Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 11/24- Apollo/Vera fic)
True love is forever.
Gender: Female
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am
Posts: 2182
Gregory Wright wrote:
As promised, I'm back. As I began the undertaking of reading your latest, I realized that trying to sum the works up in their totality would not do them justice. So, I decided to write comments immediately after each segment. I wrote them ignorant of what exactly the next installments contained.
I'm certainly pleased to see you. Thanks so much for the delightful review. And since such a review deserves more then a one line response, I'll respond to all points.
Gregory Wright wrote:
A Winning Match
Cute, as always. It’s fun to see them at play.
Cute, as always. It’s fun to see them at play.
I had such a blast writing that one. There isn't nearly enough mindless fluff for this pairing. :)
Gregory Wright wrote:
Beginnings (Apollo/Vera)
Chapter II
Busted by Phoenix…hilarious! I’m reminded of Hazakura right about now…
Also, fun to write. Poor Apollo. In my head canon, he was teased a great deal later. :P
Gregory Wright wrote:
Chapter III
You’re doing a good job of developing Vera here. I’m enjoying watching her courage grow. Loved how you introduced Pearl, though I might’ve made her a little less outgoing—kind of a halfway point between Trucy and Vera.
You’re doing a good job of developing Vera here. I’m enjoying watching her courage grow. Loved how you introduced Pearl, though I might’ve made her a little less outgoing—kind of a halfway point between Trucy and Vera.
Thank you! And I thought about that actually, but I then decided that after seven years of living with an outgoing Maya and in a familiar environment, Pearl would likely have lost a lot of her shyness. And even when we see her in the game, Pearl had distinct moments that showed her as being more outgoing by nature if she hadn't been so sheltered by her mother.
Gregory Wright wrote:
Chapter IV
“Special someone”…! I love it. The exchange between Pearl and Trucy is priceless. As usual, Vera is superbly rendered.
“Special someone”…! I love it. The exchange between Pearl and Trucy is priceless. As usual, Vera is superbly rendered.
Thank you! I'm pleased that you liked it.
Gregory Wright wrote:
Chapter V
Ooh…Heartbreak Hotel! Really felt for Apollo there. But knowing you, this’ll have a happy ending. This’ll make that ending all the sweeter. I’m hooked.
Ooh…Heartbreak Hotel! Really felt for Apollo there. But knowing you, this’ll have a happy ending. This’ll make that ending all the sweeter. I’m hooked.
I felt bad doing that to Apollo, but... I like drama with my fluff. :)
Gregory Wright wrote:
Chapter VI
…Beautiful. Beautifully awkward. The kiss might’ve been a little bit much at this point, but that might be just me. I haven’t experienced any romantic kisses yet, so…
Anyway, I love it. You make this pairing work very well. Thumbs up.
…Beautiful. Beautifully awkward. The kiss might’ve been a little bit much at this point, but that might be just me. I haven’t experienced any romantic kisses yet, so…
Anyway, I love it. You make this pairing work very well. Thumbs up.Thank you again. This chapter may have been a tiny bit rushed. I really wanted to end this story in this chapter and I rather wanted to end with their first kiss. :P I'll be more careful in the future. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. I haven't done many ventures into longer stories so a lot of this was uncharted territory for me.
Gregory Wright wrote:
Together (Phoenix/Iris)
Rush
Cute, as always. Thought a rollercoaster sounded more like Trucy’s idea…
It was Trucy's idea. Someone wants a mommy. :P Thank you.
Gregory Wright wrote:
Cure
Ah, wine for the soul… This was fun. I only wish there was a little more. I see lots of potential for references to sweetness, fine wine, and intoxication here that would tie neatly into a work about “addiction”.
Ah, wine for the soul… This was fun. I only wish there was a little more. I see lots of potential for references to sweetness, fine wine, and intoxication here that would tie neatly into a work about “addiction”.
*Chuckles* Very true. There were so many ways to approach this prompt, but it was fun to play with some.
Gregory Wright wrote:
Chemistry
This was a lot of fun to read. Believe it or not, I like the title. This work is so full of plays on the various definitions of “chemistry” that it lends a nice poetic feel to the piece.
This was a lot of fun to read. Believe it or not, I like the title. This work is so full of plays on the various definitions of “chemistry” that it lends a nice poetic feel to the piece.
Another prompt that had a number of ways to approach it, so I rather played on a few and tried to combine them. I was a bit worried with how it turned out, so I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it.
Gregory Wright wrote:
In summary, all were a true pleasure to read. I expect nothing less from the midwife of my own creativity in the area of romantic writing. I am proud to call you a formative influence. That reminds me--I need to get cracking on another intallment of Crime and Punishment sometime soon. I've been meaning to for a while, but a lot of things have been going on. My other fanfiction, a full-time job, ailing grandparents, and an original novel I'm working on have all been competing for my attention. If you're curious about this novel, feel free to PM me about it. 
