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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Oliver wrote:
Actually, has Rubia claimed that really weird crossover fic I put up yesterday?
If not, I might do it instead of the Apollo and Klavier dressing up fic.



:ron: Dressing up fic.....?
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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As Phoenix and Edgeworth.
Check one of my posts last page, there's a link there.
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Woah. You mean someone's actually taking the challenge of sporking Phoenix Drive? :pearlshock: And I thought I was done with that game a long time ago. . .

Nonetheless, I'm quite curious to see how that would pan out. Imagine the looks on their faces when they're forced to endure that piece of work.

Especially Phoenix's. :acro:
"Once you eliminate the impossible, what remains must be the truth. . . "

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Maya will probably have to spork it, and because of the nature of the game, we can probably expect Mia.
I can't wait to see HER reaction.
Especially to when, in PD of course, (Phoenix Drive, to hard to type on phone) Mia turns into Franziska.
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@GyakutenShaiban, I've only read the prologue and chapter 1 of your spork, and I agree with everything luck said. Especially the part about you skipping over way too much of the fic. Take your time to come up with things before you post.

luck wrote:
Really, we need to take control of the first post of the thread if that's somehow possible.


Drthingums (the original poster) did log on a month ago. I could always try to contact them to see what they say, or if they even reply at all. There's no harm in it, right? We could give them a list and they could copy and paste it, if they reply that is. And so we won't have to bug them everytime, we could give a link to another post that one of us has control over as a "second first post." Technically I think you could contact a mod too to update the first post but the thought of asking a mod always mildly frightens me... for some reason.
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They should frighten you! The mods are drunk with power! Drunk, I say! :larry:

I'm getting banned again, aren't I?
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Oliver wrote:
Especially to when, in PD of course, (Phoenix Drive, to hard to type on phone) Mia turns into Franziska.


"Mia turns into Fransiska"? Are you sure? I don't recall something that ever happening. . .

*thinks for a moment*

Nah, it's probably just my mind subconsciously blocking out all the traumatic memories that terrible game brought me. *sighs*

I have all but respect for you, Dr. Ocsid. Good luck with your spork. :goodman:
"Once you eliminate the impossible, what remains must be the truth. . . "

-Godot (Quoted from Sherlock Holmes)
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Rocket wrote:
Oliver wrote:
Especially to when, in PD of course, (Phoenix Drive, to hard to type on phone) Mia turns into Franziska.


"Mia turns into Fransiska"? Are you sure? I don't recall something that ever happening. . .

*thinks for a moment*

Nah, it's probably just my mind subconsciously blocking out all the traumatic memories that terrible game brought me. *sighs*

I have all but respect for you, Dr. Ocsid. Good luck with your spork. :goodman:

Mayhaps I should send you some PMs and make you relive that nightmare? :karma:
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Oliver wrote:
Mayhaps I should send you some PMs and make you relive that nightmare? :karma:


. . . and lose two years worth of therapy sessions? I love being able to sleep at night, thank you very much.
"Once you eliminate the impossible, what remains must be the truth. . . "

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You think you got it hard?
You know how old I was when I came across it? 11.
I will never get my innocence back. *pulls lollipop out of mouth for the sake of looking slightly cooler*
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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I was searching the kink meme and I found two fics shipping Manfred Von Karma and Miles Edgeworth. Here they are.

http://pw-kink-meme.dreamwidth.org/884. ... cmt1263732

http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/67435 ... d=25959275
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
I was searching the kink meme and I found two fics shipping Manfred Von Karma and Miles Edgeworth. Here they are.

http://pw-kink-meme.dreamwidth.org/884. ... cmt1263732

http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/67435 ... d=25959275

Now I'm having Manfred and Miles flashbacks.

...apparently it was deleted off of fanfiction.net, though. :larry:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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(Здраствуйтие. Itsa me! Rysiek. Yousa probably dinnae remember me :tigre: Well, what I wanted to ask... you have a fanfic for me to spork? I' ve been following this for quite some time. BTW, Aireyverkhonvenski, you write good fanfics! :will:
Got to many chars beginnin' with M here. Thats why Edgey must be a Fey. Too important and too beginning with an M not to be one.

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Ah, thanks!

And the fanfic list was just updated - most of them haven't been taken yet, so take your pick.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Sorry, but where is it again... wait were Everyone 420 Yolos made, already claimed? Or at least the very first oneshot with Edgey and Franziska? I already got a redeeming quality. It IS a trollfic. And the Godot x April chapter was rather funny.
Got to many chars beginnin' with M here. Thats why Edgey must be a Fey. Too important and too beginning with an M not to be one.

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Oliver wrote:
Actually, has Rubia claimed that really weird crossover fic I put up yesterday?
If not, I might do it instead of the Apollo and Klavier dressing up fic.

Hands off. It's mine now. >:P

I've already gone through two of the three chapters, but for several reasons, I might not make it in time before Halloween comes (running on PST over here). I suppose I can wait for Airey or Whatthewhat to post their Halloween delights.

Rysiek wrote:
Sorry, but where is it again... wait were Everyone 420 Yolos made, already claimed? Or at least the very first oneshot with Edgey and Franziska? I already got a redeeming quality. It IS a trollfic. And the Godot x April chapter was rather funny.

Checking through the list, I think Jettset27 was supposed to have taken it, but we're not sure if they're still on it. Maybe try a different fic until we hear from them.
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Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

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Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Rysiek wrote:
Sorry, but where is it again... wait were Everyone 420 Yolos made, already claimed? Or at least the very first oneshot with Edgey and Franziska? I already got a redeeming quality. It IS a trollfic. And the Godot x April chapter was rather funny.


