There should have been a noise. That’s what happens in films. When someone dies, it’s noisy… it’s obvious. If it happens in public, people panic. Falling down a flight of stairs should definitely have attracted attention. But in this case, it didn’t.

A bear kneels over a vampire’s limp form. A scream. A flash. The police. A trial…

---

The bear in question was wringing his hands in a worried sort of fashion. He was sitting on one of the sofas in the Defence Lobby of the local courthouse. He was docile enough, a little bit of a pushover, perhaps, but on the whole, decent enough, for a bear.

His lawyer, however, had a nagging concern settling at the back of her mind. She’d only just got the case files, and was wholly unprepared, which made her uneasy. She’d been informed that she’d be defending someone called Bernie Trams, but the only other person (apart from the unmoving bailiffs) in the room was this… bear. She was sure there was a good explanation.

“Um, hello, I’m-”

“Pardon?”

“I said, I’m-”

“Hang on a minute, I can’t hear a thing in this stupid costume.”

The lawyer looks on in morbid fascination as the bear brutally twists its own head off, to reveal -

“Bernie Trams,” says the decapitated bear. “Are you my attorney?”

“I-” she composed herself. A costume. Of course, haha. She couldn’t really have been asked to defend an animal in court. “I’m Katherine Egress, attorney at law. A pleasure to meet you, Mr Trams.”

“You know I didn’t do it, right?” he asked earnestly.

“Well, I don’t know that, since I’ve just met you, but I suppose I’ll have to trust you. For now.” Katherine shuffled her notes again, making sure the edges of the files linedup perfectly, before adding: “If I could just ask you a few questions, Mr. Trams…”

“Court will convene shortly. If the lawyer and the defendant would please make their way into the courtroom…”

Damn. Not enough time. She’d just have to ask him on the witness stand.

“Well… Good luck out there, Mr. Trams… You’ll need it.” she said, ominously.

“No problem,” he rallied, unfazed. “Good luck to you, too.”

They made their way into the courtroom…

~End of Chapter~

The gavel slammed on the polished wood of the judge’s bench. A comfortingly familiar sound at the start of a trial for a lawyer, and a signal of impending doom for the defendant.

“Court will convene for the trial of Mr. Bernard Trams. Is the defence prepared?”

“The defence is ready, Your Honour,” stated Katherine, drumming her fingers lightly on the bench.

“The prosecution is also ready, Your Honour!” A reedy voice cut through Katherine’s thoughts. One of those hot-shot prosecutors, she thought. High on their own success. She recognised the man before her, oh yes. Winston Payne, the Rookie Killer of prosecutors. Well, it was lucky for her that she wasn’t a rookie, or she would have been flattened. He certainly was going to be a tough adversary.

At thirty five, he was in his prime. His flowing blond locks were the envy of many a young prosecutor, and he had broken goodness knows how many young women’s hearts. Here was what every prosecutor wanted to be - here was a pro. However, Katherine had never faced off against him before - she was a little nervous.

“Would the prosecution please give their opening statement…”

The judge was one who was familiar to Katherine. He had a striking beard, which was only now beginning to show flecks of grey. He was known for being a little doddery at times, but turning out fair and just verdicts. It baffled Katherine how anyone could be so uninformed and yet still pass judgement, though. He seemed to be a little more clueless than any other judge who had presided over her trials… And for a judge, that was saying something.

“Well, well, well… What have we here? This may not be your first trial, but to me, you’re still a rookie! Prepare to be crushed by the awesome might of Winston Payne!” The handsome High Prosecutor snickered.

Katherine’s face flushed pink in anger… and a little bit of embarrassment. She would not be defeated by this… this glimmerous fop! Just as she was about to object (what what she going to object to? His entire opening statement?), the judge cut in.

“Thank you, Mr. Payne, that was certainly… Unorthodox,” blinked the judge. “But I think we all know that if there was anyone who could get away with that, it’s you. Please continue.”

“Thank you, Your Honour. If I could have the court’s attention, I’d like to lay out the basic details of the case.” Normally, this was the detective’s job, but Payne found it more fun to do this part himself. “The victim, Daniel Bird, was killed by a push down the stairs. The crime took place at a college party, where there was a costumed theme. The victim, dressed as a vampire, had a heated argument with the grizzly defendant, which led to his animal instincts taking over, and throwing the victim down a fatal flight of stairs where his body was discovered… With the bear in question sitting right next to it!”

“Hold it!” Katherine slammed her fist down. “The defendant isn’t actually a bear! He’s just dressed as one!”

There was a deadly silence in the court.

“…I think the silence speaks for itself, Ms. Egress. It’s pretty clear I was just being facetious,” said Payne, mockingly.

“I knew that!” lied Katherine. “There was something else I objected to! Why was Mr. Trams indicted as the criminal if he was at the bottom of the stairs, and not the top? Surely he could have just been a witness to the crime?”

Before speaking, Payne tapped his forehead and broke into a sly, knowing grin. He peered down his glasses at Katherine, oh so coolly, and exclaimed: “Well, why don’t you ask him yourself? The prosecution calls its first witness to the stand… The defendant himself, Mr. Bernard Trams!”

The courtroom burst into chatter.

“He’s pulled another fast one!”
“Is that even legal?”
“Prosecutor Payne’s so cool!”
“That nobody of a lawyer is going down!”
“Marry me, Winny!!”

“Order!” yells the judge, slamming the gavel down. “Order in the court! …Mr. Payne, this is highly unusual, are you sure about this?”

“Of course, your Honour. Save your concerns for the rookie over there,” he said, flicking his long, golden hair out of his face. “Since she hasn’t even had the chance to speak with her client!”

Like a pantomime, Payne’s supporters in the galleries booed and hissed at Katherine. She glared at him. “How dare you! I’ll have you know, I-”

“Order! ORDER! Now, would the defendant please take the stand…”

~End of Chapter~