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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Didn't this thread only have like five pages a little over a year ago? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Well, with how the forums lately has reached 1e6 posts outside of the random chat subforums, I think our community has grown quite a lot. It kinda went into a slump around the time I first joined, and it was some time after GK2 was announced to not be localized, so I've been around to see things slowly build back up to now. This thread has been among one of the more popular ones, for obvious reasons. Speaking of mine in progress, since it's so dang long and I still would like to get through a good deal of it before I may eventually quit, I think I may need to cut out plenty to skip through these chapters. If anyone's been waiting for a punishment sporking, I think this one may be one just right. Leave it to me, guys. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Wasn't it kinda... dead before I started posting in it...? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
It was, back when Pessimistic seemed to be the only one who'd stop by and post an update or something. Little_Thief had a pretty good solo run too when I first came upon this thread in my earliest forum-browsing days. Then, when I introduced you here, things started getting lively. It was around the time when I became inspired to write my own sporkings as well. Funny how things happened and we're now the two most prominent figures in the thread. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
This is really the only thread I post in on this forum, too... |
Author: | luck [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Well, with how the forums lately has reached 1e6 posts outside of the random chat subforums, I think our community has grown quite a lot. It kinda went into a slump around the time I first joined, and it was some time after GK2 was announced to not be localized, so I've been around to see things slowly build back up to now. This thread has been among one of the more popular ones, for obvious reasons. Speaking of mine in progress, since it's so dang long and I still would like to get through a good deal of it before I may eventually quit, I think I may need to cut out plenty to skip through these chapters. If anyone's been waiting for a punishment sporking, I think this one may be one just right. Leave it to me, guys. But a punishment for who? With that fic, it could be anyone XD. It seems DD did wonders for this fandom. I guess it's just natural. A new game in the main series after six years is pretty big. Actually, I had pretty much forgotten about AA when a friend told me about it. And that's basically how I ended up here. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:57 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Please keep in mind that you can spork the really awful fics at any time, you don't need to use them as a punishment for anybody. Sometimes, life is just unfair, especially for our sporkers. ;) Also, I think the reason the thread has grown that much is because there are now so many posts of fic recommendations. I don't think we had so many of those back then. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:02 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Rubia I'd offer to help w/ Hellspawn but I'm still trudging through Turnabout Storm while trying to manage college. Speaking of Turnabout Storm, my latest 3-parter could probably qualify as a Phoenix punishment spork due to what Discord puts him through. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 27, 2015 11:18 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm so glad I brought in Management!Discord. Probably the best idea I've ever had in this thread. Might post a sporking in the next few days. Maybe even as early as later tonight. I just need to pick out a fic. |
Author: | Oliver [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 1:58 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Hmm, a French fic... I was translating fanfiction the other day, although this one is twice as long and looks like it might be better? It's called Miles Edgeworth's Investigations: Royal Turnabout and the summary says, "A recently reunified country is now threatening to split. It's up to prosecutor Miles Edgeworth to stop a new civil war. For this, the investigation must progress quickly and efficiently, but time is so short and the investigation so complex and unpredictable, even for the brilliant prosecutor." Honestly, that sounds pretty good. Although it is interesting that they're calling him Miles Edgeworth instead of Benjamin Hunter, his localized name in France. (That Gavincest(?) French fic a while back did the same thing, actually, with Klavier being called Klavier instead of Konrad.) By this time tomorrow, plus an hour, I'll have examples of my translation work up on one of my Tumblrs, so I'll link them here and then if anyone wants the translation of this fic, I might go for it... I used my "Super Mega Ultra" Google Translate and noticed how cool it sounded, and I love AAI, exactly why I recommended it. