Court Records :: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! : Present Testimony

phoenix wright MUSHROOM attorney

phoenix wright has in his house watching tv.

"that was a weird adventure" he said because he was in sonic world to defend sonic

"im bored now" said phoenic, "i want to defend someone so i can get money"

but then the door opened
a man wearing an overalls and a red hat walked in

"who are you" said phoenix
"its a me mario" said him

"why you here" said phoenix
"my brother luigi got murdered accused" said maruo

"ok where is he" said phoneix
"hes in the detention center" said mario

"ok" said phoenix
_AT THE DETETION CENTER_

"hi mam" said luigi who was arrested

"hi luigi" said mario i mean phoenix

"how did you get here" said phoenix

"well i got accused of killing princess daisy"

"did you do it" said phoenix
"no" said luigi
"ok" said phoenix "i will defend you byt i need to investigate first"

-AT INVESTIGATION PALCE-

"where is the evidence" said phoenix but then a guy came up and his name was gumpshoe

"hi pal you cant get the evidence" said gumshoe
"why not said" phoenix
"because its for the prosecutor to make your client guilty" said gumshoe

"whos the prosecutor" said phoenix</p><p>"his name is bowser but im not supposed to tell you" said gumshoe

"then why did you tell me just now" said phoenix
"oh shit im gonna lose my salary pal" said gumshoe

"pls dont say anybody"
"ok i wont as long as you let me evidence" said phoenix

"ok fine pal" said gumshoe

_AT THE TRIAL_
"are bort sides ready" said the judge

"yes you honor" said phoenix but the prosecutor side had nobody in it

"wheres the prosecutor" said phoenix
"well if hes not here then i claim mr luigi to be-" said the judge but then he was cut OFF
BY A BIG OBJECTION AND FIRE

the judge's beard got burned off

and when the smoke was gone it was BOWSER who was the prosecute

"bwahaha" said bower "i am going to beat you mario" said bowser

"no" said mario

"please give your opening opening statement" said judge
"ok shit man" said bowser

"luigi did the crime, we know because of the knife but someone stole all our other evidence so ignore those.

mr luigi was found not conscious by the dead victim, holding the knifo"

"ok" said the judge "i wonder who stole the evidence"
it was phoenix but he didn't say so

"bowser you can call witnesses now" said the judge
"ok" said judge

"i call gumshoe to the stand"

gumshoe got on the stand
"hi pals im gumshos" said gumshoe
"give us your OPENING TESTIMONY NOW" said bowser and he breathed fire on his desk

"OK OK" said gumshoe
"we know it was luigi because of the evidence witnesses"

"we have lots of evidence"

"also the witnesses saw him do it"

"OBJECTION" said phoenix "you dont have evidence it got stolen remember"

"OHHH YEAAAAH" said gumshoe
"lol no we still have the knife with fingerprints that he shot the victim with" said bowser

"DAMMIT" said wright
"phoenix you can do it" said mario
"ok" said phoenix and he presented luigis gloves

"LUIGI WEARS GLOVES HIS FINGERPTINS COULD NOT BE ON THE KNIFE!" he said
"you idiot he could have take them off" said bowser

"why would he take gloves off to commit murder" said phoenix "obviously to FRAME SOMEONE ELSE"

"WHAAAAAAAAT" said bowser
"its simple" said phoenix "someone used luigi's fingerprints to touch the knife"

"BULL SHIT" said bowser "YOU CANT PROVE IT"

"hm your right" said phoenix "bring in the next witness"

"fine" said bowser "WALUIGI get up here"
"WAA im walogigi" said waluigi

"TESTIMONY" said bowser
"ok" said waluigi

"i saw luigi killing princess daisy"
"he was daisys girlfriend but he killed her because she cheat on him"

"they went into the alley but he killed her"

OBJECTION said wright "I PRESENT THE ROCK"

"wtf is that" said boser
"this rock has luigi blood on it meaning it was used to KNOCK HIM OUT" said wright

"so daisy used it to knock him out" said bowser
"but it doesnt have daisys fingerprints on it" said wright

"NOOOOOO" said bowser
so this means someone with gloves knocked out luigi" said phoenix

"IT MUST HAVE BEEN WALUIGIS" said mario
"WAAAA" said waluigi "NO IT WASNT MEEE"

