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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Clear Contradiction

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super awkward introduction go go go

So, uh, hi! I've been browsing this thread for a while, and it inspired me to sign up and do some sporkings of my own. Glad to join the forum.

Anyway: seeing as I'm new at this, I figured I should go for the low-hanging fruit in my first spork, so this barrylawn guy's masterpieces look like good picks; however, what's the policy on Spirit of Justice spoilers in this thread? I found his "krazy khura'in adventures" stories particularly amusing, but I don't want to accidentally break any unspoken rules regarding spoilers here.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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I'm not sure if SoJ spoilers will be allowed...how about you make it,but save it until after some time passes after SoJ's western release?

Also,welcome to the forums! :maya:
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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I kind of figured something like that. I'll just keep an eye on the general forum spoiler policy and wait until the time is right.

Looking through the rest of his collection, "ace attorneys in the woods" is sufficiently long--seven and a half thousand words, eight chapters--and quickly browsing it seems to be plenty weird, so I think I'll go with that one.

Thanks!
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You're welcome! Can't wait for your new sporking!
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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I'm sure SoJ spoilers are fine, just leave it in a spoiler tag, maybe.
Also, I had originally claimed Kurain Adventures (I think), but since then I've started making it in Pywright, so I'll take back the claim.
Phoenix Wright: The Jakkid Series.

This used to be an image but I changed by signature because reason and now I can't put the image back damn I think CR gold really is a thing.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Some of BarryLawn's stuff are really meta,I noticed. He seems to be really active in some parts of the community,like the discord and subreddit,
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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ArrowLawn wrote:
TurtleCat wrote:
Incidentally, what is a good place to post ones own fanfic to?


Here? We've definitely had people spork their own fics here before.

(tfw posted almost exactly 12 hours after question)


Well, I mean like... hosting. >.>

Also... how? It must be really hard to spork ones own stuff!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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This forum should work for showing your fanfics.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Or they could just get an account on fan fiction.net or ao3...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Okay. Thanks for the suggestions and advice.

I think I'm going to try sporking "Court Mishaps" http://archiveofourown.org/works/6553360

Thats the one with the Magatama. I'm gonna give it a go.
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CommandoGrandma wrote:
super awkward introduction go go go

So, uh, hi! I've been browsing this thread for a while, and it inspired me to sign up and do some sporkings of my own. Glad to join the forum.

Anyway: seeing as I'm new at this, I figured I should go for the low-hanging fruit in my first spork, so this barrylawn guy's masterpieces look like good picks; however, what's the policy on Spirit of Justice spoilers in this thread? I found his "krazy khura'in adventures" stories particularly amusing, but I don't want to accidentally break any unspoken rules regarding spoilers here.


YAAAY a newbie like me! Inspired like me! Nice to meet you!

Incidentally, I finished the one I was working on. Is someone around to check it for me, make sure I did okay?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Court Mishaps
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6553360
By: FyreByrd_risefromtheashes


Sahwitt Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit:
It’s all in dialog with no tags, so it’s actually really annoying to read at times. Also the situation is contrived… but it’s decently funny and the grammar isn’t horrible


-----


Our lovely Sporkers walk into the sporking theatre to find that something seems… different. A large section of seats from the second row have been removed, leaving an opening not unlike a missing tooth. But, beyond that, a table has been set up, laden with serving utensils, a pitcher of water, and a modest selection of food. What horrors lie in store?


:phoenix: Phoenix Wright
Ugh, the Sporking Theatre again… wait… Something smells, delicious?


:maya: Maya Fey
Look, Nick! There’s a whole table full of food!


:sadshoe: Dick Gumshoe
Seems that way, pal! *stomach rumbles* Wow, this all looks delicious! This looks… like pot roast?


Maya: And those are mashed potatoes!


Speakers: Hello, everybody! I’m really happy you came!


Phoenix: Not willingly. Just saying.


Speakers: So this is my first time managing… I hope you find everything all right!


Phoenix: Hold it! There’s a rule against food in the theatre, isn’t there?! How do we know you’re not trying to trick us?


Speakers: Uh, *rustling of paper* Oh, so there is. Well, uh, because I’m here and I… kinda... made the food, I’m going to waive that rule. Please eat my food…


Phoenix: D-did anyone else hear an un-said ‘or else?’


Maya: Nope!


Gumshoe: Me neither, pal!


Maya and Gumshoe proceed to help themselves to tasty, steaming, delicious, tasty morsels…


Speakers: You can have some too, Mr. Narrator, after the show. If there’s any left!


Really? Thank you! You’re so nice!


Speakers: Thanks! I try! But, um, you have to do your part, okay?


Yes, of course! I’ll do an extra good job! Ahem… After perusing the delicious options available to them, they take a seat and, oh hey! There’s little tables on the seats to eat off of!


Speakers: Well, they can’t use forks and knives on their laps!


Good point. Anyway, the sporkers take their seats.


Phoenix: *has taken a plate, and also a bite* It’s good … I still think there’s a catch.


Maya: Oh who cares! Free food!


Gumshoe: She’s right! This is so much better than what I was going to have for dinner tonight!


Speakers: Hehe, thanks!


Phoenix: He was going to have instant noodles.


Maya: Don’t listen to Nick! Thank you, new manager, for the food!


Speakers: You’re welcome! So, are you ready to start the sporking?


Phoenix: Are we ever ready? No. But you’re going to start it anyway.


Speakers: Well, yes. So, it’s called “Court Mishaps” and, uh, just to give you an idea of what’s to come, heres the authors notes…


Quote:
Anyway, who doesn't love a bit of hot, yummy mindsex, am I right?



Phoenix: I knew there was a catch. Great.


Maya: Don’t worry, Nick, it’s not like it will be anything bad.


Gumshoe: With food as good as this, how can anything else be bad?


Speakers: Awww, thank you!


Phoenix: (Don’t be so naive...)


Speakers: Okay, lets begin… COURT MISHAPS!

Spoiler:
Quote:
“Aaall right! I’m all pumped up for this trial! C’mon Nick! Let’s go and prove Mr. Nott Gill Tee innocent!”



Phoenix: Nott Gill Tee? Really? Really? I mean, I know some people are named interesting things were we come from, but that? Really?


Maya: 4th wall, Nick!


Speakers: That’s fine


Phoenix: It’s just… couldn’t they have come up with something better? Like Notta Killer?


Maya: Wow, Nick, that’s pretty terrible!


Gumshoe: I don’t know, pal, I kind of like it.


Quote:
“Maya, could you keep it down, please? Please excuse my assistant, Mr. Tee, she sometimes gets a little…hyper.”
“Hey! That’s rude! *glare*”
“That’s quite all right, Mr. Wright. It is nice to see such enthusiasm nowadays. People are so rarely excited these days…oh the flame of youth…”



Gumshoe: Is this all going to be talking?


Speakers: Pretty much


Gumshoe: Aww. I was hoping for some action scenes…


Speakers: Oh don’t worry, there will be action.


Phoenix: Be careful what you wish for, Detective.


Quote:
“Ah, Detective Gumshoe! Uhh, please excuse me for a second, Mr. Tee… Detective! Did you get that decisive piece of evidence I asked for yesterday?”
“Huh? What…Oh you mean that piece of evidence, pal?”
“ *sigh* Yes, Gumshoe. That piece.”
“Oh. Oh ho ho ho……uhh, which piece was that again, pal?”



