sigh Sorry about that. It's just...Gerald..

Phoenix: Yeah, I get it. It's alright.

Maya: So where are we now?

Phoenix: Near the end.

Quote:
She spun on a heel and retreated to the safety of her patrol car, ignoring the cheerful goodbye called after her back. That girl was quite possibly not all right in the head - harmless, though.

"Weirdest ticket I ever gave," Penny muttered, starting the engine. At least she'd gotten a good story out of it, she supposed. Something to liven up a long shift of speeding tickets.

Still. 'Like five times'? What the hell.


Maya: So is the crossover canon in this fic?

Speakers: The Sporkers will refrain from breaking the fourth wall.

Ema: A long shift? But she was alone in that trap. Who would she tell it to?

[The lights come on.]

Maya: It's over?

Apollo: That was fast, at least.

Ema: See, Mr. Edgeworth? It wasn't that bad.

Edgeworth: I'm still holding my breath on that.

Athena: Yeah, what's next now?

Speakers: This one's pretty great. I think you'll enjoy it.

Phoenix: In this theatre? Not a chance.

Prompt wrote:
Suddenly, Miles tears his top off and starts dancing.


Edgeworth: ... (Somehow, I knew. I knew it was going to be one of these.)

Maya: Wait, that's all? No context or anything?

Speakers: Nope.

Phoenix: At least it's not the one we're you were paired up with a carrot, Edgeworth,

Edgeworth: Don't remind me.

Apollo, Athena, and Ema: ???

Speakers: Let's start, then.

Fic wrote:
The music continued undisturbed, bass pounding through the floor in a manner that was more tactile than audible. It was, however, completely ignored, as was everything but the sight of the prosecutor on the floor.


Edgeworth: wince

Phoenix: Aaaand just like the prompt, the fic just starts; no context needed.

Quote:
"Is that a... striptease?" Maya asked, eyes as wide as saucers.


Edgeworth: groan

Athena: Apollo? Do you think Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth is alright?

Apollo: I don't think he'd like to be disturbed any further, if you ask me. Those brows of his are more furrowed than usual.

Quote:
Ema, standing next to her, was merely making low-pitched wheezing noises and not apparently caring that she had crushed the paper cup in her hand and spilled vodka all over the place.


Ema: Wh-why am I wheezing? And what kind of bar serves drinks in a paper cup?

Apollo: Maybe it's a shotglass?

Quote:
Phoenix was making quite similar noises, and had apparently not paid particular notice to the face that he was currently wearing an untied cravat draped over his head


Phoenix: sigh

Maya: And I bet Mr. Edgeworth won't even get that cravat back.

Edgeworth: No. I hope I'll at least get that back in the end. (Please.)

Quote:
- though most people would probably have been distracted by a very drunk, and apparenly very happy, Miles Edgeworth giving the short distance between them a very explicit lapdance.


Phoenix and Maya: Pfffft...

Ema: That is...very explicit.

Edgeworth: ...They misspelled 'apparently', I see.

Quote:
In the kitchen, the only person who had not been captivated by the sight, Apollo was quietly emptying bottles into the sink, determined to prevent anyone else from being exposed to... whatever it was that had caused the party to derail.


Apollo: Thank goodness I'm sane, at least.

Athena: Kitchen? I don't think this is a bar, actually.

Maya: Maybe it's- pfft- Mr. Edgeworth's house?

Edgeworth: I refuse to believe that.

Quote:
It also meant that he missed the point where Edgeworth fell fully into Phoenix's lap, and what had up until then been a comparatively innocent dance became the moment where everyone spontanously developed nosebleeds.


Phoenix: You just had to sneak one in there didn't you?

Speakers: Hey, don't look at us. We're just the hosts.

Maya: Pffffffttttttah ahahahahahaahahaa! AHAHA AAHAHAHAHAHAHAA HEEHEEEHEE! This is friggin' hilarious, Nick!

Phoenix: Maya? Are you alright?

Maya: Look at Drunkworth over there! He can barely contain himself. Look at him blushing at you!

Edgeworth: D-Drunkworth?

Maya: And then..then everyone gets nosebleeds, as if this is some freaking anime! Ahaha hahahahaha! HAAAAaaaah...Oh, if only Apollo was here...

Apollo: (At least someone seems to be enjoying this..)

Quote:
(thankfully, Edgeworth remembered nothing the next morning, though he did have to leave the party without his cravat, and everyone that had been present vowed to never inform him of what had happened - some things were best left as nothing but memories, even if it did take them all a month before they could look him in the eye again without blushing)


Phoenix, Maya, and Ema: Pffft.

Edgeworth: Et tu, Ema?

Athena: Well, you didn't even get back your cravat. What a pity.

Edgeworth: Nggh! penalty Ughhh.... faints

[The lights co-]

Speakers: Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! We can't have the lights come on while our Spork Bitch is still unconscious!

[Oh, sorry. The lights stay off.]

Apollo: (Did they just really do that?)

Speakers: Now, electrocute!

[Electricity pulses through Edgeworth's seat, but as it does, the power goes off!]

Speakers: Hngh! What the hell?! That isn't supposed to happen! ...Wait, the cuffs!

Phoenix: Of course! We're free!

Athena: What?! Then let's get outta here!

Maya: Sure, why not?

Apollo: Ow! Owowowowowowow! My foot! My foot! Aargh..!

Ema: But...Mr. Edgeworth! He's still unconscious!

???: We have no time for him right now! Now, here's the rope ladder! Now, go!

Maya: Thanks! You really helped us!

Phoenix: How can we repay you?

???: Eheheh. It was nothing, Mr. Wright. In fact, I'm doing this to repay you.

Phoenix: Oh, that? Well..

Athena: We'll talk about that later! Everyone, let's get outta here!

Apollo: Waitwaitwait! I'm still coming! (Ow! My foot still hurts!)

[And just as the group leaves, the lights come on. It seems that the only people who didn't escape were Edgeworth (who's still unconscious at the moment), and the old man in the yellow suit (who appears to be in a deep sleep).]

Speakers: Dammit, they escaped! Who helped them!?

[We don't know at the moment, sir. But it is likely that they sabotaged everything today. The teleporting device, the film, and even the Great Revival Machinery™.]

Speakers: Hmm. According to our men, they were all guarding the power box rather well. So someone sabotaged the Great Revival Machinery™ so that it would cause a blackout when it was used just once, rather than four times. Then the cuffs would be removed automatically, and then everyone would escape successfully. We can't even teleport them back, since the device is malfunctioning. I think I have an idea of who this mystery saboteur is.

[Who do you think it is, sir?]

Speakers: Never mind that! Our Sporkers are awakening!

???: Uegh...what is this place?

Edgeworth: wakes up and groans Is it over yet?

???: ! Chief Prosecutor! What are you doing over here?

Edgeworth: Ah, Mr. Janitor. You've awoken, I see.

???: ? I'm not-

Edgeworth: Where have the others gone?

???: What others, sir?

Edgeworth: Tch. (It appear he, too, just woke up.)

Speakers: We don't really know why they escaped. Honestly. We were saving the best for last, too. But with Winston over here instead, I guess this fic will have to do instead.

Winston: What are they talking about, sir?

Edgeworth: Who knows, really.

Prompt wrote:
When Winston learns what his brother attempted to do to Phoenix in Khura'in, he actually visits the Wright Anything Agency to personally apologize. Winston may not be the nicest of prosecutors but he's not a heartless monster.


Winston: W-what?? I didn't hear of this!

Edgeworth: Your brother?

Winston: Y-yes. Gaspen Payne, sir.

Edgeworth: Ah, yes. Gaspen Payne. (Prosecutor Payne's brother is the janitor?) Well, let me fill you in. After he was fired due to reasons I cannot personally disclose currently, Prosecutor Oayne fled to Khura'in, and assumed the position of Chief Prosecutor there.

Winston: Well, yes, I know that, but what did he try to do to Mr. Wright, sir?

Edgeworth: Wright stood in the Khura'inese court as the defence attorney in one of his cases. The penalty in Khura'in for losing a trial there as the defence attorney...is death.

Winston: What?! But...surely, sir...maybe he didn't know?

Edgeworth: That is not the case. As the crowd shouted for Wright's death, your brother joined in. Thankfully, he lost the case, allowing Wright to go free. But there were quite a few moments where Wright put his life on the line before that.

Winston: ...

Speakers: Let's start the fic, shall we?

Fic wrote:
While Winston Payne may be quite a... Payne in the ass to deal with


Winston: groan That isn't funny.

