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Quebecois (Franziska/Miles) [PLEASE READ!!]Topic%20Title

Gender: Male

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:52 am

Posts: 603

This story was originally on fanfiction.net.
Franzy and Miles are getting married in Miami. All the AA chars are invited. What will happen?
Multi chapters.

Québécois (Franziska's Terror)

By Pearl the Barrister

Miles Edgeworth sighed. He felt like hitting his head on the cheap plastic tray in front of him. Edgeworth was sitting in a cheap discount first class seat 8E in a cheap discount airliner owned by a cheap discount airline.

Now, he could have been flying in World Traveler class on Pan Am (an airline that had been defunct for over 30 years or so) if he wanted. But, he couldn’t, thanks to Franziska’s GRAND idea.

Edgeworth and Franziska were getting married in Miami in three days. That was the easy part. But then, Franziska had decided to invite EVERYONE they knew- even the dead ones and the ones in prison (that had been a slight problem). She had even offered to pay for everyone to get there.

He had nearly fainted when he heard that. Franziska was not known for her generosity, but rather for her whip.

And so, he had had to find the cheapest airline possible for 125 people and 5 animals. The cheapest airline was called Quick-Air and sold first class tickets for 20 round-trip from LAX to Miami and back. He had done the math and figured out that with 20 tickets for 20, and 105 tickets for 10, along with other costs, they would be paying 2,041.30 for transportation alone, not including the actual wedding (about 10k). Edgeworth looked sadly at his pocketbook stuffed with too many receipts and not enough money.

But he had other things to worry about. Like the fact that someone was kicking the back of his chair.

Aggravated, he turned around and saw Maya kicking the plastic tray. A hamburger was stuck in one of the thick plastic bolts. “STUPID TRAY! YOU ATE MY BURGER!”

Edgeworth sighed again. “Maya, will you please stop KICKING THE BACK OF MY SEAT!”

Maya, who was trying unsuccessfully to use her teeth to get the burger unstuck from the tray, looked up innocently. “OK, Mr. Edgeworth.”

Sighing for at least the 100th time in that hour, Edgeworth settled back into his seat, in what had to be the only row with extra seats in the whole plane.

“Attention, passengers,” rang out a voice, “we will be stopping in Las Vegas shortly for about ten or fifteen minutes or so.”

After that it was quiet for about six or seven seconds. Then, suddenly, a cry came from about a two rows in front of Edgeworth.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" screamed Prosecutor Godot to a flight attendant. "YOU PUT MILK into my coffee!"

The flight attendant ignored him and walked off. Edgeworth sighed again.

IN THIRD CLASS:

Meanwhile, in seat 45Z, Franziska von Karma, soon to be Franziska Edgeworth, sighed. If the conditions were bad in first class, they were certainly worse than abysmal in the very back of third class.

The seats were at least 2 times smaller than the tiny ones in first class, and they had tried to fit seven seats into one row on a narrow-body airliner. Meaning that they had no aisles except for one tiny one at the end. Franziska figured it would take them 30 minutes just to get off the plane.

And to make matters even worse for her, Franziska was wedged in the sixth seat in the row, right next to Plum Kitaki (in seat 45AA) and Marvin Grossberg (in seat 45Y). This basically meant she couldn't move for six hours.

But she could whip people. She had whipped Plum 42 times, Grossberg 81 times, Adrian Andrews (in seat 44Y) 10 times, and Matt Engarde (in seat 44Z) 30 times.

She channeled her anger into her whip one more time and whipped Grossberg for the 82nd time.

"Oh my stars! The days of my youth flash before my eyes, the scent of fresh lemon..." Grossberg dozed back off to sleep after being startled awake.

Finally, the plane landed in Las Vegas. Of course, they couldn't actually get out, but it calmed Franziska's nausea for a few minutes or so. At 3:00 PM they took off again, bound for Miami.

IN FIRST CLASS:

Edgeworth, who had dozed off, was startled awake by something very large and very heavy falling onto him.
~
What do you think?

EDIT: Chapter two. This is my least favorite. Slight edits.