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:01 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Eh, I don't think it'd make a good sporking, especially considering how much effort it'd take to translate it... |
Author: | Oliver [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:03 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I've never translated anything so I have no clue how much effort it'd take. I just boot up Google Translate and see a really effed up translation. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:07 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Well, at least, if you're going to Google Translate something, French is a good from-language, since it's similar to English... but yes, even my awful translation skills >>>>>> any automatic translation software. Ever. (Tomorrow I'll post a link to an example of my translation.) |
Author: | Oliver [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:52 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm starting to spork CykesFiction right now. |
Author: | DrOcsid [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:43 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
The author of Phoenix Wright Speed Attorney has "blessed" us with another fanfic... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11473315/1 ... M-attorney God, I hope these two get sporked. |
Author: | Oliver [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 6:33 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
That was a wonderful piece of fiction. *sarcasm deactivate* |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 4:35 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, here's that translation example I promised. It's a two-parter, which is why I had to hold off on posting it. Thoughts, anyone? Worth subjecting a French AA fic to? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:34 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I have little to no knowledge of French, so I can't say if it's the most accurate/suitable translation, but it looks like a fine job and I see no problem with you translating a French AA fic. Honestly, I'm already impressed that you went through all that when there are "a lot of misspellings" as you mentioned. That's one of the more annoying issues that translators can face. Although, it does make me curious if there are Japanese (or even Chinese) fics I can find that do have typos and such to play with. I'm just not sure how to search for them. Edit: It's more like I can't decide on what to pick. Then again, Pixiv actually has a rating system. Maybe I could start there... |
Author: | Oliver [ Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:56 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'll try and look for some for you, Rubia. EDIT: I found only one Chinese fic and no Japanese fics on Fanfiction, but this one apparently already has a translation. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10600143/1/Perspective And I found this English fic which seems...interesting... |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sat Aug 29, 2015 7:41 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I won't need a new fic at the moment, since I have a 55-chapter fic on queue, but maybe next time, I could try my hand with a foreign fic as well. Regarding punishment sporkings, I'm not writing mine as one, especially with how many characters I'm currently testing it with. But, it could still become one, especially from the third chapter and on. We'll see how it goes. Wait, who was it again who wanted Ray in it? I could definitely write him in. He'd make a great pair with Kay. In other related news, I've been working on a program I've written in C++ that essentially helps me build sporkings without always needing to hit those BBCode icons. Maybe I could use it some day to help write some of these. I'm still working out some kinks, but so far, it feels like such a nice little convenience. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:38 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Rubia It was me! Spoiler: |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sat Aug 29, 2015 3:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I also wanted Ray! Your C++ program sounds interesting. And I'm always interested in sporking-related programs.... |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Look what I found: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4353197/1/Gantanic If you haven't guessed already, it's a crackfic based off of the movie Titanic. Complete. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
