Maya: Hey, Nick!
Phoenix: Hm?
Maya: Stop scrubbing the toilet and listen!
Phoenix: What is it? This had better not be another spirit medium training camp...or anything else like that. I'm not standing under a freezing waterfall or...(Ow!)
Pearl: Don't insult Master Mystic Maya like that.
Maya: Yeah, Nick.
Phoenix: *sigh*
Maya: I have three invitations to Edgeworth's birthday.
Phoenix: ...He what?
Pearl: I wanna go.
Maya: That's why there are three invites.
Phoenix: May I see that invitation? (Hmm...'You are invited to my birthday party. Are you happy now?' Funny. I never imagined Edgeworth would have a party. Much less invite us. Seems genuine, though.)
Maya: What are you waiting for? Let's go.
Pearl: Yeah. I want to see Mr. Eh-ji-worth.
Phoenix: Well, I am curious about who else he invited.

Maya: Wow! This place is huge!
Edgeworth: I told you to get out of my sight!
???: But Edgeworth...
Edgeworth: LEAVE!
Pearl: Mr. Eh-ji-worth's scary.
Maya: It's okay, Pearly. I'm sure he's just...um...
Phoenix: Pearls, how about you tour the mansion for a while?
Pearl: Hmm...Okay. *Pearl leaves*
Phoenix: Ow! (Who just bumped into me?)
Maya: Are you okay, Phoenix?
Phoenix: I-I think so.
Edgeworth: Wright, what are you doing on the floor?
maya: Happy birthday, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Hm? Oh, thanks.
Phoenix: (Edgeworth seems distracted) Um...so who were you talking to?
Edgeworth: what did you hear?!
Phoenix: N-nothing. (Wow, strange.)
Maya: I-it's your birthday, Edgeworth. Cheer up!
Edgeworth: I'm as happy as can be.
Phoenix: (There's no need to get sarcastic!)
Maya: Good for you, Edgeworth.
Phoenix: That was sarcasm, Maya.
Maya: Oh...
???: Woah! Who died in here?
Edgeworth: Don't mention death on my birthday!
Phoenix: Ow! What are you hitting me for?
Edgeworth: Trust me. Everyone's wanted to do that at some point.
???: Now, now, Edgy. no need to be mean.
Phoenix: You're unusually joyful, larry. Especially after Melinda dumped you.
Larry: !...It's a birthday, you know. I can't kill the mood, you know?
Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: ...
Maya: ...
Larry: Come on. Don't stare at me like that. It's scary!
Maya: He's right. We should be partying. Par-tay! Food!
Edgeworth: Umm...Food?
Maya: Come on. You at least have to have appetizers.
Edgeworth: Well...
Maya: You can't be serious! No food?
Larry: You know, I'm kind of hungry myself.
Phoenix: *whip* Ow! what did I do?
???: A foolhardy fool fools fools who foolishly follow the foolish fool.
Larry: Nice to see you again, Franzy. *whip* Ow!
Franziska: Don't call me that!
Larry: Did you enjoy Franzy's Whip Lash Splash? *whip* Ow!
Franziska: I told you not to call me that! If you ever do anything like that again, you will taste my whip!
Maya: *glare*
Franziska: ...But I can't say it's without effort.
Phoenix: (He's tearing up.)
Franziska: You!
Edgeworth: Me?
Franziska: I flew all the way from Germany to come to this party, and you don't even act happy to see me!
Edgeworth: Hmm...Nice to see you.
Phoenix: (Okay. That didn't sound forced at all.) *whip* Ow!
Franziska: No thinking sarcastically.
Maya: Umm...Nick?
Phoenix: Yeah?
Maya: Am I next?
The suspense! The next couple parts of the chapter will be shorter. ((Sorry about the bad cut-off point))

Phoenix: Well...*whip* Ow!
Franziska: Don't whisper about me. ...Happy birthday, Miles Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Hm? Oh, thanks.
Phoenix: (Is that how he'll respond every time he's told that?)
???: Woah! Hey, pal! Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible.
Edgeworth: Your car broke down again.
Gumshoe: Th-that's amazing, sir! How did you know?
Franziska: ...Foolish fool.
Gumshoe: Uh-oh! It's Franziska Von Karma! *cringe* Hm? You're not whipping me.
Franziska: I've decided to take it easy today. It is a birthday party after all.
Phoenix: (Tell that to my back.) *whip* Ow! What did I do?
Franziska: You were just being a foolishly foolhardy fool.
Maya: Ha, ha. You're a fool, Nick.
Phoenix: (It's not funny, Maya.) I didn't say anything.
Franziska: You didn't have to. It was all over your face.
Maya: It's true, Nick. Even I could tell what you were thinking.
Gumshoe: Sorry, pal, but it's true.
Edgeworth: Sorry, Wright.
Larry: Yeah, Nick.
Phoenix: (When did this turn to me?)
Maya: So, Gumshoe, where's Maggey?
Gumshoe: Oh, she had to work tonight, pal.
Maya: No way!
Gumshoe: Tres bien has been getting more popular since the new chef started working there. The prices are still outrageous, but at least the food's good.
Maya: You had food from Tres Bien?
Gumshoe: Yeah...What?
Maya: So, who's the new chef?
Gumshoe: Some weird old person. *whip* Ow!
Franziska: You can't call someone else wierd, Scruffy.
???: Umm...Hello? Am I at the right place?
Phoenix: I-Iris. (Pearls would hit me right about now.) *whip* Ow! What was that for?
Franziska: Nothing. I'm just taking Pearl's place.
Iris: Sorry I'm late. There was a huge traffic jam. Somebody's car broke down in the middle of the highway.
Maya: You can drive, Iris?
Iris: Well, yes, I...Why's everyone staring at Gumshoe?
Gumshoe: Yeah, why me, pal?
This is the best cut-off point I could find.