Gumshoe: Hey, I’m not that stupid! If you asked me for something, and I had it, I’d know what it was!


Phoenix: Well…


Maya: Shh, Nick.


Phoenix: It’s just, I mean, he is kind of forgetful...


Gumshoe: You didn’t have to say it, pal...


Quote:
“Detective, I swear to God”-



Gumshoe: You don’t have to say it like that, either…


Phoenix: It’s fic me, Detective.


Maya: Yeah, normally he just thinks it!


Phoenix: No I don’t!


Gumshoe: The look you’re giving me on-screen reminds me of Mr. Edgeworth, actually.


Quote:
“Ho ho, I was just playing with you, pal, I got it right here. Here you go.”
“Thanks, Detective. Hopefully Edgeworth won’t completely pulverize me today…”



Gumshoe: See?


Phoenix: What?


Gumshoe: I had the evidence! I knew what you were talking about! Even the me up there knew!


Phoenix: I didn’t say anything.


Maya: You kind of did, Nick!


Phoenix: I didn’t… Boy, though, it sure is nice of you to help me against Edgeworth.


Gumshoe: Urk! I’d never, I mean...


Quote:
“Urk! Listen pal…speaking of Mr. Edgeworth, could you not tell him that I helped you out? He would have a fit if he found out…”
“Your secret’s safe with me, Detective.”
“Thanks, pal. You’re a true friend. And since you are such a good friend to me, Mr. Wright, you are in for a treat!”



Gumshoe: Why am I helping you like this? When you’re up against Mr. Edgeworth, it just feels… wrong.


Phoenix: You have helped me against him before.


Gumshoe: But… but that was different! I wouldn’t go against him like this - he’d cut my pay! I’d have to live off of a single cup of ramen for a week!


Phoenix: True. Also, I’m wondering what the ‘treat’ is.


Maya: I bet it’s candy!


Quote:
“Huh, really?”


“Lookee here. Do you see this, pal? This here is a real, genuine taser that I made all by myself! Pretty cool, huh? It’s not very efficient now, but…I’ll soon fix that right up!”



Phoenix: …


Maya: …


Gumshoe: Wow, I made a taser! From scratch! That’s really impressive! Good job, fic me!


Phoenix: I… I suppose.


Quote:
“That’s very…impressive, Gumshoe…”
“Oooh, can I have a look?”
“Uhh, Maya? Remember the last time we saw one of those? I’d rather not relive that experience…”
“oh, stuff it, Nick!”



Phoenix: Wow, Maya. Language.


Maya: Hey, I’d never say that! I didn’t like getting zapped by a taser any more than you did! I’d never just play with one!


Gumshoe: You were zapped by a taser?!


Phoenix: Yes. We both were.


Maya: von Karma zapped in the police records room and took all our evidence.


Gumshoe: Y-you mean…


Phoenix: Manfred von Karma.


Gumshoe: Oh. That makes more sense… I’m sorry that happened to you, pal.


Speakers: Interestingly, in the anime, only you get tased Ms. Fey!


Maya: Even more reason why I wouldn’t play with that thing!


Phoenix: Actually, otherwise the characterization is pretty spot on...


Quote:
“ *shrug* Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you get shoc”-
*ZAP *
“Auuuuuuuuuuuugh!”



Phoenix: … Seriously, Maya?


Maya: I didn’t do it!


Quote:
“Ack!”
“Maya! What the hell was that for?!”
“Hehehe, Mr. Wright looked pretty comical right now…”
“I’m sorry Nick, my hand slipped! See, just like that!”



Maya: Wait, who was talking? Nick did the first ones, and I think that Gumshoe said Nick looked ‘comical’...


Gumshoe: I’d never laugh at someone in such a situation!


Maya: So who did the “Ack?!”


Phoenix: I have no idea.


Quote:
“MAYA! WATCH WHERE YOU POINT THAT THING”-
*ZAP*
“AAARGH! NOT THE HAIR!”
“I'm so sorry!”



Phoenix: She did it AGAIN?!


Maya: So, um, what was that you said about characterization?


Gumshoe: This is actually assault and I could arrest you for it.


Maya: Aww...


Gumshoe: Well, I mean, Fic me and Fic you…


Phoenix: But that’s not going to happen, is it.


Quote:
“That’s it! No burgers for a week, Maya. And that’s final! And Gumshoe, get this thing away from Maya right now or I swear to God I’ll tell Edgeworth to cut your salary in half!”



Maya: Didn’t we recently have a sporking where we established that you do not control my burger rights?


Phoenix: That was the one with the skeletons, wasn’t it? I hear that my name was dragged through the mud and that one may or may not be hunting me down… hooray.


Gumshoe: S… skeletons?!


Maya: It’s okay, they weren’t bad skeletons!


Phoenix: I wouldn’t know. And you are right, I don’t control your burger privileges. I also have no power over Edgeworth or your salary, Gumshoe, don’t worry.


Gumshoe: I wasn’t, pal...