Thanks so much for the great review. I truly appreciate your taking the time to give me this feedback. It helps a great deal.
Apollo-Kun wrote:
Your awesomeness meter just overloaded.
Those stories are pure genius! Besides them being my personal favourite OTPs, they were great in many ways!
Anyway, somehow I thought Beginnings might have felt somehow different, I haven't really gotten used to "silent love" stories yet. But I'm dying for a sequel!
Those stories are pure genius! Besides them being my personal favourite OTPs, they were great in many ways!
Anyway, somehow I thought Beginnings might have felt somehow different, I haven't really gotten used to "silent love" stories yet. But I'm dying for a sequel!
You are far, far too kind. Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I'm so happy that you enjoyed them. Out of curiosity, what do you mean by "Beginnings" feeling somewhat different? I'm always trying to improve my writing, so I really pay attention to any feedback that I get. As far as a sequel goes, maybe at some point. I haven't planned that far in advance. :P My current project is a Christmas P/I drabble based on one of the prompts in the P/I thread. That should hopefully be up soon, but I can't swear to anything. Thanks again.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
Gender: Female
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am
Posts: 2182
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
In Justice We Trust
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I'll always love you, Max.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Witness my stand... FOUGHT THE LAW!!!
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I`ve loved every of your fics. Now for a real review:
I`ve liked the backgrounds of the characters in every fic specially with Iris studying again or Trucy and Pearls being classmates (obviously thinking Pearls is 16 in GS4) or about her and Trucy sharing moments of their childhood in such a cute enviroment although the pain Nick has been putted through.
The fic about Apollo and Vera it`s one of my favorite (I`m just trying to express how did I feel by saying that I loved them all) You took your time to express the changes Vera was putted through cause of her case, her father`s death and how Apollo got more and more close to her. The way she started to discover that new feeling that you just feel for that "special someone" was really cute and how both Apollo and Vera were keeping their feelings for the other one in secret in the case of Apollo to not ruin the friendship they were keeping just because she didn`t feel the same way about him, or in the case of Vera keeping it for herself just because of her lack of knowledge about love and the concern of not being able to figure why she thought about him so much, why she felt "incomplete" without his company and on top of things the sadness that Apollo`s fear of destroying their friendship caused her.
In some moments I found contradictions between one and another fic but I remembered that the ones of Iris/Nick were oneshot`s with an independent story. And the biggest problem is that it`s most of the times placed between that 7 years hole in the history that Capcom couldn`t fill
in AJ so that made some problems with the few details gave by the game of Trucy still wanting a Mommy, or the fact of Iris not being in AJ. But anyway that 7 years hole gives you the best excuse to think wathever you want to as much as the moments after AJ do.
Sometimes the attitude of Nick troubled me even more than the attitude of Iris that some users have been complaining about of her acting "stronger" than usually. My problem is his attitude against Iris and his self confidence cause in AJ he is set like if he has everything under control (in his own hobo way) and more "wise" if that`s the appropiate word for now, cause I saw him like if he was still young like in the first 3 games (with that I mean he wasn`t being the hobo Nick I know) and about his behavior with Iris the thing that made feel uncomfortable was the simple fact that "why would he hide stuff from her?" I know that his pain is a big one but he is in love with Iris and it`s hard for me to think that the bilnd faith he had on her it`s gone now that they are finally toghether.
That`s pretty much everything I had to say.
Thanks. It was, is and always will be a pleasure.
"Getting into law school will make you realize how fucking bonkers these games are... like REALLY"
"Getting into law school will make you realize how fucking bonkers these games are... like REALLY"
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
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Chapter 5
Quote:
The first was that he had indeed developed feelings for Vera beyond those of friendship, he could no longer deny this fact after the happiness that had come to him when he had held her close, and the second being... that she didn't feel the same.
Semi-colon after friendship, not comma... otherwise it's a run-on.
That's all I saw for errors...
Anyways, this was a cute chapter. I liked how you made the flower shop owner automatically assume Apollo already had a "special lady" in his life, helping him to realize his feelings and deepening the pain about the fact that him and Vera are just friends.
I'll read the last chapter soon. =]
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Where's Pikachu? ...I mean Wally!
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Anyway, I'm so glad I did. It was very, very sweet and i love how you brought "Aunt Maya" and Pearl into the story! I don't really have critisizm as I wouldn't notice grammar mistakes (if there were actually any there) as I make so many in my stories! I'm guessing this won't be the last Phoenix/Iris fic you post so I look forward to the next one!
