True love is forever.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am
Look at all the reviews. You guys have made me feel so loved. <3<3
General Luigi wrote:
This chapter came off to me as having a much more lighthearted tone than the previous chapters, which makes sense, given the setting--just a casual outing. I'm guessing you've tied Beginnings into your oneshots about Phoenix and Iris. Understandable. All of my fan fictions are connected to others regarding the series they're from. Looking deeper, you did a good job at keeping Vera in character. I imagine someone like her would be quite fascinated by everything she saw after getting past her xenophobia.
And I got a laugh out of Trucy's eagerness to get to the magic shop. It reminds me of Ema's enthusiasm with science when she was that age. Very cute.
Thank you! The tone was intended to be lighter in this chapter as I wanted to transition from Vera's traumatic past to the development of her feelings for Apollo (and as you point out, it's just a fun day out for the girls. :P ). She's learning to stand on her own without Apollo's aide and her feelings are changing from a dependence on him for strength to ever growing feelings of affection which will become love in time (which is starting to happen by this point).
And, like you, I try never to contradict myself when I write. Although it's definitely not necessary to have read all my fics to understand the others, those events I've written about in my fics have all happened in my mind and my stories take that into consideration. I do mess up from time to time, but I try to be careful. Trucy's fun to write. I'm pleased that you enjoyed her antics. :) Thank you again for the kind words.
Working with Pearl? Didn't she only meet Pearl at the end of the last chapter? That doesn't make sense to me.
This is actually two weeks after the last chapter, so she has had more time to get to know Pearl, but I see why you reached that conclusion. It wasn't phrased clearly enough, so I tried to fix it. Thanks!
All righty, enough of that.
I understand that Pearl is older now, right...? You never explained how she looks. I really doubt she has that same hair style. It seems a bit kiddish, and I couldn't really picture her right. Some description would have been nice.
I've noticed that you're adding some Phoenix/Iris in there... and quite frankly, I'm not surprised. XD But I'll say I'm glad you're not adding them in for the hell of it. It actually is pretty useful in this chapter.
Characterization is spot-on, as always. *needs to find something new to say*
Only a few more chapters of the story, huh? Well, I can't wait to see what you have in store for this couple, then. :3 Hope this review helped.
I always forget that my readers aren't in my head and therefore can't see how I'm picturing things. I need to work on that a lot. Some more description was added to Chapter 3 where a description didn't seem quite so awkward. Long story short, she has shoulder length hair which she now wears down (She mentions at one point in 2-2 that she wants to grow her hair out like Maya, but that was a child's desire to mimic the cousin she loves so I split the idea. She has longer hair then before, but not like Maya's).
And yeah, the Phoenix/Iris pairing does seem to work itself into everything I write. :P I enjoyed that part, but as you mention I did it because I felt it was necessary to the chapter. I was trying to think about how Vera would best understand a concept like love and I decided that she would learn best through example, so I decided to give her one. It's true that technically any couple could have worked for that part, but I really love that particular pairing for Phoenix and I wanted to keep this story consistent with my oneshots, so that's how that part came about. :P I'm really happy that you think it worked okay.
There will likely only be a couple more chapters unless something changes. I rarely write longer stories and, as much fun as I'm having with this fic, I'm tiring quickly.
Writer's block sucks.
I want to make sure this story gets some kind of conclusion.
Now ask me how I plan to finish the story. :P I have no idea, but I'm working on it.
Thanks so much for the great review. It's appreciated.
You know how cute it is how Vera uses the term "special someone"?
All innocent-like! Ohhh, youth. Like the scent of fresh lemons! LOL!
But I wonder about Pearl addressing Feenie as "Nick" now. I don't know.....I mean, this is just how I think but, somehow "Mr. Nick" seems to still stick itself in my mind even if Pearl's 16 now. Well that's just my opinion. =/ Nothing special.
Vera's too adorable. I'm so happy that you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for the wonderful review. As for "Nick" vs. "Mr. Nick," Mr. or Ms. *insert first name* has always been something that I've seen younger children do when they are trying to be formal hence why Pearl used it when she first met him. Still, I've never seen someone over the age of ten address someone like that. That doesn't mean it can't happen, but it's not something I've ever seen or can truly picture. By ten or older, people tend to be addressed by their last name when being formal and first name when being informal. After seven years, I can't see Pearl getting more formal and Maya uses Nick so in my mind Pearl adopts "Nick". Of course, you're free to disagree. That is simply my reasoning. Thanks again for the kind words. :)
Ace Attorney Rimmer wrote:
I really liked reading your new chapter Mia, I think the others have spoken on what I would of said, looking forward to the final chapters of this story :).
Thank you so much! That makes me very happy to hear. :)
Just read chapter4! It was really good, it's great how slowly throughout the chapters Vera's feelings have gotten stronger rather than her suddenly realising out of the blue.
Can't wait till the next chapter...or the last? It's really great!
Thank you so much! Your kindness is very encouraging. :)