Board index » Present Evidence » Present Testimony

Page 1 of 1[ 7 posts ]
 


A Day To RememberTopic%20Title
User avatar

Foolish foolhardy fools...

Gender: Female

Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Thu May 09, 2013 4:42 pm

Posts: 86

Well, hey! I'm PhoenixFlame53 and I'm pretty new on here. :edgy:
I've read a lot of the fanfiction on here and most of them are amazing, so I decided to write my own!

My first one is:

Title: A Day To Remember
Author: Me!
Rating: PG?
Genre: Um....Romance? :pearl:
Status: If this goes well, I'll add more chapters. Else it will stay a oneshot for now! :phoenix:
Pairing: Phoenix/Iris :edgy:
Summary: Phoenix, Larry and Edgeworth all know that days at school can get very boring, but what happens one lunchtime is an experience they shall never forget.... :maya:

Spoiler: Here it is! My first fan-fic!
It was exactly twelve o’clock on one of the hottest days of the year; almost every student at Maple High clambered over bins, tables, and even other people in their rush to catch even a glimpse of shade.
Two friends, both 15 years old, were walking together down a corridor about to go outside. One wore a maroon red blazer and a cravat, whereas the other wore a blue blazer and had extremely spiky jet-black hair that looked like it could pass for a lethal weapon.
“Hey, Edgey? What d’you think Larry’s up to? I mean, apart from falling over.” asked the spiky-haired boy, turning towards his best friend. The other boy smirked in his usual I-have-the-answer way and scratched the back of his neck.
“Who knows?” he replied, stopping to carefully adjust his pristine cravat. “I think he’s probably off eating hotdogs or flirting with girls way out of his league.”
Laughing, they finally reached the door leading to the outside quad and were about to walk out, before they heard an all too familiar voice.
“NIIIICK? EDGEEEEY? Where ARE you guys?!”
Phoenix grinned, assuming that Edgeworth had impersonated Larry.
“Nice impression! How did you do it so accurately?”
To his surprise, Edgeworth grinned and smiled weakly, shaking his head.
“That…wasn’t me, unfortunately.”
Phoenix suddenly realised what had happened, but it was far too late; someone had rushed up to the duo while they were talking and was now hugging them both so tightly that Phoenix thought he would stop breathing.
“Nick! Edgey!” cried Larry, as he let go of his friends and they gasped for air. “I’ve been looking for you EVERYWHERE!”
Phoenix and especially Edgeworth weren’t at all impressed. After all, it was the Butz, and he doesn’t impress easily. An infamous phrase came to mind as they both recalled the past school years with Larry: ‘When something smells, it’s usually the Butz.’
“Larry,” groaned Phoenix, as he gained his composure, “Please stop shouting. Please?”
“OK, buddy! But desperate measures call for desperate times, eh, Edgey?”
Edgeworth, ever the perfectionist, started to correct him, but in vain.
“It’s the other way around, Larry-” he began, but the now overjoyed Larry grabbed both him and Phoenix by the collar and practically dragged them out the room in glee.
“Come on, guys! I’m almost starving to death here..!”
*
The heat was still excruciating; on the metal benches alone it felt like you could easily fry an egg, but at least it was a little bit cooler than earlier. Phoenix, Larry and Edgeworth were slumped in exhaustion from the heat on one of the benches since the seats in the shade were, unfortunately, taken up by everyone else.
“Wow, it’s hot here, isn’t it?” said Phoenix. “I didn’t know that it got this hot so early in summer.”
“Well, you hit the nail on the head there.” Edgeworth had put down his Steel Samurai manga (which he made sure no one but Phoenix or Larry saw him reading; for that, he employed the help of an old book cover) and was eating a tuna sandwich.
“Nick….” Larry moaned, lightly poking him on the shoulder until he turned around in annoyance.
“What is it, Larry?!”
“I-I have no lunch money….”
Phoenix wasn’t particularly feeling generous right now, what with the heat and everything, but he felt obliged to help Larry. After all, that trial years ago…he already owed him much, much more than that.
“Larry,” Edgeworth whispered so that Phoenix couldn’t hear, “don’t tell Nick what really happened that day, OK? He’ll find out soon enough.”
“Right!” Larry replied, a little too loudly.
“What was that, guys?”
“Oh! N-nothing!” they said in unison. Phoenix felt somewhat awkward, so he fell silent and scratched his head in embarrassment until he remembered Larry’s plea.
“Well, here’s the money, Larry. You can-”
“No need.” interrupted a quiet, feminine voice. All three looked up and tried to stop themselves from gasping in shock. A beautiful girl with long, black hair, a pink dress with a red sash and a strange, purple necklace was standing right in front of them.
Phoenix was entranced. A girl like that was almost impossible to find around these parts, not to mention she was friendly and thought of approaching the Butz; that was a feat within itself.
“Here you go…Larry, was it?” the girl asked Larry, turning towards him and smiling sweetly, her eyes closed. Larry merely nodded, and the girl handed him enough change to buy lunch with.
“T-thank you…” Larry managed to get out, before staring blankly off into space, evidently fallen for this new girl. She laughed, and smiled again.
“No worries! I still have loads on me.” she replied, before looking at the other two people on the bench.
Suddenly, the bottom of her dress caught on the bottom of the bench, and she tripped up and fell. Edgeworth looked seriously worried and came down beside her.
“Are you OK? Are you hurt?” he asked, offering her his hand. She took it, and he helped her up.
“Do you need anything? I can-”
“I’m fine, really.” she interrupted, laughing at his concern and putting a finger to his mouth to silence him. “Thank you.”
Edgeworth sat down and blinked in shock; he had never felt like this before. Ever. He had been studying for so long and trying so hard to become perfect- is this what he’d been missing?
In the meantime, Iris turned around gaily, like a ballerina twirling in an almost heavenly sequence.
