Here's my fanfic about Kristoph and Dahlia. I know it's wierd, but still..

doesn't kick the bucket like she's supposed to...

Last edited by Gotta Luv Edgey! on Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"What did you say your name was again, miss?" asked the world's most ugliest man who was supposed to execute me.

"Why do I have to tell you dweeb?" I asked. I stuck my head up high away from him. This bed was uncomforatable. I saw him come closer.

"I may be able to get you out of here." He whispered.

"What is your name?" I asked trying to sound friendly.

"That doesn't matter, tell me yours." He decided.

"Fine, my name is Dahlia. Just get me out of here!" I demanded, trying to wiggle out of the ropes that bound my hands and feet. The dweeb-I mean man came and took the ropes off and I sat up.

"You need to hurry." He said.

"I know that. I'm not stupid." I snarled. I took the shot that was supposed to go into me and ran.

Last edited by Gotta Luv Edgey! on Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I almost ran into a man with long blonde hair. He was sort of handsome, maybe if he took off his nerdy glasses.

"Wait-"He said reaching out for me. Damn! I was spotted. He grabbed my wrretched Black and white striped uniform. "Who are you?" The man looked like an attourney...like the man who had put me behind bars, Phoenix Wright. "Speak to me."

"Why should I speak to a whore like you?" I demanded and he laughed. He drug me to some hallway and out of the building.

"Stay in here and you'll be fine until I come back." He ordered. He unlocked a very expesive car and motioned me in. He locked me and he waved to me as he entered the building. As soon as he entered that building I searched around for a key. I was unsucsesful at finding a key or something sharp to pick the lock with.

Dang, this whore's smart. I thought to myself.

Last edited by Gotta Luv Edgey! on Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's an interesting plot concept, I'll say that much. I've seen some people supporting that relationship, but your addition of Dahlia avoiding her execution fascinates me.
Right now, I find myself unable to get into the story, though. First of all, if you're going to make Dahlia a main character, please spell her name right. Second, what's this "shot that was supposed to go into" her? Dahlia was hanged, not injected. Third, I'm having trouble believing your portrayal of Dahlia. I'll admit she has an attitude when she's in a bad mood, but she's coming off as just plain nasty to me in this story. Usually, she's able to seem cute and innocent until she completely loses her calm. Finally, please keep an eye on spelling and grammar; misspelled words stick out like a tree in the middle of a grassland.

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Thanks...I'll edit stuff...sorry.

You needn't apologize. Tell me, are you relatively new to writing fan fiction? I rarely see stories here that don't do whole chapters in one fell swoop.

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Yeah I'm new with this sort of thing...very new...I just started it less than a week ago.

I sat there pondering whether I should get out and run or not.

Meanwhile...

That woman called me a whore! I thought to myself as I walked intothe security room. She was so gorgeous, I can't begin to imagine why she was there. She's so innocent, but then again mostly everyone looks innocent.

I looked around and the security room was empty. Everyone must've been sent to get her. Was she that important? I spotted the tape that had recorded everything. I yanked it out and I grabbed the nearest magnet and erased all the data on the tape. I wiped my fingerprints off and i stuck it back in with my shirt. As I stuck the tape in, I heard footsteps.

"Who's there?" asked a female voice.

"It's me, the defense attourney Kristoph Gavin." I answered and several people entered the room. "What were you doing?" I had to play stupid. "I looked on the tape and there was nothing. Someone must've come in while you were gone."

"Someone else came in? Who was it?" asked a burly man.

"I have no clue. I just came in to ask you a question and I forgot what I was going to ask." I explained.

"A woman named Dahlia Hawthorne escaped. She was charged of three murders. She killed her former boyfriend years ago, a police woman, and a man who went to prison since he was charged of the police woman's murder. She's extremely smart. She's got a mastermind. I warn you watch out! She can wrap you around her finger just like that!" he snapped. "Don't be fooled by her! She may act sweet now, but inside she's quite the demon." The burly man kept on talking. Something about her being a daughter of a Fey woman who's behind bars.

How can she be nice? She's mean in a cute sort of way! Why was she acting so cruel to me? Was it because she was just in prison and everyone knew she was in there for a reason? I thought. She's pretty in pink...little miss innocent...I guess that makes two of us. After sending that poisoned stamp to Drew Misham I am no longer innocent. I laughed to myself.

I think it's good and i'm pretty interested to see how this turns out, keep writing!

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thanks! Here's another like page of it...hopefully mum doesn't come along

It was getting hot in here. I was wondering when the man would come back. For some reason I was interested in him. Not that he was handsome or anything. I looked out the window and there he was. He had a smirk on his face. He unlocked the door and I went in the passenger side.

"What were you doing?"I demanded.

"Oh, I took care of some 'business'. It's nothing to worry about. You can breathe now." HE noticed that I wasn't breathing! He came into the car and started the car. He put his seatbelt on and he waited for me to put mine on. I buckled myself and he pulled out of the prison parking lot. "So Dahlia, I hear you're really sweet." He winked. He was teasing me, and I didn't like it.