Sorry, but where is it again? Wait, was Everyone 420 Yolos made, already claimed? Or atleast the very first oneshot with Edgey and Franziska? (I dont how what you mean so can't correct.) It IS a trollfic, and the Godot x April chapter wad rather funny.

Im sorry I couldn't help myself.

The Halloween fic SHOULD be done by tmorrow. Surprisingly I dont think I screwed up anyone's personality yet.

You actually called mine a delight. Stop making my day Rubia. :acro:
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Oliver wrote:
Actually, has Rubia claimed that really weird crossover fic I put up yesterday?
If not, I might do it instead of the Apollo and Klavier dressing up fic.

Hands off. It's mine now. >:P

I've already gone through two of the three chapters, but for several reasons, I might not make it in time before Halloween comes (running on PST over here). I suppose I can wait for Airey or Whatthewhat to post their Halloween delights.

*pouts*
Well... I'll make my own fic (...to spork) with blackjacks! And hookers!
And forget the lousy fan fiction!
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Last edited by Oliver on Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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With Prequel, I meant this Eldritch Abdomination
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10624695/1 ... olos-it-m8 :beef:
If I can take it, can I get it then? I hope I won't screw up much :payne:
Got to many chars beginnin' with M here. Thats why Edgey must be a Fey. Too important and too beginning with an M not to be one.

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Rysiek wrote:
With Prequel, I meant this Eldritch Abdomination
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10624695/1 ... olos-it-m8 :beef:
If I can take it, can I get it then? I hope I won't screw up much :payne:

If Jettset27 was supposed to take it... well, they haven't posted in the thread in a long time, so I think it's forfeit, personally...
Go for it if you really don't think you can handle a different fic, but I do agree with Rubia that it might be a better idea to hold off just in case.
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So what German words does Klavier usually use?
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Stirni and Fräulein. I ain't really far inAJ though. Preferred the trilogy.
Got to many chars beginnin' with M here. Thats why Edgey must be a Fey. Too important and too beginning with an M not to be one.

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I know Achtung, Ja and Fraulein, (Can someone help me find the proper symbols for those?) but what else is there?
And can I have a translation of what they mean?
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Ja is yes
A htung is Attention
Fräulein is Miss (and rarely used, since even the Judge calls Mia FRAU
Got to many chars beginnin' with M here. Thats why Edgey must be a Fey. Too important and too beginning with an M not to be one.

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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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@Oliver and Ryseik

Klavier saying "Achtung Baby" is a reference to the U2 album of the same name.
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Thanks guys!
Those are the main three words he uses, right?
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Nah, there should be round 2 or three thousand at least...
Got to many chars beginnin' with M here. Thats why Edgey must be a Fey. Too important and too beginning with an M not to be one.

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Oliver wrote:
Thanks guys!
Those are the main three words he uses, right?


Don't forget nein (no) and Herr (Mr.) and I think he said Bruder (brother) once too.

Also Fraulein is written as Fräulein. And while achtung does mean attention, I don't think the localization team really thought that's what is was, since when Klavier uses it most of the time, "attention" doesn't make much sense when translated. So make of that what you will. In the games Klavier mostly uses it when he's surprised or humored. And also to reference U2's album, of course.
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Remember Phoenix Wright: Goffik Attorney.. Cuteyounggirlplus sporked the first chapter. And now I'm going to spork the second one because it was bothering me. I don't think it's necessary to rate it again, so I'll cut to the chase.


Today's sporkers are...

:nick: Phoenix Wright!
"What exactly is a goffik attorney?"

:maya: Maya Fey!
"At least it doesn't sound NSFW."

and...

:edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth!
"Can't I be spared of at least one of these fics? One! It's all I'm asking."

[We open up in the sporking theatre, where our sporkers are already seated. And the lights dim.]

Phoenix: Already!?

Maya: You're not even going to say hi, Management?

Speakers: No.

Maya:That's really impolite of you!

Edgeworth: The fic will probably get enough on my nerves without the Management's 'niceties', so I won't complain.

Quote:
AN: Thx 4 readin! Dis chapter is gunna git real!


Maya: You're welcome!

Phoenix: Not that we'll be here if we could help it.

Edgeworth: We're only in the author notes and the spelling is already hurting my brain.

Phoenix: You know is probably going to get worse, right?

Edgeworth: You don't need to remind me.

Quote:
We walked into the court and stood on our side of the room. I breathed hard. Peole were watching from da crowd.


Maya: Only two misspelled words? Is a bad thing that I'm disappointed?

Edgeworth: Yes.

Quote:
Their was some guy stadning across from us who tried to look tuff. He had a bright red pleather jacket with a bunchof spykes in it with a Sum 41 tshirt on. He had skin tight jeanz and white platform shows with a gary mokhawk.


Phoenix: Is that...a prosecutor?

Edgeworth: I normally don't require the prosecutors under me to adhere to a dress code, but this man is an offense to the sense of sight.

Maya: Don't be so hard on him. He's only trying to look 'tuff'. Whatever that means.

Phoenix: It apparently involves wearing pleather jackets. Or maybe leather jackets. I'm not sure if it was misspelling or not. I don't know anything about this 'tuff' culture. What about you, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Do I look tuff to you?

Phoenix: Considering what we've seen in the fic, I'm gonna say 'No'.

Quote:
Tha joodge looked like santa except he was buff and wore a black tank top showig off his muscles and tatoes. He had a shinee bald head and a long wheit beard with thick rimmd glass and perced eyebrow.


Maya: But this guy doesn't look like Santa at all!

