Board index » Present Evidence » Present Testimony

Page 1 of 1[ 19 posts ]
 


OW's Fanfic Collection [Lock of Lies Chapter 7]Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

While I only have one fanfic written, I'll be doing more straight after this. So it'll be handy, yeah?

Lock of Lies

An Introduction


Well, hi there. I haven't touched fanfics for a while, I'm embarassed about before. My four previous dabbles in fanfics have been failures. They fell from being bound to Phoenix's charcter (which I can't write), or having to go through the boring stuff first. By the time I finish that, the stories dead. This time, I'm re-working an old set of charcters, so it's easier.

(This story follows the protaginist, Heros, and the antoganist, Set, throughout this. At each chapter's end, I'll clear any possible problems. They will not contain spoilers as to the rest of the stories. All characters I use inside this story are OCs.

Prologue

Set and Seth


Three weeks earlier...

The darly-cloaked man sat at the restaurant table, keeping his face covered by a head, and wearing sunglasses. He needed to get hired here, or he'd have to outright kill the upcoming lawyer who had Fey blood in his veins, and his assisstant. His knife would happy dance through their body like a dolphin, while his bullets lodged in his heart, killing him. Then his katana would remove his head and no police on, or under, the world would catch him. He had no fingerprints, and under a fake ID. The police could find out, and he'd just switch to another alias.

But Set was his adopted name, and he kept it for clients. Most clients needed re-hiring him up. the trick was finding him. He kept quiet, and crept around the continets as if he could teleport to them. Funny what people think about when they're about to kill somebody. He made plenty of experience with that. He had at least a dozen investigations going on that involved him as the killer. And he hadn't been caught. Now he needed to kill two more. But he was going to have problems this time. He needed to have the court kill them. It would not do for them two to have their family tree's examined.

So here he was, about to meet the 12 year old prodigy, Seth. He chuckled at the coincedence. Seth needed protection due to the amount of attempts against him. Why the child couldn't kepe his head down and move along was none of his affairs. The restaurant, the Gadreg, was partially owned by Set. Not officially, of course, but the wealth of staff and diners were there by his request. every person there carried a gun on their persons. These were Set's personal team, and they weren't for hire. They were to make sure that any person he was hired by didn't kill themselves.

Outside, the raven-haired youth got out of the car. His green eys darted around, gathering information. "John, are you sure about this? I hardly need another bodyguard. You and your squad do fine." The younge charge's bodyguard, John (whom he had been speaking to) replied "Yes, but now that your getting involved in some possible murders, you need to make sure you don't get muredered. And this guy is supposedly the best at not letting people hold grudges."

The young boy processed this information, then walked in. John walked in behind, motioning to the two people in the car to only come out when needed. They nodded, and Johto followed his charge into the building.

"Hello, Seth. I assume you are the possible client for my talents? Not the target of them?" asked Set as soon as Seth sat down. "Of course I'm your client." snapped Seth "You wish to become hired as a bodyguard?" he also asked, John also asked this question at the same time.

"If you would accept a assassin as a possible bodyguard, as well as as my correct role, I would not object to it. I would, however, ask you to refrain from growing attached to me. I will throw you off. If I do not have to worry, I wonder how much emotion you have in your head. Is it more then me? Of course, for I do not feel the emotions s bodyguard should not. I am merciless. I am willing to kill you, and your bodyguard, and in fact, your entire family tree, until I get what I want. Will you provide me with what I want?" asked Set. It was a long-drawn out statement, and it was as good to the boy as a slap in the face, but it gave him exhilaration, something he hadn't felt in a while.

"I assume you want money." said Seth. "If it is so, we can provide. Shall we say... £100,000 pounds if you fill out your contract?" asked John, beign well aware of Set's family tree straying into Britain until very recently.

"You assume incorrect. I merely want a few people. I mean, I want their bodies, preferabbly alive. Then I will live out my contract. Of course, if you do not supply them, when the contract expires, your my next target boy. Now; tell me. Are you instrested in hiring me?"

Seth grinned, and nodded.

-----------

That's Prologue to this story. It shows Set, the main antagonist, becoming hired by the child prodigy, Seth Lune.

Clearing Things Up

The Gadreg: Gadreg is an anagram of dagger, which is one of Set's weapons of choice. Set hired the staff, and the patrons are often eat there to help Set appear to not own the place. Although he does...

Set's Job: Set's a assassin. His exceptional skills in the area also allow him to bodyguard well. He is found by John, who proceeds to make neogations with him in an event priot to the story.