She stopped short when she saw Phoenix sitting on the bench, and stared at him with open eyes, the exact same thing he was doing. Larry, Phoenix and the girl didn’t realise that Edgeworth was also looking at her, hand over his mouth.
“H-hello.” the girl stuttered and quickly went bright red.
“H-hi….what’s your name?” Phoenix said, blushing as well, ever looking into her eyes.
“Iris…my name is Iris Fey. What’s your name?”
“Phoenix…Phoenix Wright.”
After what seemed like an eternity, a red-haired girl spotted them and marched up to them in anger.
“Iris! W-what on earth are you doing?!” the girl spat.
“Dahlia!” she gasped, unlocking eyes with Phoenix and grabbing the girl’s shoulder. “I wasn’t doing anything bad, I promise!”
Larry stood up, and to Phoenix’s surprise actually looking frustrated. That’s not like Larry at all, he thought, as Larry gently pushed Dahlia’s shoulder.
“Hey! Let her do what she wants! I mean-” he faltered, looking like he didn’t want to say anything more, “I mean, she’s just met someone she likes. Leave her!”
Dahlia looked shocked, then clenched her fists and almost started hyperventilating.
“Oh no, Larry! You’ve made her…” Iris groaned, looking like the end of the world had come.
“IRIS! We’re going!” the girl screamed, and without another word she turned and dragged Iris off. Iris waved lightly at Phoenix before she was taken out of sight.
Larry looked like he was almost about to break down in tears; the love of his life had just been dragged off because of him, after all.
“I better use this lunch money, then….NIIIICK! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO MEEEE?” he burst out, and with that Larry ran off to the canteen, wiping his eyes with his sleeve as he ran. Phoenix almost felt like he was betraying his friend, but he quickly wiped the thought off his mind; if Larry fell in love, this would usually happen.
“Hey, Edgey… I’ve never seen Larry like that before. Edgeworth? Edgeworth….?”
Edgeworth was quickly brought back to reality. “W-what..? Oh, right. I must admit, it was a bit strange of him…I wonder if he’s OK?”
“Me too.”
And with that, the clock struck one- the start of their next lesson. Immediately, the boys left for class, each with many thoughts buzzing through their heads; but one primary thought blocked almost everything else, logical or not: ‘Who is that girl?’
*
Edgeworth was walking home in a slightly slower-than-usual pace, his arms drooping by his sides. ‘What really happened at lunch?’ he thought, frowning as if in deep concentration. Suddenly, he heard footsteps and the familiar crunch of gravel beside him. “Miles Edgeworth.” a harsh, curt voice rang out. Edgeworth, however, took no notice whatsoever and carried on walking in a sort of trance. ‘Why did it happen, and why…did I…feel so strange?” He felt ashamed that he couldn’t get his head around such a trivial matter. “Miles Edgeworth!” the voice repeated, a little louder and aggressive in an attempt to get his attention. By now, Edgeworth had realised that the voice came from none other than his sister, Franziska.
After that incident, Manfred von Karma, a god among prosecutors, had adopted Edgeworth as both his father and mentor. Franziska at that time was only two years old but throughout the years she had quite a shaky bond with her adopted brother. Now, she was eight, acted as if she was 13 and didn’t respect Edgeworth much; after all, he always did his own thing and left her out. Spurting short, silver hair, a black, white and turquoise outfit and an attitude to boot, Franziska was one girl you didn’t want to mess with.
Edgeworth didn’t think of her much right now, so he ignored her: a foolish mistake. It was the last straw for Franziska, and in the blink of an eye she firmly hit Edgeworth with her riding crop repeatedly until he turned around in his agony to finally acknowledge her.
“What?!”
“Miles Edgeworth! I’ve been calling you for ages now!”
“Franziska, I’m thinking!” he cried, before she lashed out at him, causing a red mark to abruptly appear on his arm.
“That does not give you reprieve to ignore me, Miles Edgeworth!” she yelled, before sighing deeply, folding her arms and tapping her index finger in a manner Edgeworth knew all too well.
“Back to business, then. I saw you foolishly talking to a girl this lunchtime.”
Edgeworth gulped and blushed deep red. How did Franziska know about Iris?
“You were looking at her…like you were in love, Miles Edgeworth.”
“What’s wrong with that?” he retorted, before Franziska released her wrath yet again in the form of her trusty riding crop.
“Love is foolish, Miles Edgeworth! I mean, who needs love anyway, when you can become successful, be feared, have a prosperous life-”
“I NEED IT!” Edgeworth burst out in a sudden fit of anger, then hastily covered his mouth with both hands, wishing he had never said that. Franziska smirked in a feeling of great shadenfreude while she got ready to run off, probably back home.
“Wait until I tell Daddy, Miles Edgeworth..” she sneered, before a firm hand grabbed her sleeve so she couldn’t go any further. A gargantuan ego she may have had, but strength-wise her leather weapon was her only friend.
“You tell him,” Edgeworth spat, almost sounding threatening, “You tell him and I will….I will….”
He thought for a moment of a suitable punishment, then it hit him. Young love; how sweet. Smiling broadly, he turned to face Franziska once more.
“I’ll tell him about that time when you had a crush on Jacob Ashcroft.”
“NO! No, you won’t! What a foolish suggestion-”
“Then I guess you’d better keep your promise. As for me...I never break them.”
Without warning, Edgeworth let go of Franziska and sprinted away, leaving Franziska dumbstruck and clutching her riding crop as if to say, “I’ll get you later.” Deciding it was not the best time to follow him, Franziska gave up her pursuit and slumped off in the opposite direction, feeling rather betrayed.
“Foolhardy, foolish fool who makes such a foolish promise and forces me to keep this foolery of a deal….” she mumbled to herself, as the sun slowly set on a day to remember.


