A very sweet ending and you managed to wrap up the story nicely. You have a good, clean conclusion without loose ends leftover (which I know from experience is harder then it looks ) and it was cute. Nice work! I look forward to more stories from you.

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Aww...you mentioned my sig work in public! That's so sweet! I had begun to wonder if my latest prototypes met your criteria. Am I correct to take this as a yes? Speaking of sweetness, as sweet as this public mention is, it can't hold a candle to the conclusion for When the Wall Crumbles. Beautiful ending. It'll be interesting to see if I can conclude my own works with such finesse. I have yet to write a true ending... That reminds me: I'm coming pretty close to finishing Chapter IV. With a little luck, the long-awaited update should be up soon.

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I just read this whole thing at once and I love it. Great job.

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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I've been reading this fic thoroughly, and even though I don't think much on this pairing, I LOVED YOUR WORK! REALLY I DID!

I liked the Feenie + Iris hints, so it's all good with me

That said, hope you make more Feenris fics!

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I REALLY liked this story, because everyone else just seems to portray Franziska and cold and robotic, but you showed her actual feelings and thought processes and what was beneath the cover (which kind of made the story), basically continuing from what happened at the end of JFA.
^_^ And I love this pairing, heh.. (Franny/Adrian WTF, NO!!!!!I hate Adrian so much)
Well done =D

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Franziska & Miles.

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Plot
I liked the plot, and the way you delved into Miles and Franziska's past was handled quite well.

Criticism
This criticism is connected to some parts that I liked, so don't lose face just because this section is long. The most significant issue I had was my difficulty believing your portrayal of Franziska, as well as how quick her transition was. I'll admit that she does have a softer side, but that does not necessarily mean that she is not prideful. The same applies with Miles; even after his own transition, he was still a very proud man. While I'm on the topic of character portrayal, I feel I should add that they both seemed too... I can't think of a perfect way to phrase this; hopefully this will do: "bathed in light." One thing that makes me admire Miles and Franziska is the darkness that exists within them--their uncertainty, their perceived weaknesses, their desire to be stronger, and their occasionally foolish pride (especially their pride). I also have trouble picturing either of them being as passionate in romance as you portrayed them. In essence, I imagine this story could have done just as well using a different couple.

Personal Thoughts
My guess is that you interpreted Franziska's tears in Justice for All differently than I did, thus causing the difference between my view of her and your view. If that interpretation is the reason behind your portrayal of Franziska, then please disregard my criticism of it.

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First off, thanks for taking the time to read it. I know how romance stories aren't your cup of tea, but I appreciate the time you took to read it

Now, I understand what you mean by their... "darkness within" traits, is how I'll put it. This story really was more of a protrayal of Franziska's growth, not necessarily Miles's, though I cannot deny that I did attempt at his. I was using Fran's "wall" as her pride that she shows most often; however, while in most characters like Fran, we all know that really behind that 'wall of pride' is really more of a softer side. However, I was attempting something a little different: that Franziska wasn't using her 'true strength'. Here's how I characterized Franziska: due to the pressures of her father (and from herself), she is forced to put up this 'wall' to protect herself so that no one can see the damage this pressure is doing to herself. So while many saw a prideful Franziska, there were a few that could perceive that inside, she's not really so 'hard-core' (if that's a pun, I did not intend it ). BUT, and here's where my strange attempt at something different, Franziska actually has an inner strength that she "hasn't been using". Basically, it's supposed to relate to the whole theme of "truth" in Phoenix Wright. I'm not sure if I can explain this correctly, but basically, once Franziska discovers what Miles had to discover for himself, she, in essence, is able to a) live with herself and b) become a better keeper of the law. Am I making any sense?

Here was my issue with Miles: I needed someone who would be 'assertive' in the relationship. I also had trouble with his 'motives'. That's why he seems... awkward. I understand what you mean about that both characters seemed 'bathed in light'. I know this is silly, but in my mind, I tend to relate Miles and Franziska with Riku from Kingdom Hearts. However, in this story, I was attempting to have Miles be, as it is said in the story, "a light in Franziska's darkness". This obviously can have two symbolisms: a) that he teaches her about the meaning of finding "truth" (light can symbolize truth) and b) that he's also like her happiness in her life. I guess I find it a little strange that Franziska, in my story, was perceived as too much 'bathed in light' only because she indeed was in the dark before the events in this fanfic took place. However, perhaps, unwittingly, I had both characters become 'bathed in light' in the end. Ah well, different ways.

