Board index » Present Evidence » Present Testimony

Page 3 of 7[ 242 posts ]
Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
 


Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title
User avatar

In Justice We Trust

Gender: Male

Location: Southern California

Rank: Admin

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:31 pm

Posts: 4215

Right now, the way Vera is in your story reminds me of a character used in a story a friend of mine wrote. Anyway, you certainly hinted that they were falling in love in that story, but it struck me as very implicit; some less observant readers might not realize that it's a romance story unless they look at the genre. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I wanted you to be aware of it.

And this is probably just my own hesitation with romance speaking, but falling in love with someone two weeks after meeting strikes me as rather rushed--in fact, I translate it as infatuation more than anything else.

Again, this particular story seems to have the potential to become more than a oneshot, but I can certainly understand why you would avoid multi-chapter stories. I know from experience that using multiple chapters can be a pain at times. Chapter stories tend to go a lot deeper than oneshots, but they're also more prone to writer's block--especially if you already have the main plot planned out. There's one story that I haven't published a new chapter for in about a year. Given how much trouble that can be, I definitely understand your preference for oneshots.
Image
I'll always love you, Max.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Thanks for reviewing. The romance in this one was intended to be more subtle then in my previous ones for exactly the reason you state. Love doesn't spring out of nowhere, but attraction can begin very early and lead to love. Hence why I wrote this story the way I did. Vera and Apollo aren't in love or even close to it by this point, but both are starting to experience changes in their general feelings for one another. This... story may actually turn into more than a oneshot. I quite like this couple and I have a vague idea for another chapter which needs a bit more development before I jump into writing it. No promises, but its a real possibility. I'll have some time next week after midterms to give more thought to the fic. Thanks again for reviewing!
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title
User avatar

likes to object! C:

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Posts: 118

I've read your Apollo/Vera fanfic.
To be honest, I've never thought them as a couple before. But your story made me love them! :)
That was really good. It has a sweet aura.
I hope to read more from you! ++
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

I'm so happy you liked it! Thank you so much for your kind comments and encouragement. Your support means a great deal to me, particularly with the lack of response I've gotten to this last story which is making me rather sad. Thanks again! :)

To anyone reading my stuff, reviews are always welcome and greatly appreciated.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title
User avatar

likes to object! C:

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Posts: 118

Mia_Fey wrote:
I'm so happy you liked it! Thank you so much for your kind comments and encouragement. Your support means a great deal to me, particularly with the lack of response I've gotten to this last story which is making me rather sad. Thanks again! :)

To anyone reading my stuff, reviews are always welcome and greatly appreciated.


I'm sure even they don't comment they love your fanfictions. :) You're welcome.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title
User avatar

My son is bored. Care to play with him?

Gender: Male

Location: Minnesota

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am

Posts: 725

Nice work! I haven't even played GS4 yet and I'm already becoming an Apollo/Vera shipper! :will: I'm sorry I didn't read this earlier. I've been meaning to, but my new wireless service doesn't seem to like fanfiction.net right now. It's times like these when I'm glad I still have a dialup connection to use as backup. As always, good stuff! :butzthumbs:
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Thank you so much for the nice review, Gregory. I'm very happy you liked it. I must admit that I rather enjoyed writing it. Apollo and Vera are fun characters to play with and are quickly becoming a favorite couple of mine. Thanks again for the kind words. I always appreciate them.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title

Black Belt

Gender: Female

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 2:46 am

Posts: 1

Hi! I'm new here ;). I just wanted to tell you, Mia_Fey, that I LOVE your fanfiction! So much that I finally decided to stop being lazy and get an account on CR. Well, Phoenix/Iris is certianly one of my top pairings, and you write them perfectly. You're a very, very talented writer!! Especially, you're good at keeping personalities spot-on; I think that's what special about your fics. They feel like an expansion of the games; the part of Phoenix and Iris' relationship that we never get to see. :pearl: BTW, your Apollo/Vera fic had turned me into an Apollo/Vera shipper!! I could really see it happening and liked how you just hinted at their feelings growing for each other rather than going, "omg they're in love!!" like way too many authors do. I want to see more Apollo/Vera!!!

Just overall, keep writing these beautiful fics, and I'll keep reading and reviewing.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Wow! Thank you so much for that lovely review, aussiesrule34! You have certainly made my day with your kindness. I'm so happy you like my stories! :redd: Thank you again!

On another note, welcome to CR. I hope you enjoy your stay here. :)
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Weeeeeee!!!!!