....I haven't read it yet, but why does everyone use Gant in these types of fics if it isn't a main character? Edit: Wait...Gant doesn't seem to appear...Why is the title so misleading? |
Author: | luck [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Of course he appears. He's the protagonist, namely, the boat. People just like to add him to any kind of stories in many different ways, because well...Gant is awesome. And a meme. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 2:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
It's probably best I don't question it... I found this fic and uhh...Ace Attorney Time Tales And then there's this which is just like it sounds. How it Should Have Ended |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:15 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@ob9410 Ace Attorney Time Tales. Wow, the composition of that fanfic. I can't even tell what is supposed to be going on. (Although, it's obviously a troll fic.) |
Author: | Oliver [ Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:24 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
cuteyounggirlplus wrote: @ob9410 Ace Attorney Time Tales. Wow, the composition of that fanfic. I can't even tell what is supposed to be going on. (Although, it's obviously a troll fic.) Clearly, but that's no excuse to have an office explode and Apollo being Maya's bride and... I found another fic... Adventures of the Ace Match Makers And two of those kinds of fics. evr1 420 yolos it And this may be too short, but here's the second one Kristoph Makes Toast |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Mon Aug 31, 2015 11:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
My last sporking before my last year of school starts Wednesday. Might not have much time, but hopefully I'll get the first part of Athena's punishment sporking done before my birthday at the end of the month. Title- Drunkshoe's Adventure Rating- This fic isn't that bad at all. Edgeworth is mostly in character at least; only Franziska and Phoenix are not, which the author uses the "they're drunk!" excuse. There isn't much else to say about the fic besides that. Now, let's meet our sporkers! Miles Edgeworth! "The title of this fic should already make Detective Gumshoe look forward to his next salary hearing." Dick Gumshoe! "B-but sir…" and Kay Faraday! "Don't be so mean to Gummy! He didn't write the fic." [We find ourselves in our infamous sporking theatre. It's a bright and sunny day outside, the birds are chirping, and all is well. This, however, doesn't lighten the mood in the theatre.] Kay: Mr. Edgeworth, you better not cut Gummy's pay again. How do we even know if the fic is about him? Edgeworth: Kay, this fic is titled "Drunkshoe's Adventure." Kay: So? For all we know, it could be the adventures of a drunk shoe! You can't deny the possibility. Edgeworth: How, exactly, is a shoe supposed to get drunk? Kay: *shrugs* Dunno. We've seen weirder things happen in here. Edgeworth: …It's a very sad fact that that is true. Gumshoe: Kay's right, sir! It could be Shoe the cat who drank a bit of liquor! Kay: Yeah! …Wait, Shoe the cat? Gumshoe: That's the name of the cat of that actor who killed the Jammin' Ninja! The… Dime Samurai? Edgeworth: That is the Nickel Samurai, Detective! Gumshoe: Yeah, him! I knew the Dime Samurai didn't sound right… Kay: Poor kitty had to be owned by the person who ruined the Jammin' Ninja. See, Mr. Edgeworth? I told you the Jammin' Ninja was better than the Steel Samurai or any of its spin-offs! Edgeworth: It doesn't matter to me which one is better. Kay: Yeah, whatever you say. Edgeworth: Nngh… Quote: Drunkshoe's Adventure By: Batty Rose Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Edgeworth: It's the first line of the fic and we're greeted with caps-lock abuse. This is off to a great start, surely it is. Kay: At least the author admitted that they don't own anything. They know I can come by and steal stuff at any time! Edgeworth: Kay, please. Gumshoe: Don't come and steal my money, or my instant noodles, pal. Kay: Aw, you two should know that I'm only joking. I'm not that kind of thief, I'm the Great Thief Yatagarasu who steals the