The lawyer and his assisstant: The two that Set's hunting for are the story's protaganists. They are NOT Phoenix and Maya. They are an entirely new pair of characters. Also; both are realted to spirit channeling by blood.

Enjoyed this? Expect Part 1 up about tomorrow.

Last edited by Allan's Aokage on Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:33 pm, edited 9 times in total.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Prologue is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

As a human, my axis is blurred.

Gender: Female

Location: Central City

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:03 am

Posts: 847

This isn't all that bad, really. The writing is a little rough in places, but that's more due to typo that actual literary style. I think there is a good story here and with some practice and time it'll really flow.
Image
: GiantzWaltz | Various Original Works | Happy Backwards :
Disclaimer: I am rarely ever on the forum these days.
If you really need to reach me my DeviantArt account is the best bet.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Prologue is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

SerenityBlue wrote:
This isn't all that bad, really. The writing is a little rough in places, but that's more due to typo that actual literary style. I think there is a good story here and with some practice and time it'll really flow.
That's my typing style.

I tend to not see some.

I'll re-read any further chapters so they don't have as many typos.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Prologue is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

I like a man with a big ... vocabulary.

Gender: Female

Location: Made in England (More Tea, Vicar?)

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:20 pm

Posts: 1193

Just use a spellchecker. You'll probably miss them otherwise.
"Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good". - Thomas Paine
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Prologue is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

Yeah, I will from now on. For some reason, it only just occured to me to use an online spell checker...

O_o

Anyway, here's the spell checked Chapter 1...

Chapter 1

New time and place


Heros looked over some court documents. He had just won a trial, and his assistant was on leave. Not that he blamed her. That trial was hard... Anyway, he had been expecting a visitor soon, if they did come, he thought, tossing a strand of red hair over his shoulder.

He made himself some coffee while he waited. He was slightly annoyed at himself. Why was he waiting for some jumped-up kid? However, if he could get him an open-and-shut case, then give him a high price... That was very good for Heros and his business. It also meant he'd probably get Payne, who he could trump easy. Not that he didn't like Payne. Oh, quite wrong. they often played chess, normally on Sunday night. When both were normally free, unless they'd had trials. Which was occasional. Anyway, he may as well check his chess strategy. "One pwn two squares forward, the next one square, the next two..." he muttered to himself. Not that he needed it.

When the vase on the other side of the room smashed, Heros yelped. He looked out the window. He could of sworn there'd been someone there... It was not his place to question. He checked the vase. He found a tube among the mess. He opened it. Someone had taken a hypodermic tranquilizer bullet, and scooped out the insides and put a note in... Most effective. And no finger print by the looks of things, either. Heros just read the letter inside it.

"Heros, my master has changed the time and date of the negotiations. You and your assistant will come to the Gadreg tomorrow at 3 PM. Don't make any excuses to us. I know your free. I've been watching you, Heros. No trails for another two weeks, and your assistant is returning tonight. Don't be surprised. Just come and meet my master.

Signed by;
Set
Seth Lune
John Prunt"


Set made it painfully easy to see that he had written the letter, mused Heros, blinking his large blue eyes. Anyway, he may as well get things ready for his assistant's arrival...

--------------

A painfully short chapter. The good news is I've got a large Chapter 2 planned... Something's up I want to clear up;

Explodable Vase: Something that I considered to get Heros annoyed at his possible clients. So that I could establish a future chapter, I made Set change the time and place of the Seth and Heros' meet. This does leave the Chapter lacking, though...
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 1 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

They don't :c

Gender: Male

Location: http://www.ezilon.com/maps/images/southamerica/political-map-of-Argentina.gif

Rank: Moderators

Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:34 pm

Posts: 3188

I like what I read. I like it a lot. Really, its great. Love it. Go on like that OW!
Image
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 2 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

@DeMatador: If you like this, stay away from my old stuff =P. It's really bad xD.

Chapter 2

Plotting


Set dropped the gas grenade, and jumped, hidden behind the gas mask. The white smoke kept him hidden, especially for this excercise. He landed behind Set, and touched the boy's neck with his katana. A drop of blood caught on the end, and he sheathed his blade. "Failed again, Prunt." Set was not exactly happy that he was being watched by someone who could probably break his neck in 5 seconds. It would make it very hard to end the year-long contract.

John appeared in the smoke, coughing. "I didn't know... you would use... smoke..." coughed the bodyguard. "You must be prepared for everything." said Set, opening the closed ventilation vents. The bodyguard was losing his touch. the gas disappeared enough to see in minutes. "Are you two done playing tag?" asked the usually sarcastic voice of Seth, the charge with whom Set was guarding.

