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Malachi Marriott Witless AttorneyTopic%20Title

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:04 am

Posts: 13

This is a webcomic that I started some years ago as a small mini series. (I write retellings of popular series, such as pokemon, phoenix wright, super mario bros, etc with my own OCs and in many cases, it only uses the overall universe as a framing device with absolutely no similarities past that)

Quite a few of the minis are from injokes with my fiancée and about the relationships between our OCs and all of their grand original adventures.

But some years ago, I played Phoenix Wright for the first time, and it inspired me to make Malachi Marriott Witless Attorney as a mini series, and later on, I was thinking... Why not actually make it as a webcomic?

The webcomic went through alot of changes over the time, due to my limited spriting ability and inability to find suitable bases for many of the characters, as well as the vast majority of the cases I wrote were.... incompatable because many of the locations did not physically exist in the PW universe and would require extensive work to get the locations and everything else made.

This is the original first page I made for it back in mid 2011, note, it does have some mild language.
Spoiler:
Image


Initially, I was just going to redo the original webcomic with some revised graphics and script, but after redoing 3 pages, I decided to redo the entire script to make things actually possible with my available assets and change some events from the original cases.

The revised first page.
Spoiler:
Image


And this is the V2 webcomic's first page, although I do have to redo minor aspects because I was given the green light from E.D Revolution to use his Lana sprites.
Spoiler:
Image


I'm still writing the script for the first case, but I'm 10 pages in, and we're only about halfway done with the first case. :godot:

Also, there is a sprite I WANT to use, but I CANNOT find who made it, it perfectly fits one of my OC's personality and appearance, but I can't green light it, which is tearing me up inside! :viola:

Edit: This is the sprite I was talking about, it was in the 2008 OC contest, it didn't mention who made it, and I was looking all over the forums to try to find who made it to no avail.
Spoiler:
Image



Also, to help tide people over, here's the script for the webcomic at the moment in time, I often go back and change parts of it when I actually turn it into pages, which takes on average 1 to 2 hours.

Page 2
Spoiler:
-Page 2-
Judge: Court is now in session. Is the defence ready?

Malachi: …Uhhh… About that…

Judge: Why! Where's your lady friend? You look awfully lonely over there!

Malachi: …You didn't have to word it like that…

Malachi: (composes himself) I'm leading the defence today.

Judge: This is your first solo case, isn't it? In light of your… tremendously bad history, I'm going to ask you a few questions.

Malachi's Mind: Alright… Time to shine! I'll show everyone who was mean to me in high school!

Judge: First, who is the defendant?

Malachi: (smug) That one's easy, it's… Mohammed Li?

Judge: Who is Mohammed Li?

Malachi: …The most common first name combined with the most common surname… I thought I'd have a statistical probability…?

Judge: (Shakes head) That's incorrect, the correct answer was Al.

Malachi: …Al? No surname? Just one name? That's…

Malachi: (angry) THAT'S HARDLY A NAME AT ALL! TWO LETTERS IS NOT A NAME!

Judge: The name is likely a shortened version of his full name, which is possibly Aladdin, Alan, Alfonse…

Malachi: (annoyed) Only when I'm full metal is his name Alfonse!

Judge: Next question, who is the victim?

Malachi: It's…

HOLD IT!

Judge: And it's certainly NOT Mohammad Li.

Malachi: Alright.. wait, what did Crystal tell me before…?


Page 3
Spoiler:
(Flashback)
(Crystal is in the office)
Crystal: If you're ever unsure, you can check the court record, it has the profiles of all the people involved in the case and any evidence submitted, it's your best friend in court!

(Cut back to Malachi)
Malachi: Aha.. I see. I'll just check my court record and… Where is it?

Let's see, I have my Lederhosen, a spoilt egg and… aha! Here's the profiles!

(Malachi examines the profiles)

Judge: Are you ready to answer?

Malachi: I certainly am. (gets a piece of paper out) The victim is… Menelaos Quattrocchi. Nova, I hope I said it right…

Judge: (nods in approval) That's right, and most importantly, how was he killed?

Malachi: He was killed by a single blow to the back of the head with a blunt object.

Judge: My! You certainly seem capable! I'm surprised you crashed and burned so many times now!

Malachi's Mind: …You're really wounding my pride…

Judge: Is the other guy ready?

Payne: The prosecution is ready.

Judge: While some of this was covered, can you give the opening statement?

Payne: Certainly your honour. The defendant killed the victim Menelaos Quattrocchi using this statue in a swift blow to the head.

Judge: (nods) The court accepts this as evidence. It's pleasing to see such competence!

Malachi: ...That was a take on me, wasn't it...?

Payne: The prosecution moves for the first witness; a man who saw the defendant murder the poor, innocent victim!

(Al steps on the witness stand)

Payne: Could you please state your name and occupation for the court?

Al: The name's Al, and I'm a nun.

Payne: ...Excuse me, I think I misheard you. Did you say you were... a nun?


