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Croik's Fanfiction (Kris/Kazura part 3 up)Topic%20Title
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Continuing from the old board~

You can find all my PW fanfics on my website, or on ff.net . But here are some brief summaries of what you'll find there:

Yaoi

One of Every Color. Phoenix/Edgeworth, NC-17, 18 chapters. My longest PW fic (so far!), where Phoenix takes a case that requires him to appeal one of Edgeworth's. Much drama. Spoilers for T&T.

Turnabout Is Fair Play, Squeaky Leather Sofa, and Sleepy Seme. Phoenix/Edgeworth, NC-17, PWP stuff.

Entry 47.2. Phoenix/Edgeworth, PG. Phoenix learns a bit about what it means to have a lover.

Steady Inhale. Edgeworth/Gumshoe, NC-17. Spoilers JFA. Their relationship over the years.

Occupational Hazard 1 and 2. Gant/Karma, NC-17. After SL-9 they "chat" in Gant's office.

Entry 47.2. Phoenix/Edgeworth. PG, a little angsty. A gift-fic for Secret Saiban 06

Irrevocable, Irrefrangible, Last December Kirihito/Phoenix NC-17, BIG Gs4 spoilers. They don't like each other but they have sex anyway.

Third Attempt. Gant/ Karma, PG. Just after case 1-4 Gant pays Karma a visit, and the reminisce. Giftfic for Gefrierpunkt.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT, LOL! and Height Rule Shmeight Rule Kristoph/Apollo, NC-17. Apollo works late and is "compensated" for his overtime.

Hot Pockets. Phoenix/Apollo, PG. A little fluff for Benightedfate, Secret Saiban.


Het

No Compromise Necessary. Ron/Desiree/Adrian, NC-17 threesome.

Sugar Sugar. Cute Kyouya/Ema. Slight GS4 spoilers.

Half Empty, Half Full. Varan/Yuumi, PG. Taking place before and after GS4 (spoilers). An unsteady reunion. Giftfic for Gefrierpunkt.

Well Frogs. Kyouya/Akane, Takita/Makoto, multi-chapter. After GS4 (spoilers) the cast forges new relationships while developing existing ones, set to the backdrop of Odoroki's latest case. Takes place after "Sugar Sugar?"

Backstage Booty. Klavier/Ema, NC-17. BOOTY CALL!

"I'll Take You...Back to Borginia, 2024!". Klavier/Lamiroir, NC-17, pre-game. MILF!!!

Be My Lady. Kristoph/Kazura. A couple of one shots.


Threesome

No Compromise Necessary Ron/Desiree/Adrian, NC-17. Because Ron is pimp.

The Gesture. Kristoph/Phoenix/Iris, NC-17. Phoenix's disturbing dream sequence.


Gen

Sustenance. A series of short fics featuring Atmey, Ron, Matt, and eventually Tigre will be in there. Spoilers for each of their cases.

"I'll Take You...To A Strip Club!" As the name implies, Kyouya takes Odoroki to a strip club! Characters from 4-2 show up but there aren't any spoilers.

Sorely Lacking. Pre-game 1, Karma has a strange (read: not yaoi) run in with Gregory Edgeworth. Spoilers DL-6.

PUNCHFACE. Takes place almost immediately after 4-1. It's more serious than the title implies... :gregory:



Comments welcome~
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Re: Croik's FanfictionTopic%20Title

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.... Not to be rude, but could you write some het? Please? Oops

But anyways, I skimmed over it. Seems pretty good. You're a very good author, and I see nothing wrong. *stamps seal of half-approval*
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Re: Croik's FanfictionTopic%20Title
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Prosecutor Payne wrote:
.... Not to be rude, but could you write some het? Please? Oops


Mmmmm.....maybe. Yuusaku The only het couple I'd be interested in writing is Amasugis, but they're just so gosh darn cute, it makes them hard to write for.

