Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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Great sprite comic! Please, go on! :D
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Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
1000% Knight
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Greeny wrote:
Anyways, on with the constructive criticism. It's quite good so far, but you might want to pay attention to a few things. For example, Mia seems to have read Cecilia's thoughts there. You also might want to move on with the actual plot - I'm not one to speak, but I sometimes get the comment from my readers that a lot of my pages are pretty much unneccessary filler, so I thought I'd warn you. Just in case Bad Player passes by.
Hey! Either say that you get a comment from "a certain reader", or put someone else's name up there too! And even if this chapter didn't advance the plot, it did introduce 2 new characters...
Also, there are a few places in the game where you think something and your council responds to it. Think of it as having the attorney mutter it under their breath.
Anyway, since you haven't gotten into too much plot, there isn't much too much to talk about, but 3 technical things I didn't like about this chapter: (In order of decreasing validity)
1. Near introduced himself as the husband of Franziska von Karma's sister. I know that's how you would describe him to fans... but in reality, wouldn't he just say "married to Sophia von Karma"?
2. Mia called Cecilia by her name twice in a row in panel 12. Nothing really wrong with that, but it just sounded kind of... off.
3. YOU
But besides that it's great
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
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Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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The Sandwich - lol, thank you ^-^
Blinq - I thought a cravat would be a lot ncer than a normal tie ^-~ Glad you like them ^-^
Greeny -
Thanks for the critisism, it really helps, I'll start making things move faster ^-~
I thought that when it's blue text in brackets it would be thoughts but just blue text means say quietly to self, sorry if I'm wrong or for any confusion ^-^;
Sphinx -
As explained ^ Unfortunately I didn't mean Mia to be a mind reader
Thank you ^-^
DeMatador -
Thankies, that was what it was suppose to mean ^-~ Thanks again ^_^
BadPlayer -
Thanks, constructive critisism always welcomes ^-~
I will start making things go a bit faster.
1. Ah, I see what you mean. It does seem a bit un-natural, but there's a reason, I would tell you but well
it would spoil that case2. Ah, ok. I'll make her stop making her say Cecilia so much ^-^ Thanks.
3. He will be back just that he's connected to Cecilia's next case (no he's not the victim
)But thanks ^-^ It really helped
----------
Thank you everyone for the comments I really appreciate all of them. I will hopefully get the next one up soon ^-~
Thanks Christie so much for Pearl which I adopted from her :3 Yay Christie
Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
Still Searching For Lux-Pain...
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Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
good times...good times
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Bad Player wrote:
YOU KILLED OFF FIRED GUMSHOE!!!! Now how will he afford his ramen and construction paper?!?!
who will we make poor jokes to now D:
who will we give salary cuts to to make said poor jokes even funnier D:
and WHO will show sad kids a real pistol I tell you...WHO!!!
Click picture To enter thred :P
Re: UPDATE 9th APRIL - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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Happy easter ^-~
I decided to make a easter special...
I posted it on the first page - please tell me what you think! ^-~
Thankies.x
Thanks Christie so much for Pearl which I adopted from her :3 Yay Christie
Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
So much space. Gotta see it all.
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Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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I always love the little "lol" comics that people make in addition to the main one. Good job on that one, PA!
Love the story two, btw!!!
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Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
Still Searching For Lux-Pain...
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Happy Easter!!
Supports /
Jesus:Lord and Savior!
Avatar Awesomely done by Purple Angel,a friend I will miss.
Son of CCCM and Arkillian,brother to Perrydotto,Dekuran,and Lida_Rose.Join the NEW CR FAMILY TREE!
Engaged to Minter.
Father of Nadindi and GDM
/ Jesus:Lord and Savior!
Avatar Awesomely done by Purple Angel,a friend I will miss.
Son of CCCM and Arkillian,brother to Perrydotto,Dekuran,and Lida_Rose.Join the NEW CR FAMILY TREE!
Engaged to Minter.
Father of Nadindi and GDM
Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
Affection!
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Very clever. ;O
Still the same old...me.
I Am The Night, Colour Me Black.
Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
Ooh, a real drumroll. Nice.
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...And of course to see what happens (
that was close!)
Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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Greeny wrote:
Haha, that was an unexpected twist.
Thankies.x
Glad it was unexpected, yay plot twists ^-^
Apollo72 wrote:
Lol, Mia must be evil or something.
Thanks ^-^
lol, don't mess with Mia O_o
GDM wrote:
^^ or Celia just misread the note.
I always love the little "lol" comics that people make in addition to the main one. Good job on that one, PA!
Love the story two, btw!!!
I always love the little "lol" comics that people make in addition to the main one. Good job on that one, PA!
Love the story two, btw!!!
Thank you
I thought it might be nice since it's easter and all and after all those easter eggs I'm in a happy mood for the next few days ^-^
Thank you again ^-^
Cinder::Justice wrote:
Like the bunny hat^^
Happy Easter!!
Happy Easter!!
Thank you, took forever to try and get the hat to look right ^-^;
Happy easter to you too ^-~
Sphinx wrote:
I kinda chuckled upon viewing the easter special.
Very clever. ;O
Very clever. ;O
Thank you so much ^-^
Really happy you like it, means a lot that people like it and comment
Hahex wrote:
I read this comic just to see the sprites.
...And of course to see what happens ( that was close!)
...And of course to see what happens (
that was close!)Haha ^-^
I'll post the sprites on my sprite page eventually, I guess I do tend to put them in the comic first.. dunno why though ^^:
Glad you read my comic, it means a lot ^-~
-------
Thank so much for all the comments all of you, I love all comments ^-~
And to those who don't comment, thanks for reading ^-^
By the way everyone the next page is going to be 4 times longer than usual so I hope you like it when it comes out ^-~
Thanks Christie so much for Pearl which I adopted from her :3 Yay Christie
Re: Easter Special!!! - The World Ends with your Attorney...
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