"THEN WHO WAS IT" SAID PHOENIX
"IT WAS BOWSER" said waluigi

"HE MADE ME LIE MY TESTIMONY"
"NO SHUT UP" said bowser

"THAT MEANS" said wright IT MUST HAVE BEEN BOWSER" "BECAUSE BOWSER HAS NO FINGERPTINS!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO" said bowser and he breathed fire on his desk and it exploded sending him far away

"ok i declare defendant not guilty" said judge

"YAY I WON" said phoenix
_AFTER TRIAL_
"so bowser kill princess daisy?" said luigi

"i dont know" said phoenix

"but good thing is ur not in jail"

"yeah" said mario "lets go eat spaghetti"
"ew i hate spaghetti" said phoenix
"WHAT" said mario and he punched him so hard he went back home

"well at least i have hot dogs" said phoenix but he looked in his fridge and they were all gone

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Dec 06, 2015 10:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: No worries. I think we'll be busy with the live sporking anyway, so you won't be missing out on much. I don't like deciding on something without all of our members' approvals, but three out of four have voted for the ageplay one, so I guess we're taking that one. Pretty good choice, if I do say so. Okay! So who's gonna start on the intro? We already have some random font color babble in the document. I vote for keeping that in as the start of the intro.

Author:	Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Fair enough. Should we include the Management, or are we going to play as the Management? And what of the Narrator? ...Actually, I kinda feel like I wanna be the Narrator... but I think I'm going to end up as the group mascot. Should we get started today/tomorrow? I'm gonna be offline for a good chunk of tomorrow, but I'll definitely check by later that evening. How about then?

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Fair enough. Should we include the Management, or are we going to play as the Management? And what of the Narrator? ...Actually, I kinda feel like I wanna be the Narrator... but I think I'm going to end up as the group mascot. Should we get started today/tomorrow? I'm gonna be offline for a good chunk of tomorrow, but I'll definitely check by later that evening. How about then? I say no Management since that's kind of us, but IDK about the narrator. I've been periodically checking the document ever since I was invited to edit it.

Author:	Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Oh, dear. I'd thought since we hadn't decided on a meeting time, there wouldn't be anyone on there. ^^; Okay, you know what? I can join you now and we can draft out a few things there while we wait for the others. I can totally multitask on studying and sporking! Well, I'm just doing quick reviews at the moment, so it's really no big deal.

Author:	Rysiek [ Mon Dec 07, 2015 3:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Brain bleach isn't enough.I need a spare brain https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654212/1 ... meone-Vore Rule 34 and 35 shouldn't scare me, but they do here. Rule 34 "If it exists, there's porn for it" Rule 35 "If porn doesn't exist for it, it WILL exist."

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Author:	Slammer [ Mon Dec 07, 2015 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Rysiek wrote: Brain bleach isn't enough.I need a spare brain https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654212/1 ... meone-Vore Rule 34 and 35 shouldn't scare me, but they do here. Rule 34 "If it exists, there's porn for it" Rule 35 "If porn doesn't exist for it, it WILL exist." And that's not even the weirdest one I ever read

Author:	Polly [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Well, hello. I've gotten quite a few good laughs out of this thread. Maybe I'll try my hand at a sporking or two, though I can't promise regular sporkings. There are quite a few fics I can think of with sporking potential, though I wouldn't be surprised if some of them had been done. (Admittedly, my own attempts at fics have been less-than-stellar, though I've never written for Ace Attorney). While I'm here, I'll mention a few fics that have only just been published in the past few days, in case anybody might want to spork them. I see one of them was already mentioned. All of them are vore fics, and the rather odd thing is the casual way the characters react to vore. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654205/1 ... iment-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654225/1 ... -Maya-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11656211/1/Mother-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11656228/1/Father-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654212/1 ... meone-Vore

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Polly wrote: Well, hello. I've gotten quite a few good laughs out of this thread. Maybe I'll try my hand at a sporking or two, though I can't promise regular sporkings. There are quite a few fics I can think of with sporking potential, though I wouldn't be surprised if some of them had been done. (Admittedly, my own attempts at fics have been less-than-stellar, though I've never written for Ace Attorney). While I'm here, I'll mention a few fics that have only just been published in the past few days, in case anybody might want to spork them. I see one of them was already mentioned. All of them are vore fics, and the rather odd thing is the casual way the characters react to vore. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654205/1 ... iment-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654225/1 ... -Maya-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11656211/1/Mother-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11656228/1/Father-Vore https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11654212/1 ... meone-Vore VORELAND SPECIAL VORELAND SPECIAL VORELAND SPECIAL

Author:	Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 5:37 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Good luck, Airey. I see the KM specials are well accomodated with the Carrot Saga and now Voreland. Now when I can get to it, I'll throw in a Hellspawn or two. Btw, I finished adding in my last sporking comments. Now how are we supposed to end it, and do we need to edit the intro so it's not just a conversation between only the two of us?

