I wasn't myself. I never was. I only look back now to see that it was true. Why did it take forever, I wonder, to regain my true sense?

I sit here in the solitude, curling my fingers against the armrest of my chair; I have plenty of time to wonder, to ponder, and to plot. And guess what? I plotted a lot when I first got here. I also sat in suspense, wondering if my true intentions would ever become known.

Who was I to hope? I wasn't myself, even then. And of course those intentions of mine would be discovered. I laugh now, bitterly.

Why did I plan all this again? I wanted revenge. Against two that stopped me from rising. Was it really all because of a simple card game? Even now, I still don't understand. Do you?

I was taken a hold right before that case. The devil seemed to whisper to me, 'This is the chance, take it!' Even now, he is still here, in this scar, in this hand. I'll never be able to forget it.

Why do you sit here? Does it pleasure you to watch me try and clean up the messes you left behind?

You lived in that life, as I watched from a cage… the cage of my mind. And even now, when I'm free from those mental bars, I'm still in a cage, imprisoned. I'm freed in a jail. It's ironic, isn't it?

You laugh at me, and so do I. I mock myself, and so do you.

I wonder now why he looked up to me. He was one of the only people I cared for. Yet, I was slowly being corrupted. Was it because I was able to hide the secrets within? Though now, when I think back, I'm half glad that he is one of the people who now know my true intentions, and my history. At least he knows better not to follow my twisted path.

I thought you have done all you have to do. Stop that smile. I know. How could I not? I know you better than anyone else. Don't keep me in your company anymore; it's just insult to my mental injury. The one you caused.

But wait, before you go. When you finally leave me forever… Could you do one thing for me? Just one?

Remember to leave me with my sanity.
-----

Prompt:You lived your life, as I watched from a cage… the cage of my mind.

I visited him often with Pearly. But every time I saw him, I felt like I was on the verge of tears. I don’t know how I did it, but I was always able to push them back in the end.
…Because, you know, I had to be strong for Pearly.

We often spoke of life at the present, with him drinking his usual cups of blackness.

“The bitterness in this blend is just enough.” He said during one visit, commenting on his coffee.

I had never asked him, I had never felt curious about this before, but today was different I guess… “Mr. Godot, why do you like coffee so much?”

“Because coffee is tasty, and warm!” Pearly commented. I suppose she remembers the time Mr. Godot gave her a cup during that terrible event…
I remember that ever since that event, Pearly has always asked Nick for coffee when it was cold.

“Blacker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than Hell itself... That is coffee.” He said, picking up his mug again. He glanced at my face. “There’s life after death you know.”

The topic we were discussing changed so suddenly.

“Mystic Maya! What is Mr. Godot saying?”

“Aww… Pearly, he’s probably talking about what Mia said.”
---
Our last visit was just a few days before his execution. I couldn’t help but shed tears, even in the presence of Pearly.

“The only time a lawyer can cry is when it's all over.” He said, looking calm as usual.

I sniffed “I’m not a lawyer.”

“I know.”

I sighed; I didn’t know what to say to him. I felt like I should be comforting him or something, but it became the other way around.

“Death row is but a state of mind.” He said casually, as if life was all normal. “I’m sure you know what I mean.”

“Of course… I do…” I had said, still tearing up.

“Then stop crying, look you’re even making the little girl sad.”

“Mystic Mayaaaaa! “ Pearl had started crying. “Why does Mr. Godot have to die?!”

Oh Pearly, I’ve always been strong for you and yet this time, I don’t know what to say…

“Ahh excuse me… visiting hours are almost up.” The guard was saying, cutting through Pearly’s tears.

“Oh… right.” I said to him “We’re almost done here.”

In a moment, I composed a straight face, and tried to comfort Pearl

“Oh Pearly… stop crying, I’ll get Nick to buy us burgers afterwards.”

“B-but Mystic Mayaaaaa! What about Mr. Godot?”

“We could always channel Mia and him, you know, Pearly. We could still communicate…”
I turned to leave, with Pearly still crying beside me.

“You shouldn’t mourn about the past over more than five cups of coffee.” Godot put in. “That’s one of my rules.”