"Who are you?" I asked. I smiled at him and he blushed.

"I'm Kristoph Gavin."

"Ah, Kristy. Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to my house. Hopefully my brother doesn't come around." He grumbled.

"Your brother? Does he live with you?"

"Nope, thank God. You may have heard of him. He's a brand new prosecutor and he's the leader of a band called the Gavinneers. He plays the guitar."

"Oh..." If his brother was a rockstar and looked like him then he's most likely hot. "Is he nice?"

"Most of the time. Like most siblings. He's a pain in the butt a lot though."

"I know how you feel. I have a twin sister named Iris. She's TOO nice, you know?"

"Yeah I know, they act like Mr.Goodshoes all the time."

"Little Miss Innocent or dumb...they do that a lot too. Every boy or girl," considering Kristy's brother. "comes to them. I hate it!" And I truly did.

"Me too. Dahlia you aren't so bad. There's nothing wrong with you. Your head is screwed on straight. Why were you behind bars?"

"Well, Mia Fey," His eyes rose when he heard the name. "Put me behind bars. I had blamed Phoenix Wright for my crim and they caught me. I killed a man before the whole Phoenix Wright case so Mia Fey was very suspicious because I'd managed to stay completely innocent when my former friend, at the poison in my necklace. I also managed to put another man in a coma."

"wow, jeez Dahlia. I can't say I'm much better."

"What do you mean?" I rose an eyebrow. SO not all law people are completely clean.

"Well, I mailed a poisonous stamp to a forger. So far he hasn't licked the stamp." He smiled and laughed. At first the laugh seemed so innocent but then it started to sound like a lunatic's.

"my murders were more...how would I say it? Complicated. I actually had someone to blame instead of me."

"Dahlia, I did it so that no one can trace who sent it!"

"But then they can come up with you as a suspect!" He was trying to say that his murders more complicated?! "Besides they can tell whose writing it is."

"What if I did something more challenging?" He smiled. I thought that he was trying to impress me.

"I don't think you could handle it." I turned my head, and he laughed. "Murder is not to be taken lightly Kristoph." And I meant it. "Even I know that."

"We're here Dahlia." Kirsty said and I saw a huge mansion. It was all white with bushes surrounding it. There was a circular drive way and in the middle was a fountain.

"Wow." I was shocked. I knew he was fancy, but I had no idea that he was this rich. "you must be payed a lot more than what Feenie or Mia does."

"Feenie?" His look was puzzling.

"Phoenix, I used to call him Feenie, when he was mine anyway..." I'm sure that stupid Maya Fey had taken my place.

"How do you know so much about Phoenix? You've been behind bars for years!"

"Well mother told me a lot about him. Just because we were in different cells doesn't mean anything. She discussed him and her hatred for him. If I ever got out she wanted me to try to be the master. I guess I'll disguise myself as Iris and claim it. Now that I'm out I might as well cause some trouble." I emphasized some. I smiled.

"You're gorgeous when you smile." He complimented.

"Am I going to stay here?"

"I dunno, are you?" He smiled.

"Yes. Yes, and for how long?" I flirted. Just because he had to do with the law doesn't mean he wasn't nice.

"How long are you staying?" He winked.

"How long do you want me?" I rose an eyebrow.

"As long as you want. I can fford you, I think anyway." He teased. He stuck out his tongue at me. I stuck mine out at him and got out of the car.

"Um, Kristy, I need some clothes." I stated. I didn't mean to be rude or anything.

"You can wear my clothes Dahlia." What was he crazy? I can't fit into his clothes! He opened the front door and I saw vases and bookshelves. There was a stairway right away and Kristy led me upstairs. When we were done with the marble steps, we went through a long hallway and entered through a door to the left. There was a huge Blue bed and some books on the table beside it. I spotted an open closet and there were a ton of Blue jackets and pants. He took out a pair and tossed them at me. He led me towards a hidden bathroom. I shut the door and went in. I slowly took off the prison uniform and put Kristy's clothes on. I stuck his shirt on first. It ran a little above my knees. I pulled his pants up and there would have to be a second of me to fit in here. I opened the door and Kristy laughed. I blushed and he put his hands around my head.

"You just tell me what you need Dahlia and I'll get it for you." His nose rubbed my nose. I dropped the pants in shock. He grabbed them before they dropped and he had them pinned to my waist by his hands. He held my waist firmly. I met his gorgeous Blue eyes. I took his glasses and oh, he was gorgeous. "I can't see you." He broke the silence. "Unless you come closer." I slowly moved towards him and we rubbed noses. Then he pecked me on the lips. Kristy pulled away and got a paper and a pen. "List what you want."

"You need contacts!"

"What?" He grabbed his glasses out of my hands.

"You NEED contacts!" I insisted.