Title: Turnabout Hotel
Author: Me (Purtail or TsukixKumori)
Rating: 13+
Genre: Humor
Status: (completed or not) Not Completed/In Progress
Pairing: (if applicable) Bits of different pairings, including Phoenix/Edgeworth, Adrian/Franziska, and Gumshoe/Maggey.
Summary: When the PW cast goes to a hotel for a seemingly relaxing weekend, chaos is sure to follow! Crack, various pairings throughout, AU-ish, and spoilers.

Turnabout Hotel

Chapter 1: The Reservations

Phoenix Wright slumped at his desk. The past few weeks had been nonstop paperwork, and he didn’t mind admitting he was exhausted. Finally, a long-awaited weekend had come and he could relax.

“Nick! Nick!” Practically falling off his chair, Phoenix began to get a bad feeling in his gut. His spirit medium partner came bursting into the room with a wide grin on her face. Her little cousin, Pearl, followed her.

“Guess what?! Pearly just got us tickets to a five-star hotel!” Maya’s cheerful exclamation made Phoenix twitch.

Swallowing hard, he stammered, “J-just u-us, Pearls? The three of us, right?”

Pearl shook her head with an innocent smile. “Of course not, Mr. Nick! It’s just for you and Mystic Maya! After all, every couple needs some private time, you know…” she sighed dreamily.

“W-what?! Pearly! When you said you booked a hotel for ‘us’, I thought you meant the three of us!” Maya protested.

Phoenix nodded. “Maya’s right. Come with us, Pearls.” He said, knowing he couldn’t get out of this.

Sighing, Pearl replied, “Okay…but at night I have to give you both some privacy!”

His face losing all color, Phoenix cried, “You’ve got it all wrong!”

“HEY! What’s all the commotion?” As if on cue, Detective Gumshoe entered the room with the same stupid grin he always had.

“Detective Gumshoe! You usually show up when someone dies…” Phoenix said, growing pale again.

With an odd look, Gumshoe replied, “Nah, not this time, pal. You okay? You seem kinda…white.”

An idea struck Phoenix suddenly. “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Hey, we were just talking about going to a five-star hotel. You know, in order to celebrate the weekend.”

“Wow, pal! Are you inviting me?” Gumshoe’s eyes seemed to glisten with tears of happiness.

The defense lawyer nodded. “If you want. How big is the room anyway, Pearls?”

Pearl giggled and blushed. “I got the biggest room they had! Two queen sized beds (I don’t know what those are, but it seemed perfect for Mystic Maya!) and a couple of couches as well. We have plenty of room!”

“Okay then. Invite anyone you like, Detective.” Phoenix said.

Gumshoe laughed. “Really? Well, I’m sure Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Godot would love to come!”

Phoenix grinned when he heard Edgeworth’s name. “Yes! I’m sure Miles would want to come. And Godot was released from jail? And so quickly too. It’s been, what, five months?”

“Yep! He says they let him out because he was too cool for that place, but I dunno.” The quaint detective replied. “Also…uh…mind if I invite Maggey?”

Chuckling, Phoenix replied, “Of course. Did you tell her how you feel yet?”

Gumshoe’s face scrunched up angrily in order to hide his blush. “W-What?! I don’t know what you’re talking about, pal!”

“Sure, Detective. Sure.” The lawyer replied, snickering with Maya and Pearl.

---

“Hey Edgeworth!” Phoenix called from Gumshoe’s car, waving. They had already driven to the hotel, and met the prosecutors. He ran up and tackled the man in pink to the ground.

“Nick! Jeez…control your excitement.” Maya said, rolling her eyes and getting out of the car with Pearl. Gumshoe drove off to the parking lot.

Irritated, Edgeworth looked up. “Hello to you too, Wright. Detective Gumshoe told me about your orders to invite anyone we wish. So, I took the liberty of asking Franziska to come. She tried to call Adrian Andrews, but she was busy. So, in her place, Matt Engarde and Juan Corrida are coming.”

Phoenix blinked. I don’t remember “ordering” anyone to invite people…but never mind that…F-Franziska is coming? I wonder if Gumshoe knows…

A sudden crack of a whip to his skull interrupted his thoughts. Sure enough, Franziska von Karma appeared in front of him. “Hello, Phoenix Wright. How have you been?” Her tone was angry, despite her casual words.

“U-um, I’ve been fine. You, Franziska?” Another whip collided with his body, and he yelped in pain.

With a crocodile-like smile, the prosecutor replied, “I’ve been fine as well.”

“Ah, Lady von Whippingburg, and Mr. Magenta, hey.” A familiar voice sounded from behind the group. A memorable man with a silver mask along with a cup of coffee smirked and took a sip of the dark liquid.

“Mr. Godot! You look well. I heard you got out of jail quickly. Must’ve took some sort of Godot-esque charm, huh?” Maya said, smirking.