Quote:
“U-urk! Y-yes sir! Boy Mr. Wright sure is scary when he gets mad…”
“I’ll say…”
“Defendant, Mr. Wright, you may enter the courtroom.”
“Yes thank you, bailiff.”
“It’s go time, Nick! Let’s get this show on the road!”
~~~



Gumshoe: I wonder why you’re so mean in this scene, though?


Maya: Maybe Nott Gill Tee is not as not-guilty as he seems?


Phoenix: Maya, no.


Gumshoe: Well if you needed special evidence from me, then maybe…


Phoenix: Let’s just move on.

Quote:
“All rise!”
“Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Nott Gill Tee. Are the defense and prosecution ready?”
"The defense is ready, Your Honor!”
"The prosecution has been ready for a while, Your Honor.”
"Showoff.”
“Did you say something just now, Wright?”
“Ah! N-Nothing.”



Gumshoe: Wow, saying that out loud? In court? That’s really brave of you, Mr. Wright!


Phoenix: And stupid. I need every bit of good will I can get and outright insulting the prosecution, good friend or no, is not how to do that.


Maya: Getting seconds, want anything else, Gumshoe?


Gumshoe: Sure, a little bit of everything, please?
Phoenix: “Hey, why didn’t you ask me?!”


Quote:
“Very well. The prosecution may now present its opening statement.”
“Thank you, Your Honor. Today the prosecution shall provide proof as to the guilt of Mr. Nott Gill Tee for the murder of Mr. Vick Tim on the morning of……”
“Ouch! Something burned me just now!... Huh? The magatama?”
“Nick, pay attention!”



Phoenix: Why am I talking out loud about this?


Quote:
“I already know what he’s going to say! Maya, the magatama…why is it bright pink in color?”



Phoenix: I have a bad feeling...


Maya: *stuffs face with food*


Gumshoe: *stuffs face with food*


Quote:
“Huh?...I’m not so sure, Nick…”
“Ah, leave it. I’ve gotta focus now!”



Phoenix: Yes, ignore the fact that my magical charm has turned a funny color in the middle of court.


Gumshoe: Magical charm?


Phoenix: Ask Edgeworth about it later.


Quote:
“……alleged affair with the victim. Hence the motive, Your Honor, was jealousy on the part of the defendant!”
“Wha…Objection! This is just speculation!”
“Hmph. Unlike you Wright, I do not rely on mere bluffs to find the truth. The prosecution submits this phot..uuuuugh.”
“Huh? Something wrong, Mr. Edgeworth?”



Phoenix: … whats happening here?


Quote:
“N-No, Your Honor, I apologize. As I was saying, I submit this photograph of the victim and the defendant’s wife as evidence.”
“I see, I see…hmm, this does not bode well for your client, Mr. Wright…Uh, Mr. Wright, are you quite alright? Why are you picking on your tie like that?”
“I-I-I’m sorry, Your Honor, but isn’t it a little h-hot in here?”
“It’s the middle of January, Mr. Wright.”
“Ah…”
“I can ask the bailiff to adjust the temperature if you want.”
“Thank you, Your Honor.”



Phoenix: …


Maya: It’s getting hot in here ~ So take off all your…


Phoenix: Maya, no.


Speakers: There’s a hilarious fic where…


Phoenix: No


Quote:
“Nick, what’s wrong with you?! You’re sweating bullets! Even more than usual!


“Hmph, what’s the matter, Wright? I would have thought you’d have stopped being such an amateur to have a case of the n-nnnnnnnnngh..n-nerves…”
“Mr. Edgeworth?”
“M-My apologies.”
“Wait. Wait a minute Nick, you said the magatama was pink?”
“Y-Yes. What’s wrong?”
“I think I remember something Aunt Morgan had told me…After the magatama was charged…only you and Mr. Edgeworth had used it…right?”



Gumshoe: Used it for what?


Phoenix: It lets me know when someone is lying.


Maya: It’s a little more than that, but why did I only just remember this now?


Gumshoe: Hey, that’s not too far fetched, pal! Sometimes I don’t remember things that I should for a while!


Phoenix: Didn’t you say before that...


Gumshoe: I mean things that aren’t that important!


Phoenix: Riiight.


Quote:
“Right. And? What of it?”
“If I’m thinking what I think I'm thinking…then both of you are in big deep trouble.”
“Maya, could you please stop with the riddles and speak out your mind, already?!”
“ORDER! Mr. Wright! Will you please pay attention before I hold you in contempt of court!”
“Eeep! S-Sorry, Your Honor! Maya, I’ll talk to you about this after the trial, okay?”
“I'm not sure if that’s a good idea, Nick…”



Phoenix: Me neither.


Quote:
“Alright. Mr. Edgeworth, you may call your witness.”
“T-Than… *ahem* Thank you, Your Honor. The prosecution calls Mr. Whit Ness to the stand!”
“Witness, state your name and occupation.”
“Oi, you jus’ said it.”
“? Your name and profession please, witness.”
“You ju’s said ma name again, ‘omie. Man what kinda dummass are you?”



Phoenix: Did they have to do this gag?


Maya: Oh come on, at least it’s not Witt Less! Hahaha!


Gumshoe: Good one!


Phoenix: But, I mean…


Maya: Hey, at least they were aware of it!


Quote:
“State. Your name. For the cooooo-aaaargh!”
“Oh, holy SHIT!”
“Mr. Wright, mind your language! Mr. Edgeworth, what is the matter with you?! You’re all red, your face is sweaty, your limbs are shaking…”
“I’m fine. Your Honor. I just drank too many cups of tea last night.”
“ *BANG* *BANG* Oh Godd-d-d-d!!”
“Order! Could you please refrain from banging your head on the desk like that, Mr. Wright!”
“Oh…God! The-the defense requests a brief recess, Your Honor!”
“The…nnnnngh..gah! The prosecution agrees with Mr. Wright!”



Phoenix: I feel like that’s the best thing to do at this point...


Quote:
“Hmm, unfortunately this trial was postponed well beyond the three-day limit. I cannot allow any breaks in between. But if this is a medical emergency, I can have the medical examiner take a look…”



Phoenix: Seriously?!


Gumshoe: Well, I mean, a medical examiner can treat people who aren’t dead, you know…


Phoenix: That’s not what I meant! Clearly we are both in… distress…


Maya: You don’t look very distressed!


Phoenix: And we’re both disrupting the courtroom! He should just let us take the recess and… deal with it… somehow.


Gumshoe: ...


Quote:
“That will not be necessary, Your H-h-hurrr…Honor.”
“What is with these lawyers?”
“Something is definitely wrong here…”
“Mommy, do all lawyers have diarrhea?”
“Shh, honey. Don’t stare at them.”
“Order! Order!”



Phoenix: … I almost wish it was diarrhea.


Maya: Is this more or less embarrassing than diarrhea?


Phoenix: I’d say equivalent, but at least diarrhea would give me an excuse to run to the bathroom and do…


Maya: Do what?


Phoenix: Nothing.


Gumshoe: ...


Quote:
“Ahem. W-Witness! Your testimony. NOW.”
“Yeah all righ’ all righ’ don’ scare me like that! I was roamin’ round the park you know, when I saw, far way, two people sittin’ on one of ‘em park benches.”
“Hold it! And these two people…could you see their faces?”
“Oh yeah, clearly.”
“Ahd who were they?”
“The victim and a lady…I think she’s the defendant’s wife? I ain’t so sure…”
“O-Okay. C-Continue.”
“An’ while I was lookin’ at ‘em, the dude just started runnin’ his hands all over the little lady…”
“Hold it! And you were watching all that?!”
“Chyeah, well, call me a pervert, but I ju’s couldn’t move, ya know? I’d gotta bad feelin’ in ma gut ‘bout all o’ this…and so I stayed there, watchin’ real hard.”
“Real…hard?”
“Yeah. Really hard.”
“So…so hard…nngh…”



Phoenix: ...


Gumshoe: ...


Maya: Really hard, guys.


Phoenix: Maya, don’t.


Quote:
“Mr. Edgeworth?!”
“Ah Wriiiight!...I-I mean, right, Your Honor. I was establishing the importance of the witness’s statement.”
“I see. Continue, witness.”
“……Wait a second! Object-AH!”
“What is it, Mr. Wright?”
“The…t-t-the witness called the woman as ‘little’! But if you look at her, you can plainly see that the defendant’s wife is very tall!”
“Wha…she was little, I tell ya!”
“That means…there’s no way he could have seen the same person! I propose that the woman the witness saw was someone else entirely!”
“O-Objection! Look where the witness was standing! From this…this position…uh, t-the witness could easily have seen the defendant’s wife as shorter than himself! He was standing right here on top of…on top of the hill!”



Gumshoe:You’re actually doing pretty well, pal… despite everything.


Maya: Nick’s actually doing better than usual!


Phoenix: What do you mean by that?!


Maya: … I mean, just that you’re actually finding good contradictions.


Quote:
“Right there?...Yes…right there, right there…oh…oh Edgeworth…”
“Wright…guh Wright…you’re so tight…I-I-I mean, you’re so right…so…right…”
“Mr. Wright, Mr. Edgeworth, what is the meaning of this?! I’ll have you both removed out of my courtroom, I warn you!”



Phoenix: Is this going to be censored soon?


Maya: Nah, you’re just talking dirty.


Gumshoe: … really dirty. Wow, pal.


Quote:
“Take me…oh please take me, Edgeworth…”
“Nnnnnnngh, too much…this is too much…”
“Wha…what’s going on here…?”
“I believe I may have an explanation, Your Honor. This is…the flame of youth at work.”



Phoenix: Who was that?


Gumshoe: I think it was your defendant, pal.


Maya: Defending you.


Phoenix: Hmm. It’d sure be nice to have dialog tags.


Maya: But aren’t those really ugly and terrible?


Phoenix: Yes but at least then we’d know who was saying what!


Quote:
“What?!”
“Gaaah Edgeworth…I’m coming!
“M-Me too, aaaaah!”



Phoenix: … in court. Again, in court.


Quote:
“Coming? Coming where? Ms. Fey, where are they going?!”
“Don’t ask, Your Honor…just don’t ask.”



Gumshoe: I feel like even the judge would know what that meant.


Maya: I’m remarkably calm about this, actually.


Gumshoe: Maybe fic-you… um… ‘Ships’ them?


Phoenix: … That would be a nightmare.


Maya: And Pearly might object!


Quote:
“AAAAAAAAH EDGEWOOORHH… *gasp*”
*THUD*
“Order! ORDER! Bailiff, get a medic for Mr. Wright immediately!”
“OHHHHH WRI-I-IGHTT! *moaaaaaaan*”
*THUD*
“And another for Mr. Edgeworth! Hurry!”

