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The LOL Thread: Laughing Over LawyersTopic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6136

Salutation here Greetings, Court-Records!

I've only joined these forums just last month, but I've found this site to be an outright wonderful experience. I just thought I'd like to contribute an idea of my own by starting this thread. I've peeked around and noticed that there's no specific thread for a topic like this. Moderators, if I've made any mistake with this, I apologize in advance. Please feel free to remove it.

Anyway, this is a thread dedicated to Ace Attorney fans who feel a need for a good laugh or two! Post your own jokes, comedic skits, or whatnot using our favorite characters of this series. A sense of visual arts or editing knowledge are not required, so write to your heart's content! And unlike the Sporking Threatre, this thread doesn't focus on parodying others' works; rather, it's a display of creative and witty writing skills (which is why it's here in the fanfiction forum).

Before I set things in motion, let's go over a few rules to keep it organized.

1. This is a creative writing thread focused around the Ace Attorney series. If you must write a parody on other works, please take it to the appropriate thread. Go ahead and play with OOC moments as you wish; they are welcomed.
2. Crossovers with other franchises are permitted. But remember, if someone needs a joke to be explained, you might need to tweak your work a bit. (Don't worry about first draft slip-ups! That's a part of becoming an ace writer!)
3. Fan-created characters are allowed only if they play minor roles. While I have no problem at all with them, having to describe a completely new character may take out the fun (and thus, the point) in these quick-writes.
4. There's no limit to length. But if you're planning a story, please keep it within a single chapter's worth. A joke isn't very healthy if it has to drag on for several pages. (And no, I don't mean brick jokes or running gags. They are allowed capriciously and sparingly across multiple posts, not within one.)
5. Please keep the competition down! We're here to share jokes and enjoy them, not best each other over who's the best comedian. You're free to critique others' works, but stay civil and polite. The last thing we want in here is a flame war and I don't mean with flamethrowers.
6. Always keep in mind as you're writing that if anything may appear misleading, spoiler-fraught, offensive, or possibly debate-worthy, leave it out. This includes rants of any sort and character bashing.
7. Last but not least, HAVE A GREAT TIME. This is a thread for jokes, after all!

Alrighty, am I leaving out anything else? I probably have. Then, I'll contribute a couple quickies from the top of my head here to start us off.

1)
A TV star and a defense attorney unexpectedly meet in bar. After exchanging the usual greetings, they sit down and have some drinks.

"So, how's life been treating you, Mr. Powers?"
"Oh, it's been great! Our latest Nickel Samurai movie production was a great hit! The kids just love watching those kinds of fights. We're even considering a sequel."
"Wow, that's nice to hear."
"How about you, Mr. Wright? Been busy with cases?"
"I guess you could say that, but it's no blessing on the financial side, sadly. In fact, I've lately been concerned with those upcoming rental payments. They've just been piling on."
"Really? That's too bad. But I'd expected a famous defense attorney like you to find enough clients to at least pay off your rent. Or is your office really that high-maintenance?"
"Oh, no. It's not my rent that's the problem. It's Gumshoe's. The poor guy."
"Ah, for a moment there, I was a bit worried about that girl you're usually with."
"Oh, believe me, she's definitive proof of high maintenance. Just last night, her cravings robbed me of my latest paycheck!"

2)
Kay just loves taking pictures wherever she goes, and she's rather proud about her collections. But there has always been one thing she wanted to catch a snapshot of: a terror-eyed Edgeworth. It almost seemed impossible to frighten the stoic and collected prosecutor. Then one day, she meets with Maya and Franziska, and decides to set a bet with them.

"Whoever of us can first catch a shot of his terror-filled face wins 50 bucks, and the other two will have to pay."
"Hmph! Such a foolishly simple task demands a much higher pay. I suggest 100."
"Just the right amount! I'm sure I got this in the bag."
"Each of us will be given three days, and then we'll meet back here. Alright, let's go!"