"If your bodyguard feels it is done, then it is." replied Set. He knew there was business afoot. "It's done, then." said Prunt, giving into the 12 year old Seth remarkably easy. The excercise would of gone on for hours, if there hadn't been any objections. "Very well." said Seth, who opened the door, and walked out. Set noted the gas should be OK now, and closed the ventilation vents.

The trio had gathered in the upstairs conference room. The room was soundproof, and John had upgraded the door frame so you could hit it with a rocket launcher and it wouldn't dent. However, if a rocket was fired at it, the door would become unusable, due to a cave-in of pressure. But then the person couldn't get it. Set liked this amount of paranoia. In this room, there were all the surveillance camera outputs, added to the reinforced steel emergency doors that were the upgrades. Set could probably get into this room if the emergency doors weren't up. And if the doors were locked. This room was more likely to be in a fortress then a mansion on the outskirts of LA.

"As you both know, I am looking to secure myself a position in the legal system. But, firstly, I need to get some scope for how all sides work, so I can manipulate them all." Seth explained. "So you want someone to be bumped off?" asked Set.

"While not directly, yes, I do want that. I also need a scapegoat for this." he said. "The scapegoat must be related to someone in our network..." he started, but Set interrupted. "I can do the killing, I can find a scapegoat with ease, and if your wanting to plant a camera on the detective in charge, and the prosecutor and defense, as well as anyone else involved, I can do that. I have many talents."

"If you really can do that, do it." he said, giving confirmation. Set put his hand under the table, switching off his signal-jammer. At the cost of not being able to use some of the cameras, they had no need to fear bugs of any sorts. Set turned it off because it was a bug itself. He often used it to get vital info from people when it mattered. "Don't forget to keep me updated with info. I don't want my plot collapsing so early."

Set grinned, and put the bug back in his pocket, turning it off again. "Very well, sir. I will complete my task quickly."

----------

The "Plot": Be aware that Seth is a prodigy, and what happening now is merely the beginning of a plot to almost topple the justice system. The crime going on now isn't a plot.

The Gas: To test his reflexes, Prunt asked Set if he would test him in his abilities. Set accepted, and put Prunt to shame bu using gas when the ventilation was closed.

If I cna get my creative ass into gear, I'll get Chapter 3 up by today.

[edit] Spellchecked.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 2 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

Chapter 3

Execution


Heros took the bus to the train station, where he would meet with his assisstant for the first time in a while... He soon regretted not walking when the bus got caught on traffic. He waited until the next bus stop, then walked the rest of the way.

At the train station, it was all rather strange. If you didn't kn what was going on, and there were 5 people who knew what was going on, and two weren't there. Firstly, Set had taken over the surveillance. He was wearing thin gloves so his fingerprints wouldn't be discovered. All camera's were off, except one, and that one was wired to explode upon command. It would send a signal further around the station, destroying several pillars and benches. It would also destroy the tiles. And the explosives Set had wired into the control room where he was would destroy the surveillance tapes. He had three guards, fast asleep behind him. His two lackeys, Foxe and Amelia, were down on the floor below him, checking if everything was in order.

In short, the plan was simple. They'd timed it for a policeman to come down to the train station , then come into the middle of all of this. Set had positioned a security tape in one of the few places where it wouldn't be destroyed - right under the control room. It was a fake video, based off photos taken by the cameras. It contained simulations that Set had made of someone who was coming to the station very soon. Then, the person who they'd been waiting for had caught his eye. The policeman did as instructed, helped or not by Set's hypnotism, and stood in the middle. Foxe grinned, and shot the man. He then went to the body, And started stabbing it. Eventually, he got the bullet out of the body. He gave Set a thumbs up. Set nodded, and pressed the "Send" button on his phone. The surveillance camera shut down, and the timed explosives began their count-down. Set quickly made his leave of the train station, and his two lackeys grabbed the body, and put it in a bag, then left.

In the back of the station, a van was stationed. The dead body was thrown inside, and Foxe and Amelia jumped in after it. Set jumped into the front, then left the station, taking quick route back to the Gadreg.

Four minutes and thirty-five seconds later, the train came into the station. Marisa got off the train, and took her suitcase as well. When she was off the train, she checked the suitcase to check if she had everything... the train pulled out, and she was alone. She lifted her head from the suitcase... And that was when everything went "BANG". She passed out from shock, and the suitcase fell onto the track, where someone soon picked it up, someone else from Set's business.

Heros heard the "BANG" the train station didn't fall apart, per se... it just collapsed in several places. Then various fires went up. He knew that a train had just left. He gasped, and saw Marisa's mass of yellow hair from the other side of the station. He was about to climb over the rubble...