I know it's not very romantic as of yet...but it was designed to be a multi-chapter and I realised it kinda works as a one-shot too. :minuki:
Thanks for reading, and have a great day!

EDIT: I finally got round to Chapter 2! Sorry for the delay; I had lots of homework and projects and stuff to do, and the chapter took me WAY longer than expected when I got round to it.
But I'm not giving this up just yet! :edgy:
Spoiler: Chapter 2! Yay!
It was a few weeks after that fateful day- the day that she came into their lives and touched all three of them. Phoenix, Edgeworth and Larry were walking to their History class, Edgeworth concentrating on his manga and Phoenix and Larry discussing the school prom.
“Nick! I know what you should do!” Larry exclaimed, startling Edgeworth and Phoenix so much that they nearly bumped into an incoming houseplant.
“What? We’ve thought of everything, though..” Phoenix mumbled, before Larry put his arm around him and skipped along the corridor, pulling the reluctant Phoenix beside him.
“Of course not! Right, you know the prom’s on Valentine’s Day?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, why don’t you send a letter to the one you love, asking her to go to the prom with you?”
Edgeworth pricked up his ears. ‘To the one he loves, huh?’ he thought to himself, listening intently to the conversation next to him.
“I-I don’t love anybody!” Phoenix pleaded desperately, blushing bright red, but it was no use. Larry had already seen Iris walking in front of them, hand-in-hand with Dahlia.
“Oh yeah? Then pray tell, Romeo, why you’re blushing at Juliet over there?” Larry asked in mock surprise, pointing at the sisters, but when Dahlia turned around casting her ‘I despise you all!’ look straight at him, he fell silent.
Edgeworth cleared his throat, and both Larry and Phoenix turned to listen to him; it was a regular thing that Edgeworth would do to get their attention while reading.
“You know, that’s actually a good idea, Larry. I might do that.”
Seriously?! You’d take my advice?” Larry spluttered, over-reacting to a single comment; a regular thing of his. Phoenix put
his hand to his face and shook his head in shame while Larry pranced around in glee.
“Yes, Larry.” Edgeworth sighed, before he felt himself embraced in a full-on hug.
“THANKS, EDGEEEEY! I knew you were a great friend, I knew it, I just KNEW it…”
Heads turned as Larry rambled on with no sign of stopping. Phoenix took no notice of this; at least, he tried to, but in vain.
“Larry…?” Edgeworth asked, after a long period of silence.
“Yeah?”
“Let me go, please.”
It finally hit Larry that everyone was staring at them; some stifling their laughter and some grinning widely. Even Iris was smiling a bit at Larry’s act, but Dahlia had her arms crossed and brow furrowed just as normal.
“Iris, why are you smiling? This guy is stranger than anyone I’ve ever met.”
Iris laughed and beamed in her usual way, causing Dahlia to frown even more.
“He’s…a friend. You’ve got to admit, he’s cute.” Iris replied, which turned Dahlia a faint shade of pink.
“I’m not admitting to anything!” she retorted in anger, and quickly ran off, pushing people out of the way in her quick retreat.
Hastily, Larry let go of the now red-faced Edgeworth and hurried off to class. In his rush, he didn’t notice that he had dropped his bag and his books were now scattered across the floor.
“Poor Larry,” said Phoenix, pausing for a moment then picking up Larry’s things, “Always getting into stuff like this.”
Edgeworth nodded his head in agreement and stooped down to watch the crouched Phoenix reluctantly stuffing some new HB pencils into Larry’s bag.
“Need some help?”
“No, but it would be nice if you could.” Phoenix replied, looking Edgeworth in the eye and smiling, albeit faintly.
Edgeworth beamed.
The good old days were wonderful, when it was just Phoenix, Larry, Edgeworth and everyone else they didn’t know that well. It was almost like they were in a whole new dimension created just for them. Laughing, jumping, playing- everyone gave it their all.
But now - since she had come - there was nothing else to talk about. It was Iris, Iris, Iris all the time.
Edgeworth still didn’t know what he felt. After all, beauty comes from the inside; at least, that’s what his father had told him a very long time ago. And yet, whenever either of his best friends mentioned Iris he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy deep inside him.
He remembered the day when he met them like it was merely last week.
“B-but...I didn’t do it! I didn’t steal his money!”
“Not good enough, Phoenix! We know you did it.”
Edgeworth remembered Phoenix’s reaction. It was like everything had ended, nothing was left, everything had disappeared before his very eyes.