Please click my signiture to read Mia Fey - The Story
A second chance - Gumshoe centric oneshot
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Gray Godot wrote:
I`m playing with my health staying up to this hours but the problem is that this fics did a very good job in keeping me with interest.
I`ve loved every of your fics. Now for a real review:
I`ve liked the backgrounds of the characters in every fic specially with Iris studying again or Trucy and Pearls being classmates (obviously thinking Pearls is 16 in GS4) or about her and Trucy sharing moments of their childhood in such a cute enviroment although the pain Nick has been putted through.
I`ve loved every of your fics. Now for a real review:
I`ve liked the backgrounds of the characters in every fic specially with Iris studying again or Trucy and Pearls being classmates (obviously thinking Pearls is 16 in GS4) or about her and Trucy sharing moments of their childhood in such a cute enviroment although the pain Nick has been putted through.
I'm glad that you enjoyed those things. Aging characters can be fun, but difficult so it's always nice to hear that I did an okay job filling in their pasts in a believable way.
Gray Godot wrote:
The fic about Apollo and Vera it`s one of my favorite (I`m just trying to express how did I feel by saying that I loved them all) You took your time to express the changes Vera was putted through cause of her case, her father`s death and how Apollo got more and more close to her. The way she started to discover that new feeling that you just feel for that "special someone" was really cute and how both Apollo and Vera were keeping their feelings for the other one in secret in the case of Apollo to not ruin the friendship they were keeping just because she didn`t feel the same way about him, or in the case of Vera keeping it for herself just because of her lack of knowledge about love and the concern of not being able to figure why she thought about him so much, why she felt "incomplete" without his company and on top of things the sadness that Apollo`s fear of destroying their friendship caused her.
Thank you for the compliments. I'm glad that you like how that turned out. It was quite fun to write. Apollo and Vera are great characters to write because there is so much that can be done with them.
Gray Godot wrote:
In some moments I found contradictions between one and another fic but I remembered that the ones of Iris/Nick were oneshot`s with an independent story.
If you happen to recall any of the contradictions that you saw, then I'd love to hear them so that I can correct those. Yes, they are independent stories, but they're meant to connect even if I try not to make them rely to heavily on one another (so that it isn't strictly necessary to read them all to understand them). I'd appreciate any help that you can offer. Thank you. :)
Gray Godot wrote:
And the biggest problem is that it`s most of the times placed between that 7 years hole in the history that Capcom couldn`t fill
in AJ so that made some problems with the few details gave by the game of Trucy still wanting a Mommy, or the fact of Iris not being in AJ. But anyway that 7 years hole gives you the best excuse to think wathever you want to as much as the moments after AJ do.
in AJ so that made some problems with the few details gave by the game of Trucy still wanting a Mommy, or the fact of Iris not being in AJ. But anyway that 7 years hole gives you the best excuse to think wathever you want to as much as the moments after AJ do.
Admittedly, the whole "Trucy wants a mommy" thing was troubling for me because it means that Phoenix couldn't have been in a serious relationship at the time of AJ, which is why they were broken up at the start Rekindling. I didn't want to have them separate, but I didn't feel as though I had much of a choice. And Iris not being a physical presence in the game isn't that big an issue. She had no real part in events and would be unlikely to be able to do more then lend Phoenix emotional support, so she didn't need to be in the game. That doesn't mean though that she wasn't around. Phoenix spends a lot of time off screen in which time he could be seeing his old friends. I sort of followed that train of thought with my fics.
Gray Godot wrote:
Sometimes the attitude of Nick troubled me even more than the attitude of Iris that some users have been complaining about of her acting "stronger" than usually. My problem is his attitude against Iris and his self confidence cause in AJ he is set like if he has everything under control (in his own hobo way) and more "wise" if that`s the appropiate word for now, cause I saw him like if he was still young like in the first 3 games (with that I mean he wasn`t being the hobo Nick I know) and about his behavior with Iris the thing that made feel uncomfortable was the simple fact that "why would he hide stuff from her?" I know that his pain is a big one but he is in love with Iris and it`s hard for me to think that the bilnd faith he had on her it`s gone now that they are finally toghether.
That`s pretty much everything I had to say.
That`s pretty much everything I had to say.
Spoiler: Spoiler for "Changes"
Anyway, thanks so much for the great comments. I really appreciate your taking the time to read my fics and comment on them. I can only improve if people tell me what I'm doing right and wrong.
vio55 wrote:
Hey... I hope you remember me. :D I reviewed like every chapter of Beginnings before I had lost interest in the Ace Attorney series... but now I'm back and want to review the last 2 chapters.
Of course I remember you. ^_^ I'm pleased to see you again.
vio55 wrote:
Chapter 5
Semi-colon after friendship, not comma... otherwise it's a run-on.
That's all I saw for errors...