Page 4
Spoiler:
Al: That's correct, I inherited the job from my father you see, and whenever he was asked his job, he always said "Nun."

OBJECTION!

Malachi: I question the witness' accent! It's difficult to tell if he means 'none' or 'nun'!

Malachi: Or are you trying to throw us off the trail of your guilty acts!?

OBJECTION!

Payne: I would like to remind the defense that he is actually DEFENDING the defendant.

Malachi: ..Ugh. I withdraw my comment...

Malachi: ...He's still probably guilty.

Judge: Are you quite finished?

Malachi: He KNOWS he did it!

Malachi: You can see it in his greasy eyes!

Judge: Ignoring the witless attorney... Can you tell us about the murder in question?

-Witness Testimony-

Al: I was on the stage of the night in question, I was finishing packing up some of my supplies when I heard the door open.

Al: I was curious and looked, there I saw Menelaos Quattrocchi arguing with Amanda Huggenkiss.

Al: I couldn't hear everything they were saying, but they were clearly angry and I heard a loud cry of "You're a dead man!"

Al: Then she did it! She hit him on the forehead with a nearby statue!
-End-

Judge: Truly a sad state of affairs.

Payne: There. The defendant is clearly guilty of murder!

Malachi: (Looking at some pieces of paper) ...Something's not right here...

Judge: Mr Marriott, you may begin your cross examination!


Page 5
Spoiler:
Malachi: ...Cross... Examination...?

Payne: You're truly a rookie!

Malachi: ...What...was that? You got something to say to me?

Payne: You're clearly a rookie if you don't even know how to press a witness or object to inconsistencies in their statements!

Malachi: (glares) I'll show you. I'm going to cross examine the Hell out of the witness!

Al: ...W-what?

Malachi: PREPARE YOURSELF!

-Cross Examination-

Al: I was on the stage of the night in question, I was finishing packing up some of my supplies when I heard the door open.

Malachi: What exactly were you packing up?

Al: if you MUST know, I have a small bit predicting the weather, I was just packing my barometers up to go home.

Payne: There's nothing remotely suspect about that, let's move on, shall we?

Al: I was curious and looked, there I saw Menelaos Quattrocchi arguing with Amanda Huggenkiss.

Malachi: Are you SURE it was the victim and defendant?

Al: Yes, I clearly saw both of them standing on the stage.

Malachi: ...I'll accept this as the truth... For now.

Judge: Please refrain from badgering the witness.

Al: I couldn't hear everything they were saying, but they were clearly angry and I heard a loud cry of "You're a dead man!"

Malachi: Are you SURE you heard "You're a dead man"!?

Al: Yes! I am 100% sure I heard that! It was loud enough to shake the backdrops, alright!?

Payne: Please calm down and continue.


Page 6
Spoiler:
Al: Alright.

Al: Then she did it! She hit him on the forehead with a nearby statue!

OBJECTION!

Malachi: (smug) Are you completely sure about that?

Judge: I already told you to not badger-

HOLD IT!

Malachi: My liege,I assure you, I actually am going somewhere with this.

Judge: I'll allow this to continue.

Malachi: (smug) As I said... are you sure about that?

Al: ...Yeah... I'm sure of this. Why?

Malachi: Because you are either remembering it wrong, or you're lying.

Al: I... I am?

Malachi: (has a piece of paper out) It clearly says in the autopsy report that it was a single blow....

Malachi: (smug) ...To the BACK of the head!

Payne: W-what!? How could you be so confused over that Al!? We went over what you should say yesterday!

(The entire court goes silent)

Judge: ...What exactly did you say just now?

Payne: ...I... I wasn't leading the witness! I was just... just telling him to say only what's relevant to the trial!

Malachi: I may be a witless attorney not worthy of my badge... But you sicken even me.

Judge: Winston Payne! Is this true!?

Payne: ...No.... Nooo.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Judge: We'll have a 15 minute recess, Payne, I'll see you in my chambers.


Page 7
Spoiler:
-May 14th 2009-
-Courthouse No.4-
-Lobby-

Crystal: You were amazing in there!

Malachi: Heh, I was, wasn't I?

Crystal: …Don't let it go to your head. I KNOW you, and please, just try to be humble and control your emotions a bit more.

Malachi: …w-what? I thought you said you LIKED my performance?

Crystal: …If nothing else… You had two bursts of anger, which the judge could have seriously penalised us for, you also went in WITHOUT KNOWING THE CLIENT'S NAME.

Malachi: Well, you're normally the one in charge of things like that, and I have the court record… so…

Crystal: (red eyes) There's a reason you never won a single case. I thought letting you fly solo would force you to actually behave like an attorney, but it looks like I was wrong.

Malachi: …Urp. Well, um, just calm down and I can work on the case, I'll… I'll get the witness to expose any lies and… win the trial!

Crystal: (Crystal presented documents!) This is an emergency change of attorney form, I can hand these in and replace you at a moment's notice.