"Freeze." said someone behind him. Heros sighed. Different country, same clichés. He turned around, and saw a police officer behind him. The rest of the police arrived soon after, but Heros never saw that officer again. He was soon taken in for questioning.

------

This chapter focuses on...?: This chapter was intended as a Heros chapter, but it was very hard to not make him a witness, so I switched the viewpoint to Set for the most part. This helped to flesh out the chapter, and the little Marisa bit showed what happened to the station.

Train Station?: This is the same train station as the one at the end of 1-4.

Set's lackeys: I knew it was pushing it for Set to do everything in this by himself. So I made some new characters to help him. Set runs an assassin's group, and Amelia is his right-hand women and girlfriend. And Foxe is Amelia's right hand man. They will be returning, as they don't get much in this chapter.

How the hell did Set do all of that?: As he has a large group, he disguised them as electricians, and wired everything in. He got the surveillance by knocking out the guards and everyone who was working there.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 3 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

As a human, my axis is blurred.

Gender: Female

Location: Central City

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:03 am

Posts: 847

You certainly have some interesting ideas. Your style could use some refining, but I find myself wanting to read on anyway. If you keep at it you'll become a fantastic writer.
Image
: GiantzWaltz | Various Original Works | Happy Backwards :
Disclaimer: I am rarely ever on the forum these days.
If you really need to reach me my DeviantArt account is the best bet.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 3 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

My son is bored. Care to play with him?

Gender: Male

Location: Minnesota

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am

Posts: 725

I agree. This work shows promise. A little polishing and it'll really turn some heads. One thing I've found really helps in the long term is reading some good and thick fiction books. My experience has been that literary style is better caught than taught. I recommend Weis and Hickman, particularly the Death Gate Cycle. In the short term...would you be interested in a proofreader?
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 3 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

@SerenityBlue: *nods* High praise from a brilliant author. I think I'm doing somethign right...
@Gregory Wright: I would. I proof-read everything last night. Found some mistakes. I mean plot-ones, but it's normally cases of changing surname.

Chapter 4

Contract


Heros walked into the Gadreg, and sat down. The questioning had been quite long, and he'd been lucky to make this on time. The outside had been mostly light blue, with Gadreg written in black. The inside was entirely black. It was hard to tell where the shadows were. The chairs and tables were also black, but thankfully a slightly lighter shade. He sat down, waiting for Seth.

Seth got out of the car, followed by Prunt. Set was waiting for them outside the Gadreg, every inch icy. "You know what to do?" asked Seth, walking past Set. "Obviously." muttered the assassin. The trio walked into the Gadreg. Seth sat opposite Heros, and Prunt stood beside him. Set sat at a 45 degree angle to both, looking quite relaxed.

"You wanted to see me?" asked Heros. Seth nodded. "I did." replied Seth. "About what?" "About the murder of Detective Smith. Your assisstant is the suspect, is she not?"

Heros hadn't known that; he had been told that the police had a suspect, not who it was. "So, what relevance does this have to...?" he asked. "Everything. I assume you wanted an open-and-shut case; I'm providing it. However, you need to pay us a price to become her attorney... Or she won't live to see the trial." grinned Seth. "The price is; two free trials."

"Free... trials?" asked Heros. "Yes. You work this trial, and another, which we provide, for free. Get it?" Heros nodded. Seth got up to leave. "Set, you know what your meant to do." said Seth, then he walked out.

Set grinned, and pulled out a handgun. It had ben modified; Heros could see that much. "You know why I'm here, Heros?" asked Set. "No, I don't." "Too bad." muttered Set. There was nobody else in the restaurant - Heros had an inkling. He was going to be shot.

He was correct. Set fired his gun; a tranquilizer hypodermic erupted from the barrel, and into Heros' leg. He soon fell asleep, helpless.

------

Far shorter then planned. >_< At least it sets up part of the story.
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 4 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

They don't :c

Gender: Male

Location: http://www.ezilon.com/maps/images/southamerica/political-map-of-Argentina.gif

Rank: Moderators

Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:34 pm

Posts: 3188

Great! It makes me wanna read more straight until the end. Go on like this, and you'll become a great writer! Again, congratulations.
Image
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 4 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Lurking in the shadows of the city...