truth! Edgeworth: We're aware. Quote: Late one night, Phoenix Wright and the gang (the members of which constantly changed) held their traditional celebratory drinks and/or dinner night following yet another successful trial. Even his opponents, Miles Edgeworth and Dick Gumshoe, were present, as they typically were of late. Since they had moved on to the "drinks" part of the night, Maya and Pearl Fey had gone home, leaving a tipsy crew consisting of Phoenix, Edgeworth, Gumshoe, Franziska von Karma (because she 'wanted to keep an eye on that scruffy idiot' or whatever), and Larry Butz, who was somehow the key witness for the sixth consecutive time. Edgeworth: I'm not completely certain when this fic takes place, but if Maya isn't old enough to drink, then neither is Franziska. Also, if the prosecutor used Larry as their decisive witness, then their case must not have been very solid. Kay: And I don't think Ms. von Karma would go out drinking after a trial. Or at least not with Mr. Wright and Maya involved. Edgeworth: Don't forget Larry. Quote: "A toast!" Phoenix tittered as he raised his whiskey glass and pointed one finger in the direction his voice carried (which he always did when yelling, it turns out). "To me winning another case!" Kay: …Does Mr. Wright… titter? Edgeworth: No. I've also never seen Wright drink whiskey, or anything stronger than grape juice for that matter. Kay: Does he really drink grape juice? Edgeworth: I sincerely doubt it. Quote: A few people mumbled. Phoenix frowned at the lack of enthusiasm. "Also, drinks are on me!" he added. The bar burst into cheers and applause, to which the attorney clumsily bowed. Edgeworth: Wright is volunteering to pay? Especially for something as expensive as alcohol? Now I know he's out of character. Gumshoe: Yeah! We always force him to pay, and the look on his face makes me want to treat him. Quote: "That idiot," muttered Edgeworth. "He only got lucky." "I know!" Gumshoe boomed in reply. "Heck, if you were on the case, we woulda won for sure, sure. I mean, sir. We woulda won for sir, sure. No, wait." He took a swig of his beer. "Aw, who cares? Free drinks!" Another cheer erupted through the room. Edgeworth: Detective Gumshoe. I hope you don't mix up words like that on a regular basis. Gumshoe: Of course not, Mr. Edgeworth, sir! Although you have to admit that they are pretty easy to mix up. Edgeworth: …Indeed. Gumshoe: I-I don't like the way you said that, sir… Quote: Edgeworth rolled his eyes and whispered, "Such a moron." Kay: Are you calling Gummy that? Edgeworth: I believe I am. However, I am not particularly fond of the word "moron." Quote: "Yoo-hoo! Larryyy~" Franziska called out. "Where aaaaaare yooou?" All: … Edgeworth: I… I am glad that Franziska isn't here to see this. Kay: Yeah, she'll probably have a fit. Gumshoe: And I'd be her whipping target for sure, pal! Quote: He was sobbing in the corner about something, but Franziska didn't notice. "Her, too?" The prosecutor sighed and massaged his forehead. "Tell me something, Gumshoe. Why do people enjoy the drunken company of others?" Edgeworth: That's something I often ask myself, actually. Kay: It's because they can all act silly and have an excuse to do so! Edgeworth: But why would people want to act like that in the first place? Kay: Because they think it fun? Duh. Edgeworth: …Right. How silly of me. Quote: "Um..." The detective paused and blinked. "Because they're drunk too, sure?" "Wrong word." "Right! Sir!" He snapped to attention. "At ease." Kay: I liked my explanation better. Also, what's that "at ease" for? Edgeworth: I think it's because the detective was nervous when he answered me. Kay: …But the way it was put in made it sound like you answered your own question. Edgeworth: Well then, the author simply needs to be more cautious when writing their dialogue. Quote: Gumshoe relaxed. "Hey. Why don't you have a drink, sir?" "Because I pride myself on my public image," replied Edgeworth coolly. He traced his finger along the edge of his glass of water. "I rather wish all of you did as well." "Uh. Good point, sir." Edgeworth: Yes, it really would be nice if everyone payed more attention to their dignity. Gumshoe: I pay very much attention to my dignity, sir! I have enough respect in myself to not put too much salt in my instant noodles, unless it's a special occasion. I want to keep myself in good health, or else I might not be able to pay my medical bills. Kay: Um… Edgeworth: Moving on… Quote: As the night continued, so did the drinking, and the collective alcohol intake of the group rose to uncomfortable levels. Almost everybody wound up going home after an embarrassing encounter between Larry and a row of