Gender: Male

Location: Back to making donuts and slides everywhere...

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:16 am

Posts: 488

Man, working full time makes you forget a lot of things. Especially when there's a blinking red link saying someone's updated their fanfiction.

About the piece, brilliant writing there. I really can't fault it too much as this is your interpretation of the events in the game. You did capture Vera's personality to the nail anyway. I do think Vera wouldn't change her personality that quickly as trauma and as well as her past will be more of a burden on her to change. But that's getting a bit picky on you though.

Overall, a great effort. Now, just have to find time to do my fanfiction and as well as study uni plus working full time :sadshoe:
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Loving Shi-Long Lang~!

Gender: Female

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:09 am

Posts: 345

I've read your Apollo/Vera fanfic and i loved it so much! I've thought of them as a couple before but now you've made me fall for them X]
I'm officially an Apollo/Vera shipper! XD
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

Maya/Phoenix - You know you dig it.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:57 pm

Posts: 39

Mia, I was wondering if you could post the Vera/Apollo fic on this thread. My computer won't let me on Fanfiction.net, and I REALLY want to read it. I swear, I'm so obsessed with these two.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Sure, TaurusChick12. By special request, here is the first chapter of "Beginnings." There actually is another chapter coming as well. This may turn into an ongoing story as I'm rather fond of the pairing at the moment. AJ spoilers follow.

Spoiler: Beginnings
Vera shuddered slightly as she took a deep breath and tucked her drawing pad under her arm, her mind consumed with fear as she stared out through the open door. It had been two weeks since she her trial ended, and she had been released from the hospital after almost dying of Atroquinine poisoning. Vera could still remember the promise she made that day after waking up: to finally stop hiding from the world and take back her life. As she looked outside now though, Vera could feel her mouth go dry and her heart started pounding harder. Just as she was about to give up, a gentle hand settled on her arm, drawing her attention.

“Are you okay, Vera?” Apollo asked, the concern obvious in his voice. He had been trying to encourage her to venture outside, and after two weeks worth of daily visits, today she had finally agreed. However, as he watched her now, Apollo worried that perhaps he was pushing her too quickly. He didn't want to frighten her more by rushing things. “If this is too much we can wait, Vera. There's no rush.”

“No!” Although Vera spoke softly, the amount of force in her voice surprised Apollo. Grabbing his hand tightly and pulling herself close to his side, Vera spoke again timidly. “I... I want to do this. Please. I'm ready now to go outside now, Mr. Justice.”

Smiling proudly at her, he put his arm around her waist to encourage her. “Okay, Vera. If you think you're ready... And I told you that you could call me Apollo.”

“O-okay,” Vera stuttered, surprised to feel her face redden a bit under his kind gaze and pulled away from him for a moment. There was something about him that brought out feelings in her that she had never felt before and that she had trouble understanding. They weren't unpleasant, just different. Not quite sure what to do with those feelings, she was quick to push them aside. Seeing the worried look in his eyes, she smiled tentatively in an attempt to reassure him. Clutching his arm again, Vera closed her eyes as she followed Apollo outside. The feel of the uneven ground was so different from the smooth floors inside her home and for a second her mind was seized with fear again. The outside world was dangerous and as long as she was outside, she was in danger.

Seeing her uncertainty, Apollo reached out and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “It's okay, Vera,” he whispered softly into her ear. “Open your eyes and look around. You're outside and nothing has happened. You can always trust me, Vera. I promise I won't let anything happen to you.”

Taking comfort in his words, Vera opened her eyes slowly and looked around. Despite the fact that she had lived in this area for a long time, Vera had spent most of her life hiding away from the outside world. This was the first time in a long time that she had really looked at her surroundings.

As the sun shone down on them, Apollo watched Vera carefully to make sure she was okay. He was pleased that the day was so nice and even happier as he noticed her start to relax. Still holding her hand, he squeezed it again softly, pulling her attention back to him. “Do you want to walk a bit?”

After pulling her free hand to her face and nibbling on her fingernail, Vera finally nodded. Together they then started to make their way down the street slowly with Vera staying very close to Apollo. The sights and sounds were all so new and frightening, but Apollo's firm grasp on her hand gave her the needed boost of confidence to persevere. As the time passed, Vera found herself able to relax more and enjoy the walk.

