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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | WrightBrother [ Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:19 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Today’s Sporking: Bath Time Rating: 1 x Sahwit. This fic honestly isn’t bad at all. The only potential problem with it is that the situation it presents is rather unlikely (but then again, so are most of the situations in the series..). Both Phoenix and Maya are entirely in character here; the author did very well with making the dialog and narration regarding the characters believable. I figured it would be enjoyable to see them reacting to this short story in the sporking theater, so without further ado… Let’s meet our sporkers!: "Haven’t I been through enough of this already?!" "Oh, this is so exciting!" "There had better be good reason for interrupting my work." ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Three dark silhouettes are seen from behind, sitting in a row and preparing for the sporking. All three appear to be about the same height while sitting if the bun of hair of the middle person is taken into account. Maya: *puffed out cheeks* "It’s NOT a top knot!" Edgeworth: "Of all days, it had to be this one." Phoenix: *staring past Maya* "What are you talking about?" Maya: "Edgeworth, why does it seem like you just got out of bed?" Edgeworth: "The water in my house wasn’t functioning appropriately this morning, and I was thus unable to bathe myself." Maya: "Don’t worry, Nick skips his showers all the time!" Phoenix: "Hey, wait, w-what?!" The lights dim in the theater. Quote: Bath Time, written by Lex Lexa Phoenix: "…" Maya: "We were just talking about a bath! How ironic!" Edgeworth: "It isn’t irony, Maya, it is a coincidence." Quote: Phoenix leant on the door of the living room, observing Maya, well checking up on her. She was not her usual self on this cold winter day. In fact, you could barely see her underneath all the blankets he had wrapped around her. Edgeworth: *folds his arms* "I see where this is going." *crosses legs, pulls out a magazine and begins reading* Maya: "Nick, what does he mean?" Phoenix: "I have no idea." Quote: “So Yoda, have you finished your soup?” Phoenix asked, smiling. Phoenix: "Y’know, considering the fanfics we usually encounter, this one doesn’t seem to be that out of character, if at all." Maya: "I was thinking the same thing." Edgeworth: *peers up from his magazine, frowns* Quote: Maya looked up at him, eyes glazed over and her little face flushed, “Mmmhmmm” As Phoenix took the bowl from her, Maya weakly grabbed his arm. “Why do I feel like this Nick?” Edgeworth: *not even looking up* "I would assume the self-evident fact that you are ill would suffice as an answer to this unnecessary inquiry." Quote: “Because Maya, when you insist on playing in the snow for hours with just your Yukata on, you get sick” Phoenix: *nudges Maya* "That does seem like something you would do, Maya." Edgeworth: "I am inclined to agree." Maya: *looking back and forth at them* "Heeeey!" Quote: Maya pouted, “But you were playing too! Why aren’t you sick? It’s not fair!” Maya: *claps hands together* "Nick, if I were sick in real life, you would get sick with me too, right?" Phoenix: "Umm… sure I would…" Edgeworth: "I’m afraid that’s not entirely under your control, Wright." Quote: Nick chuckled, “Someone needs some more Cold Killer X…” Nick crouched down in front of her and felt her forehead with his hand, with a concerned look he said, “Wow, even Cold Killer X can’t break your fever” Maya began to wrap herself tighter in her pink fleece blanket, tears forming in her eyes, she began to cry and tell Nick how much her body ached. Stuck with ideas on how to help other than offering pain killers, Phoenix offered her comfort by stroking her head. Phoenix: "But how could I stroke her head without the big knot on top getting in the way?" Edgeworth: *smirking* "It’s almost like it’s a-" Maya: "Shut up!" Quote: “Well,” he began, an idea forming in his mind, “If your body aches, how about a nice hot bath?” Edgeworth: *bringing magazine down a little, glaring at screen* "Just as I expected." Maya: *peeking over* "Hey, that’s an issue of Steel Samurai!" Phoenix: *looks over at Edgeworth, smirking* Edgeworth: "W-what is?" *sweating* Quote: “Meh. I don’t know… I like it here on the sofa…” “Don’t worry, I’ll start running it for you,” Phoenix offered, Maya nodded and slumped back into the sofa. Phoenix: "Uhh…" Edgeworth: "It appears you too have caught the direction of this fanfic, Wright." Maya: "What? Where is it going?!" Quote: After collecting a pile of dirty tissues and safely disposing of them, he got on with running the bath for Maya. She had been teary eyed all day but he’d never had imagined the struggle to get Maya off the sofa and away from the Steel Samurai DVDs. Phoenix was also never allowed to be too far away from her- her fever and self pity had made her unusually needy. Phoenix couldn’t blame her of course; she was nowhere near as bad as he was when he got a case of “man flu”. Just as he was about to get back to work, he heard a voice all too familiar. “Niiiiick…can you come here?” Edgeworth: "I sincerely hope you disinfected your hands upon disposing of the bacterial Kleenex." Phoenix: "'Man flu'?" Quote: Phoenix sighed and lent his ear against the bathroom door, when it fell open. “GAK! MAYA! Why did you leave the door unlocked?!” Maya: *daring smile* "Ooh, Nick, can’t I get one moment of privacy?" Phoenix: *blushes* "It’s FIC!me, not the real me!" Edgeworth: "Trusty magazine…" *face disappears behind magazine* Quote: “Nick! You’re right I do feel a bit better!” She smiled sleepily, lying in the bath on her front, head poking above the water. Phoenix convinced himself that it could only be the deliriousness from her fever that could lead her to being so… “Niiiick, will you please… stay in here? In the bathroom?” Edgeworth: *throws hands in the air* "I might as well borrow your copy of Titanic." Phoenix: "Well, at least we’re still in character…" Maya: "NO! It’s my only copy!" Quote: Phoenix promptly marched over and shut the shower curtain, “Maya…” he exasperated, “I can’t stay in here while you’re…” “Please…” She said poking her head out of the curtain, refusing to stay hidden. Maya: *bumps Phoenix with elbow* "This is getting pretty intense, Nick!" Phoenix: *deadpanned*("I can’t imagine actually being in this situation.") Quote: Nick couldn’t deny such a cute face, her hair tied up in a bun at the top of her head, her cheeks bright red. Phoenix: "Why is the narrator referring to me as “Nick”?" Maya: *ponders for a moment* "Maybe the narrator is Larry!" Edgeworth: "Nonsense. I see no random outbursts or overuse of the Caps Lock key." Quote: He noted to himself that he didn’t actually SEE anything, so he felt it was okay to sit in the bathroom with her and keep her company. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and took a seat on the toilet seat cover. He shook his own head at how weird this way, how he couldn’t resist Maya’s cuteness. By what can only be compared to guilt, he looked down at the floor while chatting to her, in case he caught even a glance at her bare skin through the tiny gap in the shower curtain. Edgeworth: "I should applaud you, Wright. You have the self-control of a true man, yet your actions are that of a twelve year old." Phoenix: "..You couldn’t just leave it at the compliment, could you?" Edgeworth: "I’m afraid not." Quote: “So you’re feeling better?” He asked awkwardly Edgeworth: "Wright, your ability to speak clearly under pressure here appears similar to your courtroom composure." Phoenix: "H-hey!" Quote: “Mmm, yes this bath is lovely!” Maya suddenly popped through the shower curtain again. Maya: "…I want a hot bath! Nick, make me a hot bath!" Phoenix: "Never." Quote: Phoenix froze and went bright red as she reached her soap covered arm out to him, all Phoenix could do was watch as Maya grabbed his tie and saw himself getting gradually closer to her smiling, flushed face. “Nick..?” Phoenix: *Turning bright red* Maya: *pokes Phoenix, smiling* Edgeworth: "Er..just how far is this going to go…" Phoenix: "It says it’s rated Fiction K." Edgeworth: *Sighs with relief* Quote: He instinctively grabbed hold of her wet hand, looking into her sleepy, glazed over eyes, “What’s that Maya?” She pulled him closer and pressed her lips against his, Phoenix embraced Maya- refusing to acknowledge how soaked his shirt was getting. “Thanks for looking after me today…” Edgeworth: "Well…at least that’s over. Although, my complaints are few and far between considering the overall quality of the writing." Phoenix: "I suppose you’re right. What’d you think, Maya?" Maya: *blushing heavily* "Umm…it was nice." Phoenix: "?" Edgeworth: *smiles* They exit the sporking theater. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ As this was my first sporking, I would genuinely appreciate some feedback. Did I stay in character okay? What kinds of improvements could I have made? Anything I did well? Thank you for reading |
Author: | Coyote [ Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:06 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Quote: As this was my first sporking, I would genuinely appreciate some feedback. Did I stay in character okay? What kinds of improvements could I have made? Anything I did well? Thank you for reading Never change. I have never seen someone so endearingly polite and nice to the author in their sporking, and I'm all about that. Some writing is so unbelievably terrible that you can't help but laugh, but most of the targets of sporking end up being fairly mediocre but harmless fic. You seemed to have fun with this, and you weren't mean-spirited about it at all! Everyone wins. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:21 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Nice spork, WrightBrother. :) There is still room for improvement, but for a first spork, it's really good and fun to read. So please take the following as encouragement to improve, rather than hostility.I would like to read more sporks from you. Notes: -Ideally try to avoid having the characters talk/react to your script. They can't read or hear what the cursive says, they can only read/watch/hear the fic and the management's messages via the speakers. The only exception should be the introduction right before the sporking, where they may react to what you say to introduce them, since it's not clear where they are at that point. -Maya should not call Edgeworth "Edgeworth" (in much the same way that your friends should not call your mom "mom". Not everyone uses the same name for the same character). ;) -Edgeworth is mighty ballsy to openly read a magazine like that during the sporking. We should keep him aware of the fact that this is a rule violation and likely to earn him a punishment. He's also mighty ballsy to bring another treasured Steal Samurai magazine with him after Maya already nabbed one. Or does this spork take place before that one, or during the time screw? (This is a possibility, but it would be good to know.) -If you want one sporker to react to another sporker's comment, it's important to have this happen before anyone else comments. If you have to squeeze a third person's comment in between them, then the delay should be reflected in the replying sporker's answer (like having them mention that it's rude to interrupt, or repeat the part they answer to). Just think of text flow in real life. Bad example: Person 1: I hear you're a vegetarian, Alice. Do you still eat eggs? Person 2: This egg salad is delicious! You'll have to give me the recipe. Alice: Yes, I do. Thanks for asking. Good example: Person 1: I hear you're a vegetarian, Alice. Do you still eat eggs? Alice: Yes, I do. Thanks for asking. Person 2: This egg salad is delicious! You'll have to give me the recipe. Also good example: Person 1: I hear you're a vegetarian, Alice. Do you still eat eggs? Person 2: This egg salad is delicious! You'll have to give me the recipe. Alice: Yes, I do eat eggs, person 1. Thanks for asking. |
Author: | adit2789 [ Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Is it just me or is the general quality of fanfics improving? Seems sporkings dont happen that much anymore |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I think the quality has gone up somewhat, yes. But also, fanfiction.net has changed it so that you now can't copy-paste from the fics. There are some tricks for this, but I personally had to search for a while until I found something that worked for me. I am now currently working on a spork, but can't tell how long I'll be writing on it. Could be a while because I want to make sure I don't screw up this time. I sincerely hope that others will also write sporks again. Potential sporkers who can't work with fanfiction after the change could pm me, maybe what worked for me will work for you. |
Author: | Chloe [ Sun Mar 23, 2014 6:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
adit2789 wrote: Is it just me or is the general quality of fanfics improving? Seems sporkings dont happen that much anymore Ace Attorney fics have always had decent to great quality in general. Of course there are exceptions. |
Author: | Erulissë [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 2:54 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: I sincerely hope that others will also write sporks again. I want to try sporking something, but I can't seem to find any suitable fanfics to spork. Any ideas? |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 2:57 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Erulissë wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: I sincerely hope that others will also write sporks again. I want to try sporking something, but I can't seem to find any suitable fanfics to spork. Any ideas? This is the same problem I faced. Considering that you can't search by rating, just look for one and nitpick, it doesn't necessarily have to be HORRIBLE. Despite the thread being called "Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!". |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:12 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
They don't seem to write quite the type of badfic as they used to, nowadays, that much is true. My suggestion to you depends on whether or not you're motivated to check what fics have already been sporked. If you will do so, and thus be able to tell the sporked from the unsporked fics, I recommend searching for certain keywords (use Google instead of fanfic.net) that are likely to get some bad results. Such keywords could be, but are not limited to: Misspelled character names, any variation of "lol" and "lmao", "kissed", "blind date" and the likes, "doctor", "oc", "thingy" and "(random monster of the week)". If you do not want to check all the sporks for the fics they reviewed, just search fanfic.net for most recent result, check the descriptions and amount of words, and pick one (just don't pick "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Following the Law", because I'm working on that one). Oh, and ideally avoid crossovers, at least if the second series is too present. It can be fun, but there's always the risk of half your readers not being familiar with the series. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Jul 02, 2014 5:04 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Good job, everybody. Maybe I should spork something? I have some bad AA fics I've been hoarding for my spork blog... although I'm not confident in my ability to write canon character sporks, as opposed to OC sporks... |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Jul 02, 2014 6:34 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Well, if anyone needs help with canon characterization or just an editor for their spork, I'm available. I DO run a blog where I break Ace Attorney down into localization differences and get to know the characters pretty well, as well as their Japanese counterparts. Go for it, Airey. It's been a while since our last sporking, and we shouldn't let this thread die. This theatre was one of the reasons I joined these forums for. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Jul 02, 2014 6:46 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Well, if anyone needs help with canon characterization or just an editor for their spork, I'm available. I DO run a blog where I break Ace Attorney down into localization differences and get to know the characters pretty well, as well as their Japanese counterparts. Go for it, Airey. It's been a while since our last sporking, and we shouldn't let this thread die. This theatre was one of the reasons I joined these forums for. I... I guess. First off I need to go find the fics I've been hoarding, I guess. Has anyone read the one where Wocky Kitaki stands trial for raping someone with a sausage? That one was crazy enough to make an easy starter, but unfortunately I can't remember the title. Edit: I FOUND IT but it's a bit longer than I remember. So. Um.... |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:23 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Little advice: It's generally a good idea to keep the material in this thread at least vaguely below an R rating, since you never know who your readers may be. We can and do dance around the Yaoi tree alright, just... i don't know, I guess ask a mod or something if the material you want to quote is too explicit. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:38 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Fair point. (Although IIRC it wasn't shown, just kinda talked about in court.) Still, just because of length, I was planning on getting something else. The main problem is the fact that Wrightworth fics are basically my punching bags, but I'm not sure I'd be able to write Phoenix and Edgeworth sporking them. (It'd either be too obvious that I'm a Wrightworth shipper myself, or I'd be too over-the-top in making fun of it and it'd be out-of-character and/or come across as ship-bashing. Sigh.) |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