bar stools, Edgeworth: I really don't want to know the details between Larry and those bar stools. Kay: Maybe he was so drunk that he ended walking in to them and they all fell on the floor? Edgeworth: … (I've been around Wright too much. I believe his mind is starting to become contagious…) Quote: and the prosecutor and his sidekick followed suit. The former rolled his eyes again as he kept a steady arm around the latter. "Thanks," Gumshoe slurred. "You're a real pal." "I'm just doing my duty as a good samaritan," said Edgeworth. "Had you stayed longer, your smell would have put that bar out of business." "Haaa! That's funny." "I wasn't joking." "Huh? Y-you weren't?" Gumshoe strained to understand, making his balance even worse. Gumshoe: H-Hey, I don't stink! D-Do I? Edgeworth: Well, no, but it wouldn't hurt to wash your coat. Gumshoe: Hmm… I'll see if I have any spare change to go to the dry-cleaners. No promises though. Kay: Is it really that bad, Gummy? Gumshoe: No, no it's not. I'm perfectly fine, don't you worry about me! *pulls out wallet* See? I just got this new wallet the other day! Kay: Really? Where'd you get it? Gumshoe: Err, I don't, uh, remember. Quote: Edgeworth barely managed to pull him back after he stumbled too far to the side. "Careful!" he scolded. "You'll fall off the sidewalk." "Oh. Sorry." They continued in silence for another block. "Hhhey, Sir?" Kay: How do you pronounce all those H's together? Edgeworth: It seems that it's supposed to be a stutter. Kay: That's not how you write a stutter, though. It sounds like he's out of breath. Edgeworth: … (Don't say anything. The detective would most likely get offended and Kay is here as well.) Quote: Edgeworth sighed. "What is it?" "Can..." The detective concentrated on speaking as slowly and clearly as he could. "Can I... call you Edgeworth?" "... I suppose." Gumshoe: Really? Can I, sir? Edgeworth: No. It is not respectful to be calling your superior by their last name without a "Mr." or "Ms." before it. Gumshoe: What if you weren't my superior anymore? Edgeworth: …Then I suppose you could. (Actually, where in canon is he from? Is he even a detective anymore?) Speakers: The management would like to remind Miles Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited. Edgeworth: Nnnh, stop reading my thoughts! It's unnerving. Quote: Gumshoe smiled. "R-really? Then, can I call you Miles?" Edgeworth: Absolutely not. Quote: "Absolutely not." Kay: Echo! Gumshoe: W-Wow, how'd you do that, sir? That's amazing! Edgeworth: This is what happens when the author writes someone in character, for once. Credit when credit is due, I didn't do anything. Kay: By the way Mr. Edgeworth, why do you hate your first name so much? Edgeworth: What are you talking about? I do not dislike my first name. Kay: Really? Who calls you by that name, then? Edgeworth: My father did. As did my school teachers. Kay: Who else? Edgeworth: Mr. Shields, of course Kay: And? Edgeworth: And… that's it. Kay: You definitely don't like your first name. Edgeworth: …I'm not going to argue with you anymore. Quote: "Oh." He looked dejected for a second, but then snapped back into his grin. "Hey, Edgeworth!" "What now?" "That's it." He pointed in the general direction of an apartment building that looked like it was about to fall apart. "That's my place." "Oh." Edgeworth wrinkled his nose. True, he'd heard of Gumshoe's... unfortunate inability to earn more than minimum wage, but this place was just awful. Kay: How have you only heard that he can't make minimum wage? You're the one who put him in that state! Gumshoe: Mr. Edgeworth is plenty generous, pal. Kay: *to Edgeworth* How much did you brainwash him? Edgeworth: I didn't brainwash anybody! Quote: He watched as the poor guy fumbled with his keys, trying to unlock the front door but not even almost hitting his target. He sighed. "Give me the keys." Gumshoe sulked and handed them over. Edgeworth watched him from the corner of his eye while thumbing through the keys, worried that the oaf might manage to injure himself by simply standing still. It could happen, he figured. The guy was drunk, after all. Then the door clicked open. Gumshoe's eyes lit up. "Thanks, pal! I'll see ya tomorrow." "Not so fast," corrected Edgeworth, putting his arm around the big guy again. "I'm not leaving until you're in your apartment. You'll probably kill yourself on those stairs." "Aaaahh, you're always so w-worried." But Gumshoe didn't object to the help. Edgeworth: I am not. Kay: Yeah you are. Remember that one time you- Edgeworth: We don't need to bring up old things, Kay. That was a long time ago, at least from where I'm from. Speakers: Miles, stop breaking the fourth