Author:	MoonRaven [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Oh, dear those vore fics... I haven't read them and I won't read them. Ever. What annoys me especially about them is the rating... At least in my mind vore should be M rated...

Author:	Rysiek [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
MoonRaven wrote: Oh, dear those vore fics... I haven't read them and I won't read them. Ever. What annoys me especially about them is the rating... At least in my mind vore should be M rated... I don't understand whats up with vore. And the rating I would give it doesn't exist on FF.net, but on good ol AO3. E.

Author:	Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Good luck, Airey. I see the KM specials are well accomodated with the Carrot Saga and now Voreland. Now when I can get to it, I'll throw in a Hellspawn or two. Btw, I finished adding in my last sporking comments. Now how are we supposed to end it, and do we need to edit the intro so it's not just a conversation between only the two of us? Well, the other three people need to finish adding in their comments (too lazy/busy reading OPM do that right now) and then we all need to go over it to make sure there isn't any last thing any of us want to say, and of course editing, although that part could probably be handled by just one person. Outtro can be done via "Everyone give their closing thoughts on this fic!" and I don't know what to do with the intro... most of it needs to be cut, tbh... Last comments filled, and now I think one more review of the sporking should be in order. And again, that intro ought to be changed. Should we try a simplistic approach, like after introducing ourselves, we jump right into the fic, or should I add in some flair with a little storytelling? I'm the one providing the fic, after all.

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Good luck, Airey. I see the KM specials are well accomodated with the Carrot Saga and now Voreland. Now when I can get to it, I'll throw in a Hellspawn or two. Btw, I finished adding in my last sporking comments. Now how are we supposed to end it, and do we need to edit the intro so it's not just a conversation between only the two of us? Well, the other three people need to finish adding in their comments (too lazy/busy reading OPM do that right now) and then we all need to go over it to make sure there isn't any last thing any of us want to say, and of course editing, although that part could probably be handled by just one person. Outtro can be done via "Everyone give their closing thoughts on this fic!" and I don't know what to do with the intro... most of it needs to be cut, tbh... Last comments filled, and now I think one more review of the sporking should be in order. And again, that intro ought to be changed. Should we try a simplistic approach, like after introducing ourselves, we jump right into the fic, or should I add in some flair with a little storytelling? I'm the one providing the fic, after all. Self-introduction framed by a little bit of storytelling, maybe?

Author:	Skittlemask [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Last comments filled, and now I think one more review of the sporking should be in order. And again, that intro ought to be changed. Should we try a simplistic approach, like after introducing ourselves, we jump right into the fic, or should I add in some flair with a little storytelling? I'm the one providing the fic, after all. Self-introduction framed by a little bit of storytelling, maybe? I agree with the storytelling part, honestly. That way, we'll at least start it off on an interesting note.

Author:	Rysiek [ Sat Dec 12, 2015 9:53 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
It is good. Especially these Quote: She’s a sensible girl, so she’d obviously call - what’s the equivalent of CPS for adults? Is there one? APS? (Oh wait, that’s for disabled or elderly people...) And Quote: luck: I think we’ve crossed the Wrongness Event Horizon. Again.Skittle: The entire fic crossed the Wrongness Event Horizon.

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:06 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Fuck sex. Is that similar to Fuck Hell (also known as Ohio, according to Google images)? Voreland special to be posted sometime after Christmas - before New Year's, ideally.

Author:	luck [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 11:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Skittlemask wrote: AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Last comments filled, and now I think one more review of the sporking should be in order. And again, that intro ought to be changed. Should we try a simplistic approach, like after introducing ourselves, we jump right into the fic, or should I add in some flair with a little storytelling? I'm the one providing the fic, after all. Self-introduction framed by a little bit of storytelling, maybe? I agree with the storytelling part, honestly. That way, we'll at least start it off on an interesting note. For my part I think I've added everything I could, so help yourself with the intro.