I'm going to present my interpretation of Franziska's tears in relation to my protrayal of her in my story. To me, Franziska had part of her 'wall' broken at that point, you could say. It was probably a mix of Miles trying to tell her the meaning of being a prosecutor (which conflicted to what her dear papa told her) and (dare I say it?) a little bit of the fact that Miles said something along the lines of: "If you choose a different path, then this is our good-bye" (I think you can get where I'm going with this. Curse my shipping mind!). To be honest, to fit the story I was weaving, that's how I envisioned it.

And yes, the romance part. Indeed, it was out-of-character, but otherwise, I don't really have an explanation for that. Sorry, no psychological endeavors for this one!

I knew when I first wrote this fanfic (since it was indeed my first) that it would be... different. Actually, this was my first ever fanfic for any video game or anime. So that's why... er, I think you understand?

Pleasure exploring characters' psyches with you! Sorry, I have this strange facination with psychology, and it can get to the better of me sometimes. *sigh* I really wish, though, that I was actually good at it...

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To start, I'm fine with romance stories; most of the stories I've written focus heavily on romance, although I try to avoid making romance the only subject of the stories. One significant difficulty in writing a romance story is keeping people in character during the more passionate scenes.

Also, I try to make a habit of reading and reviewing the stories written by people who took the time to read and review mine. I can both help them improve as well as learn from them. Sometimes you learn better from the actions of others than you do from your own actions.

Moving on, it appears most of my criticism stems from my different interpretation of Franziska. Your own interpretation showed in your portrayal of her. Moving on, I will still commend you for your effort; Miles and Franziska are both difficult characters to portray properly (let alone in a romance story) because of their personalities.

The theme of truth in the Ace Attorney games did show itself quite prominently in your story, so I'm glad to see that it wasn't by accident. I still have a bit of an issue with the speed of Franziska's transition, though--perhaps something you should keep an eye out for in future stories. Still, the storyline connected well to the theme, and I give you credit for that.

And I can also understand Miles's change in personality in order to fit the role you gave him. One major issue with giving someone a role is making sure they are fit for it, which is why some of my better stories use original characters rather than pre-made ones. [chuckles] Ah, Riku... He's definitely one of the more complex characters of the series--probably why so many people enjoy writing about him. I can see the connections between his character and that of Miles--they both accept the darkness, yet they also take care to avoid completely immersing themselves in it. However, going further into that topic is partially digressing from the subject at hand: your story. He was definitely assertive--to the point that he seemed out of character. It would be wise to keep a character's own limits in mind when giving them a role. I fear I may have done that a few times in my own story (particularly Chapter 1, which I have revised to make Mia more realistic).

As for the more passionate scene, I wouldn't be surprised if I encountered similar problems later on in my own story. Still, you handled it relatively well--although there still was room for improvement. Hopefully, I'll be able to use what I've learned from your story to make such scened in mine work just as well as--if not better than--yours.

Finally, I, too, enjoy psychology. People like Miles, as well as odd relationships, are what I call "the playthings of psychologists." I wouldn't be surprised if my fascination with Miles's mind is what made him my favorite character in the first place.

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Ah, in any case, thanks.



I suppose that's why. Well, they were rather difficult, but I'm glad that somehow I was able to pull it off.



I wasn't going to make the fanfic a longer one, so that is probably the reason for that 'transition' problem. I think another issue is that I unwittingly felt 'rushed' for no apparent reason, so in the future, I'll learn to slow it down.



Yes, when I realized that problem, I knew I had to make a decision. Well, in order to keep the story moving, I had to let him be that way. In my current fanfic, I only have one character who's canon; the rest are OC's, so it should give an interesting practice for me.
Riku's character always did seem to facinate me; like you said, that's why I like Edgeworth, as well. I made the connection almost immidiately, which is a little sad... In any case...



I suppose my story can be an example of what not to do, eh? I think with your story, it may be... interesting only because Lana is different from Franziska and their fears of being part of a relationship with Miles are pretty different (or at least, I view them differently; I'm not sure how you'll be characterizing Lana in a romantic scene) Well, at least I didn't completely fail. I'm still pretty young; hopefully practice will help me improvement



Ah, I completely agree. "The Playthings of psychologists"... hm, interesting concept! I guess I like digging into characters' minds and try to figure out how they'd react with a given situation. Unfortunately, I sometimes hypothesize their reaction incorrectly because at the same time, I'm trying to write a story Sometimes I succeed in the whole concept of letting the "characters speak/act for themselves" but lack of experience was prevented me from fully reaching this concept.