I'm hoping for more interesting het possibilities in GS4. I'd like to see Odoroki paired with an older woman!

Though I do have het in other fandoms, most recently, Kyle/Rachel from Hotel Dusk: http://community.livejournal.com/red_crown/1225.html#cutid2
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Croik wrote:
Mmmmm.....maybe. Yuusaku The only het couple I'd be interested in writing is Amasugis, but they're just so gosh darn cute, it makes them hard to write for.

If you ever do that I promise to love you forever and draw you pretty pictures. ('course I should probably do that anyway, since you made this great site and all. ^_^)

Anyway...wow. I haven't read all of your work yet, but what I've read so far is phenomenal. I just finished reading the current chapters of One of Ever Color, and it's one of the best AA fanfictions I've read. Its great to see writers who pay as much attention to detail and characterization as you do. Phoenix

Also, I was lurking around your site and noticed you also wrote that awesome GW essay I read in...middle school, I think. Small world.
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Hahaha, omg, my Gundam Essay. That feels like eons ago!

But thanks, I'm glad you like it. I always try to put my best efforts into my writing. Edgy
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Seriously Karma x Gant . THATS JUST FUCKING TWISTED
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...not to be rude, but could you please keep writing gay porn? Please? (Though I won't say no to Yuusaku/Mareka either!)

All right, on to some actual thoughts. I appreciate the way you can make Edgeworth's and Phoenix's attraction to one another seem natural. There was a lot about the fic that was [cough] evocative. I especially liked the aural bit with Phoenix fixating on Edgeworth's voice. Another thing was Edgeworth's wet hair. I thought your description there was especially nice; I could see it in my head clearly, and it made me smile. (Sorry, as Funk and Lerayl know quite well, I tend to get fixated on little details.) Sex was...nicely done. The part with cravat made me laugh; you're good with dialogue between the two of them.

A minor quibble I had was that I'm not sure I could see Edgeworth being the type that really enjoys "seeing himself on television". That's not to say he'd dislike it, but when I think back to him getting King of Prosecutors trophy, he didn't seem like the type to revel in that sort of attention. Though I do think he'd be happy to have won his case, and I could see that carrying over to his mood when he got back. But, errr, maybe that's a little too much thought for a smut fic?
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musouka wrote:
...not to be rude, but could you please keep writing gay porn? Please?


Yes, ma'am!! *salute!* Larry

Thanks for your comments! You might be right about Edgeworth and TV...I wasn't really thinking of it at the time, to be honest. Though I can see that maybe he'd like getting the attention, as long as it didn't inconvenience him...? The KoP ceremony is a big bloated affair while a TV spot makes him look good without him exerting any effort. Franziska

Though I only say that now because it didn't occur to me until you mentioned it... Gregory Glad you liked the fic~


Shelly de Killer wrote:
Seriously Karma x Gant . THATS JUST FUCKING TWISTED


Why thank you! Gant
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Croik wrote:
Thanks for your comments! You might be right about Edgeworth and TV...I wasn't really thinking of it at the time, to be honest. Though I can see that maybe he'd like getting the attention, as long as it didn't inconvenience him...? The KoP ceremony is a big bloated affair while a TV spot makes him look good without him exerting any effort. Franziska


Haha, feel free to ignore me. As I said, I tend to over-think and get fixated by details, and that one was so minor. The focus was more on Edgeworth's good mood. And, in any case, I can definitely see Phoenix enjoying watching him on TV, and that's the other really important part. Edgy

Croik wrote:
Glad you liked the fic~


Yes, very much. Looking back over my comments, they seem awfully stilted, and I, uh, kinda forgot to mention that I did like it a lot. So, yeah. Good work!
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So moe for Makoto it's funny.

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musouka wrote:
As I said, I tend to over-think and get fixated by details, and that one was so minor.


Really? I'd have never guessed. Adrian

Anyway, Croiky, like I said... really well-written. Like Mu has a thing for details, I love little throwaway dialogue, because it captures the characters' interactions... well, not more than the meaningful dialogue, but it really rounds them out. And you do it so very well.