Location: Seat 8E
“AAUGH!” he screamed. A black-and-green striped suitcase had fallen out of the half-broken overhead basket (yes, I said BASKET!).
Then he noticed everyone was looking at him. "Uh, sorry..." he murmured.
Hoping to find something to ease the intense pain, he pressed the "call flight attendant" button. It didn't work. Finally he figured out it was broken.
"Ugh..." he groaned.
After sitting in pain for a few minutes, he stood up and headed back towards one of the latrines. Unfortunately, just as he was standing up, someone pulled on their overhead basket to take something out, and it broke, falling onto Edgeworth's head.
Edgeworth screamed again.
"Oops," came a familiar voice. "Sorry."
Edgeworth turned around to face Phoenix Wright, who was sheepishly holding the handle of the broken basket.
"Don't worry about it," he said gruffly, turning around and heading towards the lavatories.
"Mr. Edgeworth does seem grumpy today, doesn't he, Nick?" Maya inquired of Phoenix as they picked up their luggage that had once resided in the broken basket.
"I wouldn't blame him," replied Phoenix.
Location: Seat 45Z
Franziska von Karma whipped Dee Vasquez (in seat 45Q) for at least the tenth time in that hour. "FOOLISH FOOL!! DO NOT SOIL MY LUGGAGE WITH YOUR TOBACCO!!"
Franziska had gone whip mad in the past few minutes. Anyone who as much as blinked felt her wrath.
"Oh, my hemorrhoids..." complained Marvin Grossberg, who had been whipped over 300 times that day.
"Fool!" screamed Franziska, whipping him.
Adrian Andrews (seat 44Y) turned around in her seat. "Franziska, don't you think you're going a little overboard?"
"Nonsense!" she barked. "Foolish fools don't know how to act and must be whipped!"
Adrian sighed.
Location: Seat 7E
Phoenix Wright leaned back in his uncomfortably stiff chair. "Aah, this is the life," he thought sarcastically.
He reached forward to grab some flashy magazine in the pocket of the seat in front of him.
Sitting back in the (cardboard) chair, he looked around him. Maya was gorging herself on plasticine-looking mini-burgers, Edgeworth was reading something (unaware that his half-broken overhead basket was dangerously close to falling on his head), and Moe the clown had been knocked out by Regina's tiger for telling too many abysmal jokes.
Phoenix was in an uncomfortable position, although he didn't know it. Vera Misham (in seat 7F) and Neil Marshall (in seat 7D) were shooting each other murderous glances (something having to do with pinecones and glaciers, I think), and Phoenix was sitting between both of them.
It was about 7:56 PM when the dinner cart came around. "Hello," said the flight attendant cheerfully. "What would you like? "
"I'll have one chili, please," replied Phoenix, "and a ham sandwich."
"I'll have the same," Vera muttered under gritted teeth.

"Same here," replied Neil, under equally gritted teeth.
"BURGERS WITH MUSTARD FOR ME!" screamed Maya from a row-and-a-half behind.
Moe was still knocked out.
"Hmm? Oh, yes, I'll have the Jell-O," said Edgeworth.
"OK, that'll be a nervous pudding, Noah's boy on bread with a hot one, give it legs and make it walk," said the flight attendant.
Everyone stared at her.
"What about my burger?" asked Maya, who seemed to know diner talk.
"OK, add a wimpy and slap some Mississippi mud on it."
The food was served and paid for (with record low prices) in due time.
Everyone except Maya took one glance at the food and dumped it into a bag. Only Maya could actually EAT it.