~~~



Phoenix: Sound effects probably shouldn’t be in the quotes, should they?


Maya: I don’t know, Nick, but it sure looks strange… Oh hey, another part!


Quote:
“-utely embarrassed. Absolutely.”



Phoenix: You should be!


Maya: I think that was you, Nick.


Phoenix: I couldn’t tell!


Quote:
“I said, I'm sorry Nick, but how was I supposed to know the magatama would react like that?”
“You could have warned me! You knew what the pink color meant!”



Maya: Hey, just because I knew doesn’t mean I KNEW knew. And it wasn’t like I willfully denied you information! I told you when I remembered!


Gumshoe: Yeah! Sometimes people forget these things.


Quote:
“Well yes…B-But look at the bright side! You got one more day to prepare for the trial!”
*GLARE*
“…uh well…maybe not so bright…”
“And look at the medic’s report! ‘Shock due to intense orgasm. Drink plenty of fluids.’ What the hell?!”



Phoenix: You’d think that after an intense orgasm I’d be less snippy. And… yay! An extra day!


Quote:
“Eeyuck. Too much information, Nick.”
“ *groan* How am I supposed to face him after this?”
“…Wright?”
“Ack! E-Edgeworth! You scared me!”
“Ah…I couldn’t help but overhear…did you say that this…incident…was caused due to the magatama?”
“Uh yeah…it was glowing pink when i-it happened. Right now, it’s green again.”
“Aunt Morgan told me that since the magatama is an ancient relic, it still resides partway within the ancient world. We’d have to be extremely careful while using it, as if it comes in contact with too much techno stuff from our world, its power may get disrupted…”
“Modern technology, huh? Wait, you don’t mean…”
“The only explanation I can think of is that it may have stopped working when Gumshoe tasered you.”
“What do you mean, Gumshoe? You tasered me!”



Phoenix: Damn it, Maya…


Maya: Hey, not my fault! I’d never do that!


Gumshoe: I hope you wouldn’t blame it on me, either…


Quote:
“Hey, it’s all the same, Nick!”



Gumshoe: Not really!


Quote:
“Umm..Ms Fey. Could you leave us for a moment? There’s something I need to discuss with Wright.”
“ *giggle* Sure, Mr. Edgeworth!”



Maya: Yep, Fic-me totally ships this.


Quote:
“…”
“….So. How..how are you?”
“ *cough* Better,thank God. You?”
“Yeah.”
“Wright..would you like to join me for a cup of coffee? O-Or tea…whichever you like…um.”
“What? Y-You mean, like a…”
“Yes.”
“Uhh..okay. Yeah…yeah, I’d like that. …..Wow, you should definitely smile like that more, Edgeworth…you look really cute.”
“W-well. Shall we?”
“Ah, wait, I just spotted Gumshoe…I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Alright.”



Phoenix: Well that was…


Maya: Cute.


Gumshoe: Uh oh, what is going to happen to fic-me?


Phoenix: Possibly a salary cut.


Quote:
“…Ms Fey?”
“Mr. Edgeworth, I'm really, really sorry about what happened.”



Phoenix: No you’re not.


Maya: I would be! Totally!


Quote:
“Heh. I want to thank you, Maya.”
“Thank…me? For what?”
“For finally giving me the courage to deal with my feelings…my feelings about Wright. I was always hesitant to approach him..for fear of rejection. But now you have given me the perfect opportunity to express myself. So…I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”



Maya: Aww, that’s so nice! He thanked me!


Phoenix: For embarrassing him in court. Wow.


Gumshoe: Hey you were embarrassed too, pal.


Maya: He’s used to it!


Phoenix: H-hey! Objection - I do not embarrass myself in court!


Maya: Well...


Quote:
“Hehehe, you don’t need to thank me, Mr. Edgeworth! And boy, you are much better at expressing gratitude now!”
“Well, I learned from the best, after all.”
“Awww, you flatter me.”
*zap*
“Hmm? Did you hear that, Maya?”
“Huh? Hear what?”
“Hey. C’mon Edgeworth, let’s go. Maya, make sure to lock the office up tight, okay? Here’s some money for that cab…and you may buy yourself some burgers too, if you like.”
“Hooooray! Wait, where are you both…oh. Have fun! Wait…Nick…why is your hair all blown away like that?”
“She’s right, Wright. Also your clothes look..and smell..kind of burned.”
"I think that’s just your imagination, Miles. Now, how about that coffee?”

~end~



Phoenix: Did I just… Zap myself?


Gumshoe: I think you did


Phoenix: I feel like I should at least ask Edgeworth first… Otherwise isn’t it kind of… bad? Like, non-consensual bad?


Gumshoe: Yeah…



The lights brighten


Phoenix: Oh hey, it’s over. Thank goodness.


Maya: That wasn’t that bad, was it?


Gumshoe: I thought it was okay… I mean, other than the… you know… things I should arrest you for, Maya...


Maya: Fic-me.


Gumshoe: Yeah.


Phoenix: Well, it wasn’t terribly written. Aside from all the incessant dialog. Could it have killed them to put in some actual description? Or dialog tags?


Maya: Maybe!


Speakers: They were probably trying to make it like the games…


Phoenix: Isn’t that a fourth wall violation?


Speakers: I don’t think it counts for me!


Phoenix: Hmph. Of course it doesn’t.


Maya: By the way, what happened to those seats over there?


Phoenix: We probably don’t want to know…


Speakers: Oh, that’s actually a… project of mine! I’m making special chairs!


Phoenix: For what...


Speakers: Magic. You’ll see… once I’ve gotten them working. They’re not ready yet, though!


Maya: Oh, speaking of working, can we take some of the food that you worked so hard on with us?


Phoenix: Smooth, Maya. Really smooth.


Speakers: Sure! There’s some tupperware over there - just clean them and bring them back with you next time!


Maya: Yay!


Gumshoe: Hooray! Now I’ll eat like a king!


The narrator sighs… save some for him?


Maya: Sure!


Gumshoe: No problem!


Phoenix: Are you done? I’m getting out of here.


After helping themselves to dinner, the sporkers leave the theatre…


Speakers: I didn’t do too badly, did I?


I think you did fine!


Speakers: Thank you! I’ll come down and set you up with a meal… only, could you turn around? I don’t want you to see my true form…


True form?!