“ Please…someone…believe me, please…I-I didn’t do it…”
“Liar, Phoenix Wright! You are such a-”
“OBJECTION!”
When Edgeworth finally shouted that, he knew it was what he had to do for the rest of his life. Defend people. Help them. Actually care for them when no-one else would.
And after a certain Christmas Eve, boy did Edgeworth know a lot about caring.
He accepted it when a man he had seen against his father in the courtroom offered it to him, and that very man shaped Edgeworth to who he was today. Instead of defending, he wanted to condemn. Instead of caring, he tried to force himself not to.
But something deep within him still longed for a love that was special- only someone who could protect him from harsh judgement, someone who would accept him as he was, someone who cared not for reputation but him could give.
Iris was the image of that person: friendly, nice, the apple of everyone’s eye- and Edgeworth needed her; but for now, just memories of his younger days would suffice.
Then he would try again, knowing exactly what he wanted.
“Hey, Edgeworth. It’s nearly time for class to start, but…could I ask you something first?” Phoenix queried. It was clear from his expression and a bead of sweat forming that it was quite a personal matter.
“OK. What is it?”
“Well…I don’t know whether to ask Iris to the prom or not. I really don’t know. I mean, Larry’s advice was good, but….should I?”
Edgeworth suddenly turned nervous. ‘But I still need to ask her myself…’ he thought, desperately trying to come up with some sort of logical solution. He completely forgot about everything he had thought about for the last ten minutes and turned his main focus to Iris.
‘What am I supposed to say in this situation…?!’
“Edgeworth, why are you sweating?” Indeed, a cold sweat was running down Edgeworth’s forehead; add that to his shocked facial expression and his trembling hands and you know something’s up.
“Oh! Sorry about that.” Edgeworth said quite quickly, almost as if he was trying to rush the conversation between them so that he could end it. Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth to say the worst possible thing to him right now: “Sure! Go ahead! I bet she wants you to come with her, anyway.”
He had said it. It felt to Edgeworth as if he had just been stabbed by an extremely sharp knife that pierced his heart, leaving a hole and showing no mercy.
“Well, thanks, Edgey! I’ll do it soon, I promise.” In a flash, Phoenix was skipping to class, Larry’s bag around his shoulder while Edgeworth sat, head in hands.
‘Why did I do that?’ he tried to ask himself, but he was too shocked to figure out an answer. All he knew was that he didn’t have a chance at all now, thanks to what he had said.
Suddenly a voice rang out inside Edgeworth’s head. He didn’t know what caused it or why, but it didn’t really matter at the present time.
“Because you’re his friend.”
*
“Right, class. To recap, who was the Pope at the time of the Crusades?”
Edgeworth stuck his hand up, then immediately looked around the classroom. No-one else was answering, or even attempting to.
“Pope Urban II, sir.”
“Correct, Miles. Did everyone hear that?”
A fairly distinguishable nod came from every pupil in the class. It was the lesson before lunch, and the summer heat and overall hard work from the morning’s events had tired them out almost completely.
Looking down at his computer, the teacher’s calm expression turned, unexpectedly, to one of shock and his face turned pale.
“Alright.” he sighed, getting up from his desk and hastily shuffling papers. “I have to go to a brief meeting. I would like you to continue your work from the textbook- in silence, please.” he added, glancing over at two snickering boys at the back, each clad in scruffy clothes and laughing so hard they were almost keeling over.
“Yes, sir…” the class trailed off in the usual, dull answering voice; but in two minds, thoughts were buzzing.
‘Now’s my chance..’
With a slam, the classroom door shut closed and almost everyone started gossiping. It appeared (after some discussion and a sneaky glance at the computer) that the poor teacher was late, albeit prepared, for his meeting.
Phoenix could barely contain his nervousness. How on earth was he supposed to ask a girl he liked to prom in a letter? Looking around frantically, he caught Larry’s eyes and Larry beamed at him.
“Go for it.” he mouthed, suddenly remembering something and holding up his school bag. “Oh, and thanks for picking up my stuff earlier.”
“No problem, Larry.”
Phoenix smiled. As clumsy as Larry was he always stood by his friends, and it was one of his few yet positive traits. Phoenix considered himself extremely lucky to have met him that day.