???: Dinner is served.
Phoenix: Why does that voice sound so familiar?
Edgeworth: You can't tell me you don't remember him, Wright.
Phoenix: Y-you're that bellboy!
Bellboy: If you would all just follow me into the dining room...
Maya: Nick, I'll go get Pearly.
Phoenix: Right. *Maya leaves*
Gumshoe: Let's eat, pal.

Edgeworth: Wright, we're waiting for Maya and Pearl. If they're not here in five minutes, we're eating without them.
Phoenix: Umm...Okay. (I guess I'd better go fing Maya.)

Phoenix: (Hmm...It doesn't look like they're here.) Ow!
Pearl: How dare you, Mr. Nick.
Maya: P-Pearly...
Pearl: Leaving Master Mystic Maya alone!
Phoenix: S-sorry. (She hits hard.)
Maya: It's okay, Pearly.
Pearl: Do you even care about Master Mystic Maya?
Phoenix: Of course I do. Ow!
Pearl: Liar.
Phoenix: I-I wasn't lying. Anyway, Edgeworth says if you want to eat, you'd better follow me to the dining room.
Maya: Food! Let's go, Pearly.
Pearl: Okay. Don't let it happen again, Mr. Nick.
Phoenix: I won't. *sigh*

Edgeworth: Now that everybody's here, let's eat.
Gumshoe: Aren't you going to do an announcement or speech or something?
Maya: Yeah. It is your birthday, after all.
Franziska: Fools. ...What are you waiting for, Miles Edgeworth?
Iris: ...Go for it, Mr. Edgeworth.
Larry: Yeah, Edgey.
Pearl: Mr. Nick?
Phoenix: What is it?
Pearl: What are they talking about?
Phoenix: Oh. Well...um...
Edgeworth: Very well. *Ahem* I'm glad you could all join me tonight. Um...I didn't prepare a speech, so...um...
Phoenix: (Edgeworth seems nervous.)
Edgeworth: I...um...I suppose you...are getting hungry...so...um...let's
eat.
Phoenix: (Edgeworth looks so embarrassed.)
Maya: Why are you smiling, Nick?
Gumshoe: Whooooop! Go, Edgeworth! Yeah!

Gumshoe: You were amazing, pal.
Edgeworth: Um...Thanks, I guess.
Maya: Let's have some cake!
Phoenix: Um...Maya, you just ate.
Maya: Yeah, but I have a separate stomach for cake.
Phoenix: (She officially has more stomachs than a cow.) Ow!
Pearl: Master Mystic Maya wants cake, so give her cake!
Maya: I-it's okay, Pearly.
Phoenix: (Oh, brother.)
Bellboy: The cake is ready, Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Very well. Bring it in.
Maya: Yay! Cake! I almost want to eat it right off the tray.
Phoenix: (It's sad that I have no problem picturing that.)
Edgeworth: Wright.
Phoenix: Hm?
Edgeworth: You cut the cake.
Phoenix: Why me? *whip* Ow!
Franziska: Foolish fool...It's Miles Edgeworth's birthday.
Larry: Yeah, Nick.
Gumshoe: I'll tell you why! *flashback*
Edgeworth: I'm so glad you could come, Gumshoe.
Gumshoe: Yes, sir!
Edgeworth: I guess all that's left to do is cut the cake. Ow!
Gumshoe: Oh, no! Edgeworth! *back to the present* Thankfully, he only almost chopped his finger off. I took him to the hospital. He had to get bandages and everything, pal.
Edgeworth: I told you not to mention that!
Phoenix: Oh, that's nothing. One time, I...*everybody glares at him* um...I'll just cut the cake.

Edgeworth: Wright, can I see you in private?
Phoenix: Um...Okay.
Edgeworth: And bring that knife. I'll need you to cut something for me.
Phoenix: O-okay. (This is strange...)

Edgeworth: Wright, I don't know how to...say this, but...um...well...
Phoenix: What's that you have on the table?
Edgeworth: A present I'm too afraid to open.
Phoenix: Well, let me open it.
Edgeworth: No! Stop!

Phoenix: (Hm? Where am I? What's that smell?) *opens eyes* (Blood! Where's Edgeworth?! Oh, God! I have to find him!) *picks up knife from the floor* (I-is this-The MURDER WEAPON?!) Aaaaah!!! *drops knife* *door opens*
???: What's going on in here? *gasp* F-Fooooooooool!!!
Phoenix: *thud*
That's it for Chapter 1.