Court Records

Southern Corn: Story Crafter
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Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Southern Corn: Story Crafter

This is basically the place where I post my works,which include poetry and some short stories. I'll start with this simple little haiku:
Murder-A Haiku
Shot right in the heart
The weapon,a stray arrow
The victim,a hawk

Stay tuned for more soon!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Oct 28, 2016 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Here's a new one:
They open the door,crowd into the room wildly
While the centre of the show just stands there mildly
They bring the sacrifice on a plate with some dishes
and a knife and give good wishes
The room gets illuminated by mild candlelight,
But then the person in the centre blows them,losing all sight
Then the lights are switched on again,and the sacrifice,poor thing,
Gets cut into pieces,while everybody in unison sing
The sacrifice is divided among all equally
And there's room for more,as far as their stomachs see
And then everybody cheers,and they all chant and say,
"We all wish you a happy birthday!"

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Guess I should also include my Mad Libs.
So,basically,there'll be a space where you'll have to write some given words (with a paper,usually), and then there'll be a story which will be half complete. You'll just have to finish it using the keywords you wrote. Oh,and no looking before writing the words.

Show me the list you came with and we'll all have a good laugh at it.

Here's one:
Spoiler: long list
    1) Noun
    3)Gender indicating ownership(eg. His or her)
    5)Verb (past)
    6)Same gender but w/o indicating ownership (eg. He or she)
    7)Verb ending with ing
    10)Verb (tense neutral)
    11)Verb (tense neutral)
    14)Verb (past)
    16)Verb (tense neutral)
    19) Colour
    20)Body part
    21)Verb ending with ed
    22)Body part
    23)Amount (eg.much,little)
    24)Verb ending with ed
    25)Negative quality (eg.lazy,boring)
    27)Name of someone evil
    28)Your role model
    29)Positive quality of role model (,strong)
    30)Farewell (eg.bye,see you soon,see you later,alligator)

And the story for this:
Spoiler: the greatest story of all time brace your seatbelts cause you gonna fall off yo
There once was a great 1. The 1 was very 2, and 3 4 5 6 for it. One day, 6 was 7, when suddenly a 8 appeared! It cackled," My name is 9, and I wish to 10 the world! I will 11 you and your 12 friends!

But the 1 replied," No! I will never let you do that to my world! Die,you 13 ! But 9 attacked 3 first,and 3 14 to the ground!

It looked as if the great 1 was about to die,when suddenly a 15 appeared! It said," Oh, 9, I will 16 you!" And so it did. The 1 gaped in surprise. " Who are you,oh 17 15? You amaze me with your 18 19 20! It also 21 me how you kicked 9 's 22 so 23! I also really 24 your 25 -"

"Now,now", said the 15 ,"Enough with the compliments. If you must really know,I am...the 26 27!" " Whoa,really? I'm your biggest fan!" "O really? Who might you be,then?" "Oh,me? I'm just a 1 . My name is 28! But everybody hates me because I'm too 29 ."

" Ah,I can see why,you suck. Screw you. 30 !

The End :gant:

That was neat,eh? Please do tell me if it doesn't work for you properly.

Alright,another one coming!
The list:
    η)Random noise (i.e ooh,ah,oink)
    ι)What you would name your child
    κ)Random noise
    λ)Random noise
    ν)Animal (plural)
    ξ)Verb ending with ing
    ο)Verb ending with ed
    π)Worst insult you've ever heard
    ρ)Random noise
    σ)Verb ending with ed
    υ)Your best friend
    φ)Your least favourite human being
    χ)Your favourite food
    ψ) Number
    ω) Positive quality or trait

And the story:
Spoiler: The spooky story brace yourselfs yo or you gonna die lol
A Tale of α β

There once was a world where γ ruled, δ were eaten, ε were drunk,and ζ was used as toilet paper. The world's name was η . It was in the θ ι galaxy,right in between the two planets κ & λ .
This is the story of η 's attempted invasion by the μ ν .

One day,the γ were having a nice time by ξ each other,when suddenly, ν appeared! The inhabitants ο to try and scare them off,but it didn't work. They cackled,"We have come from κ . We have already killed all of λ 's inhabitants. Now it's your turn to perish,you π !"

And with a battle cry of ρ ,they went and killed the poor γ ! But they weren't alone. Suddenly,warriors σ out of nowhere and killed the evil ν .
THE END :godot:

.... OR NOT! :udgey:

There was only one invader left,who had killed all the warriors- the τ υ ! It killed all the inhabitants except for their ruler,the famous,kind hearted,beautiful,and renowned φ! Everybody obviously loved them,and they killed the last invader,and lived happily ever after,eating χ for ψ more years. They're just so ω ,aren't they?

ok the end for realsies remember to subscribe to my twitterbook and twitchtube kthxbai :edgey:

Great job,me! Thanks! You're welcome!