If that's your biggest problem, why don't you have some fun with it and have not the two themselves, but the people closest to them spork it? (For Phoenix, that would likely be Maya or Trucy. For Edgeworth, I'd say Kay, Franziska or Gumshoe, if you want to ruin their work relationship). You just know that the aftermath would be less than pleasant, and depending on whom you pick, you could have a fair amount of ridicule and/or shock going on in the theater. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Hmmm... well, maybe I'll just go find some random AJ-era fic, since I'm best at writing Trucy and Apollo. Does anyone have any on hand? I don't. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:58 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pick one: https://www.fanfiction.net/search.php?r ... formatid=0 |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Jul 04, 2014 3:36 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, let's give this a shot. Disclaimer: while this is hardly my first time sporking/my first time sporking AA fanfiction/my first time sporking with a canon AA characters, this is my first time sporking without one of my own OCs. So... bear with me here... I fear I might not have had enough snark to go around.... Many thanks to Pessimistic_Fool for giving me the link where I found this and also to Rubia Ryu for egging me on. This fic is called "A new Ace Attorney" and yes, that is how it's capitalized. I'll give this one Sahwit. It's not that bad, it's just really blah and Franziska is out-of-character. Today's sporkers will be... Hobo Nick "It's been a while." Apollo Justice "I didn't ask for this..." Trucy Wright "Cheer up, Polly! This one isn't supposed to be that bad!" We open up in our sporking theatre, which appears to have fallen into disuse lately. Already seated is a casually-dressed (and possibly drunk, we just don't know) Phoenix Wright, along with his daughter Trucy. Phoenix: ...and that's why you always make sure to lock your windows. Always. Trucy: I don't think anyone would be able to get past all the stuff piled in front of the window at the Agency anyway, Daddy. They are interrupted as Apollo Justice is unceremoniously shoved into the theatre. Apollo: OUCH! Ugh... *picks himself up* What did I do to deserve this? Phoenix: Come on, Apollo. It's not that bad. Apollo: This place has been empty for months, though! And even before that, the last time I was here- The lights begin to dim. Trucy: Ooh, Polly, sit down! It's starting! Apollo: Ugh, fine... they didn't even provide us with popcorn this time... Quote: "Your hands are shaking…" "You should be more worried about yourself." Trucy: So, who's talking to who? Any bets? Daddy? Phoenix: Well, Franziska's in this one, right? One of them's probably her. Trucy: ...I don't think either of those lines sound like anything she'd say, though. Quote: Franziska turned her head towards the subway windows and watched the city quickly pass them by. Phoenix placed his hand over Franziska's and said, "You didn't need to come. I know where the courthouse is…" Phoenix: Ooh, I was right. Trucy: Yeah, but how come the other person's you? Apollo: Don't tell me this a shipping fic... Phoenix: Relax, Apollo. You're not being paired up with anyone. Apollo: ...don't tell me you read the script already. And you're not sharing. Phoenix: *shady grin* Quote: A slight smirk formed on Franziska's lips as she replied, "Please, without me, you'd be nothing more than a lost dog…" Phoenix chuckled a bit and looked out the window as well. Trucy: Daddy's sense of direction isn't that bad. Phoenix: Come on, Trucy, give me some credit. Apollo: Am I the only one who's noticed that you're apparently taking the subway to the courthouse? Trucy: ...but, the courthouse isn't that far away from our house. Apollo: Exactly! Quote: Now 25 years old, Franziska has grown into a beautiful young woman. She is still a deadly opponent in court, but her whip is now out of the picture. Also, she grew her hair out. Phoenix: Wait. Her whip is out of the picture? *starts laughing* As if we could ever be so lucky! Apollo: Yeah, I remember the one time I was in here with her- Trucy: I heard you were a horse. Apollo: Moving on! Quote: After a few minutes, Franziska realized that Phoenix was beginning to play with her hair. Franziska smacked Phoenix's hands away and shouted, "Will you stop fooling around? How can you act so calm? YOU'RE BEING SUSPECTED FOR MURDER!" Trucy: I'm surprised it took her so long to notice! Apollo: And why is she shouting all of a sudden? Trucy: Maybe she's trying to outdo your Chords of Steel. Apollo: Ha. I'd like to see her do that! Quote: Phoenix placed a finger over Franziska's lips and said, "Don't worry, honey. The defense attorney I was assigned to is new at this job, but he has a lot of promise!" Franziska glared at him and muttered, "You always act like a goddamn child…" "That's why I married you, babe!" Phoenix exclaimed as he quickly flashed the wedding ring on his finger. Trucy: Daddy! You got married and you didn't even tell me?! Phoenix: I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive marriage to Franziska anyone. No one could. Apollo: Well, it could be possible if she wasn't using her whip anymore. Phoenix: Well, surviving marriage to an out-of-character Franziska would be much easier, I guess. Quote: Franziska smiled and kissed Phoenix slightly on the lips. "It's ironic that you're the older one in this relationship…" she muttered as the subway train began to slow. Phoenix: Hey. I'm not that immature. Apollo: (I wouldn't be too sure about that, Mr. Wright...) Quote: As the married couple walked out of the station, Phoenix asked, "Are you going to watch how it turns out?" Franziska shook her head and replied, "No, I don't think I can handle it. Call me when it's over, okay?" Phoenix: *raises eyebrows* Franziska not being able to handle a trial? Trucy: Maybe it's just some completely unrelated lady who just so happens to also be named "Franziska". Quote: Just before Franziska went back inside, Phoenix kissed her on the lips and whispered, "I love you…" Franziska did the same and walked away before Phoenix could see her cry. Apollo: Why is she crying? Does she not think I can get you acquitted?! Phoenix: Well, it's not like the real Franziska likes defense attorneys very much. Apollo: Yeah well this one apparently doesn't have much faith in you, either. ...not that you were doing a great job of not being suspicious. Phoenix: And? All's well that ends well, Apollo! Quote: Hosuke Odoroki, a 22-year old man fresh out of law school, wasn't exactly too pleased with his mentor at the moment. "Where the hell is he?" Odoroki muttered as he kept eyeing his wristwatch. Trucy: Hosuke... Odoroki...? Apollo: Oh right, that's my Japanese name. Trucy: That's silly. Why not just call you Apollo? Phoenix: This fic was published before your game even came out in Japan. Speakers: The management would like to remind Phoenix Wright that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited. Phoenix: What? It's true! Trucy: Why would you write a fanfic for something that hasn't come out yet...? Quote: Not only was his mentor, Garyu Kirihito, late, but the trial was about to start in half an hour! Odoroki cursed under his breath and muttered, "How long does it take him to pick up the defendant and bring him here? I mean, Mr. Kirihito said he even KNOWS this guy! He should be easy to spot!" Trucy: So I guess Garyu Kirihito must be Kristoph Gavin, then. Apollo: Yeah. ...boy am I glad he didn't get dragged in here to spork with us again. That was a disaster. Phoenix: I feel like I should be taking offense to that "easy to spot" remark. Trucy: Oh, you don't look weird, Daddy. Just unique! Apollo: (...I'm not even going to touch that one.) Quote: Suddenly, in the middle of his ranting, a light-red Ford drove up and screeched slightly against the curb. "Sorry I'm a little late!" called a blond man as he climbed out of his car. Trucy: I'm pretty sure light red and pink are the same things. Phoenix: Well, not according to some people. Apollo: I assume the blond man is supposed to be Mr. Gavin, but I'm having a hard time imagining him say "Sorry I'm a little late!" without being sarcastic. Quote: Odoroki tossed his hands in the air and shouted, " A LITTLE late?! The trial's about to start in 20 minutes! Did you find this 'Mr. Wright' person?" Apollo: ...and now I'm shouting at him. Do I have a death wish or something? Quote: Another door on the car swung open and a man wearing a black coat and a strange blue cap stepped out of the car. He also looked like he could use a good shave. Phoenix: It's... not so much a black coat as it is a gray hoodie. Trucy: And your beanie's not strange! Apollo: It's right about using a good shave, though. Phoenix: I think I look fine just the way I am. Quote: "Are you sure THIS guy is our defendant? He doesn't look much like someone who's being accused of murder." Odoroki asked. Phoenix smirked and replied, "Well, you don't look much like someone who's a defense attorney. How about that?" Trucy: I'm afraid to ask what you think someone accused of murder looks like, Polly. Apollo: I'm just more concerned about the fact that Mr. Wright apparently doesn't think I look like a defense attorney. Phoenix: Trust me on this - anyone wearing an attorney's badge looks like a defense attorney. Whether or not that badge belongs to them, or if it's even real, is completely irrelevant. Apollo: O...kay... (I'm afraid to ask.) Quote: 'This guy's a jerk.' Thought the sullen attorney as he walked back inside the courthouse to prepare himself, leaving the two men outside to relive the 'good old days'. Apollo: (Not entirely sure I'm wrong there.) Phoenix: Ha, reliving the good old days with Kristoph Gavin. That's a good one! Quote: Odoroki let out a nervous sigh as he made sure his tie was on straight. Slowly, the doors into the courtroom began to open. Suddenly, all of his nervousness vanished. With a look of determination in his eyes, Odoroki stepped up to the defense's chair and thought, 'No matter what, I will prove my defendant innocent!' Trucy: I thought there weren't any chairs behind the defense bench. I sure didn't see any. Apollo: I'd actually kind of like that. It does get a little tiring standing in the same place for hours on end. Phoenix: It beats sitting in the same place for hours on end, pretending to play piano.... Quote: The scuffling of feet and shushed voices filled the courtroom as the jury piled in to take their seats and observe the show. Soon, the judge entered as well, his white beard swaying slightly as he moved. Apollo: Wait, a jury? Phoenix: Maybe this is an AU where the MASON system actually went over well. Trucy: I thought this was already an AU. Phoenix: I guess my being married to Franziska somehow made the Jurist system return. *pauses* Not worth it. Quote: Kirihito placed a reassuring hand on Odoroki's shoulder and whispered, "Just stay calm and don't lose focus. You can do this…" Odoroki smiled confidently and nodded. The Judge's gravel banged against the desk, signaling the start of the trial. Apollo: ...I'm trying to imagine Mr. Gavin being reassuring... it isn't really working. Trucy: If I were you, Polly, I'd be kinda scared. Apollo: If I were me in the fic, I'd probably be wondering what happened to my name. The lights come back on. Apollo: Oh, that's it? Trucy: See, I told you it wasn't that bad! Phoenix: I almost wish we'd gotten something longer. Apollo: Please don't jinx us, Mr. Wright. Trucy: Well, if we're done here, we'd better get going! My show at the Wonder Bar starts in... *pulls watch out of magic panties* ...fifteen minutes! Phoenix: You're coming, of course, Apollo? Apollo: Uh... sure. And so our intrepid sporkers file out of the theatre. By the time Trucy's show started, they have most likely already forgotten what exactly this fic was about. However, perhaps the sudden revival of the sporking theatre after months of inactivity doesn't bode well for them... who knows? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:04 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pre reading thoughts: Wait, so you wrote an entire spork in like two hours? That's not a very safe way to do this... you had no time to proofread, or let it set and improve. Or are you some kind of robot? Do they build robots for that? ^^ well, let's see... I must say I'm feeling cauteous about reading this. Thoughts while reading: -It's good that you gave us the title of the fic, but for future sporks, please remember to also state the author. Just for the sake of continuity, you know. -I like your transition into the theater. Very good work there. Very nice style. -Uh, just another detail for future sporks: Please use um... an empty line (sorry, I don't know the English word... I mean the thing where you press Enter twice) between characters to make it easier to read. I made this mistake myself in the past, but it really does look better with more space. For narration, you can use any type of brackets, and again, put it in its own line. This is just for readability, as it can look like the narration is still said by the characters if it isn't set apart from them. -How does Hobo Phoenix know that Franziska is in the fic? Did he get a script? If so, you should mention that. The cast was not quoted, so he can't know it from the fic. (Okay, I see he did have a script. Still, the Franziska thing leaves the reader confused until this comes up.) -That horse joke will never die, will it? Poor Apollo... XD -What the heck, suddenly Japanese name in the fic? O.o And Apollo actually knows it's his name? Has somebody been googling himself? ;) -Love your little "anyone wearing an attorney's badge looks like a defense attorney" jab there. Overall, I feel like the sporkers are well written and interacting nicely with each other. -I notice you put a comma in "If I were you, Polly". I can't emphasize enough how much I appreciate that. Conclusion: Yup, you look like a robot to me. So, were can I order some of your type? That would surely help me write my own spork faster. ^^ Joke aside, I think you did very well for your first attempt. I liked it. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:10 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Aw, thanks. I'll keep double spacing and bracketing in mind for future installments. And I completely forgot about crediting the author, I'm so used to keeping it anonymous to prevent harassment. Also, I've been sporking since 2010, so that's why I'm pretty quick about it. Hehe. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:00 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Sorry for double posting, but it has been a few days... I was wondering. I have a fic in mind. It is terrible. Absolutely insane. At least five Sawhits. It has I think two sex scenes, both of which can be completely cut out without sacrificing the integrity of what plot there isn't. It's also 24 chapters long. I'm determined to spork this. I was wondering, though, if I should put it here or on my spork blog. Thoughts, anyone? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
