This is a dumping ground for the many PW challenge fictions that will soon be birthed thanks mostly to my good friend Jenna's ( Jenna Darknight here) poking! Thanks for taking the time to read the (often times really weird...) pieces of writing I have to offer! Thank you, thank you! Let's get the ball rolling then!


Title: <Insert Witty Title Here>
Author: Loloki
Rating:PG
Genre:Romance/Comedy
Status: One shot
Pairing: Hammer x Oldbag
Summary: Write a Jack Hammer x Wendy Oldbag fic involving pudding and a “Singing Samurai” poster. Thanks Jenna for the challenge!
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Wendy Oldbag was nervous. Despite her age (its none of your business) and her occupation (a “well known and respected member of the security staff, thank you very much”) she could feel the gray hairs on the back of her neck prickle as she approached the studio, but not from fear. She was asked to take a box of binders to the trailer in Studio 2 for some meeting or another, and even as she approached the stairs that led to the trailer’s door, she tried to calm herself. Inside of that trailer once sat her idol, Jack Hammer (the best actor in the world, ever, forever). In fact, it was very possible that the very meeting for which she was helping to prepare would be one that Mr. Hammer himself would be attending.

She sighed to herself dreamily as she walked inside, giving an almost youthful giggle as she saw all of the posters on the trailer walls. There were so many of Jack! Walking to one rather large, colorful “Singing Samurai” poster, Oldbag could not longer resist as she actually hugged the poster. She spent so much time protecting the studio grounds that it was nice to get away for a while and just remember why she had been so excited about working at Global Studios to begin with: to get to see Jack Hammer!

Wendy was lost in her own delusions and dreams and did not notice the trailer door opening and closing. She was also blissfully unaware as footsteps approached her, or when someone cleared their throat behind her. In fact, Oldbag did not notice a single thing until a large hand touched her bony shoulder. She jumped and spun around instinctively kicking forward. “That’s what you get for sneaking up on me you…you…yy-y-y-YOU!” she stuttered off, feeling as if she had been the one hit in the chest. The figure staggering back from her, trying to catch his breath from the sudden kick was none other than her idol, Jack Hammer!

She walked to him, hovering too nervous to get too near him. “Ah! Ah! Chair! That’s it, here, M-m-mr. Hammer! Sir Hammer! Lord Hammer!” she spewed out, seeming to talk none stop.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hammer eventually said, reaching out to put another hand on her shoulder, flashing her a smile, “I’m used to it. I am the Evil Magistrate after all! Powers is always kicking my butt during rehearsal!” He was trying to be friendly to the older women whom he had always seen work hard, but his words were lost on her. She had stopped listening after she felt his hand on her for a second time. At the end of his comment, her eyes were already rolled into the back of her head. Wendy Oldbag was soon crumpled against Jack Hammer. He held her up for a moment, surprised before he laughed softly to himself, picking her up gently.

When Wendy Oldbag finally woke up, she was in the security station of Global Studios, resting on a small cot in there. She groaned lightly, sitting up, rubbing at her head. ‘I must have dozed off…’ she thought to herself, trying to remember what had happened. Her blood froze (in a good way of course) when she took a good long look around the security station.

On the counter, there was a bowl of vanilla pudding: Jack Hammers favorite dessert to have after a meal of T-bone stake. Beside the bowl, there was a letter. As she leaned against the counter, her heart fluttered as she read the hand-written note.

“Dear Wendy-
Sorry about earlier!! I guess you must have not been feeling well because you fainted on me. I brought you back to the station so you could rest up. Some sugar might help, so I have left you a bowl of my favorite kind of pudding: vanilla. You are such a hard worker and I’m thrilled to have you around, so please, don’t work yourself so hard! Get some rest!
-Jack Hammer”

Oldbag read through the letter more times than she could count. When she was done, having memorized each curve and edge of each letter, she tucked the letter away in her shirt pocket, over he beating heart. Leaning against the station counter, she put a spoonful of pudding in her mouth, humming happily to herself. Wendy Oldbag had found a new favorite dessert.

w00t, first comment. I liked what you did with an otherwise crazy challenge. Can't wait to see what you do with the next one, my friend. XD

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This next one was a lot of fun to write, though it was a lot harder than the last one ( I dislike Franny). Jenna hates me so she's been giving me crap challenges, lol I still love you, Jenna!

Title: Lady Hell
Author: Loloki
Rating:PG
Genre:Comedy
Status: One shot
Pairing: Franziska x Gumshoe
Summary: Write a Franziska/Gumshoe, involving a dog bowl and a tennis ball!




Poor, poor Detective Dick Gumshoe. Try as he might, he had the worst luck in the world.

It all started with a seemingly un-intimidating young prosecutor: one Mister Miles Edgeworth. He had walked into the police department with frills, lace and “manly” pink. Detective Gumshoe thought he was getting a pansy prosecutor. What he got was a draconian dictator, complete with iron fist and ironic complete lack of any kind of feministic compassion. Miles Edgeworth was Gumshoe’s daily torturer. By the end of the work week, as was a department joke, it was surprising that Gumshoe was not paying the department to be allowed to keep working as a detective.