Remember to point out any mistakes here if you're having any trouble. :jake:

Author:  Southern Corn [ Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

This counts as a work,I guess,so here's my detailed case rankings,complete with scores and detailed explanations on their respective rankings. It's still in progress though. You can read it simply,or open the spoiler tag in that post to skip to any writeup you'd like.

Warning,this contains spoilers,for the six main games,the two AAIs,DGS and the Layton crossover. So all of those. If you'd like,though,you can just skip the DGS ones (labelled D-x,where x is the case number).

Author:  Thelema [ Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Do you get inspiration from Romanticism or some poet in particular for your poems? I like them. Even if you are not intentionally getting influence from Romanticism, they seem kind of Byronic.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

I personally love subversion,and this is what they're all about. 'Murder' ends with a twist that it was only a hawk,and 'Celebration' ends with a twist that it was only a birthday party,but it was worded rather cruelly. Either way,glad you like them!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Been a while since I posted here,but I'm bumping this thread to inform you that my next work is on my way! Promise!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Tue Dec 27, 2016 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Had a bit of writer's block,but finally,here's the poem!

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh,Christmas tree
How much do I adore thee?
Your dark green leaves give me bliss
And the way you've been decorated just is

Absolutely great
Like a piñata at a party
Where even if I'm late
I can take part and be wonderful and hearty

The ornaments,the stars and the candy canes
All so beautiful,without blemishes or stains
The golden star right at the top
Positioned careflully,even if it is a bane
To do so without it being a flop
In the end,it's still

Absolutely great
Like a piñata at a party
Where even if I'm late
I can take part and be wonderful and hearty

Oh Christmas tree,
I still love and adore ye
Your wonderfulness consumes everyone
Gives them laughs and is a lot of fun
I'll always love you,even if you aren't there-
Wait,you're taking it where?!

Stop! Please cease and desist
That tree is ours,and it will be missed
But not if you let it stay,
And let it adorn our living room,
Just the thought of it gone forever makes me swoon,
Please,I beg you,let me have my way-

Fine,I do understand,I guess
Christmas is over,and it will be missed
But that tree is very important to me-
Sigh,fine,take it. Happy 'Holidays'.


And thus the tree was taken down
All of its ornaments,and its starry crown
The wood was chopped open,and taken who knows where
But now the living room feels so bare

Oh,Christmas tree,you will be missed
I'm sorry I failed to resist
With out you,it'll never be the same again
And I'm not sure if I can be sane again
You were

Absolutely great
Like a piñata at a party
Where even if I'm late
I can take part and be wonderful and hearty

But not anymore,gone forever
When will I see you again? Most likely never
Your green leaves filled me with bliss
And you will most certainly be missed.

Oh Christmas tree
Come back to me
I will come where you are now just to see ye
Oh,I know! You're up in the sky
With the angels,letting loose
I think I can get there with the help of this noose!

Yes,just tie it around this wonderful neck of mine
And I hope to see you there being just fine
Oh,and I hope you will be just

Absolutely great
Like a piñata at a party
Where even if I'm late
I can take part and be wonderful and hearty


I hope you like it. I was particularly happy about the double meaning behind the refrain at the end myself. See y'all later!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

You've seen my short stories and poems,and now time for,other works. So here are my totally cool OCs. Starting with...the mysterious Prosecutor Socot!


After waking up from a poison-induced coma which he was in for 7 years,Socot decided to take to prosecuting,hoping he would discover his true identity (as he woke up an amnesiac) by doing so. The blue thing behind him? That's his tail,which got severely wounded during his fatal and mysterious accident 7 years ago. His eyes were also heavily damaged,and he has to wear a helmet to even see. Even with it,he cannot see yellow on white,which has seriously confused him several times in the bathroom. So far,he has gone undefeated,but has not regained his memory. Will he get it back? Find out soon!

Thought that Prosecutor Socot was garbage? Then you haven't even seen my next dumb OC,Captain Socot!


As you can tell,this is Prosecutor's Socot's alternate identity! After prosecuting several cases,Socot realised that there's more to him than the courts can provide answers for,and became a superhero! Just like the Yatagarasu,he's on the search for the truth-the truth of whom he really was,that is. Every month,at midnight,he sneaks into his outift (with some evil eyebrows pasted on his helmet,red laser eyes emanating from his helmet,a fake metal mouth sneering at his foes,a wonderful moustache and a cape with his initials (CS-Captain Socot (but could it be more than that? :hotti: ) on it covering his weak tail),and steals (get it?) into several warehouses and embassies and other offices to get more info on who he was-even if he was traitor scum from an organization larger than him. Will he truly steal the truth,even if his life depends on it? Or will he have to stick with being a prosecuting amnesiac? Find out soon!

made by me in 10 minutes with MS paint as a joke for Pierre

...Yeah,um....I'll go now. :sadshoe:

Author:  Southern Corn [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Man oh man,you may have thought some of the earlier stuff was bad,but here's some more purposefully bad stuff. It all started in the PW dreams thread where fellow user Brammimond described a dream they had:

Brammimond wrote:
Phoenix and Maya are kind of dating, but it's only casual. Then Maya suddenly turns to him one day and says, "You know, Nick, I like where our relationship is at, but I think we should take things to the next level."
But Phoenix is rather slow to what she's getting at, so he just nods and says, "O-Oh, okay. So like seeing each other more and updating our relationship status on Facebook?"
"Actually...I'm talking about this." And then she pulls out a rattlesnake. "We need to spice things up a little. Aw, don't worry. He won't bite."
I really don't know what they intend to do with the rattlesnake. But I woke up right then and I don't think Subby wants to know either.