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If I may ask, how many fan fictions have you written?

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No problem, though I'm intrigued by your curiosity

On this forum, I've completed two fanfictions (you've commented on both of them) and am in the process of another: Flawless Achievement.

Overall? Well, I used to be part of this one forum for this series of mystery computer games, but they weren't fanfiction. You just rewrote the ending to the mystery game, and that was it. I wrote three of those, as well.

Otherwise, Phoenix Wright is the first "anime-based" game that I've ever written fanfiction for.

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*Scratches chin* Reading reviews as long as the chapters themselves, it's these things that slaughter my lunch break.

The fun thing about fanfiction is that every writer's perception of the characters is different and the idea's of the writer will differ greatly depending on their perception of the characters. This is why we have Phoenix paired with everyone from Maya to Violetta, it's a matter of perception.

While I might agree that Franny did seem to change a little bit quickly, she also had a lot of things pressing her. While she is a very foolishly prideful person, by the time the third game came out I think she was already a bit on the path to searching for personal truth.

Miles was a bit assertive, however we have to factor in that we rarely see Miles in a one on one situation with someone that he cares about and trusts, in fact, I'm not sure we ever get to see it. The way a person acts when in a crowd and the way they act with the people closest to them are often times two very different things, Edgy's actions could easilly be described as just the difference in comfort level that he has from when we normally get to see him, compaired to how he acts around people that he loves.

I really love Edgeworth's character, there are portions of it that remind me of myself and nothing rocks more than being able to relate to a character. As I read this one, I never really felt that Edgey was acting overly OOC based on the situations he was in, if for no other reason than that many of the situations he's presented with are much different than ones we get to see him in.

Not much different with Fran either, she's faced with feelings and emotions that she's not comfortable nor familiar with. She can see, if only on a subconsious level that her approach to bringing justice was wrong, and every defeat she suffered she deserved. You put enough pressure on someone, even if they are prideful they will eventually crack. Heck, we see it at the end of every case in the games, where the evidence piles up to the point that the real baddie fesses up finally. Even Manny Von Karma Mr. Perfection incarnate eventually gives up and admits to his crimes.

While a little slower change and pace might have been a little better, I still feel that this story fit together pretty well.

Oh, and thanks for leaving a review on this story General Luigi, it gave me some ideas on how to review this a bit more fully, which I wanted to do, but didn't really think of how. Remind me to check out your story sometime.

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The reason why I asked is that I saw a few of the same things in your works as I saw in my own earlier stories. The same mistakes, but also the same strengths. Oddly enough, those early stories are the only ones I've truly finished. Still, your chapters are worlds longer than the ones from my early works, not to mention the weaknesses in your works are much less prominent in my eyes.

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Hey, Zeon! Long time no see! Lol, ah, sorry 'bout your poor lunchbreak




While that's true, I think the issue is that sometimes I shouldn't lear too far away from the character's personality.



I reread my first chapter and realized the mistakes I made. I made it seem like Franziska changed so quickly when in reality, I was trying to get the reader into her mindset that she's had before. I don't think it was written well enough, though, for the reader to make her mindset believeable, therefore it looked like she took a nosedive and changed. I don't know, though.



That's a good point. I think that got me into some trouble; I mean, we don't really know how he reacts in a situation like this. Like I said before, I had to make him assertive enough to keep the story moving.



True. I was trying to have Franziska wrestle with what she's been brought up with and what a) someone she cares about says and b) what probably is right. Basically, is Franziska able to shove her pride out of the way and face the 'truth'? And is she comfortable with letting people see what she is inside her wall? I was trying to have Franziska fearful of letting go with her pride. I think, besides the lesson of letting the truth come out, the other lesson you could say "Miles taught her" was that she doesn't need her 'wall of pride' to succeed. That's where the 'inner strength' cliche comes in.



Looking back, I agree with both you and General Luigi. I also think the problem is, well, I wasn't sure what to put between the events. In the future, I'll have to plan better



You should check it out. It's very well written.




Huh, interesting. Looks like I have a chance, eh? Well, hopefully I can take your advice, granted you got the experience, and make my writing better. I mean, just because it was "less prominent" doesn't mean I can't fix the mistakes, right?

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Hey haven't seen you in awhile!

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It's a tricky thing to write that. I think I grasped it because I kinda had the idea that Franny was on the road to self discorvery even before the Phoenix Story arc ended, so the idea of things pushing her down that road a bit quicker didn't strike me as very odd. To a person who didn't have that take on Franny though, they might thing it's too quick.