“Listen, proof or not, he did it! We’re sure of it! He stole the money!”
“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah-”
“Hold up a minute, guys! He said he didn’t do it…so he didn’t do it! Just lay off him, ‘kay?”

Turning to his desk, Phoenix brought out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write:

'Dear Iris,
Will you go to prom with me?’

‘No, that won’t work.’ he thought. ‘Too short.’ Crumpling the piece of paper, he put it back in his bag and retrieved a new one; if anyone saw it in the bin he’d be dead meat. He put his pen to the new paper he’d got out and, trying desperately to suppress his hands from shaking, wrote his letter for the second time.

‘Dear Iris,

I have something to ask you.
Will you go to the prom with me?’

Phoenix nodded in Larry’s direction and handed the note over to him. Larry looked upset when first seeing the letter and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, but turned to Phoenix quickly after.
“It’s great! But can I suggest something?”
“Sure, Larry.”
“Well, why don’t you arrange for the both of you to meet up somewhere? Then you can ask her in person.”
Phoenix was amazed; it was a great idea, coming from Larry no less.
“Thanks, Larry!” he exclaimed, before quickly holding his tongue and falling silent. He was just about to tell Larry he’d do that when he remembered earlier; he didn’t want to relive that moment, especially if he was the one being hugged.
Without warning, a thought popped into his head. The balcony. Only people who had important things to discuss went there.