Quote:
The first was that he had indeed developed feelings for Vera beyond those of friendship, he could no longer deny this fact after the happiness that had come to him when he had held her close, and the second being... that she didn't feel the same.
Semi-colon after friendship, not comma... otherwise it's a run-on.
That's all I saw for errors...
I'll fix it. Thanks. :)
vio55 wrote:
Anyways, this was a cute chapter. I liked how you made the flower shop owner automatically assume Apollo already had a "special lady" in his life, helping him to realize his feelings and deepening the pain about the fact that him and Vera are just friends.
I'll read the last chapter soon. =]
I'll read the last chapter soon. =]
I'm glad that you liked it. I look forward to your next review. ^_^
Missile123 wrote:
I finally got round to reading "Enjoying the moment". (I've been meaning to for ages!)
Anyway, I'm so glad I did. It was very, very sweet and i love how you brought "Aunt Maya" and Pearl into the story! I don't really have critisizm as I wouldn't notice grammar mistakes (if there were actually any there) as I make so many in my stories! I'm guessing this won't be the last Phoenix/Iris fic you post so I look forward to the next one!
Anyway, I'm so glad I did. It was very, very sweet and i love how you brought "Aunt Maya" and Pearl into the story! I don't really have critisizm as I wouldn't notice grammar mistakes (if there were actually any there) as I make so many in my stories! I'm guessing this won't be the last Phoenix/Iris fic you post so I look forward to the next one!
No, I don't imagine that this will be the last P/I story from me. :P I appear to have the most luck with writing them for some reason, so I do tend to write this pairing the most (and I really do just love it which also accounts for that).
Thank you for the great comments. I'm pleased to hear that you like my story. Thanks so much for being so kind. ^_^
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
The Chibi White Mage :D
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I'm thinking of the last chapter of Eagle Mountain being released for me. And also something Diego/Mia.
I've got the idea thought out, but I still have tons of stuff to do
. School is awful crazy here >_<
Supporter of PhoenixXIris, MiaxDiego and ApolloxVera
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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LittleBakura wrote:
Hey Mia, you think you're doing something for Valentine's Day? Maybe something Phoenix/ Iris?
I'm thinking of the last chapter of Eagle Mountain being released for me. And also something Diego/Mia.
I've got the idea thought out, but I still have tons of stuff to do . School is awful crazy here >_<
I'm thinking of the last chapter of Eagle Mountain being released for me. And also something Diego/Mia.
I've got the idea thought out, but I still have tons of stuff to do
. School is awful crazy here >_<I may very well be. ^_^ It's written and I've asked a friend to beta it. Expect it nearer to Valentine's Day. Now hush, it's supposed to be a Valentine's surprise (not that I've tried that hard to keep this a secret). :P
I can't wait to read the rest of Eagle Mountain and more Mia/Diego always sounds fun. I suck so badly at writing that pairing. Diego clearly hates me. -_-
Good luck with everything. Hopefully, school will calm down for you soon, so you can get everything done. School can be a pain, but at least you sometimes learn neat stuff.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Witness my stand... FOUGHT THE LAW!!!
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and I don`t have any experience about romantic fics, I only have made two focus fics about Godot (That sadly no one reads 
) and the second I thought it was actually very good. *sigh* well if you could give me some advice, I would be thankful.Some other thing, maybe you could make more Apollo/Vera fics cause I`ve just read your only fic about them for the second time! I`m so desperate to find more about them. Well anyway, keep being awesome!
Thanks. It was, is and always will be a pleasure.
"Getting into law school will make you realize how fucking bonkers these games are... like REALLY"
"Getting into law school will make you realize how fucking bonkers these games are... like REALLY"
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Sig and Avie created by awesome Vicki!!
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Gray Godot wrote:
I only have made two focus fics about Godot (That sadly no one reads ) and the second I thought it was actually very good. *sigh* well if you could give me some advice, I would be thankful.
) and the second I thought it was actually very good. *sigh* well if you could give me some advice, I would be thankful.Funny, I thought I was the only person who called them 'focus' fics. lol
But don't be discouraged! Trust me, on my first fanfic, nobody was reading or even responding. It took a wonderful sig made by Vicki for advertising and mostly perseverance to finally get to the point that people would read it! (it got super popular, suddenly, too. It was very strange
)Anyway...
Gray Godot wrote:
Some other thing, maybe you could make more Apollo/Vera fics cause I`ve just read your only fic about them for the second time! I`m so desperate to find more about them. Well anyway, keep being awesome!
I completely agree!!!
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 12/28- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Gray Godot wrote:
Mia, I`ve been thinking about writing a Fic about and I don`t have any experience about romantic fics, I only have made two focus fics about Godot (That sadly no one reads ) and the second I thought it was actually very good. *sigh* well if you could give me some advice, I would be thankful.