Author:	Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
I wasn't sure how else to tell a story, but I at least made that intro a bit more amusing and a lot less cluttered, while still keeping the beginning. Also added a few extra lines in the outro. Let me know if it's ok as is, or if anyone wants to add in anything else. To everyone else who's been waiting on us, you probably won't have to wait much longer. Cheers!

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:47 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Well, I'm satisfied with it.

Author:	2Edgey4Mia [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: To everyone else who's been waiting on us, you probably won't have to wait much longer. Cheers! Can you provide us with an approximate date so that we can mark our calendars? I really don't want to miss out on this...

Author:	Skittlemask [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
2Edgey4Mia wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: To everyone else who's been waiting on us, you probably won't have to wait much longer. Cheers! Can you provide us with an approximate date so that we can mark our calendars? I really don't want to miss out on this... ????? We're just going to get a link to the document so anybody can view it. You can view it at any time you want after that, no specific dates required. Anyway, I've read the new intro and the story is more than enough, Rubia. Maintains the sporking theatre atmosphere nicely. I don't have anything new to add to it either.

Author:	luck [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Skittlemask wrote: 2Edgey4Mia wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: To everyone else who's been waiting on us, you probably won't have to wait much longer. Cheers! Can you provide us with an approximate date so that we can mark our calendars? I really don't want to miss out on this... ????? We're just going to get a link to the document so anybody can view it. You can view it at any time you want after that, no specific dates required. Anyway, I've read the new intro and the story is more than enough, Rubia. Maintains the sporking theatre atmosphere nicely. I don't have anything new to add to it either. Neither do I, so I think we've reached the final phase.

Author:	Slammer [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Okie-dokie. It's been great working on this with you all. About time. Edit: Wow, I love how there's "soHQ" in the url of this doc. Quite accurate. I just began reading the first pages and it's freakin' hilarious! Great work, guys!

Author:	cuteyounggirlplus [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Wow, that sporking was great, guys!

Author:	TheGreatSnarkoo [ Sat Dec 12, 2015 3:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
I found this gem of a crossover trollfic. https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11662342/1/C ... nd-Burgers Honestly, it was only a matter of time.

Author:	cuteyounggirlplus [ Sat Dec 12, 2015 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
@TheGreatSnarkoo That's not even the first Ace Attorney/Undertale trollfic... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11586461/1 ... -undertale

Author:	MoonRaven [ Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
I can't... Great sporking guys, but I had to quit reading at the point when Simon appeared to the picture.