Edgeworth: Nor the judge, for that matter.

Phoenix: Nor anyone that would be allowed into a court of law.

Maya: I don't know about that. We've deal with pretty weird people in the courtroom.

Phoenix: But not as the judge.

Quote:
he was kinda hot, but ew that's a gross not like I like old santa class like men.


Phoenix: I'd point out the contradiction in that statement but...it's just not worth it.

Quote:
Im not gay btw, im bi. Theirs a diffrence.


Edgeworth: It isn't your sexuality what deserves being questioned, Fic-Wright, but your taste.

Quote:
"Hallo rookie, I am wince pain ready to bring …...…THE PAIN !"


Edgeworth: So the prosecutor is Winston Payne? Or a cheap version of him who enjoys cheaps puns.

Maya: Wait...His name sounds like wince in pain! *inmature laughter*

Phoenix: I never thought that there could be a cheaper version of that man. Then I met his brother.

Quote:
"Whatevr" I sed pissily.

"Don't worry about him hes a poser to da max" mia said. "Hes not goffick at all"

"Oh okay"


Edgeworth: Why is that relevant, Ms. Fey?

Maya: Beisdes, Fic-Nick didn't look worried at all!

Phoenix: I,on the other hand, am worried that I might never be able to get the images of Payne with a mohawk and the judge wearing a tank top out of my mind.

Quote:
"Mr. right?" bombed the voyce from the joodge.

"Y-yessir?" i squished back


Edgeworth: I let it slide the first time, but that's too much unfortunate spellings in a row.

Phoenix: I don't think fortune had a hand in this, Edgeworth.

Quote:
"This is your frst trail yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Okay are you ready cause I diont want to deal wiff bumfuckery in my court"


Phoenix: This is starting to look like my first trial as if it had been written by a particularly foul-mouthed toddler.

Edgeworth: Or a particularly illiterate adult.

Maya: Or a particularly bored troll.

Phoenix: It could be any of the three.

Quote:
"I think Im set" I said as I stared to sweat blood.


Maya: Jeez, Nick, you should get that checked.

Phoenix: Maybe it's a 'goff' thing?

Maya: But vampires are supposed to suck blood, not sweat it.

Edgeworth: So now goffs are vampires?

Phoenix: More like vampire wannabes.

Quote:
"Kay then who was cilled, how were they cilled and whoss on trale?"


Edgeworth: One thing is forget to proofread, but writing 'cilled' instead of 'killed' twice? Who does that?

Phoenix: We still have three options. And all of them are equally plausible.

Quote:
"Uh…"

Mia smacked me. "Pheonicks! Dint you check the courtrecord?!"

"The fuck is a courtrecord?! I never listned to that cd before."

She groaned nd not in the sexi way. "No, dumass it's were we get the facts from in a case!"


Maya: Fic-Nick doesn't even know what is the court record? This didn't really happen in your first trial, right?

Phoenix: Well, actually...

Edgeworth: Of course.

Phoenix: I was nervous, okay!?

Quote:
"Oh" I decided I had better check it. I found a giant folder that sed COURT RECORD on it nd opened it. It had a bunch of info in it thet looked important so I looked at it fr a second sine I have a photographic memory


Edgeworth: So it's true? You haven't looked at the court record once? Whoever is your client should be firing you this instant.

Phoenix: It's probably Larry.

Edgeworth: Then I guess he doesn't have a choice.

Quote:
"Well?" hissed the joodge as he lit up a cigerate.


Edgeworth: Smoking is not allowed in the courtroom. This man should be charged with contempt of court.

Maya: But he's the judge.

Edgeworth: Then he should be fired. Just like that one in Law plus Chaos.

Phoenix: I don't think that one got fired in the end.

Edgeworth: To the bawl of all the decent people in the world.

Quote:
"The vitctim is lawtifah bon qui qui Johnson she was killed wuth a knife and my clientelee is Laury Butters."


Maya: When something smells, it's usually the butter. Nah, it doesn't have the same ring to it.

Edgeworth: For once the misspelled version is less embarrassing than the correct one.

Phoenix: I'm not sure. Larry + Butz + Butter doesn't sound very well.

Edgeworth: Why would you even say that, Wright? Why do you want to make the fic worse than it is? What are you trying to accomplish?

Phoenix: It's just a mental reflex, Edgeworth. You should be used to it by now.

Quote:
"Kay good. Mr. pain your stats?"


Maya: Hmm...Considering he's the first boss, I'd say 60 HP, 15 Attack and 30 Defense.

Phoenix: And 0 presence. Don't forget that.

Quote:
Pain laughed like a dolphin.


Phoenix: Well, that's a sentence I don't think I'll be able to forget.

Edgeworth: None of us will, Wright, none of us will.

Quote:
"Its easy the defendant stabbed her"

"Really? Fuking murdere!" screamed the jodge. "He should fry! Fry!"


Phoenix: So the judge is planning to force Larry either to fry himself or to cook.

Maya: That's actually a good idea! We should force the murderer to cook for us after trials.

Edgeworth: I'm thankful that you aren't in charge of a prison.

Maya: Hey, I can't be worse than the government in the hellspawn.

Edgeworth: Of course. Nobody can.

Quote:
"Objextion!" I spat. "He didn't do it!"

"Well I cant argue wiff that." Said the jodge putting out his cigarete on his head.


Maya: Jeez, fic-judge is even more suggestible than the real one.

Phoenix: Did he just...put his cigarette on his head?

Quote:
"I have disive edidence that will prove the defendant did it!"


Phoenix: Wait, it's fic-me who's talking here?