Speakers: Nothing important, don’t worry about it, just don’t look?


All right… What can this possibly mean? What is going on with the missing chairs? What new things are in store for the Sporking theatre? Tune in next time for more sporking fun!

--------
OOC:
[spoiler]I had this idea, that the chairs are under construction and could summon ghosts so we could have some more interesting characters come in and spork... and also outright prevent Maya from channelling Mia, or spork them together.[/spoiler]
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Avatars are for less anxious people.

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I mean if we wanted Mia and Maya together we could always have Pearl channel Mia.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Am I really though?

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Very nice! Aside from some punctuation errors,I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was kinda short,though.
Hi,I'm Southern Corn,but you can call me SC. My friends are great,and my enemies irate.

Story CrafterSC's Case Rankings™SC's LinksMysterious QR CodeCountdown to the Apocalypse

What is a quadrilateral with one 90° angle called? PM me the answer. Those who succeed get a free cookie! :cookie:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Master of all Things Cheesy

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Rank: Suspect

Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:57 am

Posts: 6

This place has already caught my eye. If I find anything suitable, I think I might post a spork of my own on here.

Perhaps a cast of :godot: :simon: and :edgeworth: ? That could be fun.

Welp, time to scour fanfiction.net, then.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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You're too slow!

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@TurtleCat
I really liked this spork! Some of the fanfics lines made me actually NOT want the sporkers to comment on it! (That's a good thing, they were VERY cringy lines) I also like the nice management idea.
Phoenix is always WRIGHT!
You could've seen that from MILES away.
I sure have a LOTTA guts for doing this.
Wow, I almost FEYNTED from all these!
Man, That detective sure is a FOOL to be so BRIGHT!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

Gender: Female

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Oh my gosh, it's here it's here it's here it's here. Barrylawn's long awaited fanfiction of the sporking theatre.


It's not his best though...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Master of all Things Cheesy

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Posts: 6

Should someone spork this, or would that be redundantly redundant? A fanfic of a sporking from this thread of a fanfic... Being sporked on this thread.

WE NEED TO GO DEEPER

EDIT: Well, I might as well just edit this on here, to avoid double posting.

I just found something I think I might want to try sporking: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10410491/1 ... y-of-Truth
It's shown up on this thread before, but nobody's sporked it. Unless I just passed over it accidentally.
Apparently, this is the author's vision of what AA6 would be (Before AA6 was announced, of course). To be honest, so far it's not that bad, but there are still a few things that are kinda off about it, such as Maya being Phoenix's girlfriend for five years, which would mean she was his girlfriend throughout the entirety of DD and AJ, even though it was never mentioned in game. Other contenders for strange things would be: a 6-year-old gets put on trial for murder, and Yumihiko Ichiyanagi from AAI2 (you might now him as Sebastian Debeste from the fan translation) is the game's main prosecutor for somehow. It's a pretty good attempt at making a fic like a game though. So far, at least.
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Posts: 812

Hello everyone... I'm back!
Been a long time since I last posted on this forum at all, let alone in this thread. In fact, I'm... actually quite surprised to see it's still running despite my dropping out of the fandom for, uh, a while. (Considering it had a tendency to die whenever I went too long without posting back when I was still active...)

I've got a major official hiatus coming up sometime in the next few months, but I'll try to post a sporking or two before then! In the meantime, I need to get caught up... haven't done that yet... well, at this point I might as well reread the whole thread, like.

The fanfiction of the sporking theatre is pretty great, though. :yogi: Maybe I should take that one when I'm caught back up

So, what's the haps here nowadays?

Edit: if there's a shortage of sporkable fics, I still have an insane amount of kink meme fics bookmarked.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Skittlemask wrote:
Oh my gosh, it's here it's here it's here it's here. Barrylawn's long awaited fanfiction of the sporking theatre.


It's not his best though...

My god. We've hit sporkception.
----
Anywho, I've finally gotten that sporking together.

Title: ace attorneys in the woods
Author: barrylawn
Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:
Honestly, I don't know what to make of this guy's stories. I'm pretty sure he's trolling--his stories include, among other things, Pees'lubn Andistan'dhin being released from prison and becoming "Detective Jesus" and a story about an r/AceAttorney meme from a week or two ago, but this stuff is just so incredibly out there it deserves a spot here. This particular story is incredibly bizarre, and as usual for Jakkid-alikes, pays minimal attention to things like grammar, spelling, or plot coherence, but with barrylawn's own favorite twist, a dash of fourth-wall-breaking bordering on self-awareness.

Sporkers:
Phoenix Wright
:nick: "Not this guy again..."
Miles Edgeworth
:edgeworth: "Another Jakkid clone? You've got to be kidding..."
Apollo Justice
:apollo-objection: "I did not agree to this!"
Athena Cykes
:athena: "How bad can it be? Let's do this!"

We open on the sporking theatre, where our sporkers are already seated.

Apollo: This is going to be bad, isn't it?

Athena: It's only three Sawhits, Apollo.

Apollo: "Only"?

Phoenix: We've gotten through fours and fives, even a couple of Dahlias. We'll be fine, as you like to put it.

Apollo: Why are they even called "Sawhits"?

Edgeworth: Now that you mention it... I've been wondering that, as well.

Phoenix: It's... uh... I'll explain later.

[The lights dim, and the sporking begins.]
Spoiler: Sporking - Chapter 1
Quote:
japanifornia is falling. gaspen pain and gumshoe are kings. phoenix was arrested. trucy was kidnapped by the moon. athena was killed by edgeworth. and blackquill is training for the samurai competition. apollo decides eough is enough and must find a happy life in the woods. CAN HE DO IT? OR WILL HE BE SLAIN BY THE TWISTED SAMURAI?

Apollo: Kidnapped... by the moon?

Edgeworth: I'm having more trouble picturing Detective Gumshoe as a king.

Athena: ...No comment on Mr. Edgeworth murdering me?

Phoenix: I'm not sure if being totally left out of the synopsis is a bad or a good thing...

Quote:
chapter 1 true love

Apollo: Titles like these are never good.

Quote:
gaspen payne got home after a long day of being yelled at bye pheonix wright and losing his case for getting two many penalties. he went into his bed and landed on detective ema skye

Apollo: Ack!

Athena: My eyes!

Edgeworth: Ngh! Who in their right mind...?!

Phoenix: This is disturbing on multiple levels!

Quote:
lol jk it was actually gummy.

Athena: *shakes fist at screen* You monster! How can you fake us out like that?!

Phoenix: Payne and Gumshoe... do they even know each other?

Edgeworth: I don't believe so, no.

Quote:
"hey pal" said gummy and payne gasped in pain

Apollo, Athena, Edgeworth, Phoenix: *collective groan*

Quote:
and asked

"what are you doing here" and gumshoe said

"im looking for a home" and payne said

"oh." they slept together all night and gaspen woke up in a hug with gummy who was still unconscious from the alcohol gaspen kept downstairs. he smelt very funny.

Apollo: I'm... concerned about the consensuality of this relationship.

Edgeworth: I'm more concerned about the author's habit of breaking lines between dialogue tags and the following dialogue. It's infuriatingly difficult to read.

Apollo: (... I'm not sure I want to know what Mr. Edgeworth's seen in here if he's focused on that, of all things...)

Quote:
gaspen winced in payne and slapped him until he died.