Edgeworth: Tasteless, in fact.

Quote:
- and he's especially a pain in the ass for defense attorneys, his fellow prosecutors, personal injury attorneys, plaintiffs, witnesses, judges, bailiffs, etc. - he is by no means completely heartless.


Winston: What a backhanded compliment!

Edgeworth: (Fellow prosecutors? What are they talking about?) Were you a prosecutor before, Mr. Payne?

Winston: W-what? Sir! Did you forget?

Edgeworth: Forget what? (I suppose he could have been a prosecutor when I was about 20 or so...)

Winston: Sir! 'The Rookie Killer'! Doesn't that ring a bell?

Edgeworth: I cannot say it does.

Winston: !?

Quote:
And even though Winston doesn't necessarily have much of a high opinion on Attorney Phoenix Wright, he respects him as a rival.


Winston: Yes, indeed! Did you know, sir? I was Phoenix Wright's mentor.

Edgeworth: Were you now? (I don't recall Wright ever speak of this man before, let alone mention him.)

Winston: I was! I taught him all I knew.

Edgeworth: Oh? Interesting. (So is he the reason Wright has a strange obsession for cleaning toilets?)

Quote:
So when the news has recently broke out that the younger one of the Payne brothers, Gaspen Payne, had practically commissioned for Phoenix's execution in Khura'in about four months ago, Winston decides to call Gaspen himself.


Winston: Which is the first thing I'm going to do after this ends!

Edgeworth: (He seems rather agitated about this. Not that I blame him.)

Quote:
Dialing his brother's phone number, the instant Gaspen picks up the call, Winston is swift to castigate him for his nonchalant attitude at threatening Phoenix with an ultimatum like it was nothing serious. And it was his blasé carelessness for other people's lives that had nearly disbarred him, if it's not for the fact that he's sought asylum in a faraway land.


Edgeworth: While I agree with what is being said, I do wish that the author would... word it less pretentiously. Purple prose is rather unimpressive in my eyes.

Winston: I'll have to remember what I'm telling on the screen when I get back home.

Quote:
After five more minutes of verbally tearing his brother a new one, Winston hangs up the call, fuming. He rushes for his keys, tells his wife that he'll be back in about an hour, heads to his car, and then inputs Wright Anything Agency into his GPS.

The drive to the WAA office ends up taking thirty minutes, but Winston manages to arrive at a reasonable time. Running up a seemingly endless flight of stairs, however, takes a bit of effort.


Winston: I don't have a car with all that fancy-schmancy GPS nonsense!

Edgeworth: (I don't think Wright's office is that high. Though it has been a while since I have been there.)

Quote:
Once he's finally outside the law firm's door, he knocks thrice. To his luck, Phoenix opens the door. More to his luck, he actually remembers his name.


Winston: winces Sir, am I actually that forgettable?

Edgeworth: It is alright, Mr. Payne. Your services do not go unnoticed.

Winston: R-Really, sir?

Edgeworth: After all, it is you who always manages to keep the Prosecutor's Office clean. That too, daily!

Winston: Oof! wince

Edgeworth: ? What is it?

Winston: Um...nothing, sir. sigh

Quote:
"Err, Prosecutor Payne? What are you doing here?" Phoenix asks, his left eyebrow raised.

Winston wastes little time to explain why he's taken the time to drive all the way to the law firm. "Well, Mr. Wright, I just heard that a while back, my brother, Gaspen, was trying to kill you."

"Uhm," Phoenix balks. At first, he's not entirely sure what Winston was talking about when he said that Gaspen 'wanted to kill him,' but he assumes that he's talking about the incident in Khura'in. "Oh, you mean the trial in Khura'in where I faced off against him?"

"Yes," Winston nods. He fixes his glasses and sighs deeply. "I just wanted to apologize for my little brother's stupidity. I know he's too inept to do it himself, so I drove all the way here to say sorry on his behalf."

"... O - Okay? Thanks, I guess?" Phoenix scratches the back of his head.


Winston: Where is Mr. Wright, incidentally?

Edgeworth: I'm...not entirely sure myself. I can give you his address, however.

Winston: Thank you, sir.

Quote:
"No problem," says Winston. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head back home. Farewell, Mr. Wright. I'll see you in court again one day."

Before Phoenix can say anything, Winston has already dashed away, disappearing like the wind. He's not sure what to make sense of what just happened, especially when all that just happened in a matter of seconds. But he's thankful (sorta?) for that... apology of sorts.


Edgeworth: ? How will you two see each other in court, anyway?

Winston: Sir...I'm a prosecutor. Under you.

Edgeworth: ! But I thought you were the janitor?

Winston: ...The name of the janitor is Winston Pane, sir. Pane without a Y.

Edgeworth: ...Ah! I see. My apologies. They-

Winston: No, no. Never mind. Forget it.

Quote:
Maybe he can properly thank Winston later in a private conversation - or perhaps, he can at least return the toupee on the floor that has gracefully fallen off Winston's head mid apology.


Winston: What?! I don't wear a toupee! This hair is 100% natural! whips hair back and forth

Edgeworth: Yes, indeed. I can tell.

[The lights come on, and Edgeworth's cuffs come off.]

Edgeworth: Ah, thank goodness. To be freed of these...

Speakers: Well, that was a disappointing ending. Whatever. You can leave now. *click*

Winston: Sir?

Edgeworth: Yes?

Winston: Did you come here by car?

Edgeworth: Correct. I can take you home, if you so wish.

Winston: That would be appreciated, sir. But I wish to go somewhere else first.

[And thus our two remaining sporkers leave the theatre, exhausted. This ends the 5th Kink Meme Special. We hope you enjoyed!]

...

...

[...Meanwhile, a few streets away..]

How many much is there to go again?

Relax, Nick! Just a mile more and we'll be there!

So...tired....foot....hurts...

Come on! You're still going on about that foot!? I already apologised!

Really? Are you sure you saved Mr. Edgeworth?

Yeah! Of course, just like I saved you guys! There was a Bad Badger mask next to him, and he was making some funny noises. You all should've been there.

I dunno, I just can't see Mr. Edgeworth like that. Chew chew chew chew

Wait, we're finally here!

Daddy! Polly! Athena! You're finally all home! What took you guys so long?

huff puff It's...a long story, honey. I'll tell you later. Anyway, time to wrap up for today.

Wait, what's that car over there? It looks a bit familiar...

! That's Mr. Edgeworth's car!

SWOOSH

What the-?! Why are you here, of all people?!

Aw, there's no need to be so rude about it, Uncle Edgeworth!

Wait, it's the old man from earlier! Why's he here?

Mr. Wright. I just came here to apologise for what my brother tried to do to you in Khura'in. I know he said too inept to do it himself, so I asked the Chief Prosecutor to drive me here to apologise myself.

Um...thanks, I guess?

No problem. Now if you excuse me, I must be going home. Good bye, Mr. Wright. I hope to see you again in court one day.
...Was that how it went? Regardless, see you in court.


Erm, okay.

I suppose I'll leave now. Anyone else wants to get dropped off?

Ooh, me!

Me too!

Can I join in?

...I don't mind.

Thanks for the help, Mr. Edgeworth! I'll be coming in too, then.

That's all of you, then. See you later, Wright.

Don't forget me!

WOOSH

That was weird, daddy. Do you know who that old guy was?

...Yeah. I guess you could say so. (I'll be sure to thank him some day.)


END


Good grief that was long. As always, constructive criticism is appreciated. I might've overdone it for this one. Regardless, it was fun to write. See you later.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

Spoiler: With apologies to Dr. Ocsid
DarkAgea wrote:
Quote:
I think the reason why I like Cowboy Up more is because I'm more familiar with the AJ cast by this point (Apollo, Ema, Trucy, Klavier) than I am with the OT cast. And also because of the fic's nature. Good freaking grief.


Oh... What about now?
And yeah, considering MRA was written in jest and Cowboy Up was quite serious and... kinda scary with its message. still can't believe Neil did that...


Yeah, it's really really sporkable. There was even a huge argument over it on the original page, which raised a good few of the points I did. Also, earlier someone said it was too short and should be kept as part of a double feature. Instead the opposite happened, and it had to be broken into two parts. To be honest, I don't really regret that. I liked that I was doing something different, imo.

Quote:
Quote:
Ikr barrylawn is my waifu


Okay then...


I have a body pillow of him in my room


Actually since I don't know what he looks like it's just a normal pillow with 'barrylawn' written on it in permanent marker. But still

Quote:
Quote:
I mean, there wasn't much left of the fic, so I felt that I might as well have completed it for all to see.