Edgeworth: Either he's even more dense than we assumed or the author forgot to address Payne.

Quote:
"Then lets have it I don't have all day I have to watch my por- I mean movies"


Edgeworth: Watching movies isn't a reason to rush trials, whether they are X-rated or not.

Phoenix: That's the part you have a problem with!?

Edgeworth: I normally don't mind what people do in their spare time, but unprofessional behavior in court is not tolerable.

Phoenix: Why do you look at me when you say that!?

Quote:
"The prosecution would like to call the dafendant to stand!" laughed pain minutely.


Phoenix: Minutely? How do you laugh minutely?

Edgeworth: I think it's technically possible, but not something that someone would actually do.

Maya: Fic-Payne sure has a good collection of strange ways to laugh.

Quote:
Within secs Lurry was standing at the stand in front of the whole corut.

"Mr. But? How long did you see miss johnson"

"A few months"

"Did you know she was fking another guy behnd your back?"

"WHAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo" he cryed crying miazaki tears. "IF SHE WASNT DED I'LL KILL HER MYSELF"


Edgeworth: Why does he accepts what Payne says as fact if he hasn't showed any proof?

Phoenix: Well, it's Larry we're talking about. Although he'd never threaten to kill anyone.

Edgeworth: But that pretty much confirmed that he didn't knew about Ms. Johnson's affair. How could the prosecution use that as a motive?

Phoenix: Because everyone is biased against the defense.

Maya: You bet.

Edgeworth: It's not a bias. It's simply adopting the most logic position according to the evidence available.

Quote:
The courtroom gaped.

Larry began cutting himself on da stand.


Phoenix: I know that Larry tends to overreact, but this is ridiculous.

Edgeworth: On par with the rest of the fic.

Phoenix: Touche.

Quote:
"Infection!" I yelled pointing at pain.


Phoenix: Well, that's just insulting.

Quote:
"This isnt about da murder at all"

"Yeah." said the joodge. "This isnt devisie"

Pain grunted. "Fine. "

"Hes bery emotional" said mia.

I sighed. "I know. thats why theres no way he could doit"


Edgeworth: That reasoning doesn't follow. If that's how you decide whether people are guilty or not, I can't see why you're surprised that everyone is against the defense.

Phoenix: So you admit it!

Quote:
"Okay, well you were at the appartment. We have a witness who can show you were there at the time of the murdre!"

The court was alive.


Phoenix: What.

Maya: So that's why the judge wanted to fry Larry! He has to feed the court to keep it alive!

Phoenix: What.

Quote:
The joodge banged his gavel. "Call the witness den!"

Larry left still stifling and bleeding.


Edgeworth: The bailiff should have intervened long ago.

Phoenix: Why do you keep expecting logic here?

Edgeworth: For the same reason you keep telling dirty jokes, Wright. It keeps me sane.

Quote:
And some other smiliy loking guy in a majenta suit got on the stand.

"State your name and professionalisticalism." said pain.

"Im Stew Seamen and I sell knives"


All: ...

Phoenix: I hope his name doesn't get misspelled.

Edgeworth: There you go again.

Quote:
"Your testimony puleeze."

Witness Testimony
I went door to door looking for costomers.
I saw that guy walking outta room.
When I got there the door was opend sorta so i knocled
And omg I saw a dead gurl lying dere in blood
I tred to call the policia but the phones were dead
I ran out to call them


Edgeworth: This has to be the worst testimony I've ever seen, and I've seen lots of awful testimonies.

Phoenix: Well, I think it makes to the top 10 at least.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: What? I have to deal with a lot of nonsense in court.

Edgeworth: You're telling me.

Quote:
"You can crisscross examine the wintess, defense." said the joodge bored.


Phoenix: How do you criscross examine a witness?

Maya: Playing Criss Cross, obviously. Wouldn't it be cool if the verdicts could be decided with a game of Criss Cross between the prosecutor and the defense attorney?

Edgeworth: No, it wouldn't.

Maya: I was kidding, Mr. Edgeworth!

Edgeworth: This isn't a laughing matter.

Maya: Are you still mad about that fic with the chess game and...

Edgeworth: Don't mention that in my presence.

Quote:
"Um okay" I said not knowing what to do.

Mia explined. "You need to find his lies and throw evidence at it"

"Oh my i didnt know he lied"

"Unless Loarry did it he is"

"Oh shit" i had to do for it larry!


Edgeworth: Aside from the language, you're still in character.

Phoenix: It was my first day, okay!?

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: ...

Maya: ...

Phoenix: So...what do you think Mia means by 'throwing evidence at it'.

Maya: Maybe he thinks Mr. Seamen doesn't qualify as human and wants you to throw things at him.

Edgeworth: Either that or it's a misplaced metaphor about throwing evidence at the lies.

Quote:
Cross Eximinition

I went door to door looking for costomers.


Phoenix: I didn't say anything before but... isn't it kind of weird to sell knives door to door?

Maya: Yeah, you wouldn't know if he's showing his product or threatening you.

Phoenix: I guess that's a way to guarantee sales.

Quote:
I saw that guy walking outta room.

When I got there the door was opend sorta so i knocled

And omg I saw a dead gurl lying dere in blood-

"HOLD IT" I screamed. "Did u c any weapon around?"

"No, nothing besides some knife"


Edgeworth: Mr. Seamen, a knife is a weapon. Therefore, the answer to the question 'Did u c any weapon around?' should be 'Yes'.

Phoenix: You're expecting too much of someone who states 'And omg I saw a dead gurl lying dere in blood' as a formal testimony.