Which I then responded to with a joke post about the fan fictions that could arise from this. But then they asked me to write one,featuring some other characters. So I present to you,from my friend toomuchbathroomcorn2009 (since I don't want to write this myself)...

Mayo's rattelsnek advuntre

hey nick maya said

yeah what is it mayo said cnik

then yamo pulld out a rittlsnaek

phenix shuted oh noes yummy wut r u duing

burger girl said hey nick i wanna lick ur ratelsnek

but penix sad not and he ded

miyu was liek ho my godness wut did just happend (A/N that was a ygs refrince u guis do tink jack wil sea tis)

then DA GRETEST DETCETVIE EVRE AUTOTUNE JESUS (A/N hes autotune jsus and peaslovey andystunding combnied i dunno f i splet it write tho lol) came and said NO UR TRU LOEV IS NOT WRGHTIO ITS THE SNEK



BUT THEN oh srry my caps lock was on anyway teh reel cedtective joysus game amd keld hmi and rezrectid pony dan myoa

yummylicious apollogisd to phiny and sed she wasnt intristed

phony sed its ok im into edgeypoo anyway


then defective geez r us laffed and everyone liffed adn teh epsode endid like on scooby dough watch it its a good tv show

then the credits showd up (A/N not down) and it said DIRECTED BY SOME ASSHAT WHO THINKS HES IRONICALLY FUNNY CALLED toomuchbathroomcorn2009 AND THIS IS WHY U SHOLD STAY IN SCHOOL KIDZ

and then i wuz all NO SHUT UP CREDITS GUY and i kiked him out

then i wrote THE END

THE END (A/N lol get it guys its meta lol yum yum anyway have the goodest day and drive safe)


I hope to return to actually writing something of interest,so this should be the last of this [CENSORED] you'll see on this topic. Anyway,I deeply apologise to you,and remember to wear your seat belts or you CAN'T drive safe.

And I did leave a not so secret hidden message here. Look for it if you must.

Author:  Bramimond [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter


Bootiful. Now go to the Sporking theater and think about what you've done.

I'm jk. I laughed out loud at Dolan Trump. What a plot twist! And this fic had everything: mystery, phony/edgypoo smut, Detective Jesus...ah, this is the troll fic to end all troll fics, IMHO. Danke, SC. Danke.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter


Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

here's the damn sporking you savages enjoy

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Jan 27, 2017 5:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

In case you're interested,I've started sporking another's fic-a Neil/Kristopher one. Yes,you heard that right. Part two coming afterwards.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

and here's part dos!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 5:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Have this dumbass joke I wrote

Spoiler: Long shιt
A man and his wife are living happily in their middle class home. One day,the man gets a letter from the Maldives. His wife gives it to him,but upon reading it,his face becomes pale. When she asks him why,he doesn't respond. Instead,he asks,'Do you have a deck of cards?' The wife,being a frequent poker player.says she has several. The man responds,'Give me a heart. Any heart.' She gives him a king of hearts. He immediately leaves the house. Later that night,he comes back,but with a scar on his nose. When his wife asks what happened,he doesn't say a word.

Exactly one month later,he gets another letter,but this time from Hong Kong. After reading it,his reaction is the same. This time,he asks for a diamond. His wife gives him a queen of diamonds. He leaves right after. At midnight,he comes back with a slash on his wrist. His wife bandages the cut,but he still remains silent. The next month,another letter arrives from Chicago. His reaction remains unchanged,but this time it's a club. His wife gives him the jack of clubs. He says it's perfect,and leaves with it. When he comes back in the middle of the night,he's missing an eyeball. His wife immediately takes him to the hospital,where he is given a prosthetic eye. However,he pleads the fifth on the events that transpired.

Finally,exactly one week letter,another letter arrives from London. The man upon reading the letter sighs and asks for a spade. The wife gives him an ace of spades. Nodding,he leaves. However,he doesn't return at all the next day. The worried wife informs the police and they go searching for him. They find him in an alleyway massacred and mutilated,barely alive. They rush him to the hospital,but it seems he won't live. A few weeks later,when the husband is nearing his death,the wife asks him to tell her what happened. The man agrees. 'What happened was that-'

And then he died

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Some more lameass jokes
Spoiler: Contradictory Brackets
A hippopotamus is enjoying itself in the lake when it sees a crocodile starting to jump into its pond. It goes to it and says,'Hey mang,don't jump into your lake like that. You're going to cause a huge mess.' '


'Don't let me see you jump in there again,dude. Totally not gnarly.'

