Gettin' Old!
Gender: Male
Location: Scotland
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:30 pm
Posts: 14363
"You know," said the man, "I've always loved each and every one of our children. But something has always bothered me."
"What is it?" asks the wife.
"It's little Victor. All the others look so much alike, but Victor just looks different."
"Well, there is something I must confess to you then, because Victor...doesn't have the same father as the others."
"What? You must tell me then - who is Victor's father!?"
The wife gets teary-eyed and tells him "You."
May take a moment to get it.
I don't get it...feel like I'm looking at a riddle.
Waat, it's effin easy!
The wife has gotten 8 children from another guy and only one from him!
Or were you sarcastically. Or was I wrong?
I understood that....I just thought that's too obvious it seems....not funny like it's not the punchline of the joke.
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
1000% Knight
Gender: Male
Rank: Moderators
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:06 pm
Posts: 6932
Riddle: What begins with C, ends with T, is oval, hairy, delicious, and contains a whitish liquid?
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
Ace Fangirl
Gender: Female
Location: Under your porch, because I love you
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:00 am
Posts: 920
Doublepost.
I knew what was coming, but I laughed anyway.
The Real Human Being
Gender: Male
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:53 pm
Posts: 3479
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Gender: Male
Location: Ireland
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:12 pm
Posts: 352
The woman says "Last night I seen a documentary on the Holocaust, you know my grandfather died in Auschwitz I'm so devastated by it Blah blah blah"
The man turns to her and says "You know my grandfather died in Auschwitz as well"
She the said "Oh my god i'm so sorry if you ever want to talk about it....."
To which he replied "He got drunk and fell out of the guard tower"
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
hahahhaahahhaha...ha...*brick'd*
Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
Gender: Male
Location: CA
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am
Posts: 4993
Life's a Happy Song when there's someone by your side to sing along!
Till the landslide brought me down...
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:03 pm
Posts: 1198
Lol
(even my Indian friend was in hysterics after seeing that)
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am
Posts: 725
Tom, Dick, and Harry were hanging out at a bar. As the alcohol loosened their tongues, they started talking about their wives. Tom boasted that his wife did all the housecleaning. Dick waved a dismissive hand and boasted that in addition to that, his wife brought him breakfast in bed. Harry just smiled. "What?" Dick prompted, "You got one up on both of us?" After letting the silence hang for a few seconds Harry spoke, his voice a rich bass. "Every night, Tammy comes to me on her hands and knees." Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You serious?" Harry slowly nodded, grin widening. "Oh yeah. In the bedroom. Every night she wants it--her lust is palpable." Eyebrows shooting up, Tom and Dick could only stare at Harry, awestruck. Nodding again, Harry concluded,
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
whos there
bigish
bigish who?
No thanks.
10 internet cookies if you get it
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am
Posts: 725
The Real Human Being
Gender: Male
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:53 pm
Posts: 3479
pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored
out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and... then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
Silence took over... and the masochist says: "Meow."
Idol of Polar Bears
Gender: Male
Location: Norcal
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:37 pm
Posts: 4353
Oh Jesus, I lol'd hard.
Gender: Male
Location: Ireland
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:12 pm
Posts: 352
[Words]
Gender: Male
Location: Right beside you... You looked, didn't you?
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:17 pm
Posts: 3940
Hmm...that reminds me of something I learned in my English class. The "eenie, meenie, miney mo" song was originally made a long time ago when racism was much more tolerated. Nowadays we say "catch a tiger by the toe", but back in my teacher's day it was "catch a tigger by the toe", and if you go further back, well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
But to stay on topic:
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
But to stay on topic:
Took me a while to get, but know i understand! That's a good joke actually
What the Devil is going on here?
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:18 am
Posts: 905
But to stay on topic:
Lol a Priest told that one in Church once, Except it was with women and Stepping on turtles..
A joke..
The Real Human Being
Gender: Male
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:53 pm
Posts: 3479
A joke..
No, men shouldn't read.
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am
Posts: 725
lying is bad
Gender: Male
Location: Ithaca, NY
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:34 pm
Posts: 1916
Wow...that guy must have enormous pain tolerance...
Or is masochistic.
Mipeltaja = the real badass
Gender: Male
Location: That one place. No, not that place, the other place.
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:14 am
Posts: 462
Wow...that guy must have enormous pain tolerance...
Or is masochistic.
Tru dat, I hope no woman ever touches MY penis, that would be awful.
In my world, the color red doesn't exist
Gender: Male
Location: Connecticut, USA
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2010 12:05 am
Posts: 114
Godot. A legend or myth... Men pin a lifetime of hopes on the chance to simply meet him. Some people spend their entire lives idly waiting for his appearence.
Till the landslide brought me down...
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:03 pm
Posts: 1198
Hi ho... Bye ho.
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
Boy: I think you are like a roman statue.
Girl: Ah, they're so pretty! You think I'm beautiful, don't you?
Boy: Yes, very beautiful, but not all there.
Call me Ishmael.
Gender: Male
Location: Sweden
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:16 pm
Posts: 2434
This one gets me every time.
In my world, the color red doesn't exist
Gender: Male
Location: Connecticut, USA
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2010 12:05 am
Posts: 114
This one gets me every time.
LMAO That's freakin great. XD
Godot. A legend or myth... Men pin a lifetime of hopes on the chance to simply meet him. Some people spend their entire lives idly waiting for his appearence.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
Gender: Male
Location: CA
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am
Posts: 4993
Life's a Happy Song when there's someone by your side to sing along!
Moo.
Gender: Male
Location: I'm Welsh and live in England. Bleh.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:04 pm
Posts: 1753
He was looking for Pooh.
Another of my "hahano"'s.
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
A Shih-tzu.
Gender: Male
Location: Ireland
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:12 pm
Posts: 352
Idol of Polar Bears
Gender: Male
Location: Norcal
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:37 pm
Posts: 4353
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
The Real Human Being
Gender: Male
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:53 pm
Posts: 3479
FINE
Gender: Male
Location: Not Here
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 3:07 am
Posts: 1316
"without geometry, life is pointless"
"what did the fish said when he ran into the wall?
DAM"
"Two antennas got married, the ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent"
"A baby seal walks into a club... WHAT A TRAGEDY"
"Lincoln isn't guilty, he's in a cent"
"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now"
Idol of Polar Bears
Gender: Male
Location: Norcal
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:37 pm
Posts: 4353
Till the landslide brought me down...
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:03 pm
Posts: 1198
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Tea and Crumpets...England.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Posts: 1564
I'll fall for it...no.
~Did I ever tell you that joke about the wall?
SHADOW AND TRUCY!!!
Gender: Male
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:25 am
Posts: 69
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
That's awesome, here's one:
Thank's to Maggey for the Sig and Avatar
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