Oh. Now since that's over, when can we expect the next sporking?


Yesterday. *smirk*

Quote:
Quote:
You're welcome. I did have trouble writing Franziska and sometimes Gumshoe, but it seems that you enjoyed them regardless.


You did? It didn't seem like that to me at all.


I did. Basically, I have a caricature of each character I'm writing in mind, and go with that. Gumshoe and Franziska were tough to write because they were rather unique.

Quote:
How did you choose Gerald's name? I mean, was there any reason behind it?


Gerald is rather posh. Quite fitting for a donkey.

Quote:
And by next, you mean the Kink Meme Special, don't you? I'm looking forward to it a lot. :pearl:


Did you like his special appearance? I really worked on it a lot. :D

Quote:
Quote:
As(s) if.


... It was my foally to ass-ume otherwise.


That's a horseshίt pun. I don't mean to equine, but you have to work as hard as a mule if you want to make better puns.

....Wait, wrong thread.

Quote:
Quote:
Good to know that all that filler wasn't for nothing!

Now that I think about it, I do always make really long beginnings and endings. I guess it's because just *sporkers enter/leave* feels rather vanilla.


It's always fun to have filler between characters, because it really gives a good start to the whole sporking. And sometimes, there are gems in the beginning filler. Literal gems.


Literal gems?! Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Gosh, now I have to go loooking in previous sporkings for amethysts and topazes and emeralds and rubies and sapphires and garnets and opals and diamond and eyes of the tiger and OH GOD GIVE ME A SECOND


.....you were exaggerating, weren't you?

Quote:
And yeah, that is rather vanilla. The ending lends a lot to the feeling we have once we finished (to make it clearer, 'In The Role of a Gavin' had a very sweet friendship finish that lets go on a happy note).


I prefer Love is Magical's ending myself, but I agree with you otherwise. I really want to go for more of an emotional ending for my next sporking.

Quote:
Quote:
I was originally going to penalise Edgeworth for this, but then I realised it's a tired concept by this point. So I just put him...on edge.

Sorrystillnotsorry


*sighs*
It was really worth it, though.


Yeah, I'm glad I went the extra mile for that.

Quote:
Quote:
How else do you expect him to find the ass?! This is super serious business, and the most important part of this is to identify what the fic considers 'the ass'.


Yes, the case of the ass is a big problem, but Edgeworth could just accept that his logic cannot be applied to the world of barrylawn - let it go and move on. That's what I did, anyway.


He just doesn't want to be seen as an Assworth, you get me?

Quote:
Quote:
So you just skimmed through the fic and decided to send it to me?

Don't worry I skimmed through it too


Well, umm... Yes...

Good to know that.


Smooth :P

But I recommend reading them a bit more thoroughly if it isn't a trollfic. I made a similar mistake with the Baby Chronicles, and paid the price dearly.

Quote:
Quote:
Hoor(K)ay!

Sorrybutalwaysnotsorry


'Kay, I can take this Faraday.


Can Yew? That's pretty Badd, Mann. Usually most people Byrne upon contact with them.

Quote:
Quote:
This is actually my first time writing Kay normally. I had some trouble with her in some parts, and had to make her leave after a while. Glad to see you liked her.


... It was...?
Kay's appearance was as dynamic as expected, and I like how she immediately gave Gumshoe a refill. And even if she did leave after some time, at least she did appear. That's more than enough for me.


Yeah, it was. She appeared in TBC-4, but as a captive. This is my first time just having her casually appear and spork. Glad you enjoyed it.

Quote:
Quote:
Chronological order. I-2->I-3->I-1->I-5->AAI2 (whose playing order=chronological order, other than some parts of the third case surprisingly).


Ohhh, I didn't notice that. I was thinking about playing order, rather than chronological one. It makes a lot more sense now. Those parts of the third case were flashbacks... though we still played through them...
...why the surprise?


Ayup.

I'm surprised because there weren't originally too many AA games whose case order matched their chronological order. Nowadays half of them occur properly. AAI2 was a surprise back then.

Quote:
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Phoenix is always rather good at pointing out what should be obvious.


Extremely. In everything.

(Though suddenly I get this image of 'You are lovers, aren't you?')


Yeah. That's canon

Quote:
Quote:
Ha ha, the Kink Meme. I'm going through it now as we speak, and gosh is it a great place for fic's. Already stumbled upon some gold mines. If you find any that might be worth sporking, please do contact me.


I will. Though I'm sure anything I find will have already been taken by you, considering I don't go there that much...


I did find some gold there. Not literally, mind you. But still, some good stuff. Maybe I should browse there for my next sporking. :]

Quote:
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That would've been bad(ass).

Sorrynotsorry


Asstrology will not favour Phoenix.


You know if Phoenix went into space, he'd be an asstronaut.

Quote:
Quote:
But they don't know each other.


That's why I trailed off like that. Wondering if the two could have some relation...
(This is insane, but bear with me-) What if de Killer had been asked to assassinate Tigre by somebody who borrowed money, and Tigre caught wind of that and then attacked the ice-cream stand in order to break de Killer's disguise?


Quote:
assassinate


Quote:
ass ass inate


...Wow. Just for that alone, I'll agree with you.

Does that mean if de Killer had a clone, they'd be two in(n)ate asses? Ass ass inate?

Incredible

Quote:
Quote:
That story in a nutshell:

*somestuff*

Did I do a good?


You did a brilliant.
It really captured the essence of the fic, and can be used as a simple short summary for it.


Thanks. Here's mayo's rattelsnek advuntre in a nutshell:

Quote:
yamo: i love u penix here my snek

cnik: wut faints

det. jeuss: no burger girl snek is love snek is lyf

yummylicious: k kissy snek OH NO I DIE

dolan turnip: MWHAHAAHAH I AM THE EVIL

teh reel auttunoe juess: NO TURMP I DAM U TO HECK

dolores trumpbridge: nuuuuu

myoa: hey im alive again mrary meh cnik

ponic: no i love eggworthy

maia: NO U I KILL

photix: nuuuuuuu

pee lots and ample standings: lol


Did I do a better?

Quote:
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Yeah. Donno how that escaped me.


It's easy to miss a hyphen. It wasn't that much of an issue.


Surprised you noticed that but not 'donno' :p

been playing too much VLR, I guess

Quote:
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Aw, don't worry you only have Turnabout egg, the really bad Phoenix/Angelique one, and the final part of the Baby Chronicles left!


From you, that is. There's still 'BAROK VAN ZEIKS FIND LUV11!'
And that amounts to four, and I'm sure by the time I complete one, you'll bring out the Special.

lol u didnt even finish 1 get rektangular

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Quote:
Sadly, while May was a good month for sporking, I'll be returning to work in June, and won't have much time to spork from then on until much later. :larry: I'll try and finish the other sporking before that, I guess. Have fun reading the others.


You have work? ... You always seemed like an insanely free spirit to me. Take your time and scour for the best (sporkable) fics possible.
And I know I'll have fun.


Yes, I do. What, did you imagine me as a 20-something unemployed man living in his mother's basement or something?

Luckily I got promoted today (<3), so I get to start work a week later than most of the others.

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes. As for what I'm planning to spork next...


I'm looking for some 6-2 related fics, just so you know. I've found a Trucy x Bonny one (but it's incomplete and there's not much to spork), a Retinz x Bonny AND Betty one (but it's heavily NSFW), a fic where Phoenix comes and punches Retinz in the face (which is too flawless to spork) and ROGER RETINZ ESCAAPS FROM PRISOOON (self explanatory) so far. Please inform me if you find any. I could use a couple to spork.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

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Spoiler:
HeroMan66475 wrote:
Quote:
Gods, Monokuma is doing this to me before I even began. His theatre for despair is definitely working.


That's monokuma for you, a bunch of despair, dirty jokes and out of whack holy shit moments.
Image
Image
like these... :cody-shock2:

Quote:
The world being fucked over? Oh dear...


HUGE HUGE spoiler that is...

Quote:
But you succeeded in that quite well! I don't think I forgot Payne or Sahwit was there while reading.


That would be a miracle for Payne especially...

Quote:
You could use CR's spellchecker. Or... I think CR has a spellchecker, because red lines show up sometimes while I'm writing these reviews.


i do sometimes...other times i don't know i add the typos.

Quote:
He... has a lot of problems. I don't have anything more to say to that.


yeah, nagito is really fucked up.

Quote:
That would be cool! I always appreciate references to previous sporkings. ...maybe because realising they're there makes me feel smart...


smartness is a conspiracy, everyone is an idiot.

