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I've felt worse.

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Pierre wrote:
Nnnggh your family is split about politics and argues about it? That must be rough.

At this point it's more of an annoyance than anything remotely serious. They even agreed that arguing about it is completely fruitless, yet it still went on. Maybe they just want something to argue about? I know at least one of them does.
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"It's never too late to learn that growing old doesn't have to mean growing up. Stay curious, stay weird, stay kind, and don't let anyone ever tell you you aren't smart or brave or worthy enough." -Stanford Pines, Gravity Falls
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There is one specific thing that bothers me about people preaching about their political views. They preach to me, as if I didn’t know what kind of logic/mentality they follow. So they keep using the same cliche, common arguments... but I already know where they are coming from. A lot of people know where they are coming from. Most people’s political views are so banal/common. One of these days I told one guy who was preaching to me, “if I wanted to hear your opinions, I know all I have to do is buy a newspaper or turn my TV on”. And this is true. I’m kind of tired of seeing people parroting everything they hear from their parents, TV, or some internet source that is clearly biased. And let’s be honest, most people are not willing to rethink their views. It is fixed. Their goal is to prove to themselves they are right, and I don’t want to waste my time arguing with people who will never change their views.

Side comment: that was a urban legend and my friend was just fucking with me lol. I believed it lol.
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Happy Maria

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Last three days have been declared holidays thanks to the heavy rains. ITs nice, but also a bit annoying because work is pretty important right now.

Also happy new month everybody
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Gettin' Old!

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Hope you all had a Happy Halloween if you celebrated it.

I heard some Churches were concerned about the 'worship' of a pagan. Holiday and so started holding 'Light Parties' on Halloween instead and encouraging children to come dressed up as superheroes. Showing something like there is always light in the darkness.

Honestly I wouldn't worry so much. I imagine the diehard pagans who celebrate the true nature of Halloween probably feel as gutted as the Christians who feel the true meaning of Christmas has been stamped on. Both are just super commercialised fun celebrations at this point.
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I don’t know if they know, but Christmas has “pagan roots” too, yet I don’t see any Christian complaining about it :ron:

And honestly, I don’t like the word “pagan”. I think it is a popular word we just use automatically (including myself), but it basically puts everything that isn’t Christian/monotheism in the same box.
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Gettin' Old!

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Isn't Pagan the original word for an old religion? I felt it was a specific term for an old religion with its old gods rather than a grouping term made up elsewhere.
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Happy Maria

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My new project is going rather good. I'm still sorting out a few of the kinks but tbh I'd pretty much be alright with announcing it next week or so. Unfortunately I won't be really able to do so until April or May but I'm still pretty excited. This is the first time I've really done something on this level and I'm a bit nervous as to how it will be received. But might as well give it a try, huh?
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@Pierre The actual origin of the term is pejorative. It was used by the early Christians to define somebody who in their view worshipped “false gods” (mostly polytheistic people).. I know that in the last century more people started to used the word in a neautral way, to describe the religions of ancient civilizations. I don’t doubt you used the word with the latter definition in your mind.

@Southern Corn Wait, what? The Kinks? You mean the band? THE KINKS <3? What project? What about them?
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Happy Maria

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No, lol. I mean 'sorting out the kinks', like the quirks in the project. I didn't even know there was a band by the same name till now. The project itself has little to do with them, I'm afraid.
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★ I wanna Yabba Dabba Die ★

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My boyfriend and I were going to go to a haunted house on Halloween but it was too expensive, sadly. :sadshoe:
So instead we just got high and played Magic the Gathering and made a late trip to McDonald's for some Big Macs.
I'm still here in Canada for another two weeks and I'm so happy about that. <3
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It’s 10 AM, and I’m pretty sure my teenage cousin is talking to somebody on the phone and making noise close to my room’s door because she wants me to “wake up”. Uuuuuugh, so fucking annoying. Her conversation with her friend is also annoying me. “Hee-hee, oooh *something* paint my hair, hee-hee go to the mall weeeeee”. I want to kill somebody today.
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Happy Maria

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What a walk to the park I just had. It looks more like a swamp after the rains. Well, it started drizzling after I left when I finished my 3 rounds, but thankfully I got home in time and had a nice bath. Finally refreshed now.

The whole thing took me from 5:18 to 5:55 so that's less than 40 minutes. Whew.
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Thelema wrote:
It’s 10 AM, and I’m pretty sure my teenage cousin is talking to somebody on the phone and making noise close to my room’s door because she wants me to “wake up”. Uuuuuugh, so fucking annoying. Her conversation with her friend is also annoying me. “Hee-hee, oooh *something* paint my hair, hee-hee go to the mall weeeeee”. I want to kill somebody today.