As a loud barking suddenly filled the air, disrupting the peaceful outing, Vera jumped up fearfully and huddled close to Apollo again, burying her head in his chest. Glancing worriedly at Vera, who was now trembling, Apollo wrapped his arms around her as he tried to comfort her. “It's okay, Vera,” he said, his voice strong and soothing. “That sound is just a dog's bark. There is nothing to be worried about. Promise.” Feeling Vera relax some in his arms, Apollo breathed a sigh of relief as he turned his attention from Vera for a second and scanned the area for the source of the disturbance and saw a woman walking her dog; an excitable collie who was now straining on the leash and barking at a nearby tree. Considering the situation carefully, Apollo turned his attention back to Vera as he finally came to his conclusion. “Vera, I have an idea, but I don't want to push you too hard your first time out. How are you feeling?”

Breathing deeply, Vera tried to collect herself enough to come to a decision and answer his question. Although still shaken by her experience, the feel of Apollo's comforting embrace and the understanding in his soft eyes gave her the necessary confidence boost to continue. Although Vera knew that the world could be a dangerous place, she had learned recently that hiding from it was not the answer. Besides, she knew she could trust Apollo completely. If he believed this plan would help, then she was ready for this. Vera's voice was barely audible as she spoke, “I'm okay... I trust you.”

Squeezing her hand reassuringly, Apollo smiled. “I'm going to go talk to that woman over there and if she's okay with it, I going to bring her dog over here.” Seeing Vera's eyes fly open at this idea, Apollo spoke again quickly, her hand still gripped tightly in his own as he tried to comfort her again. “You don't need to worry, Vera. We won't go any further with this than you're ready to. I promise.” Pausing for a second, Apollo frowned. “Are you sure you're okay with this? You don't have to do this if you don't want to.”

“...No...no, I'm ready.” Vera stuttered a bit as she spoke, but there was a determination in her voice that surprised Apollo. Her nervousness getting the better of her, Vera found herself unable to smile. Picking up her pad, Vera drew a smiley face to reassure him that she was ready.

“Okay,” Apollo smiled quickly as he dropped her hand and jogged over to where the woman was now. Vera watched anxiously as they spoke and Apollo played with the dog for several minutes, convinced that something bad was going to happen to him, but to her great relief, the conversation passed without incident and Apollo returned to her quickly with the collie by his side. Having calmed down quite a bit since the earlier excitement, the dog now sat by Apollo's side calmly and wagged his tail happily. Stroking the dog's head, Apollo turned to Vera. “Vera, this is Scooter. I talked to his owner and she says he is a very nice dog. He wanted to come over and say hello.”

“H-he's very pretty,” Vera said as she inspected the collie carefully. Although still nervous, she took a step towards the dog. “Hello, Scooter.” The dog wagged his tail faster in response to her voice, but Apollo kept a firm hand on the leash to make sure there were no sudden movements from Scooter that might frighten Vera. “Is it okay if I pet him like you're doing?” Vera asked, glancing up at Apollo.

Smiling kindly, Apollo nodded. “Go ahead. Let him smell your hand first so that he knows you're friendly.”

Following his instructions, Vera did just that. Moving slowly, Vera cautiously reached out to pet the dog's head, running her finger's over Scooter's silky fur. The collie's tail now wagged at full speed as the dog leaned into Vera's touch, causing a genuine smile to cross her face. “He's really nice!” Pulling out her pad, Vera started to sketch something furiously.

Apollo watched her curiously as Vera continued to draw on her pad. “What are you working on?”

“I-I want to draw Scooter. He's so pretty and nice. I want to make sure I have a picture of him,” Vera answered, her gaze shifting to Apollo for just a second as she answered his question before returning to her drawing. “Done,” Vera announced happily, finally setting aside her pencil. Kneeling beside Scooter, Vera showed the dog her sketch. “See, Scooter? That's you.”

Sniffing at the drawing, Scooter nudged it gently with his nose. Apollo chuckled softly at the scene in front of him, immensely pleased at how well Vera was doing. “I think Scooter approves.” Glancing over his shoulder to where Scooter's owner was waiting, Apollo let out a disappointed sigh at having to end this early, but he had promised Scooter's owner that he wouldn't keep her dog long. She had been kind enough to allow him to borrow Scooter temporarily and it wouldn't be fair to repay her kindness by abusing it. Besides, Vera had made incredible progress today, and it would be best to end this experience on a good note.

As though reading his mind, Vera asked, “Is it time to say good bye to Scooter?”

Nodding, Apollo responded gently. “Yeah, he has to go home now. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes, it's okay,” Vera said, giving Scooter a final goodbye pat. “It was very nice to meet you, Scooter.”