Author:	Ana R. [ Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Let's break the silence... with a sporking! Title: phoenix wright MUSHROOM attorney Rating: Horrible spelling/grammar, OOC, badly written case and trial, and... well, it should speak for itself. Original Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11473315/1 ... M-attorney Today's sporkers are: Phoenix Wright! "What am I doing here?! The Kingdom needs me!" Maya Fey! "Forget that, Nick. Where did the Management just bring us?!" And finally, from the result of this Crossover fic... Paper Luigi! "Huh? What?" "Management, you should probably stop messing with alternate worlds, the universe might...." Speakers: Glad you asked, Mr Wright. That's why we've brought you to a different location! Phoenix: Huh? Maya: Yes! I knew we were somewhere else! Nick, gimme a dollar! Phoenix: Forget it, Maya. Speakers: Due to the... nature of our sporking cast, we will be using our new sporking theater, made specifically for crossover fics like this: The Outer Payne Theather! All:..... P. Luigi: Uh... what? Speakers: It's basically some dirty room with a TV we found in space. Yes, you're all in space right now. Phoenix&Maya: WHAT?! P. Luigi: Eh, I may have visited a few times. Speakers: As long as we're in space and not in either of our worlds, the universe shouldn't care, right? Good. Now, enjoy the fic, sporkers! Evil laugh The sporkers take their seats in the dusty new room, and stared quietly at the large screen in front of them. P. Luigi: So, what exactly are we supposed to do here? Phoenix briefly explains the concept of the Sporking Theatre, sprinkling it with horror stories from past sporkings P. Luigi: Riiiight... but I still don't see why I'm here. Speakers: Because, dear Luigi, your brother refuses to speak, and we forbid silent sporkers. They're boring. But that aside, if Mr Wright will kindly apologize to us and admit that all he told you is made up, we'll begin! Spoiler: Quote: phoenix wright MUSHROOM attorney P. Luigi: I guess that confirms this is a crossover, right? Phoenix: Yeah... we don't like these things. At all. Quote: phoenix wright has in his house watching tv. Maya: Nick! Stop sitting around and take some cases already! Phoenix: I want to, Maya, but the Management forbid it. Quote: "that was a weird adventure" he said because he was in sonic world to defend sonic P. Luigi: Sonic? That overconfident animal who can't run the 100m for his life? Phoenix: I take it this is set after another crossover fic... Speakers: One we will be producing in this very theater, Mr Wright. Phoenix&Maya: Oh please, no! Quote: "im bored now" said phoenic, "i want to defend someone so i can get money" Maya: That's the spirit, FicNick! Nick, you learn a lot from FicNick! Phoenix: (Learning from fic!me.... I must be sinking to new lows.) Quote: but then the door opened a man wearing an overalls and a red hat walked in P. Luigi: Oh, that'd be my bro! Phoenix: You're... brother? Maya: Duh, Nick, it's Mario, of course! Phoenix: Oh! So, I guess he's been accused of a crime and wants me to defend him? P. Luigi: Aren't you lawyers supposed to be the ones who visit their clients in that case? Phoenix: This is a fanfiction. In the sporking theater. Quote: "who are you" said phoenix "its a me mario" said him Maya: Hi Him, what's a Memario? Quote: "why you here" said phoenix "my brother luigi got murdered accused" said maruo All: UHHH? P. Luigi: Wait, was I murdered or accused? Phoenix: I'm guessing the author decided to change the plot and whited out "murdered" Maya: And who's Maruo? A foreign name for Mario? Quote: "ok where is he" said phoneix "hes in the detention center" said mario Maya: Wow, Nick, Mario knows more about this lawyer stuff than you do! P. Luigi: Heh. Yeah, my bro's pretty amazing like that. Phoenix: Come on, I am NOT this stupid! Quote: "ok" said phoenix _AT THE DETETION CENTER_ Phoenix: Detention Center. Maya&Luigi: .... Maya: Is that it? Phoenix: It was bugging me, and Franziska isn't here to correct it for me. Quote: "hi mam" said luigi who was arrested Phoenix: Hi son. P. Luigi: Okay, I guess I wasn't murdered. Good. Quote: "hi luigi" said mario i mean phoenix P. Luigi: Wait, what? Maya: What was the point of that? Oops, that was Phoenix, not Maya. Sorry! Quote: "how did you get here" said phoenix Maya: He fell out of a cloud and into Wario's dungeon. Phoenix: Or he was arrested. Quote: "well i got accused of killing princess daisy" P. Luigi: I what?! What who?! Maya: N-Now Luigi, I know this may be hard, but there are other girls out there, y'know? P. Luigi: Yes, and the only one that matters a thousand miles away off the coast of Rogueport. What am I gonna do now?! Phoenix: You can leave the theater and forget this ever happened. Speakers: You cannot leave yet, Mr Wright. Phoenix: Don't listen to them, Luigi, it's easy. Watch! Phoenix bursted out of the room. Nobody stopped him. A minute later, he walked back in and got back in his seat without another word. Phoenix: Oh... right. Quote: "did you do it" said phoenix "no" said luigi "ok" said phoenix "i will defend you byt i need to investigate first" P. Luigi: So... you'll just believe me like that? Phoenix: I guess if no pysche locks showed up, I would believe you. Maya: Even though that hasn't always worked. Quote: -AT INVESTIGATION PALCE- Phoenix: Investigation place? Maya: Where have I heard that, before? Quote: "where is the evidence" said phoenix but then a guy came up and his name was gumpshoe P. Luigi: Wouldn't the evidence be found on the crime scene? Maya: Yeah Nick, stop hanging around this