Some other thing, maybe you could make more Apollo/Vera fics cause I`ve just read your only fic about them for the second time! I`m so desperate to find more about them. Well anyway, keep being awesome!
and I don`t have any experience about romantic fics, I only have made two focus fics about Godot (That sadly no one reads ) and the second I thought it was actually very good. *sigh* well if you could give me some advice, I would be thankful.Some other thing, maybe you could make more Apollo/Vera fics cause I`ve just read your only fic about them for the second time! I`m so desperate to find more about them. Well anyway, keep being awesome!
I'm very honored that you would ask for my advise and I'd be thrilled to help if I can. I'm a bit busy tonight, but I promise to make some time on either Tuesday night or Wednesday night. I want to make sure I have the time to give it some real thought. Do you need advise on just how to write romance or do you want me to critic your two stories as well?
Don't worry too much about a lack of reviews. I'll bet more people are reading your fics then you think. Unfortunately, many people don't think to leave a review when they have no complaints and, I know how discouraging it can be, but you just have to keep trying. Trust me. When I started, I got like no reviews and that convinced me that everyone clearly hated my stuff, but then things worked out and people started actually reviewing my fics. I have no idea why that happens
I'll see what I can do about the lack of Apollo/Vera. ^_^ It's sad that there is so little written for the couple and I love writing both characters. Vera is such a sweetie and Apollo is adorable. You put them together and my heart melts. I'll get to brainstorming.
Hi again, Caelestis. It's always a pleasure to see you. :)
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
Gender: Female
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am
Posts: 2182
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
In Justice We Trust
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The scene with Trucy was cute; I thought it was a nice touch. It's also nice to see that you're managing to work your way around making the stories too redundant, though I will admit that I get bored from time to time. When nearly all of your works are oneshots about the same couple, it's easy for the plot to become overused. Fortunately, you manage to change the events around enough to make the stories still worth reading.
I'll always love you, Max.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Witness my stand... FOUGHT THE LAW!!!
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Now:
I found cute the scene with Trucy, I laughed with the Mike Meekins reference, the valentine cards were a great idea and in general it was a good fic to avoid needless talking.
About what General Luigi said: I`m half agree, It doesn`t get me bored but it`s getting too overused, maybe (like some users had adviced, you should write more
X 
for instance) That`s the only bad thing I can say about this matter.BTW: General Luigi, when will you continue your fanfic? Tales of law and love? ( sorry if it`s backwards: "love and law")
Just one more thing: Keep being awesome everyone!!!
Thanks. It was, is and always will be a pleasure.
"Getting into law school will make you realize how fucking bonkers these games are... like REALLY"
"Getting into law school will make you realize how fucking bonkers these games are... like REALLY"
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Where's Pikachu? ...I mean Wally!
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Will you be writing more Apollo/Vera? T'would awesome if you did.
Please click my signiture to read Mia Fey - The Story
A second chance - Gumshoe centric oneshot
Finding Mr.Wright - Phoenix/Maya
. x
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am
Posts: 2182
General Luigi wrote:
Another well-done story. Again, I noticed some grammatical errors (the usual "then" when it should be "than"), but not as many as usual.
The scene with Trucy was cute; I thought it was a nice touch. It's also nice to see that you're managing to work your way around making the stories too redundant, though I will admit that I get bored from time to time. When nearly all of your works are oneshots about the same couple, it's easy for the plot to become overused. Fortunately, you manage to change the events around enough to make the stories still worth reading.
The scene with Trucy was cute; I thought it was a nice touch. It's also nice to see that you're managing to work your way around making the stories too redundant, though I will admit that I get bored from time to time. When nearly all of your works are oneshots about the same couple, it's easy for the plot to become overused. Fortunately, you manage to change the events around enough to make the stories still worth reading.
Thank you! I'm glad that you like it. I actually had a lot of fun writing the interactions between Iris and Trucy. I'm pleased to know that others enjoyed it too. ^_^
And... that is a weakness of mine. I have a nasty tendency to get comfortable with writing something and then to continue writing it. I really do need to branch out more, so thank you for reminding me. Besides, the Apollo/Vera oneshot that I'm working on, I think I'm also going to try my hand at a Klavier/Ema fic if I can convince the characters to cooperate with me and perhaps a general fic rather then romance. I really love friendship/family type fics, but I rarely write them myself although my romance fics will often have a heavy family aspect to them for that reason, so I should branch out and try to do one without the emphasis on romance.
Thanks again. :)
Gray Godot wrote:
Nice work! I liked it!
Now:
I found cute the scene with Trucy, I laughed with the Mike Meekins reference, the valentine cards were a great idea and in general it was a good fic to avoid needless talking.