wall already. It's getting annoying. Edgeworth: … Kay: Look, now you have someone new to add to your list of people who call you Miles! Edgeworth: *sigh* Quote: He had a giant, goofy smile on his face the whole time they climbed the stairs. By the time they reached the top, Edgeworth was huffing and grabbing his knees to stay standing. "Please tell me this is your floor," he wheezed. Gumshoe stumbled to a door just a couple feet away and reached for his pocket. His face fell with confusion as he started searching his gigantic coat's infinite supply of pockets. Gumshoe: But I only have two pockets… Edgeworth: By the way this is going, this fic should be re-titled as "Annoyed Edgeworth's Boring Adventure." Gumshoe: Aw, but I like it when a fic stars me. Quote: Edgeworth sighed and said, "I still have the keys." Then he proceeded to unlock the door. "Here you go," he dropped the keys in Gumshoe's hand. "Now, are you sure you'll be al-" Kay: -Alive in the morning? Edgeworth: -All right by yourself? Kay: -Alienated with a hangover when you wake up? Edgeworth: -Allowed to come into work tomorrow? Kay: That's just mean! You're going to fire him just because he had a little to drink? Edgeworth: A little? He can barely walk up the stairs without being held onto! Although, of course, the detective isn't much different, drunk or not. Gumshoe: I'm sitting right here… Quote: Suddenly, his air supply was cut off due to a serious case of bear hug. "Oof! Gumshoe! Get off of me!" The detective only responded by squeezing him tighter. "I love you, pal!" he sobbed. "I really do." All: … Edgeworth: I-I *closes eyes* Speakers: Miles, you're required to pay attention to the sporking. Kay: Do you want me to take care of them, Mr. Edgeworth? Edgeworth: N-No. I don't want what'll happen to Ms. Cykes to happen to you. *opens eyes* He's supposed to be drunk, so I suppose we could… we could let it slide. Kay: But you just said that he was no different drunk or n- Edgeworth: Don't remind me of what I just said, Kay. Quote: Too surprised and constricted to react, Edgeworth stood completely still. Several uncomfortable seconds later, Gumshoe's crying began to calm down. The prosecutor cleared his throat. "Hey. Gumshoe." "Yessir?" "Get off of me." "R-right!" He let go so fast, he nearly knocked Edgeworth over. "Sorry!" he hiccuped. "You're forgiven." The smaller guy steadied himself and knocked some dust from his sleeves. "Now go sleep this off. I want you fully recovered when you're back on duty tomorrow." "Yes, sir!" Gumshoe paused as if he was deciding something. Then, very quickly and almost as clumsily, he leaned forward and planted a scratchy kiss on Edgeworth's cheek. Edgeworth: … Gumshoe: Um, sir, while I like you and respect you, I would never- Edgeworth: Detective, please. Don't. Gumshoe: S-Sorry… Quote: The latter stiffened in alarm as the former beamed, shouted, "G'night!" and bolted inside. It took a few minutes for Edgeworth to compose himself enough to leave. He was just drunk, he told himself. Just act like it never happened. Edgeworth: Yes. Let us please do that. Kay: Well, maybe if you were drunk too, you could forget all of this! Quote: And yet, as he walked home, he pondered the kiss some more. In its own stupid, clumsy, ridiculous way, that oaf's affection was... pleasant. Endearing, even. Edgeworth: No! Not pleasant! Not endearing! Those two words don't work with Detective Gumshoe! Gumshoe: H-Hey… Kay: Gummy's pleasant to be around! He's a nice guy and is funny! *to Gumshoe* Don't listen to him, he's just a sour puss today. Edgeworth: … Quote: Edgeworth smiled. Maybe I like this drink night tradition after all. Edgeworth: I definitely do not. Gumshoe: If it helps, I wouldn't really ever have more than one glass. So, you don't have to worry about that, sir! Quote: Fin Edgeworth: Thanks goodness. [The lights turn on.] Edgeworth: Let's go. Gumshoe: *confused* F-Fins? Edgeworth: *sigh* It's a French word for "the end" and some people like to use at the end of movies and some stories. Gumshoe: O-Oh, you learn something new every day! Edgeworth: Honestly, Detective. For not knowing something as easy as that, I have half a mind to- Kay: *punches him in the arm* Stop it, Mr. Edgeworth! Edgeworth: -To buy you a dictionary. Gumshoe: R-Really, sir? Oh boy, that sounds great! I can finally put something on that shelf of mine. Do you think it'll look good on the right or left side of the shelf? You know, I think- [And so, another sporking come to its end. The fic wasn't too bad this time, but how about the next? Who knows what this wonderful theatre has in store for the future! We'll see you next time!] |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:12 