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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Feb 29, 2016 3:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I read "late singer" and thought that it was going to be a fic about David Bowie. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Feb 29, 2016 5:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Have we found a fic feat. David Bowie yet? Thanks for keeping the thread up, Skittle. Lately, I've been going through a phase where I didn't really want to get back to sporking, as amusing as my current fic is. I'll eventually finish it, but it might take a little while more... |
Author: | Ana R. [ Tue Mar 01, 2016 8:15 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Just gonna drop this here... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11817240/1 ... nabout-hat |
Author: | DrOcsid [ Wed Mar 02, 2016 3:40 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
ArrowLawn wrote: Just gonna drop this here... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11817240/1 ... nabout-hat This style is awfully familiar. Especially the being sucked into the DS... |
Author: | Ana R. [ Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:03 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
The author of that last fic has already made another "gem", this one's a crossover with Snow White. And, fortunately, this one ISN'T identical to the original Jakkid trilogy. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11820086/1 ... bout-apple |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm not sure why, but this one is actually funnier. Maybe it's just the thought of seven ace attorneys scrunched up into a single crackfic. And it doesn't rely on incredibly terrible spelling that has fallen out of taste with me. If only I wasn't already occupied with a sporking... |
Author: | Polly [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Title: trilo x hotti Author: Barrylawn., who has a couple other fics that have been linked to in this thread, by the way. Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11821817/1/trilo-x-hotti Rating: The usual, typos, lack of capitalization, and just intentionally bad. Our sporkers today are: Phoenix Wright! Miles Edgeworth! And Maya Fey! Spoiler: |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 6:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Sorry for this little interruption, but I've finally made up my mind. I think I'm going to drop sporking for a good while. I just haven't been in the mood to get any done, even if I change to a different fic or whatnot. I'll still be around to leave a few comments or critiques or something from time to time, but I need a break. In the meantime, the Undertale crossover I was working on is now free for others to take. But I'm not dropping fan writing entirely. I'll just be returning to some of my fanfiction works in my thread elsewhere in this subforum, and I think I should focus on one thing at a time. Good luck to the rest of ya! We need to keep this theater strong! @Polly That was an odd fic... not really funny, just odd. Good job on the main sporking, but I feel like the beginning and end are lacking. I used to think the intro and outro weren't that important to a sporking, but they generally give the whole thing a sense of completion. The way they so abruptly come and go without much thought to it leaves the characters feeling really flat and static, even if the lines they say during the sporking are just right. |
Author: | wizkid99 [ Tue Mar 08, 2016 10:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
*Finally catches up with 23-ish pages of sporking and collapses from exhaustion* *pant**pant**pant* Hey there, do any of you remember me? No? That guy who just sort of wandered in at Page 13 and offered blood sacrifices to the sporking gods before dropping off the face of Court Records? Yeah. It so nice to see you guys after so many months, and I want to supply more fanfics in the future. *cough* If anyone is interested, I have a guide on doing a MST although I wonder how helpful it will be, considering that keeping the characters in-character is a very important of making a good sporking here. I'll just let you judge for yourselves. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Mar 08, 2016 10:29 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
wizkid99 wrote: *Finally catches up with 23-ish pages of sporking and collapses from exhaustion* *pant**pant**pant* Hey there, do any of you remember me? No? That guy who just sort of wandered in at Page 13 and offered blood sacrifices to the sporking gods before dropping off the face of Court Records? Yeah. It so nice to see you guys after so many months, and I want to supply more fanfics in the future. *cough* If anyone is interested, I have a guide on doing a MST although I wonder how helpful it will be, considering that keeping the characters in-character is a very important of making a good sporking here. I'll just let you judge for yourselves. Quote: online and lately "msting" has stood for "Mary Sue Torture". Actually, MST refers to MST3k (Mystery Science Theatre 3000), a TV show that pioneered the genre of sporking/mocking bad things via rapid-fire comedy. The first MSTs were done using characters from the show, and since it was - and still is - done in the style of the show, they were called MSTs. |