After Apollo had returned Scooter to his owner with an immense amount of thanks, Vera and Apollo headed back to the studio. As they reached the studio's front door, Apollo's cell phone started to ring and with a glance at the incoming number, he shot Vera an apologetic look and answered it. “Hey, Trucy.” Apollo fell silent for several moments as he listened intently. “Huh? You are officially not making sense.” After a few more moments of silence, Apollo sighed heavily, “I'll be over soon, Trucy. Let me finish up with Vera. I'll see you soon.” Finally hanging up the phone, Apollo started to explain the situation, but Vera spoke up first.

“... You have to leave?” Vera asked, surprised by the amount of disappointment welling up inside her at the thought of him leaving.

Apollo nodded slowly, the disappointment obvious on his own face. “I'm sorry, Vera. Trucy needs some help with something for her magic show and Mr. Wright is out of town until later tonight. If I don't go give her a hand, I'll never get any peace.”

Taking a step toward her, Apollo absentmindedly brushed a bit of her hair aside, causing Vera to blush at the feel of his fingers against her face and sending a rush of warmth through her. It was that new feeling again. It was both strange and yet comforting in some way.

Apollo suddenly seemed to realize what he had been doing. His own face went red as he pulled his hand away, much to Vera's surprise and disappointment. “I-I'm sorry, Vera. I guess my mind was wandering a bit.” Trying to bluff his way past his own discomfort, Apollo continued to speak, his voice suddenly quick and nervous, “So, I should be going I guess. Will you be okay?”

Not understanding his reaction, Vera drew a smiley face on her pad in a quick attempt to reassure him. “You'll come back tomorrow, right?” she asked shyly, already looking forward to the next day.

Apollo nodded. “Of course I'll be back. I wouldn't miss a visit with you.” As Apollo turned to leave, he hesitated. Turning back to face Vera, he asked, “How are you feeling after our adventure today?”

Surprised by the sudden question, Vera responded by drawing another smiley face. “I had so much fun. It was wonderful. Why?”

Tilting his head slightly, he smiled gently. “How would you like to go to Trucy's magic show tonight? I know you like magic and she's been bugging me to bring you anyway. I'd go help Trucy set up and then swing back here to pick you up. Of course there will be a decent crowd, so if you don't feel up to it yet...”

“I'd love to,” Vera responded quickly, her eyes shining and a rare smile on her face. The second of the day, Apollo was pleased to note. “I-I'd like to go see Trucy's magic. Will she use the Amazing Mr. Hat tonight as well?”

Rolling his eyes a bit, Apollo laughed, “I can pretty much guarantee that she will. Mr. Hat is one of her favorite tricks... she uses it all the time. So, you'd like to go?” Seeing Vera nod vehemently, Apollo grinned. “I'll be back in a couple hours to pick you up then. I'll see you soon, Vera.”

“Goodbye... Apollo,” Vera responded quietly before they parted. As she closed the door, Vera glanced anxiously at the clock. Although she didn't fully understand these feelings he caused in her yet, they were becoming more and more welcome. Smiling at the thought of seeing him again so soon, Vera knew these next two hours couldn't pass quick enough for her.


And thank you Bruce and kana-hajime for the lovely reviews. I appreciate the kind comments.
As for Vera's personality...
Spoiler: AJ/GS4
I agree that she's been through a great deal and that would be hard to overcome, but she also fully understands that she was wrong to lock herself away like that. I read Vera as being pretty resilient underneath everything and while I have no doubt that she isn't ready to face the world on her own, I do think that with someone there to support her she could pull herself past her fears some. Of course that is just my reading of her character and I may well have rushed Vera's development some. Something to remember. Thank you!

Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25


Last edited by Mia_Fey on Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

Maya/Phoenix - You know you dig it.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:57 pm

Posts: 39

Thank you so much! :redd:
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Weeeeeee!!!!!

Gender: Male

Location: Back to making donuts and slides everywhere...

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:16 am

Posts: 488

Mia_Fey wrote:

And thank you Bruce and kana-hajime for the lovely reviews. I appreciate the kind comments.
As for Vera's personality...
Spoiler: AJ/GS4
I agree that she's been through a great deal and that would be hard to overcome, but she also fully understands that she was wrong to lock herself away like that. I read Vera as being pretty resilient underneath everything and while I have no doubt that she isn't ready to face the world on her own, I do think that with someone there to support her she could pull herself past her fears some. Of course that is just my reading of her character and I may well have rushed Vera's development some. Something to remember. Thank you!