Quote:
I should really play it. I've heard a lot about it, but Monokuma cinches my decision. I love characters like him; they're always so much fun.


Yes it is. Also i find the impact of monokuma better if his theme song is in the backgorund...i also recomend you re-read the monokuma parts of the sporking but with his theme in the background.

Quote:
Oh, so that's why. But it's still a good idea for younger sporkers. (Out of nowhere, I wish young!Miles, young!Larry and young!Nick would appear in the theatre for a sporking... it would be awesome.)


hm....sounds like a plan.

Quote:
Because while the sporkers are drowning in despair, the Management and we are like Monokuma - enjoying in the negative feelings that emanate from them. Although sometimes I've come close to feeling utter despair. (Phoenix Drive, oh gods...)


ugh pheonix drive...

Quote:
It's epic that Monokuma has an actual theatre. It makes him even better Management material!


sure does!

Quote:
I thought he'd splutter or do Edgey-noises like he does. Though anger is just as good a reaction...


the NGHOOOOOOO is too good for this fic.

Quote:
Now everything makes more sense. Would it be correct if I equate Byakuya with Sasuke and Toko with Sakura (from the anime Naruto)?


kinda like that, except Byakuya being the ultinmate smartass rich kid (actually he's the "ultimnate afluent proginy.....yeah he's OP as fuck, but that's byakuya in a nutshell)

Quote:
Oh. :oops:
I didn't know much about him, so I thought he actually meant it.


Yeah, imagine saying that unironically in THAT situation.

Quote:
I loved the sporking of 'Breathing is a Necessity', and this reminded me of that (Phoenix possibly referring to that and Edgeworth being like 'don't you dare'). Like I said, connecting sporkings makes me feel smart...


i didn't know i made a refrence to that spork...should actually read that spork soon.

Quote:
I always have those kind of moments...


everyone does.

Quote:
Yeah, that is perfect as it needs to be in speech format, but I meant you could have given something about the AA sporkers in narration. I was wondering what happened to them...


thought it was obviouse, the left, went to their own worlds and did their usual thing.

Quote:
I read that, and I have to say that was really amazing! I seriously loved the character interactions, though you would have to note the spoiler in it.

Also... as a side-note: I checked Barok van Zieks online since I got confused about how to spell his name and guess what? Apparently, his name is 'Zieks' and not 'Zeiks'.


well shit, thanks anyway! :karma:

Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

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*sigh* just put a spoiler in everything......ugh
gyess that's no more fun convos with darkagea now.....
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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I mean, as long as it remains on topic (I.e.sporkings and such) and if it's in spoiler tags, it should be fine.
A great man once wrote:
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Yes taking the time to put unnecessarily long post in spoiler tags completely takes the fun out of these conversations Hero.
It takes half a second of ctrl+a and a mouse click. pls.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

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arrow....i finished putting spoiers in my long posts.....bruh
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I'll make myself 120% clear this time, then.

HeroMan66475 wrote:
gyess that's no more fun convos with darkagea now.....


KEK!

Noone's stopping you from having these fun fun conversations, just put the next ones in spoiler tags so noone else has to scroll through them.
Hexepta: Mayor Attack
A fangame of an unreleased AA-like game, Hexepta: Logic Hack. Follow my fangame to give the official one attention and make it world famous when it's released.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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welp
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

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Yeah, while you have your fun conversations, I'll just continue sporking.

Today's sporking will be a double feature. The fics are...

Aromatherapy and Javaccino by jen0va99

And...

How the HELL did this Happen by onecoolc

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:

Um..yeah. I'm giving these the same ratings for similar reasons. These fics ship Godot with Armstrong and Larry respectively. One Sahwit for the bizzarely random pairings, one for the blatant OOCness shown by the characters, and one more just for the unnecessary profanity.

Today's Sporkers are...

:nick: - "Hooray, hooray. Always nice to come back here again."

:butzthumbs: - "Yo, Nick! What's up, palio?"

:whip: - "Larry Butz, I will not tolerate any sort of tomfoolery from you this time! Understand?"

And...

:godot: - "Heh. Always nice to have a break from the drab grey prison walls."

Let's start the sporking!

Spoiler:
[It's another normal day in the Sporking Theatre, where Phoenix and Larry are in their seats making small talk.]

Phoenix: Uh huh. And what happened after your attempts to hit on Linda failed?

Larry: Oh man, Nick! I was lost then! A little lost lamb in a lonely field! I would never made it if it hadn't been for Violetta! You should meet her sometime, Nick! She's the most beautiful person on earth!

Phoenix: Uh-huh. Oh really? (I don't think I can take much more of this.)

Larry: Yeah, and she's the smartest person I've ever known! She really is- wait a second! Is that you, Franzy- whip crack YAOOOOWWWWWWWCCHHHH!

Franziska: Larry Butz! You will not refer to me by that foolish nickname again! Understand!

Larry: whimper But I thought we had something going..

Phoenix: (So much for Violetta, I guess.) Anyway, is that all of us?

Franziska: No, there is one more, Phoenix Wright. I have heard that the Management is bringing in a special guest from prison for this sporking.

Phoenix: Huh. (Who could it be?)

[Just on time, one of Agent Lang's men comes in with Godot, coffee in hand, who then promptly sits down; cuffed to his seat.]

Franziska: What the?

Phoenix: Prosecutor Godot! What are you doing here?

Godot: Isn't it obvious, Mr. Wright? I'm here to join your little group and play your little game. sips coffee

Man: I trust that shall be all, sir?

Franziska: Yes. You may leave now.

Man: Yes, sir! leaves

Larry: Aw man, I'm stuck with you again?! Just as my dreams of being with Franzy were coming true too- whip crack OOWWWWWCHHH!

Franziska: Larry Butz! What did I just say to you?!

Phoenix: Well, um...I guess that's all of us, right?

Speakers: Correct! Let us start, shall we? Today we shall be having a double feature, both featuring Mr. Godot here.

Godot: Interesting. sips coffee

Phoenix: A double feature? (Just great.)

Speakers: Yes, indeed! It's the Godot Dualogy, as we say! Or the Godouology!

Larry: Go-dough-you-all-orgy?

Phoenix: No, Larry. sigh It's Go-dough-eulogy. There's no 'r' sound.

Larry: Aw. That doesn't sound half as fun, Nick!

Godot: Petty pronunciation problems aside, shall we start now?

Franziska: Yes, let us before this fool starts wondering how to pronounce his own name.

Quote:
Aromatherapy and Javaccino


Franziska: A-Aromatherapy?

Larry: Javaccino?

Phoenix: Wait. Is this involving the Très Bien case?

Larry: Is that some fancy French restaurant, Nick?

Godot: Très Bien? Ha..! I actually miss that godforesaken place, coffee and all.

Phoenix: (Sheesh, he doesn't like the coffee they serve at prison, apparently.)

Quote:
DISCLAIMER: Capcom's. I really apologize.


Godot: Ha..! Already the author is apologising. What a great start.

Phoenix: What an odd way to say that this doesn't belong to them.

Quote:
It was all the fault of the Elg case that he even deigned himself to enter the froofy pink restaurant again, now that it was all squared away. All that talk of "javaccino", as the old man called it, made Godot curious to try it. Although he was a man who liked his coffee strong, black, and of his own personal blend, Godot had been seduced by it, tempted by the dark 8-dollar goddess brewed at Très Bien.


Godot: Did the author forget that I already have tried the coffee at Très Bien?

Phoenix: And did they forget that it costs a lot more there?

Larry: Psst. Hey, Nick. What's 'froofy'?

Phoenix: Huh? Oh, it means something like fancy, or frilly. Kinda like Franziska's atti- whip crack YAAOOOOW!

Franziska: Did you really think you could get away with that, Phoenix Wright?

Quote:
A bell above the door chimed as he stepped in. The place reeked—roses, everywhere, in fine vases, all over the tables, near the cash register, even patterned in the wallpaper. Just one whiff made him want to hightail it out of there, and thinking of the restaurant's owner gave Godot the chills.

But that coffee… temporary salvation. He craved it, now.


Franziska: Why are the tables all empty?

Phoenix: Suffice it to say, it doesn't get a lot of business. Mainly due to the food.

Godot: If the coffee doesn't taste good, then don't drink it. That's one of my rules. sips coffee

Phoenix: (What an odd rule.)

Quote:
"Bienvenue à Très Bien!" came the unmistakable voice of said owner. Godot felt the predicted shiver run up his spine.