Apollo: We hardly knew ye.

Athena: All things considered, I can almost imagine Prosecutor Payne reacting that way to a bad smell.

Phoenix: He does bear some pretty ridiculous grudges...

Speakers: Phoenix Wright will refrain from revealing Spirit of Justice spoilers.

Phoenix: Come on! It's in the first case!

Speakers: And from breaking the fourth wall.

Quote:
there was a knock on the door and maya walked in maya said

"im here to channel gummys spirit"

Apollo: So, Ms. Maya is allowed to just walk into Prosecutor Payne's house?

Athena: And she apparently has some kind of psychic connection to Detective Gumshoe that lets her detect if he's dead.

Quote:
and she got on the bed and channeled gummy and gummy said

"yay im alive hi gaspy i missed you pal." he looked exactly like the man lying in bed because hes sleepy. gummy then huggen gaspy and he said

"i love you" and payne said

"i dont" and gummy said

"why not" and payne was tired so he said

"i love you" and they didnt hug again because they were still hugging.


Edgeworth: What does this even mean?!

Phoenix: I'm honestly not sure.

Apollo: Maybe it's a metaphor for the court system.

Edgeworth: Or perhaps for the author's love of irrelevant details.

Quote:
there was a knock on the door and shelly de killer came in and he said

"I have a duty to protect my clients" because hes important and deserves proper grammar.

Edgeworth: Apparently, "proper grammar" does not involve periods.

Quote:
gummy screamed like a 20 year old spirit medium and payne gasped in pain but de killer just walked in and took gaspens glasses and put them on

"I need to be able to see, you see" he said and left the room. aw gaspy you can have my glasses said gummy giving gaspen his glasses and gaspen said thank you and put them on. they then lived together as a happy couple who did nothing but laugh at rookie defense lawyers like pheonix wrong and apollo jester and athena psycho and drinking at the bar every night one night they even broke into the wright nothing agency and laughed at trucy for having crap company.

Apollo: OBJECTION! I-I object to that nickname!

Athena: I object too! What kind of last name is "psycho"?!

Apollo: ...Aren't you going to object too, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: I'm used to being called names by this point. "Wrong", "White", "Trite", "Flight"... Personally, I'm more offended that we're apparently "crap company" for Trucy.

Quote:
shelly de killer then came in with his fancy glasses and murdered pheonix because apollo wanted to have another game of his own.

Phoenix: What a wonderful reason to kill somebody.

Edgeworth: At least you don't have to face any more degradation at the hands of the "story", if you can call it that.

Athena: Apollo! Don't hire assassins to kill Mr. Wright!

Apollo: I didn't!

Athena: Then why did this 'de killer' guy kill Phoenix?

Apollo: Maybe he's just a crazed fan?

Quote:
"what game" asked trucy but de killer didn't answer because hes badass.

"court is now in session for the trial of apollo jester" said judge and everyone laughed except athena psycho because shes a defense lawyer and they're boring. "gaspen payne give us your opening statement" said judge and gumshoe said

"good luck pal" and payne said

"okay. the defendant hired shelly de killer to murder mr pheonix wrong because he kept stealing the spotlight from him."

Edgeworth: How was Mr. Justice even framed for the crime in the first place?

Apollo: Maybe the "to give me another game" motivation was some kind of frame-up?

Phoenix: Maybe "Apollo Jester" is somebody else entirely. Seeing as these are apparently their legal names.

Quote:
"de killer you say?" said judge. "i remember him, he was the one who murdered adrian andrews back then and juan corrida was accused and maya fey accused matt engarde of the murder" he said and payne said

"i believe so" and gummy said

"yeah pal."

Phoenix: That has nothing to do with the Engarde case at all!

Edgeworth: Maybe these really are different people.

Phoenix: Who all have the same first names as us?

Edgeworth: It makes more sense than the alternative.

Quote:
payne said

"we also have evidence, this is a quote from this fanfiction shelly de killer then came in with his fancy glasses and murdered pheonix because apollo wanted to have another game of his own." legit quote added to the court record

Apollo: Good-bye, fourth wall.

Athena: Maybe next, they'll read ahead to find out where De Killer went.

Phoenix: Followed by combing the desert to find him.

Quote:
"but i have an organizer" said payne but gumshoe said

"it's okay pal i will never leave you out of anything" and payne said

"thank you." judge said

"well i suppose there's no reason to prolong this trial i find the defen" but athena said

"objection and said i have a duty to protect my clients" and judge said

Apollo: Maybe Athena is secretly De Killer.

Athena: I'm no assassin, I'll have you know!

Apollo: It explains fic-you's last name.

Phoenix: But I thought De Killer "deserved proper grammar"?

Quote:
"you're right" and payne and gumshoe groaned.

"fine" said payne "the prosecution calls wendy oldbag to the stand."

Edgeworth: Nghoooooooooh! Anything but her!

Phoenix: At least you're not getting shipped with her this time.

Edgeworth: Don't jinx it, Wright.

Quote:
"ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh edg- wait WHERE'S EDGEYPOO" shouted oldbag and payne sweated and oldbag said "well when i was your age i always used to say oooh i want to be a witness and i would go in and edgeypoo would be there next to me fighting that NASTY BLUE SUITED DEVIL MAN with his strong words and his echoey OBJECTION! and he never said a bad thing to me except that one time when i was a big hit on tv but that was okay because he was in shock from having the grace of seeing his wendypoo again after so many hours and then he"

Phoenix: Out of all the people this guy chooses to write properly, he chooses Oldbag?

Apollo: Who even is "Oldbag"?

Phoenix: An old woman from some of my past cases.

Edgeworth: If I ever see her again, it will be too soon.

Phoenix: And before you ask, Apollo, yes, she talked exactly like this.

Apollo: (And I thought that Stickler guy was bad.)

Quote:
"can we please get on with the testimony" moaned payne

"agreed witness give us your testimony"

"okay judge."

WITNESS TESTIMONY

what i saw

"well sonny, last night i was looking for edgeypoo and decided to look in his agency so i went in and saw the gummy detective who likes edgeworth and"

"HOLD IT!" said someone and gumshoe said "hey pal, i like prosecutor payne okay pal" and oldbag said

"oops" but that didnt matter because the judge penalized payne for it.

Apollo: Why did Payne get penalized for that?

Phoenix: It's not the first time I've seen an attorney penalized for a witness's outburst...

Athena: Really? Who was the attorney?

Phoenix: Me.

Quote:
oldbag continued

"i then saw mr doe walk into the agency and murder pheonix wrong. trucy was crying because of this."

"OBJECTION!" athena pointed and shouted "ms old granny trucy was crying because gummy and payne were laughing at her" and then granny screamed in pain

Apollo: I'd hope Trucy would be saddened more by her father's death than being accused of having "crap company" by people she barely knows.

Athena: Maybe Trucy turned into an old granny, and she's the witness.

Edgeworth: A perfect example of why commas are paramount to competent writing.

Quote:
and payne raised an objection and said

"only im allowed to scream in pain" but the judge gave him a massive penalty.

Edgeworth: Does the author even know how penalties work?!

Apollo: I thought it was "gasp in pain" that he kept doing?

Phoenix: Maybe that's why he was penalized.

Edgeworth: Ngh! *penalty*

Quote:
"ms granny, you hired shelly de killer" said athena and granny shrieked but not in pain.