Author: | Ana R. [ Fri Mar 11, 2016 8:23 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
So you've all been introduced to Jakkid the Second, but Jakkid the Third seems to have gone unnoticed. So let's fix that by linking this slice of magic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11835102/1 ... ut-monster |
Author: | Planetbox [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 12:53 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Hello, people! I'm Planetbox and I'm terrible at self-intros. I've been reading through this thread for a while, and I'd like to try doing a sporking myself! I did a "practice sporking" at one point, and it ended up not terrible enough that I think I could somewhat succeed on an actual one. For example, I'd be interested in doing that Undertale one Rubia was doing if it's not taken. |
Author: | Consul Lentulus [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I come to spork! Straight out of Rome. Anyway, I think I will take the vorefic. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 8:07 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Have fun you two. I may not be sporking anything atm, but I'll be around in case someone has questions or just wants some advice. |
Author: | Planetbox [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:11 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Have fun you two. I may not be sporking anything atm, but I'll be around in case someone has questions or just wants some advice. Actually, I have a question. Were you doing both parts of the Undertale fic, or had the first half already been sporked? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:08 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Planetbox wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Have fun you two. I may not be sporking anything atm, but I'll be around in case someone has questions or just wants some advice. Actually, I have a question. Were you doing both parts of the Undertale fic, or had the first half already been sporked? I was going for both at once, so I didn't have anything published yet. You're free to take it. I don't think I'll get back to it. |
Author: | JinniaFlyer450 [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Dammit, now I want to get back to my AAO case and finish it. It was something I think someone may enjoy sporking, if AAO cases are in fact fair game. And, yes, I am one member of the unwashed masses who would, as a matter of fact, love to see someone pick apart my story. -laughs- |
Author: | Blizdi [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
JinniaFlyer450 wrote: Dammit, now I want to get back to my AAO case and finish it. It was something I think someone may enjoy sporking, if AAO cases are in fact fair game. And, yes, I am one member of the unwashed masses who would, as a matter of fact, love to see someone pick apart my story. -laughs- You should re-add me on skype |
Author: | Ana R. [ Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Sporking Theatre Presents... Title: phoenix wright turnabout goat Rating: Heavy OOCness (Mainly from Godot and Gumshoe), Nonsensical plot, the Jakkid-esque capitalization/spelling, BLACK MAGIC, and other random, dumb parts (<Removed. I think the best part should be left completely unexpected>). Author: Barrylawn. Original Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11841060/1 ... about-goat Today's Sporkers Are: Phoenix Wright! Can't you sadists have one sporking without me? Dick Gumshoe! Wow, pal, when was the last time I was here? Godot! Ha...! Beats sitting in prison with one mug of coffee for the day. Aaaaand...! The Goat From Goat Simulator! Baah! (Eats grass) "What?!" Nah, just kidding. It's actually Miles Edgeworth! "...I'm not laughing, Management." (We open up in the Sporking Theatre once again! Phoenix is sitting down as Gumshoe and Edgeworth are escorting Godot to his seat. Phoenix: "The Goat From Goat Simulator?" Who even is that? Speakers: Someone capable of destroying our precious theatre, Mr Wright. We are NOT bringing him in. Godot: Ha...! Now what's this, I hear? Could it be that our work of literature today is about goats? Gumshoe: Hey, I have a goat! Her name's Maggey! Saves my life over and over, heh heh! Edgeworth: (Sitting down) Hopefully this won't be too long... I really must be getting back to work! (The lights dim, and the fanfiction begins!) Spoiler: (The lights turn on, and the screen fades to black) Edgeworth: Now then, I have work to do. (Edgeworth stands up and leaves the theatre.) Gumshoe: Alright, pal, let's go. Godot: One moment, Detective. *Glugglugglugglugglugglugglugglugglugglug* Phoenix: I... think leave him to you. (Runs out into the precious fresh air) (After Godot finishes his 17th cup of coffee, he and Gumshoe leave the theatre once more, and the theatre is reduced to silence once again.) |