So for those three days, the girls tried to be as subtle about their plans as possible. Kay tried all sorts of tricks to get a scare out of her target, but was always returned with an irritated glare. Franziska resorted to threats of whip lashes when she couldn't defeat him in arguments, but he was too used to them to care. (Too bad for the detective that works with them, though.) Maya, meanwhile, took the first two days easy, as if she wasn't even trying to catch Edgeworth's attention. Then, on the third day, she goes right up to his office, politely asks to see him, and says one little thing. The prosecutor was out of the room so instantly that she almost missed a shot.

When the girls reunite, Kay and Franziska were dumbfounded.

"Just what did you say to him?"
"Oh, it was nothing much. I just told him that I last saw Larry by Gourd Lake sharing tales with Lotta about how much of a Steel Samurai fanboy Mr. Edgeworth was."

The other two were silent for a moment, and then Kay cracks up. Franziska simply smirks to herself. "I suppose I'll have something new to talk to him about next time."
Maya triumphantly declares, "Now where're those 100 bucks?"
Kay shakes her head, explaining, "Sorry, Maya. The bet was for his face. You only caught him rushing out."
Maya gasps in shock for a moment before sinking into a sigh. "Well, I guess I now owe Nick his 100."
Franziska asks, "Why do you owe that fool anything?"
"I bet him 100 bucks in a dare to go to Gourd Lake dressed as Larry and hit on Lotta."

The girls give each other curious stares, and they rush off to watch the fruits of Maya's labor.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.
Updated to include tributes and more to the Yakuza game series. I'm forever trapped in karaoke hell.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: The LOL Thread: Laughing Over LawyersTopic%20Title
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^Me all the time^

Gender: Female

Location: Derpland

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:50 am

Posts: 19

Oh god, that second one was pure gold. XD
I would post something, but I'm not that good at writing...
Re: The LOL Thread: Laughing Over LawyersTopic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6136

That-One-Weird-Kid wrote:
Oh god, that second one was pure gold. XD
I would post something, but I'm not that good at writing...

Don't be shy, any attempts are welcome. By the way, writing jokes is mainly about building up to a clincher. If you have a clincher thought out, then the rest can come naturally. I can offer a few tips.

1. Think about the setting of your joke.
It's important to decide on the background first before anything else. This is where you can fall back on when you run into an obstacle.

2. Decide on a topic of discussion.
Just let your imagination run wild, and don't worry about who the characters are yet. Start with something mundane and work your way outward. Here is where you set the basis for your clincher. Think about how you want your joke to end. (The first joke above is an example of what happens when you lose sight of this.)

3. Choose your characters carefully.
Although a joke can involve any two characters whatsoever, it's better to use characters that you have a better understanding of. Usually, this involves two characters that closely interact with each other more frequently than otherwise.

4. Decide whether you want certain characters to act in or out of character.
Self-explanatory; but make sure you keep in character at least one or two characters in a cast. Otherwise, things can get pretty hectic.

5. Work on the build-up.
This is the most frustrating part of brainstorming, to make some ideas come together, but it's supposed to be a slow and steady process. Experiment with how you want to transition among scenes. Short jokes prefer even shorter transitions, but long jokes can vary.

6. Proofread and review.
2nd most important step in this list. Before you submit something, always make a check over to pick out minor details and smooth the reading process. It's important to be the reader before becoming the writer.

I always feel like I'm leaving out something. I may update the first post if this becomes some sort of guideline. If this list doesn't help some people, they're free to add to it.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.
Updated to include tributes and more to the Yakuza game series. I'm forever trapped in karaoke hell.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: The LOL Thread: Laughing Over LawyersTopic%20Title
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Foolish foolhardy fools...

Gender: Female

Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Thu May 09, 2013 4:42 pm

Posts: 86

I can't think of a genius joke like the two you put down, but I can try some short ones....