Well, the reason why I was a bit picky was that I did work with someone who was pretty much afraid of the world because of her fear of boys. It stemmed from her past which I won't elaborate any more on. It was tough for her and as well as me as I was the first guy that genuinely wanted to help. But we had to overcome her problem so we took it in baby steps by having me being in the company of some women at work, then gradually scale the women back by one until she was fully comfortable with me. It was hard but that's the experience with it.

So when I read your fanfic, you brought out that experience which I can relate to. Just being picky but then again, that's just me... :yuusaku:
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

The Potatoe's NOT a lie!! *cheers*

Gender: Male

Location: Having fun in the land of potatoes! (Ahh! Potatobadger!)

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 6:24 pm

Posts: 713

Mia, I didn't realize that you were the one who wrote the Polly/Vera fic! That makes it twice as awesome!

I commented as Hunter-the-Lynx!
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Oh that was you, Ben! Thank you so much for the wonderful comment and thank you for adding it to your favorites list. I'm so happy that you liked it! :odoroki: and :draw: are happy too. :) Thank you again!




And Bruce, I certainly understand where you're coming from and you definitely never have to worry about being picky. :) Constructive criticism helps me improve my writing, so I'm always happy to hear all comments and opinions. In short, picky is good.
Spoiler: AJ/GS4
I see your point, but Vera's situation is a bit different as its not a fear of men alone, but a fear of the world in general stemming from the kidnapping attempt when she was young so her fear wouldn't be enhanced by Apollo simply because he's a guy. She was afraid because in her mind all people were bad, but by the end of the trial she's learned that this isn't true. At the very least she now knows four people who are good (Apollo, Trucy, Phoenix, and Klavier). Also, she does seem to trust Apollo by the end of the case as well as being very grateful to him, so after two weeks of his visiting her everyday, I could see her being willing to go along with him. Especially in light of her declaration to stop being controlled by her fear which she makes at the end of the game.
Thank you again for the advice! :butzthumbs: It's definitely appreciated.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 3/11)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Well that didn't work. :oops: I tried to send a PM based of a post in the thread and hit the wrong button. I'm sorry for double posting like this. Please forgive me. :larry: I am clearly completely inept tonight. I'll have something new to post soon promise! Maybe two things to post if I'm lucky. I'm sorry!
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Right, anyway... This time I come with an update! I have been dying to write a post-AJ Phoenix/Iris fic since finishing the game and with after some fun discussions in the Phoenix and Iris thread, I finally managed to get off my lazy butt and write it. The story does contain AJ/GS4 spoilers. Special thanks to Writer Awakened and Xero Wright for being awesome and proofing this. The story is set a couple days after the Vera's trial comes to an end. I hope you guys enjoy it. Please tell me what you think!
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Weeeeeee!!!!!

Gender: Male

Location: Back to making donuts and slides everywhere...

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:16 am

Posts: 488

Oh...wow. Well, what can I say? I really can't fault your fanfiction, Mia. Looks like you used that idea we had in our Iris/Phoenix thread :-P

Anyway, keep it up.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:25 am

Posts: 3541

LONG LIVE THE SWEATER!

I think a couple days is a bit of a short time to start worrying about not getting any calls, but I guess if it's like a daily routine at that point...

Anyway, very sweet and lovely like always, Miss Fey. :shoe:
Image
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

In Justice We Trust

Gender: Male

Location: Southern California

Rank: Admin

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:31 pm

Posts: 4215

In the new one, it's easy to tell that Phoenix and Iris have been together much longer. Psychologically speaking, the passion in most romantic relationships wears off after enough time, giving way to intimacy and commitment if such aspects were present in the beginning. Your latest story seems to characterize some of that. I can tell that there's still some passion in there--just not as much as when their relationship was relatively new.
Image
I'll always love you, Max.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Thanks you guys! I'm very happy that you all liked it. I quite enjoyed writing it. :)

@Franzise- You're may be right that two days is a bit quick for Iris to be worrying so much, but they were still very close by that time. It's a good point though and I'll think about it. I may edit the story and add in a couple extra days. Thanks for the advice. Oh and LONG LIVE THE SWEATER! :)
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

My son is bored. Care to play with him?