You scream down the hall, "Yes! Go to the mall or I'll kill you for not shutting up!"

C-A
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This site is weird lol
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★ I wanna Yabba Dabba Die ★

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You're weird. :ron:
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Happy Maria

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Uh, okay?

And YET ANOTHER DAY OF HEAVY RAINS. Alright, I like having days off and all but this is too much. I've actually run out of stuff to do at this point.
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ChunkOfTaro wrote:
This site is weird lol


I’m weird :basil:

Has anyone here any luck/experience with things like breathing exercises/meditation? I feel like I can’t spend one full minute doing these things correctly...
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Happy Maria

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I've meditated before, though I do agree it can be hard sometimes. Blocking out all other thoughts and just breathing for a whole minute is the hardest part of it since I'm always thinking to myself all the time.
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It is very difficult for me, too. I can’t even sit still in one place for too long without feeling tense, let alone sit still without thinking about anything. I’ve been told by people that only my PRESENCE is enough to make them tense/nervous sometimes. I understand the overthinking part too, I feel like my mind is a hurricane 24/7 (even when I’m sleeping).

Goddamn, I have to do something, but I just can’t stop procrastinating lol. And can’t stop feeling guilty for not doing what I have to do. Nevermind, fuck it, I’m going to start doing it right now ~
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Discipline and organization. Two simple words, two big monsters in my life. These things have always been my weak spot, but I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel I should develop those qualities at all costs, otherwise I’m fucked *sigh*

‘Sup everyone
I can’t believe it is almost 2018 :ron: I feel like yesterday was 2014
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Happy Maria

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Same. Time flies by so fast.

Today was super satisfying. I don't know why but overall I feel really happy.
Also going to watch the new Thor movie tomorrow with my brother which is exciting.

I hope the rest of you are doing just as well.
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Happy Maria

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I know this is a double post, but forgive me. I am ecstatic at this recent development.

So I went on a walk today. It was a spur of the moment thing (I also went five rounds yesterday) and I was honestly expecting to come back pretty soon (I left one hour earlier than usual). Today was special because I went to the park with a goal in mind- to finish seven rounds. Guess how many I did?

Ten.

It's the most I've ever walked so far and I'm pretty damn proud of it. It also started raining about eight or nine rounds into this, but I had a cap so I kept on walking. Though my family got a bit worried about me (my walks usually take an hour at most and this was 90 minutes) and came for me. Thankfully I was coming back by then so it was all good.

But it gets better! After I quickly changed I went to check my weight. It's dropped by 2 kg. I think if I can keep this up even in the weekends I can finally start to lose weight as well as my ponch and finally become nice and lean again.
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Hey, congratulations :redd: keep up the good work!

-

Seriously, I am so... uuuuuugh. I have to deal with a lot of things this week that I DON’T want to deal with. Fuck my life. I just wish I could press a “pause” button, stop/freeze the world sometimes, and relax. But time does not stop, it keeps going and putting pressure on me. Again, FML. Lmao I wish I could be my cat sometimes. She is so quiet and peaceful, sleeping on the chair. She doesn’t have to worry about these things.
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Happy Maria

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Thelema wrote:
Hey, congratulations :redd: keep up the good work!


Thanks! And I did!

Alright, so today I went out a little later than usual, but I still did 10 rounds again! I swear I only wanted to do 5 or 7 but I just keep going. And to be honest, I'm glad because this time, I barely felt that tired. I think these weekly 10 rounds are helping me! Though strangely this time my weight has actually gone up since last week, but I think that's just natural.

I also saw a man and his sons playing with their pet dog and its puppy. TBH, my feelings on dogs have gone up a lot this year. I ignore them, they ignore me. Well, at least most of 'em. When I was coming back, I ran into this pack of dogs wearing these collars. They ran towards me and well, my fight or flight response kicked in and I ran for it. From what I can tell though those ones were guard dogs and they seemed to only be there at around 6-7 so it's all good in the hood.

Also saw a few familiar faces but other than that I was too focussed on my walk to really pay attention to most of the stuff going on around me.
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★ I wanna Yabba Dabba Die ★

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I am on my way home from Canada and I brought my lovely boyfriend with me. Once I arrive (8:30am) I have to get ready for work at 10:30am. Yay for 11.5 hour bus rides, little to no sleep and an early shift at work! Woo!
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The Real Human Being

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You reposted in the wrong trousers.
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I am watching a series called Mindhunters on Netflix. It is very good... terrific. It is about psychopaths/serial killers. I am somewhat impressionable, so I had goosebumps watching the scenes where they interviewed psychopaths. It is based on real people... like Charles Manson, Edmund Kemper etc.