"good" said payne and the judge was deaf so he didnt get penalized. granny cried and cried and cried and fell onto the floor dead.

"this court finds the defendant apollo jester LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH not guilty."

Edgeworth: What?!

Phoenix: Why is Oldbag dead?!

Apollo: Why does the author think "apollo jester" is so funny?!

Athena: How did fic-me even reach that conclusion?!

Quote:
payne stormed home and cried and cried and cried and cried now that i said it four times he cried more than old granny. gumshoe kissed him on the forehead but saw he was dead.

BUT HE WOKE UP!

"I AM IMMUNE TO DEATH" shouted payne.

Phoenix: What?!

Edgeworth: "Immunity to death"?!

Phoenix: Maybe Payne is some kind of zombie?

Apollo: Or he's a robot.

Athena: Or a zombie robot!

Apollo: (Zombie robot? Throw some ninjas and pirates in there too, why don't you?)

Quote:
"gaspy your okay" said gummy and payne said

"gummy we shall not stand for this bullying" and gummy said

"what do you mean pal." payne took gummys hand and they teleported right into leifa killing her.

Phoenix: I'm not even going to try to figure out why Payne can suddenly teleport.

Apollo: "Leifa"?

Edgeworth: The pre-translation name of Princess Rayfa of Khura'in, I believe.

Speakers: Miles Edgeworth will refrain from breaking the fourth wall.

Edgeworth: That comment was necessary for the story to make sense!

Speakers: "This story"? "Sense"?

Edgeworth: Ngh! *penalty*

Quote:
"who was that pal" said gummy but payne shrugged and waved his hand and leifa came back to life like payne.

Athena: Did the author just literally hand-wave that?

Apollo: Why was it even necessary to kill her in the first place?!

Phoenix: The same reason we were tricked into believing Payne would be in bed with Ema.

Apollo: Which is...?

Phoenix: There wasn't one.

Quote:
"welcome to kingdom of kurain" said leifa "you are our king gaspen payne" and payne gasped in pain because thats how he has to gasp (thanks capcom).

Apollo: "Leifa" seems remarkably calm about the teleporting lunatic killing her and bringing her back to life.

Athena: Maybe he turned her into a zombie.

Apollo: Or a robot.

Athena: Like I said! Zombie robot!

Edgeworth: Why on Earth is Payne, of all people, the king of "Kurain"? The succession law there, as far as I am aware, is matrilineally- and seniority-based. Gaspen is a man, and a younger brother at that.

Phoenix: The same reason that the author killed Rayfa, of course.

Edgeworth: You just made that joke, Wright.

Quote:
payne became the king even though he already was and won every case because defense attorneys were silly in kurain and nobody could take the bar exam he was so happy but then he heard

"igiari" and asked

"what does that mean" and then he saw pheonix wrong at the defense bench

"wrong i thought you were dead" said payne and wrong laughed.

"i am immune to death mr payne."

Athena: Mr. Wright is a zombie robot too! Run away!

Apollo: Why is Mr. Wright randomly speaking Japanese?

Phoenix: "Defense attorneys were silly in kurain and nobody could take the bar exam"? That... is not even remotely close to why there are no defense attorneys there.

Edgeworth: I'm starting to wonder if the author knows anything about Khura'in other than the name.

Quote:
but payne laughed back and got the defendant guilty and then confetti fell from the ceiling and payne looked up and saw gummy throwing it down happily. pheonix became the laughing stock of the country and nobody had any igiaris to payne taking him as his slave.

"i still dont know what that means pal" said gaspen.

Phoenix: I have an 'igiari' to Payne taking me as his slave!

Edgeworth: That's not even the proper use of the term! The direct translation is "I disagree!" You can't "have an 'I disagree'" to something!

Odoroki: Why do so many people like using Japanese for no reason, anyway?

Mitsurugi: I suppose that there's just some sort of mystique about it.

Naruhodou: (Way to play it cool, "I-have-a-Tonosaman-figurine-in-my-office"-san.)

Quote:
MEANWHILE IN JAPANIFORNIA (thats what people call phoenixs home for some reason)

apollo jester was in tears. athena was murdered by shi long lang and trucy was kidnapped by the moon and pheonix left him responsible.

Edgeworth: What?!

Apollo: I thought that Mr. Edgeworth was the one who kills Athena?!

Athena: Who even is "shi long lang", anyway?

Edgeworth: ...An Interpol agent from Zheng Fa I met several years ago. He had a high arrest record and an... interesting sense of style.

Phoenix: (No comments on my daughter being kidnapped by a celestial body...?)

Quote:
apollo thought and thought and got an idea and he ran into the woods where nobody would ever find him but taka grabbed him and flew him to basequill, the base of simon blackquill the twisted samurai who was busy fucking dee vasquez.

"what do you want justicedono" yelled blackquill throwing an empty bottle at him it hit him in the head and apollo said

"ouch. why did your feathery... BIRD abduct me from the forest ow" said apollo as taka pecked him in the eye.

Edgeworth: ...What.

Athena: Since when does Simon have a base?!

Apollo: Ever since he's been in a relationship with "Dee Vasquez", apparently.

Phoenix: (Blackquill and... Vasquez, of all people? This author has some bizarre pairings...)

Quote:
blackquill laughed "oh justicedono taka is a gentleman" he said

"a gentleman you say" said professor layton.

"yes" said blackquill "hes very nice."

Athena: Of course Professor Layton shows up.

Apollo: Why is he such a popular choice for Ace Attorney crossovers? We have nothing in common!

Phoenix: Actually... (No... it'll be harder to explain than it's worth.)

Apollo: ?

Quote:
"does he like puzzles" asked luke and blackquill said

"yes hes very smart" so professor gave taka a puzzle named the knights tour 4 which taka solved in 3.4 seconds.

"he didnt even use a hint coin unlike us" said layton.

Edgeworth: I want to make a comment about breaking the fourth wall... but honestly, that's not even notable in this story any more.

Quote:
"hmph" said blackquill "the ransom is paid you may now go justicedono" and justice yelled in victory with his chords of steel.

Apollo: How was that a "ransom"? He kidnaps me, then his bird solves a puzzle offered by Professor Layton, and this means I'm free to go?

Athena: It makes just as much sense as the moon kidnapping Trucy.

Phoenix: Or Payne and I being immune to death.

Edgeworth: Or the synopsis and story not agreeing on who kills Ms. Cykes.

Quote:
TO BE CONTINUE

AN hey guys what do you think of my NEW SERIES? tell me in the reviews and ill make more tomorrow!

Phoenix: It's over?

Apollo: It's over.

Edgeworth: Please tell me the author didn't follow up on that "TO BE CONTINUE"...

Speakers: They did, actually. We'll be doing the whole fic.

Edgeworth: Ngh!

Speakers: All seven chapters.

Edgeworth: Nghooooooooh!

[The sporkers walk out of the theater. Athena comforts Edgeworth, while Apollo tries to get Phoenix to explain why Professor Layton x Ace Attorney is so popular.]

---

That was harder than I thought, heh. It was fun, though; I rather enjoyed writing the dialogue once I got into it. Comments? Constructive criticism? I feel like I should've tried to stretch some of the jokes out further, and I probably need more practice with in-character writing, but I'm satisfied with the result overall.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Am I really though?