Everything about the man was off-putting; his stature, his rosy stink, the curls and the general femininity a man of that size should never, ever exude. Godot tilted his head back, hands tucked away in his pockets, and sauntered towards Jean.


Larry: Ooh, that's a pretty lady, Nick!

Phoenix: That's a man, Larry.

Larry: Wait, are you kidding?

Godot: I don't blame you for thinking so, Butz.

Phoenix: (I mean...the beard kinda gives it away, though.)

Quote:
"Ah, z'e prosecutor! Monsieur Godot, non?" Jean waved him over to one of the empty tables and patted the seat. "Z'is is a surprise! 'andsome as ever, I see."

Godot took a cursory look around. "No waitresses on duty?"


Phoenix: I see at least Ms. Byrde had the common sense to leave after everything. ...Actually, why is Mr. Armstrong even here? I thought after what happened-

Godot: Actually, he had to resign after what happened. He passed it on to someone else. sips coffee

Quote:
"Non," Jean pouted, tugging a rose from the pocket of his outfit, "just moi for z'e day. Z'e customers are still lacking."

"I don't need your life story," Godot said, taking the proffered seat—the one Glen Elg happened to die in, he noted. "Just a coffee. Sans poison."

"Excellente choice! Excuse moi, I must brew la nouveau pot."


Larry: Isn't that bad luck?

Godot: Sans poison? I doubt there's much of a difference with or without it.

Phoenix: (Harsh.)

Quote:
"Ha…" Godot took in the place. Girly as it was the last time he came, accented everywhere with little knickknacks and flowers, French fashion magazines, lacy curtains, jingling music that irritated him to no end. The place certainly put the "gay" in "gay Paris".


Phoenix: Umm...whip crack Oww!

Franziska: Phoenix Wright! Gay refers to cheerful, or light hearted! Do you understand?!

Phoenix: (I wasn't even going to say anything! ...Okay, maybe I was.)

Quote:
The kitchen door swung open and Jean was back, holding something in his oddly feminine hands.

"What is that thing?" he asked as Jean rounded his table.

"Z'is 'ere is jasmine wiz un peu essence of patchouli." Jean presented the small, decorative blue bottle. "I could see it in la body language. You need relief for la tension, non? A massage wiz z'is and voilà! Revigorerais!"


Larry: Wait, did I miss something? Why's the pink chef offering him a massage?

Godot: When asking for coffee, don't expect anything other than coffee. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: ! (I see where this is going, and I don't like it one bit.)

Quote:
"Ha…!" Godot tipped his head, wary now of the other man. "Let me get this straight. You're offering me a massage, Mr. Armstrong?"

"Oui, oui, z'at is, if you would like?" Jean smiled, fingering the bottle coquettishly.

Godot crossed his arms, looking Jean up and down, sizing him up. The smile, the curly beard, ridiculous hat and hair told him no, no, no he did not want a massage or anything else Jean was offering.


Phoenix: Good, good, good. Now leave the restaurant and never come back.

Quote:
"Never let a man bigger than you give you a massage. That's one of my rules."

With a deep pout on his pink lips, Jean whimpered, "Alors! Monsieur Godot, I am but a little girl! Is z'is 'ow you perceive moi?" Shaking his head, he added, "La brute I am not!"

"You're no kitten, either."


Godot: Ha..! Kitten, eh? Clever.

Larry: Nick, is this how this guy actually behaves like?

Phoenix: Yes.

Quote:
Jean looked close to tears. "Mon Dieu! 'ow rude!" He slapped Godot on the shoulder with a long-stemmed rose for emphasis.


Franziska: Why is he slapping him now? That is impolite.

Phoenix: (Says the lady with the whip.)

Quote:
Godot brushed a stray petal from his vest. "Nice girls don't hit, Mr. Armstrong. Now," he said, giving the table an impatient tap, "my coffee."

"Ah! Z'at is right, z'e coffee!"


Godot: Good, you remembered. sips coffee

Quote:
Jean opened the blue bottle and placed it on Godot's table before toddling off to the kitchen. Godot sniffed inelegantly; the smell of the oil plus the overbearing scent of rose perfuming the place all clashed together. He waved his hand towards to bottle in an attempt to waft the stink away. It was dizzying.

After a while Godot stopped trying to evade the smell; like the past, it kept coming back to haunt him. He was starting to get used to it, anyway—either that, or it was strong enough to kill off his sense of smell. Godot would never understand this "aromatherapy" thing. Mia tried explaining the concept to him once, in his previous life, but he never went for it. The only thing he wanted to smell was the scent of the blackest brewed coffee…

…or, perhaps, Mia.


Franziska: !

Phoenix: !

Godot: !

Larry: ..?

Quote:
"Monsieur Godot, la coffee is ready!"

Jean precariously balanced the flowered cup and saucer on a matching serving platter as he waggled his way back to Godot's seat. Godot glanced into the cup.

"Plain black?"

"Oui, oui! Sans addition!"

Godot took a sip.

"I 'ave used only z'e best beans, ground by 'and. La coffee is satisfactory, non?"

He swallowed. It wasn't as good as any of his own personal blends, but there was sure as Hell no way he'd pay eight dollars for something like this ever again. Especially not out of a cup that looked like it belonged in a little girl's tea set.


Godot: That is but a mere understatement.

Quote:
"Ha…"

Jean pressed his fingers together nervously. "Your opinion, s'il vous plaît…?"

"…ha."

"Monsieur Godot!"

"Don't you know not to interrupt a man when he's drinking his coffee?"

"Ah, my apologies. Allow moi to sit, z'en, as you enjoy."

Uninvited, Jean sat in the seat opposite Godot, watching him drink out of the absurd cup. Godot absently wondered if he should have his pinky raised or not as he drank.


Phoenix: Is that even allowed?

Larry: Well, no one else is really there, Nick.

Franziska: That is no excuse for simply lazing around! whip crack

Quote:
"Ah, z'e smell of z'e jasmine and patchouli… très relaxing." Jean took a big whiff of the stuff in the bottle, broad chest puffing out comically far as he smelled. "Are you sure you will not indulge yourself in la massage?"

Godot stayed silent.

"I am, 'ow do you say wizout sounding vulgaire… ah, très bien wiz my 'ands."


Phoenix: No. Please no.

Speakers: Incidentally, did we mention that this came from a prompt on the Kink Meme?

Phoenix: ..Well, we're screwed.

Quote:
Cup emptied, Godot set it down and said, "I've had better."

"'Ands?"

"Coffee."

Jean wibbled. "Z'e coffee did not meet your espérances?"

"Not for that price," he said honestly as he stood, taking a ten dollar bill from his pocket. "Keep the change. Buy yourself something pretty."

"Non, Monsieur Godot, wait!" Jean flailed at him, and ended up catching his arm. "You 'ave not been properly satisfied!"


Godot: Ha..! Two extra dollars? How generous of me.

Phoenix: (Has no one else realised yet?!)

Quote:
The stench in the place was killing him, now. "I didn't have high hopes to begin with. It takes a true man to brew up something strong enough for my tastes, and that man is me."


Godot: I see the author understands me well. sips coffee

Quote:
"Monsieur Godot, allow me z'is one z'ing! La massage will 'elp. Z'e service did not please you; allow moi to massage."

Godot was frankly quite sick of hearing about "la massage". Hell, he was sick of Jean Armstrong at that point. But Jean was kneading the muscle of his bicep in what seemed to be a demonstration of his skill as a masseur, and all in all it wasn't too bad, really…

"Alright," he consented finally, "but you'd better keep your hands above the equator. No touching the beans."


Godot: spits out coffee ...I take that back. Apparently not.

Larry: What the heck? This isn't what I signed up for!

Franziska: How much more is left?

Speakers: You're about four-ninths in.

Franziska: winces

Quote:
Jean clapped. "Mais oui! Ah, I am z'e 'appiest girl in z'e world."

Almost immediately Jean grabbed a vase from one of the empty tables and began tearing the petals from the roses, littering the table with them. "Allons! Remove your clozing!"


Godot: ...I. Don't. Think. That's. Necessary.

Phoenix: (He's gripping that coffee so hard that I'm surprised it hasn't broken yet.)

Quote:
Hesitantly Godot removed his armbands and vest, folding them neatly before taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Oh là là! Your body! C'est magnifique!" Jean clapped his hands eagerly, admiring Godot's strong arms and the fine musculature of his chest and stomach as he folded his shirt. "But it is a pity, la tension you 'ave…"

"'Tension'…" Godot repeated, voice bitter as his beloved coffee, "You keep talking about tension. Hauling oneself back from the depths of Hell would leave a man feeling a little strained, wouldn't you think?"