The way I see it, if you're writing for a character in a situation that you have no cannon evidence as to how they would act in that situation, you get a bit of leeway. Like I sauid before, I had no issues with how you portrayed Edgey ^_^




Yeah, I know that feeling pretty well, I didn't have that problem much with Decisive Evidence because it's not much of a streatch of the imagination to see Phoenix and Maya happy together, neither of their personalities would have to change since they already hit it off really well. Edgey and Fran however need a little wiggle room. I think that's why pure romance stories are a bit of a pain to write and why usually people do stories on other things and sprinkle in romance when possible.




Anyway, I still feel this story was great warm fuzzy and nifty, hope you keep up the good work.

Wow...random thought, but I wonder if anyone would pair Edgeworth and Charlie (The potted plant in Wright's office) That my friends would be a total crack paring.

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This is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read. It brought tears to my eyes, and I'm reading it at work!


I don't usually read fanfic because so much of it is abysmal. Your story was well-written and your characterization was amazing. Although the pairing isn't necessarily "canon", none of the characters acted "out of character" and it was very believable. It did tend to go a little quickly, but much slower than most fanfic I've read. Maybe it just seemed faster because I was enjoying it.

Thank you so much for putting so much time into this most excellent story. I think I'm going to save it into a Word document so I don't lose it, and can go back and read it again. <3

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I swear, these older stories come back to haunt me!



Well, hey! It's nice to hear from you again! Yeah, this old topic came up again, lol.



That's very true. Still, if this story for some reason is still getting reviews by people, I may considering rewriting that chapter. While I wrote the first chapter, I wasn't quite sure how everything was going to be put together quite yet, so now that I know where the road ends, I can repave the beginning.



Thanks, I appreaciate the 'leeway'.



Yeah, since this was my first every fanfic, I didn't exactly have an idea for a plot along with the romance. Actually, with my ideas for my other favorite pairings, I do have plot ideas, interestingly enough. I have a huge one planned for Apollo/Vera, but I'm debating about making that into a sprite comic or not. I've already created the sprite characters for it, anyways (now I just need a photobucket account )




Aw, thanks. I really need to get in the mood and write the next chapter for my current fanfic, though...

Charlie and Edgeworth? Eh, I have no experience, nor the ideas, for a pairing between a human and an inanimate object. I could barely do a yuri or a yaoi story, much less a... crap, what are they called? Doujin? I don't know the terminology for this stuff! lol



It was a pleasure to write; I'm glad you enjoyed it (I love that smiley too much) Thank you for the compliments. I'm glad you took the time to read it.

Word document, you say? Why, I'm honored, lol.

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I don't really think that human and plant pairing would have a technical name. I'd say most people don't think of insane things like that. Though the mental condition would probably be called Bontanaphillia Love of plants. Or something along those lines.

Ohh, a Won Karma cosplayer, yes yes, very nice. See Caelestis? Franny herself approves of this story. I feel as if I can get away with saying this because the picture above lacks her whip.

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http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/teamrocketrose/1568787.jpg
It is foolishly presumptuous of you to foolishly assume that I don't have my whip!


Seriously though, I do love this story. I hadn't given much thought to this pairing and this story has definitely changed my outlook. The only part that seems just a bit too convenient was the wedding ring. Of course, there are things in the AA series that are also "too convenient"...

I did like the background characters, like Larry taking on the dares at the restaurant and the responses from Pearls. I think that's what I liked about this story so much as opposed to a lot of romance fic that only contains the two main characters - there was a backdrop for this story that helped it fit into the AA universe. And the little bits of backstory were nice too. I always like to see little snippets into characters' lives that we don't get to see much of in the main plot.

I'm looking forward to reading your other stories too.

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Gahhh! Whippage!

Yeah, the background people were pretty cool in this story, I should have done more to put things like that in my PhoenixXMaya, though I did give serveral of them a spot or two I guess.

Grrr...all this reading is giving me the writing itch again...

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*gets out of the whip's way in time* Lol, that's an awesome picture, Rose!

Ah, writer's itch... I know the feeling. I ned to get back to my current fanfic before... um, I don't know.

Thanks for reading, everybody! I'd give ya'll cookies... ah heck, cookie for everyone!

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very nice, i have always liked this shipping

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Hah, who'd have thought this old fic would come back to haunt me? Just kidding

Anyway, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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