Chapter 3- Preparations and Exclamations
Location: Seat 45Z
Franziska von Karma sat upright in her straight-backed seat. This was probably the most ANNOYING thing she had ever had to do. Ever. In her life.
The plane had been delayed by having to land in Kansas City, Jackson, and Tallahassee, meaning that it was now well past midnight when they were finally about to land in Miami.
"Attention, the seat-belt sign has been turned on. Please return to your seats and 'buckle up.' We will be landing in Miami shortly."
Suddenly overcome with a surge of anger, Franziska channeled it into her whip and cracked it at the small piece of wood stuck in the ceiling where a basket had once been. It fell out and fell right into her luggage, splitting the zipper.
"AAUIGH!" she yelled, waking up everyone within a good fifteen or so rows.
Location: Seat 12D
Pearl Fey was startled awake by a loud scream. "What was that?"
Location: Cockpit
The pilot veered the nose of the plane down and prepared to land the plane.
Some time later... Location: The Viance Hotel, Miami, Florida
At about 4.00 AM, everyone finally arrived at a hotel where the wedding would be held (Edgeworth was glad they didn't have to pay for everyone to actually STAY at the hotel). Most everyone was staying there, except for a few people who were staying at a motel down the street.
The Bellboy volunteered to carry April May's (immense amount of) luggage, and there was a small amount of other hotel staff who helped with luggage, but other than that, everyone had to either carry their luggage up 12 flights of stairs (The International Cardboard Box Convention was in town, and they booked up most of the first 11 floors. The 13th floor was the penthouse, so there was only one block of seats on the 12th floor available) or try to get on the way-too-small service elevator or record slowest elevator known in the universe. Mike Meekins actually tried to fit in the kitchen's dumbwaiter, with amusing results.
Of course, by the time all 130 guests arrived and settled in to their rooms, it was about 5:40 and almost time for wedding preparations to begin.
Some time later... Location: The Viance Ballroom, Miami, FL
Nervously, Miles Edgeworth glanced around the large ballroom. All around the room, (expensive) preparations for the Edgeworth/von Karma wedding were taking place. They had decided that they would hold the wedding at the same place in the hotel, as it would cut down tremendously on costs (the prices had already exceeded 12,000 for the wedding alone). So, the caterers were setting up in the back while the seats were set up in the front.
"Excuse me, Mr. Edgeworth?" someone asked from behind him.
Turning around, Edgeworth saw Arlene Selztier, the wedding budget consultant Franziska had hired (for 16 per hour).
"Yes, Ms. Selztier?"
"Um, there's a problem with the catering. You ordered a lot of chicken, right?"
"Ye-es..."
"Well, they mixed your order with another, and instead you got..."
She moved out of the way to reveal several steaming woks filled with octopus.
"WHAT. IS. THAT," Edgeworth sputtered.
"They thought you ordered seven woks of octopus."
Edgeworth was THIS close to hitting someone on the head.
Location: Room 12AA Suite
Franziska von Karma was getting dressed for her wedding. She was wearing a long white dress with a short green veil.
"THIS IS MADNESS!!" she screamed. And for once, she was right.
Several people were running around the suite, trying to find "just what you need," or something like that.
Angel Starr returned with a cake of pungent puce-colored soap and the "Moss Special," April May insisted that a bar of "Hot Stuf Deoderizer" was key to a successful wedding ceremony, Ini Miney kept trying to convince Franziska that a green dough cap similar to her own was 'better than a plain old veil', and Manfred von Karma (accompanied by a federal agent) ran around bossing everyone and screaming, "THIS WEDDING MUST BE PERFECTLY PERFECT!!"
It was going to be a very long day.

Chapter Four- C B F A G F D C Wedding March Music
A rather mournful wedding march was played on flute and baritone as the guests chatted animatedly in their seats.

Miles Edgeworth stood up close to the altar, fidgeting nervously with his cravat.

"Ugh..." he moaned. Dozens of 'what if's' flew through his head.

What if Franziska decides to run off with the Bellboy?

What if a comet hits the hotel?

What if someone has a heart attack in the middle of the wedding?

"Calm down, Edgeworth," said Phoenix, "you look like you're going to faint."

At the word 'faint', Edgeworth turned pale.

There were 3 bridesmaids (Maya, Pearl, and Franziska's sister Adelaide), who were sitting in the corner, wearing rather ugly brown dresses.

"Is it just me," Maya commented aloud, "or does Mr. Edgeworth seem rather nervous?"

"Mr. Eh-ji-werth..." Pearl sounded out, still somewhat unsure just what was going on (yet she was CERTAIN it had something to do with 'special someones').

"But of course," replied Adelaide haughtily. "He is SO paranoid."

Maya rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, the doors burst open. It was Franziska, Manfred, and the FBI agent!

Loud gasps came from all around the room. It was clear that some people (coughcoughAdelaidecoughcough) had not expected Franziska to actually show up.

Gracefully, Franziska marched up to the altar.