“I guess I should make a rule,” I said while turning around, my façade cracking. “Never shed tears in front of Pearly.”

He looked at me straight in the face, or at least I could feel his intense gaze.

“A lawyer is someone who smiles no matter how bad it gets.”

“I’m not a lawyer.” I said as I was tearing up.

“I know.”
----

Prompt:Death row is a state of mind

It was all you could do, and lest I forget, it was you who helped me through it all. Ja… that’s what happened.

Do you remember that park? That was where we first met, where I first glimpsed your face. It was before all that happened, how could I forget? Sometimes I wish I could go back to then, before it all happened.
…And yet, if I went back, we wouldn’t know each other, we’d be still the strangers without notice.

But perhaps we could go back to after our first trial together, before everything became seriously warped. We knew each other then, but nothing terrible had happened.
…But if I when back to there, we’d only be prosecutor and defense attorney. We wouldn’t have what we have now.

If we stayed here, we’d have all the things together, everything we needed… together.
… And yet, every time I turn around, I can still see his face, the eyes full of hatred, the eyes that branded me a traitor.

It’s been two years since that incident, that trial when I lost my brother. That trial, when I convicted him with your help, I lost it all. I lost my brother, the one I looked up to, the one I admired with all my being, ja?
-----

They say that sometimes we put up walls, not to block people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down…
That was probably what I was doing, behind the closed door of my heart waiting for someone to come, remind me that I still existed, that I still was needed…
Day by day, those walls stretched higher and higher above me and I grew distant. Maybe if I had looked at the big picture sooner, this would never have happened.

But then you came, in the middle of my waiting, you came with open arms, telling me that we were still needed… that together we were still needed.

It turned out, you were always there for me… if only I had to look out at the world outside, and remember my rival was waiting… Perhaps I would have never locked myself away, ja?
---

“Klavier! What are you doing waiting around?!”

“Herr Forehead, I’m trying to figure this out before we go.”

“But come on, it’s going to close at this rate!”

“Forehead, I’m here aren’t I? Isn’t that enough?”

“Of course, but I--”

I smiled, from the very first moment I saw you… maybe it was fate that you would be the one to help me in the end. Ja… wouldn’t you say?
----

Prompt:Sometimes we put up walls, not to block people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.

It was a book, a book reminded him. It was only a book, and yet he couldn’t help but reminisce about long days past.
It arrived in the mail as he sat in his chair, and when he got it, when he opened it, he felt like the memory was just yesterday, and thoughts of all the terrible deeds that had got him to this place vanished.

“Read me a book please?” the younger boy asked. His face was so small, so cute. His eyes were shining. He was clutching a big book, a book of fairytales and fables.

“Of course mein Bruder, always for you.” He received the book his little brother was holding, opening it to the first story.

The story was of a young orphan boy who struggled above the odds to become great, a little fairy helping him along the way. But it all came crashing down on one small thing. The fairy fell in love with him; he couldn’t help her because he had fallen in love with the princess, a beautiful but cruel mistress.
The fairy died in grief, as the princess made the orphan do terrible things and forsake his only friend. When he realized his mistake, his went to the forest, burying the flower petal she left, last token of her love… and friendship.

“He buried his secret in the forest near his house, hoping no one to ever find it.”

His brother was sniffing, little tears running down his face. Of course he would cry, it was a sad story.
“I don’t understand, he was so happy before… why did he let her die?”

He ruffled his brother’s hair, trying to comfort him. “I don’t know either.”

“I don’t understand…” He was still sniffing “She fell in love with him, and she did so many things for him too… why did he let her die?”

As he turned to comfort his brother a little more, he saw a sentence, scrawled in the bottom corner of the page.

‘True happiness may have been behind you the whole time, if only to find it before it disappears.’

He never really understood what that sentence meant, back then after reading that story. He understood it now, when everything was over. He laughed at himself, a mocking laughter. It was too late of course… the chance had already disappeared, gone before anyone knew it. He laughed again, though this time, he felt a tear down his face…
-----

Prompt:He buried his secret in the forest near his house, hoping no one to ever find it.