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Ahahaha, poor Gumshoe. Really a shame that more fanfics don't star him, actually. And nice sporking! Always good to have Gummy in the theatre; he's one of those "unexpectedly funny" types. Might do Kink Meme Special II sometime in the next few days, maybe even as early as tonight. I went on a slash hunt today and now I really need to go back to clearing out my Badfic folder.... |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:44 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Poor Gumshoe. He may be the "unexpectedly funny" type, but every time he flubs on something, it makes me think that he's not receiving enough nutrition to his brain. Speaking of which, could someone remind me who is doing Athena's punishment sporking? I feel it's a little pressed to force her in my sporking when I'm letting Kay and Ray take the spotlight. |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:59 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Speaking of which, could someone remind me who is doing Athena's punishment sporking? I feel it's a little pressed to force her in my sporking when I'm letting Kay and Ray take the spotlight. I am. I already found a fic for it, I just haven't actually started the sporking yet. By the way, I'm excited to see Ray in the sporking theatre. He's definetly one that would be funny. |
Author: | Oliver [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:25 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Skittlemask wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Speaking of which, could someone remind me who is doing Athena's punishment sporking? I feel it's a little pressed to force her in my sporking when I'm letting Kay and Ray take the spotlight. I am. I already found a fic for it, I just haven't actually started the sporking yet. By the way, I'm excited to see Ray in the sporking theatre. He's definetly one that would be funny. Could I collab with you on it? I started a little setting of Athena's Punishment Sporking in my next sporking. |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 4:59 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
ob9410 wrote: Skittlemask wrote: I am. I already found a fic for it, I just haven't actually started the sporking yet. Could I collab with you on it? I started a little setting of Athena's Punishment Sporking in my next sporking. It depends if you're OK with the fic I chose, as I'd probably have to post it elsewhere and just link it here. Unless you chose one more suiting to punish her. What fic do you have in mind? |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 5:33 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Skittlemask Is it the JustiCykesQuill one? Good luck. It's definitely a drag to read. |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 6:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
cuteyounggirlplus wrote: @Skittlemask Is it the JustiCykesQuill one? Good luck. It's definitely a drag to read. No, it's not. I was thinking of doing that one, but I couldn't stomach reading past the 2nd line break, exactly because it's a pain to read. The fic I found is one on AO3 that is Phoenix/Athena. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 8:04 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Taking a break from foaming at the mouth on the floor because GS6, also, still no DGS localization announcement even though they just announced GS6 localization? Why? Why do you do this to me, Capcom. Let's get sporking! Today's sporkers are...! Phoenix Wright! "The fic title is missing again..." Maya Fey! "Nick, they're gonna punish you for breaking the fourth wall." Ema Skye! (Trilogy era) "Is there supposed to be something ominous about the lack of a title?" Trucy Wright! "Back to the Kink Meme, right?" and Pearl Fey! (AJ era) "That does sound ominous!' [We open up in our sporking theatre, where today's sporkers are already seated. After Trucy's comment about the Kink Meme, everyone is a bit on edge.] Speakers: You think you're clever for figuring it out, don't you? Trucy: No, I know I'm clever. Right, Daddy? Phoenix: Of course, Trucy. ...is it just me, or is there a theme with the sporker picks today? Ema: What, underaged girls that you hang out with? Scientifically speaking! Pearl: But Mystic Maya's not underaged! Maya: Yeah! Speakers: Don't change the subject! We were just about to welcome you to today's quintuple feature: The Kink Meme Special II! Maya: Electric Boogaloo? Phoenix: More like Die Harder. Pearl: That's really pessimistic, Mr. Nick. [The lights dim.] Speakers: Phoenix Wright, just for that sarcastic