Malachi: …That seems a bit harsh.

(12) Crystal: "A bit harsh"? Because of your incompetence, the firm didn't win a single case in MONTHS. If we don't win this one, we'll be forced to the streets! Is that what you want!?

Malachi: (Strangely calm) I was going over the facts of the trial, and while I may not seem like the best person for the job, I assure you. I am going to win this trial.

Crystal: You were behaving… better… Alright. I'll leave it in your hands.

Malachi: Trust me babe, I'm going to do our firm proud, I'm a whole new attorney.

-Malachi moves to courthouse-

Crystal: …I want to believe in him, but… the entire firm is dependant on this…

-May 14th 2009-
-Courthouse No.4-

Judge: I spoke to Winston Payne and deemed his reasons acceptable, as such, the trial for Menelaos Quattrocchi continues.

Payne: …T-thank you your honour, it won't happen again…

Judge: We'll now continue the cross examination-


Page 8
Spoiler:
HOLD IT!

Malachi: My liege! I find it hard to believe Payne's reasons for leading the witness are valid! It throws the prosecution's entire argument into question!

Judge: The court acknowledges the defence's views. Payne, please explain in full.

Payne: W-what? Me? I… I couldn't!

HOLD IT!

Malachi: Are you unable to testify because you know it's going to destroy your claim of Quattrocchi's guilt?

Payne: Of course not! Fine, I'll talk!

Payne: When I found Al, he was clearly in shock, he was unable to speak coherently or even able to walk, he was deeply troubled and scarred by watching the crime.

Payne: he kept muttering "No… the wrong person…" and it took hours to get exactly what he saw from him, so I simply helped calm him down and told him to testify ONLY about the crime itself.

Judge: Is the defence satisfied with this?

Malachi: (Thinking) Is that really a good reason…?

(12) Malachi: (desk slam) Quite frankly, the defence does NOT accept this!

Payne: What!? and why's that!?

Malachi: The defence demands that the witness testifies about what he meant by "the wrong person!"

Judge: I must say, I myself was puzzled by that. You were intentionally vague about this during the recess, Payne.

Payne: Witness! You will now testify about the wrong person!

(Testimony)

Al: It's… It's simple really.

Al: When I saw that Amanda killed Menelaos, I was shocked to see that… the wrong person killed him.

Al: I know that she was brought up in an intolerant home, but everyone knew that Mark had it in for him…

Al: So… That's why I couldn't believe that Amanda murdered him.


Page 9
Spoiler:
Judge: Why didn't you mention this sooner!? This changes the argument that there was only one suspect!

Al: …I'm sorry for hiding it, but, it WAS dark and I… was just so shocked to actually see someone die…

Payne: Upon our investigations, we found that the coworker Mark couldn't have been there, plus, the murder weapon has Amanda's fingerprints on it!

Judge: (Nods) Truly this does make it difficult that Mark could have carried out the crime.

Malachi: (shock) Well, there goes my main contradiction…

Judge: You may begin the cross examination!

Al: It's… It's simple really.

Malachi: and why, pray tell, is it so simple?

Payne: Perhaps if the impatient defence will allow the witness to finish…

Judge: Agreed. If you would continue...

Al: When I saw that Amanda killed Menelaos, I was shocked to see that… the wrong person killed him.

Malachi: There it is again… the "Wrong person"… What exactly was so wrong about it?

Al: I've known Amanda for 6 years now, she would never hurt a fly, and she suddenly bashed her new boyfriend's head in? Isn't THAT wrong?

Malachi: …If that's so wrong, why are you testifying against her?

Al: While it's hard to believe, I SAW her murder him in cold blood, and justice must be delivered.

Judge: Agreed, there would be no court without justice, and from no court, there would be no attorneys…

Malachi's Mind: …Did I do anything to annoy him lately…?

(18) Al: I know that she was brought up in an intolerant home, but everyone knew that Mark had it in for him…

HOLD IT!

Malachi's Mind: …This is it. This statement holds the key, but which part should I press him on…?

Judge: Well? Do you have any reason to hold the testimony up?


Last edited by Kenneth on Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Malachi Marriott Witless AttorneyTopic%20Title
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Apollon Flame

Gender: Male

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:14 pm

Posts: 1636

This is actually good, keep 'em up.
A King

in name


alone...
Re: Malachi Marriott Witless AttorneyTopic%20Title

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:04 am

Posts: 13

Thanks for your comment, before I make more pages, I'm seeing how feasible it is to recolour E.D Revolution's Lana to have a black uniform, and there's 40 gifs with many repeated frames between them, which is slowing down the spritesheet, but from what I see, I can have it done, it's just going to take a little while to get those sprites done, or I can simply just use an unedited Lana for Crystal, which would save me so much time in the long run.

I also edited the first post to have the actual script for the first 9 pages, while I am confident with most of them, a few of the pages (7 onwards) I'm not entirely sure about, and would appreciate some feedback or suggestions to improve it.
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