‘Dear Iris,

I have something to ask you.
Could you meet me at the balcony around 6 on Friday?
It would be great if you could come.

~ Phoenix’

As soon as he finished signing his name, the bell rung, signalling the end of the lesson. Phoenix felt pleased, if anything, when he walked out the classroom; however, an embrace from Larry dampened his spirits a little.
“So? Did you write it? How’d it go?”
Laughing, Phoenix turned to Larry and grinned as they walked outside.
“It was horrible.”
“Wait, WHAT?! Why? What happened? I mean-”
“I’m just joking! It went fine.”

*
Walking home was a lonely business nowadays; both Larry and Phoenix lived on different estates and- Edgeworth was sure of this- felt a bit awkward when visiting because Manfred von Karma, Edgeworth’s mentor and adoptive father, owned a house that was nearly double the size of their own.
Though today, it was different. Edgeworth almost felt like skipping but immediately felt foolish at the mere thought of it- surely he had been taught better?- and, instead, hummed the Steel Samurai theme song and grinned; something not many people had seen.
“Wow…’ Edgeworth muttered to himself walking home in almost a daze. ‘It’s pretty sunny today. It seems cliché to ask this but seriously…. what could go wrong now…?”
“Speak of the devil, Miles Edgeworth!” exclaimed a harsh voice from behind. Before Edgeworth could even think of turning around an all-too-familiar leather object lashed out at his back.
“OW! Franziska, don’t scare me like that!”
Franziska chuckled and readied her crop for another blow to her sibling.
“There’s a German word that describes my feelings right now: it’s called shadenfreude, Miles Edgeworth. Schadenfreude…”
“Says the girl whose love life is seriously messed up at the moment.” he retorted. “If anyone should be feeling shadenfreude it’s me.”
Franziska gasped and clenched her fists, but surprisingly didn’t hit him with her crop. In fact, she looked like she was pondering something for a second, then went back to her frustrated look as usual.
“..Touché, Miles Edgeworth. But, on the subject of romance…how’s it going with your crush?”
Edgeworth gasped in mock horror and pretended to faint.
“I don’t believe it! The perfect, ever-angry Miss von Karma is being friendly to me? How does she do that-”
“Miles Edgeworth,” Franziska shouted, “I have asked you a question. Now answer it!”
A blow from Franziska confirmed that Edgeworth would answer her. As young as she was, it seemed she would always reign supreme over Edgeworth- with or without the weapon.
“Alright, alright!” he groaned, seeing her icy glare. “It’s fine. I’m going to….”
“Yes?”
“Umm…”
Yes?”
“I might ask her to the prom. MIGHT ask her.” he added, noticing the look of shock on Franziska’s face. Both falling silent, they walked slowly for most of the way home. Edgeworth noticed something halfway through his walk and just couldn’t get it out of his head.
‘Franziska’s….been staring at my pocket since I stopped talking…’
“Miles Edgeworth!” she suddenly exclaimed.
“AH! Don’t frighten me like that! Please! I beg of you!”
“What on earth is that piece of paper sticking out of your coat pocket?” and before Edgeworth could stop her, Franziska grabbed it and read it thoroughly.

‘Dear Iris,

Could you meet me in the courtyard on Friday sometime around 6?
I need to discuss something with you, and it would be great if we could meet up then.
Thank you and I hope you are well.

~ Miles’

Please don't hate meeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Last edited by PhoenixFlame53 on Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:50 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: A Day To RememberTopic%20Title
User avatar

An avid attorney.

Gender: Male

Location: In court

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:22 am

Posts: 42

I was just getting ready to ask you when you were going to write your own fanfic when, voila! Here it is! I noticed in all of your replies to my fanfic that you have a very structured way of writing, and I figured you might be fit for the part.

*Reads*

I love it! :edgy: You have a gripping story with a solid plot setting the foundation, and I love the way you use descriptive language "the bench felt like you could fry an egg on it". I felt as though I could actually feel the bench.