If it's that long, I would suggest two things: 1) Divide it into several sporks f maybe two or three chapters each. You could also make a break between parts, so that the amount of new text to read wouldn't be overwhelming (we've done this before, there can even be other sporks between parts). If it's still too much, you could also hide some of it under a spoiler tag. 2) Where possible, cut out the quotes and replace them with a short summory of what happens in the fic. Just make sure to mark these bits as fic narration (by bolding them and putting them in a separate space, for example). |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Title: Law Plus Chaos Author: ChloboShoka Rating: Honestly, this is getting into Dahlia territory. It's supposed to be a crackfic, and the author is aware that everyone is out-of-character, judging by the tags, but it's just... awful. We have incest, rape, Godot being Apollo's father, Larry/Alita Tiala, and Edgeworth being brain-melting levels of stupid in the first couple chapters. It all goes downhill from there. This will just be the first two chapters. Today's sporkers will be... Hobo Nick! "Why didn't I get a script this time?" Apollo Justice! "Do I have to?" Trucy Wright! "What's the worst that could possibly happen?" aaaaaand... Resident Sporking Bitch, Miles Edgeworth! "I thought I was free of this godforsaken place!" [We once again open up in our sporking theatre, which appears to have been dusted somewhat in the last few days. Once again, Phoenix and Trucy Wright are already seated, and former appears to be actually... sober.] Phoenix: I heard that! Speakers: The Management would like to request that the sporkers refrain from commenting on the descriptive narration. [Apollo Justice enters the sporking theatre, this time of his own free will, assuming you ignore how quickly the door closes behind him.] Apollo: -all right, all right! I'm in! *takes his seat* Stupid troops... Trucy: Aren't we supposed to have a fourth person today? [Trucy's question is answered by the sudden loud commotion just outside the theatre doors, followed by a certain pink-suited prosecutor being literally thrown in.] Edgeworth: *thud* OUCH! Nnngh... *sits up* I thought this place was done for! *glares at narration* And for the last time, my suit is- Speakers: Once again, the Management would like to request that the sporkers refrain from commenting on the descriptive narration. Edgeworth: Hmph. *takes his seat next to Phoenix, looks at co-sporkers* And once again I'm out of my era, too. Phoenix: Oh, cheer up, Edgeworth. What's the worst that could happen? Edgeworth: Don't jinx it. ...would you happen to have a script? Apollo: None of us have a script. [The lights begin to dim.] Trucy: Shh, it's starting! Quote: Apollo never expected his career to lead him where he was now. Seduced by his half-sister, united with his father and facing court against top prosecutors. His chaotic personal life can either make or break him. Ultimate crack-fest! Everyone: *freezes* Apollo: ...wh... WHAT?! Edgeworth: I believe that is the summary. Apollo: No, I mean, what's this about "seduced by his half-sister"?! I DON'T HAVE A HALF-SISTER!! Phoenix: (...I knew I was forgetting something!) Speakers: The Management would like to remind Phoenix Wright that plot-important revelations should be kept inside the games, not the sporking theatre. Trucy: ? Daddy, do you know something about- Phoenix: No. Quote: "Thank you for the coffee, Butzy!" Godot smiled shaking hands with the Prison Officer. "Without coffee I am seriously going to die." Phoenix: Wait, is that supposed to be Godot talking? Edgeworth: One sentence in and it's already out-of-character. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. Quote: It was hard being limited on the one drink he adored. The decaffeination was driving him crazy. Prison was tough enough as it was, being guilty of murder. Apollo: He's in prison for murder and he's worried about the coffee? Phoenix: Actually, I'm pretty sure that bit is in-character. Edgeworth: I suspect that being limited to only one coffee a day would do more than drive him crazy, though. Phoenix: Oh yeah. Quote: It was all Dahlia's fault; she was the one who placed her in a coma, she was the one that made him kill Misty Fey. He didn't want to, but he had to protect Maya for Mia's sake. If only he could see Mia again, just for a second, he would tell his 'kitty' how much he wanted to be with her again. Edgeworth: I certainly hope the fic doesn't make a habit of summarizing things we already know. Trucy: Actually, I have no idea what it's talking about. Edgeworth: You are not the target audience. Phoenix: And I'm pretty sure he called Mia "kitten", not "kitty". Quote: "My pleasure," Larry saluted. "I'm surprised you're still here." They had postponed his execution again. To be honest, Godot didn't seem to care anymore; he just wanted to escape this hell. Edgeworth: A desire I can relate to. Speakers: The Management would like to note that dying in the sporking theatre is strictly forbidden. Edgeworth: Oh, shut up! Quote: ndulging himself to the fragrance of coffee was his perfect escape in life. Sometimes, Maya would channel Mia's spirit. He could still have an essence of Mia in his life again. "Ah, just the way I like it." he grinned. His taste buds gave approval. His real name was Diego Armando, but he preferred to be known as Godot in prison. And Godot shall be his name, until he finally feels free. Apollo: I vote we just cut out everything that the audience is already supposed to know. Edgeworth & Phoenix: Seconded. Trucy: I still don't know what it's talking about, though! Apollo: You should read through Mr. Wright's old case files, then. Quote: "You seem to be enjoying your coffee too." "Mr. Wright has seemed to have lost his way," Godot announced, "since being disbarred. All: ... Edgeworth: ...in what possible universe do these two lines of conversation fit together?! Quote: Kristoph was responsible for his downfall. He shares my cell. A lawyer can only cry when it's over," Godot was proud of this one-liner and truly believed it. Edgeworth: And now he's spouting completely irrelevant lines in response to his own dialogue. Phoenix: I know Godot can be hard to keep up with, but this is ridiculous... Quote: "Mr. Wright must have cried and cried. Inside he must still felt a bitter hunger for Gavin's downfall. Years to this present day, he has finally satisfied his hunger. Gavin's eyes have created a thunderstorm." Trucy: Daddy? Phoenix: Yes, Trucy? Trucy: What does this even mean? Apollo: We probably shouldn't question it, Trucy. Quote: "I HATE THAT GAVIN DUDE!" Larry shouted, "He is just evil!" "Then I will think of you, too; when the hot coffee drools down his cheeks." Godot washed his cup down in an instant. He was then in need for another. "That's why I got put in solitary confinement; I threw coffee at him. So any kitties been catching your eye lately Butzy?" he asked for the sake of a conversation. Edgeworth: Oh, now he wants to carry on a conversation. Phoenix: He's supposed to be friends with Larry here, right? ...shouldn't he know that's a dangerous topic with him? Edgeworth: ...suddenly I feel very afraid. Quote: "Oh yes," Larry exclaimed. "Where to start, my sweet Iris; she's so sweet. Mimi is so adorable, and her past is so tragic – I want to hug her. I will miss pink April May and her bouncy boobs! I need to see Phoenix's daughter, I think her name was Lucy – she sounds AMAZING." Edgeworth: Who let him into a women's prison? Apollo: I think he's supposed to be the guard. Phoenix: Forget that. Did no one notice the problem with his last statement? Trucy: ...my name's not Lucy? Phoenix: You're underaged. Edgeworth: Meaning, of course, that Larry is still in-character. Quote: He rambled on about the women non-stop. "I am so going to miss Lana and Iris. Man, the Skye family have a reputation for beautiful women cause Detective Skye is so pretty." "How delightful," Godot referred to his drink of choice, not Larry's words. It was clear to why Larry was still single: he chatted non-stop about girls and put a lot of them off. "This blend reminds me of her." he muttered to himself. "We shared this on our first date." Apollo: ...no one really pays attention to this guy, do they? Edgeworth: It's better that way. Quote: "I really want to go out with Alita; she's like a fallen angel, Do you know her?" Godot felt completely in the cold. "No," Godot responded, "but do tell me more about this kitty of yours." "Words alone can't express her sincerity mixed with attitude." Larry bragged on, blushing in in the progress. "I know she's a murderer, but I can get past that. Her ex-boyfriend was a brat and she only did it in self defense. Inside she must be wonderful. My wonderful Alita; how I love you so." He flashed a picture of Alita to him. "Look at her cheeky expression; so cute. Her yellow top is wonderful and the angel wings give her much more grace. She has an excellent taste in fashion." Trucy: ...huh. Apollo: This does not bode well. Phoenix: I could actually see Larry doing this, though. Quote: "Well, you have all the time in the world to win her heart," Godot told him. "Right now I'm just waiting for an escape." "YOU'RE ESCAPING PRISON?" Larry snapped. "Sorry, you can't do that." Apollo: That's an... awfully mild reaction for a prison guard to have. Edgeworth: At least the author has a passable grasp of Larry's character. Phoenix: Somehow, I get the feeling the rest of us won't be so lucky. Trucy: Cheer up, Daddy! We don't even know if you're in this yet! Quote: "Not like that," Godot responded. "I'm talking about more coffee." He grinned at Larry, "maybe if you spent more time trying to impress ladies than talk about them you would get more luck. You talk the talk, but you need to walk the walk too." "Wow, thanks for the advice Godot," Larry cried out, "you're amazing." Larry patted Godot's shoulder, smiling with glee. "I need to give Alita a present tomorrow. I'll give you extra coffee tomorrow, and here's some more coffee beans and instants if you need them." He stocked the cupboard up with what seemed like an unlimited supply of coffee. Phoenix: ...and somehow, I'm having a hard time believing that Godot would touch instant coffee with a ten-foot pole. Apollo: He certainly sounds like an... interesting man. Phoenix: You have no idea. Quote: "That will be wonderful, thanks." Larry left Godot to feast upon his coffee, whilst he marched to the women's cell in a hurry. He had to watch Alita sleep. Trucy: ...that's kinda creepy. Edgeworth: Remind me again how he became a prison guard? For a women's prison? Apollo: That for some reason has that Godot guy in it? Phoenix: I don't think the author thought this through. Trucy: Hey, the next chapter's starting! Edgeworth: *deep sigh* Quote: Apollo was working hard in the office. Phoenix and Trucy seemed to be absent today. Well, it gave them a chance to work in silence. It's always been loud around Trucy since they both found out that they were half siblings. Apollo: Wait, WHAT?! Trucy: Hmm, must be an AU fic. Although... it would actually explain a lot. Apollo: But you're younger than me! How am I supposed to have any younger siblings if I don't have parents?! Phoenix: ... Edgeworth: ...do you know something about this, Wright? Phoenix: Shh! Quote: Trucy seemed delighted, and could never take her eyes of him. It wasn't just any old stare too, it was a romantic one. Perhaps he was thinking too much; he couldn't put Trucy on trial for romance. Or could he? He was still a bit shaken up what happened a month ago. Apollo & Trucy: ! Phoenix: This really, really does not bode well. Quote: He didn't know weather to regret it or not. They didn't know that they were related till after the one night stand. He did kind of feel bad for taking advantage of Trucy's hyper mood. Well, he had to admit, Trucy was cute. Phoenix: She's also underaged! Apollo: I assure you, Mr. Wright, I have absolutely no plans on your daughter. At all. Ever. Trucy: I am cute, though. Quote: She was quirky and fun to hang to be around. No, he shook his head, he didn't want dirty thoughts of his half-sister. That would be throwing Phoenix and Trucy's help back at their faces. Phoenix: Yes, it would. *glares at Apollo* Apollo: What? I swear, Mr. Wright! I have no plans on Trucy!! Quote: Phoenix could technically be a father to him, or a step-father. Apollo: Okay, that's just disturbing. Edgeworth: The idea of Wright being a father in the first place is disturbing on its own. Trucy & Phoenix: Hey! Quote: He took care of Trucy like his own child. He was essential for the first few of his cases and helped put Kristoph Gavin behind bars. If he found out that he slept with his adoptive daughter, he probably would need anger management. Phoenix was about to re-take his bar exam at some point. The last thing he wanted was to stress Phoenix out of failing his exam. Phoenix: Oh, no, Apollo. Don't worry about the exam. Worry about what I would do to you. Apollo: That's - that's not me up there!! Quote: BANG! Trucy suddenly jumped on the table. It rained cards. Apollo jumped of his seat catching a card that slipped to his palms. Trucy giggled smiling at him. A card placed in her hand too. "Hey there Polly!" Trucy cried out. Apollo: Well, at least this part's in-character. She does that all the time. Phoenix: Trucy, you really should let Apollo work. Trucy: It's not my fault he's boring! [Apollo explains to Trucy that the prosecutor for tomorrow's trial will be Franziska von Karma. Trucy points out that it's his first trial that's not a murder case.] Quote: From what I've heard, she sounds ruthless: she's only lost to Phoenix. Klavier's bragged about her non-stop! He went on about how she's a prosecuting princess." "Is she's from Germany?" Trucy said. Trucy: I don't know. Is she's? Edgeworth: I'm very glad that Franziska is not actually here with us. Phoenix: Although we should probably still point out that she calls herself the "prodigy prosecutor", not "prosecuting princess". Edgeworth: Well, yes. That too. Quote: "Yeah," Apollo replied. "That must be how Klavier knows her. He also said he was not afraid to use her whip in the courtroom."Must concentrate on the trail tomorrow. He could get knocked out by whips if he wasn't fully focused or prepared. The mental image frightened his intelligence off. "I could ask Daddy about her," Trucy offered her help, "he should know a lot of stuff about her. She sounds mean. Anyway, Daddy's introducing you to Maya. I could ask him then." "Who's Maya?" "She used to be Daddy's assistant; she's really nice. I was good friends with her cousin, Pearl too. " Trucy giggled. "Polly..." "Yeah..." "I wanna show you a trick, which involves a stick." Apollo: Oh no. Trucy: I don't like where this is going, Polly. Phoenix: That's an understatement. Quote: Apollo remained silent: he just gained focus, which he didn't want to lose now! Trucy's skirt as getting shorter by the second... he shook his head again. "Come on Apollo," he whispered to himself, "Franziska sounds lethal, I gotta make sure all the evidence and paper work is ready." "You okay Polly-babes?" "What the- of course I'm fine!" He used used to being named Polly, but babes seemed to have randomly escaped Trucy's tongue. Edgeworth: "Polly-babes" is quite possibly the stupidest nickname I have ever heard, and I have heard a lot of stupid nicknames. Phoenix: I don't know. Remember that one fic that kept calling you "Miley Edwo-" Edgeworth: Don't finish that sentence. [Apollo worrys about his trial tomorrow. The defendant is Wocky Kitaki.] Quote: "Aww," Trucy wrapped her arms around her half-brother. Deliberately placing her chest in level with his head. "You are scared, maybe I should lighten you up." Her constant bouncing became uncomfortable for Apollo. "You're so cute when you're nervous Polly-babes." "Not in the way I thi-" Before he could even ask, his worst fear had been realized, he was cut off by a passionate kiss. Apollo: Gah! Phoenix: Why was the talk about the trial cut out, but not this?! Quote: Just like the last time, Trucy's breasts gave a softness against his chest. Her lips playing on and around his mouth and tongue. "Another thing," Trucy whispered. "We should try a sixty-nine, we never got to do that last time. I got 6 hearts on my card," she flashed the card with six red hearts on to Apollo. He gulped becoming silent. "Your card has to be 9 hearts in order for this trick to work. Have I got my magic panties on today?" she asked herself. "Let's check." She lifted her skirt more showing the panties that Apollo could very well remember. "Yes I have, I need them for this trick too. Now show me your card." Trucy: ...but... I don't wear my magic panties. Apollo: Is that really the issue here? Trucy: I'm trying to ignore everything else. Shh. Quote: "Incest is illegal in some countries you know," Apollo warned. He lost focus again; Trucy was an expert in distraction. He was sure it was illegal in some countries, not to mention morally frown upon. Edgeworth: And Trucy is underaged, too. Why is no one arresting him? Apollo: I'd arrest me. Phoenix: So the fic openly acknowledges that incest is wrong... and yet we all know it's going to continue anyway. Trucy: I don't like this, Daddy. Phoenix: I know. Quote: Trucy didn't seem to mind or care, as if she embraced what was forbidden. He didn't recall asking to see Trucy's trick bit he thought it would be best to get it over and done with first. He gulped the minute he checked his card, the nines at each corner and the hearts counted up to nine so clearly. "Not incest," Trucy replied. "IT'S WINCEST! Now show me the card." Phoenix: That's an awful pun. Edgeworth: It's no worse than your usual fare. Apollo: Again, is that really the issue here?! Quote: Apollo flashed the card and Trucy jumped with joy. "Okay now Apollo, put your free down my panties," Trucy requested. "WHERE?" Apollo shrieked. He scooted back, speechless and unable to find words. Did he really have to do it? He squinted, scratching his head and