It is so strange to imagine that you could just sit and have a “common” conversation with a serial killer. The dude can look superficially charming and inoffensive lol. And can fake emotions very well. There are statistics, like, 1% of the population is somewhere on the psychopath spectrum? So it is probable I have met one, and talked to one during my lifetime. Crazy.
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Gettin' Old!

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So I landed a new job.

Cattendant in Glasgow's new cat cafe.

It's a bit of a dream job and it took a lot of confidence just to muster up the drive to go for it. Now I feel real nervous about it, the thought of it being so contested makes me feel expendable but somehow I was still chosen. It's right frightening it is.

Getting a lot of feelings I experienced last year starting my course. A lot of "why am I here? Am I good enough?" Kinda thoughts. Fortunately I've been through that before but it's still really unreal.

Shameless shill: Swing by if ever you get to Glasgow.
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@Pierre Congratulations! Remember, they hired you for a reason. And cattendant? Talk about an amazing job :~ I mean, a place with coffe + cats is close to being one of the best places on Earth.
And now I have one place to go in Glasgow when I go there next July haha

-

I just realized I’m almost always at my best/happier in the end and beginning of the year. Meaning, November - December - January - February - March. Doesn’t make sense, but it is almost always like this.
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Happy Maria

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Pierre wrote:
So I landed a new job.

Cattendant in Glasgow's new cat cafe.

It's a bit of a dream job and it took a lot of confidence just to muster up the drive to go for it. Now I feel real nervous about it, the thought of it being so contested makes me feel expendable but somehow I was still chosen. It's right frightening it is.

Getting a lot of feelings I experienced last year starting my course. A lot of "why am I here? Am I good enough?" Kinda thoughts. Fortunately I've been through that before but it's still really unreal.

Shameless shill: Swing by if ever you get to Glasgow.


Great job, Pierre! I'll be sure to swing by there sometime and get you a drink :D

Recently my hands and legs are becoming numb in my sleep and it always bothers me. I wonder why. Maybe because of the change in location.
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Last edited by Southern Corn on Sat Nov 25, 2017 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Appreciate it guys!

Just hope I can keep it together and hold it down! The manager loves this project so I don't wanna disappoint her.
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So, the other day I got some cool new shoes for my weekend walks. Figured they would help a lot. Today I decided to wear them and go out. This was the first time I went out with 10 rounds in mind from the get go.

I did 15 instead.

Okay, this was funny the first few times but now it's gotten extremely excruciating lol. 15 rounds in the park is about 7.1 km and adding the distance from my house to there times two, you get approximately 7.2 km of walking, leaving one pretty tired and dehydrated individual. My feet are hurting quite a lot and my body is still numb all over. I'm proud of this new record, I guess, but let's just say I won't be so ambitious in the near future. 10 rounds is already more than enough. The shoes also didn't give my feet much room to breathe but I guess they helped a lot too so they're good.

Oh, and I lost 1.1 kg from this round. Pretty nice, but noticeably my face has gotten thinner and longer.

I can't even use my legs ATM lol
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Southern Corn wrote:
So, the other day I got some cool new shoes for my weekend walks. Figured they would help a lot. Today I decided to wear them and go out. This was the first time I went out with 10 rounds in mind from the get go.

I did 15 instead.

Okay, this was funny the first few times but now it's gotten extremely excruciating lol. 15 rounds in the park is about 7.1 km and adding the distance from my house to there times two, you get approximately 7.2 km of walking, leaving one pretty tired and dehydrated individual. My feet are hurting quite a lot and my body is still numb all over. I'm proud of this new record, I guess, but let's just say I won't be so ambitious in the near future. 10 rounds is already more than enough. The shoes also didn't give my feet much room to breathe but I guess they helped a lot too so they're good.

Oh, and I lost 1.1 kg from this round. Pretty nice, but noticeably my face has gotten thinner and longer.

I can't even use my legs ATM lol


Dehydrated? Are you taking a bottle of water with you? It's real important to drink plenty when exercising.
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Personally I dislike the idea of taking breaks between rounds. Usually because when I stop, all that exercising catches up with me and I become more tired. Which is why I try to maintain a constant pace.