Author: | Viktoria von Karma [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
God, that was funny. There's one thing I'm still wondering about, though: Is that pizza guy intended to be German? Because he said "was" instead of "what" twice and also "fick" when it should be "fuck". Of course, those could also be some nonsensical typos, especially the latter, but still... |
Author: | Polly [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 6:10 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Great sporking Arrowlawn, that was hilarious. I've lost track of all the fics that have been posted here that are still available for sporking and which ones are or aren't claimed, but here are some more I found: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11803903/1/Turnabout-Dick https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11844014/1 ... olde-tokyo |
Author: | Ana R. [ Thu Mar 24, 2016 12:09 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Just in case anyone was wanting to take a DGS fic... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11856329/1 ... ut-gregson Same guy as the last 30 or so badfics. EDIT: HE'S BACK! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11792637/2 ... k-attorney |
Author: | Ana R. [ Sat Mar 26, 2016 6:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Title: phoenix wright dank attorney Rating: Weed. 'Nuff said. Author: Lord Jakkid166. Original Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11792637/1 ... k-attorney And now to meet the sporkers for today! So I heard this one has weed... I've never tried that. Should I...? No, you should not. You're no fun. (The sporkers enter the theater once again!) Speakers: Hello, everyone! SO sorry you haven't been here much recently! Edgeworth: Oh, no, I can assure you, it is no trouble at all! Phoenix: Can we go home now? Speakers: NOPE! You still have to read a quality fanfiction of your favorite author! Maya: Barrylawn? Speakers: You have horrible tastes. Especially considering you weren't here for Turnabout Goat. Edgeworth: That was just as much of a disaster as Trilo x Hotti! Speakers: Yeah, yeah, take your seats sporkers. Spoiler: Turnabout Dank Phoenix: Finally! Edgeworth: The lights aren't turning on... Speakers: NOT SO FAST, Phoenix Wright! You still have Chapter 2 to spork! Maya: Oh, come ON! Spoiler: Chapter 2 Speakers: Mainly because Jakkid has yet to upload the rest of this exciting adventure. Phoenix: Wait... he's inactive?! (Yes!!) Speakers: Nope! That last chapter was just uploaded yesterday. Phoenix: ....Oh. (That'd be too good to be true...) (The sporkers leave the theatre, to return some other time for another chapter of Turnabout Dank. Or wasn't it Dank Attorney? Meh. Whatever. The lights fade, and the theatre is left in silence once again.) |
Author: | Polly [ Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:57 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Who's ready for jakkid166 2: electric boogaloo? https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11866182/1 ... t-portal-2 @arrowlawn Another good sporking. jakkid also just posted chapter 3, just so you know. As for turnabout egg, I thought somebody was already doing it last time I asked, but I don't remember. I'll do turnabout dick or one of barrylawn's dozens of fics unless nobody is doing turnabout egg. |
Author: | Ana R. [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:36 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Mmmm. That new fic looks... mediocre, actually. Then again, that's what I thought about Turnabout Portal when it's first chapter was released (The pony one, not Turnabout Cake), so it still has potential. Anyway, I think WhatTheWhat was sporking it... maybe. But I don't remember seeing him since then, and I'm occupied with Turnabout Dank (which I'll get around to at some point), so go ahead and take it. That aside, the author of Damon Gant Escaps From Prisooooooon has been spotted online! https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11792637/ I mean, it's not exactly proof that another chapter is in the works, but... brace yourselves. |