About what General Luigi said: I`m half agree, It doesn`t get me bored but it`s getting too overused, maybe (like some users had adviced, you should write more X for instance) That`s the only bad thing I can say about this matter.
Now:
I found cute the scene with Trucy, I laughed with the Mike Meekins reference, the valentine cards were a great idea and in general it was a good fic to avoid needless talking.
About what General Luigi said: I`m half agree, It doesn`t get me bored but it`s getting too overused, maybe (like some users had adviced, you should write more
X for instance) That`s the only bad thing I can say about this matter.Thank you! Yay to more people liking the scenes with Trucy. She is so very fun to write. :)
The Apollo/Vera fic is coming. I swear. Apollo is currently refusing to cooperate with me, but I'll get him to come around. -_- Thanks for the patience. I'll try to get it done and posted soon.
Thanks again.
Missile123 wrote:
That was very, very cute and yes, I remember that episodes of family guy. Oddly i never made the link between that episode and your story, until the end. It was well writen and I enjoyed it.
Will you be writing more Apollo/Vera? T'would awesome if you did.
Will you be writing more Apollo/Vera? T'would awesome if you did.
Thank you!
Hell, I barely made the connection with the Family Guy episode myself. I was proofreading it and it suddenly struck me that it was rather similar to the situation in the show. Credit where credit is due. This is more proof that I am clearly watching too much Family Guy if it's managing to influence my subconscious. O_o (Now ask me if I'm going to stop watching the show... the answer is no. :P)
I am definitely still working on that fic. Hopefully, it'll be done soon. It's kind of funny that it's Apollo that I'm having trouble writing this time considering that he was the character that I had the easiest time with at the start of "Beginnings." Now Vera is coming out fine and Apollo is completely out of character. -_-
Thank you again.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
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And your sense of comedic timing is impeccable. "I--" ding dong! The guests are here! Having completed GS4 now, I can see more clearly than ever that you have a good feel for Hobo Phoenix's character. His wisecracks ring true. Your Valentine's piece, incidentally, was both sweet and cute overall. The end really got to me...and I loved how you worked Mike Meekins into it! I had to stop reading and just laugh for a while. Also, it was sweet that he finally got to do something right. Good thing he didn't blast her with that megaphone...she might not've been able to hear Phoenix if he had.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Gregory Wright wrote:
It took me awhile, but as promised, I have read your latest. And as usual, both pieces were a pleasure to read. You're pretty good with domestic scenes. I suspect that might be a weak spot of mine. And your sense of comedic timing is impeccable. "I--" ding dong! The guests are here! Having completed GS4 now, I can see more clearly than ever that you have a good feel for Hobo Phoenix's character. His wisecracks ring true. Your Valentine's piece, incidentally, was both sweet and cute overall. The end really got to me...and I loved how you worked Mike Meekins into it! I had to stop reading and just laugh for a while. Also, it was sweet that he finally got to do something right. Good thing he didn't blast her with that megaphone...she might not've been able to hear Phoenix if he had.
And your sense of comedic timing is impeccable. "I--" ding dong! The guests are here! Having completed GS4 now, I can see more clearly than ever that you have a good feel for Hobo Phoenix's character. His wisecracks ring true. Your Valentine's piece, incidentally, was both sweet and cute overall. The end really got to me...and I loved how you worked Mike Meekins into it! I had to stop reading and just laugh for a while. Also, it was sweet that he finally got to do something right. Good thing he didn't blast her with that megaphone...she might not've been able to hear Phoenix if he had. Thanks so much for the kind words. <3 It's always appreciated.
... To anyone who is still with me, the Apollo/Vera fic is still coming. I swear. Life's been rather hectic and Apollo clearly hates me. >_< I'm sorry everyone.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
You've been hit by, a smooth prosecutor
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Oh well, i did now, and i like
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Johnny Rotan wrote:
Why the hell didn't i notice this one?
Oh well, i did now, and i like
Oh well, i did now, and i like
Wow. It's been a while since anyone last posted here. Writer's block and a busy schedule are currently making it hard to get any writing done, although I have been trying.
Thanks so much for the compliment, Johnny Rotan. ^_^ I always love and appreciate feedback.
If my brain and the characters will cooperate, I may try to get some writing done this weekend. It would be nice to be able to update this thread again.
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Fanfics Updated-12/25
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
You've been hit by, a smooth prosecutor
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Mia_Fey wrote:
Johnny Rotan wrote:
Why the hell didn't i notice this one?
Oh well, i did now, and i like
Oh well, i did now, and i like
Wow. It's been a while since anyone last posted here. Writer's block and a busy schedule are currently making it hard to get any writing done, although I have been trying.
Thanks so much for the compliment, Johnny Rotan. ^_^ I always love and appreciate feedback.
