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Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; my first story. Chapter 2. Now.Topic%20Title
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Miles Kirbworth

Gender: None specified

Location: Marvelling at his miraculous ability to make people hate him whenever he opens his mouth

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:00 am

Posts: 549

Yeah, it's a series of stories starring my OC, Phoenix's apprentice. I'm not that great at this kind of thing, so if you see anything wrong, please tell me. Sincere apologies if any of the official characters are OOC.
Sad, isn't it, that I have nothing better to do than this.

Disclaimer: Phoenix Wright and any publicly recognizable characters belong to Capcom.
There. I said it. Now let's move on with our lives.

Spoiler: Profile for my OC, the main character, Justin
Name: Justin Laws
Age: 22
Occupation: Defense Attorney, duh
Appearance: 6'3" tall, and slim. Has short, bristly blond hair, indigo-blue eyes, and very pale skin.
He usually wears a suit like Phoenix's, but black with a red tie. He ALWAYS wears a thick golden ring, adorned with a red gem in the shape of a Magatama, on his left index finger.
Personality: Calm and collected, even in crisis-point situations. Loves sarcasm, puns, and the like. Skilled at concealing his emotions, though he does love to gloat.
Further Notes: The gem on his ring is spiritually charged and functions exactly like the Magatama given to Wright by Maya. Who gave it to him, though, is unknown.
History: Phoenix Wright's apprentice, a hotshot defense attorney. First met Phoenix when he was suspect in a murder case two years ago. Phoenix took the case, and cleared Justin's name. He currently works at the Wright & Co. Law Offices and is good friends with Maya and Pearl Fey, even though it sometimes seems otherwise. Little is known about his past before the murder charge, and he doesn't like talking about it either.

Story Name
Case 1: Rise of a Turnabout
Rating
E for Everyone
Genre
Court Case
Main Characters
:phoenix: , :maya: , :payne: , :eh?: , Justin Laws (Male OC, Defense Lawyer)
Pairings
Incedibly slight, implied :phoenix: / :maya:
Complete?
Of course not! I'm only just getting started!

Phoenix never disbarred AU. Set 2 years after the end of PW3.

The first trial for Phoenix Wright's protegee, the new defense attorney Justin Laws.
An old friend of Phoenix's is suspected of murder, and Justin is the only one who can prove his innocence.

Spoiler: Chapter 1: Before Trial - Lovely Couple
Note: This chapter from Justin's point of view.

(So finally, my first trial. What's that? Am I scared? Me? Of course not. ...Well, maybe a little. But that's hardly surprising. My first case, and it's a murder...)

April 12, 9:36 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No.2


"Nice outfit!" I was unceremoniously dragged from my thoughts by a loud voice coming from behind me. I spun around to see Maya Fey standing there, grinning. For a second, I thought, 'What's so wrong with a black suit?' , but I didn't tell Maya that. Instead I smirked, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Well, you aren't exactly the pinnacle of style yourself." Maya staggered back, indicating that I had hit a sore point. "You know, that haircut looks terrible on you.", she said meanly. (She... insulted my hair. Now she's crossed the line.) I was about to tackle her when a voice rang across the lobby saying, "Quit fighting!"

At that point, Phoenix Wright stepped between Maya and I and shoved us apart.
"Did you really have to do that?", he asked me. "Well... not really... but SHE started it!" Phoenix sighed. "Come on, Justin, even I'm not that juvenile. Get over it!" "Yes, Mr. Wright...", I replied sullenly, remembering that he was my boss and could fire me if I pushed too far. However, he reacted by folding his arms and glaring at me. (What? Did I say something?) "..." But then, something strange happened. He started chuckling. (I will never understand him.) He said to me, "You know, Justin, I've told you a thousand times, call me Phoenix." And then he started laughing again.

