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JaronWhites Request And Read ThreadTopic%20Title
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Shh, Colorfull Phoenix is thinking

Gender: None specified

Location: Texas

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:47 pm

Posts: 22

Feel free to give me request on this thread.

Name:Turnabout Night
Genre:None
Rating:G
Status:Finished
This is nothing but a shorty i wrote, I'll make a full one under request.
Spoiler:
Phoenix was returning to his office at night, He found maya watching a old tape of "The Steel Samurai" Phoenix then sighed slightly mumbling "Why is she still watching those old tapes" Placing Ron Engrerve's file in his Not Guilty foldier, The thunder began to roar outside as rain was falling from the sky, The power died out and maya yelled out "NIIICK! THE POWER IS OUT!" Phoenix covered his ear shouting out "Well, IT IS THUNDERING!" Phoenix than got off his chair sighing He then grabbed a flash light off the shelf turning it on walking to maya saying "Come on..Lets close up..They both left the office with the flashlight, Maya called a cab outside and went to her apartment, As for phoenix, He got on his bike and began riding,Phoenix then almost to his apartment his bike wheels were in a puddle of mud causing him to loose track on the road and crash into the bush, His bike slided across the road falling apart, He sighed grabbing his bike parts and dragging his bike to his house.


Name:Turnabout Maya
Rating:T
Genre:Action
Status:CANCELLED :payne:
Spoiler:
Maya went into the office to find the lights off, She slowly turned them on, saying "Nick? Nick? Are you here?" She sighed thinking to her self "I guess i will have to get burgers by my self..And pay for them.." As she walked to Phoenix's computer she saw a strange shadow She walked up saying "Uhh..Is anyone back there?" As she walked over she saw De Killer, He had a knife, De Killer shoved the knife deeply into Maya's chest causing her to scream out loud, Phoenix was going up the steps, He heard her scream and began to run up the steps, Maya then dropped on the floor holding her chest wimpering, Her blood was slowly flowing across the carpet, De Killer went out the open window and went down a rope, Phoenix kicked down the door to see Maya, She softly and painfully said out "Ni-Nick..D-De killer..H-He did it..Hel-" She fell on the floor unconcious, Phoenix picked up his phone quickly dialing 911, and called the cops, and the paramedic's, The police found the murder weapon, It had De Killer's hand prints, He was tracked down and arrested, Phoenix went to visit Maya at the hospital, Once at the hospital, He went to Maya's room, But was stopped before heading into her room, The doctor said out "We're sorry..Ms.Fey..She will not be with us anymore..Phoenix gasped, slightly dropping a tear, He walked out of the hospital, And went to the Kurain Village to tell pearl...He went up to pearl saddly saying "Pearls..I got some bad news...Ma-I mean, Mystic Maya, Is...Dead." Pearl then gasped and ran off crying to the hospital, Phoenix went to the hospital and saw Pearl, She was sitting on the bench crying, Phoenix then throught to him self "I can't believe she is dead...Wait! There is a way i can know what happened!" He ran up to Pearl and said "Pearls, You can still channel, Correct?" Pearl then responded in tears "Y-Yes, I-I-I-Can.." Phoenix then said "Then you can channel maya!" Pearl then looks suprised and said "I'll do it! I'll do it! Just ask her how it happened!" They both took the train back to the Kurain village

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Awesome sig thanks to Nadindi.
Son of J.D And PandaPrinzessin[
Brother to KrazyKaro and Meenyman
Electroboy and KrazyKaro=Need coffee cups to the face, They fight too much..


Last edited by kemosemu on Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: JaronWhites Request And Read ThreadTopic%20Title
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The Robert Downey Jr. Of Cookies

Gender: Female

Location: Charismaville

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:08 am

Posts: 1149

...What?

That was...that wasn't a story. :/
Image
WARNING: My dA may contain swearing, bad fanart, and gratuitous lesbianism.
BTW, GIVE GUMSHOE SOME GODDAMN MONEY, BITCHES
Re: JaronWhites Request And Read ThreadTopic%20Title
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Real men are gray-haired in their 20s.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:03 am

Posts: 566

Sorry if I sound cold, but there are a few too many run-on sentences in your fic. Also, as Anna Cassidy said, nothing really happened at the end. I can imagine something really dramatic or hilarious happening to Phoenix once he gets home, though, so if you went from there, it could be really great!
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Totally not my sig...
Re: JaronWhites Request And Read ThreadTopic%20Title
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Gender: Female

Location: Sydney

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 2:19 pm

Posts: 398

... wow. That was fast, i mean with the killing and... and everything! I hope Phoenix can see Maya again
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Made by me :D
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