Aw the Beatles were so innocent!
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:42 am
Title: A Perfect Lesson
Author: Daniel Erman AKA GamerErman2001
Rating: PG-13 due to language.
Genre: Comedy, slice of life.
Summary: Sometimes you have to teach others to be perfect. This is Franny's attempt at this.
A Perfect Lesson
"Maya... I really didn't understand what happened in that episode." Phoenix said, confused by the new episode of The Steel Samurai that he and Maya had just watched.
"It's really simple, Nick!" Maya said, seeming more like a nerd every second "You see, the Golden Samurai had to go back in time to stop The Steel Samurai from going back in time which would also stop The Steel Samurai going into the future and thus he wouldn't be able to accidentally kill Moses! Unfortunately, doing this caused The Golden Samurai to run into an acid that would melt him. So then The Steel Samurai goes back in time to save the Golden Samurai, which thus causes his daughter and wife to live, which brings about democracy in China!"
Pearl jumped straight on to Maya's lap, which actually hurt quite a bit. "NICK! Ema's being mean! She won't let me play with her white powder!" Pearl cried.
"White.... POWDER?! Does Ema have cocaine?" Maya asked, quite excitedly.
"No... it's luminol." Phoenix responded.
"Dammit! I wanted to get high!" Maya said.
Ema ran in, breathing very heavily like those creepy stalkers do on the phone. "I..... WANT..... THAT..... KID..... OUT..... OF..... MY...... STUFF!" Ema screamed. "Scientifically speaking of course!"
"I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!" Pearl screeched. "I'M TEN YEARS OLD!" She started punching Ema.
"Oh, I'll put up a scientific fight!" Ema said, putting up her fists.
"WHOA WHOA! Calm down now." Phoenix said, trying to pull the two away from each other. Then the doorbell rang. Maya went towards the door and opened it... it was Franziska Von Karma and Miles Edgeworth.
"Hello perfect people!" Maya said quite politely.
"Hello fools! Me and Miles Edgeworth have decided that we should share the Von Karma perfection! We were both taught by Manfred Von Karma, the most perfect man to ever live, and we have decided to teach a little perfection to you." Franziska said in a dignified tone.
"Normally, I'd refuse..." Maya said, as she looked back to see that Pearl and Ema were beating up Phoenix. "But I'd say we definitely do need it."
"Ah, Maya! I've heard that you have been studying chann-" Edgeworth started.
"Shut up, you fool! I would whip if it weren't for that one foolish judge who took away my perfect whip." Franziska mocked.
"OK dear..." Edgeworth said.
"NOW COME ALONG FOOLISH CLASS! Time to learn how to be closer to perfection!" Franziska said as she dragged Miles Edgeworth in by his cravat. "You WILL sit down and be orderly."
"Scientifically, why should we?" Ema challenged.
"So that Edgeworth doesn't turn Emo." Franziska said.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME-" Edgeworth started whining.
"Quiet! Remember what I promised you if you kept quiet?" Franziska mocked.
"Yes." Edgeworth said, crying.
"Well, you just lost it!" Franziska said. "NOW ON THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS! You must treat people perfectly! How you do that is you make witty comments using a insulting word that you have a fetish for! I like the word 'fool'. You can use whatever you want! Now Pearl, insult Phoenix!"
"You bastardly bastard who bastardizes everything so that it is only suitable for bastards!" Pearl said.
"HEY THIS IS MEAN!" Phoenix said.
"Now, Ema! You insult Phoenix!" Franziska said, very happy with Pearl's choice of words.
"You unscientific man who unscientifically makes things unscientific!" Ema said, feeling quite prideful.
"Great! Now, Maya, insult Phoenix!" Laughing at Ema's wittiness.
"You un-samurai man who in a way that is not like a samurai makes stuff so that it is not suitable for a samurai." Maya said in quite a low voice.
"Now Mr. Wright... insult Edgeworth!" Franziska commanded.
"You gay man who gayly makes thing gay and unsuitable for straight people!" Phoenix remarked.
"Very good, you fools! Now the next step to being perfect, have a perfect attack! My father had a tazer, I had a whip, and Edgeworth has perfect angsting!" Franziska explained.
"YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY-" Edgeworth started.
"Oh, shut up you fool! Now, Ema... attack Phoenix!" Fraziska commanded. Ema got out a scalpel and gave Phoenix a cut on his arm.
"Ow, watch it!" Phoenix exclaimed.
"That was fun! Scientifically speaking, of course!" Ema said in a cheerful tone.
"Very good! Now Pearl, attack Phoenix!" Franziska ordered. Pearl ran up to Phoenix and punched him. "Now Maya!" Franziska said "You attack Phoenix!"
Maya used some sort of strange spell on Phoenix which cause him to throw up. "Maya! That's nasty!"
"Perfect! Now Phoenix, attack Edgeworth." Franziska said.
Phoenix hit his head against Edgeworth. "ACK! YOUR HAIR IS TOO SPIKY! I'M BLEEDING!" Edgeworth screamed.
"Congratulations! That's all there is!" Franziska said.
"We're perfect and no longer fools now?" Maya asked.
"Yes. Just keep on attacking with the same trademark style and using insults with the same word over and over and you're perfect! Now, it seems Edgeworth needs to be regained to perfect health! I shall perfectly drive him to a perfect hospital so that a perfect doctor may operate on him!" Franziska said, as she dragged Edgeworth out of the apartment. Pearl, Maya, Ema, and Phoenix sat down peacefully for a little while.
"BASTARDLY SCIENTIST!" Pearl screamed at Ema.
"Unscientific channeler!" Ema yelled back. Pearl then started punching Ema.
"Well, now they fight perfectly!" Phoenix laughed.
"They are very un-samurai." Maya said, laughing.