Though maybe this was why I felt so tired, so I'll try your suggestion tomorrow and see what unfolds of it.
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I think it is admirable how you are motivated to do those exercises tho. Wish I had the same drive/focus - I have none when it comes to physical exercises. I dislike everything that comes with physical exercises (except the long term results). Sweating for example. All that bodily discomfort. My mother calls me “princess” lol. Because my tolerance to lack of physical comfort is really low.

But this has to change. Especially given how part of my family has a history of heart diseases.
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Happy Maria

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Thelema wrote:
I think it is admirable how you are motivated to do those exercises tho. Wish I had the same drive/focus - I have none when it comes to physical exercises. I dislike everything that comes with physical exercises (except the long term results). Sweating for example. All that bodily discomfort. My mother calls me “princess” lol. Because my tolerance to lack of physical comfort is really low.

But this has to change. Especially given how part of my family has a history of heart diseases.

XD It's really nothing. The main reason I like doing all this is because walking is a good way to really exercise while also conserving a good chunk of your energy. Much like you, I've never been a fan of physical exercises, but walking is really good mainly because I can also think about other stuff that I'm doing and also because I really like the park that I walk through. And just in general I really do want to lose weight. Things haven't been the same since the '14 Incident. The 10 rounds was just something I built up over days and days of walking (since half a year back, actually) and arbitrarily did one day.

Sweating isn't that bad either. It's just your body supplying you with some cool. I love wiping it because it means that wonderful drop of sweat courses through my forehead and gives me a slight chill that I feel gives me a little more energy to carry on. You'll have to get used to it if you ever wish to exercise :P
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I came back to America last Saturday night and arrived Sunday morning. I brought my boyfriend with me so he could spend Thanksgiving with me and my family. Everything started out well until my aunt and dad decided it was a perfect time to have a shouting fest right in front of my boyfriend and my sister's fiance. Lovely. Anyway after the awkward tension passed and we went home my boyfriend and I got drunk to forget about what happened just a few hours earlier. Then we passed out and spent all of Friday together and he went home that night.
So right now he's looking for an apartment and getting everything set up so that I can visit him again in a few months and live with him. I'm going to accumulate as much money as possible so that I can support myself while I find work at the same time. I'm pretty excited and impatient about all of this. So far at work I've been getting 30+ hour shifts which make me so happy. I also found out that I got a raise while I was away which is great.
That's pretty much all that's been happening. My boyfriend and I are going on 10 months and I've never been happier. Despite the distance, I've seen him for the equivalent of 4 months. He's really amazing and I'm really happy that we met. ^__^ ~
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Fairly sure this is going to be one of the busiest weeks of my life. I almost feel as if my whole life depends on this week.

I just want my vacation lol. Just one week and a half away, but it looks like eternity. I want free time because I have a lot of stuff to do; one of my main goals for the next few months is to actually develop more discipline on my own. This will be hard work, but I know I can. I have to. Plus: develop culinary skills. Learn how to sleep and eat like a healthy/normal human being (this will be difficult; it has been years and years since I sleep like 5 hours on average, and I forget to eat fairly often)
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Thelema wrote:
Fairly sure this is going to be one of the busiest weeks of my life. I almost feel as if my whole life depends on this week.

I just want my vacation lol. Just one week and a half away, but it looks like eternity. I want free time because I have a lot of stuff to do; one of my main goals for the next few months is to actually develop more discipline on my own. This will be hard work, but I know I can. I have to. Plus: develop culinary skills. Learn how to sleep and eat like a healthy/normal human being (this will be difficult; it has been years and years since I sleep like 5 hours on average, and I forget to eat fairly often)



So what's your plans for improving those things?
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Happy Maria

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Great how everything seems to be going well for you, Dawny!

Yesterday's exercise was a complete flop tbh. Well, almost, anyway. I did actually walk the 10 rounds, but for some reason when I left the house I started getting this weird sensation in my stomach. I think it was cramps for some reason. Weirdly enough I've been getting that feeling today as well even when walking short distances. Not really sure why. Also, there was a bit of rain meaning I couldn't wear my shoes and my slippers are really terrible. I also couldn't bring the bottle so overall I'm surprised I made it home the way I was.

Today was...better. I guess. I decided to do a bit of exercise on the hands. You know the metal things where you basically do push-ups? Well, I did those, but the ones in the pace where I did it are really short so you can actually get up on those. I tried pretty hard and with a small boost of about 10-15 cm I actually managed to hold my entire body still in midair properly and soon enough I actually even managed to sit on them. It was pretty gratifying.

Then a crow shat on me and I had to go back and wash it off. :payne: It really soiled my experience (pun intended).

When I get the chance I'll probably take some water with me this weekend but with these weird cramps I'm having I'm not expecting much.
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