Then the hippo immediately jumps into its lake,causing a huge mess. The crocodile comes over and says:

'Wow,isn't that a bit hippo-critical?'


'Don't you mean hypocritical, dude?',asks the smartass hippo.

'Shut up you hippo',says the croc and he kills him


"Hey,did you know that my parents both have a PhD?",asks a man to his friend.

"No", the friend responds.

"Well,for their final assignment,they had to write a whole essay on thermodynamics or something."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. My mother wrote '[',and my father wrote ']'."

"Wait,what? I don't understand. How could-"

"Didn't you get it? They wrote in total a pair of parenthesis!"

Then his friend shoots himself

Author:  Southern Corn [ Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Yet another sporking,this time it's Apollo and Ema:The Baby Chronicles. No,that's not a joke. Click here to see it. I will be posting more parts in the future on that page,so be sure to check it out every now and then for new parts. Either way,I'll inform you about it on this thread.

Coming soon,a compilation of short stories,happy and sad.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Part two is now here! This took a long time to write,so please do check it out. :jake:

Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Really proud of this one. I actually sent this in for a magazine and it made it! I made some slight changes to make it sound more poetic,so here you go!

Too Vivid an Imagination
In bed,all alone,not a single soul near me
Outside the wall is something I never expected to see
Up on the wall,staring at me with contemptuous eyes
A real life tiger comfortably lies
No idea what to do,not a single clue
Stuck in place,but wanting to run out of the room
Suddenly the beast's mouth starts to open
Almost as if to arrogantly roar
But no,instead what did happen
Was absolutely petrifying
This is no joke,I am not lying
It squeezed through the window and jumped on my body,numb and sore
I become a possum,and pretend to be dead
Then suddenly I wake up in an empty bed
The conceited creature no longer exists
Being relieved I no longer clench my fists
The hazes hallucination has left me livid
Perhaps,I think,my imagination is a tad too vivid?
I feel a bit happy and a little bit insane
But I cannot look at animals properly anymore,all the same.

This is all true,by the way.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Been a while,huh? Anyway,here's my Layton Brothers review. It counts I think
Spoilers below for the whole game.


It was bloody fantastic! I loved this game to death. Putting aside a few presentation problems at the first couple of cases,this game was really freaking consistent in its greatness. If I had to rank the cases,it would go like this:


0 was just a 2 minute opening and was just kinda meh. Lucy looks like a full blown AA character though and I love how Barton is the commissioner.

1 was a simple tutorial case and did its job fine. Not much to say except the mystery device was rather ambiguous in terms of appearance and the green and red arrows as well as the stone heart confused the hell out of me. Also the music isn't very Laytonesque but it could fit AA very well.

7 was alright. Mostly puzzle solving. It felt the most Laytonesque of all the cases. Only thing of note is the ending

2 is somewhat underwhelming after you finish it. The culprit is really obvious and this was where I realised we didn't even get to speak to any other suspects. Poor Bingo didn't even get a role. He was just...there. Potty Prof appeared here and was fantastic.

4 has a really good opening and is also surprisingly gory. Guy got hit in the head with an axe. Ouch. After that though catching the culprit wasn't that much fun. Etista's role was a surprise though. Other than that this case was just alright.

3 is really good. The twist that the victim made the killer shoot her without him knowing is fantastic. Roscoe is a good red herring and I genuinely was confused the whole time. Very interesting.

5 is a simple case,like Turnabout Samurai,but develops as you progress. Even the final nail in the coffin is similar to 1-3. I really wish I could've talked to Randall (you can guess why), and the way Dread was killed reminds me of 6-2 in a way. de Bonair is an interesting villain as you only meet him at the end. He reminds me of 6-2's villain as well. Cruel guy killed a 19 year old,but wasn't even man enough to directly do it.

9 is a fantastic final case. The setting of Forbodium Castle is great and the solving of the Makepeaces' murders is great. Only problems are that this isn't that emotional and the catching of the culprit was underwhelming. Guy's a police officer,but he doesn't even attempt to escape? Also,the ending left some stuff unsolved,which disappointed me. Other than that this I enjoyed getting Alfendi off the hook. The twist that Potty was Al was incredible.

6 is very interesting,because we don't know a goddamn thing about it. Who killed who? Sure,we know that Barbarossa was the last to die,but who killed the others? He didn't have a motive to murder them. How did Agonni die? Why did Diane orchestrate the whole thing? All we know is that the crooks 'oiked her father',as she put it. Very mysterious. Even the ending isn't a real confrontation. You just try and figure things out with Uttar's help.