turned away. Leaving Trucy out stone cold. Phoenix: So at what point do they start cutting out the sex scenes? ...they are going to cut out the sex scenes, right? All: ... Quote: You know you want to." Trucy winked holding his hand. "Let's have some fun." "I think your idea of fun has gone way too far!" "Daddy doesn't have to know." "Don't you think we should close the door?" Apollo spat out. Edgeworth: No, don't. Then someone can wander in and report the two of you. Apollo: Mr. Edgeworth, I think we all know that is not going to happen. Quote: Trucy frowned staring at him whilst removing her cape. He stared down for a second and noticed her rubbing down below. She was letting out some small squeals. Apollo dashed near the door and pulled the door handle towards him. Not long after the slam, Trucy's arms held a strong grip on Apollo. Trucy pulled Apollo's jacket and claimed his lips again. There was no way out of this one. At last, Apollo filled Trucy's request, and his fingers tickled her backside. "Just get it over and done with," he muttered to himself. BOOM Their clothes had vanished. Trucy hugged his bare skin. Apollo felt as if his stomach had exploded. Their chests compressed together, almost like a battle field. Trucy's hat bounced on the carpet, revealing inches of various fabric. "Our clothes are in there?" "Yes," Trucy replied, "it's a good trick, took me ages to master it." Edgeworth: This is... disturbing. Apollo: You're not the one getting raped by your underaged half-sister up there! Why are we half-siblings in this, anyway?! Phoenix: Trucy, you don't know a trick like that, do you? Trucy: ...nope! Phoenix: Good. Keep it that way. [They have sex.] Apollo: THANK YOU FOR CUTTING IT OUT!! Quote: "That was fun!" Trucy exclaimed. She handed Apollo his clothes. "It's a really hot day today." Trucy pondered off near the windows, slipping on her clothes. Apollo sighed: Trucy was so carefree. Apollo gulped until his half-sister was decent. By the time her cape rested upon her neck, Apollo was dressed in an instant. Only one word could describe how he was feeling: thrilled. Edgeworth: No. That was not fun. That was a moral outrage. Phoenix: I feel like we're going to be put on an FBI watchlist just for being in this theatre. Quote: "You know, we're lucky no one just walked in on us right." Apollo mentioned. "I think we'd be screwed if we were." "The danger of it was pretty fun though, right?" "Yeah..." "NICK!" someone screamed just as Phoenix was about to enter the door. Phoenix: Wait. Have I been in there the whole time? Trucy: I think it was supposed to be an unannounced scene change. Quote: The voice sounded like it was from a familiar woman. Phoenix turned seeing a familiar girl behind him. He could never forget those purple robes and dark hair, nor the way those eyes used to sparkle to burgers. It was his former assistant: Maya Fey. "Hey Maya," Phoenix responded. "What's up?" Maya froze and gasped at his appearance. Phoenix: I don't look that different from how I used to. Edgeworth: Yes, you do. Phoenix: Shut up. Quote: "You've changed a lot since getting disbarred." Maya admitted. "I didn't know weather it was you or not." She knew this was a different Phoenix she used to know. He was a huge contrast to the lawyer in the smart blue suit. Edgeworth: Smart blue suit? I don't think I've ever seen you wear one. A cheap blue suit, on the other hand... Phoenix: There's a badfic right in front of us and you choose to make fun of me? Edgeworth: Yes. And? Quote: "But I love the hat. " She found the aqua hat, with papa stamped in pink with a badge stamped adorable. It stood out to his darker clothes. "Nick, you've matured a lot since we first met. " "Gee thanks," Phoenix chuckled. "So being the master in Kurain must be a huge responsibility huh?" "Yeah, it's hard work, don't get a lot of free time on my hands now. Working with Franziska's the hardest though." Phoenix: What does working with Franziska have to do with being the master? Apollo: I'm... kind of afraid to find out. Quote: Phoenix felt a tint of laughter, "Nice one Maya. Glad to see you're still the Maya I used to know. How's Pearls?" "Well, she's really good. She says she misses you and Trucy." Trucy and Pearl were in the same school for a couple of months, until Trucy had to change schools. He hadn't seen much of Pearl since. "Pearl's got a new cellphone, quite an expensive one. I did have to ask for a donation from Franziska though." "I see," responded Phoenix. Edgeworth: I really can't see Franziska handing out money like that. Trucy: Aw, is Pearls in this fic, too? Phoenix: I really hope not. Quote: "Anyway, I've come to wish you good luck on re-taking your exam." Maya replied. "I would have done it by e-mail, but our computer broke and Franziska lets nobody touch her laptop. Besides, I thought it would be better to wish you good luck in person. I also visited Iris in prison." "I should have visited her last week," admitted Phoenix, "she seems to be doing well. " "Did you hear Nick?" excitement rose in Maya's voice, "Iris is getting released next week." "I thought she got some years left?" "She's getting off early for good behavior." Phoenix: And I guess we can add Iris to the list of people that we really hope aren't in this fic, but probably are. Edgeworth: I'm putting myself on that list, too. Quote: "Does Pearl know about Iris being her half-sister?" Phoenix asked out of curiosity. Two months before losing his badge, Pearl and Iris were involved in a murder case. At the time, Pearl had no idea that she had two half-sisters: Dahlia Hawthorne and Sister Iris. Dahlia was executed but returned from the dead to put Iris in prison. He wasn't surprised that Iris was getting sent free early for good behavior after he found out he had been dating his ex's twin. "I told Pearl about Iris six years ago." Maya replied, "she asked Aunt Morgan about it. Morgan requested to see me, then she slapped me." Phoenix: ...um, how? Isn't Morgan still in prison? Apollo: Don't tell me they took the safety glass out of the visiting room. Trucy: I think the author probably forgot it exists. Quote: "Mad old woman," Phoenix chuckled. "Maya, who's that fool with the foolish hat!" a woman's voice called. A slender dress around her body, blending with her tights. Her body language and sharp and meant business. Nothing had changed about Franziska Von Karma, who marched towards them. A firm grip on her whip, and a cold face. Everything about her was in proportion, as she eight years ago. Her hair gave an aqua shine. Her fierce eyes added to her hard-looking appearance. Franziska looked ready to whip someone right now. Maya jogged up to her, dragging Phoenix's jumper. "Franzy it's Nick! He's retaking his bar exam!" Phoenix grinned. Franziska froze. "You've changed so much Wright," Franziska said, shaking hands with him. "... I hardly recognized you." Phoenix: I haven't changed that much, though! I'm still the same person. Edgeworth: For the last time, yes, you have. Apollo: Am I the only one wondering what "everything about her was in proportion" means? Trucy: No. Quote: "I hope you've been treating Maya well," Phoenix responded, scratching on his aqua hat. "I see you haven't changed one bit, Von Karma." "As you can see," Franziska folded her arms. "I am still the beautiful and perfect prosecutor. Maya Fey is fine. I shall have no problems beating this Justice boy tomorrow." "I wouldn't take your confident too far if I were you," Phoenix warned Franziska. Apollo: I'm doomed, aren't I? Edgeworth & Phoenix: Yes. Quote: "You do not have to worry, Mr. Phoenix Wright," Franziska smiled, "the trial shall go according to plan." Phoenix had no idea what she meant by 'according to plan'. All he knew, was that Apollo was in for some hot whipping. "Anyway Maya," Phoenix asked, "wanna meet Apollo and Trucy?" "Of course," Maya replied clapping her hands. She pulled onto Franziska's blank sleeve, "you should come too, Franzy." "He's just in here work- OOPS!" Phoenix caught them in the act. Apollo and Trucy broke another of their passionate kisses. Trucy gasped and Apollo froze – his hand resting on her waist. Apollo: ...and then they called the police and Trucy and I were arrested and we never discussed this fic again. The end! Quote: "Hi Daddy." Trucy waved. Apollo hid under the desk as soon as he could. "I was just showing Polly a trick, which um... required privacy." "Seems like I caught you in a bad time Apollo," Phoenix admitted. "Sorry for the intrusion." Phoenix: Wait. Something's not right here. Edgeworth: Did you just... buy Trucy's incredibly obvious lie? Apollo: And are you completely letting me get away with kissing your daughter?! Trucy: Who is your half-sister in this fic, remember! Phoenix: ... Quote: "Yes you did, " Apollo snapped burying himself under the desk. "You could have knocked. " "Anyway, Apollo and Trucy, this is Franziska Von Karma and my old assistant Maya Fey. Maya and Franziska, this is my lovely daughter Trucy, and her half-brother, Apollo Justice." Apollo witnessed her trademark whip pondering on the floor. He felt uncomfortable watching her swing the leather about. Apollo was surprised how pretty she was: he was expecting someone large and perhaps hideous. Someone who looked a bit like Wocky's mother. Her facial expressions were a contrast to Maya, who waved to them in glee. Phoenix: Wow. I guess I really am. Edgeworth: This is disturbing. Trucy: So... I guess for this fic, Daddy could be replaced with a cardboard cut-out. Apollo: I think even a cardboard cut-out would be disgusted at walking in on us. Quote: "I love your clothes, Trucy" Maya cheered, "and Apollo your hair rocks, too." At least Maya was kind, thought Apollo. "So this incest loving fool is the lawyer tomorrow?" Franziska asked less than impressed. He wouldn't be shocked if incest was forbidden in Germany. Edgeworth: Why is Franziska the only one bringing it up? Phoenix: And even then it's still an extreme under-reaction! Why isn't she whipping Apollo? Apollo: Please don't wish things like that on me. Trucy: Did no one notice that Polly apparently doesn't know if incest is illegal in German or not? No? Okay. Quote: "It's wincest Miss Pretty-Lady!" Trucy responded back. Apollo considered Trucy lucky to have dodged the firing whip. "That's the man!" Phoenix replied, still amazingly cool about it. Edgeworth: That pun is still awful. Phoenix: I like how the fic points out that my reaction isn't normal. Apollo: I think you're giving the fic too much credit, Mr. Wright. Quote: As if Though Apollo figured he was just doing it because he had guests with him. "I guess I should get some noodles. Wanna join Maya?" "Sure!" Maya accepted his offer without hassle. "By the way, good luck for tomorrow, " Maya told Apollo, "you'll need it." With that, Maya, Phoenix and Franziska left the office, leaving Apollo and Trucy alone again. Phoenix: I think they've already demonstrated that they can't be left alone together. Trucy: Good thing this fic is nothing like real life, right, Daddy? Phoenix: Yes. Very good thing. Apollo: (I don't like the way he's looking at me...) [The lights come back on.] Edgeworth: Well. I'm glad that's over. Speakers: The management would like to inform you that there are still 22 chapters to go. Edgeworth: Nnngh! Trucy: Wait, are we all going to be sporking the next 22 chapters? Speakers: No, there are plans to swap out some of the sporkers. Apollo: Oh, good. Edgeworth: I don't like the usage of the word "some" here... Phoenix: Well, at the very least we have a break between this and chapter three. Come on, Trucy. Apollo: Yeah, let's get out of here. Edgeworth: (There has to be somewhere where Lang's goons can't find me...) [And so our sporkers leave. Thanks to the fact that none of them have a script, they have only gotten the smallest taste of the madness that awaits them. It's funnier that way.] |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 1:04 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
You sure are a fast one. Thoughts while reading: -The spork is a tad long. There were complaints about oversized sporks in the past, so maybe you could put some of it under a spoiler tag? I don't know where other people draw the line at what's a good size or a bad size, but it's about half the current page size, so I'd guess that some might find it too big.. -One thing your introduction reminds me of is the severe lack of good character reaction emoticons in this forum. In the old one, we had a larger selection, and it was easier to find a fitting reaction. Pity we couldn't keep those. -I like your "commenting on descriptive narration" bit. It's a very nice addition to the fourth wall rule. -Seriously, dude, you can't tell pink from slightly blueish red? You need to widen your visual spectrum, my friend. ;) -No plot relevance inside the theater? You are running one strict regime there. Your sporkers are going to love you. -Now "dying in the sporking theater is strictly forbidden", I love this spork already. :D -Ooh, I spy a reference to an older spork. References to older sporks are always great! -I'm actually surprised how relatively relaxed in-theater Phoenix is about Trucy watching herself making out with Apollo. I might be wrong, but I would imagine him trying to distract her or at least pretend what she's seeing is not what is actually happening. He probably wouldn't succeed, but I still think he'd try. But again, I might be wrong. As a side note: I don't want to debate off-topic stuff on this thread, but just as a piece of info, while incest between siblings is still illegal here in Germany, the law forbidding it is a very debated one, and there are movements to legalize it. I assume that it might be changed in the not too distant future. Then again, we are still waiting for a lot of other very debated laws to be changed. As another side note: Since this thread is barely visited (or at least the lack of comments leaves me with that impression), there's really no need to rush your sporks. Take your time. ;) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 1:19 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'll probably end up getting through this relatively fast, TBH. It's summer break right now and I have next to nothing to do. How much should I put underneath a spoiler tag next time? I think I'll stick to the two chapters format, but should I put the whole spork under a spoiler tag, or just the second chapter? Maybe even separate spoiler tags for the two chapters? Although that'd really be overkill, wouldn't it. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 1:57 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I think if you put the second chapter under a spoiler tag, that should be fine. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 10:06 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Law Plus Chaos, part two. I need to get a hobby that doesn't involve making fun of people on the internet. Today's sporkers will be... Hobo Nick! "I'm beginning to wonder if the Management thinks that's my actual name." Maya Fey "I get snacks, right? Right?" Miles Edgeworth "Shocker." The current Management's personal favorite, Franziska von Karma "What? Personal favorite?" "Ahem. The Management would like to request that all sporkers refrain from commenting on their own introduction." [We once again open up in the sporking theatre, which does not appear to have been cleaned since, uh, yesterday. Once again, a more-sober-than-usual Phoenix Wright is already seated, although instead of his daughter, he is with his (former?) assistant, Maya Fey.] Maya: Where are the snacks? They said there would be snacks. Phoenix: The Management is filled with sadists, Maya. You forget that. Maya: Aww. *sits back in seat, pouts* [Miles Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma enter the theatre, the former seething and latter looking almost bored.] Phoenix: I guess I'm the one out of my era this time. Franziska: Is that your excuse for dressing so foolishly? Maya: Aw, it doesn't look that bad. Phoenix: I'm afraid to ask about the emphasis there. Edgeworth: Can we please drop the niceties and get this over with? [Franziska and Edgeworth take their seats and the lights dim.] Quote: "Another rose," Franziska muttered, holding the the petals up to her nose. "The fool's been given them me for five years, and I still haven't found out who." Two years after Maya joined forces with her, she had received various gifts from an anonymous person. Franziska: If it's been five years, I certainly would have found out who has been sending them by now. *whips screen* Speakers: The Management would like to remind Franziska von Karma that damaging the theatre equipment is strictly forbidden. Maya: Wait, why does it say I "joined forces" with Franziska? Quote: The reason she hasn't found out who this person yet, because she simply didn't have the time to be fooling around. They were not related to being a prosecutor, so they were useless to her. She had to constantly remind Maya that they were both very busy women. "Your admirer must be very good at being secret," Maya smirked, passing her the box of chocolates. Maya was the master of her village, and yet she still had a child at heart. Franziska: I would think that at some point over the last five years I would have had a spare half-hour. Edgeworth: You don't think very highly of your "secret admirer", do you? Franziska: They are clearly a cowardly fool. Phoenix: (I think anyone would be wise to keep their distance, though.) Maya: Guys, if I'm the Master now, why am I goofing off with Franziska? I know I'm not the most responsible person in the world, but... Quote: "The fool even knows my favorite chocolate," Franziska stroked the magenta box. "One of these a day will be sufficient, because I put on two ounces this week. I must work that off." "Well, the perfect prosecutor deserves nothing but the best." Maya smiled, clapping her hands. "And since it's only two ounces, you can work that work easily." "Of course Maya Fey." Edgeworth: I don't think you need to concern yourself over two ounces, Franziska. Franziska: I am aware of that. *whips Edgeworth* Edgeworth: Nngh... Maya: Why am I getting along so well with Franziska, though? Phoenix: We don't know, Maya. You probably should stop questioning it. Quote: "So what do you think about Apollo Justice then?" Maya asked. "He looks really nice, especially his hair." "He's simply an incest loving fool," Franziska replied. Her face remained fixed on the mirror, applying mascara on. "As I said before, I shall have no problem beating him in court. " She couldn't see how Maya could find a person into incest cool. Confidence oozed from her posture and voice. Her strong voice showed her German roots. Franziska: What is this about incest? Phoenix: Don't ask me. Edgeworth: We were trying very, very hard to ignore it yesterday. Quote: "You're very confident today Franzy." Maya stepped up behind Franziska. Maya pouted for a few seconds, her fingers tucked behind her hair. "You know, maybe you should take Nick's advice." "I don't need that fool's advice." Franziska mumbled. "I am very sure it will go to plan." Maya: I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to get away with calling her "Franzy", though. Maybe I should try it? Phoenix: I wouldn't- Franziska: *whips Maya* That is for even considering applying Larry Butz's inane nickname to me. Maya: Oww... Quote: "What's this plan though?" Maya asked, rather unsure what she meant. "This is where your foolish behavior comes in handy." "Hey, I'm not fool-" Maya: Well, the fic's right about one thing, at least. Quote: "No time for foolish bickering, Maya Fey." Franziska interrupted, then dug into a cabinet. "Do I always need to remind you that we have very limited free time. So we must work as hard as we can now." Franziska pulled out a medium sized bottle, containing aquamarine liquid. "Here it is," she placed the bottle in Maya's hand. Maya stared with a puzzled look, that transformed into excitement. "Wow vodka!" Maya exclaimed. "Can I have it?" Maya: Wait, actual alcohol in an Ace Attorney fic? Phoenix: But the most we have in the games is grape juice... Speakers: The Management would like to remind Maya Fey and Phoenix Wright that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited. Edgeworth: Where's Kay when you need her? Quote: "Yes. You can drink it if you want." "Aww thanks." "Now the plan, is for you to distract the defense." Franziska said. "Distract them?" Maya asked before gulping the bottle down. "Isn't that a bit unfair?" Phoenix: Yes. Maya: I still don't know why I'm working with Franziska. Franziska: I assure you, Maya Fey, this would never happen in real life. Quote: "No," Franziska replied. "wear something foolish! Foolish enough to distract people. Test it out on Gumshoe if you wish." "Gumshoe rang me today," Maya giggled clapping her hands. "He was really worked up." "What did Scruffy say?" "He told us to kick some ass!" Maya punched her fist in the air as she shouted, "and to give that Kitaki the guilty verdict he deserves. Then went on about how much he must pay for hurting Maggey." Phoenix: Oh, so Maggey was the victim? Maya: Wait, the author killed off Maggey?! Edgeworth: No, it mentioned last chapter that this wasn't a murder trial. Maya: Oh... so, what kind of trial is it? Edgeworth: I'm afraid to find out, actually. Quote: "So do you have anything in mind on what to wear?" Franziska asked Maya, curious to her response. "Foolish eh?" Maya thought to herself. "Well, I know that skimpy clothes can be distracting. Maya: W-Wait, I wouldn't- Nick, make them stop! Phoenix: What am I supposed to do?! Quote: I know!" Maya cried out. "How about a sexy theme? I'll just look in your wardrobe in here, there must be something that's foolish, yet sexy." Maya browsed through Franziska's office wardrobe. Franziska: I would not have any foolish clothes in my personal wardrobe, much less "sexy" clothes! *whips screen* Speakers: The Management would like to remind Franziska von Karma that- Franziska: And how will you stop me?! *whips speakers* Speakers: We ...hmm. We'll think of... something. Phoenix: (Remind me to not be around after they punish Franziska.) Quote: Maya knew that Franziska was always prepared, so she had some of her clothes here for convenience. "Franzy, you're so cool, you're clothes here are amazing. Wow purple fishnet tights!" Edgeworth: ...purple fishnet tights? Phoenix: Purple... fishnet tights... Franziska: *whips Phoenix* Phoenix Wright! You had better not be imagining me in them!! Phoenix: I was not! I swear I was not! Maya: Moving on... Quote: "I'll be making my way to the courtroom now," Franziska announced, collecting her files and her whip. She was secretly offended: her clothes were never foolish. Edgeworth: At least the author has a somewhat passable grasp of Franziska's character, too. Franziska: And how is the author's grasp of your character, little brother? Edgeworth: I'm not in this. Maya: ...yet. Phoenix: And now that Maya's jinxed it, we'll only need to wait. Quote: "But it's not until an hour." "Gives us both time to be ready," hissed Franziska. "Meet me in the prosecution lobby at 8:45 sharp." Phoenix: ...but court doesn't start until 10:00. Right? Franziska: Some of us prefer to be on time, Phoenix Wright. Phoenix: I've never been late to court! Why do you all think I have?! Maya: Because it seems like the kind of thing you'd do, Nick. Phoenix: Thanks, Maya. Edgeworth: Has no one noticed that according to Maya's comment, this chapter must take place around 9:00... and yet Franziska asks Maya to meet her at 8:45? Maya: I guess I finally got that time-manipulating fur coat! Quote: Yesterday was pretty much embarrassing for Apollo. Phoenix didn't say a word to him, nor looked at him in the eye since yesterday. Surely it was related to what he saw him and Trucy. It could have been a lot worse, if he walked on during sex. That would have just been unimaginable. The trail was starting soon, and Wocky was different to when he first saw him. He was much calmer that usual. At the same time, a bitter tone leaked in Wocky's voice. First being betrayed by his fiancée, and now potentially someone else. Phoenix: Wait, what? Maya: I think it was an unannounced transition. Edgeworth: Whatever it was, it certainly makes it difficult to pretend that the last chapter never happened. Quote: "I can't believe Dessie did this to me." Wocky moaned. "She told me she was pregnant, that the baby was mine. My angel and I were gonna be a family, man. She never told me she was already married." Wocky faced the floor, with drained eyes. His arms were folded showing shame. "You'll help me get through, right?" Phoenix: Wait. Dessie? Maya: As in, Dessie DeLite? Franziska & Edgeworth: Who? Phoenix: Somebody who is about to be grossly out-of-character, if this is going where I think it's going... Quote: "Of course we will!" Trucy responded. "Polly will get you out of this mess, right Polly-babes." Maya: P-Polly-babes? What? Franziska: Well, I suppose it isn't the most foolish nickname I have ever seen in a fanfiction. Phoenix: Are you only saying that so that I don't bring up "Francheska"? Franziska: ... *whips Phoenix* Phoenix: OUCH! (Okay, I deserved that...) Quote: "I'll do my best..." Apollo could only say. He put on a brave face, despite being secretly shaky. "You seem a bit shaken," Phoenix muttered. "A-about yesterday..." Phoenix: Never happened. Next question! Quote: "I'll talk about that with you, after the trial." Phoenix breathed, "Von Karma sounds scary, don't she? Trucy was saying you were frightened of her." "Not really..." "Don't worry," Phoenix chuckled, "you don't have to hide anything from me." "You were the one who defeated her in trail for the first time, right?" Apollo asked. "Yes, I was," Phoenix admitted, "she took it very well: she whipped me unconscious." Franziska: Any smart comments, Phoenix Wright, and you will be seeing a repeat performance. Speakers: The Management would like to request that all sporkers remain conscious while in the sporking theatre. Franziska: Oh, shut up! *whips speakers* Speakers: We would also like to inform Franziska von Karma that we remembered about a certain feature of her seat that was installed in a previous sporking. This is your final warning. Quote: "That's awful, Daddy!" cried out Trucy. "You let her do it? She should be fired for that!" "She whips the judge too." He told her daughter, "don't worry Trucy." He placed a hand on her shoulder, "if she even tries to whip you, I'll sort her out." Franziska: I would like to see you try. Maya: You probably shouldn't take her up on that, Nick. Phoenix: Yes, thank you, Maya. Quote: Trucy hugged Phoenix whilst grabbing onto Apollo's hand. Phoenix then turned to him, "Put it to you this way Apollo, If you lose there'll be trouble!" Phoenix told him, "and if you win there'll be double." "Heya!" Maya Fey had burst into the lobby like a bull in a china shop. "Hey Maya," Phoenix responded as Maya banged on his chest. "What are you wearing?" He said it in a rather pleasant tone with a bit of shock. "Franzy told me to wear something foolish," Maya said, "so I did. The sexy theme was my idea." Foolish? More like ridiculously skimpy. The leather skirt just about covered her buttocks. The fish net tights weren't enough to cover the flesh and her top was just as revealing as her magenta jacket. A magenta bra was just about visible. Those mauve high heels dazzled like diamonds. "These shoes are sure a killer to walk in." Maya: Wh- I'm wearing whaaaaaaat?! Phoenix: Sometimes I wish the courtroom actually had a dress code. Franziska: Wait, are these the clothes that Maya Fey got from my wardrobe?! I will not stand for this foolishness!! *whips screen, gets electrocuted by seat* AAAGH! Edgeworth: Maybe we should just move onto the next passage. Quote: Apollo didn't understand why girls walked in shoes when they are unable to walk in them straight. Phoenix: I'm with Apollo here. Maya: Actually, so am I. [Court begins.] Quote: "The prosecution is ready," Franziska interrupted, leaving a smirk across her face. She wagged her finger at Apollo. "The main question is actually is the defense ready?" "What do you mean Miss Von Karma?" "Well," Franziska, "just wondering if his affair with his half-sister is going to effect this trial?" Edgeworth: I still wonder why Franziska is the only one who seems to be having a relatively normal reaction. Franziska: As reprehensible as it is, I doubt it actually has anything to do with the trial. Phoenix: Can we please stop talking about this? Seriously, I'm trying to pretend that the author didn't put my daughter in an incestuous relationship here. Edgeworth: I believe that that relationship forms the backbone of this story, Wright. Phoenix: You don't have to remind me! Quote: "The defense is in fact ready Your Honor," Apollo responded, gritting his teeth. "No need to worry, Miss Von Karma." Why did she have to bring it up on a rape trial? All: ... Edgeworth: A rape trial? There's a reason why we don't do those! Maya: Wait, when it mentioned someone hurting Maggey earlier- Phoenix: Let's really, really not go there, Maya. [Franziska intimidates Apollo, then is asked to give her opening statement.] Quote: "With pleasure," Franziska mouthed before she bowed. Maya passed her some files, but just as she was about to read, Maya fought for the spotlight. "Can I do the opening statement please?" Maya begged. "If the court doesn't find any problem with that?" She gave what seemed to be puppy eyes to the judge. "Usually, it's the prosecutor's job," the judge told her, "but I see your excitement. I see no problems with it since you're in the prosecutor's bench. So your opening statement please, Miss Fey." Maya: But... why am I Franziska's co-counsel? Franziska: That is hardly an open position, Maya Fey. Maya: Well, it's not like I was planning on asking for it. Quote: Just like that, she was allowed to give an opening statement. Franziska smirked and tapped her foot. This seemed to be rather odd to Apollo. He rather hoped that Maya's fashion exposure didn't effect his opinion – or his preformance. Maya the piece of paper back, and read out to the court, "Wocky Kitaki, the defendant visited Mrs. DeLite with the intention of raping her with a sausage." All: ... Edgeworth: No one ask. Maya: A saus- Edgeworth: Don't. It's what the author wants. Quote: "A SAUSAGE?" the judge cried out. His eyes received a wake up call. "What do you mean by sausage?" Apollo had to ask. He wasn't sure weather they mean an actual one or something else. Nothing in the court records mentioned a sausage being involved. He hoped that Maya had misread the paper. Phoenix: So, what kind of drugs was the author on? Any guesses? Franziska: *whips Phoenix* Phoenix: AAGH! Quote: "The ones you get in hot dogs of course," Maya replied in glee. "The sausage was in fact from Mrs. DeLites's freezer. The prostitution and I..." "Did you just say prostitution?" the judge gasped as if his ears were sensitive like baby's skin. "She said prosecution, Your Honor." Franziska responded. Maya: Ha ha, get it? Because "prosecution" sounds like- Phoenix: Maya, again, let's not go there. Quote: "Apologies for interrupting: must be my ears." "I'm sure Maya said Prostitution." Trucy whispered to Apollo. She pouted and mentioned, "the opening doesn't seem to make sense. Like why would Wocky rape someone with sausages? He never mentioned it at all." "She did!" Apollo nodded. "And you're right Trucy, the opening statement makes absolutely no sense at all." It didn't even need telling, it showed. The mere thought of penetrating people with sausages gave an oddly disturbing image. Edgeworth: It's almost like the fic is making fun of itself. Franziska: "Almost" being the operative word here. Edgeworth: Of course. If it were self-aware, that would give it some redeeming feature. Quote: "It would be easier for us then?" Trucy asked him, her pout had vanished. "I'm not sure, Miss Von Karma seems to be using Maya for some sort of wild plan to win this." Franziska: What sort of foolish plan would require the aid of Maya Fey?! *whips screen, gets zapped* ARGH! Maya: Wait. Tell me again why I'm on first-name basis with this Apollo guy? Phoenix: ...that should probably be the least of your concerns, Maya. Quote: "The prosecution and I have have copies of their MSN story. The latest one suggests the defendant and the victim agreed to meet each other at the night of the elder cape. Needles to say..." "Where did needles come from?" Apollo had to interrupt Maya. The opening statement was starting to become hilarious, but it not pleasant for Wocky. Needles never came up during investigation either. A leather thread whacked across Apollo's face and bounced on his shoulder. Edgeworth: That's probably the least threatening description of a whipping I've ever seen. Franziska: *whips Edgeworth* Edgeworth: Gnngk- what was that for?! Franziska: Just checking to see if my whip was still threatening. Quote: "Will you stop interrupting Miss Maya Fey, Mr. Apollo Justice?" demanded Franziska. Those fierce eyes alone showed she meant business. "Needless to say his plans failed!" Maya continued. "When the victim's husband, walked in on them. Poor Ron DeLite alerted the police in a dress. This was where the defendant made his escape wearing nothing but a jacket. Kitaki was arrested for gross indecency. With Bum Delight's call- " "Ron DeLite, May-" "SILENCE!" boomed Franziska, her whip violently caused havoc on Apollo's chest. In a soothing voice she faced Maya and smirked. "Carry on, Maya Fey." "With Ron DeLite's call, Kitaki became charged with rape." Maya sighed as she finished her opening statement. Edgeworth: That was the worst opening statement I've ever seen, for more reasons than the author intended. Phoenix: I'm afraid that the rest of the trial will go this way, too. Edgeworth: Of course it will. Quote: "Hmm DeLite," the judge hummed. "That name rings a bell. And I certainly remember the defendant from a previous case." "Eight years ago," Maya reminded, "Ron DeLite was framed by Luke Atmey for murder." "Yes it is becoming very clear to me now," the judge nodded. "It's impossible to believe that Mrs. DeLite could make this up. They are both obviously