Title: To Act on an Impulse
Pairing: Nick/Maya
Genre: Drama/Romance (I think...)

This takes place RIGHT after T&T, so there'll be huge spoilers! There's the warning...

This is my first EVER fanfic, so go easy on me if I'm doing it wrong But I'll take constructive criticism!

Chapter One

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"Even if we were able to reach the cavern, the chances of her survival would be slim at best."

No...

"You finally understand, don't you? You've sentenced Maya Fey to her death!"

The word 'death' echoed ominously through the small room. Phoenix's vision started fading, and the walls closed in around him. He clasped his hands over his ears, but the words still rang piercingly in his head. No... No... NO!

"Maya!" Phoenix sat upright, cold beads of sweat on his forehead. He realized that he had just been dreaming, that Maya was safe and sound in the other room. Still, just to be sure... He got up and walked quietly into the main office.

There was Maya, asleep on the couch. A blanket was covering her legs, bunching up at her waist. Phoenix walked over to her, and gently pulled the blanket toward her face. Poor Maya. She lost her mother, and nearly lost her own life, trapped and alone in that freezing place. Yet here she is, sleeping like a baby. He draped the blanket over her shoulder and started heading back to the other room. Meanwhile, here I am... I couldn't even imagine what Maya has been through... He glanced back at Maya. ...And I'm falling apart. I've got to be strong... for her sake.

Phoenix went back to the room he had been sleeping in. He was surprised to find someone sitting in the recliner he had been sleeping in. "Pearls?"

"M-Mr. Nick," stammered Pearl. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying; apparently, she'd had trouble sleeping too. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"E-everything!" confessed Pearl. "It's my fault this all happened. I couldn't channel that spirit, I couldn't help Mystic Maya- I couldn't even help you! It's all my fault!" Pearl started crying again.

"Aw, Pearls," said Phoenix, who went to the chair and hugged her. "You did everything right. If you had channeled Dahlia, you'd have-"

"But Mystic Misty died because of me!"

"Yes, but I think Maya's glad to have you, Pearls. I know I am." I could've lost Pearls, too... I nearly lost them both. I nearly lost... my family. Phoenix felt tears spring into his eyes. He quickly wiped them away, but not before Pearl had seen them.

"Mr. Nick..."

"We should try to get some sleep, Pearls. It's... it's way past your bedtime. Mine too."

Pearl nodded wordlessly. She crawled into her sleeping bag, and Phoenix slumped exhaustedly into the recliner. They both fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

~*~

So, what think? *sweats*

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Last edited by root_beer_junkie on Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bravo bravo can't wait for the next chapter!

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wow another story!! im so exited for another chapter^^

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Wow, thanks, guys! Someone actually posted! I'm in the middle of Chapter Two, it should be up... tomorrow-ish?

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Yay!!!

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Wow it's soooo good! AND loads of people have commented already!

Can't wait till the next chapter!

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I really like the first chapter! It really sets the mood. Please continue ASAP!

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Nice start Rootbeer. Good internal Dialog. It'll be interesting to see what you do with this, since you didn't set up a "plot" to follow per sae. But I'm sure it'll be good

If I could offer you any advice at the moment, it would be try and put a little more into each chapter (Size wise) Sometimes this means having more happen, other times it means you give a bit more info on the character's movements, thoughts, ectera.

422 words is a little on the light side, but not too bad. Just try and bump it up a little bit. I like it so far, so keep up the good work ^_^

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Nice start, RBJ.

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