Investigation Place and head there instead. Phoenix: I think this IS the crime scene. Maya: Yet you had to ask where the evidence is. Zvarri! You're not at the crime scene! Phoenix: ... I won't comment on that. Anyway, Gumpshoe's here! Quote: "hi pal you cant get the evidence" said gumshoe "why not said" phoenix "because its for the prosecutor to make your client guilty" said gumshoe Phoenix: So in other words, it's the same as always, they just decided to treat me like scum for this case. P. Luigi: Can't you just look at the crime scene? Maya: No, he's not even there. Quote: "whos the prosecutor" said phoenix</p><p>"his name is bowser but im not supposed to tell you" said gumshoe Phoenix: You just did. P. Luigi: BOWSER is the prosecutor?! Phoenix: Is that a problem? We've had Satan as a prosecutor before, it can't be THAT bad, right? P. Luigi: Yes it's a problem! Bowser in court is never going to go well. That's why he's still around! Quote: "then why did you tell me just now" said phoenix "oh shit im gonna lose my salary pal" said gumshoe Maya: Hey! Language, Gumshoe! Phoenix: He's going to lose his salary? It's not going to be deducted? ...Actually, that sounds about right. Quote: "pls dont say anybody" "ok i wont as long as you let me evidence" said phoenix Phoenix: That's just going to make it worse for him! Maya: No it won't, Nick, he's already lost his salary! Quote: "ok fine pal" said gumshoe P. Luigi: Do all investigations go like this? Phoenix: I wish. It'd save me from beatings, electric shocks, mafia enounters, and other events I'd rather not get involved it. P. Luigi: You might get much, much worse at the trial though... knowing the prosecutor. Phoenix: Gulp Quote: _AT THE TRIAL_ "are bort sides ready" said the judge Maya: We're bort ready, Your Honor! Quote: "yes you honor" said phoenix but the prosecutor side had nobody in it P. Luigi: How did the judge not notice that? Phoenix: Ugh, great, the old "late prosecutor" cliche again. Quote: "wheres the prosecutor" said phoenix "well if hes not here then i claim mr luigi to be-" said the judge but then he was cut OFF BY A BIG OBJECTION AND FIRE Phoenix: F-FIRE?! Maya: Nick, the prosecutor's a dragon! P. Luigi: Nah, it's just Bowser. Quote: the judge's beard got burned off Maya: Not the beard! Quote: and when the smoke was gone it was BOWSER who was the prosecute Phoenix: Dramatic reveal! Oh wait, we already knew he was the prosecutor. Quote: "bwahaha" said bower "i am going to beat you mario" said bowser Phoenix: That's not something you just announce in a courtroom. P. Luigi: My bro will never be beaten by you, Bowser! Quote: "no" said mario P. Luigi: Yeah, you tell him, bro! Quote: "please give your opening opening statement" said judge "ok shit man" said bowser Maya: Language, Bowser! Phoenix: Is Bowser annoyed with the judge for that? He asked nicely! Quote: "luigi did the crime, we know because of the knife but someone stole all our other evidence so ignore those. Phoenix: So he has no evidence against my client, but he wants us to ignore that fact. Maya: And everyone will ignore it. Phoenix: This guy's good. Quote: mr luigi was found not conscious by the dead victim, holding the knifo" P. Luigi: Well, of course I'd be found asl- I mean, uh... never mind. Maya: So he was holding the "knifo". How does that prove anything? Quote: "ok" said the judge "i wonder who stole the evidence" it was phoenix but he didn't say so Phoenix: His Honor doesn't seem to care much about the stolen evidence. Maya: Wait, Nick stole the evidence? P. Luigi: Now that you mention it... Phoenix: Why would I want to STEAL the evidence? I would just want to know what the evidence is. Maya: That's how it normally goes. Quote: "bowser you can call witnesses now" said the judge "ok" said judge All: ..... Phoenix: Um.... are you okay, Your Honor? Quote: "i call gumshoe to the stand" P. Luigi: Oh, that guy again. I bet now he'll tell the court that you stole the evidence. Quote: gumshoe got on the stand "hi pals im gumshos" said gumshoe "give us your OPENING TESTIMONY NOW" said bowser and he breathed fire on his desk Maya: Woah, Bowser, you might damage that thing! Phoenix: Is Gumshoe not going to give his occupation, too? Quote: "OK OK" said gumshoe "we know it was luigi because of the evidence witnesses" Phoenix: The evidence? Maya: The witnesses? P. Luigi: The evidence AND witnesses? Speakers: Nah, it's probably the witness's evidence. I personally think it's the evidence's witnesses. Quote: "we have lots of evidence" P. Luigi: Wasn't it stolen? Phoenix: Yes, and that's why I'm going to raise an objection right now! Quote: "also the witnesses saw him do it" Phoenix: ....Right now! Quote: "OBJECTION" said phoenix "you dont have evidence it got stolen remember" Phoenix: There we go! P. Luigi: That was an easy contradiction... Maya: Yeah! Hey, Nick, didn't Luigi spot that contradiction before you? Phoenix: What? Well, I'm not sure. Maya: Wow! The Mario brothers are much better at this lawyer stuff than you, Nick! P. Luigi: Well, I wouldn't go that far. Quote: "OHHH YEAAAAH" said gumshoe "lol no we still have the knife with fingerprints that he shot the victim with" said bowser Phoenix: And that fact only comes to light now. P. Luigi: Fingerprints? But... I usually wear gloves. Maya: Hey, you're right! Nick, you totally should have noticed that! Phoenix: (Ignore her, Phoenix... Ignore her!) Quote: "DAMMIT" said wright "phoenix you can do it" said mario "ok" said phoenix and he presented luigis gloves Phoenix: "OK" said Phoenix and he confessed to stealing the evidence." Narrating is my job, Mr