Why can Edgeworth never defeat the Ground or Rock-type gym leaders when he plays Pokemon?
Because he always faints when they use Earthquake!

Why does Acro never take Money the Monkey to a pub late at night?
Because he'd drink too much and go bananas.

...I'm rubbish at making jokes. Sorry. :larry:
Please don't hate meeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Re: The LOL Thread: Laughing Over LawyersTopic%20Title
User avatar

Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6136

I have no regrets coming up with this. This is just something stupid I came up when I first saw Athena's English line...

Spoiler: Warning for random DD OOC-ness!
Phoenix Wright, Apollo Justice, Miles Edgeworth, Athena Cykes, Trucy Wright, Maya Fey, and Pearl Fey group up in a courthouse lobby, discussing plans regarding a certain trial with a certain criminal prosecutor.

Phoenix: Okay, guys, this prosecutor has been giving us a lot of trouble in the past. Do we need anything from this guy or can we bypass him somehow?

Maya: I think Athena needs something from him.

Phoenix: Doesn't she have her Mood Matrix already? We'll be fighting against him.

Maya: Yeah, but that'll just be for just in case. I have the better ace up my sleeve.

Phoenix: Geez... Okay, uh... well, what we'll do: I'll head in first, and try a few bluffs, so we can keep 'em lost and discredible. Um, I will use an Intimidating Shout, just to scatter 'em, so we don't have to fight a bunch of 'em at once. Um... When my shout's down, I'll need Apollo to come in and drop his shout too, so we can keep them scattered, not to fight too many. Um, when his is done, Athena should run in and do the same thing. We're gonna need Divine Intervention from our magician and mediums, so uh, we can knock 'em down fast. Then, hopefully, the detectives can come in with the decisive evidence we need, or we'll be in serious trouble. Uh, I think it's a pretty good plan, and we should be able to pull it off this time. Uh... What do you think, Edgeworth, can you give me a number crunch real quick?

Edgeworth: Hold on, give me a second... I'm coming up with 32.33 - repeating the 4's - percentage of success.

Phoenix: Hmm, that's a lot better than what we usually do. Uh, alright...

Athena: Okay, chins up! Ready, guys? Let's do this! Athenaaaaaa Cyyyyyykes!

Phoenix: Oh my God, she just ran in.

Apollo: Save her! Come on, guys, stick to the plan!

Trucy: Let's go! Let's go!

Maya: Stick to the plan, guys!

Pearl: I'll try my best!

~
(Halfway through the trial)

Phoenix: Oh geez, oh damn...

Pearl: Divine Intervention!

Phoenix: Hurry up! The Shout!

Apollo: Ugh, I'm still beaten... I can't do it.

Athena: Whoops, it wasn't that one...

Trucy: Ack! What do we do now? It's not working!

Edgeworth: What the hell is this!?

Maya: Oh boy...

Pearl: I'm sorry! I-I failed to channel...

Edgeworth: Oh for crying out loud...

Phoenix: ...Dammit, Athena!

ApollO: Athena, you...!

Maya: Oh come on! Why now?

Edgeworth: That's it. I'm out of here.

Apollo: Same here.

Pearl: D-did we fail because of me?

Trucy: No, no! It's not you!

Maya: Athena, why!?

Athena: ...It's not my fault!

Edgeworth: Just reload the game. This trial is beyond saving.

Phoenix: Wait, when was the last time we saved?

Trucy: Wasn't it back in the last case?

Apollo: ...Oh God.

Phoenix: Oh, for... *sigh*

Maya: Well, we're all down.

Edgeworth: We'll have to get through the investigations yet again...

Pearl: I wish I could help more...

Trucy: Hey, don't worry about it!

Phoenix: Athena, it's back to law school with you.

Athena: ...Least I have chicken.

Apollo: Not funny!


Well, even if it's not that good, it was a fun idea from the start.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.
Updated to include tributes and more to the Yakuza game series. I'm forever trapped in karaoke hell.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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