Eventually, Stockholm syndrome setting in, Gumshoe developed a sort of affection for his brooding prosecutor, and the young man, at times begrudgingly, returned the feelings. Returned the feelings before suddenly disappearing.

Gumshoe had been happy and sad at the same time when news reached him that Edgeworth had vanished. He was relieved as he saw his work load lessening and his pay check finally being able to once again support a full grown human being, and yet…

And yet, Gumshoe felt a heavy weight on his chest whenever he thought of Miles Edgeworth, sometimes staying up all night, worried sick.

Gumshoe was finally settling into the pace of his uneventful life, actually able to avoid Mr. Wright for quite a few months, when news reached him (finally) that a new prosecutor was joining the department. He then found out that while this prosecutor was new to the country, she was not new at all. In fact, she was the daughter of the man who raised Miles Edgeworth. Her name was Franziska von Karma.

When he walked into her office, planning to introduce himself, he was hopping to find someone who was nicer to get along with than Miles had been. He thought, being a woman, this new von Karma would be more in tune with the feelings of others.

While it was true Franziska was, indeed, a woman, she was first and foremost a von Karma. Manfred von Karma obviously had some devil in him, Gumshoe thought, otherwise, how could such sweet children like Miles Edgeworth and Franziska turn into… into…into such von Karmas!

He had been sitting in her office for nearly an hour before the door slammed open. Before Gumshoe had even a moment to stand at attention, a thick whip lashed out, slamming against his face hard enough to send him to the ground, his head spinning. Groaning, he tried to get up off of his stomach before being slammed back down, a strong leg keeping his back pinned to the ground. Looking up, his eyes widened as he saw the blue haired demon that had him pinned, tightening a whip in her hand. “Detective… you are early. Only foolish fools dare to fool heartedly fool with me by foolishly staying in my room. You fool.”

Gumshoe wanted to cry.

Over the next week, Gumshoe dreaded having anything to do with Franziska von Karma. She sent a shiver of fear and terror into his heart. In fact, on that particular day, he stood outside of her office for a good half hour before knocking, stepping inside. He was just about to greet her when a tennis ball came whizzing at his head. He cried out, jumping away.

Franziska was laughing at Gumshoe from her spot on her desk, where she sat with her long legs crossed and whip in hand. “See? You are not a completely useless fool! Now, give me the tennis ball,” She said, holding out her hand.

Gumshoe was so confused at the moment that he complied with her command without even thinking, handing the fuzzy tennis ball to the blue haired women. She laughed, reaching out to pet the top of his head. “Good boy!” she announced happily.

That confused Gumshoe even more. “What…is this all about, pal? Er…sir?”

At the question, Franziska wore a wicked grin across her lips. Hopping off her desk, she circled Gumshoe like a hungry jackal. “Now, now, Detective…you sound almost like you do not trust me…tsk tsk tsk. Look, I even bought a present for you!’ she said, reaching out to put something around Gumshoe’s neck. It was steel and it clanged.

“What…?” Gumshoe blinked, tugging at the metal collar around his neck. There was a bone-shaped-charm that hung from the doggy collar around his neck. The name: Fool.

Franziska laughed, howling, reaching into her desk to pull out a dog dish, and setting it near Gumshoe. “Detective… do you know what this is?” She asked, pulling out an envelope, holding it up teasingly to Gumshoe’s face, just out his reach.

Gumshoe’s eyes widened as his heart sank. “That’s…my…my…”

“That is right, Detective. Your Christmas bonus! I was going to give it to you…in its entirety…but then… you failed to bring me the evidence I wanted to see. That is not how we do things around my office Detective. When you leave, you will find out that your paycheck has been so crippled that your Christmas “bonus” is not worth the paper it is printed on. But do not fear, Detective. I am your friend. I want you to have a nice meal on Christmas… so, here,” she said, beginning to rip up the enveloped check, tossing it into the dog dish, adding the remainder of her coffee. She laughed, seeing tears prickle in Gumshoe’s eyes. “Now, please, have a nice holiday weekend, pet. Enjoy your meal. Try not to fail me the next time I send you out on a mission. You would not like me when I am truly upset. I assure you. Good evening,” She said, chuckling as she gave a few cracks of her whip, watching Gumshoe cower, before walking out of her office.

Gumshoe looked down at dog dish as he sank to the floor, crying. He had wanted real food on Christmas so much he could almost taste the processed meat and cheese. It had almost been his! He had a lot of qualms when it came to Edgeworth, but, all in all, the man had been generous with Gumshoe, his threats more times than not went unfulfilled.

Gumshoe covered up his face as he sobbed unashamedly. “Save me, Mr. Edgeworth! Come back!”