Gender: Male

Location: England

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:40 pm

Posts: 106

Excellent!
Image
Thanks, Vickinator for sig and avatar!! I love you!!!
Shoe fan!
Son of Lilith and Lord Nathaniel. Brother of and GamerErman2001
Re: OW's Fanfic Collection [Lock of Lies Chapter 5 is up]Topic%20Title
User avatar

They don't :c

Gender: Male

Location: http://www.ezilon.com/maps/images/southamerica/political-map-of-Argentina.gif

Rank: Moderators

Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:34 pm

Posts: 3188

Were is chapter 5? I can't find it!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! Now really, where is chapter 5?
Image
Re: Lock of Lies [OC fic] (Chapter 4 is up!)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

@DeMatador: thanks. ^^
@Shadi: xD

Sorry for the non-update Sunday, got dragged off to help someone with their computer. Ended up being gone for 2 hours. >_<

Chapter 5

Confirmation


Heros came to in his apartment. Everything was there, except a necklace he'd bought a while ago. He'd taken it off after the last trial, and it had gone missing already. He sighed. Why was his patience constantly tested?

Of course, the necklace wasn't missing, it was sitting in someone's neck, a private buyer, who'd bought it from someone on eBay called "cloke_&_dgr". This person, of course, had been Set, who'd shot Heros with a hypodermic, mixed with a slight amnesiac. Set had got him into the trial - he'd never given him a fair chance. That wasn't part of the day. While Heros could get to the court house in 20 minutes walking, he was going to have a great deal more trouble knowing he was meant to be there. He had 30 minutes to get there, and he had no evidence, to call even slight recall. However, the amnesiac had only hidden the previous days memories. He still had the day before - the day of the accident.

He picked it up his mobile phone, and flipped it open with a flick of his wrist. He searched for Marisa's number, then hit 'call'. Marisa picked up on the third ring. She didn't use fancy ringtones. Neither did Heros. "Where ARE you, Heros?" she asked. If he could've seen her face, he would have seen someone who was having their patience tested to the limit. "In my apartment..." he said quietly.

Marisa nearly popped a vein. "WHAT? It's 30 minutes until the trial!" she said. "Trial? Who's the defendant?" he asked. Big mistake. Then, his side of the line cut off. "I a..." then she noticed there was a voice. Not Heros'; far from it. It had an eerie edge to it, and it was high and unbroken. She didn't know it, but along with stealing the necklace, Set had tapped Heros' mobile. Not with a something serious, but he had opened it, and forced the phone to send all calls to receivers, which there was three of. One was Set's, but it wasn't in his ear currently - as the receiver doubled as a earpiece. The second was in Seth's ear - he was doing the talking. And the third wasn't a earpiece - it was one of Seth's computer hard drives, and it was recording all of this to be played as a sound file in iTunes. However, Set had made it so him or Seth could hijack the connection at any time - it would cut out sound on Heros' end for a while though, as if the pair cared.

"You shouldn't shout so loud. You may scare someone." said the omnious voice of Seth, unknown to Marisa. At this point, Heros could hear the conversation, but the speaker was disabled - another of Set's 'enhancements'. Another advantage was that neither Seth; nor Set; nor the hard drive would be located by triangling the point of origin. So Heros' phone would be the point of origin, thanks to the miracle of the transmitter, and reciver, in Heros' phone. Genius. Also; the voice would not be recognised. The fact that the original voice had to be transmitted twice twisted the voice beyond recognition. was enough for that.

"...Who are you?" she asked. "I...am the reason you are here. And I will be the soloution." "That means...?" "It means that you have 30 seconds to make your case, before I destroy the hardware and download the software in your friend's phone. Don't worry - he can hear you."

In his mansion, Seth smiled. He'd quite obviously sacred the pair - however, he did not approve that Set had used the amnesiac on Heros. What was he trying to do - stop the trial? By giving Marisa this chance, he not only justified his conscience, he made sure the trial would go through. If the defendant wasn't an idiotic simpleton. Which she probably was. Spirit channeling - how ridiculous!

25 minutes later...

Heros arrived at the courthouse. While he wasn't completely sure on the facts (very much like Marisa was), he knew that he had to defend her. He walked straight into the courtroom, and got by the defense's bench. The 5 minutes leading up would be spent trying to assure his mind he hadn't gone insane.

After those 5 minutes, Winston Payne, who was trying to grow his hair out, walked to the prosecutor's bench. The pair smiled at each other reassuringly. They weren't real enemies, after all. And their chess match was the day after tomorrow. The judge, who had just got up, pounded his gavel.

"This is the trial of State Vs Eoin." said the judge, mis-pronouncing 'Eoin', so it sounded like "Ee-oin." Marisa winced at both her surname and the pronounciation.

"Your Honour, I think you'll find that it's pronounced 'Owen'." squeaked Payne. Marisa grinned at the fact that Payne had pronounced it right. However, she would not be grinning in five minutes.