8 is by far my favourite. It's a simple case in the end,and the characters all being animals is cute,but I think the twist that Dog was Makepeace really puts this case in a new light. He hung up the millionaire on his coat stand four years ago. Really creepy. Also,wouldn't that make Hen the housekeeper the prime suspect? And did Justin orchestrate this one too? We may never know,but I really enjoyed this nevertheless.

Anyway,that was Layton Brothers. Was it good? Read the first sentence,you bastard. I absolutely recommend it. Such a good game. I hope a sequel is made for this. Then I shall be satisfied to the tenth.MMMMMMPPPPHHHH

Author:  Southern Corn [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

A sig I made I guess.


Didn't work,but this is the best thing I've ever made on MS paint especially compared to Captain Socot so here it is

Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

I found this one a while back. Forgot about it. Yes I wrote it and I'm proud of it. Keep in mind it isn't historically or geographically accurate but it isn't meant to be either

Once, in Europe, near Sweden and Norway, people thought that the earth was flat, and did not travel too far, because they were scared of falling off its edge. But there were three brave explorers- Fenrir, Jonathan, and Zlatos. They thought that the earth was round, and set out to explore it.Their relatives gave them their best wishes, and hoped they came back alive.

Fenrir steered the ship southeast. One week later,they saw land in the distance.It was the country of China! Jonathan took the honour of being the first to set foot on it.Suddenly the ground under him collapsed,and he horribly fell to his doom and died in a ravine. His two friends tremendously grieved for what seemed like ages.But they went and saw the Chinese Emperor himself!

The emperor felt sorry for both of them,so he gave them some exclusive treasure from the marvelous country.The two friends’ spirits lifted up a little,but not completely.They went back to their ship and started to steer it. Zlatos steered it North west,and went to where Seattle would be in a few centuries!Unfortunately,Red Indians lived there,and they didn’t appreciate travelers invading their land.

They started chasing the duo.Fenrir was too slow,and was killed by them. Zlatos felt even more grieved.How could this have been? He sailed off in a direction no one has found till today,and he landed in Rome! Now,if you may know,Rome is the capital of Italy,and was also the home of Italian food. In one hour,he was taking a tourist trip through the ancient Parthenon,after eating a buffet of pizza (too many anchovies) , pasta,(too many veggies) and lasagna (too much perfection).

He had a successful trip through the city and soon went back on his ship.He was ready to go back home and scoff in his favourite manner at his friends and relatives that there was no such thing as the edge of the earth.He had learnt that it was round! He was so high and mighty now! The ship took sail back home.

Then it fell off the edge of the earth


Author:  Southern Corn [ Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

why am I posting this here

This is by far my most popular work. At least two people on this forum have loved it especially. That counts right? It's s poem I wrote in the CoC thread. Before I show you it I want to show you the raving reviews it's gotten so that you'll be disappointed when you actually read it

The New York Times post wrote:
This poem is so eloquent that I cannot help but to stare at my screen awestruck that I had discovered such a literary masterpiece on the likes of this fansite. The poem, having an abundance of prose but yet being concise enough to illustrate the author's introspection in an efficient manner, has clearly been planned out so that it could portray its symbolism in a tastefully subtle way that could be only be noticed by the most astute of readers. This is truly a work of art, dear sir, and I applaud you with my utmost sincerity.

My Aunt wrote:
Bravo! Beautiful poem, so eloquent

So yeah now that I've overhyped you

Spoiler: Here it is
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Daisies are yellow
Grass is green
Don't do drugs
Stay in school kids
Please hurry up already

happy world poetry day everybody

Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu Apr 06, 2017 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Wine and Gress
Line and tress
We digress
We often do

Credit to WaitingforGodot for coming up with this along with myself. It reads rather eloquently,I feel.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Apr 07, 2017 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Been nearly two months, but the third part of the Baby Chronicles sporking is up here! hope you enjoy I'm dead gnight

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sat Apr 22, 2017 3:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

I just finished doing a top five of the cases from popular fan game contempt of court. I had quite a fun time typing it up. You can view it here!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

The final (for now) part of the Baby Chronicles is out! It's quite long, but it's right here!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Mon May 01, 2017 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Here's a detailed analysis on one of my favourite victims.

Spoiler: AAI

Deid Mann clearly was born to parents who did not love him. They never wanted to have a child,and most probably tried to get rid of him. However,they were most probably caught in some way or another,and decided to put up him in an adoption centre. When he was in school,Deid Mann was most likely the most teased boy in the whole building. He could never get many friends,as the others teased him unrelentingly over his name. So,you know what Mann did?

He decided to study extra hard. And since he managed to land a job and the Cohdopian embassy,we can assume he succeeded gracefully. He even grew a moustache and was entering the evening years of his life! All was going good for him. But where did he go wrong?

As we know,he was to testify in a trial against his employers (most likely Alba/ Coachen),but how did he discover them? Well,most likely through going through some files. Also,it's pretty damn obvious that Coachen killed Cece in the KG-8 incident and he most likely uncovered some decisive evidence against him. But most unfortunately,he was killed in the very same embassy he worked so hard to get at by Mack Rell,who was hired by Calisto. Thus,the story of Deid Mann tragically and suddenly came to an abrupt end.