Edgeworth: I'm well aware, Wright.

Quote:
"OBJECTION!1" I got him. Lying fucker! "There was no knife at the crime scene bitch!"

He jumped causing his hair to jimp witt him. "But- but she was stabbed! Right?"

The judge took out his flask and took a swig. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm true but it doesnt explain how you saw a knife wehn there was none found"


Maya: I don't think I can follow this logic anymore, guys.

Edgeworth: Good. Otherwise you could have ended up in a mental institution.

Phoenix: Where did that flask come from?


Quote:
Pain was sweating mking his mascara drip everywhere. "He heard it in here! Yeah!"

"Oh okay that makes sense sed the joodge


Edgeworth: I'd say it doesn't, but nothing here does, so I won't.

Phoenix: And yet, you've just said it.

Quote:
"Dammit" i said. "Well what did you really see?"

Seaman began

I saw an ugly paperwait nearby in blood

"Hold it! This peice of junk?" i held up the gray stateu thing.

"Yeah! that thing..."

"Okay im getting bored mr rite this witness doesnt seem to know shit so if you cant give us something to talk about im going home"


Edgeworth: You're a judge. For the sake of justice, you mustn't go home until a proper verdict is reached!

Phoenix: You're taking this way too seriously.

Maya: In fic-judge's defense, I'm getting bored, too.

Quote:
"Oh noess!" i cryed. I am so close i can feel it

"Think outside the circle phenix!"


Maya: Circle? It was a box, right?

Edgeworth: Then this is a quite unoriginal parody.

Phoenix: Author, if you're going to write a fic just for the sake of mocking me, at least put some effort into it!

Quote:
"What?"

"I dont know i make shit up and thats how i win my cases"

"Oh okay"


Edgeworth: Barring the language, it's a quite accurate description of your method.

Phoenix: Why are you picking on me now?

Edgeworth: It was you who told me not to take this so seriously.

Phoenix: So the only time you aren't serious is when you are making fun of me!?

Maya: Why do you seem surprised, Nick?

Quote:
I was sweatin blud proficiently. I needed something...anything...

"fuck this desperate house wives is one i declare the defendat g-"


Maya: So what's the judge trying to say? Any bets?

Phoenix: I'm not going to touch that sentence with a ten-foot pole.

Edgeworth: I don't think you can sweat proficiently. Especially not blood.

Quote:
"HOLD UP!" i yeled. "Mr. Seaman! you said something bery intersting erlier."

"What...?"

"You sell knives! That's why we couldint find da murder weapon!"

"NOOooooooo that's ridiculous!"


Edgeworth: My thoughts exactly.

Phoenix: Dramatic 'Noooo' included?

Edgeworth: Sadly, yes. There's so much balderdash I can take per day.

Quote:
"Yeah! Why would he kill her?!" Pain whined


Maya: But nobody is suggesting that! Nick is just saying that the reason they didn't found a knife but the witness saw one is because he sells them!

Phoenix: I thought it was impossible, but it sounds even more stupid when said aloud.

Quote:
"Uh, because she wouldnt...buy them!" I rmembered the random useless shit in the courtrecord. "she was goin to paris, so why would she need knives?! Plus it was durk since da paower was out so u took advantage of dat by killin ger!"


Edgeworth: I'm not sure which part is more absurd, the motive, or the reasoning that led you to it.

Quote:
The whole courtroom was in awe.


Phoenix: I guess that's a way to put it.

Quote:
Mr. Seaman was foaming white at the mouth. Ew. "I DiNT DO IT! ITS COINCIDENE I DINT DO ITTTTT!" he moaned flingin his here in my face.


Phoenix: What is he doing just now!?

Maya: I don't like the sound of it.

Edgeworth: Let's hope it's just a series of unfortunate misspellings.

Quote:
"EWWWWWW! NASTAH YOUR LUCKY WERE ALREDY IN COURT OR ID FUCK YOU UP"

The joodge banged the gavel.

"Okay ive seen enuff. The defenadt is...

To be continuedddd!


Edgeworth: That's one gratuitous cliffhanger if I've ever seen one.

Phoenix: C'mon, don't tell me that there's more of this.

Speakers: Actually, there isn't. The fic hasn't been updated since 2013.

Maya: Fanfiction writers are merciful for once!

Edgeworth: The Management, on the other hand...

Speakers: We can hear you.

Edgeworth: I am aware.

Speakers: Now get out. It's time to clean this place.

[And so, our sporkers are pushed out for once, and the robotic cleaning ladies begin their labor.]
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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I read
Quote:
Phoenix: Maybe it's a 'goff' thing?
as "Maybe it's a golf thing?"
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Avatars are for less anxious people.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2015 7:20 pm

Posts: 171

@luck Thanks for doing the last chapter. That was great!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Athena's Punishment sporking, part 2! Ah, pretty much the final part unless the author updates and someone else in this thread wants to take it, because I'm done with this fic.

This is a co-spork with Oliver!

[We continue where we left off. Apollo and Phoenix has just replaced Juniper's spot in Athena's punishment sporking. And now…]

Apollo: Is it just me, or is it darker than usual in here?

Blackquill: It isn't just you, Justice-dono. I couldn't even see you, but could immediately tell it was you when I heard your irksome voice.

Apollo: H-Hey!

Phoenix: So… what is this fic about…?

Athena: *sweats* Oh, uh, well… You see, it's rather-

[Suddenly, another white light encases the room, and Athena is… gone.]

Phoenix: H-Huh? Where did Athena go?

Blackquill: Hmm, it seems she got transported out.

Apollo: But this is her punishment, right?

