Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Anthony wrote:
Everything went Dark..... Black. That was all I could see. Darkness....
Were you in a giant mug, staring up at Godot?
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Re: The vent station
You know, a Mario game!
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Sierra Mikain wrote:
Anthony wrote:
Everything went Dark..... Black. That was all I could see. Darkness....
Were you in a giant mug, staring up at Godot?
If there was a GS anime, I'd love to see that as a nightmare sequence experienced by Phoenix.
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Re: The vent station
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Sierra Mikain wrote:
Anthony wrote:
Everything went Dark..... Black. That was all I could see. Darkness....
Were you in a giant mug, staring up at Godot?
No. Everything was just black.
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Re: The vent station
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Still I've known plenty of folks who exist happily as friends after they broke up, for some folks it's a harmless transition. If you stay friends you might still get all the support and companionship you would have with a girlfriend. She might still understand you and talk like old times it might just be less romantic.
I went had the same problem in school too, I made friends with a cute girl who I hung out and chatted with. We didn't really have anything in common sadly and so we both agreed to stay friends after a brief stint where we tried it. She's still charming and fun to talk to even after we've left school.
I met the girl I love now after that so it's not like you can never enjoy her company or never experience love again.
Though I get if you'll need time to grieve just now man, must be a horrible thing to swallow.
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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C-A
PS: Nothing against her, but somehow the reason being something about her parents' divorce seems a bit... not enough. (Especially since divorce is nothing special these days, anymore, most marriages end up going through a divorce)
Re: The vent station
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Quote:
Unless you have divorced parents, you don't understand that pain that people, especially the children, have to go through.
My parents got separated and divorced when I was 7 - 8 years old. I remember one time crying about their divorce, but I think at that point I was also crying because I had moved with my mother to a different place and still had to get used to everything... maybe. My memory is pretty hazy about that time. I don't know if my father paid for my raising, my mother had a good job and continued to get good jobs when she applied to new places. As for my father, we don't have contact very often. There are months between the times we talk, even if it's just via messages or e-mail.
Not trying to analyze, but I'm just guessing that you telling her that she should try to be a bit more open might have made her feel a bit uncomfortable, like you were trying to force her to do something. I'm sure you weren't, but this is just coming from someone who is pretty difficult with her emotions, too.
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Re: The vent station
Do you see the black one...or the white?
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CatMuto wrote:
Pierre wrote:
Man...that looks dull...this actually makes me worried for KH3 (since that team worked on the battle system)
I feel the same
Re: The vent station
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So either believe me when I say I can hear the doorbell at times or make the damn doorbell louder.
C-A
PS: If anyone says why don't I keep my door open, it's cause I've had bad experience with letting cats into my rooms that involved them shitting under my bed.
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Look, mom, I CAN hear the doorbell in my room when my door is closed. But generally if my room is in a semi-quiet condition. This means that, even with my headphones on, as long as I am not playing music/listening to an LP or similar on my headphones, I can still hear the doorbell. I didn't hear it this time cause I was busy voicing Payne and Young!Phoenix for my AA LP, both of which I gave annoying, high pitched voices. Of course I am focused on that and can't hear the doorbell.
So either believe me when I say I can hear the doorbell at times or make the damn doorbell louder.
C-A
PS: If anyone says why don't I keep my door open, it's cause I've had bad experience with letting cats into my rooms that involved them shitting under my bed.
So either believe me when I say I can hear the doorbell at times or make the damn doorbell louder.
C-A
PS: If anyone says why don't I keep my door open, it's cause I've had bad experience with letting cats into my rooms that involved them shitting under my bed.
My cats if I clsoe the door and they are either inside or outside of the room. they will scratch the door wanting to go in or go out. But sometimes they will lay down in the room and sleep. ONE of them likes to sit on my lap while I am on the laptop...... making it near impossible to do stuff on the computer.