The masked man snickered. “Is coffee delicious without the beans? I think not.”

Argh…more Coffeenese? Phoenix thought, sweating.

“Anyway,” Godot continued, “This place is supposed to have some damn good coffee. For your sake, Trite, I hope it’s worth it. Otherwise, this trip would be just a latte. I prefer my coffee solid black, thank you.”

“Still as confusing as ever, Godot.” Franziska chimed in, obviously annoyed by the man’s coffee riddles.

Edgeworth cleared his throat. “In any case, it would be wise to enter the hotel if we plan to stay.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“R-right, Miles.” Phoenix said, flinching as he caught himself calling the prosecutor by his first name. The group strolled into the lobby of the five-star hotel.

Staring in awe at the beautiful lobby lined with golden wallpaper and carpet, Phoenix almost forgot they were still expecting some people. Maggey appeared in his face faster than he had time to think, saluting him as she did so.

“Mr. Wright! Hello!” she greeted.

“Hey there Maggey.” He smiled back, getting an uncomfortable glare from Gumshoe as he entered through the doors.

“Oh, that’s right…Ms. Von Karma, didn’t you invite two other people?” Maya asked the whip-happy woman.

She nodded. “Those foolish fools could not even foolishly hope to foolishly take the foolish place of Adrian.”

Twitching, Edgeworth nodded. “Y-yes, well where are these two gentlemen?”

“You rang?”

It turns out that the two of them were already waiting on the other side of the lobby. Matt’s thick brown hair seemed to shine in the light of the cliché golden lamps and was set in the usual fashion of hanging limply over his right eye. He was wearing his usual racer jacket.

Juan, on the other hand, was dressed in comfortable attire with a piece of grass hanging from his lips. He had on a warm smile.

Yep. They’re the real deal Nickel Samurai and Jammin’ Ninja, alright. Phoenix could not help but think.

“So, this Whippy chick over here invited us. I already called my manager and everything. So dude, where do we, um, sign in?” Matt asked.

Franziska prepared to whip him, but poor Gumshoe caught the lash instead. “Foolish fools!” she screeched. “You were here before us; you both should have checked in!”

Matt shrugged. “I totally didn’t know. Sorry.”

Juan glared in his direction slightly. “Well, I apologize Ms. Von Karma. I guess I’ll check in for us…” he stepped towards the main desk, only to be shoved aside by Engarde. The Nickel Samurai was sprinting at full speed to the desk.

Instantly, Juan charged after him, screaming, “YOU BASTARD! Even during a relaxing vacation!?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, dude! All I know is that the Nickel Samurai PWNS the Jammin’ Ninja ANYDAY.” Matt cried back, reaching the desk and slamming his hands onto it.

“Erm…can I help you?” the clerk shakily asked.

“THAT’S IT YOU’RE DEAD!” Juan hissed, tackling Matt to the ground. He began to punch the man roughly until Matt managed to pin him down.

“Dude, chill.” He tried to say, but Juan was desperately trying to harm him in anyway possible.

Phoenix and the others could just stand there, completely baffled by the two men’s behavior. A grumble came from beside the spiky-haired lawyer. Looking over, he noticed that Godot was furiously drinking his coffee, Franziska was readying her whip, and Edgeworth was irately tapping his foot.

All three of the prosecutors looked ready to burst with wrath, so Phoenix promptly walked past the feuding actors up to the desk. “Uh, reservations for Wright please.” He calmly said above the various growls and curses from below.

“O-of course sir.” The girl behind the desk said, obviously terrified of the strange group. She handed Phoenix the key.

“Thanks.” He answered, walking up to the men acting like stray cats, and pried Matt off of Juan. The group folowed him up to the room without a word, feeling a dark cloud storming above the usual happy-go-lucky Phoenix Wright.

---

Firstly, why does Gumshoe burst in at the start? It's undeeded, and it could just as easily be done via a phone call. (i.e. Gumshoe gets the wrong number) If it really is needed, then please come up with a reason for him to come in.

Yeah, I just wanted to point that out. Although I love the crack. Juan and Engarde are still alive.

How do you pronounce 'pwn' anyhow? Porn? Pawn?

I like the chapter anyway

This will be epic. I can already tell.

It's a secret. ;3 Okay, but seriously, I don't know. He just kinda overheard I guess. Gumshoe does tend to pop in at convenient times. Or maybe he forgot when he heard what was up. Or maybe it's just me being lazy and thinking of excuses for my poor writing skills. ....

Pwn...uh...I think it's "Poe-n" (Like, Edger Allen Poe? That Poe...and then "n")

---

PWN is actually pawn, OWN was just a slip of the finger but it became popular.

hopefully this clears a few things up.

I know whare it originates from, it's like saying ZOMG in real life, it can't be done.