And yet,how has the fandom seen him as? A dumb bland forgettable victim other than his stupid name. Even the developers didn't care much about him,as they drew him with a beard as well as him being high off his ass for his official art. Though he isn't alone in this. Ka-Shi-Nou and Akbey Hicks also differ from their in game sprites and official art. But still,does Deid Mann deserve such neglect?!


Farewell to thee,Deid Mann! Your legacy may most likely be forgotten afterwards,but your name shall live forever! May you rest in peace. *sniff*

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri May 05, 2017 6:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Look,another sporking! This time it's a particularly asinine one.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Tue May 09, 2017 10:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

New mixtape poem. It's an Ode to Snake (from 999)

Spoiler: 999
An Ode to Snake
Light's rather bright,
even in the night.
Of books,science and culture he is a lover,
and he has a younger sister named Clover.
Light lacks sight,
which makes him braver in the night.
He's an excellent thinker and always wins his fights.
If you try and kill his sister,then you're cray
Because a snake almost never lets go of his prey
Light has intelligence and might,
While Clover's quite cheerful and bright.
He's blind,not deaf,
and he's right,not left.
So don't mess with him,
Because otherwise you're rather deft.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Thu May 11, 2017 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

I crave more sporkings. And so be it. Quickie this time. You ever wonder who Edgeworth's mother was? Well, here you go!

Author:  Southern Corn [ Mon May 15, 2017 7:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

New fic! This is Maya wears Prison Clothes. Based on this prompt:

Jmariofan7 wrote:
AU where Phoenix dosen't exist, and Maya gets the guilty verdict and goes to jail and changes into prison clothes (can either be orange jumpsuit or stripes)

Everyone is welcome and free to write their own version of this however they want.

So yeah, here it is. Don't worry, it's mostly serious. Mild spoiler warning for case two of AAI2, but nothing huge.

Spoiler: Maya wears Prison Clothes (Mild AAI2-2 spoilers)

The word hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity in Maya's mind. How could she be declared guilty for killing her own sister? Something didn't make sense in that woman's testimony. Yet, the lawyer she was assigned didn't seem to notice. It almost felt as if the whole thing were rigged against her in some strange way. Even Mr. Grossberg, the man her sister told her to go to when she was in trouble, refused her defence.

All this went through Maya's mind as she was taken away by the guards, tears starting to form in her eyes. She was taken back to the detention centre, which she had familiarised herself with in the last few days. She was however, not taken back to her normal cell. Instead, the guards went further back, where there was a sealed door. They opened the door, giving rise to a repulsive scent. No, it was more of a stench than a scent. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something about that stench was positively disgusting. Then she realised where she was exactly.

The prison.

She was taken in even further than she expected, into a place she assumed was the women's sector of the prison. She was given a cell next to a young woman with strikingly bright red hair, and was given the prisoner number V-6592. She sighed, as they gave her her the clothes she was supposed to wear in prison, with her prisoner number in the centre of a striped white and blue dress.

Maya sighed sadly as she sat on the bed. She reminisced on how she was originally brought into the detention centre due to the detective whose name she had already forgotten. Was it Gumtree? It mattered not to her anymore. She thought back to the talk she had with the warden, who had seemed like a nice lady.

The warden, named Roland, seemed to have sympathy for Maya as she disclosed her feelings, half sobbing. What would she think now if she saw me being declared Guilty, Maya thought, tears welling in her eyes, as she changed into her new striped clothes. What would poor Pearly and Aunt Morgan do? She hoped they would at least visit her in her sad and foreboding prison cell. She kept her acolyte clothes in the corner, thinking that she would never have use for them again. As she finished this thought, she had completely changed into her striped uniform.

And that was the story of how Maya Wore Prison Clothes.

The End

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sun May 21, 2017 5:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

I just woke up. Oops. New sporking. Whoohoo.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Tue May 23, 2017 10:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

I recently got my hands on some of my old notebooks back when I was in middle school. I was an avid writer even then, and wrote all the time in my notebooks. My handwriting wasn't the best then, so the teacher assigned me a handwriting notebook, where I had to write one page DAILY. So I decided to write my own story, one page at a time. So I guess I'll be posting this...daily? Weekly? We'll see. Here's the first chapter I wrote. Note that it isn't historically or geographically accurate, but...well, you'll see. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...

When Goats ate Airplanes

Page 1- The Prologue

Two hundred years ago, there lived a very special species of goats in Switzerland they are now extinct, so don't go looking for them now. But they were very special because they had a very strange liking for metal. No one knows why, although there is a very strange story inspired by it. I suggest that you probably shouldn't listen to that nonsense, but, oh, here's the tale:

(To Be Continued)

I also should've probably told you that each page was rather short. Anyway, I've decided to post about 2-3 daily for now since they're quite tiny in length. But I think this is all for today. See you tomorrow, when you actually get to hear the tale. I assure you, you will definitely regret it.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Wed May 24, 2017 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Oops, sorry about the delay. Here are the next few parts. I'll also be giving authors notes in parentheses when needed, or just when I feel like it. The strikes you'll see were also in the original writing.