I glanced at him, then at Maya looking at him, seemingly confused, no doubt thinking, 'What the heck is so funny?', and I couldn't resist one more crack at them before I reverted to all-business mode. "Ahem. Can I tell you both something?", I said loudly enough to grab their attention. "You two make a lovely couple, you know that?", I said, and laughed. Maya and Phoenix, on the other hand, both screamed "WHAAAAAAAAT?!" at the exact same time, prompting the bailiff to come over to us and ask if something was wrong. After assuring him that nothing illegal had happened, Maya glared at me and yelled, "Th-That's not even funny, Justin!" Phoenix seemed to agree, saying to me, "Why don't you focus on the case instead? ...Speaking of which, our client seems to have arrived." I turned around to see a familiar figure standing at the door.

"Hey! I've been waiting, pal!"


Chapter 2 is here! It's longer than the first one. Gumshoe is somewhat out of character, though.

Spoiler: Chapter 2: Before Trial - I Ain't Your Pal!
Note: Justin's POV again.

Before we go any further in this story I should tell you who I am first. My name is Justin Laws. I am a 22-year-old defense attorney, apprentice to the legendary Phoenix Wright. It's an honor, really. And it all started with that case two years ago...
...But enough about that.

Today I am taking my first real case and it's simple enough. Film star Adam Evans was found dead in the Global Studios parking lot. He was killed from a gunshot to the temple at point-blank range. The defendant is one Dick Gumshoe, a detective at the local precinct. Completely hopeless at his job, but a very likable character. Plus, he's a friend of Mr. Wright's. That alone is enough to prove his innocence, as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, the courts aren't as accommodating. So now I've got to prove that he's not guilty. Shouldn't be a problem. I think.

April 12, 9:53 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No.2


"Hey! I've been waiting, pal!"

Detective Gumshoe stepped through the door to the lobby and walked up to Phoenix. I crossed my arms and asked him, "You've been waiting, Detective? We've been here for a quarter of an hour and you only just arrived." He looked at me, then scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Well, that's the thing, pal... I kinda got confused and was waiting in the other lobby." (Ah, brilliant. Detective Clueless strikes. Why am I not surprised?) Outwardly, I forced a smile and said, "Let's just focus on the case, shall we?"

Gumshoe looked at me and then at Phoenix."Why don't you take my case anyway, pal? I'd feel much more comfortable than with this... rookie!", he yelled angrily, gesturing at me. I felt myself getting mad, but suppressed it before I did something I'd probably regret. Phoenix smiled and told Gumshoe, "He might surprise you. Besides, I'll be right next to him the entire time, so if - no, when - he screws up I can just save it for him." I gave Phoenix one of my best death glares. "Ha ha, I'm just joking. I'm sure it'll go fine. Besides, you seem strangely confident considering it's your first trial."
I gave him a pointed look. "And why wouldn't I be confident? I know my client is innocent and I know I can prove it. There's nothing to be nervous about." I grinned. "Besides, Payne is prosecuting today. Need I say more?" He looked confused for a second before realising what I was saying and laughing. "Ha, yeah. He's hopeless. And he calls himself the 'Rookie Killer'?"
Gumshoe looked sulky. "Well, you still didn't answer my question, pal. Why does the newbie lawyer have to defend me?" I rolled my eyes. "Well, I would guess Phoenix didn't want you to know this, but he said some rather rude things about the Judge's beard and now he's not allowed to defend. Go figure." Maya looked shocked. "Nick, you didn't!" Phoenix glared at me. "There's a reason I asked you to keep that to yourself...", he told me through gritted teeth.
I smirked and rolled my eyes again before deciding to focus on the case at hand. I looked Detective Gumshoe straight in the eyes and said, "Well, let me ask you just one question." "Huh? What's that, pal?" "Did you murder Adam Evans?" "WHAAAT?! I would never!" "It's a yes or no question, Detective." Gumshoe took a moment to calm down, then told me slowly, "I did not kill anyone."
...
"Very well then. I believe you." The detective's face lit up and he was obviously about to start babbling when the bailiff called out that it was time for the trial to start. Maya whispered, "Good luck." in my ear. I gathered my thoughts, turned around, and stepped into the courtroom.