comment, we're going to be starting off with that fic that we mentioned last time. Ema: What fic? Spoiler: Grossberg lays an egg. Ema: If we're out of the spoiler tag, then I guess it is! Scientifically speaking. Speakers: The speakers would like to request that Ema Skye refrain from meta-commentary. Maya: And Maya Fey would like to request that the Management give us snacks! Trucy: Hey, Daddy, if we give young Ema Snackoos, will she turn into regular Ema? Phoenix: ...uh... Pearl: I think the next fic is starting. Spoiler: ((When I saw this, I laughed, then recoiled in horror, then realized hey, I should write this one...)) Maya: I have no tolerance for bad food, Nick! Phoenix: Really? Because the way you shovel burgers into your mouth says otherwise. Maya: But burgers are really, really good! How dare you call them "bad food"! Phoenix: Cheap fast-food burgers are bad food, Maya! Maya: Well, maybe if you weren't so stingy- Trucy: *to Pearl* Aren't you gonna stop them? Pearl: No... I think it's kind of cute, actually... Ema: Um, the next fic is starting up... Spoiler: You're so Super-Cool Matt! Trucy: Shh, you'll make him feel old! Ema: Don't feel bad, Mr. Wright! Aging is a natural part of life! Phoenix: ... Maya: Besides, you've always been an old fart! Phoenix: .... Pearl: I don't think you're old, Mr. Nick... Phoenix: Thanks, Pearls. Trucy: Oh look, the next fic! Spoiler: Whistle while you work! Pearl: That fic was kind of like an anti-drug PSA. Trucy: "Don't take drugs, kids! Or else your father's toilet-cleaning habit will suddenly become a musical toilet-cleaning habit!" Maya: "Don't clean the toilets too much! Or else the chemical smell will make you start hallucinating that you're a Disney princess!" Ema: I don't think it works like that... Pearl: I'm just wondering if Mr. Nick is a Disney princess, who is his prince? Mystic Maya? Maya: As long as I get a cool horse. Phoenix: Ha ha ha. Not all Disney princesses have princes, you know. Merida doesn't. Ema: I'm surprised you know that, Mr. Nick. Phoenix: I-I have a daughter! Trucy: ...shouldn't the next fic be starting now? Speakers: Actually, we still need to share the picture that sort of accompanied the fic. Phoenix: ............ Maya: Nice. Ema: What does the Management mean by "sort of accompanied"? Speakers: According to the artist, they actually started drawing it before they had read the fic. Ema: Scientifically speaking, that means that more than one person had the Mr. Wright-as-a-Disney-princess idea! Phoenix: Wonderful... Trucy: Ah, and here's the last fic now! Spoiler: Guards Gone Wild Phoenix: Which means the end of the Kink Meme Special II... Maya: Thank Goodness. Phoenix: That wasn't nearly as bad as last time, honestly. Speakers: The Management is in a celebratory mood today. Pearl: Why? Speakers: Pff, we're not gonna break the fourth wall here. Ema: Interesting. I thought our rules didn't apply to the Management. Speakers: Also, we're not obligated to answer any of your questions. Ever. Trucy: So you're invoking the right to remain silent? Maya: How come they keep talking, then? Speakers: ... Phoenix: Ah, that's better. Let's go, girls. [And so today's sporkers leave. They seem to have been lulled into a false sense of security.] Speakers: False sense of security indeed... sassing us like that... [Well, punishment sporkings seem to be popular nowadays, anyway... tune in at some unspecified point in the future for the Kink Meme Special III!] |
Author: | Oliver [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 11:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Skittlemask wrote: cuteyounggirlplus wrote: @Skittlemask Is it the JustiCykesQuill one? Good luck. It's definitely a drag to read. No, it's not. I was thinking of doing that one, but I couldn't stomach reading past the 2nd line break, exactly because it's a pain to read. The fic I found is one on AO3 that is Phoenix/Athena. Okay, I'm up for that. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Tue Sep 01, 2015 11:57 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Thank you, Airey. While I was busy spinning in circles over the latest news of Nick heading to Lhasa, I stop by to find a sporking that made me spin even more. Then again, it's the kink meme. Ah, man. I've forgotten about that picture. It's surprisingly well drawn considering the context. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:03 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I've just honestly been laughing at the fact that two separate people simultaneously had the idea for Disney princess!Nick. I'm preeeeetty sure that wasn't part of the prompt. |
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