When Goats ate Airplanes (Continued)

Page 2- The Rumour

Someone had seen them [the goats] eat spinach a lot, and it seems they got their liking for metals from the iron in the spinach [this is how it works in real life, of course]. When the first mine was opened, you couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't believe how many of the, ran in there just to eat iron, alluminium and more copper. Then man invented the airplane. (To be Continued) [Actually, there'll be one of those in brackets at the end of each chapter. I'll be omitting them due to redundancy]

Page 3- The Aeroplane

It was a disastrous idea, to tell you the truth. If the Wright Brothers had known of this, then the idea would have been scrapped. But no, soon planes were made- out of metal. They built it everywhere. But they never should have thought of the dreaded idea that airplanes in the European country known to this earth we are living on right now; as Switzerland. [There are way too many problems with that sentence, but I'll just say it was even more apparent how I was trying to fill up a whole page in the actual book. It gets worse in the next one too.]

Page 4- The crash

If you lived in Switzerland a century or two ago, you would have known the chaos. You probably don't. Once, in a peaceful farm, a plane crashed. As you might guess, or may not if you're super dumb, and you probably are since you're reading this in the first place [that's the first correct fact past me has said so far], the goats lived there. At least a heard of them. They smelled the aluminium burning.

And that's about all for today. As you can tell, these few early chapters are me trying to fill a whole page. Thankfully, it gets better later on. I think. I have virtually no memories of the latest chapters. There are 37 of them, by the way, and they start to soon go on for longer than a page. Anyway, see you tomorrow.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri May 26, 2017 10:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Sorry for no post yesterday. I was busy finishing up VLR, as you can tell by my avatar. So you get extra chapters today. Whoo.

When Goats ate Airplanes (Continued) (Continued)

Page 5- The Remains

They wandered to the crash site, which wasn't a crash site till a week later [?]. The goats did the most obvious think you could think of. They ate *most* of the plane, ejected the deceased and unconscious passengers into the bonfires nearby. So, a week later, the townsfolk wondered how the passengers' bodies were all burnt and how the plane seemed to be eaten.

Page 6- A Crazy Idea

But one citizen had an idea. He thought it was crazy. He also thought the his brain was like that. But it could be possibly, the only suggestion. At night, near the plane crash site, he looked around, holding a piece of iron in his hand.

Page 7- The Truth Revealed- For 2 minutes

[At this point, I got tired of writing 'When Goats ate Airplanes' over and over and striked it out, replacing it with 'Same Story'. Future pages replaced that with an abbreviation of the title- WGoA.]

Immediately they flocked around him [like goats do], trying to get the iron. The citizen had discovered a secret of Switzerland, what utterly no one had known before. And how long hasve [it's had, younger me] they lived in the country- centuries, or millennia? He unfortunately never found the last part out, because he was trampled by their hooves.

Page 8- The Mysterious Death

The townsfolk wondered what [had] happened to the poor citizen the next day, and why there was a small piece of alinumium iron in his hand. One suggested that he went mining but someone murdered him and threw him here. Another thought that he drunk too much that his body couldn't take it. But the truth was discovered ^ only 12 years later.

That's all for today. I actually stopped here because in the next part, a semblance of a story begins to form, and I know you've been waiting for some of that. I think from here on out I'll be doing 5-6 chapters daily since they're rather short. At least, for now. Like I said last time, it does get longer than 1 page (as well as more pretentious) eventually. Anyway, see you tomorrow.

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sat May 27, 2017 10:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Alright, no more messing around. I'll be doing a good deal today. Let's start.

When Goats ate Airplanes (Continued) (Continued) (Continued)

P9 [Which is how it's written like from here on]- An Accidental Joke

12 years later, the town clown, Bobby Joe, was asked by his friend Freddo Malkins [I know the guy sounds like he's a Hobbit. I had a strange obsession with Western culture and names when I was in middle school], to deliver a nice soft iron strip to his cousin, a scientist, who lived just a few kilometers away, right in a nice log cabin with a huge scientific laboratory [next] to it. As it happened, that very scientist, Garry Malkins (not so famous for inventing modern utensils [which surprisingly is untrue]) lived just near the very familiar field of ^goats.

P10- Hooved Spies

Bobby, however, did not know about this, so he reluctantly agreed. But he was lucky for the first few miles [which should have been enough for him to reach there, but...], for he took the bus. Unfortunately, the bus did not go all the way there, so he had to stop halfway through and walk 5 [more] miles to the log cabin [...what past me meant by 'a couple of kilometers' was really 10 miles, or roughly 16 km. Nice]. However, he never noticed the horned heavy goats spying on him from a distance.