Author: | Ana R. [ Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:55 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Alright, let's spork the last chapter of Turnabout Dank. Then maybe I'll do an old, unfinished sporking, or something. Eventually. Title: "Dankabout Turn" Chapter 3 Rating: Different name, same rating. Author: Jakkid166 Let's reintroduce the sporkers! Great. More of the weed adventure. I heard this is the last chapter! It better be, this fanfiction is simply awful. (The sporkers enter the theatre for the final time. Just kidding, this'll never end.) Edgeworth: SOME day, the police will catch you, Management! Then this madness WILL end! Speakers: Haha, no. We're above the law, Mr Edgeworth. Besides, not like we've done anything too illegal, y'know? Phoenix: You sent a man to the bottom of the Mariana Trench! Speakers: How, teleportation? Bahaha! Now then, I assume you've all read up on Turnabout Portal? Edgeworth: I can't undestand why you wanted us to, but yes, we have. Maya: It was really funny! Edgeworth: No, it was not! Speakers: Excellent! Now, take your seats, gentlemen and... Maya. Maya: What? Aren't I a "lady," Management? (The lights dim.) Spoiler: Chapter 3 Edgeworth: By which I mean "horrible!" What on earth was that? Speakers: Now, hold on, sporkers, there's still a couple of things left for you to do. Phoenix: And what's that? Speakers: I'm sure you'll be delighted to hear that we're wiping your memories of this fic and Turnabout Portal! Maya: Really?! That's great! Speakers: And we are doing so... so that when we get to the official sporking of Turnabout Portal you don't remember any of it! Edgeworth: Wh-WHAT?! That wasn't an official sp- Speakers: Don't worry, though. We though we'd preserve your memories of this fic by giving you all a copy of it's summary! (Three pieces of paper fall from the ceiling. The sporkers each get one.) Quote: phoenix wright gets hit by car and has to dEFEND THE MAN WHO HIT HIM WITH CAR, WILL HE DO IT Phoenix: But... But this has NOTHING to do wit- ZAP! |
Author: | TheGreatSnarkoo [ Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Great work on the sporking, ArrowLawn! Quote: dey smo3kd d gud ku$4 lader I swear I've heard that one before as well... wasn't that in the 420 Blazeit fic with Athena and Shelly de Killer? |
Author: | DrOcsid [ Tue Apr 05, 2016 4:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10876823/8 ... ISOOOOOOON Well. I did not expect this. |
Author: | Polly [ Tue Apr 05, 2016 10:02 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Sorry guys, I don't think I'll be getting around to doing another sporking anytime soon. Anybody is free to spork any fic I'd expressed interest in doing. I'll still be here reading other sporkings though. |
Author: | DrOcsid [ Sun Apr 10, 2016 7:38 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Another day, another chapter in the epic saga of… whatever you’d call jakkid166’s series of fics. phoenix wrighte CAKE attorney by jakkid166 Rating: Pretty standard for a jakkidfic, though this one seems to be a sort of prequel or prologue to the next one, turnabout portal. And now, our sporkers! Phoenix Wright! “Well, we can probably figure how this is gonna go.” Maya Fey! “Are we gonna be served cake while sporking this?” and lastly… Dick Gumshoe! “Did someone say cake? Because I’d sure as heck like some!” [The sporkers enter the theater.] Management: No, we are not serving cake. Maya: Aww… that’s a shame. Gumshoe: I know, right? I could eat a horse right now! At least, if I could afford one. Phoenix: ...Wait, are you saying you would literally eat a horse? Management: Please, enough with the small talk. We’re on a short time schedule, so accordingly, we picked a short fanfiction for you today. [The three sit down.] Spoiler: Phoenix: Well, that was something. Maya: Yeah, I just can’t wait to inevitably spork the sequel that almost definitely already exists… Management: Right you are! Turnabout Portal is coming to a sporking theater near you, very soon! Gumshoe: Oh, man! Does that mean more action scenes with me? Management: Yes, indeed. Gumshoe: I knew I’d make it big someday! [Gumshoe marches out of the theater proudly.] Phoenix: Well then, I’d say we should go get something to eat now. Maya: I’m in the mood for cake! [The two leave the sporking theater.] |
Author: | MissAmericanPie [ Mon Apr 18, 2016 12:42 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
So I'm new to this website, and I'm thinking about making a spork for the first time. Any advice for a well written spork? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:01 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Hello and welcome! I might be a little rusty since I haven't contributed anything in a while, but I can suggest a few things. First, there are the rules on the first post of the thread to follow. While they aren't actually set in stone or anything, the only one we do actually bend is the rule on "bad fanfiction only". Some of the fics we've sporked in this thread aren't that bad, but they definitely could use some improvement. Next, we like to mess around with these sporkers as much as possible, and we've come up with quite a few ways to work the Management in (or out) of the sporking. Usually, it's a rule of thumb that the Management shouldn't take over the entire session (unless something so serious happens, like the fic somehow makes everyone pass out or smth). Third, the rules already mention the in-character writing, but I'd like to add emphasis on this. There are some sporkings I've seen where characters act OOC intentionally for laughs, but generally, we don't, since we can leave the OOCness in the fics. As for what "OOC" means for each of the characters, that's another discussion for another day... In short, feel