I mean, amidst all the mansex.
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Psh. What's ever been wrong with a little yaoi?

Wait. Waiiit. Don't answer that.

But in all seriousness your stuff is brilliant, Croik. Your writing style is extremely captivating and intense. One of Every Color is probably the only story that's not a humor fanfic that's ever kept me reading and then getting irritated to realize not all of it's up yet. I'm a shonen-ai fan, but not a big lemon fan, so I can't judge those parts (I sorta skimmed that part...no offense, my dear, but from what I gathered it was extremely tastefully done)

However! It wasn't just one massive sex story, which was what I enjoyed. The relationship was fleshed out very well and somehow everyone managed to remain in character quite well. The storyline besides the relationship is VERY intricate and deeply considered. You managed to have an original character without her turning out to be a Mary Sue or someone who doesn't fit in with the PW world at all, which is incredibly difficult to pull off. You also involved lots of minor characters, such as Angel Starr and April May, who I never even imagined would play a role. This was an extremely well done detective story and murder mystery, and the romance was wonderful to read as well. I have yet to look at your other fics, but from what I've seen, well done!
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MercuryKitten wrote:
Psh. What's ever been wrong with a little yaoi?

Wait. Waiiit. Don't answer that.


What's ever been wrong with a little yaoi?

Judge/Hondoubou.
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Re: Croik's FanfictionTopic%20Title
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Thanks, guys. I really appreciate your comments! I've tried to do mystery in fics for other fandoms, but nothing quite like a PW court case, so I'm glad to see the work I've put in it is paying off. I'll try to get the next chapter of Color out soon.
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Attorney Hatman wrote:
MercuryKitten wrote:
Psh. What's ever been wrong with a little yaoi?

Wait. Waiiit. Don't answer that.


What's ever been wrong with a little yaoi?

Judge/Hondoubou.



...Point taken. *winces*
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Re: Croik's FanfictionTopic%20Title
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So I was chatting with Gefrierpunkt last night and it inspired me to write something I'd had in mind for a while. OMG it's not yaoi, OR porn! What is the world coming to!? Gregory

It's Karma and Greg, pre-DL-6 (spoilers for case 4). Kinda angsty and kinda rough. Lemme know what you think~

http://www.croik.com/fanfics/gyakusai/lacking.htm
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Excellent work. I feel like you really nailed von Karma--hah, I was definitely reminded of a much, much rougher Fran in parts. I liked the trial scene (I like your trial scenes in general, but that was nicely done), but it was really afterwards that hit home. There were a lot of nice touches. One was Gregory's usage of Manfred's first name when he wanted to shut him up, and von Karma's reaction when confronted with the humanity of a man I'm sure he thought of purely as "the enemy".

Another thing I really appreciated was their dynamic in general. I think it would have been easy to make it mirror one of the dynamics we've seen in the games, but instead you fashioned something new. These are two men that don't like one another, and, most importantly don't respect one another. Which is absolutely intolerable to von Karma. Their tension is of a different type, a true stuggle of opposition.

Finally, wonderful final line to leave off at. Yes, von Karma would feel relief at Gregory's death. It's the death of something that he doesn't want to face. Something he will go so far to avoid that it makes him take in Miles for the sole purpose of destroying Gregory's--that man's--son.
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Croik wrote:
Thanks, guys. I really appreciate your comments! I've tried to do mystery in fics for other fandoms, but nothing quite like a PW court case, so I'm glad to see the work I've put in it is paying off. I'll try to get the next chapter of Color out soon.


Considering everyone is waiting for it, we all encourage you in your endeavor to get us the next chapter of Color sooner than later!
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musouka wrote:
I feel like you really nailed von Karma--hah, I was definitely reminded of a much, much rougher Fran in parts.