P11- An Imaginary Meeting [Personally my favourite chapter]

He walked over on and on [?], noticing the lovely countryside. Poppies, sunflowers, daisies, dandelions- they seemed to be gathered around, as if there was some sort of meeting in their plant world. Birch trees too boomed overhead, as if they were eavesdropping [in] on the meeting. The wind seemed to be blowing them the other way, [as if] to prevent them from ^overhearing anything.

[Side note, the reason I love this chapter so much is because of its descriptions. I always had a vendetta against the authors in our English literature book for including such similar descriptions, as those descriptions would usually come for our test. So I wanted this story to be published and to include it in English literature books so that THOSE descriptions would come for tests instead. It's a simple but petty motive, and it's why I love this chapter so much. Anyway, back to the story. I think I've written more about this chapter at this point than the chapter itself.]

P12- A 'Mindful' Talk

Ah, but Bobby's mind told himself chided. You're just daydreaming to yourself, Bobby. None of this is happening. And why should I listen to you? , Bobby thought back cheekily [true story]. Our My third grade teacher told us to listen to our soul, not our mind [also true story]. Well, the mind thought back annoyed, she also said you were the sole [get it?] exception, of course. Oh look, there's the ^cabin!

P13- Who[m] The Joke Was On
(OR- The Plot Twist)
(OR- A Disappointing Ending)

And sure enough, there was the log cabin. Look! , he thought to himself. A nice little goat, there. How strange, it's looking at me, too, almost as if I have it's daily diet of food. He walked up to it. "Hey, little goat!" And just when the goat was about to take a bite, it was electrecuted by another [one] of Bobby's tricks. And Bobby went and successfully delivered ^the iron strip to a thankful Gary Malkins and ^went ^home.

P14- A Time Out
[For this chapter, I'll be omitting some personal information I wrote. I don't exactly wish for this story to be the reason my anonymity to be compromised. Hope you don't mind.]

Okay, time out. Now I bet you're all shouting at me in [CENSORED], or 'Or what the hell cheese [I was a random XD kind of boy at the time]?' But here's the thing. I only said that the secret of the goats would be discovered 12 years later. I never said it would happen on that very day. Okay? And here's why I put this day [by which I mean the previous few chapters with Bobby and Gary] even in: Gary Malkins'[s] descendants will be focussed on later.

[A warning, the next three chapters will be completely pointless. This is not a rehearsal. If you want to save precious minutes of your life, skip past them.]

Pg/Pa14 [Page/Part 14]- Back to the Story
(AKA: The Filler)
[Above this is written in brackets- My favourite part!]

Alright, now that we are finally complete with that boring lecture that is completely unbearable for all the audience, ^including men, women, guys girls [?], friends, Romans, countrymen, gorillas, boys, girls [again], monkeys, cows, goats, horses, sheep, donkeys, chickens, cocks [by which I mean roosters, so don't get any funny ideas], pigs, lions, tigers, leopards, cheetahs, jaguars, pumas, elephants, rhinocerouses, hippotamuses and more, let us get back to the story.

P16- An Objection
(AKA The Filler 2)

Wait, what? You say I'm wawasting time, money, and paper by writing this sentence down? I object to this highly [?]! I am uncharacteristically offended by this statement! How dare you, ignorant, arrogant, mortal, talk to me like this! I'm not wasting paper [I dare say that's a bolder lie than the title of this story itself], paper is meant to be written upon, and that is how what I am doing! Wait, have I just wasted another page?

Yes, past me, you have, and I think that's enough for today. Ugh. I've been going through some of my other old notebooks. I was really, really, edgey. I was apparently the maddest lad in class. Who knew? Ugh. Well, um, next time...we'll finish up the Filler Saga, and then talk about some more crap. Ugh. See you tomorrow. I'm planning on bringing something a bit better out in the meantime. Ugh.

Why did I want to do this again?

Edit: K baby chronicles sporking finale bye

Author:  Southern Corn [ Sun May 28, 2017 4:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

This is great. Next part is here. Only one chapter today because I went out and I'm tired. I just want this off my list already. Then the much better writings from my notebooks will come. Though they're not many.

When Goats Ate Airplanes (Continued) (Continued) (Continued)

P17- Back into the Story
(The Filler 2.5 [spoilers; there's no 3])

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I am truly [not] sorry for this! I wasn't really expecting this, but never you mind for now, because we are now going back to the ststory! Gary, also referred to by his full name, Garloni Absondo Elevati Cutu Albert Brandy Cauldron "Mally" Malkins, started to work on the experiment with the ^soft iron strip.

Good night :yogi:

Author:  Southern Corn [ Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Southern Corn: Story Crafter

Haven't been putting up any new chapters recently, but that's because I was working hard on this. By far the longest sporking by me.

More chapters of When Goats Ate Airplanes coming tonight tomorrow to make up for the draught of those for the past five days.

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