If my brain and the characters will cooperate, I may try to get some writing done this weekend. It would be nice to be able to update this thread again.
Well this topic got pushed way down the list, so people probably just forgot about it (until i found it and bumped it
).
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Rebirth
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- 
. It shows how the two have developed over the past seven years and how their relationship has truly grown. If you would like for me to review your stories seperately, then I can surely do that.I cannot wait till you start writing again.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Johnny Rotan wrote:
Mia_Fey wrote:
Johnny Rotan wrote:
Why the hell didn't i notice this one?
Oh well, i did now, and i like
Oh well, i did now, and i like
Wow. It's been a while since anyone last posted here. Writer's block and a busy schedule are currently making it hard to get any writing done, although I have been trying.
Thanks so much for the compliment, Johnny Rotan. ^_^ I always love and appreciate feedback.
If my brain and the characters will cooperate, I may try to get some writing done this weekend. It would be nice to be able to update this thread again.
Well this topic got pushed way down the list, so people probably just forgot about it (until i found it and bumped it
).And I thank you for bumping the thread and for being so kind to me. ^_^ It really does help the creative process.
Platinum Skye wrote:
I quite enjoy your stories you have come up with. Your work should be the example of how people write - . It shows how the two have developed over the past seven years and how their relationship has truly grown. If you would like for me to review your stories seperately, then I can surely do that.
I cannot wait till you start writing again.
- . It shows how the two have developed over the past seven years and how their relationship has truly grown. If you would like for me to review your stories seperately, then I can surely do that.I cannot wait till you start writing again.
Thank you so much! You are far too kind. I'm so happy that you enjoyed my fics. If you wish to review them separately then I'd welcome that as the personalized input is always helpful in improving my writing, but I won't force it on you. Thank you again. ^_^
Hopefully, I'll be able to put something together soon.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
Rebirth
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Chapter 1
I liked the way this started out. The reader does not feel Apollo is in love but trying to be a good friend at this point, which would be what I would expect. Vera being unaware of what love means would feel the feeling towards Apollo to be unusual and probably wouldn't think much of it. Apollo showing Vera the dog I felt was sweet.
It did what a prologue is supposed to do.
Chapter 2
When Phoenix saw Apollo focus on Vera during the performance I knew that he knew Apollo & Vera were going to start some sort of relationship at Vera's prefered pace.
Vera I presume would be one to love Trucy's performances. Seeing her react really lit up something in me. Overall it's progressing nicely so far.
Chapter 3
Concern as I would expect from Vera as she dropped the paint. It details Vera's understanding of a different home and the people in it. Apollo seems to want to help Vera function better in society for more reasons than just being friends, but can't identify the reasoning. Still propressing nicely in regards to Vera over the past two days.
Chapter 4
Vera thinks about the concept of love and how the people around her are affected by it. I was hoping she would not think of Apollo immediately after but as an afterthought since both aren't actually in love yet. Seeing all the goregous dresses and magic tricks seems like something Vera would be fascinated in.
Chapter 5
Apollo questions these feelings and thoughts for Vera as he's presumably never experienced True Love before. Vera herself has a basic idea of love but doesn't know much about how it works, so the hug she gave Apollo likely shocked her because she didn't know what to make of it. Apollo knows this isn't settled, however he wonders how and what.
Chapter 6 & The Story Itself
I remember some people questioning the timing of the kiss however I consider it to be the sign of relization of the future relationship. I enjoyed seeing it.
Overall the title goes with the story nicely, Beginnings; It's the beginning of a decent life for Vera and the beginning of relization for both Apollo & Vera. And of course it's the beginning of the relationship. It flowed quite well, the moments with Phoenix, Trucy & Pearl fitted together without taking the focus off in any way.
I would wish for a continuation of this story, but I can see the reasoning for you not to do that. Oh well, there's always my stories. I enjoyed the whole thing.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
lying is bad
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Then I looked at the username, and found that they were by the same author.
I thought still: "Quality over Quantity any day"
They were all oneshots, and I still tremendously enjoyed them, but I would like to see you put your talents into a series. Maybe...I don't know, like the Ticking Turnabout? Something like that.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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VeryHappyTaffy wrote:
This I loved. They were the first stories I ever read, and I actually thought they were by different authors at first.
Then I looked at the username, and found that they were by the same author.
I thought still: "Quality over Quantity any day"
They were all oneshots, and I still tremendously enjoyed them, but I would like to see you put your talents into a series. Maybe...I don't know, like the Ticking Turnabout? Something like that.
Then I looked at the username, and found that they were by the same author.
I thought still: "Quality over Quantity any day"
They were all oneshots, and I still tremendously enjoyed them, but I would like to see you put your talents into a series. Maybe...I don't know, like the Ticking Turnabout? Something like that.