Gender: Male

Location: Minnesota

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:06 am

Posts: 725

Loved it. Iris as a kindergarten teacher...I can see it. That might raise some interesting financial questions for them, but the job fits. Also, I notice some people think it odd that Iris should start to worry after only two days, but I'm inclined to respectfully disagree. She's very strong, but I wouldn't necessarily call her secure. She'd probably recognize it as an irrational fear, but I can see her bringing it up, especially if he was not answering her calls.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

likes to object! C:

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Posts: 118

Aww, that latest one of your fanfictions was very very very cute... I really loved it! :D Let's hope that Trucy will find her mommy very soon. :D
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Thank you for the kind words! I'm so happy that you guys liked it. Feedback is always good. :)

@ Gregory- Iris would clearly be the most loved kindergarten teacher ever. She's such a sweetie. And I do see your point about Iris. That was certainly a part of my reasoning when I wrote that part of the story. Thank you for the kind review.

@ ssophiaa- I'm thrilled that you liked it. And, I hope Trucy gets a mommy too and that it's Iris. Thanks for the wonderful review.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

likes to object! C:

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Posts: 118

Ah, no problem, Mia_Fey. I wish I could write a more constructive review, but my English not enough to do that. I can understand it so well, but It's really hard to write it by myself. :)
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

ssophiaa wrote:
Ah, no problem, Mia_Fey. I wish I could write a more constructive review, but my English not enough to do that. I can understand it so well, but It's really hard to write it by myself. :)



I think your reviews are wonderful, so don't get down on yourself. Just knowing that people are reading and enjoying my stuff is a wonderful source of encouragement for me. Feedback is great thing and I certainly appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my fics. Actually that last comment applies to all the fantastic people who have reviewed my stories (particularly the ones who do so consistently). Thank you so much! :edgy:
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

likes to object! C:

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Posts: 118

Mia_Fey wrote:
I think your reviews are wonderful, so don't get down on yourself. Just knowing that people are reading and enjoying my stuff is a wonderful source of encouragement for me. Feedback is great thing and I certainly appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my fics. Actually that last comment applies to all the fantastic people who have reviewed my stories (particularly the ones who do so consistently). Thank you so much! :edgy:


Aww, you really deserve the most beautiful reviews, thank you! <33
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Sig and Avie created by awesome Vicki!!

Gender: Female

Location: If I'm Online, I must be at my computer (duh)

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:46 pm

Posts: 598

I've always loved the Iris/Nick pairing and your fanfics are absolutely beautiful! I've always read them as a guest, but I decided I should let you know my appreciation. You also opened me up to the idea of Apollo/Vera, which I didn't think much of before. Actually, that fanfic inspired me to create another 5-chapter fanfic of that couple, but I'm still in my current one, so I'll have to wait to try my hand at a very different (and hopefully slightly easier) couple to write about.

I love how you've made Iris more like a strong, motherly figure who cares very deeply for Nick instead of a very meek girl who constantly needs protection. We all know Iris is very sweet and loving, but you've been able to make her humanely sweet instead of cheezy "oh-she's-just-a-nice-gal" sweet. Wait, did I just confuse myself? :payne: It made sense in my head, I swear!

Anyway, excellant job! :edgy: I hope that when I'm able to start my fanfic focusing on Apollo/Vera, I can characterize them well enough to make their love believable. I would try my hand at Iris/Nick, but I'm slightly imitated by all the other wonderful (including your) fanfics out there.
Image
NEW:V-Day Drabbles! | Flawless Achievement | These Wounds Can Heal | When the Wall Crumbles
Daughter of Xero and Mystic Mina. Sister of Lana & Ulala
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 4/14 with a Phoenix/Iris fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Caelestis wrote:
I've always loved the Iris/Nick pairing and your fanfics are absolutely beautiful! I've always read them as a guest, but I decided I should let you know my appreciation. You also opened me up to the idea of Apollo/Vera, which I didn't think much of before. Actually, that fanfic inspired me to create another 5-chapter fanfic of that couple, but I'm still in my current one, so I'll have to wait to try my hand at a very different (and hopefully slightly easier) couple to write about.

I love how you've made Iris more like a strong, motherly figure who cares very deeply for Nick instead of a very meek girl who constantly needs protection. We all know Iris is very sweet and loving, but you've been able to make her humanely sweet instead of cheezy "oh-she's-just-a-nice-gal" sweet. Wait, did I just confuse myself? :payne: It made sense in my head, I swear!

Anyway, excellant job! :edgy: I hope that when I'm able to start my fanfic focusing on Apollo/Vera, I can characterize them well enough to make their love believable. I would try my hand at Iris/Nick, but I'm slightly imitated by all the other wonderful (including your) fanfics out there.


I'm so happy you like my stories! I'm also very happy to hear that Iris's character is coming off well. She's a lot of fun to write. Thank you for the wonderful comments!

