Court Records

sumguy writes some stuff.
Page 1 of 1

Author:  sumguy28 [ Fri Dec 01, 2017 2:53 am ]
Post subject:  sumguy writes some stuff.

If you'll excuse the terrible wordplay, yes, I decided to write Ace Attorney fan fiction. Yes, it has been several years since I joined the fandom and only recently did I decide I wanted to write something. Actually, I decided that last year and kept putting off working on this fic ever since. And if you want to go further, I've had this idea ever since I played the game almost six years ago and never bothered to act on it until recently.

Anyways, here's the details.

Title: Powerless
Rating : K+
Genre : Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 1652
Summary: "Life doesn't end with the closing of a case. Everyone has to live the rest of their lives with their memories." A look into Ema Skye during the days following SL-9.

Doubt I'm going to write anything more, but eh, we'll see.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: sumguy writes some stuff.

I enjoyed it! It wasn't a first bad attempt. Don't kick yourself for the ending scene, it was pretty good.

And I like how you made Grossberg the DA for Joe Darke.

Author:  sumguy28 [ Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: sumguy writes some stuff.

The main problem I had with the ending scene was that I didn't think the dialogue felt natural. I remember that while writing it, I kept thinking, "Who talks like this?" It's not as bad as it could have been, but I think it could've been better.
Anyways, thanks for reading!

EDIT: Eh, screw it.

Everything Wrong With
In One Forum Post Edit or Less

1. You will quickly notice that the whole reason for the utilization of second person POV was to hide the fact that I don't know how to properly use descriptive language.
2. Also, second person POV.
3. Does psychotherapy not exist in this world? Is Lana really going to leave her sister to deal with her trauma by letting her sit in her room and mope, possibly letting the brain's natural fondness for self blame take over?
4. A court summons is a court summons. You can't say it's only a half.
5. Nothing in the game actually says that Ema was called to the witness stand after being questioned by Goodman. I just kinda went with that idea because the flashback shows her standing in a courtroom, which was probably only done so no one would have to draw the questioning room.
6. There's also no establishment of where the defendant's chair is located in the main series. AAI says it's right in front of the judge's bench, though you never actually see a defendant sit there.
7. This takes place in 2015. What teenager still gets their news from television?
8. For that matter, why is she looking at news at all? Usually after a traumatic event, those involved tend to stay away from any reminders of the event, including news reports. Ghost Trick got that one right.
9. The setup for the last scene is a ripoff from another fic that I would post a link to and tell you to read instead, but it's been taken down.
10. "Demon Prosecutor Edgeworth tries to comfort young girl because he's reminded of DL-6" cliche.
11. "Powerless." Roll credits.
12. Everyone just kinda forgot that Pess existed. Was he completely silent while those two shared a moment?
13. I regret including that last line.

Total sins: 13
Sentence: Shipped off to Europe to live with an unnamed character.

Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group