devoted to each other. And the court will accept the copy of this MSN conversation as evidence. Although I have no idea what MSN is about." "It's a program where you can send instant messages on the computer." Apollo told him. "Ah it's computer stuff," the judge seemed satisfied with that answer. "That explains it, I am not a computer expert b- OUCH!" Phoenix: At least the Judge-whipping is... somewhat normal. Franziska: Barring Maya Fey's involvement and my under-reaction to the apparent incest, the author still seems to understand my character. For the most part. Phoenix: So, is that better or worse than being a cardboard cut-out? Edgeworth: The more you talk about your characterizations, the more worried I am about what will happen to my own. Maya: At least none of you are dressed like hookers! Quote: "Before we get off topic," Franziska muttered with the whip above her head. "Her cold voice remained soothing. The prosecution would like to call Detective Dick Gumshoe to the stand." "Very well." the judge nodded in agreement. "Does the defense have any objections?" "Before we do," Apollo quickly found an opportunity. "I just want to point out something. This should be plain-fully obvious but the the opening statement made absolutely no sense! I had to interrupt." And another whip hit his shoulder again. Phoenix: On the plus side, Apollo is actually doing his job! Edgeworth: All that means is that we'll have to sit through a completely nonsensical court scene. Phoenix: Eh. Apollo's trials are normally like that. Maya: ...I fear for him. Phoenix: Minus the rape and nonsense from the pro- okay, a different type of nonsense from the prosecutor. Quote: "The court has found some rather strange things today," confessed the judge. "Please Mr. Justice, do explain the flaws of the opening statement." "I think we should hear the the statement again," Apollo suggested, "in a more clearer tone with the right words. The flaws will speak for themselves." Trucy passed him a piece of paper from her pocket. "Kikati visited DeLite with the intention of bringing her a message. Sausages were never mentioned during investigation. The message was placed on DeLite's freezer. By the way Your Honor, your hearing is fine – she did say prostitution. Copies of their MSN history suggests the defendant and Mrs. DeLite agreed to meet each other on the night of the alleged rape. Needless to say, things went wrong. The Mr. DeLite, walked in on them and called the police in distress. Kitaki escaped before Mr. DeLite called the police, just when he was arrested for gross indecency. He was later arrested for rape at the police station." All: ... Franziska: ...did the defense attorney just give the opening statement? Edgeworth: I really don't think that's what you should be focusing on, Franziska. Quote: "You fools," Franziska muttered. Apollo had never such heard a stronger German accent from a woman. "At least appreciate Maya Fey's efforts. She has got a bad case of dyslexia." Maya: What? No I don't. Franziska: Why would I let a dyslexic assist me in court? Or anyone, for that matter! *whips screen, zap!* Aaaaah! Quote: "So what did the note say?" asked the judge. Obviously ignoring the fact the trail was going shaky. "The note said bring on the boobs," Apollo stuttered, "SORRY, I mean booze." Just as expected, a sharp slap by the whip landed on his chest. Edgeworth: *sigh* This is an incompetent trial, even for a questionable fanfic. Phoenix: At least it's not as bad as some of the others we've seen. Quote: "Serves you right, Apollo Justice," Franziska giggled without any remorse. She turned to face the judge, "I would also like the point during the defendant's arrest he was very rude to the police officer and offended his wife." "Unforgivable!" Maya snapped. An uncomfortable silence arouse in the courtroom. Unimpressed faces seemed to be aimed at Maya. Franziska was tempted to whip every single one in the court room until they begged on their knees, yearning for sheer forgiveness. Edgeworth: Hm. ...that appears to be the end of the chapter. Maya: Who ends a chapter like that? That's not so much an ending as it is... just stopping their writing there. Franziska: If that is the end of the chapter, are we done here? Phoenix: No, apparently we're doing this two at a time. Spoiler: The next chapter begins. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Jul 09, 2014 4:47 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I just remembered about Franziska von Karma: Ace Grammar Nazi. Ugh. I'll be sure to include that the next time I have Franziska in the theatre. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Wed Jul 09, 2014 8:49 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Once again, thoughts while reading: -Dude, you're so strict. Now the poor sporkers aren't allowed their intro reactions? Poor things. ^^ -And if you're not allowing Franziska to damage the theater, you should probably take her whip from her before she enters the theater. Just talking from experience here, she's shown little respect for our interior in the past. Unless you can think of an effective punishment to control her? -Jesus, Franziska is in a really whip-happy mood today, huh? I pity her fellow sporkers. -I wish we still had Asa around to draw us Franziska in purple fishnet tights. Just think what that must look like! -Ooh, electrocuting device, nice. >:D But still, it might be easier to just take the whip away from Franziska next time. -Oh, don't rely on the sporkers to nicely stay in the theater. You have to prevent them from leaving. If the doors are broken again, try placing some guards or maybe a trap or two, as long as it leaves them still able to spork. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Jul 10, 2014 10:25 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Did you know there's a case on AAO called Turnabout Sex Missile and it's basically the craziest thing ever? Because I sure didn't until last night! Anyway, enough small talk. Law Plus Chaos, part three. Today's sporkers are... Hobo Nick! "...are we allowed to comment on our introductions again?" Maya Fey! "I smell popcorn." Apollo Justice! "I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN HERE!!" and Miles Edgeworth! "I'm going to be in the entire sporking, won't I? I'm not even in this fic yet!" [We open up, as is expected, in our sporking theatre, where today's sporkers are already seated. Maya Fey has been given a single bag of popcorn, which she has already finished. Phoenix Wright has brought Apollo Justice up to speed on what happened in the last two chapters. Miles Edgeworth is Apollo: ...and the author thought this was a good idea because...? Phoenix: If I could look into the author's mind, do you really think we'd still be here? Maya: Do you think they'll give me another bag of popcorn when the fic starts? Edgeworth: That seems unlikely. [The lights dim.] Maya: Come onnnnnn, popcorn! Gimme popcorn! [Maya Fey does not receive popcorn.] Maya: This place sucks. Edgeworth: You're only now coming to that conclusion? Quote: "Despite this shaky start," the Judge killed the silence that dominated. "Witness step forward please?" A tall beefy man took to the stand, with raven hair and scruffy coat. An instant look of disdain on his face occurred the moment he laid his eyes on Wocky. His teeth gritted a seething breath. The whip whacking his shoulder made him return to his senses. Phoenix: I take it this is Gumshoe. Edgeworth: Who on earth associates the phrase "raven hair" with Detective Gumshoe? Quote: "Your name and occupation please, Scruffy?" Franziska asked. "I know the drill pal," Gumshoe nodded. "It's Detective Dick Gumshoe." "And you solemnly swear the evidence you shall give, shall be the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" "I sure do, pal." Apollo: When have we ever done that in our courts? Edgeworth: Never. Phoenix: Maybe that's why no one ever gets arrested for perjury? Quote: "Mr. Gumshoe," the judge said. "Congratulations to you and your wife for new your baby boy." "Thanks, I named him Copper, pal." "What a fine name that is." Maya: That's actually a pretty cute name for Gumshoe's son. Although the idea of Gumshoe being a father kind of worries me. Edgeworth: If Wright can be a semi-decent father, so can Detective Gumshoe. Phoenix: Hey! Maya: I meant more along the lines of being too poor to afford anything for his kid. Quote: "Copper-Pal is a cute name," Trucy whispered to Apollo. "If you say so," Apollo said, despite thinking it was a weird name. Phoenix: Trucy is definitely smart enough to pick up on the fact that "pal" isn't an actual part of the name. Apollo: So am I, for that matter. Where is Trucy, anyway? Phoenix: I asked Edgeworth to tell Kay to convince the management to keep her out of this sporking from now on. Apollo: ...I see. How did that go? Edgeworth: I have no idea what Kay did, but as you can see, Trucy is not here. Maya: It probably won't last, though. Phoenix: Shh, Maya. Let me hope. Quote: Franziska stepped in, "Mrs. Maggey Gumshoe is still in maternity. So Scruffy will have to give his testimony and leave." "Objection!" Apollo shouted. "How am I suppose to cross-examine the witness when he's not here?" "Both the prosecution and the defense has raised good points," the judge hummed. Edgeworth: The cross-examination shouldn't take too long. There's no real reason for him to leave so early. Maya: You really are a slave-driver, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: Gnngh. Quote: "You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you. You feel like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much..." "I think that's Klavier's voice!" Trucy whispered to Apollo. "I wonder who he's singing it to?" The courtroom turned silent, as a melody of a man invaded the court's proceedings. Apollo: ...w-what? Phoenix: He wasn't in this trial until a moment ago, right? Edgeworth: You've been here as long as I have, Wright. Phoenix: Well, this trial is insane enough already that I could have missed it. Quote: Turning around they found no trace of anyone singing. Soft music echoed in the courtroom as the man continued to sing in a sweet tone. "Maybe he's singing it to Ema?" "He could have chosen a better time than this," Apollo grumbled. Apollo: Is he... interrupting a trial by singing over the PA? (And why does that seem like something he'd do?!) Maya: Why exactly does Trucy assume he's singing to Ema, anyway? Edgeworth: Most likely she's serving as a mouthpiece for the author's ships. Quote: Klavier had indeed tumbled down from the ceiling. Bleached blond locks swayed to one side, dressed in jet black and attached to chains. "At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive." Klavier flew his way over to a brunette dressed in white cloak, who was nibbling on her snack of choice. Most of them known her as Ema Skye. Phoenix: Others, however, knew her as- Apollo: Did Prosecutor Gavin just come down from the ceiling?! Edgeworth: What on earth is he attaching the chains to? Maya: Maybe they're left over from the time Max Galactica wanted Nick to "dancingly descend" into court? Edgeworth: ...I beg your pardon? Phoenix: (Yeah, thanks for letting me finish my joke, Apollo.) Quote: "You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you." He winked at her and blew her a kiss. Ema munched away, trying to avoid Klavier in whichever way possible. That didn't stop Klavier: he only just started. Apollo: So at what point does Ema just punch him? Maya: It'd be funny if he got punched, and that makes him go flying, but he's still attached to the chains so he starts swinging around the courtroom- Phoenix: That's enough, Maya. Maya: ...and then hits the Judge in the face on accident and gets a penalty. Apollo: (I'd pay to see that, actually.) Quote: As the music started, the judge and Maya both tapped their feet. Klavier clipped a spare harness on her belt and his fingers rested on her hips. He then held her into her chest and moved around the courtroom with Ema dropping her bag. "I love you, baby, and if it's quite all right, I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night. I love you, baby. Trust in me when I say..." Edgeworth: ...wasn't it just stated that Ema was trying to avoid him? Apollo: So... not only is Prosecutor Gavin interrupting a trial in order to swing around from the ceiling, but he's also... sexually harassing Ema? Phoenix: Looks like it. Apollo: Why doesn't she just punch him?! Maya: And why doesn't Franziska just whip him?! Seriously, she's right there! Edgeworth: Yes, Franziska would never let anyone interrupt her trial, especially like this. Quote: The judge had to duck under his seat, and some of the people watching the court had to be weary too. Phoenix: We're weary already. Maya: It's just a typo, Nick. Phoenix: I know! I was trying to make a joke! Apollo: At least it wasn't a pun... Quote: Apollo and Trucy bent down, just in case. Franziska froze trying to act professional. A contrast to Maya, who clapped her hands. Ema's face of shock was visable to everyone. She tried hard not to scream. Maya: Punch him! Punch him! Edgeworth: I think that at this point, she'd probably get dropped if she punched him. Maya: Punch him anyway and make him pay the medical bills! Quote: "Oh, pretty baby, Don't bring me down, I pray. Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay and let me love you, baby. Let me love you." Klavier shamelessly kissed Ema with passion, not caring if there was at around thirty people in the room. Everyone stood up for an applause, apart from Franziska and Apollo. Klavier was fortunate enough to dodge three whipping attempts from Franziska until the fourth vibrated the chains on his belt. Meanwhile Maya nibbled on some snackeroos, which fell on Franziska's hair. Maya: Oh, now she starts whipping him. Edgeworth: This is definitely sexual harassment. Phoenix: Well, I guess it could be ambiguous. Once Klavier picked her up, the only emotion Ema is described with is "shock". So I guess she could be enjoying it? Edgeworth: That seems extremely unlikely. Apollo: Also, they're called Snackoos, not "snackeroos". Phoenix: I really don't think that's the issue here, Apollo. Quote: "What a lovely love confession," the judge smiled as he applauded the blonde prosecutor. "Danke Herr Judge. It was Fräulein Fey's idea – she said you all needed some cheering up." "OBJECTION! Franziska snapped. "Klavier Gavin has just interrupted our trial in the most foolish way possible." Edgeworth: And in this fanfic, the voice of reason will be played by Franziska von Karma. Phoenix: Fifty bucks she does something incredibly stupid by the end of the fic - no, the end of the chapter. Edgeworth: Don't drag me into your gambling, Wright. Maya: You're on, Nick! Phoenix: No way. If you lose, you'll borrow money from me to pay me off anyway. Quote: "I'll let you off this time Gavin," the judge told the rock-loving prosecutor. "Do it again, and I'll no choice but to give you a penalty." "That's fine my me Herr Judge." "Bailiff help remove Mr. Gavin and Miss Skye out immediately" Apollo: ...the Judge is taking this awfully well. Phoenix: Well, stranger things have happened in his court, at least. Quote: "The next person to interrupt this court of holy judgment shall feel the wrath of my whip!" Franziska threatened them, with violent whip lashing about just like how Maya entered the defense lobby with what she was wearing. Apollo gulped, knowing that she was looking for an excuse to whip him. Edgeworth: I don't think she needs an excuse. Apollo: Did I mention how glad I am that she's not here right now? Quote: That was the least of his worries, Maya looked as her breasts were going to be exposed. He couldn't help it – they were right in front of him. Maya: A-APOLLO!! Apollo: No! Not me! Fic-me!! Quote: In a shockingly soft voice Franziska said, "now, you better testify, before you get interrupted again, Scruffy. HOLD IT! Mr. Apollo Justice you disgusting fool," Franziska mumbled, whipping him to show her outrage. Her tone became soft and bitter, "ogling Maya Fey and Trucy Wright at the same time, you disgusting foolish pervert." Phoenix: Apollo! Apollo: THAT'S NOT ME UP THERE! Quote: "I wasn't do-" Apollo shrieked out in a raspy voice trying to explain. But no reason would ever be enough. He feared her angry pose. "A fool who doesn't think is more foolish than a fool who foolishly thinks!" barked Franziska. "Quit using the word fool," slipped out of Apollo. "I refuse to accept orders from you Apollo Justice!" The whip caused havoc on the prosecution stand, and Maya was lucky not to get hurt. Edgeworth: I'm surprised she didn't whip him directly. Phoenix: I guess we were wrong about the author having a passable grasp of Franziska's character. Apollo: Of all the things for her to be out-of-character on, whipping fic-me is probably the least worst. Maya: I dunno. Your "getting hit by a whip" face is pretty funny. Apollo: M-Ms. Fey! (I should have know that Mr. Wright's old assistant would be a psychopath.) Quote: "Would the prosecution and the defense please leave their personal issues outside my court?" the judge