And you're too hard on yourself. Your writing is as good as anything I can produce (perhaps even better). If you want to write a Phoenix/Iris story, I think you should go for it. I'll be sure to read it. Apollo/Vera is good too though. I'll keep an eye out for it. :edgy:

Thanks again for the kind words!
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Update time! I added another chapter to "Beginnings." This story may be ongoing, but I'm rather undecided on that point at the moment. As you guys know, I rarely do longer stuff, so we'll see what happens. Probably a lot of my decision will come from the kinds of responses I get to the story and how long the fic holds my interest. Besides, I need to figure out where I'm going with this story if I'm going to be able to continue it. Anyway, enjoy! As always, reviews make me happy, so please let me know what you guys think. On a side note, Xero gets a very special thank you for beta-ing this chapter for me and putting up with my nagging.
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

likes to object! C:

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Posts: 118

I’m glad that you decided to add more chapters. I mean there will be more, am I right? C:
It was really cute! I’m not really an Apollo/Vera shipper (I cant pair Polly up with anyone actually XD ) but your stories always make me feel something warm in my heart. I love them.
This time I’ll try to be a more constructive reviewer. I really love your exposition (is this the right word?) style, your choice of words and your skill to keep everyone in character. But sometimes I think some of your stories lacking some ‘oomph’ in them. I mean they are telling us some parts from everyday life. But there can also be unexpected events in everyday life, right? If you’re aiming to adding more chapters, you can try something new and write about some exciting events happens in Vera’s, Apollo’s and Wrights’ life. Let me give you an example, Trucy may try to bring Vera in her art class and Apollo may not agree with her thinking being surrounded with bunch of teenagers would harm Vera’s determination to get used to the outside world. Or; Vera might forget her apartment/studio keys at home, so she may stay at Apollo’s for the night. Then a burglar or just a nightmare would create a chaos! Anyway, I guess you got my point. Still, it’s a suggestion and you don’t have to take it seriously. I love your stories as the way they are. C:
I’m always looking forward to read your fan fictions, you know that. :minuki:
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

I'm really happy that you liked it!
ssophiaa wrote:
If you’re aiming to adding more chapters, you can try something new and write about some exciting events happens in Vera’s, Apollo’s and Wrights’ life. Let me give you an example, Trucy may try to bring Vera in her art class and Apollo may not agree with her thinking being surrounded with bunch of teenagers would harm Vera’s determination to get used to the outside world.

All your suggestions are actually pretty interesting, but this is my favorite of the bunch as I think that with a few alterations I might be able to fit it into the next chapter which is great because I'm currently low on ideas.

Spoiler: Brainstorming, marked because it involves the end of the last chapter
I sort of like the idea of Vera very suddenly having to deal with a bunch of strangers in a much more direct way then happens in this last chapter. So having Trucy show up at the office with some friends, especially since she wouldn't know that Vera was coming to the office since Apollo made the offer last minute when Trucy wasn't there and it's likely that he wouldn't see her again until after school, could lead to an interesting situation and if I manage to write it well, it could act as a nice way to push Apollo and Vera closer while developing Vera's character (of course whether I write well enough to handle it correctly is always an iffy proposition). I clearly need to think this through some more, but it gives me a great starting point. Besides, this might offer me the opportunity to bring Pearl into the story as one of Trucy's friends which would be fun. I've only written Pearl once briefly and I've never even tried to write sixteen year old Pearl. I haven't decided on anything yet though.


I'll keep your suggestions in mind. Thanks so much for the advice and as always thank you for the kind words. I appreciate them. :edgy:
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

You're too slow!

Gender: Male

Location: California, Camarillo

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 3:13 am

Posts: 178

I just read your Apollo/Vera fic and I like it!

I don't really have much constructive criticism, so keep it up! (And good job on starting on a multi-chapter fic!)
Image Image
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

In Justice We Trust

Gender: Male

Location: Southern California

Rank: Admin

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:31 pm

Posts: 4215

Well done. So far, you seem to be handling the chapter style just fine. Considering that the story covers a transition for Vera, writer's block will probably be less common, but still possible. When it was mentioned that Phoenix was also seeing the show, I half-expected him to be with Iris.

Moving on, it seemed a bit redundant at times when the story went into detail about Vera's shyness again. There was also one spelling error that bothered me: "Her fear of the outside world had controlled he life..." This might not apply to everyone, but spelling errors tend to blast me back into reality and make it harder for me to get into a story. Other than that, I think you did a good job. I like how you don't dash right into a romantic relationship between Apollo and Vera, but instead take a more realistic approach--love often takes a while to reach its full strength, and oftentimes people will not even realize that they're in love for a long time.
Image
I'll always love you, Max.
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Yay for reviews! Thanks for the feedback!