Speakers: Hey, what gives? What idiot just teleported Athena out? Err, Athena was scheduled for that re-sporking of the Neko- Wasn't that supposed to be tomorrow!? Oh hey, you're right! I thought today was- I don't care what you thought! Ugh, I'll deal with you later. Ahem, so, uh, sporkers. The fic is short, so Athena should be back in a few minutes. Sorry for the inconvenience…

All: …

Phoenix …"Re-sporking?"

Blackquill: That's what you gather from that?

Phoenix: I don't like the sound of that… Is the management going to have us spork fics that we already did before?

Apollo: They better not. I don't want to read about being a horse again!

Phoenix: Maybe with Discord you'll be a horse.

Apollo: D-Don't give the management any ideas, Mr. Wright!

Blackquill: …What?

Phoenix & Apollo: N-Nothing.

Blackquill: …Right. Wright-dono, didn't you ask what this fanfiction was about?

Phoenix: Oh yeah… But I don't really want to know, honestly.

Blackquill: Hmph. Only an imbecile like you would bluff your way through this.

Phoenix: That doesn't make much sense… (I think he's losing his touch with these insults.)

Blackquill: This farce is about Athena working at a strip-club-

Phoenix: W-What!?

Blackquill: -and you are a regular costumer there.

Phoenix: …

Apollo: (Nice to see something like this happen to Mr. Wright instead of me, for once.)

Blackquill: And in the last chapter you two-

Phoenix: Stop! I don't want to hear anymore! W-What is the author thinking? An eighteen year old and a thirty-four year old?

Blackquill: Obviously, you two are just being used so that the author is able to indulge in their sick fantasies.

Phoenix: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Blackquill: …

Phoenix: …

Apollo: …

Phoenix: So, uh, how's life out of prison, Prose-

Blackquill: I'm not in the mood for idle chitchat.

Phoenix: …

Apollo: (This sure isn't awkward at all…)

[Crickets.]

Apollo: You're not making things any better, narrator.

[Sorry… Say, the management should get a button that has crickets' sound effects!]

Phoenix: No, they shouldn't.

[Well, excuse me for trying to have some action around here!]

Taka: ٩(╬ఠ༬ఠ)و

Blackquill: If you would like, Taka can provide some entertainment. The kind of entertainment that he provided in the courtroom.

Apollo: ! We're good! Right, narrator?

[This is awfully tempting… Hmm… Oh uh, a bright light envelopes the room once more, and Athena is back in her seat.]

Athena: Darn it, I was almost free! I actually managed to get to the parking lot too…

Phoenix: (I have to ask…) What did you spork?

Athena: Me? Oh, it was some dumb fic with this pile of glitter as the prosecutor.

Phoenix: Glitter? That doesn't sound familiar…

Athena: Yeah, her name was NEKOJESSICA.

Phoenix: …Wait a minute, did she enter the courtroom by exploding the prosecutor's desk?

Athena: Yeah, she did!

Phoenix: Oh boy…

Blackquill: What are you two mumbling about? The fic is already on the screen.

Spoiler: Chapter 3
Quote:
Chapter 3

It's not that he lets her go.

It's that she runs off the first chance she can. Vision blurring, the flow of her blood quickly drowning out other sounds. The constant pulse. One-two-one-two-one-two.

Where she is no longer registers to her. Trying to get out, where did she leave everything oh god where did she leave Widget he's important


Blackquill: After everything that just happened… you're more concerned about your necklace?

Athena: Hey, Widget is important! And he's more than just a necklace!

Widget: You tell him, Athena!

Apollo: (Okayy…)

Phoenix: Is it just me, or is there something weird going on with those commas in the last sentence?

Apollo: I guess you would be out of breath if you read it out loud…

Quote:
why did she do this why did she think it would work out WHY.


Phoenix: I think the author's "comma" key broke on their keyboard…

Apollo: Since when do you complain about stuff like that?

Phoenix: Somebody has to do it.

Athena: Who said it was going to work out?

Blackquill: Wright-dono did.

Phoenix: Of course fic-me would do something like that!

Quote:
A slight taste of acid rises in Athena's throat. Desperately, she swallows, trying to keep herself from losing any small shred of composure she has left.


Apollo: I'm amazed that you still have any composure after you did that with him.

Phoenix: …Why did you add that emphasis there? What was that supposed to mean?

Athena: H-He was probably just referring to our age difference, Boss.

Phoenix: Are you sure?

Apollo: …

Phoenix: Apollo?

Apollo: It's whatever you want to take it as, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: …

Quote:
It's not working. Trembling violently, tears seeping out of her eyes, feeling so horribly ill and unable to focus-
It's a miracle she can find where her things are, even. Backstage. Small locker. Widget is there.

Her neck is no longer bare. She is no longer Aphrodite.


Blackquill: That's your foolproof disguise? You only discarded your necklace!

Athena: Widget is more than just a necklace!

Widget: Yeah, you big meanie!

Athena: And I'm almost never seen without him; it's no wonder why people won't recognize me!

Apollo: Wow, what a fascinating disguise.

Athena: See?

Phoenix: …He was being sarcastic.

Athena: I knew that!

All: …

Quote:
But she feels so disgusting, she is disgusting. She did this, this, willingly. With her own boss. She wanted to do this. She enjoyed it while it was happening, even. Possibly. Probably. Of course she did. She loved the experience.


Apollo: Woah, way too much information!

Blackquill: I hope you jest. If you honestly believe that this is too much information then you should've been forced to undergo the last two chapters!

Taka: (; ・`д・´)

Phoenix: Yeah, Apollo. You've been here more times than Prosecutor Blackquill, and yet he knows more than you!