Wright. Phoenix: But that's exactly what fic!me has just done! Quote: "LUIGI WEARS GLOVES HIS FINGERPTINS COULD NOT BE ON THE KNIFE!" he said "you idiot he could have take them off" said bowser P. Luigi: Except I'm not an idiot. Phoenix: And I'm not an idiot, either. Quote: "why would he take gloves off to commit murder" said phoenix "obviously to FRAME SOMEONE ELSE" P. Luigi: I what? Maya: Luigi wanted to frame someone? Phoenix: Well, that was worded poorly. Quote: "WHAAAAAAAAT" said bowser "its simple" said phoenix "someone used luigi's fingerprints to touch the knife" Phoenix: As if that wasn't an obvious explanation. Quote: "BULL SHIT" said bowser "YOU CANT PROVE IT" Phoenix: Yes I can, because I have the evidence and noone here is smart enough to realize I stole it when I present it! Quote: "hm your right" said phoenix "bring in the next witness" Phoenix: ...Or I could play it safe. Quote: "fine" said bowser "WALUIGI get up here" "WAA im walogigi" said waluigi Phoenix: Why doesn't anyone in this fic ever give their occupations? P. Luigi: Wait... what is Waluigi's job, anyway? Quote: "TESTIMONY" said bowser "ok" said waluigi Maya: Calm down, Bowser. Sheesh. Phoenix: Yeah, not even Manfred von Karma was like this. Quote: "i saw luigi killing princess daisy" "he was daisys girlfriend but he killed her because she cheat on him" P. Luigi: WH-WHA-? Hey, it wasn't like that! Phoenix: (That's not what you were saying earlier) P. Luigi: And-and who was she also seeing, anyway? Mario? Tatanga? You?! Wait, I bet it was Lemmy! It was, wasn't it?! Phoenix: Can we PLEASE stop pressing this point? Quote: "they went into the alley but he killed her" P. Luigi: We finally find out where the crime scene was! Maya: Aside from just the "Investigation Place." Quote: OBJECTION said wright "I PRESENT THE ROCK" Phoenix: Okay, now they're definitely going to call me out. P. Luigi: On stealing the evidence? Phoenix: No, of bluffing. Maya: They did that a LONG time ago. Quote: "wtf is that" said boser "this rock has luigi blood on it meaning it was used to KNOCK HIM OUT" said wright Phoenix: Or the blood was planted there. Maya: Or Luigi stubbed his toe on it. P. Luigi: Or it actually knocked me out. Phoenix: Whatever happened, I'm really jumping to conclusions here. Quote: "so daisy used it to knock him out" said bowser "but it doesnt have daisys fingerprints on it" said wright Maya: Wouldn't that prove Luigi didn't kill her? He was found unconcious, right? Phoenix: I could say that, but the fic doesn't agree. P. Luigi: But... Quote: "NOOOOOO" said bowser so this means someone with gloves knocked out luigi" said phoenix P. Luigi: But Daisy ALSO wears gloves! Phoenix: Really? Well, what the heck am I talking about, then?! Quote: "IT MUST HAVE BEEN WALUIGIS" said mario "WAAAA" said waluigi "NO IT WASNT MEEE" Phoenix: So it was Waluigi because he wears gloves. P. Luigi: Well, gloves ARE really expensive over in that world. 6000 coins, it said on the price tag. Quote: "THEN WHO WAS IT" SAID PHOENIX "IT WAS BOWSER" said waluigi P. Luigi: But Bowser is the ONLY one involved who doesn't wear gloves! Phoenix: Oh, but they don't care, the truth always prevails in these fics. Quote: "HE MADE ME LIE MY TESTIMONY" "NO SHUT UP" said bowser Maya: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?! Quote: "THAT MEANS" said wright IT MUST HAVE BEEN BOWSER" "BECAUSE BOWSER HAS NO FINGERPTINS!" All: .... Phoenix: Can we test that? Maya: Or someone else could have worn gloves. P. Luigi: It's getting hard to follow all of this. Quote: "NOOOOOOOOOO" said bowser and he breathed fire on his desk and it exploded sending him far away P. Luigi: If he doesn't break the screen again, that's fine. Quote: "ok i declare defendant not guilty" said judge Phoenix: Well, THAT was easy. Maya: How come nobody has noticed fic!Nick had all the stolen evidence? Phoenix: Because this is a fanfiction! Quote: "YAY I WON" said phoenix _AFTER TRIAL_ "so bowser kill princess daisy?" said luigi Phoenix: Who knows, it's not like we proved it. Quote: "i dont know" said phoenix Phoenix: Even the fic admits it!! P. Luigi: ...Are ALL of these fanfictions like this? Phoenix&Maya: Yes. Quote: "but good thing is ur not in jail" Phoenix: Unless you're the killer, which we can't disprove for sure. P. Luigi: I am NOT the killer! Quote: "yeah" said mario "lets go eat spaghetti" "ew i hate spaghetti" said phoenix "WHAT" said mario and he punched him so hard he went back home P. Luigi: Yeah! That's my bro! Phoenix: I don't hate spaghetti! I just... don't like it so much. Quote: "well at least i have hot dogs" said phoenix but he looked in his fridge and they were all gone Maya: Gulp Quote: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Phoenix: Thank you, author, for wrapping this up so randomly. The lights try to brighten, but not by much. P. Luigi: Is that it? Phoenix: Yes. Be glad you don't have to return here. Ever. Speakers: Well, we can't promise anything, there are still some nice Mario X Phoenix Wright fics around to look at. P. Luigi: Keep me out of them. Speakers: Again, no promises. Phoenix: So... we're not really using this supposedly magical theater from now on, right? Speakers: Nah, just for cross-universal sporkings like this. You still gotta deal with our goons back on Earth, Mr Wright. Hmm hmm hmm! Maya: Ugh... can we just go, now? Speakers: Of course, but we'll need Paper Luigi to go first, for universal balance. Paper Luigi is teleported out of the Space Theater, and after a minute, Phoenix and Maya do the same. Join us next time in the normal theater for more fictional pleasure.