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Either way when you see her again you might be able to get some answers if you sit down and ask her. Just...remember and be a Gentleman about it because you are going to have to accept her reasons as you can't make her be with you. It won't look good if you fly off the handle and start shouting at her publicly.
Good Luck Tophat
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Re: The vent station
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Relationships are about self-sacrifice? That sounds dumb. A relationship is supposed to be about, yes, compromise, being comfortable around the other person, being yourself and not feeling like you need to somehow change your behavior or mood when you are near them. It requires trust. Why would I need to sacrifice anything about myself in a relationship? Such a relationship sounds trite and bound to fail.
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Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Relationships are about self-sacrifice? That sounds dumb. A relationship is supposed to be about, yes, compromise, being comfortable around the other person, being yourself and not feeling like you need to somehow change your behavior or mood when you are near them. It requires trust. Why would I need to sacrifice anything about myself in a relationship? Such a relationship sounds trite and bound to fail.
C-A
C-A
Self-sacrifice is just a hard word for compromise Cat. When you compromise you sacrifice part of something you want so that someone else can get something they want. I meant to use the words interchangeably. This works two ways you should expect a partner to make the same compromises and sacrifices for you from time to time as well.
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Re: The vent station
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Quote:
I'm going to explain to her that I understand her reasons for being scared, but I'm also going to convince her that I really do care. Judging from what she's been through, there's never been a good person like me in her life. And in those two months we were dating, I saw that she really was happy. It's just now that she's realized her fear. I have to tell her that I know these things. It's the only way I can save this relationship. I think that just by wanting to have this conversation in the first place, it shows that I care already.
*Devil's Advocate* What if that isn't the reason? What if you telling her that and talking to her like that makes her feel worse, like she's a weak person who can't do anything on her own and requires a person like you to open up to? Or she just plain broke up for a different reason.
I know I may sound mean, but this just sounds like you're thinking up reasons when... well, what with the break up had no reason behind it?
C-A
Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Chloe wrote:
My boyfriend wants me to live with him, but I think it's the worst idea ever. I can't imagine living with him. He imagines a perfect little family and lots of money and I picture no money, living off cheap takeaways and benefits.
Sounds like the end of the road there XP I'd love to move somewhere with my girlfriend but I'm not clueless to the financial realities of it.
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Re: The vent station
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Also, I know you want very much to save your relationship, but even after a talk and an impassioned plea, there's no guarantee she'll change her mind and continue to be your girlfriend.
And a couple of things to think about, since you cited possible reasons for her breaking away. I'm not trying make assumptions or judgments, because all we have is your side of the story.
The first thing is the level of doting that went on. When you showered her with affection and bent over backwards to make her feel at ease, while you stated she wasn't the type to show affection and may not have been reciprocating as much - did this not send up a red flag? I'm not saying all relationships like this are doomed to fail, I'm just curious. Were you treating her like a person, or were you simply placing her on top of a pedestal, in the hopes that you would get something out of it? I realize some things change when your friendship becomes something more, but did it change too much, too soon?
The second is where you give the impression that you two would be each other's everything. People with similar backgrounds are often drawn to one another, I realize, and there's nothing wrong with that. But what of the expectations here? Is it "the two of us against the world"? Is it just that you would lick each other's wounds and confide in each other about everything? Or that you would solve each other's problems (impossible to do)? Relationships are fine, but there is a risk you take when you place this amount of pressure on one another. When you become each other's worlds, your world is gone if that person leaves. And it can be tempting as hell if you initially see that person as the only light in your life.
Again, I'm not trying to make accusations or judgments, and I apologize if I come off that way. These are just things to think about. It could very well be her insecurities at not feeling loved, not being able to trust you due to events in her past. It could be she just prefers you as a friend. It could be a combination of things - maybe she didn't feel worthy of your expectations, or she found the flaw in shutting out the rest of the world to run to a single person and treat them as a refuge. It's hard to say, but even if you find out the reason, it doesn't mean the relationship will be saved.