Apollo: Why is everyone getting mad at me!? I just didn't want to imagine the thought of… of… *glances at Phoenix* Never mind…

Quote:
And from what little she can make out...

He's a good lay, right? Of course he was.

...Can't believe you were lucky enough to get him on your last day...

...Amazing, right? First time that happened, I...


Hearing these offhand comments only add to the stress.


Athena: How do they know that I got him?

Blackquill: You must've told them.

Athena: Why? If you haven't noticed, fic-me is very stressed out and wants to go home!

Blackquill: …Then perhaps they were spying on you.

Athena: ! Simon… don't say things like that!

Blackquill: Hmph. Next time, learn not to ask.

Apollo: Wait a minute! Why are all those… girls talking about Mr. Wright like that?

Blackquill: Did you not listen when I told you that Wright-dono is a regular there?

Apollo: Yeah, but is he like… a favorite or something?

Athena: According to everyone who works there, he is…

Phoenix: …

Quote:
Have to leave. Now. Avoid him if he's still here. Get home. Forget this. Hope he forgets it. Get out, get out get out getoutgetoutgetout...

She doesn't know what happens after this.

Everything feels like she blacked out.


Phoenix: Oh, so it only feels like she blacked out? Thanks for the info, author.

Apollo: I feel like that could've been phrased better…

Blackquill: Pray tell, what could've been a better way to phrase that?

Phoenix: Well… they could've said, um, that-

Blackquill: You two are picking on such insignificant things when you couldn't even think of anything better yourself!

Athena: Heh. You walked right into that one, Boss.

Phoenix: So did Apollo, but no one's yelling at him.

Apollo: Hey, now you know how I feel!

Quote:
She's outside-Outside? Of course she is, finally outside, rushing behind the club, taking in the smell of cigarette smoke, this is wrong, disgusting, she's wrong in so many ways...


Athena: Do they have to keep saying that? This fic really isn't good for my self-esteem…

Blackquill: What do you expect? When someone writes a story about you being a stripper, you can't possibly think that they have much respect for you.

Apollo: You can't forget the fact that she had to please a person much older than her who is her boss.

Phoenix: You know, during this sporking… I feel like you've been trying to say something about me, Apollo.

Apollo: So what, you don't trust me?

Phoenix: Now you're just putting words in my mouth.

Apollo: You were doing the same thing!

[Athena throws up everything inside her, we all know what that is, and proceeds to go home.]

Blackquill: Oh look, a cut summary.

Phoenix: But that "we all know what that is" part isn't really necessary.

Apollo: This author just loves to give us these… disgusting images.

Athena: At least fic-me is going home…

[Athena can't sleep and wants to forget everything that happened. The chapter ends with her falling asleep where she can forget for a while.]

Phoenix: That's it? The management sure got lazy in the end…

Speakers: What can we say? It was boring, so we want to move on to the fun stuff. Your reactions have been pretty boring, too.

Apollo: Oh goody, I can't wait to read more.

Speakers: I thought you'd say that! So because you're all so excited, we'll go on to the next chapter without giving you a break!

Athena: Gee, thanks Apollo.

Taka: 凸(`0´)凸

Blackquill: I see Justice-dono hasn't learned to keep his mouth shut yet… Perhaps you should get some tutoring with Taka.

Apollo: Oh come on! (Why am I always everyone's personal chew toy?)

Phoenix: Don't worry Apollo; the management wouldn’t have given us a break anyway.

Apollo: ! Th-Thanks, Mr. Wright.


Speakers: Ahem, let's get started.

Spoiler: Chapter 4
Quote:
"I-I'm sorry, I have to, ah, well, I...I-I should go!"


Apollo: What's with the random italics?

Blackquill: Tch, do you think the author would bring that up?

Apollo: No-

Blackquill: Then why did you ask?

Quote:
It's barely been five minutes, and she's tearing out the door, obviously ready to head home for the night. To leave the club for the last time and not have to stay there for money. She hasn't even been here that long, anyway, only working here after the incident in Nine-Tails Vale...


Phoenix: W-Wait... So apparently you started working there right after you came to this country?

Athena: A-Apparently...

Quote:
She's only eighteen, only two years older than his own daughter.


Phoenix: Is this... trying to imply something?

Apollo: Um, yeah. It's saying that fic-you is willing to bang anything, even someone so close to Trucy's age.

Blackquill: I hope little miss Wright-dono doesn't invite her friends over often.

Phoenix: Wh-Wh-Whaaa? I would never...!

Blackquill: Relax, it was only a friendly joke.

Phoenix: A friendly joke!?

Athena: Simon, you know not everybody likes your jokes.

Blackquill: Hmph. Then they need a more dilute sense of humor.

Quote:
And in the heat of the moment, she insisted the sex was okay. And in the heat of the moment, he agreed. Yes, it was okay. But it wasn't, not after the way she just left. She isn't okay.


Athena: W-What do you mean? O-Of course it's okay to leave!

Quote:
But she is his protégé, and they're going to be in the same office once again the next morning. Not a pleasant thought at all.


Apollo: Maybe you should have thought about that before you went and had sex with him.

Blackquill: Justice-dono has a point.

Athena: H-Hey! That wasn't me! It was fic-me!

Apollo: We never said it was you. Are you feeling okay, Athena?

Athena: I-I'm fine!

Apollo: Well, if you say so.

Quote:
He's still here in the moment, taking in what they just did.


Phoenix: How would she know what I'm doing? Didn't it just say she left?

Blackquill: Is it not possible she's simply guessing?