requested. Maya: When has that ever happened? It feels like half our trials are all about Nick and Edgeworth's personal issues. Phoenix & Edgeworth: Shut up, Maya. Maya: It's true, though. You can't hide from the truth! Apollo: (Now I wish I could have seen some of those trials.) Quote: "Mr. Gumshoe, please testify about the arrest." "Okay," Gumshoe started. "My wife went into labor, so I drove her to the hospital. I saw Wocky tied up on a tree, wearing nothing but a jacket. I didn't do anything about cause all I thought about was Maggey and the baby. After Maggey went to hospital, I went down at the scene and arrested him for gross indecency. He was charged with rape at the police station." "I'm curious about one thing," Trucy told Apollo. "Maya used to be Daddy's assistant, and I'm wondering why she would want to join sides with Miss Von Karma?" Apollo: How is that relevant? Maya: I dunno, but I'd like to know that myself. Phoenix: More to the point, Gumshoe is being awfully dedicated here. He left his wife in childbirth in order to go arrest someone. Maya: He definitely deserves a pay raise for that, right, Edgeworth? Edgeworth: I am not about to increase Detective Gumshoe's salary based off of something a fictional version of him did. Phoenix: (I'm pretty sure you've cut his pay over some of the things fictional versions of him did, though.) [Apollo cross-examines Gumshoe. According to him, Wocky and Dessie had some sort of sex, and then Ron tied Wocky to a tree and left.] Quote: "You also mentioned Wocky Kitaki offended you deeply," Franziska added. "Sure!" Gumshoe snapped. "He was damn right rude! He kicked me, punched me and called my wife fat! That's unforgivable." "Hold it, how could he have called your wife fat?" Apollo asked. "A picture of my wife last week," Gumshoe replied, he showed the photo of a pregnant brunette in glasses. "It fell out my pocket and in these exact words, the defendant said: 'EW Who dat fat mother fucker, oink oink oink oink?' I arrested him straight after that." All: ... Apollo: ...Wocky doesn't talk like that. Edgeworth: For that matter, neither does Detective Gumshoe. Quote: "Wocky was drunk at the time," Apollo stated reading through some files. From the way it looked, it seemed that Gumshoe only arrested him for offending Maggey. Maya: I was gonna comment on that, but now I'm glad I didn't. Edgeworth: I suppose this fic could be capable of moments of self-awareness. Phoenix: They're rare, though. Edgeworth: Oh yes. They definitely are. Quote: "I could smell it off him a few feet way," Gumshoe admitted. "Must have had a thousand units of alcohol!" "Mr. Gumshoe..." Apollo became sort of scared about what Gumshoe had just said, "a thousand units of alcohol can kill you." "Indeed it can," the judge said playing with his gavel. "Of course the defendant's words were out of order. The court will accept the traces of seaman and clothes as part of evidence. And I think Gumshoe, you will be wanting to head back. We may need you later but for now, you may go." Apollo: "Traces of seaman"? What? Maya: Obviously they found signs that a sailor had been there. Phoenix: I'm afraid to ask what kind of signs those would be. Maya: Um, it smells like brine? And he left a seagull there. Phoenix: One that escaped the werewolf? Apollo: What? Maya & Phoenix: Nothing. Quote: "We shall call the victim herself, Desirée DeLite to the stand." Franziska oozed in self confidence and her image of perfection. Desirée DeLite, was a beautiful blonde in a shimmering biker's suit. Nerves had settled into her face. She took to the stand and seemed rather horrified. Franziska stared at her, as she said, "witness, state your name and occupation." "I'm Desirée DeLite," she sweetly responded, "and I'm a motorcycle rider." Apollo: What kind of occupation is that? Quote: "What kind of an occupation is that?" Apollo muttered quietly, but enough for Trucy to hear. Apollo: ... Phoenix: And for your next trick, you should predict how this fic ends so we can get out of here! Apollo: At this point, I'm not even sure I want to know. [The prosecution and witness make small-talk. Okay, not exactly, but there's really nothing going on at all.] Quote: Trucy gasped out loud, bounced onto Apollo as they both landed on the ground at the same time Franziska's whip of fury lashed on the defense bench. The judge fell off his chair in shock and it started to get chatty again. The elderly judge returned to his throne and banged the gavel down. The next bang of the gavel happened just as Apollo and Trucy got up. One final crash with the gavel and everyone was paying attention. Apollo: Did I even do anything to deserve that...? Edgeworth: You clearly lack experience with Franziska. Quote: "Sorry Polly," Trucy whispered in his ear. "I'm not letting Miss Von Karma whip you like that!" The judge's eyes had widened and his lips became slippery. "T-the court shall take a break for half an hour." The gavel strikes once again, and then the judge fainted. Maya: Um, why? Because Franziska whipped somebody? Phoenix: You'd think he'd be used to that by now. Edgeworth: This is the end of the chapter. I believe the author merely needed a reason to break. Spoiler: The second chapter begins playing. |
Author: | Saresa [ Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:11 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Umm... even if fic!Apollo did prove that Wocky and Desirée were in a relationship, it wouldn't make him immune to being accused of rape. The trial part (the fic, not the sporking) was incredibly painful for me to read because of that... Anyway, hello everyone! This is my first time here in the forums, and I found this thread some days ago. I'm loving the sporkings until now, please keep up the good work! Spoiler: The Bet This is my absolute favorite moment. Great job, Nevertalk! Also, while browsing the fanart, I found this picture. I can't find the sporking it refers to, and I'm afraid to read the original since I had bad experiences with Truth or Dare fics in the past. If someone can find it, thank you! EDIT: I found it. This is pure epicness. |
Author: | Cesar Zero [ Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Hi there! I have been reading the sporkings for a while now,but this is the first time posting in this thread. Nice job with that sporking,Airey!.But isn't the fic 42 chapters long?(I have not actually read the fic,I only looked at the number of chapters)Also,I think Phoenix was to calm during the second chapter. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:11 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Hi, saresa and cesar! Nice to see some more people on this thread. :) @Airey: Y'know, now that it was mentioned... you aren't going to spork over 40 chapters in a row, are you? I feel a bit troubled about that if you intend to do so, because for one, qith your pace it could quickly get too much to read for the less frequent readers of this thread, plus it would be a huge block of continuous sporkings that would make it hard for others to throw in sporks they write (assuming there still are or will be other spork writers). While you are a good sporker and I enjoy reading what you write, I don't really know if writing 20 or more episodes on the same fic is a good idea, especially since the chapters are so long. It gets hard to remember everything that happened, and since the fic's writer and style are always the same, it could get repetitive and/or boring after a while. Then again, it's hard to find short sporkable fics these days... Other opinions, maybe? New guys? Rubia? (Is Rubia even still reading here?) Now, let me read your most recent sporking... Thoughts while reading: -Might be just me, but Maya saying "you really are a slave-driver, Edgeworth" seems kind of weird. Is she just extra sassy today because she didn't get a popcorn refill? -Why is fic Klavier singing a cheezy song from the 60s? O.o -Swinging Klavier after being punched by Ema is a pretty funny idea. ^^ -Hmm, sorry, but Edgeworth telling Maya to "shut up" seems out of character to me. As does Maya continually calling Edgeworth "Edgeworth". *shrugs* -Ooh, thanks for referencing my spork. :D -I think we didn't use the truth bar in a while. Nice to have it back. -However, do keep in mind though that Edgeworth can and does point out contradictions without being effected. (I'm not 100% sure about what sets his truth bar off and what doesn't. The games are very inconsistent with it. I wish there were some established rules for details like this that we could cust look up.) The last fic that managed to knock him out was reeeaaally bad. If we make him too sensitive, it could quickly get overused, and could also leave him unable to comment on the fic in question, rendering him useless. -Wait, do you mean to tell me that in the US, you can tie a guy to a tree and sell it off as self defense? That would totally be illegal restraint or at least some type of assault over here, since only immediate reactions count as self defense, not planned out actions after the immediate danger is over. -lol @street cake. XD -Oh dear, more pairings? That sounds bad. ^^ |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
24 chapters, actually. Since I'm planning on sticking to the two-chapters-at-a-time format, there's only nine more posts in this fic. I intend to go straight through since that's how I usually do things, so I sincerely hope other people will start posting their own sporks in order to break up the potential tedium. Edit: And the truth-bar thing was in response to his "reasoning" in the fic being so terrible it was affecting him in the sporking theatre. After that chapter, the fic pretty much (spoilers!) drops that entire plotline, so it won't really come up again. Other edit: Also I could have sworn Maya's called him "Edgeworth" in-canon at least a couple times? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sun Jul 13, 2014 6:28 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I think she did on one or two occasions which I don't remember the context of (I would assume she was being hostile or overly casual at the time), but she generally calls him "Mr. Edgeworth", as they're not close. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Jul 13, 2014 6:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Next sporking probably won't be uploaded until at least tomorrow. I still haven't decided which characters to use (since the next chapter is a very special one) and I have other things to work on anyway. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:11 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Take your time. As for characters, so far I like your take on Apollo best. So if you will use him again, I'll be happy. ^^ |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Jul 14, 2014 9:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Other opinions, maybe? New guys? Rubia? (Is Rubia even still reading here?) Oops. I knew I forgot something. I've just caught up, and I'm going to subscribe to this thread. (Why I didn't do that earlier, I dunno.) I have to say, Airey, I'm impressed. Your sporkers aren't too out-of-character either, though I agree you're best with Apollo and Trucy. Maya and Edgeworth are just fine. I really enjoyed the bits with the truth-bar; makes me giggle every time. Franziska could have been written a bit better. She's one of the more frustrating characters to write because it's easy to flanderize her whipping frequency and on occasion, her use of "fool", but thankfully, she didn't lose it too many times. Granted, she could have added in a few quips about grammar, spelling, and punctuation. By the way, (and this is a minor complaint to most of those who've done a sporking) I often mix up HoboNick with his younger self when I'm reading these sporks. There is a thin line between how he should or shouldn't be written, but I would expect HoboNick to be just a little more mature than the other version. Consequently, his witty remarks should be written with a little more age to them. It's hard for me to explain it exactly, but it's more about the underlying tone to his remarks. They should be just a little more cynical and a little less excitable. The moments when he goes papa-wolf, though, are pretty solid regardless. It's not the most accurate way to describe him actually, but it's more interesting this way. Since this is Edgeworth from the trilogy and not himself from DD, he gets away with his level of temperament. I always picture Maya and Franzy to be as themselves regardless of age, though. And we are totally cool with characters seemingly changing age via food or drink or stress, if you want to take that route. I also like the management's new level of strictness. These characters are becoming more and more reckless, so it's only natural they increase security measures. But as Pessimistic mentioned, rather than electrocute anyone who's out of line, just disarm them ...I guess I should comment on the fic, but uh, I think I've lost some brain cells reading it, so I don't know what to think anymore. All I can say is that there are good crack fics, and then there are these crack fics. And I'll leave this post with a final opinion. I'd like to see a little more diversity to the sporker characters: Gumshoe, Pearl, Larry, Mia; Klavier and Ema; Athena, Juniper, Simon, Fulbright. DD's been out long enough. We don't need to shy away from them. If anyone's looking for DD character smilies, I think Mijumaru (SuperAJ3) has a collection somewhere. Good luck, future sporkers. Airey, keep up the good work. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Jul 14, 2014 9:32 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Rubia: I was actually vaguely planning on using DD characters in the last few chapters of this fic. Mainly because someone posted a review in-character as Simon Blackquill and everyone needs to see it. The struggle to get Edgeworth in-character continues! At least I can write Apollo. Law Plus Chaos, part four. Today's sporkers were chosen by my older brother. Miles Edgeworth! "This had better not be a repeat of the last chapter." Apollo Justice! "What do you mean 'people like me'? I'll be stuck in here forever!" Maya Fey! "Wait a minute. Where's Nick!?" Franziska von Karma! "This time I will make sure the author pays for every misspelled word." aaaaaaand... Godot! "*sips coffee*" [We open in our sporking theatre. Apollo Justice and Maya Fey are already seated, although the latter is looking around impatiently.] Apollo: What are you looking for, Ms. Fey? Maya: Nick! Where is he? Isn't he supposed to be here? I thought he usually gets here before you. Apollo: Oh. Mr. Wright isn't coming in today. Maya: Wait, so he's abandoning me? Apollo: ...well, I wouldn't put it that way. [Their conversation is interrupted by Miles Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma entering the theatre. Franziska's whip has been confiscated this time.] Franziska: Those foolish fools in the Management- Edgeworth: I, for one, am grateful. *takes his seat* Franziska: *glares, takes her seat* Apollo: Uh, hi, Ms. von Karma. Franziska: Good afternoon, Apollo Justice. Maya: I heard we were supposed to have five today. Edgeworth: Yes. ...I thought the fifth person was Franziska, though. Where is Wright? [The doors to the sporking theatre open briefly, and the fifth person is escorted in by guards: Godot, also known as Diego Armando, in a prison uniform and with a cup of coffee. He takes his seat next to Maya, and the guards leave.] Godot: Ha...! It's been quite a while since I've been in here. *sips coffee* Apollo: Ah! I-It's Mr. Godot! Godot: Why don't you call me Diego Armando, kid? Apollo: O-Of course, Mr. G- Armando. (Don't call me "kid", though. Seriously?) [The lights dim, and the fic begins playing.] Quote: It was dreadful mistake. She loved it, she told she loved it, she was begging for more. Godot: So what's going on in this fic? Edgeworth: To be perfectly honest, we really don't know. Franziska: Missing pronouns. Quote: If it was someone like Klavier Gavin as the prosecutor, he would have had a better chance of getting out free. Franziska Von Karma was vicious. His world had been turned upside down. All the whipping made him nauseous and sharp pain in his skin made him uncomfortable. One thing Wocky knew about Franziska: he wasn't scared of her! Franziska: Then he is a foolish fool and will pay for his foolhardiness. Maya: Look on the bright side. Now that the court scene's over, we probably won't be in the fic anymore, right? Godot: Must you hide the bitterness of the truth, Maya? *sips coffee* Your optimism will only amount to cream and sugar in the end. Apollo: (...whatever that means.) On the other hand, it looks like Prosecutor Gavin is about to get a lot more screentime. Maya: At least it makes sense for him to be behind the prosecution's bench. [Wocky is in prison.] Quote: "Zvarri!" A man's voice startled Wocky. He turned around and saw a tall looking man, with black hair and a blonde fringe shaped as a thunderbolt and a magnifying glass on his right eye. Wocky said hi as he waved it him. "Once again the truth