Godot: ..Well, I suppose they got my body right. sips coffee

Larry: Um, are they doing this in the middle of this place?

Phoenix: Is this a restaurant or a spa?!

Quote:
"Oui, oui! Un peu massage is necessary, z'en, for you, Monsieur Godot." Jean handed Godot a pink towel. Lovely. "For you. I will excuse myself, so you can… undress complètement."

With that, Jean Armstrong trotted gaily towards the kitchen, twirling a rose between his fingertips. Just watching the burly man act so feminine gave Godot the creeps—but, at the same time… it almost made Godot want to start calling Jean "Kitten".

Almost.


Godot: spits coffee What the hell?!

Phoenix: (Even Godot is cracking at this point.)

Quote:
He quickly took off the rest of his clothing and wrapped the towel around himself. Godot was still a little unsure about all of it; standing naked in the middle of the worst French restaurant ever while folding his pants and waiting for a massage by a giant was something that he pretty much never expected to happen to him in his lifetime.

Trite he could easily imagine getting into this sort of situation, but not him.


Phoenix: Don't bring ME into this!

Franziska: For once, I agree with you. Not even Phoenix Wright could get into this sort of situation.

Godot: Blacker than a moonless night, darker and more bitter than even coffee itself...that is this author.

Quote:
"Monsieur Godot, are you decent?"

Godot turned towards the door and found Jean peeping through anyway.

"You tell me."

"Pardonne moi. I am a bad little girl!" Jean crept out of the kitchen, gestured for him to climb onto the table and said, "La massage will 'elp you. Jasmine and patchouli, z'ey work wonders. Just z'inking about z'em sends moi to 'eaven!"


Larry: shudder I prefer massages to be done by cute chicks, thanks- whip crack Oww! What was that for?

Franziska: LARRY BUTZ! Do you understand the words coming out of your mouth right now?!

Quote:
Godot laid out on the table as Jean picked up the bottle and moved the chairs surrounding the table away. Jean poured some of the oil onto his back, making him jump. It was colder than he expected.

"Relax, and enjoy."

Jean, for as flamboyantly odd as he was, had gentle hands, soft like a woman's. Godot had tensed up at first, not knowing what to expect, but eventually he put his head down, pillowing his cheek, the damned visor he needed to wear digging into his forearm. The room stank even worse now that the contents of the bottle were actually on him, but Jean's oily hands working the knots out of his shoulders were helping him forget that fact.


Phoenix: This is terrible.

Godot: Too bitter even for my tastes.

Larry: I can even kinda smell it from here. Gross.

Quote:
Godot would've enjoyed it more if the masseur was a masseuse, but no, it wasn't as bad as he expected. Jean was attentive and thankfully quiet as he rubbed down his back, stopping only to add more of that godawful oil.

"Hey," Godot muttered as he felt the stuff pooling in the grooves at the small of his back, "that's enough, wouldn't you say?"

"Ah, oui! I was busy admiring z'e dark tan you 'ave."

"…ha! Tan… don't make me laugh."


Godot: chugs coffee

Franziska: These large amounts of oil are making me sick.

Quote:
Jean snapped the towel from around Godot's waist and exclaimed, "Ah, z'is is z'e color of your skin, you lucky boy!"

Godot was in the process of turning over to yell at him when Jean placed a hand between his shoulder blades and pushed him back onto his stomach.

"Non, non! Je n'ai pas fini la massage!"

As his last name suggested, Jean was… quite strong. Godot could've fought him off, naturally, since Jean was, in his own words, "a little girl", but in the end he decided to just go with it. Maybe it was a weird French thing Jean liked; they were all exhibitionists over there.


Phoenix: This is illegal. This has to be illegal.

Quote:
"Remember, no touching the beans," Godot reminded him. He felt a little cold, exposed and covered in oil the way he was.

"Mais non! 'ow can you z'ink so lowly of moi?"

"You tore off the towel."


Godot: PHOOOOOOOOOWHAAAAT?!

Larry: Argh! TMI, TMI!

Quote:
Jean gasped. "Non, z'at was la prank! I did not scare you, I 'ope…"

"Ha… scared… Once you've died, you never scare. You'll find out, one day."

"Monsieur Godot, you are so grim…"


Phoenix: (Though not as grim as the Godot sitting next to me.)

Godot: That was a prank?!

Quote:
Jean placed his hands at the small of Godot's back, spreading the oil and massaging the muscles with his thumbs, palms sliding up his back.

The massage was a bit of a turn on, despite who was giving it to him. Godot imagined it was Mia; in his mind, Mia's hands were traveling up and down his slick back, Mia's hands pressing into the column of his spine, Mia's hands sliding down to finger the cleft of his ass.

…wait.


Godot: That's enough! throws coffee at the screen

Speakers: The Management requests that Mr. Godot not throw coffee at the screen.

Godot: And what exactly are you going to do then?

Speakers: We can and will remove your coffee privileges if necessary.

Godot: ! I'll be a good boy. grabs another cup of coffee

Phoenix: (How does he do that?)

Franziska: Well, at least the coffee stains are partially obscuring the screen now.

Quote:
"Armstrong!!"

But he couldn't exactly turn over now—all those thoughts of Mia and a full-body rubdown had given him a hard-on, and Jean would take it the wrong way, just like the ditzy waitresses in cafes messed up his orders.

Aided by the oil, Jean's fingers slid over Godot's entrance even as he clenched every muscle in his lower body.

"Monsieur Godot, you are très tense! La body oil, it is supposed to relieve la tension, not be z'e cause!"


Godot: Grr...!

Franziska: I don't see why you're so agitated. At least you can't see red on white.

Godot: I wish I couldn't see at all. chugs coffee

Speakers: The Management requests that the Sporkers pay attention to what is happening on screen at all times.

Quote:
"This isn't part of any massage I know," Godot growled. He hissed through his teeth when Jean began to apply more pressure to his anus.

"Z'is is a French massage, 'ow it is in gay Paris!"

More of the oil was poured onto his body, sliding down the slope of his ass and pooling around Jean's fingers.


Larry: Ooh, nice to knOUUUUCH! whip crack whip crack whip crack whip crack

Quote:
"You are a man, non? Z'is is z'e special treatment!"

"That's bull—ha…!"

This time one of Jean's fingers breached his entrance and slid in up to the second knuckle. Godot squirmed; the feeling was utterly foreign, and he was uncomfortable with the amount of oil on his ass, not to mention uncomfortable with the guy who had his finger in his ass. But he was still hard despite that, no matter how hard it was getting to imagine that Mia Fey was the one doing this to him, fingering him, pushing inside him and—


Godot: Just because I drink bitter coffee doesn't mean I use bitter language, author.

Phoenix: (I don't think applying oil there is going to do much good.)

Quote:
"Ha—!!"

The surge of pleasure caught Godot utterly off guard. He involuntarily lifted his hips when it happened again; Jean had found something inside him to play with, and play with it he did.

Another oily finger pushed into him.

"Z'is is la good massage, non?"


Godot: ...

Phoenix: (Uh oh. He's practically smoking now.)

Quote:
Godot clawed at the tablecloth, grunting inarticulately as Jean rubbed at his prostate with a renewed force. His hips bucked of their own volition. Godot bit his bottom lip and groaned, half out of anger for allowing himself to get into this mess, and half at himself for actually getting some sort of enjoyment from having another man's fingers—or anything, for that matter—up his ass.

Jean sparkled, pumping his fingers in and out of Godot's entrance. Godot even relaxed a bit, opening his thighs the smallest amount. He didn't know what the hell it was Jean was doing in him, but it felt so good. He flexed his hips, hard cock rubbing against the tablecloth and rose petals scattered over it. It was just the right amount of friction to go with the pressure Jean applied to his prostate.


Larry: This isn't what I'm into, Nick.

Phoenix: I don't think any of us are into this, Larry.

Franziska: Not even a regular here to interrupt? What a pity.

Godot: Not even old man Kudo. Unsurprising considering he has no waitress skirts to stare under.

Franziska: What is is?!

Phoenix: (Uh oh. I don't know if he's realised what he just did.)

Quote:
"Z'ere, now you relax like a good boy, Monsieur Godot…"

Godot didn't even feel like protesting, now. He humped the tablecloth shamelessly, helping Jean plunge his fingers into his ass, faster and faster. Godot panted and thrust against the tablecloth one more time, fist banging the table. He came, slicking the tabletop and his stomach with his [CENSORED] no doubt soiling several petals in the process. Godot breathed hard, brain damn near breaking as he came down from what exactly just happened.