Actually, I'm really glad you think so! Ever since reading CFTF's fic I've wanted to play around with von Karma a little (in a situation other than getting screwed by Gant, as much fun as that is Von Karma ). I'm not really a fan of Franziska so I never spent much consideration on her and how a father-daughter relationship might have affected Karma himself, as well as how much of Fran's personality she got from her dad. So now I'm trying to broaden my view a little.

Thank you for your comments! Your attention to detail is part of what I loved so much about the NaruMitsu piece of yours I read, so I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you think. Edgy
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Well, actually, after thinking about it, I'm going to go into a little more detail. Oops There was one thing I wanted to mention that I somehow neglected to bring up. (Actually, your mention of the von Karma father/daughter relationship crystalized it for me)

I briefly touched on the fact that in this fic, von Karma is faced with the fact that his "enemy" is human, but more importantly, he is confronted with the fact that Gregory's human in the sense that his life does not revolve around court. That's an alien, scary concept to von Karma. It's no wonder that he retreats in the face of it.

I like this fic a lot. I like all your stuff--well, I'm not terribly into Gant/Manfred, if you can forgive me--but this has so many layers to it. It's something I'll think about and revist for a long time. Thank you for writing it.
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New chapter of Color is up:

http://community.livejournal.com/igiari/77853.html

Here comes the verdict! I hope it's at least a little surprising Shoe
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Minuki magic makes wonders. <3

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Fdksdv. That was an amazing chapter. I can't believe how in-character you can write. But man, that was intense. My heart was pounding waiting for the verdict. XD

I'm of course anticipating the last three chapters. You know everyone's gonna be sad when it ends, right? But I guess all good things have to. Keep it up! <3
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No, I wasn't expecting that verdict at all, but you did it in a way that made complete sense. I tip my hat. I'm really impressed with the way you managed to tie the case together. It was a rollercoaster ride from the beginning to the end, and I really waffled on Chassie's innocence or guilt. Hahaha, I sped read through this chapter--it seemed to go by way too fast.

For a couple of general thoughts on Color overall, I'm incredibly impressed with how well you've managed to make both the relationship and the trial interesting and engaging to the reader. I first started reading because I'm, well, a P/E fan. But you expanded beyond that and anchored your fic into the PW world itself. And it's always wonderful to see a good author who manages to do that.

I too will be sad when this fic is over.
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Edgeworth post-JFA = Serious business.

If he says you're guilty, chances are you probably are!
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Chassienooooo :(

This chapter made me sad Larry But still awesome!
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Thanks for the responses, guys~

Like I told Musouka when we chatted earlier, I've really tried to kind of recapture the feeling from case 2-4, where the trial and the side angst go hand in hand. It's been tough to orchestrate but it's been worth it. Though now that the trial is done, what's left is the angst. Gregory I'm sorry Feeny~~
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I liked Chassie :(

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE A CRAZYBITCH, HUH?! :(

Butz
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Whoops, doublepost.
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CROIK NEED BETA.

Nuu, I'm not shirking on Color (the next chapter is getting teh editing) but I've decided what my next multi-chapter is gonna be, and I'm...preparing. Kyle Hyde

So if someone (or two~) would be willing to look something over for me, I'd really appreciate it. But it does require knowledge of GS3-2 and, to a lesser extent GS2-4. Just under 4,000 words. I'll set it up a little better if someone's kind enough to volunteer.

Anyway, thanks~ Matt

(And if you happen to read this, Silvy, it's not the same thing I sent you before. But I know you're busy with essays Meekins )
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~We will become one~

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Steady Inhale was really good. (It's the only one I've read) Seriously, I loved the way Gumshoe gets all disapointed after the JFA bit.

Great Work, CroikPotato!
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Work is obviously affecting me.

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Croik wrote:
CROIK NEED BETA.