has been elegantly been revealed: an aspiring gangster. Wrongly convicted of rape, am I wrong? Maya: Oh, look, it's Luke Atmey! Godot: The only way that man could have figured out what this Wocky boy was convicted for was if the prison made them wear signs around their necks stating their crime. Maya: So they don't do that? Godot: ...no. *sips coffee* Quote: Now allow me to do every gentlemen's duty and introduce myself. The name is Atmey, Luke Atmey. Before being swept into this cell, I was an ace detective surrounded by envy." "You should have been the judge for that trial," Wocky said. No wonder he called himself a genius; he was simply amazing. "Anyway, the name's Wocky Kitaki." Apollo: Ms. Fey, you obviously know this guy. What was he arrested for? Maya: Murder. Edgeworth: Such is the case with everything you and Wright work on. Quote: "I have heard quite a bit about your current case," Luke admitted. Franziska: ...then his "deduction" of Wocky Kitaki's crime is hardly that. Maya: Yeah, that's usually how it goes with him. Quote: He was carefully wiping his magnifying glass. "In fact, I know the DeLites quite well." "You know them? Are they like your buddies or something?" Wocky crossed his arms, sitting on the bench next to Luke. "Ron DeLite, also known as Mask DeMasque. I prefer to call him Sir Thief." Franziska: And that is hardly an appropriate response to a yes-or-no question. Edgeworth: At least this conversation makes more sense than the one in the first chapter. Quote: "Yeah, my lawyer dude Apollo mentioned he stole stuff." Wocky had his arms crossed. "He said something about him being an escort too." "Ron DeLite is a man who will do anything for love," Luke announced. "He would risk certain death and travel to planet Mars in order to keep his wife happy. I believe his wife manipulated him." Maya: ...I don't think the author likes Dessie. Apollo: She'll probably die by the end of the fic. Maya: Would you be willing to bet money on that? Godot: Don't do it, Red. She never has any money. Apollo: Yeah, I kind of figured that out by now. ...wait, "Red"? Maya: ...I thought you couldn't see red, Mr. Armando. Godot: I can't. *sips coffee* But he looks horrible in white, so I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Apollo: (Yeah, thanks.) Quote: "Hello gorgeous," said the man approaching Luke. He appeared to be a bad ass brunette with scars around his face, brown hair all over the place and was wearing gloves and a red leather jacket. He wrapped his arm around Luke and kissed his cheek like an old best friend. Wocky thought he saw the guy on TV before; an actor if he could recall correctly. All: ... Edgeworth: Is that... Matt Engarde? Franziska: More to the point, "bad ass" is usually either hyphenated or used as one word. Edgeworth: I really don't that that's more to the point, Franziska. Quote: "So you've finally decided to wake up, Matt," said Luke who was trying to straighten up his hair. "Matt my dear, meet Wocky Kitaki. Wocky, this is my my lover, Matt Engarde." Edgeworth: ...so it really is Matt Engarde. Maya: Matt Engarde is lovers with Luke Atmey?! Apollo: What? Maya: What is wrong with the author?! Franziska: Many things, evidently. Godot: *sips coffee amusedly* Quote: "Hello there," Matt greeted Wocky by flashing a glass of brandy. "Weren't you on TV once?" "Indeed!" "You're just in time," Luke told Matt. "I am in the middle of plotting an extravagant escape route for Sir Wocky." "You're helping him escape and not me?" Matt gritted his teeth. Edgeworth: ...but, if Engarde left prison, he would be killed by Shelly de Killer. Why would he want to escape? Maya: Maybe Shelly de Killer died in this fic and it just hasn't been mentioned yet? Franziska: Or perhaps he has been caught. Edgeworth: I remember the last chapter. I honestly do not think the author could have thought that far ahead. Quote: "Matt, I have told you this many times before," Luke gently stroked the scars on his face. "When we escape, it will be together. All three of us, may appear to be too different, but I believe we all have a lot in common. The three of us are travelers of time and space and swimmers of dreams." Godot: That makes no sense. Maya: You're one to talk. Godot: *sips coffee* Quote: "Are you gonna say you're an ace poet too?" Wocky asked. The way Luke spoke was as if he was a poet. He wouldn't be surprised if he claimed to be an ace lover. "Zvarri! You are correct Sir Wocky," Luke exclaimed. Franziska: There should be a comma there. Quote: "Hey Wocky!" It was the prison officer, Larry's voice. He heard about him being madly in love with his ex-fiancée, Alita. It wasn't his problem: it was Larry's funeral. He caution him about Alita if he decides he's cool enough. Franziska: "He caution him"? ...what I wouldn't give to have my whip right now... Apollo: (And what I wouldn't give to make sure you don't get it back...) Quote: "Sup Larry?" Wocky replied as he got on his feet. "You got an adorable visitor," Larry shouted across the cell. "It's Pearly, your online friend." Maya: ...Pearly's been making friends with prisoners online? Godot: I think the fic means that she's been friends with him since before he got arrested. Maya: Pearly's been making friends with gangstas online? Apollo: If it makes you feel any better, Ms. Fey, Wocky's basically harmless. Quote: "I better go then," Wocky replied. "See you dudes later." Wocky approached Larry who lead him into the visitor's room. In front of him was Pearl, she was at the trial but remained quiet. "That you Pearly?" Wocky was amazed that he never seen her in real life, Edgeworth: If he's never seen her in real life, how did he know she'd been at the trial? Shouldn't he have seen her then? Godot: Shouldn't you save the contradiction-finding for court? Edgeworth: It's not my fault the fic's filled with them. Quote: but she was meeting his online friend, Pearl Fey. In fact, he was planning on stealing his dad's car to drive to Kurian and visit Pearl. Maya: ...or he could just take the train. Franziska: No. That would make too much sense. [Wocky and Pearl make small talk. Wocky asks how Pearl's doing.] Quote: "I'm sad." Pearl's words seemed so true, as tears seemed to fall down her face. "Hey what's up?" Wocky put his hand out against the glass wall. Franziska: She is clearly upset that her fool of a friend is in prison. Apollo: In the author's defense, Wocky isn't the best at reading people. Edgeworth: I think the author's already demonstrated that any instances of people being in-character is completely on accident. Maya: You're still bitter about chapter six, aren't you? Edgeworth: Extremely. Godot: Well, we could all use a little bitterness. *sips coffee* Quote: "I was out to visit my mother yesterday," Pearl told Wocky as she faced the floor. "Mystic Maya stopped me, telling me that she killed herself. And I went to check myself and they told me it was true. Sorry I couldn't help you last week." Maya: Wait, Aunt Morgan killed herself? Godot: Good riddance. Quote: "Hey no big deal," Wocky accepted her kind apology. Franziska: If there is some sort of disease that leads to a chronic deficiency in commas, this foolish fool has clearly foolishly caught it. Edgeworth: How would you even catch a disease like that? Maya: Maybe... writing too much bad fanfiction? Franziska: Well, I suppose the author must write what they know. Quote: "Miss Franzy was mean to you," Pearl said. "She's the reason I couldn't testify. I wanted to, but she made Mystic Maya tell me not to." "I ain't scared of her mother-fucking ass," Wocky snapped. "I don't care if she's a woman, I'll knock the whipping chick out cause she ain't no lady." Franziska: *growls* I would like to see him try. Apollo: (I hope Ms. von Karma remembers that this is only fictional by the time she gets her whip back.) Quote: Pearl couldn't help but giggle and grin with Wocky. Maya: No! Pearly shouldn't be around that kind of language! Godot: And that is why she's not in the sporking theatre with us. *sips coffee* Quote: "So, have you made any new friends in prison?" asked Pearl. "Yeah," Wocky replied. "Just became friends with this guy called Luke Atmey. He's so cool man! He looked at me and straight away he knew I didn't do it." "Wow! That sounds amazing," Pearl cried out. "He sounds really nice. His name sounds familiar, does he have a weird nose?" "He's proper cool, man." Wocky nodded and then said: "Luke does have a weird nose, like and and pointy. He's a cross between Pikachu, Pinocchio and Sherlock Holmes." Godot: I suppose that's one way to describe him. Quote: "That sounds funny and cute," Pearl exclaimed. "Just wondering cause I think I've heard of him before. His name sounds a lot like look at me." Edgeworth: Yes, thank you, author, for pointing out the incredibly obvi- Maya: Oh my gosh, it really does sound like "look at me"! I never noticed that! Edgeworth: ... Quote: "Haha I only just noticed." Then the room became silent, but the warm atmosphere between them remained the same. It had been something Wocky thought about for a while. If he hadn't have gone head over heels over Desirée, he could see himself dating Pearl. Maya: ...Pearly dating a gangsta? Apollo: Again, Wocky's probably the least-threatening "gangsta" ever, Ms. Fey. Maya: Yeah, but imagine if she picked up some of the gangsta things. Like, she starts going around in sagging pants and calling people "homie"! Apollo: (...I don't actually know her. Would that really be so strange?) Quote: He heard from her friends that she really likes him, though Pearl hadn't clearly spelt it out for him. He was in prison now, he had nothing to lose he decided to ask: "Pearly do you like me or something?" "Off course I do Wocky," Pearl replied. "I mean you are my special someone..." Pearl couldn't continue and as she came silent again she blushed. Godot: Well, that was certainly very straightforward. Maya: No! She can't date Wocky! What if she starts calling herself "P-Dawg" or something? Franziska: I do not think that Pearl Fey would change so easily for the sake of a boyfriend. Edgeworth: And that reminds me - will we get to see Pearl's reaction to Wright and Iris being engaged? Godot: Oh? And when did this happen? Apollo: Randomly. At the end of the last chapter. Godot: Figures. *sips coffee* Quote: "Aww ain't you a nice chick." Wocky smirked placing his palm on the window. "Then shouldn't Maya be on our side then?" "That's what I thought," Pearl replied. "But she's been working with Miss Franzy for a while. Maya: Is this ever going to be explained? Franziska: I highly doubt it. Quote: She's always busy and doesn't get much free time to herself. Don't worry Wocky, I know you were a good boyfriend to Dessie; you would never hurt her. I'll help fight for your re-trial. Sorry Wocky I gotta go, Mystic Maya will be wondering where I am. Take care Wocky, I love you." Pearl left the detention center as happy as can be. Wocky smiled at her. What he liked about Pearl was how she optimistic and cheerful. Godot: That was certainly the fastest-blossoming romance I've ever seen. *sips coffee amusedly* Edgeworth: Yes, so fast it removed entire sections of their conversation and made it seem like Pearl was reading off a list of pre-prepared lines that had no relation to each other. Franziska: It also destroyed the commas. Apollo: (Are the commas really such a big deal?) Quote: "Morning Mommy Iris," Trucy yawned out. The sunshine glistened through the window. Iris was near the kitchen making breakfast that woke up Trucy's nostrils. Apollo: But only her nostrils. The rest of her remained asleep. Maya: So it's just the nostrils that are yawning "good morning" here? Apollo: That's... a really disturbing mental image, actually. Edgeworth: I don't even want to know how you're imagining that. Quote: Phoenix was still fast asleep on the sofa and the newspaper was resting on head. Trucy claimed the newspaper and said to herself: "Let's see if Uncle Valant and his boyfriend's in the papers today?" She unfolded the papers and slammed her fists in horror. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Apollo: TRUCY DOESN'T SWEAR!! Godot: Red, why don't you just accept that Wright's daughter is out-of-character and move on? Apollo: You haven't even seen half of it, Mr. Armando. Quote: Trucy shouted as she read the front cover of the newspaper. She felt tempted to tear the front cover apart. Her outburst had even woken up Phoenix who responded by jumping of the sofa and rolling over to the TV. Franziska: ...and now Phoenix Wright is foolishly rolling around the floor like the fool he is. Edgeworth: After jumping off the sofa, too. Not falling. Franziska: This fanfic makes no sense. Edgeworth: I think we've established that. Quote: "Are you okay Trucy?" gasped Iris, who innocently passed her some orange juice. Maya: ...orange juice? Where did that come from? Apollo: Don't you usually pass people drinks if they're at the table to eat? I thought Trucy was by the sofa. Maya: Maybe she has really long arms that reach from the table to the sofa. Apollo: Why was Mr. Wright sleeping on the sofa, anyway? Doesn't he have a bed? Maya: I dunno. I think he likes sleeping on sofas. Quote: "This article is just madness!" Edgeworth: In other words, it's right at home in the fic. Quote: "What does it say?" Iris wrapped her arms around her. "Trucy what I told you about swearing?" Phoenix mumbled, but his voice was half-dead compared to the rest of the world. Godot: A little slow on the uptake, isn't he? *sips coffee* Apollo: Uh... Mr. Armando, I've been wondering this for a while now. Shouldn't you be out of coffee by now? Godot: Oh, this mug? Yes, it's true that I've reached the bitter dregs that lie at the bottom. *finishes coffee off* However, that doesn't stop me. *summons new mug of coffee from nowhere, sips that* Apollo: ... (You know what, let's not question it.) Quote: "Prosecuting Princess!" Trucy could not contain her outrage. She showed Iris the front cover. Franziska Von Karma stood beautifully in pride. Maya Fey was by her side with a bubbly look on her face. The newspaper wrote in fat black letters: Franziska Von Karma: Prosecuting Princess. Franziska: I am not called, nor have I ever been called, a "Prosecuting Princess". Edgeworth: That's just as well. The author might not have been able to spell "prodigy". Godot: At least "wild mare" is simple to spell. *sips coffee* Maya: I dunno. I'm pretty sure Pearly couldn't spell it. Edgeworth: That's not saying much. Quote: Trucy began to read on in disgust – what a pleasant way to start the morning. "Beautiful and sexy Franziska Von Karma has once again kept her reputation as a prosecuting princess by proving Wocky Kitaki guilty of rape. Her interview with presenter Lotta Hart will broadcasted on Channel Four Thursday evening at 8:30. The interview with Lotta Hart will answer questions that many have wanted answers too. Such as Franziska's unlikely friendship with spirit medium, Maya Fey, her work, life without her parents and the breakdown of her marriage with Adrian Andrews. What kind of a newspaper this is?" Franziska: M-Marriage with Adrian Andrews? What?! Edgeworth: No comment on "what kind of newspaper this is"? Franziska: Why was I married to Adrian Andrews? And why would my marriage break down? Any marriage I am in would be perfect! Godot: I don't know about that. *sips coffee* I sincerely doubt there are people in the world who stand to be around you 24/7. Franziska: *seethes* [Nothing else really happens for the rest of the chapter, although there is this line as a closer:] Quote: Finally Phoenix got up from the floor, and sat on the bale. The smell of bacon and eggs was the reason. Maya: ...sat on the bale? Like, a bale of hay? Apollo: Why is there a bale of hay in Mr. Wright's house? Godot: I have to say, I love the line "the smell of bacon and eggs was the reason". *sips coffee amusedly* I like the sound of it. "The smell of coffee was the reason..." Spoiler: The next chapter begins. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Jul 14, 2014 11:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay. I give. I've been holding back, but I cracked up at the exploding bit. Your sporking has gone from fair to impressive in a single post. Even Godot wasn't bad, aside from what I assume is the the incessantly loud sipping. Then again, it's likely he does that on purpose, so I'm not really complaining. Some of his metaphorical lines do sound a little awkward, but they're the most difficult part to writing him. (And as always, I'll be around to volunteer as an editor if anyone needs me.) For a moment there, I thought Maya would escape by calling Mia again, as she's done. Fortunately, this management seems more responsible by not dredging up the details of mature content... for the most part. Wow, I haven't been entranced by a good sporking in a while... mostly because there is a lack of horrid fanfics like this one these days, but it does take some skill to be able to finish a really long sporking without it dragging on too long. For now, though, it's moving at a suitable pace. Working on the next one? |
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