True love is forever.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am
I rather agree with General Luigi that this could more details. You have a good start, but it's going to feel more real to your readers if they can picture everything and almost be there to see this playing out. This actually plays a particularly important part in writing romance in my opinion (You had to know that this was going to get to that point ^_^). You've handled Godot's state of mind pretty well, having him so caught up in revenge that he isn't even considering whether or not what he's doing is truly "right." Nothing matters, but beating "Trite." It might not hurt to have a friend do a grammar check for you as well. Your mistakes aren't atrocious, but they can get in the way. Overall, I'd say it has promise.
Now, you asked me to give you advise on writing romance, for which I am very honored. I only hope that I can actually help. I'll tell you a few general things that I generally keep in mind when I work on a romance based fic. After that, if you have questions then you can either post them here or PM me. Unfortunately, I can't simply give you a prompt on how to write a fic because every writer does so differently and it's impossible for me to know how you intend to write this nor is there a "right way." I can only tell you what I try to keep in mind.
The first point to remember is that you're going to have to pick what person you're going to write in during the story. In this fic, you're in the first person, taking the place of Godot. Now, if you're the most comfortable in the first person, then you can certainly continue to write in it no matter the type of fic, but you should remember that, in that case, you can only descibe the thoughts of one character (And in romance, you always have at least two important characters. There's no romance with only one person. :P) With the third person, you can play the narrator and handle both characters because "you" are not in the story, but the narrator instead. Still, I've seen some good romance fics done in the first person, so you certainly can do so that way. You would simply handle the other character through physical description. "And he walked up to me and took me in his arms." So on and so forth. I've never found mixing them to work well, but you can try if you wish.
The next thing that I find important is not to rush things (Or at least try not to rush things. I think that everyone's fallen victim to that temptation at least once and I'm no exception). I've seen way too many romance fics which have two characters that have never shown any interest in one another end up in each others arms without any real reason or back story. Particularly in the case of something like Phoenix and Franziska, where their relationship is a bit antagonistic, that might be something to watch out for. Unless you intend to have them start off in a relationship, having them kissing early on might be a bad thing. And you will need to provide some back story if you wish to have them in a relationship at the start. Franziska can be rather stubborn and, even if she has feelings for Phoenix, it's unlikely that she's going to want to admit such a thing. Instead though, you can have her slowly start to notice her feelings as things go on until she can no longer deny it, first to herself and later to Phoenix. For example, a physical and/or emotional reaction to Phoenix's accidental touch (which would probably end in her threatening him with her whip :P) or a pleasant feeling while he's nearby which disappears when he leaves. On Phoenix's part, the actual admission of romance is probably a bit easier because he doesn't tend to be quite so hostile to her. He's just more likely to be that any feelings are not returned, although you can write him any way you see fit. My observations are only my opinions which are worth only as much weight as you opt to give them and no more.
The last point I'll advise you to do is be flexible. This applies to all writing, in my opinion. Plan your fic in advance, but if you find while writing that something doesn't work as well as you'd thought or you had another idea which works better, go ahead and write it. You get some real gems that way. :)
Anyway, I hope that this helped. If you want, you can always ask questions if you wish. Again, this is nothing more then my opinion which only has as much weight as you give it. ...I'm feeling a bit self-conscious at the moment. :P Good luck. I look forward to reading your fic.