Nuu, I'm not shirking on Color (the next chapter is getting teh editing) but I've decided what my next multi-chapter is gonna be, and I'm...preparing. Kyle Hyde

So if someone (or two~) would be willing to look something over for me, I'd really appreciate it. But it does require knowledge of GS3-2 and, to a lesser extent GS2-4. Just under 4,000 words. I'll set it up a little better if someone's kind enough to volunteer.

Anyway, thanks~ Matt

(And if you happen to read this, Silvy, it's not the same thing I sent you before. But I know you're busy with essays Meekins )


Well, I don't have knowledge of GS3-2, but I'm about an inch away from reading all the spoilers anyway. And I love editing, so I'd be willing to look your fic over if you'd like. Larry

Also, five thumbs up for your fics, particularly Lacking. That's right, they're so good that I stole people's hands just to tell you. The way that you characterize people simply blows my mind.
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I appreciate it Yappari, if you really don't mind being spoiled. I mean it's not evidence-specific or anything but it is YuuMare, so it'll spoil a bit. And there is a cameo from 2-4~

PM me your email and I'll send it to ya!
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Teh croikmeister...

I'll beta if you want! :D
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Thanks Funky~ Mareka
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I was going to offer, but seeing as how I'm currently out of town--I doubt you want to wait a week until I get back--and it appears you already have a couple of good offers... Oops

Maybe next time? (Oooh, Yuusaku / Mareka? I'm looking forward to it!~~~)
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Thanks for the offer, Musouka. I always appreciate your comments, so hopefully it'll be up right when you get back. Mareka
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well, I'm not the most knowledgeable clam in the sea....but I'll offer my help, seeing as I'm finsihing GS3 at the moment.
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Thanks, Tetsujin, but since I got some great notes from Yappari and CFTF, I decided to go ahead and post it! But I still appreciate any extra comments or suggestions from my readers. Shoe

Sustenance (Part 2: Yuusaku)

It's a Yuusaku fic that takes place just over half a year before GS3-2 (spoilers~~~), and is a rough sequel to the original Sustenance I wrote last year, even though they're only related in that Yuusaku's in both. Parts 3 and 4 will feature other characters.

Um...Rated PG, pairing: Yuusaku / Mareka

Hope you guys like it~
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Squee!

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Mareka / Yuusaku !!!
...I love you.
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OMG! My NAILS!!!

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Mareka X Yuusaku !
Finally, an awesome fanfic of my favorite characters!
I love all of your work. Edgy
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Since my review is a bit spoiler-rific, I'm going to go ahead and use spoiler tags. Yanni Yogi

Spoiler: GS3-2
Great job with Yuusaku. I was really reminded of his underlying insecurity from the game, RE: Mareka. That being torn between having to lie for her sake and knowing that she hates lying. (And the way he was so crushed at the end of the trial, convinced that their relationship was destroyed beyond repair) Plus he was very very cute, and I liked the fact that you didn't have him be great off the bat.

Mareka racing at the beginning, yes, that's so her. And her offhandedly telling Matt to go make some coffee. I also cracked a grin at Yuusaku mentioning she brought men home often. It's something I can see her doing, because she's completely secure in her love for Yuusaku, even if Yuusaku doesn't know that. I also liked Mareka's concern intermixed with that tendency to just sort of swallow what he says. I think you got their actual dynamic quite well.

Matt Engarde was an interesting addition. (Putting it mildly) Nice way to bring his motorcycle into it. The bit with Yuusaku almost seeing under his hair was just GREAT. One of those "Ohhh, maaaaan" moments from me. Trust your instincts, Yuusaku! Will we be seeing more of him?

There was only one minor thing that threw me a bit off. I see Mareka as the quintessential "older sister type". This is not to say that her love for Yuusaku is any way, shape, or form "sisterly", but I felt that the "honeys" and "sweeties" seemed almost a little too "motherly" at points. Yes, her darling hubbie is lying there bleeding, and, of course, she'd help him get patched up, but those just threw me for a second every time I came across them. On the other hand, since this is them in semi-private, you do have more to work with. Just wanted to mention that.

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