Godot: This is defamation of character. I don't care if Armstrong or Butz were doing this to me, just imagining if they were Mia wouldn't change anything!

Phoenix: We know, Mr. Godot.

Larry: I wondered what they censored?

Franziska: It is not hard to imagine what it was, Larry Butz!

Quote:
Finally Jean withdrew his fingers. He plucked a cloth napkin from another table and wiped his hands with it before tending to Godot, spreading his ass cheeks and cleaning the excess oil dripping down his thighs.

As Godot rolled off the table and took a clean napkin from Jean to clean his stomach, the bell above the door jangled loudly.


Phoenix: What a relief! Someone's finally interrupted!

Larry: I'll never see oil the same way after this, Nick. Oh god...

Quote:
Both Godot and Jean stared at the blushing old man.

Victor stared back at them, wide-eyed.

After a long, drawn out silence, Victor threw handful upon handful of seeds at them, going on and on about youth these days, how in his day there would never have been something like this going on…


Franziska: Quite rich, coming from him.

Quote:
Godot tuned him out and caught a few seeds with his teeth, resuming his cleanup.

With a final "Kah!" the old man left Très Bien in a storm.


Phoenix: Thank goodness.

Godot: That was pretty impressive, admittedly.

Quote:
"Mo-Monsieur Kudo!" Jean cried, giving chase. "Mon Dieu! Attends! S'il vous plaît arrêter!! You are my only customer, Monsieur Kudo!!"

Godot dressed quickly, skipping a few buttons on his shirt and vest, not bothering to replace his armbands. The one thing on his mind was getting the hell out of there, quickly, and never return to Très Bien again.

The coffee wasn't that good, anyway.


Godot: If the coffee isn't good, it isn't worth it. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: Can we forget this ever happened?

[...]

Larry: Wait, what? I thought it was over! Why are the lights- whip crack OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOW!

Franziska: Were you not paying attention?! This is a double feature, you fool!

Phoenix: Oh no. I nearly forgot.

Godot: I've had enough of this tripe!

Phoenix: Wait!

Godot: throws coffee at the screen

Speakers: What?! Alright, that's enough. No more coffee for you!

Godot: Pah!

Phoenix: (It isn't often that I see Godot getting angry. It's even rarer for him to be even more enraged than Franziska.)

Larry: Oh come on! This isn't fair!

Speakers: The Management would like to remind everybody that we don't care. Screw you. Let's start!

Franziska: Hmph. And it only took so long for you to be honest with us.

Phoenix: Well, at least we're halfway through. (Though Godot looks furious not to have any more coffee with him.)

Quote:
How the HELL did this Happen?


Godot: That's a question I ask myself every night.

Quote:
DISCLAMER: Phoenix Write: Ace Attorney games and related characters do NOT belong to me, no matter how much I want to steal them. Godot and Larry are sole property of Capcom- Go thank them for making awesome characters.


Phoenix: Oh come on! They got my name wrong!

Larry: Wait, I'm in this? Score!

Franziska: So why was I brought here?

Speakers: To keep a tight leash on everyone. Duh.

Franziska: I see then. tightens whip No unfunny or unrelated comments, then.

Phoenix: (Well, this got worse fast.)

Quote:
Okay, so I'm really really psyched for writing my first Phoenix Write fanfic. I'm also really surprised that I'm, like, the ONLY Larry/Godot shipper on the net. o.o ...Ahem, anyways, I hope you enjoy~! (Don't forget to review, Pwease? w)


Larry: Oh no! Oh no!

Godot: ...The pits of hell are truly neverending.

Phoenix: And they still got my name wrong! whip crack Ow!

Franziska: That is your biggest concern with this?!

Phoenix: (Should've seen that coming...) Anyway, do you guys even know each other that well?

Godot: Ha..! As if we would be even acquainted with each other.

Larry: Nah, not really. Unless you count that two minute interrogation we had on the Hazakura Temple incident.

Phoenix: Wait. Two minutes?!

Godot: This man had barely anything useful to say. If you have to drink spoilt coffee, finish it quickly. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: (Good grief.)

Quote:
Larry groaned under the crumpled sheets. How much had he drunk last night? It couldn't have been enough to create this major a hang over. Unless… One, two, three… four… five, six… Oh, God. He couldn't even count the drinks. He groaned again and stretched out on his bed.


Larry: Come on! I'm don't a drunkard!

Phoenix: Yeah, you aren't. (Surprisingly.)

Franziska: I can't believe I'm saying this, but the author has somehow gotten Larry Butz out of character.

Godot: Ha..! Spoiling an already spoilt coffee is a sign of a bad brewer. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: (It's just like Law Plus Chaos all over again...and we just started!)

Quote:
Fwap.

Oh shít.


Phoenix: 'Fwap'?

Godot: Clearly this is a cry for help by the author, who is in a heavily deteriorating mental state.

Phoenix: Um, we aren't supposed to personally insult the author, Mr. Godot.

Speakers: Also, on the author's profile, it says that some of their earlier fics were written when they were twelve. Those fics are some of which they are not especially proud of.

Godot: They had the humility to at least admit their mistakes. That's the first step to being a man.

Speakers: Well, this one was one of their later fics, but whatever. Moving on...

Quote:
His arm had hit something. Something warm, something that was gently raising and lowering to the steady breath of deep sleep, and something that was certainly not female.

Ohshitohshitohshit.


Phoenix: So this was what the 'Fwap' noise was supposed to be?

Franziska: That is not the sound of hitting someone! whip crack

Larry: Eh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm not into dudes, you get me? I'm Larry 'Ladies' Man' Butz, after aAAAAAAALLLLLL! whip crack whip crack whip crack whip crack whip crack

Franziska: That's enough.

Quote:
Larry froze, daring not even to breath, and slowly turned his head just far enough that he could see the figure out of his peripheral vision. He couldn't see the head, which was higher up on the bed then his, but instead saw their – his – body. It was tanned and muscular and completely naked. Thankfully the sheet was covering the, er, lower extremities, but they were still thin sheets and didn't leave as much as Larry wished they did to the imagination. He quickly looked at the ceiling.


Larry: How the heck am I even in here with this masked dude?!

Godot: So...am I in prison here?

Phoenix: They're not saying anything about that so far.

Franziska: No matter what year it is, the reasoning for it is inevitably going to be shoddy.

Quote:
How did..? What? …Who?! The questions raced through Larry's brain, unfortunately not coming across any answers. The previous night was kind of blurry, and thinking wasn't made any easier by the throbbing pain in his head. The only way to know was to look. Larry didn't think he wanted to know. Knew he didn't want to look, and face whoever it was when they were awake. However, life wasn't leaving him any other options at the moment. He would have to deal with the mess he had gotten himself into.


Phoenix: Even if Larry would drink, I doubt he would get into this situation.

Quote:
So he cautiously raised himself from the mattress and slid his legs out from under the tangled mess of fabric. Larry stood up slowly, checking himself over. Wearing boxers. At least fate had granted him that small mercy. While the fog of shock was still fresh in his mind, Larry took a deep breath and turned around, to see the person on earth he was least expecting to see.


Larry: The last person I would've expected to see was Edgey, actually.

Speakers: Hmm, that reminds me, actually. Are there any fics which...?

Franziska: Now look what you have done, you foolishly foolish fool! whip crack

Quote:
Angular features, dark stubble on his chin, a pale scar across his nose, and most strikingly, incredibly white hair. Godot. The prosecutor. The murderer. In sleep, the hard expression and cup of bitter coffee were absent, replaced with one whose closed eyes looked completely at peace. Restful.

AND NAKED. IN HIS BED. What. The. HELL?!


Phoenix: Well..I guess this does take place after the murder at Hazakura Temple.

Godot: Except that I'm not wearing my visor.

Franziska: And apparently you're not in prison anymore.

Phoenix: (Please tell me there'll be a rational, logical explanation for this...)

Quote:
Larry fled the room, closing the door behind him louder then he meant to. Down the hallway, to the kitchen. He needed coffee. To clear his head. To look back and try to make sense of fuzzy memory. Because he was completely freaking out. So Larry pulled out the pot and dumped the old stale stuff down the drain; fumbled for the tin of grounds on the counter. One, two scoops of grounds. Larry's thoughts flashed back to the prosecutor soundly slumbering on his bed, and added a third scoop. For all Larry knew, he had been the one to make the advances, and it wouldn't be fair to not think of the victim party…


Larry: V-Victim party?!