Phoenix: Well... I guess.

Quote:
If only it hadn't been her. If only they could forget this ever happened. But they can't. And deep down...

Deep down, they both blame themselves. He blames himself for this, because he didn't stop her. He could have stopped her before she started this entire thing.


Phoenix and Athena: ...

Quote:
And what's worse, he enjoyed that.


Phoenix: I-I would never enjoy that!

Blackquill: Can you say that with a straight face?

Phoenix: ...

Taka: ⋋〳 ・ ਊ ・ 〵⋌

Athena: S-Simon!

Blackquill: Hmph, I was simply having a jest.

Athena: What did I say before?

Blackquill: Tch.

Quote:
This isn't something that's going to be resolved tonight, however, and he leaves the VIP room without a word.


Athena: So if he leaves, that means this ends, right?

Phoenix: *mumbles* What makes you think we'd be that lucky?

Quote:
Because they did this willingly.


Apollo: How many times have they said that now?

Phoenix: Too many times. Far too many.

Quote:
---

He sees her outside, but she doesn't notice him.


Athena: So... Is the boss-

Phoenix: Objection! F-Fic-boss you mean.

Athena: Sorry... So is the fic-boss going to stalk fic-me now?

Blackquill: Don't give the author ideas.

Taka: ( #`⌂´)/┌┛

Quote:
Her posture is slumped, her breaths heavy and incredibly audible. Heaving gasps, one after the other, trying to get rid of the guilt she's feeling.

She lets out a quick cough, then suddenly recoils back. Leaning forward...


Apollo: I get the feeling it's not because of the guilt she's doing that...

Phoenix: You're right. It seems more like she's sick than anything.

Blackquill: Sick from-

Athena: Simon!

Quote:
He looks away, but it's clear she just coughed out everything that was previously in her stomach.


Phoenix: We already knew that from the previous chapter... And how can you "cough" up stuff in your stomach?

Blackquill: Hmm, it must be that her stomach is in her throat.

Apollo: Did you have to say that!? It's a disturbing image!

Blackquill: Blame the author.

Quote:
This really is his fault.


Apollo: Yes, yes it is. Now stop saying that every two sentences, I beg of you.

Phoenix: I feel that having the same scene in different POV's isn't very efficient.

Athena: It can be. But not in this situation...

Quote:
Once again, her age comes to mind. She's still young, and what she was doing here was decidedly illegal. Whatever she was doing, they both needed to find a way out of this one.


Apollo: She's eighteen, it's not illegal at all.

Blackquill: Perhaps the author meant it was frowned upon?

Apollo: Maybe...

Quote:
She had started her career for a reason, and whatever she was trying to do...

She has to do it. And this would keep her far from her goals.


Apollo: From what goal? To be the best stripper the world has ever seen?

Athena: Apollo!

Apollo: I meant fic-you!

Quote:
Athena...

...You're going to be okay.

You shouldn't feel guilty. We're both at fault here.

We don't have to let this go anywhere. I'd prefer it didn't.

But...You shouldn't feel guilty for this.


Athena: W-Wait... So it's finally over?


[The lights come back on.]

Athena: Y-Yes! Finally! *she dashes outside straight away*

Phoenix: She really wanted to get out, didn't she?

Apollo: I think you do too, you should see yourself.

[And so the two of them leave, leaving Blackquill on his own.]

Taka: *screech* ٩(๑`ȏ´๑)۶

[Oh, and uh, Taka.]

Blackquill: I suppose I should be going.

[And so he leaves, ending Athena Cykes punishment sporking.]

Speakers: Hmm... Maybe this was a bit too tame...

Last edited by Skittlemask on Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Just so you guys know, I sporked chapter 4 instead of 3.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Good sporking. I don't really think stripping is shameful but it is still a good sporking. I like Blackquill's characterization, too.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
I like Blackquill's characterization, too.

Blackquill's character was all Skittle.
Whenever I did him (Oh my.) he came out too normal.


Yes, I made this post just so I can say "I did Blackquill" (Oh my.)
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Both sporkings were really good!
But since there were two of them, I don't have the attention span to give either of them a proper review. So I'll just leave it at really good.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Both sporkings were really good

I think that's a good enough review.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Apologize to the funyarinpa!

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Oliver wrote:
cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
I like Blackquill's characterization, too.

Blackquill's character was all Skittle.
Whenever I did him (Oh my.) he came out too normal.


Hey, he wasn't all me. Sure, maybe the first part that was on my blog... but after I gave you that one piece of advice, you wrote him much better! :simon:

Luck, that was great! You really have improved a lot. Phoenix and Maya were really funny here, especially Phoenix. For some reason, your sporking reminded me of the old style that was used at the beginning of the thread and on the back-up forums, which is really refreshing.

luck wrote:
Phoenix: I,on the other hand, am worried that I might never be able to get the images of Payne with a mohawk and the judge wearing a tank top out of my mind.


...I want to draw this so bad. But I'm old-fashioned and do everything with pencil and paper. Also, I'm really out of practice...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Skittlemask wrote:
luck wrote:
Phoenix: I,on the other hand, am worried that I might never be able to get the images of Payne with a mohawk and the judge wearing a tank top out of my mind.


...I want to draw this so bad. But I'm old-fashioned and do everything with pencil and paper. Also, I'm really out of practice...

You won't have to, there'll be a huge plot twist in GS6, Gaspen is Winston from the past who was evil and then he went to Kurain and started wearing that crown to cover his mohawk.

Canon. Completely canon.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Would anyone mind looking at a specific part of my sporking?
I'm not sure if I should keep it in or not.
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