With an over-the-top clearing of the throat, the priest began. A few minutes later, the crux of the matter came. "Miles Edgeworth, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse...(etc)...?"

After a few seconds' pause (garnering an eye-roll from Adelaide), Edgeworth replied confidently, "I do."

"And do you, Franziska A. von Karma, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband...(etc)...?"

"I do," she replied, with a ringing finality in her voice.

"I now pronounce..."

The last part of the sentence was drowned out by (VERY) loud clapping as Franziska and Miles kissed.

Chapter Five- Reception of the Reception
Franziska von Karma--no, Franziska Edgeworth-- was pissed. P. I. S. S. E. D.

She had been floating along in a wave of ecstasy- until she had reached the back of the huge hotel ballroom twenty minutes later...

"FOOLISH--FOOLISH--FOOL--WHAT--IS--THIS!?!?" she screamed at one of the caterers when she saw what they had set up as the main dish. If she had had her whip (Edgeworth had made her leave it in the hotel room), the caterer would have been cowering on the floor in fear.

Not that he wasn't already. "Well, Ms. von-er, Mrs. Edgeworth--the main office kind of sent octopus instead of chicken--

"GET! IT! FIXED!!!!" she screamed. Instinctively, Franziska raised her hand as if to whip him and whipped the air with a non-extant whip.

He ran out of the room faster than even Franziska could catch up.

She was hyperventilating with fury until Edgeworth caught up to her. "Don't worry, Franziska, we'll straighten it out..." Franziska instantly calmed.

The other guests had not noticed Franziska's hissy fit, as they were used to watching her blow her top several times a day. They were chatting amongst themselves, patiently and politely bored.

"What IS taking them?" huffed Adelaide Wexler impatiently. She was even harder to please than her sister, but luckily she had not inherited her father's temper (but her sister had).

"I suppose they might've been late..." considered Adrian Andrews. Some of her businesslike manner from the days of JFA* was showing thru. Adrian did not like tardiness. Especially in businesses. She had prided herself on her extreme punctuality-

But no, that was all behind her. She pulled Matt along behind her and strolled over to where Franziska and Edgeworth stood.

"Congratulations, Franziska!" she chirped.

"Much thanks, Adrian," said Franziska distractedly. She was staring over at the catering table, where they were replacing all but one of the woks with bowls of Chicken McNuggets and salami--all they could get on such short notice.

Adrian sighed. Leave it to Franzy to be distracted at her own wedding. She dragged Matt across the room again ("Ow!") to go mingle with some of the other guests.

Finally, after a 30-minute delay, the McNuggets and sides (including the octopi) were prepared, and the 100+ guests hungrily dug in.

After nibbling on a few McNuggets and a slice of salami anxiously, Franziska walked around the room greeting the guests, Edgeworth on her arm.

"Why, I'm honoured that you chose to grace our presence today, Ms. May...of course, Ms. Holland...hello, Adrian...many regards, Ms. Hale..."

Franziska was--what a funny word--happy. Her wedding had not been perfect--there had been a few delays and flaws--but she had achieved what she had come here for: to get married to Miles.

And so she was happy.

At least until she saw Larry parading around the room wearing the salami that she had ordered.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
PEARL DIES TONIGHT


Last edited by Pearl the Barrister on Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:35 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Quebecois (Franziska/Miles)Topic%20Title
User avatar

REALITY TV WILL RUIN YOU- DON'T WATCH IT

Gender: Female

Location: Shreveport, LA

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:09 am

Posts: 18

This is...interesting. :D
Image
Oh, the fucking irony...*sighs*
~~~
Re: Quebecois (Franziska/Miles) [PLEASE READ!!]Topic%20Title

Gender: Male

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:52 am

Posts: 603

Apparently you're the only one that thinks so, I_S_T_L. :sadshoe:
PEARL DIES TONIGHT
Re: Quebecois (Franziska/Miles) [PLEASE READ!!]Topic%20Title
User avatar

Gender: Female

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:28 pm

Posts: 150

this is brilliant! i love it ! XD
its so cool that all the characters got together for the wedding :franny: :edgy:
and poor franny had to sit with plum and grossberg on the plane... lolz!!
:pearl: xxx
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