Image
Mega Man Star Force: Ace Attorney - Crossover win of epic proportions
Don't take me too seriously, I have a weird sense of humor and am often being sarcastic
Don't fight fire with fire, water is far more effective.


Last edited by Justin Laws on Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:43 am, edited 5 times in total.
Re: Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; somebody please actually read itTopic%20Title
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Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:20 pm

Posts: 1109

Nice fic ! Quite short (but that's only the beginning), but really nice nevertheless ! (And since I'm a staunch advocate of the Phoenix x Maya pairing, you've got my vote ! Vote for what ? Who care for what ? xD)
According to what I've read... I got it that Gumshoe will be Justin's first client, won't he ? (That's what the 'I've been waiting for you pal!' at the end seems to suggest. Yeah, every time I come accross 'pal', I immediately think of Gumshoe xD) But I think I'm probably wrong... ^^"
I can't say too many things on it (yet), but I hope you will post the next part soon enough :edgy:

Keep on the good work, I'm looking forward to reading the next part :garyuu:
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Re: Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; somebody please actually read itTopic%20Title
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~~

Gender: Female

Location: At my computer

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:03 am

Posts: 883

That was really good for a newcomer! If you need examples of fine writing, check out this entire forum. Not that I'm saying that yours isn't, because it is. It just is rather short, but that's to be expected from the first chapter. Even mine was like that in the first chapter, and I still got comments, like you. Sometimes you have to wait patiently for the comments, like I am waiting for people to comment on Chapter 5 of my own fanfiction. I'm a writer myself, by the way. When it's finished, it can be published.
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♥Twatanorm♥
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Re: Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; somebody please actually read itTopic%20Title
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Gender: Female

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:28 pm

Posts: 150

well done, this is good so far! short but sweet! so what is justin's hair actually like? he just HAS to have wacky hair, it's like a defense attorney dress code! keep up the good work!
xxx
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Re: Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; somebody please actually read itTopic%20Title
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Miles Kirbworth

Gender: None specified

Location: Marvelling at his miraculous ability to make people hate him whenever he opens his mouth

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:00 am

Posts: 549

Thanks for the positive feedback!
Yes, Gumshoe IS the client, obviously.
As for Justin's hair, it's short, bristly, and blond. Kinda like Brushel's but actually over his entire head. Honestly, it's quite normal when you think about it... Oh my GOD, he broke every rule of this universe. :beef:
But anyway, thanks again. These comments do wonders for my confidence! :butzthumbs:

PS: I gave it that subtitle (;somebody please actually read it') 'cause I didn't know stories had to be approved and was wondering why nobody had even looked at it. :payne:
Image
Mega Man Star Force: Ace Attorney - Crossover win of epic proportions
Don't take me too seriously, I have a weird sense of humor and am often being sarcastic
Don't fight fire with fire, water is far more effective.
Re: Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; my first story. Chapter 2. Now.Topic%20Title
User avatar

~~

Gender: Female

Location: At my computer

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:03 am

Posts: 883

I read the second chapter and I think you did a very good job, Justin. I know how you feel when I get comments, it makes you feel like you can just type it all up there and then. Congratulations on yet another great chapter.
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♥Twatanorm♥
Signature by blinq
Re: Justin Laws: Ace Attorney; my first story. Chapter 2. Now.Topic%20Title
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Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:20 pm

Posts: 1109

Nice second chapter ! (Even though I believe you could have made a single chapter instead of 2 separate ones ^^)
I don't find Gumshoes OOC at all. In fact, I could even picture him 'scratching the back of his neck' and looking angry ! Nicely done :eh?:
You really did a goob job with this chapter 2, which I liked a lot (even though I'm not totally satisfied with Justin's character, but well, I can't possibly like all the characters, can I ? I still find him intriguing, and I'm looking forward to read what happened 2 years ago... :p This 'xx years ago' is not the most original idea ever for a fic, but I still kinda like it, since it's always one of the best way to add more mystery to one's plot ! :D)

Keep on the good work ! ^^
(And I hope the third chapter will also be slightly longer than the 2nd one... :adrian: )
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