free to write anything as long as you're poking fun at the fic. It doesn't have to be as fully developed like a story, which would have a plot and character development, but it at least should have a set beginning, middle, end. Sometimes, I see sporkings that either jump too suddenly into the sporking or jump too quickly out of it without giving the fic a proper review, even if it's just made up of a few quick comments. I personally like to add a little twist to each of my sporkings, so they may feel like there's some story building up from them, but I have absolutely no plan on how things will develop or what things actually happen between different sporkings. I don't think I should anyway, since it doesn't follow the theater conventions, but if people are actually interested in seeing something come about from this theater, I think we could get together a group to discuss how that would work. |
Author: | Nerdowl [ Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
What the heck did I just read? Not sure whether anyone can do anything with this but I would like to see the characters reaction to whatever the heck this is. It's rated Mature and is a WrightWorth with the Magmata um... well... oh just look at the fic if you're old enough: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6553360 |
Author: | MissAmericanPie [ Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Hello and welcome! I might be a little rusty since I haven't contributed anything in a while, but I can suggest a few things. First, there are the rules on the first post of the thread to follow. While they aren't actually set in stone or anything, the only one we do actually bend is the rule on "bad fanfiction only". Some of the fics we've sporked in this thread aren't that bad, but they definitely could use some improvement. Next, we like to mess around with these sporkers as much as possible, and we've come up with quite a few ways to work the Management in (or out) of the sporking. Usually, it's a rule of thumb that the Management shouldn't take over the entire session (unless something so serious happens, like the fic somehow makes everyone pass out or smth). Third, the rules already mention the in-character writing, but I'd like to add emphasis on this. There are some sporkings I've seen where characters act OOC intentionally for laughs, but generally, we don't, since we can leave the OOCness in the fics. As for what "OOC" means for each of the characters, that's another discussion for another day... In short, feel free to write anything as long as you're poking fun at the fic. It doesn't have to be as fully developed like a story, which would have a plot and character development, but it at least should have a set beginning, middle, end. Sometimes, I see sporkings that either jump too suddenly into the sporking or jump too quickly out of it without giving the fic a proper review, even if it's just made up of a few quick comments. I personally like to add a little twist to each of my sporkings, so they may feel like there's some story building up from them, but I have absolutely no plan on how things will develop or what things actually happen between different sporkings. I don't think I should anyway, since it doesn't follow the theater conventions, but if people are actually interested in seeing something come about from this theater, I think we could get together a group to discuss how that would work. Thanks for the advice! I already have the fanfiction and sporkers chosen, so it should come out soon. |
Author: | Polly [ Fri Apr 22, 2016 1:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11865292/1 ... CONSPIRACY |
Author: | Planetbox [ Mon Apr 25, 2016 10:34 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Here it is… The thought of your first sporking fills you with DETERMINATION. Obligatory Undertale references aside, this is my first sporking so hopefully it will be somewhat not terrible. Crime, Love, and Burgers: An Ace Attorney + Undertale Crossover by 50Zoned. Part One Part Two Rating: I’m giving this one two Sahwits. It’s pretty terrible, but that should be expected from a fic that's bad on purpose. There are plenty of grammatical errors and the second chapter is almost impossible to read, along with characters being out of character, but at least the story is credible. Now to introduce our sporkers! Apollo Justice! “Here we go again.” Maya Fey! “Hmm… I wonder what this ‘Undertale’ thing is!” Miles Edgeworth! “...I wonder how many times I’ve been invited to this disturbing place.” And a special guest star! [Another wonderful day in the sporking theatre begins! Today’s lucky visitors are filing into the theatre, their faces filled with excitement!] Maya: Did you guys hear that! A special guest star! I wonder who it could be! Edgeworth: I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough. They called this fic a crossover fic, so I imagine it will be some strange being from another universe. Apollo: Speaking of which, this fic apparently crosses over with Undertale? Has anyone