One thing though, I would like to comment on - when you say you "just can't be friends with her." Why not? I get that it hurts now, but do you mean not ever? Didn't you have a friendship before, and were getting along just fine? Were you only interested in friendship because you were hoping it would lead to something more? If that's the case, denying someone friendship because the romance is over might make that person feel they aren't worthy of even friendship. I don't know how she feels, but that can also be something to grieve.
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Re: The vent station
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Chloe wrote:
My boyfriend wants me to live with him, but I think it's the worst idea ever. I can't imagine living with him. He imagines a perfect little family and lots of money and I picture no money, living off cheap takeaways and benefits.
can't even imagine affording cheap takeaways more than once a week. You guys might be loaded.
Re: The vent station
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Yellow Magician wrote:
Chloe wrote:
My boyfriend wants me to live with him, but I think it's the worst idea ever. I can't imagine living with him. He imagines a perfect little family and lots of money and I picture no money, living off cheap takeaways and benefits.
can't even imagine affording cheap takeaways more than once a week. You guys might be loaded.
Yeah the 'cheap' in takeaways threw me for a loop XD
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Re: The vent station
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Although I wonder why you are still hurt over your parents' divorce after 7 years... my parents got divorced 15 years ago and I still don't pine over the fact that it happened...
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Quote:
I'm not giving up yet on this and I will convince her.
Oh great. You feel like you have to convince her to be your girlfriend again. That's certainly a sign of a good relationship for years to come!
Quote:
Then why didn't she tell me if that were true? I kept asking her if there was anything from me that she wanted to change. I can't read minds here, so I don't know her exact thoughts.
...you expect a girl who, according to your posts, has had a rough life and difficulty in expressing her emotions, to openly say when something bothers her and asks you to change?
And honestly, TopHat, you reverted to the same miserable pile of self-pity you seem to have been the last time you were here. I could understand you still being hurt and traumatized by your parents' divorce if it was a year or two ago, but by God, it was SEVEN. YEARS. AGO. Let it go. Especially because a divorce is between the parents, not the kids! You still seem to have regular contact with your father, you're already better than me at that.
And stop thinking that just cause you have a dick, it makes it already more difficult for your ex to trust you. That's not enough of a reason. Heck, if her father left, she's probably just as afraid that her mom will abandon her or any other female in her life.
You're still a minor, yeah. What was it, last time you mentioned it, you were, what, 16 years old? You're 16 years old, kid! You may get this cock-eyed idea that, if you had your girlfriend back everything would turn out hunky-dory just cause you have HER. I swear, if you tell her that she is "all you'll ever want" you're gonna freaking scare her off.
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Pierre wrote:
Cat...I think you're starting to step a bit out of line here, perhaps back off. You've complained about people giving you advice you didn't want or ask for before. Tophat's actually said he's tired of your advice so best let him just vent then, at this rate it's just going to devolve into a flame war.
You're talking to Cat, here, she's impossible to reason with.
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Re: The vent station
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Pierre wrote:
Cat...I think you're starting to step a bit out of line here, perhaps back off. You've complained about people giving you advice you didn't want or ask for before. Tophat's actually said he's tired of your advice so best let him just vent then, at this rate it's just going to devolve into a flame war.
This is exactly why I suggested putting in a "No Chat" rule for this thread.
And if he doesn't want any advice, he should say so in every post. *shrug*
Isn't that what you told me to do?
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
I'm not giving up yet on this and I will convince her.
Oh great. You feel like you have to convince her to be your girlfriend again. That's certainly a sign of a good relationship for years to come!
Well Cat´s obvious sarcasm aside, and I don´t say this a lot, but I think she´s on the right track here. You sound pretty selfish in saying that everything needs to change so everything will be accustomed to your benefits. I can´t blame you for wanting that because you´re also only human, but pursuing this has ´bad consequences´ written all over it.
CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
Then why didn't she tell me if that were true? I kept asking her if there was anything from me that she wanted to change. I can't read minds here, so I don't know her exact thoughts.
...you expect a girl who, according to your posts, has had a rough life and difficulty in expressing her emotions, to openly say when something bothers her and asks you to change?
And honestly, TopHat, you reverted to the same miserable pile of self-pity you seem to have been the last time you were here. I could understand you still being hurt and traumatized by your parents' divorce if it was a year or two ago, but by God, it was SEVEN. YEARS. AGO. Let it go. Especially because a divorce is between the parents, not the kids! You still seem to have regular contact with your father, you're already better than me at that.
And stop thinking that just cause you have a dick, it makes it already more difficult for your ex to trust you. That's not enough of a reason. Heck, if her father left, she's probably just as afraid that her mom will abandon her or any other female in her life.
You're still a minor, yeah. What was it, last time you mentioned it, you were, what, 16 years old? You're 16 years old, kid! You may get this cock-eyed idea that, if you had your girlfriend back everything would turn out hunky-dory just cause you have HER. I swear, if you tell her that she is "all you'll ever want" you're gonna freaking scare her off.
C-A
C´mon Cat, Tophat is still pretty young I believe. He's like 16 or 17 I thought, meaning the divorce would happen around when he's 9 or 10. Dealing with that kind of stuff in puberty is pretty tough, especially since he stated to be miserable a lot of this time. It adds to the pain as where you would heal. True, 7 years is pretty long, but it depends from person to person on how and when they heal. Note that in some cases a person NEVER heals from a certain event. Let him get away with making some bad decisions, we all did during puberty.
You know Cat, I see being a direct speaker as virtue. I also like that you never beat around the proverbial bush, but when you say things like :
"And stop thinking that just cause you have a dick, it makes it already more difficult for your ex to trust you" and "You may get this cock-eyed idea that, if you had your girlfriend back everything would turn out hunky-dory just cause you have HER. I swear, if you tell her that she is "all you'll ever want" you're gonna freaking scare her off." This is just goddamn judgmental. Especially when you were lashing out to people reacting to your own vents (who reacted in a constructive matter) you seem pretty eager to lash out at the vents of other people. Having an unpopular opinion is fine and telling the hard truth also needs to be done, but if I can't stand something it's a hypocrite.
edit: messed up the quote area's
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Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Pierre wrote:
Cat...I think you're starting to step a bit out of line here, perhaps back off. You've complained about people giving you advice you didn't want or ask for before. Tophat's actually said he's tired of your advice so best let him just vent then, at this rate it's just going to devolve into a flame war.
This is exactly why I suggested putting in a "No Chat" rule for this thread.
And if he doesn't want any advice, he should say so in every post. *shrug*
Isn't that what you told me to do?
C-A
Yeah...but...
Quote:
And Cat, I'm really sick and tired of your responses right now in particular to be perfectly honest.
He gave you a pretty clear signal that he didn't want your advice in particular.
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Re: The vent station
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Sjibbey wrote:
C´mon Cat, Tophat is still pretty young I believe. He's like 16 or 17 I thought, meaning the divorce would happen around when he's 9 or 10.
...I was SEVEN when my parents separated and got a divorce!
Quote:
Having an unpopular opinion is fine and telling the hard truth also needs to be done, but if I can't stand something it's a hypocrite.
I fail to see how am I a hypocrite? I fully am aware that people think I'm a bitch and I'm fine with that. In fact, I'd be happier if I managed to be as much a bitch in public as I am online cause then I wouldn't feel like a total pushover in public.
People call me coldhearted, yeah whatever. And I think he will scare her if he says she's all he needs. How old is she? Similar to his age, right? Heck, I've been in a relationship for six years and if I was told that I'm the one thing that holds my husband up, I'd feel pretty freaked out and scared.