"Opening statement, Prosecutor Payne."
"Yes, Your Honour. I am here to prove Ms. Eoin guilty. I have evidence. Here is the autopsy report." he gave the autopsy report to the judge, and one to Heros. "It says the victim was crushed by two kilograms of rock."
"I doubt the defendant could lift that, Mr. Payne!" chuckled the judge.
"She didn't need to lift it. The train station practically gave in. Not from wear and tear, but from explosives."
"WHAT?" gasped Heros. He shook his head. If they had a photo of her messing with the explosives...
"Of course, Your Honour, I have evidence to support this claim. Firstly, there's a video of her placing the explosives. Then all the tapes cut out, possible from a virus. However, they come back on when a train comes into land - it practically shows her hitting an explosive mechanism.

The tape was played. It did indeed show Marisa planting an explosive by a camera. Then, the camera cut out, and a strange voice played. Nothing was understanable. "Your Honour, the police don't have a clue what that is. Possbile an effect from the virus. Then, the tapes showed Marisa come into the station, from a train. She bent down, her head pointing at the camera, then opened her suitcase. A little while later, the camera moved downwards. The picture and sound suddenly died, as the camera was severed from it's power source.

Heros gulped. This was confirmation. Marisa was going to get the death sentence.

------

That's Chapter 5. Makes up for Chapter 4 shortness as well, I hope. Sorry about the lateness of the posting, the spellchecker was SLOW.
Re: OW's Fanfic Collection [Lock of Lies Chapter 5 is up]Topic%20Title
User avatar

My son is bored. Care to play with him?

Gender: Male

Location: Minnesota

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am

Posts: 725

This case is off to quite a start! We'll have to see how it all plays out! Fascinating.
Re: OW's Fanfic Collection [Lock of Lies Chapter 5 is up]Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

Now, this is a concept I've had. It's called "This is my Truth." Basically, it's a chapter where all the screws are loosened slightly. For example, this one will delve into Isis, who doesn't appear in Lock of Lies, and is a character who will appear more later. It's also slightly weird =P. Even for the PW universe.

Author's Note: Italics in the speech indicates that the person is saying that in their mind.

This Is my Truth

Isis


Dying before your born is depressing. You often think of the life you may have had - the person you have been, the body you might have had. Starting your living in the afterlife was a bit of a put-down. However, getting to live again should of been a miracle. Indeed - very few people knew she had a conscience at all. The two people who knew of it was her host - but she was hardly sentinet, in most people's opinion. The other person was her twin brother Set. He kept a secret, having a sister at all, and he didn't want her being found out. However, Isis wanted to be found out. She wanted to get help. Set could help her, but kept her trapped in the body that she had accidentally ended up in. If she had a face at the moment, she would have scowled. She instead sunk into a more annoyed mood, annoying her host. Her host was Eura Purr, a singer in a band that was going nowehre fast. Or would ever go anywhere.

Irritating her host was something Isis often did to calm herself. When she woke up in the afterlife, she grew as fast as her brother, but in different ways. At the age of 18 (in human years), Isis found that there was a hole in the afterlife, caused by many mediums channeling at once. She slipped through, expecting to come out in the body she would have had. However, she came out as a spirit. She knew how it worked - the same as in the afterlife. She had an idea. She would find her twin, and use him to get her own body... It was foolproof. However, she's accidentally gone over a bar where a band where playing. Of course, unknown to her, they were Eura's band. Down there, Eura held one note, and another of the mike's produced feedback, by accident. The two somehow disabled the spirit's ability to levitate, bringing her down, through the roof, and into Eura. Because of how weak she was, she settled on the edge of Eura's mind. Of course, she (and everyone else) and seen nothing, as spirit's were invisble to all but mediums, unless they were in the medium's body. Sadly, Eura had no training whatsoever, and had no plans to.

The next day, Eura heard voices in her head. While to most people, this was a sign of madness, Eura payed it no mind. Her minor narcissm had kicked in, making her believe she was perfect. Lying in her room, she realised the voice was talking to her. "Hello? Are you there? Oh, great. I've ended up in the body of an idiot. And with no powers either. And a massive ego." "Hey!" said Eura aloud. "Oh, she is alive. And a simpleton. Just think, OK? If that's not too hard for you. Actually, it probably is." "It isn't!" shouted Eura aloud. "Actually, it is. Now stop chatting to yourself and talk to me." "What do... You mean?" said Eura, finally catching on.