Very well, carry on writing, I am not only impressed but also intrigued to read the rest of your story! :phoenix:
Check out my PW Fan Song :)
The Final Turnabout

Check out my PW Fanfic :)
Turnabout Rebirth
Re: A Day To RememberTopic%20Title
User avatar

Foolish foolhardy fools...

Gender: Female

Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Thu May 09, 2013 4:42 pm

Posts: 86

WrightBrother wrote:
I was just getting ready to ask you when you were going to write your own fanfic when, voila! Here it is! I noticed in all of your replies to my fanfic that you have a very structured way of writing, and I figured you might be fit for the part.

*Reads*

I love it! :edgy: You have a gripping story with a solid plot setting the foundation, and I love the way you use descriptive language "the bench felt like you could fry an egg on it". I felt as though I could actually feel the bench.

Very well, carry on writing, I am not only impressed but also intrigued to read the rest of your story! :phoenix:


Thank you so much! :edgy:
I'll write the second chapter and hopefully put it up soon. :pearl:
In the meantime, I'll make sure I carry on reading yours! :b33r:
Please don't hate meeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Re: A Day To RememberTopic%20Title

Ace Sidekick!

Gender: Female

Location: Kurain Village

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 1:00 am

Posts: 2426

*puts on reading glasses* Hello Miss PhoenixFlame53, as a return for the kindness I shall read and review your fanfic. (Omigosh! Emiko Gale decided to read a Phoenix/Iris fanfic!!!)

I like this so far, and I can't wait to read more. It seems like an alternate universe of my fanfiction "Talk is Cheap" but I don't mind. I loved the relationships between the characters, and I could really feel the summer heat on me from reading this, like WrightBrother said.

Iris seems a bit out of character but I critisized her in the past for being a bit bland in T&T so I'll give you props for giving her character, and since this is AU then she would be different than a temple nun. Larry was cute and adorable and I have to say that Edgeworth and Franziska's child relationship was amusing as well.

The only thing that bugged me was the love at first sight thing that happened between Phoenix and Iris...It is cliche and not my cup of tea. But whatever floats your boat.
Re: A Day To RememberTopic%20Title
User avatar

Foolish foolhardy fools...

Gender: Female

Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Thu May 09, 2013 4:42 pm

Posts: 86

Emiko Gale wrote:
*puts on reading glasses* Hello Miss PhoenixFlame53, as a return for the kindness I shall read and review your fanfic. (Omigosh! Emiko Gale decided to read a Phoenix/Iris fanfic!!!)

I like this so far, and I can't wait to read more. It seems like an alternate universe of my fanfiction "Talk is Cheap" but I don't mind. I loved the relationships between the characters, and I could really feel the summer heat on me from reading this, like WrightBrother said.

Iris seems a bit out of character but I critisized her in the past for being a bit bland in T&T so I'll give you props for giving her character, and since this is AU then she would be different than a temple nun. Larry was cute and adorable and I have to say that Edgeworth and Franziska's child relationship was amusing as well.

The only thing that bugged me was the love at first sight thing that happened between Phoenix and Iris...It is cliche and not my cup of tea. But whatever floats your boat.


Thank you! :edgy:
Sorry about the cliche-ness, I just thought it would make a good plot that all three boys fell in love with the same girl. :pearl:
But anyway, I'll continue to write this and post the second chapter up as soon as possible! :phoenix: :maya: :phoenix:
Please don't hate meeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Re: A Day To RememberTopic%20Title
User avatar

Foolish foolhardy fools...

Gender: Female

Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Thu May 09, 2013 4:42 pm

Posts: 86

I got round to Chapter 2! :edgy:
It's on the original post. :phoenix:
Please don't hate meeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Re: A Day To RememberTopic%20Title

Ace Sidekick!

Gender: Female

Location: Kurain Village

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 1:00 am

Posts: 2426

Kyaaa!!! Miles!!! <3 >.<

*ahem* Excuse me.

Anyways, this chapter was very cute and I giggled at a few moments. And it's nice to see that even though this is romance the relationships between the other characters are being fleshed out.

Hmmmm, I wonder why Dahlia is being, "overprotective" around her sister. :/
Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  

 Board index » Present Evidence » Present Testimony

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Jump to:  
News News Site map Site map SitemapIndex SitemapIndex RSS Feed RSS Feed Channel list Channel list
Powered by phpBB

phpBB SEO