Phoenix: (Isn't that a band name?)

Quote:
VICTIM PARTY?!? Was he going nuts?! Sure, when it came to beautiful women Larry was the first to admit he was always suggesting possibilities. But with men, it was a completely different story. Larry wasn't interested in the least. No amount of alcohol could change that.

So why did you sleep with him, huh?


Godot: Even the fic is admitting this is making no sense?!

Franziska: Is there even going to be a reason for this!?

Quote:
Now there was food for thought. Why had he? Larry furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, trying to think. Women were the center of his world. What had happened to cause him to make such a sudden, and quite frankly creepy, decision to swap teams? Had he… Had he been drugged? Larry squinted, looking back.

-beeeep-


Godot: Is that my visor malfunctioning, or is that the author's way of jumping into a flashback?

Phoenix: No, I think it's just the coffee pot. See?

Quote:
Larry jumped, startled, but reminded himself it was just the coffee pot. He grabbed a cup, and took a deep drought to clear his mind. Then promptly spewed it back out into the sink. Larry poured out half his cup and replaced it with water, diluting the crazy strong and bitter coffee he had made, and downed half the cup.


Godot: If you can only handle half of a bitter cup, then you might as well not drink it at all. That's one of my rules.

Quote:
Remember… remember… Last night. Joann broke up with him. After agreeing to date him a mere two hours earlier. On a dare. That's right, he'd been heart broken. It had been the third time that week he had been dumped. The one before that was Marcia, and before that was… was Ruth.


Larry: Wait, does this take place in the future or something? I don't know any of these names!

Franziska: Mr. Godot is no longer in prison here, so I only must assume so.

Quote:
Ruth.

Ruth had been Larry's girlfriend on and off for three years She had been dating him way back when he was still in his "Laurice- Artist Extraordinaire" phase, and had been by his side quite often ever since. But… she broke up. Permanently, engaged to some fancy lawyer-type with big bucks. Not Nick or Miles type lawyer, but the kind that works for a really big firm with marble lions at the entrance and has no emotions as a person. It was the worst type of betrayal.


Phoenix: The author forgot to put a period in that first sentence. And I'm pretty sure they meant to write 'Not THE Nick or Miles lawyer'.

Larry: Man, is this predicting the future? Because this is tragic!

Quote:
So Larry hit the bars to drown his sorrows with various liquid intoxicating substances, like booze. He cried. A lot. Halfway through the night memory started getting fuzzy, probably due to what was in his system at the time.

Larry took another gulp from his coffee mug, And then jumped a couple feet in the air at the jarring sound of water running through the pipes in his apartment. Oh, God, Godot was taking a shower. In his bathroom. Naked. During the "morning after".


Godot: If I had coffee in my mouth, I would spit it out right now.

Franziska: whip crack Enough of this tomfoolery! Why is Mr. Godot at Larry Butz's place?!

Quote:
Well, there went any idea of rational thought process.

WHAT THE FRICK WAS WRONG WITH HIS BRAIN!?!

How had he…? When had he…? Why had he…? Larry was back at his first three questions, speculating at the speed of light, but not getting anywhere. Thinking in a circle, chasing his tail. Panic was not good for rational thought.


Phoenix: Nope, I'm pretty sure there is no real reason. The author just felt like shoehorning in their own pairing without any respect to canon.

Speakers: The Management requests that the Sporkers not break the fourth wall.

Phoenix: Oh, come on! That barely counts!

Quote:
So he just sat there and listened to the water running. Trying not to think at all. Soon enough there was a thunk as the water turned off, then quiet for a moment. It suddenly hit Larry that he was standing in his boxers and a man who he had suposadly had… had… had sex with would be walking in any moment. Oh shìt. This could not end well. Hopefully Godot had the sense of decency to put clothes on. Larry was trying not to shake with the total panic running through his veins.


Franziska: It is spelt supposedly! Two 'P's and an 'E', not an 'A'! whip crack

Phoenix: (Alright, maybe she is getting a bit furious.)

Larry: Come on! I don't swear that much!

Quote:
The soft creak of a door opening. The tump tump of footsteps. Larry strained his ears to hear every motion, to be prepared for the moment of confrontation to arrive. Hah. Like he could ever truly be prepared.


Godot: I believe that 'thump' is the proper onomatopoeia use here.

Quote:
Before he knew it, the man himself was standing in the eve of the hallway. He was wearing jeans, probably from the night before (Larry shivered at the thought that he had been the one to unzip them), but no shirt. Water droplets still clung to his skin from the shower, and he had a towel around his neck, which he was using to ruffle his white hair. The mask, with its three glowing bars that had helped incriminate the man five years earlier, was in place.


Phoenix: Well, it takes 5 years after the Hazakura murder. That kinda pinpoints things to after my disbarment.

Godot: No, I couldn't have gotten out in five years for what I did.

Franziska: How foolish.

Quote:
Godot grinned at him, "Good morning."


Larry: A-And? Are you going to explain what the heck you're doing here?

[The lights come on.]

Larry: WHAT?! That's it?

Speakers: Yep, that's all. No other chapters or anything.

Phoenix: Well, that still explained absolutely zilch.

Franziska: Even if it did, I doubt it would properly explain the characters' behaviour.

Godot: sigh I'm fine with this. I guess I'm going back.

Man: Sir! I've come to take him away, sir!

Franziska: Do what you will, officer. I am leaving myself.

Godot: Whatever. See you later, Mr. Wright. My death slowly approaches. Nothing to live for from here.

Phoenix: Wait! Godot!

Godot: ...

Phoenix: No matter what, don't give up! No matter what your motivations were, you still saved Maya from death.

Godot: Tch. It wasn't much. I still framed Sister Iris for everything.

Phoenix: ...She was ready for accept the blame for everything. You might have done some things wrong in your life, but that doesn't mean you have to die for it. Look, if you'd like, we can have Maya channel Mia for you. Then you two can have a nice long chat together. You deserve it.

Godot: Phoenix Wright... grins You sound just like Mia. You truly are her protégé. Continue with such such valour, and you might make this earth a better place to live. Remember, a lawyer always smiles-

Phoenix: ...No matter how bad it gets. I see.

Man: Sir! We have to go now.

Godot: Yeah. I have to go now. Goodbye, Wright.

...

Phoenix: (Despite what I said, he still never accepted. I guess in the end, him seeing Mia in me was what mattered most to him.)

Larry: Uh? Hey, Nick? We're leaving now.

Phoenix: ..Huh? Oh, yeah, coming!

[And thus, this ends our sporking. We hope you enjoyed. And until next time, goodbye!]

Speakers: There really are some Larry x Edgeworth fics. Good grief.

Hope you enjoyed the sporking. Constructive criticism is appreciated. This one was written by me just to try my hand at writing Godot. He's really hard to nail. Anyway, see you later.
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Ace Preschooler

Gender: Male

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:21 pm

Posts: 72

Want some recs? I got recs.
Spoiler: The fics I recommend

Hexepta: Mayor Attack
A fangame of an unreleased AA-like game, Hexepta: Logic Hack. Follow my fangame to give the official one attention and make it world famous when it's released.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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*laugh track*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:42 am

Posts: 3804

That's...nice, but I'm really looking for fics that were...you know, actually written without a sense of irony.

whoo! 3K posts
A great man once wrote:
Breakfast? What needs to be broken so fast?


Story CrafterCase RankingsRelated LinksQR CodeSocot Lore
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Gender: Female

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2014 2:08 am

Posts: 19

Yeah, the sporks written about crack fics aren't nearly as entertaining to read or write.

Has anyone thoroughly checked AO3 for some sporkable stories? There's much less crackfic spam on there so it should be easier to sift through.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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ace authorney

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:31 pm

Posts: 11

hello good gentleladies and men, ive found this funny fan fiction place while ago in my adventurs on nonfiction nets and uve brought me lots of funnys and lols i just wanted to say if i ever get the tiem maybe i wil wright a sporkin for u but idk wat storys to do that for but iamawrighter has some funny storya but maybe sometin else or maybe nothing we will see

but yes my point is u are doing good exellent work all of u i especally like de sport of law + chaos and phenix drive they both really good and since u seem to like my storys ill try finish ace fan fiction sorter for u all and it will be worth :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: (those are like stars, right?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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um...hi your honour?

Gender: Male

Location: YouTube, Deviant art, FanFiction.net and Discord

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:21 pm

Posts: 298

holy moley it's our lord and saviour barrylawn!
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