Ever since then, Isis had been under lock-and-key. Unless Eura started training to be a medium, which (as much as she hated Isis), wasn't likely. Or Set helped her. Slightly more likely. However, it had been over 5 years, and nothing at all. Isis was only released from Eura's mind-prison (accidentally made by Isis when she came into Eura's mind) if she was directly asked for. This meant "I want to talk to Isis." This was annoying, to say the least. Sometimes, however, Iris was just chucked into a situation Eura was in, and often struggled to cope with it. Often, Eura was asked to "show your other half", and couldn't. This was at doctors, who believed she had Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), judging by the sometimes 'changed' personality she had on stage. Of course, this 'other half' was Iris, who was rubbing her anger off on Eura. Set was going to be attempting to either; a) Send Isis back to the afterlife, or B) Getting her a host who wouldn't mind sharing their body. They were going to meet tonight, at a local coffee shop. They'd chosen an ideal time - about 11PM. This was ideal because it was when Eura was sleeping - and Set had given her a "sleeper". It was harmless enough, it would just keep Eura asleep until 6AM, at least. It would also stop the strain on her prison - she would be able to control the body while Eura was asleep.

That night, Isis crept out of Eura's apartment, locking the door, and using the lift, going up to the top floor, then going down. The reason was because she would draw attention to herself, looking like Eura, but not acting like her. Eura liked to show off - hard to keep yourself away from attention wearing sparkly clothes. Isis wore a sprit medium's garb - she had the right, as an offshoot, albeit distant, of the Fey family. She also kept her hood up - hiding Eura's long hair. She got to the coffee shop without a problem. Set was waiting, always early. She didn't greet him with a kiss - she was more likely to throttle him.

Set saw the person outside. Isis, of course. He sighed. She'd deliberately gone out of her way to distract attention from herself. It was the first thing he would've looked at. She walked into the shop, and sat down. She didn't remove her hood, for obvious reasons, but did look up at him. "I hate you." "Literally, or are you winding me up?"

10 minutes later, and they had finally stopped bickering. Isis had attacked Set (with words, not with physical contact). She was then reminded that Set was likely to be the only one who could help her, and she then had to try and apoligise for it. He did eventually accept the apology, and then went straight onto business.

"Body snatching?" she asked. "Yes, you heard it right. although the pronounciation's wrong. Bodysnatching, like that. Not body snatching." It's hard to communicate this in text form so I'll go through it. Bo-dy snatch-ing. That's five syllables. That's "body snatching". "Body-snatch-ing" Three syllables. That's "Bodysnatching".

"So, you just going to get a medium to leave thier mind blank, then get it for me?" asked Isis. "Not EXACTLY, but close. I'm going to find a willing medium, and get them to share their body with you. I have a pair in mind right now." came the reponse from Set. "Will I be able to leave the body this time?" "Yes. The two I'm thinking of both have great medium talents."

"You aren't giving this for free, are you?" "For once, I am. Let's say, after this, we're even for me killing you before you were born, yes?" "Done."

------

Some character development on Set... Oh, and this takes place the night before the trial, so just before what's happened in the previous chapter. Of course, this chapter can be conceived as "Not canon" to Lock of Lies, or any following stories. As Set's deterimed to keep Isis a secret, he doesn't reference her at all.

Oh, and the title's taken from the Manic Street Preacher album "This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours".

Isis' and Set's names: In case you've noticed, both Isis and Set are named after Egyptain gods. While Set (God of evil, and storms) is a good name for the charcter Isis isn't really fitting.
Isis has a name?: The name "Isis" was given to her by Set, when she first found him. Until then, she hadn't had a name.
Lock of Lies (Chapter 6)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

...Yeah, I got sidetracked. I have no inspiration for the next part of the trial I know what I want to happen, and I need to put it into words... Oh well.

Chapter 6

An Old Friend


Stefan Soan, Set's school-friend. He'd gone from being a medium to music. And he did both extremely well. set had lost contact with him over the years. And he wanted to talk to him; he had two hours to burn.

Soan was tricky; Set gave him that. The Russian/American man had practically dissappeared from LA. He had reports of him from other places, like Tokyo and London, but the last time he'd used a plane would be two months ago, coming here. Unless he'd illegally slipped out of the country, he was probably around here somewhere. He may have left the city; but Set was was feeling optimistic.

He eventually tracked him. He'd been admitted to the hospital three weeks ago with apendictius, and therefore should be healed by now. He assumed that Soan wouldn't do anything drastic; it wasn't in his younger nature. And unless he'd chanegd a fair bit, he wouldn't of changed much. He, after hacking into the libary's database to remove a book he'd borrowed and had no intention of giving back, found that Stefan's libary card had been used 5 minutes before. He quickly removed the loan, and went to the libary.