heard of it? Speakers: If you must know, Undertale is a popular RPG featuring a human trying to escape from an underground world. The game lets you choose whether to kill or spare the monsters, and has received critical acclaim for its story. Maya: That sounds like fun! Maybe this won’t be too bad! Edgeworth: If it wasn’t going to be too bad, then how did it end up in this theatre? Maya: Well… maybe the management put in the wrong tape? Speakers: Ha! Don’t be ridiculous! I would never make that mistake a third time! Apollo: A third time? Speakers: That’s confidential information. Anyway, our guest star should be arriving shortly, so you should probably stop mocking the management if you want to make a good first impression. [As if on cue, the entrance to the theatre is filled with a bright light, and when it clears, a tall and thin skeleton in some kind of armor appears in the entryway! The skeleton examines his environment, and then notices the three humans in front of him.] Papyrus: WOWIE! HUMANS! THIS IS MY CHANCE TO IMPRESS UNDYNE AND FINALLY JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! Edgeworth: …What on Earth? Apollo: ...I’ve already lost track of what’s going on. Maya: Uh… Hello! I’m Maya Fey! What’s your name! Papyrus: HELLO, MAYA THE SMALL HUMAN!! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WORLD-FAMOUS COOK AND SOON-TO-BE ROYAL GUARD!!! Apollo: Well, uh, hello. I’m Apollo Justice. Why aren’t you a royal guard yet? Papyrus: IN ORDER TO BECOME A ROYAL GUARD, I HAVE TO CAPTURE A HUMAN! AND YOU TWO WILL DO NICELY!! Edgeworth: Wait, two? There are three of us here! Papyrus: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THERE’S YOU, THE SMALL HUMAN, AND THAT HORNED DEMON OVER THERE. Apollo: Gee, thanks. Papyrus: ANYWAY, IF THE THREE OF YOU WOULD FOLLOW, I WILL TEST YOUR METTLE WITH DEVIOUS PUZZLES, SERVE YOU SPAGHETTI, AND THEN CAPTURE YOU! DOESN’T THAT SOUND FUN!!! Speakers: The management regrets to inform Papyrus that the kidnapping of valued sporkers is against the rules. You will have to find humans elsewhere. Papyrus: RATS. ALRIGHT, THAT’S FINE. WHERE ARE WE, ANYWAY? Edgeworth: We are in a cosmic torture chamber where innocent people are forced to watch horrifying videos ridiculing themselves. Papyrus: THANKS , FANCY HUMAN! I DIDN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND ALL OF THAT, BUT I DID HEAR THE PART ABOUT MOVIES! THAT SOUNDS FUN!! WHEN DOES THE MOVIE START? Edgeworth: …My name is Miles Edgeworth, not “fancy human”. Speakers: Enough getting to know each other! The movie is about to start, so get to your seats! [The veteran sporkers sat down together, with the skeleton following them once he figured out what was going on. After a few minutes the lights dimmed, and the fic began.] Spoiler: Crime, Love, and Burgers: Part One [As the lights dim and the movie stops playing, the skeleton appears to be tearing up at the events he just witnessed] Papyrus: *SNIFF* WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY!!! Apollo: Um… Are you crying? Papyrus: NO!! I’M NOT CRYING!!! I JUST… CAUGHT SOMETHING IN MY EYE!! Apollo: Uh… What did you catch? Papyrus: …TEARS!!! Speaker: The management wishes to remind Papyrus that quoting your respective form of media, as a lesser form of breaking the fourth wall, it strictly prohibited in this theatre! [Upon hearing these words, Papyrus suddenly appears outraged.] Papyrus: REALLY!! BUT WHAT IF I WANT TO SPREAD TALES OF MY GLORY!! ARE YOU SAYING I’M NOT ALLOWED TO REPEAT MY MOST FAMOUS QUOTES!!?? Speakers: Uh… I guess so. Papyrus: NO!! I REFUSE!! EVERYONE MUST KNOW OF MY HEROIC EXPLOITS!! Apollo: Uh… Does anyone have any idea what’s going on? Edgeworth: Unfortunately, I am just as confused as you are. Papyrus: I DON’T THINK I CAN STAND THIS HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT!! I’LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER!! [Papyrus gets up and attempts to leave the theatre. However, he is interrupted when he unexpectedly disappears in a bright flash of light. The other sporkers simply stare at the exit in confusion.] Maya: Uh… What happened to Papyrus? Speakers: I’m afraid that he has been kicked from the theatre for multiple rule violations. Not only that, but he was kind of getting on my nerves. But don’t worry, we’re currently setting things up to bring in a NEW special guest star in a matter of seconds! Apollo: Oh boy. Is it going to be another skeleton? Speakers: …I will neither confirm nor deny it! [Suddenly, another bright flash of light appears by the entrance! When it fades, the sporkers are greeted with… another skeleton! This one’s a little shorter though.] Apollo: …Why am I not surprised? Sans: ……uh… hi. could someone explain why i’m suddenly in a movie theatre with three humans? Speakers: You’ve been selected to watch a fanfiction with these three humans! Few others get to enjoy this rare offer. Edgeworth: That’s correct, because I’m constantly forced to attend these farces in place of other people. Speakers: Oh, don’t listen to him. He’s just being a