Spanish teacher, explaining gramar:

"My mother is not a cooker."

Teach is in a bad mood
class is completely quiet
im stirring up trouble
so finnaly i turn to him and say "Mr.Hill, why are you wearing a yellow shirt"
and Mr.Hill says and i quote "EAT A D**K!"
and im like "¬_¬"

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One of my teachers at college is an absolute legend.

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Teacher: *jumps onto a table*
Girl at table:
Teacher: *jumps off* I can do that! But you can't. *proceeds to wipe table with his sleeve*

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"Don't forget! The pureness of a woman doesn't lie in the integrity of her hymen!" - Ramon Bautista, Film Professor.

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My teacher climbed on her desk, talking about Hitler. Some kids were talking while she was doing this, so she jumps off, screaming at them in German. They flipped shit and ran out of the room.
AND NO WORK WAS EVER DONE.

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Not really "said" so much as "wrote", but... One day, one of the art teachers was standing with his back a bit too close to the kiln. His jacket caught on fire (don't worry, he was unscathed, though the same could not be said of his jacket). Later, the remnants of that jacket were mounted on the wall of his classroom. Under it was a sign with "BEWARE OF THE KILN" written on it in big letters.

"OW! ...I mean... AY!" --Spanish teacher after stubbing his toe.

One of the students on our debate team complained about how other teams tend to be rather cold towards our team. The coach explained the reason thusly: "There's a football team called the Patriots, and everybody hates them 'cause they always win. There's a baseball team called the Yankees, and everybody hates them 'cause they always win. There's a debate team called [name of our school], and everybody hates them 'cause they always win."

"2004 was a fluke!" --Math teacher, originally from New York. As someone born in the Boston area, I found that remark especially satisfying.

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My US history teacher was complaining about how incredibly liberal and inaccurate this one question was on our state test involving something about Native Americans (I forgot exactly what it was about).

He said, "The Native Americans were not a bunch of nature-loving, happy-go-lucky people that were sitting on stumps with birds flying up and perching on their shoulders, whistling happy Disney tunes, and little forest creatures cuddling up against them, until the evil Europeans came in and took over, twiddling their mustaches."

Now that I look back on it, that sounds an awful lot like Acro.

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