Set peered around. He had very little idea of what Soan looked like; although he hoped that his birthmark was still visible. Stefan had an odd symbol on his neck - he called it a birthmark. Set suspected it was a tattoo. He found someone with green hair, who had a similar mark on his neck. "Stefan Soan?" asked Set.

The man turned. Grey eyes, and his long green hair showed that it probably was Stefan. "Yes? Who are you?" asked Stefan (he'd just practically give Set confirmation).

"I am Set Sero." "Really?" "Of course." "I haven't seen you in years, Set. How are you?" "I am very good thank you, I can ask the same to you." "I'm holding up." "Good to hear."

"So, why did you come, Set?" asked Stefan, giving up on the banter. "What, is an old chat with a friend a crime?" "No, but you don't normally come for small talk." "Your quite right. I don't. However, I need a trial to finish, and I have two hours... no, excuse me. A hour and a half, now. Anyway, I need the trial to finish, and I wanted to get back in touch with you..." "Oh, stop lying and tell me." said Stefan.

"Fine, then. You've been to Kurain recently, have you not?" "I have, but..." "Good, because I need some information...


------

This chapter is more of a seed, then anything else. This is related to the story I have planned after Lock of Lies.
Lock of Lies Chapter 7Topic%20Title
User avatar

Four is Death

Gender: Male

Location: Wales. That little place next to England.

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:14 pm

Posts: 2284

Chapter 7

Second Chance


Set had gotten into the gallery, making the excuse of being late. He now sat up there, watching Heros get crushed. His master had ordered him to lend a hand to Heros, give him another chance. Set wasn't too happy to oblige, but Seth had been adamant. So, he knew what to do, and he had his target. He primed his pistol.

"OBJECTION! You can't prove that she was hitting the detonator that she was looking for in her bag!" said Heros, grasping at one of his last straws. "It's the most likely theory. replied Payne. "With herself there? And why hasn't the bag been presented as evidence?" "The bag is currently missing." "Enough. This line of questioning is pointless, Mr. Kree." said the judge. "Argh..." thought Heros. "Is there a line of questioning with a point?"

Set acted. The hypodermic hit Payne's leg, and he collapsed, screaming. Set made his leave, with the panicing public behind him. He went down to the Defendant's Lobby.

"My case is hopeless, then?" asked Marisa, plucking at her sleeve, down in the lobby. The bailiff's were surveying Payne's condition. "I just haven't reviewed anything... Sorry." replied Heros. He was just hiding the truth, hiding the inevitable sentence. It was impossible. It was all too likely. It all fitted together with bare strings... And he was bound and gagged. "Down so early, Mr. Kree?" came a voice. Heros turned. The man from the day before... Set.

"You gave me a hopeless case!" "Pshaw. Hardly. I simple came to give you something important." "What is it?" "Tad impatient, aren't you?" "Yes, because Marisa's life is in the balance!" Heros' voice rose. "Appealing to my good nature? You'd get more evidence from that clueless judge." "Hmmh." Heros restrained himself. It wasn't as if the steam coming out of his ear's wasn't evidence enough.

"Hmph. Here's the delaying factor." Set gave Heros two photos. He took them withou looking. "So... How will the trial proceed?" "There's another prosecutor in the building familiar with the case, and he took it up just now. The trial's being rebooted. Another chance to win. Good luck." Set made his leave of the building.

An Hour Later...

"This is the trial of..."

"HOLD IT!" came a voice. Heros looked at the prosecutor. He'd objected to something already? "Your Honour, that's old news, move on. We know why we're here. The defendant is accused of murder, I have to prove her guilty. My opening statement is a load of waffle saying "Hi, I'm here to get her the death penalty." I will then present evidence, which I will do so. Oh, for the court's information, I am Aser Amun."

"Now, hold here! I am running this court!" "So? I'm not willing to repeat to the court what they know - and what I know." Heros barely repressed a smirk. "Your wasting the courts time!" "Hardly. In fact, giving the statements would waste more time then we are now." "I will have to penalize you." "Oh, well."

"As your so keen on rushing... Call your..." "I call the detective in charge, Detective Recce." "Now, hold h...!" "Oh, shut up."

------

Reviews are love.
Page 1 of 1 [ 19 posts ] 
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  

 Board index » Present Evidence » Present Testimony

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 33 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Jump to:  
cron
News News Site map Site map SitemapIndex SitemapIndex RSS Feed RSS Feed Channel list Channel list
Powered by phpBB

phpBB SEO