Negative Nancy! Sans: …can i leave now? Speakers: Nonsense! Don’t you want to get to know your fellow viewers? Sans: ...not really. see ya. [The skeleton attempts to leave the theatre, but finds his passage blocked by an extremely large brick wall, which has just been built over the entrance.] Speakers: Why do you crossover characters always insist on leaving?! It’s extremely rude to leave your engagements early! Sans: …well i suppose i can’t argue with common courtesy, can i? the name’s sans. sans the skeleton. it’s nice to meet you… people. Maya: Hi there! My name is Maya Fey, and these are my friends Apollo Justice and Miles Edgeworth! They’re both lawyers! Edgeworth: …Charmed. Apollo: Nice to meet you… uh… Sans. Actually, there was another skeleton here earlier named Papyrus. Do you know him? Sans: papyrus? yeah, he’s my brother. he was here too? Maya: Yeah he was! He got kicked out though, and you apparently replaced him. Sans: oh. that’s cool. i guess. did he manage to get out unscathed? Apollo: Pretty much, excluding the fact that he now believes my defense mentor to be a murderous criminal. Sans: ...wait, what? Speakers: Enough small talk, gang! We don’t want these intermediate segments to last forever do we? I have a schedule to keep here! Everyone back to your seats! [The sporkers reluctantly sit back down, and the next chapter of the fic begins!] Spoiler: Crime, Love, and Burgers: Part Two [Suddenly, the theatre's lights brighten. The screen turns off, and the theatre doors reopen.] Apollo: What? It’s over already? Speakers: Yes. The author has yet to release another chapter. Sans: maybe the educational system is trying to stop them again? Speakers: Perhaps, but as of now, the story has not been continued. Maya: But that was such a cliffhanger! What’s going to happen next! Sans: i’d prefer to just pretend that never happened. my friends had their personalities ruined so thoroughly... Apollo: Hey, at least you weren’t Phoenix. The author randomly decided to make him evil, apparently. Edgeworth: And the spelling was simply atrocious. It’s clear the author was doing this on purpose, but that doesn’t make it look any less horrible. Maya: It least the story was kind of credible… even if the author kept shipping me with… that… uh… thing… Apollo: Let’s just agree that that was terrible and get out of here. Sans: yeah… i need to make sure that my brother isn’t trying to capture your friend. but first… why don’t we all get a bite to eat? i know this great joint called “grillby’s”. Edgeworth: That name sounds rather… unappealing… Do they have anything that isn’t fried? Sans: uh… you could get a nice, healthy, tasteless salad. i think. they also have burgers, and stuff like that. Maya: Count me in! Apollo: I’m pretty sure this would break some kind of interdimensional law, but whatever. Sans: cool. follow me. i know a shortcut. [And so, the four sporkers departed to unknown territories! However, the journey is not over yet! Many more exciting adventures await, next time in the sporking theatre!] Also, I had wanted to give Papyrus and Sans their actual fonts, but I couldn't figure out how to, so I didn't bother. Maybe if I find some way to, I can edit that in later. Considering that was my first sporking, constructive criticism would, of course, be appreciated. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Just a quick heads up, Apollo doesn't refer to Phoenix as 'Nick'. Apollo calls him 'Mr. Wright' instead. Good job for your first sporking! |
Author: | TheGreatSnarkoo [ Tue Apr 26, 2016 1:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
That was beautiful and I was cackling the entire time. There was something a little off about Sans, though. I think that he came off as just a little too verbose? Anyways, great sporking! |
Author: | Planetbox [ Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:32 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
cuteyounggirlplus wrote: Just a quick heads up, Apollo doesn't refer to Phoenix as 'Nick'. Apollo calls him 'Mr. Wright' instead. Good job for your first sporking! Yeah, I already knew that. I was intentionally having Apollo repeat the first part of Maya' line there, and forgot to change the way he referred the Phoenix too. Thanks for pointing that out! TheGreatSnarkoo wrote: That was beautiful and I was cackling the entire time. There was something a little off about Sans, though. I think that he came off as just a little too verbose? Anyways, great sporking! That doesn't surprise me. I don't actually have any experience writing Papyrus or Sans, so it makes sense that I wouldn't get their personalities perfect. Also, thanks for the compliments! |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Fri Apr 29, 2016 1:14 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Guess what I found on the kink meme! Here's a hint. https://pw-kink-meme.dreamwidth.org/4088.html?thread=10279928#cmt10279928 http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/8191.html?thread=105983 |
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