Thank you! It always nice to know that people actually like my stuff (it's a nice confidence booster), so thank you. :)
I tried my hand on one longer story recently, and while I feel like it turned out decently (I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't think that it was okay), I still worry that that story suffered because I pushed it too far. I don't feel quite as comfortable with longer stories and I'm not sure that I'm skilled enough for a truly long story (and I know that I can't write a court case well). I am toying with a few ideas for a chaptered P/I story though, but I'm not certain that I'll end up going through with it. I'll try to see if I can get something written though.
Thank you again!
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
lying is bad
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
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keep it up :) hopefully we'll see some resurection
sigTolombo conMagic
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
lying is bad
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I'm not saying that I'm good at writing court-cases, but I just like making cases. It's fun. Really. It's fun.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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IrisWright wrote:
You're an amazing write the description is amazing
keep it up :) hopefully we'll see some resurection
keep it up :) hopefully we'll see some resurection
Welcome back, IrisWright! And thank you. I'll try.
VeryHappyTaffy wrote:
Hmm...maybe I could help you with the case plot?
I'm not saying that I'm good at writing court-cases, but I just like making cases. It's fun. Really. It's fun.
I'm not saying that I'm good at writing court-cases, but I just like making cases. It's fun. Really. It's fun.
Actually, that might not be a bad idea. I suck at thinking them up and, of course, I'd give you credit. Let me think on it a bit and thank you for the offer.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
lying is bad
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You want to take over my fic?
Think carefully, because if you accept then I'll be sending you planned spoilers in advance.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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VeryHappyTaffy wrote:
OK, well, I guess you can write the rest of the ending for my fic.
You want to take over my fic?
Think carefully, because if you accept then I'll be sending you planned spoilers in advance.
You want to take over my fic?
Think carefully, because if you accept then I'll be sending you planned spoilers in advance.
But... you're doing a good job with it. I'm going to say no to this one. You are a good writer in your own right and I don't think that I've ever seen a story turn out well when someone other then the original author finished it. Thank you for the offer though. It's nice that you have such faith in my writing skills.
And please do continue your fic. I'm enjoying it.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 2/13- Phoenix/Iris fic)
lying is bad
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Mia_Fey wrote:
VeryHappyTaffy wrote:
OK, well, I guess you can write the rest of the ending for my fic.
You want to take over my fic?
Think carefully, because if you accept then I'll be sending you planned spoilers in advance.
You want to take over my fic?
Think carefully, because if you accept then I'll be sending you planned spoilers in advance.
But... you're doing a good job with it. I'm going to say no to this one. You are a good writer in your own right and I don't think that I've ever seen a story turn out well when someone other then the original author finished it. Thank you for the offer though. It's nice that you have such faith in my writing skills.
And please do continue your fic. I'm enjoying it.
OK...I guess. I couldn't do some characters right, because it's been a long time since I've seen them in PW.
Anyways, you have ideas for a super-multi-chaptered fic for P/I day?
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 9/16- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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VeryHappyTaffy wrote:
Anyways, you have ideas for a super-multi-chaptered fic for P/I day?
I apologize. I hadn't realized that you had asked me a question. The little thing that I wrote for P/I day (which I finally uploaded to fanfiction.net and am now posting here) might get a second chapter if I can make it work. I have a vague idea of what I could do with it, but I can't promise that such a thing will happen. This last fic was so hard to write. I just can't seem to get passed the writer's block, but I'm trying.
Anyway, as I mentioned, I'm updating this thread with my contribution for P/I day. I hope that you guys like it. Feedback is always appreciated. ^_^
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 9/16- Phoenix/Iris fic)
In Justice We Trust
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I'll always love you, Max.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 9/16- Phoenix/Iris fic)
:)
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Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 9/16- Phoenix/Iris fic)
True love is forever.
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General Luigi- This last fic is AUish to be perfectly honest. I don't often deviate so far from canon (or my own headcanon), but I rather liked this idea and it had been a while since I'd been able to write. When fighting writer's block, I've found that you never turn away potential plot bunnies. They're too hard to catch again later. I'm actually thinking about giving it a second chapter, but the whole story should probably be considered AU. It'll never happen in actual canon and I'm unlikely to ever follow up on this story. I may actually add that in an author's note so that people don't get confused.
Thank you for the nice review. It's very appreciated. ^_^
C.Gholy- Thank you so much for your kindness. I've seen your reviews on ff.net and I really appreciate all the feedback that you've given me. It helps a great deal. ^_^ I'm especially pleased that you feel as though Iris and Vera turned out well in my fics. They're fun to write, but I often worry about whether I'm developing them well so it's nice to hear that you feel that I've managed to handle them decently.
Thanks again!
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