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Hilarious. You made me laugh so hard that snot came out of my nose. Thanks (?)
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Nice sporking! I laughed out loud at the Japanese joke... startling my cat. :shoe:
I have to ask, though, since I haven't caught back up yet - is the pseudo-continuity we used to have here not really a thing anymore? Because honestly Apollo is (or should be, assuming) just as much of an old hat at this as Phoenix or Edgeworth.

Also, I think I probably inferred as much as I need to know already, but who exactly is Jakkid?
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Here. Sorry in advance for the mental scarring that is about to ensue.
Hi,I'm Southern Corn,but you can call me SC. My friends are great,and my enemies irate.

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Cause of death is being dummy

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Southern Corn wrote:
Here. Sorry in advance for the mental scarring that is about to ensue.

Wait a minute... "phoenix wright ace christian"...
Okay yeah, I know who this is.

Don't tell me everyone's been sporking Jakkid and Jakkid-alikes lately, though. Have y'all?
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Am I really though?

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Well... :bellboy:
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What is a quadrilateral with one 90° angle called? PM me the answer. Those who succeed get a free cookie! :cookie:
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I mean, there's nothing wrong with Jakkid and Jakkid-alikes. I just mean that as funny as intentionally bad fics, grammatical trainwrecks, and complete absolute nonsense are, it's still good to have fics in here that are, for the most part, (mostly) competently written but still bad for plot or characterization reasons - for instance, Breathing Is A Necessity (just bringing that one up because I'm in the middle of sporking a soundalike for a different fandom currently, lol).
Again - I'm not actually caught up on the thread yet. What was our last Dahlia? Maybe I should follow up on the year-or-two-old foreshadowing/threatening in the BIAN MST as my first sporking back...
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
I mean, there's nothing wrong with Jakkid and Jakkid-alikes. I just mean that as funny as intentionally bad fics, grammatical trainwrecks, and complete absolute nonsense are, it's still good to have fics in here that are, for the most part, (mostly) competently written but still bad for plot or characterization reasons.


Well, we did have someone spork Maya Fey: Ace Thief, which wasn't a troll fic, but was written by someone with a very minimal grasp of the English language, and the plot copied the movie Catch that Kid.

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Edit: if there's a shortage of sporkable fics, I still have an insane amount of kink meme fics bookmarked.

We still have quite a long list of fics (and I haven't updated it in a while either...) But you're still welcome to post some kink meme fics. I don't think anyone here frequents the kink meme all that much.

Also, I'm pretty sure our last Dahlia was Phoenix Drive.
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Skittlemask wrote:
I'm pretty sure our last Dahlia was Phoenix Drive.

Last I saw that was just one part, was there ever a part two?

I may dump some kink meme fics later today, but only ones that fulfill my suggestion about "(mostly) competently written but still bad for plot or characterization reasons".
Orrrr I could just straight-up do another kink meme special... after I've caught up on the thread, of course. I don't even remember which number it would be. (Didn't someone who wasn't me do Part III?)

Or I could do both. :yogi:
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There was a part two, yeah.
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Not a kink meme fic, but I wouldn't be surprised if it originated there: "Apollo's having a difficult time adjusting to a relationship with someone who actually loves him. TRIGGER WARNING: domestic abuse, implied rape" Pairing: Phoenix/Apollo
This is a kink meme fic although it was uploaded on The Pit. "Apollo has just started interning at Gavin Law Offices. One night, he is working late for Kristoph and is too shy to ask for a bathroom break. Kristoph decides to have a little fun torturing his new intern. Kristoph/Apollo omorashi" (I have waaaay too many fetish fics bookmarked... they're just such easy targets!)
This is an eight-chapter crossover with Frozen, Wreck-it Ralph, and Pokémon.

We'll leave it at those three for now.
(Side note: that creepy Gant/kid!Nick I've made a million jokes about/references to is almost 30k words. I'd forgotten it was so long...)
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Master of all Things Cheesy

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I have a few questions. First, I can't find a way to copy and paste from fanfiction.net, and it'll be kind of tedious to rewrite it for my spork. Can anybody help me with this? Second, I have started my Apollo Justice: Trinity of Truth spork, and I was wondering if anybody would be willing to look over what I write before I post it, so I can be sure my sporkers are all in character and whatnot. The first part isn't finished yet, but it will be soonish.
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Kojak Jojokes wrote:
I have a few questions. First, I can't find a way to copy and paste from fanfiction.net, and it'll be kind of tedious to rewrite it for my spork. Can anybody help me with this? Second, I have started my Apollo Justice: Trinity of Truth spork, and I was wondering if anybody would be willing to look over what I write before I post it, so I can be sure my sporkers are all in character and whatnot. The first part isn't finished yet, but it will be soonish.

If you use Chrome, this is what I use. For other browsers, just google "copy paste on fanfiction net" and you should be able to find an extension.

I can proofread your spork if no one else wants to, but since I am busy, by all means, everyone else in the thread, you're welcome to it!
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I'll proofread it if I have the time but I'm kind of bat at it.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12226913/1 ... fence-Doom

Weird guy is like "Hello Mr Wright take these cases or I'll kill you"
and Nick is like "SHIIIIIIIIIT, TO COURT!"

How didn't Jakkid come up with this idea? Shame on you, Jakkid.
Phoenix Wright: The Jakkid Series.

This used to be an image but I changed by signature because reason and now I can't put the image back damn I think CR gold really is a thing.
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ArrowLawn wrote:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12226913/1/Phoenix-Wright-Ace-Attorney-Defence-Doom

Let's see... first chapter isn't actually a chapter, but an extended author's note. Oh dear, oh dear.
Quote:
It would have five cases spanning over 30 chapters,

OH DEAR.
And it has shippings, too! And literally only one of them I like, blah
Quote:
Phoenix is given a case by Defence Doom, in which he has to defend Sean Bean,

Image

Plus Klavier goes on trial, Maya is almost assassinated and the defendant is named Asa Sin, and Rayfa just straight-up dies. :beef: And Godot is prosecutor!

Well, this certainly looks like sporkable material! ...after it's completed, that is. Looks like it'll take a while, so can I put dibs on this one for after my hiatus? (Assuming I return to this forum/thread then...)
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You're too slow!

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I love this thread.
Phoenix is always WRIGHT!
You could've seen that from MILES away.
I sure have a LOTTA guts for doing this.
Wow, I almost FEYNTED from all these!
Man, That detective sure is a FOOL to be so BRIGHT!
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arsenicCatnip

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8516299 Found another one.
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Fantina's perfect little Franny!

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Oh! Mentions of pokemon crossovers!
Is it weird to say I feel honoured having some of my fics sporked here? I'd like to look back and think I've improved as a writer though.
Hoping May's Justice is a vast improvement from Law Plus Chaos
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Chloe wrote:
Oh! Mentions of pokemon crossovers!
Is it weird to say I feel honoured having some of my fics sporked here? I'd like to look back and think I've improved as a writer though.
Hoping May's Justice is a vast improvement from Law Plus Chaos

Thought I recognized your username.

Just about anything would be an improvement over Law Plus Chaos, and I mean that in the nicest way possible, because that fic was and still is an endless source of mirth for me.
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Honestly,that fic actually started out rather entertaining for me,but by the end I was so fed up with it and its plot.

No offence to you of course.
Hi,I'm Southern Corn,but you can call me SC. My friends are great,and my enemies irate.

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