Author:	cuteyounggirlplus [ Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
@ArrowLawn Good Job! You made me laugh out loud, which isn't an easy feat. The one thing I have to say is that the Narrator should speak inside parentheses. I hope to see some more sporkings from you soon.

Author:	AireyVerkhovensky [ Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
You probably should have edited a little more, since there were some punctuation issues here and there, but other than that I liked it. I also do really like the Outer Payne Theater. Of course, "some dirty room with a TV we found in space" makes me think they're on the Satellite of Love, so...

Author:	Skittlemask [ Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Good job, Arrow! Do keep up on your editing next time, though. Also, I like the name of this new theatre. By the way, is anyone planning on doing a sporking for Christmas? If not, I could definetly finish one for that time if I get started this weekend, but I don't wanna ruin anyone's plans.

Author:	Darth Wiader [ Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Here I go again, visiting this place. Oops, it seems I've dropped something! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11656211/1/Mother-Vore

Author:	DrOcsid [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 2:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Oh god, that sporking was great. I'm disappointed you changed this line, though: Quote: "they went into the alley for fuck sex but he killed her" I mean, come on, worse stuff has been posted. And their reactions would have been funny.

Author:	WhatTheWhat [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:24 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
I'm alive! And I've (kind of) overcome depression! I've felt guilty for not being here, so I worked up the commitment to come back. I may not be the most enjoyable person here, but I still missed everyone. I'll see if I can find a bad fanfic to spork. There's this okay one with an OC that's on an archive of our own. I'll post the link when I find it. By the way, google Docs deleted my Halloween sporking part 2. Sorry...

Author:	Ana R. [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
We got new material! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11682100/1 ... nabout-egg That name look familiar? :V

Author:	cuteyounggirlplus [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
@ArrowLawn If you are doing the Undertale one, I request Mettaton be involved somehow. He's made for entertainment, after all! Actually if anyone is doing an Undertale crossover, featuring Mettaton would be perfect. Awooga~!