@ superangelo- Thank you! It's been a while since I've heard from you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I'm rather excited about trying a multi-chaptered fic at the moment. Hopefully it'll turn out okay. Thanks again!

@ General Luigi- Ack! Spelling mistake and rather awkward one at that! Fixed now. Thank you for pointing that out. :) As for Iris, perhaps she'll make an appearance at some point in the story (kind of depends how this works out), but it's unlikely that she will show up as Phoenix's girlfriend in the course of this story since I made a big point about Phoenix having not told Trucy about Iris yet in "Rekindling" (although this is set a bit after that story so having that happen wouldn't break with the story timeline, but it still follows closely enough that I think Phoenix would probably continue to be careful not to get Trucy's hopes up just in case even though he was resolved to make things work by the end of that story). So, while I wouldn't rule out the possibility of my implying Phoenix/Iris stuff, it's unlikely to really come into this particular story because of the timing. I'm glad you like how I'm portraying the developing romance and I agree with you. Love has to come out of somewhere. It can't just appear after two weeks. Love and trust take time. Thanks again for the review!
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

You're too slow!

Gender: Male

Location: California, Camarillo

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 3:13 am

Posts: 178

Yeah, I totally forgot that you wrote fanfiction kinda often and I remembered when you updated with the Ch.2 of the Apollo/Vera fic >_>
Image Image
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title
User avatar

Weeeeeee!!!!!

Gender: Male

Location: Back to making donuts and slides everywhere...

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:16 am

Posts: 488

A multi-chapter fic for Apollo/Vera? Interesting concept there Mia. After reading the latest chapter, I do have some very slight criticism about it, almost trivial really. I do believe that in the game, there is a window so I wouldn't be surprised if her father was with her explaining the night sky for her and to tell her of the 'wings of freedom' to her. The last point is the business card as I assumed Apollo's already given one to her himself or from Trucy when they first met her in prison...

Other than that, an interesting fic and will be seeing how this pans out...
Re: Mia_Fey's fanfiction (Updated 5/3 with an Apollo/Vera fic)Topic%20Title

True love is forever.

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55 am

Posts: 2182

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
A multi-chapter fic for Apollo/Vera? Interesting concept there Mia. After reading the latest chapter, I do have some very slight criticism about it, almost trivial really. I do believe that in the game, there is a window so I wouldn't be surprised if her father was with her explaining the night sky for her and to tell her of the 'wings of freedom' to her. The last point is the business card as I assumed Apollo's already given one to her himself or from Trucy when they first met her in prison...

Other than that, an interesting fic and will be seeing how this pans out...


You aren't the only one interested in seeing how this turns out. Even I haven't fully figured out what I'm doing with this story. I need to fix that sooner rather then later. :P

To your excellent points, I actually checked the CR main page and I don't see any windows in Drew Studio, but I might just not be spotting it (this certainly wouldn't be the first time I missed seeing something right in front of me :shoe: ). Still with as frightened as Vera was of the outside world to the point that she claimed simply going outside would kill her, I could see her avoiding windows. As for the business card, I don't recall that coming up in the game but that doesn't mean anything (I should replay the case again. I did a few times before starting this story to get a feel for Vera's character, but I should probably run through the case again at some time in the near future so little details don't get me). I know Vera gives him her ID card, but I'm not sure if Apollo's giving anything to her ever comes up. Either way, the whole business card thing was more a matter of what I thought Apollo would have available as far as paper goes. I know with my dad (a lawyer himself) and his colleagues, if they need to write something down in a hurry then they tend to grab one of their business cards simply because they usually have extras with them just in case and it's just readily available scrap paper. Apollo wasn't really giving her the card for the card itself, but for all the numbers he'd scribbled on the card. Good points though. Perhaps I'll give the story a look over and see if I can make those things clearer.

Thanks for the great review! Always appreciated. :edgy:
Proud Supporter of Phoenix/Iris, Ron/Dessie, Klavier/Ema, and Apollo/Vera
Fanfics Updated-12/25
Page 3 of 7 [ 242 posts ] 
Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  

 Board index » Present Evidence » Present Testimony

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Jump to:  
News News Site map Site map SitemapIndex SitemapIndex RSS Feed RSS Feed Channel list Channel list
Powered by phpBB

phpBB SEO