Quote:
He gave you a pretty clear signal that he didn't want your advice in particular.
In all honesty, I am sick of him - again, if you remember the last time! Miserable pile of self-pity, Tophat! That's what you sound like!
C-A
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
I fail to see how am I a hypocrite? I fully am aware that people think I'm a bitch and I'm fine with that. In fact, I'd be happier if I managed to be as much a bitch in public as I am online cause then I wouldn't feel like a total pushover in public.
People call me coldhearted, yeah whatever. And I think he will scare her if he says she's all he needs. How old is she? Similar to his age, right? Heck, I've been in a relationship for six years and if I was told that I'm the one thing that holds my husband up, I'd feel pretty freaked out and scared.
C-A
I never said you were a bitch or coldhearted Cat, I even applauded your 'direct speaker' attitude towards conversing here. If you fail to see the hypocrisy in your statements read this again:
Sjibbey wrote:
You know Cat, I see being a direct speaker as virtue. I also like that you never beat around the proverbial bush, but when you say things like :
"And stop thinking that just cause you have a dick, it makes it already more difficult for your ex to trust you" and "You may get this cock-eyed idea that, if you had your girlfriend back everything would turn out hunky-dory just cause you have HER. I swear, if you tell her that she is "all you'll ever want" you're gonna freaking scare her off." This is just goddamn judgmental. Especially when you were lashing out to people reacting to your own vents (who reacted in a constructive matter) you seem pretty eager to lash out at the vents of other people. Having an unpopular opinion is fine and telling the hard truth also needs to be done, but if I can't stand something it's a hypocrite.
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Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Sjibbey wrote:
C´mon Cat, Tophat is still pretty young I believe. He's like 16 or 17 I thought, meaning the divorce would happen around when he's 9 or 10.
...I was SEVEN when my parents separated and got a divorce!
C-A
Oh really well I was TWO years old when my parents got divorced.
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Re: The vent station
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Anthony wrote:
CatMuto wrote:
Sjibbey wrote:
C´mon Cat, Tophat is still pretty young I believe. He's like 16 or 17 I thought, meaning the divorce would happen around when he's 9 or 10.
...I was SEVEN when my parents separated and got a divorce!
C-A
Oh really well I was TWO years old when my parents got divorced.
Umm should divorce really be a competition xD
Re: The vent station
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I'm not telling you guys to stop talking about this, but try to keep your comments from becoming too off-topic or vitriolic, and if you're not sure if something will be over the line, you can err on the side of caution and just not post it.
And no, divorce isn't a competition. Let's not make it one.
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: The vent station
Gender: Female
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2012 2:23 pm
Posts: 9918
Sjibbey wrote:
I never said you were a bitch or coldhearted Cat, I even applauded your 'direct speaker' attitude towards conversing here. If you fail to see the hypocrisy in your statements read this again:
Hence, from now on, if I want to simply vent something, I will make mention in the post that I do not want someone to somehow give me advice. *shrug*
Quote:
Oh really well I was TWO years old when my parents got divorced.
Can't be very traumatizing at that age, considering you're a toddler that probably doesn't notice much around them.
C-A
Re: The vent station
The Chocolateholic of CR
Gender: Male
Location: Unknown
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:40 am
Posts: 2818
CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
Oh really well I was TWO years old when my parents got divorced.
Can't be very traumatizing at that age, considering you're a toddler that probably doesn't notice much around them.
C-A
Oh I paid much attention back then. At the time I thought my parents were gonna take a break from each other.
The Dragovian King and Captain Of The Ragnarok Ship and Owner of The Ragnarok Ranch.
I'm a ♌ since 1990 of August 10th. Better Recognize.
3DS FC:2535-5065-3560
Re: The vent station
In Justice We Trust
Gender: Male
Location: Southern California
Rank: Admin
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:31 pm
Posts: 4213
I'll always love you, Max.
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