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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | dimentiorules [ Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I give up. I'm having too hard of a time thinking of stuff for the characters to say. The fic is very repetitive, so I don't really have a whole lot to work with. I could post what I have already finished if you really want to see it, but it really pales in comparison to your guys' stuff. How do you guys do it?! |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 12:36 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: @Pessimistic I'd like to see what you've gotten down so far on "Word of the Day", actually, but I'll read it after I'm finished with my first part. I didn't get that far, only a couple sentences in, in fact. the last usable bit was after "His index finger tapping impatiently against his arm". Should I send it to you via pm? Also, could we perhaps make a collective post to see who is working on what? For a start, I am still working on "Following the Law" as well as "phoenix wright - evil continues". Unless the latter was also pre-claimed by someone else. Could everyone repost and add their own current projects? PM is fine. I'm doing "Word of the Day". I only have one sporking in progress, as I'd rather not get mixed up among them as I go along. dimentiorules wrote: I give up. I'm having too hard of a time thinking of stuff for the characters to say. The fic is very repetitive, so I don't really have a whole lot to work with. I could post what I have already finished if you really want to see it, but it really pales in comparison to your guys' stuff. How do you guys do it?! D: Don't give up! If you need help with a sporking, you could ask someone Well, if you really don't want to keep working on it, you could pass a link to it to let someone else give it a shot. I have one already, and I believe I'll be stuck on it for a while, so I'll have to pass on another sporking for now. I don't mind editing someone else's, though. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 4:19 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT CRASHED AND LOST TWO AND HALF CHAPTERS WORTH OF SPORKING!! Okay, let's start this over. At least it gives me the opportunity to rewrite some of the jokes... *sigh* I put Gumshoe in it originally but ultimately I kept forgetting he was there, so... I'm going to rate this It's not badly-written but oh boy is it disturbing. Today's sporkers are... Miles Edgeworth! "Oh no." and Phoenix Wright! "Edgeworth's being punished, they said. We need you to keep him sane, they said. What about my sanity?" [We open up in our sporking theatre, where Phoenix Wright is already seated.] Phoenix: (It's kind of weird to be in here all alone... I know Edgeworth's supposed to be in here, but is it just the two of us?) *notices script, picks it up* Hmm... "Breathing Is A Necessity" by BringTheHawt... that sounds ominous. *flips through the first couple pages* ... *goes pale, throws script into another row* [The theatre doors open and Miles Edgeworth is thrown - literally thrown - unceremoniously in.] Edgeworth: Ggngh...! I can walk, you know! *gets up* Wright, do you have any idea what we're doing here? Phoenix: Uh, no. Edgeworth: *sighs, takes his seat* Speakers: For your information, Miles Edgeworth, you are here to receive your punishment for all of your misbehaving during Law Plus Chaos. Edgeworth: ...misbehaving? I sporked the entire thing! Speakers: Yes. You did. However, you broke the rules an unacceptable amount and even attempted to escape at one point. You're almost more trouble than you're worth. Edgeworth: In that case, release me! Speakers: Do you know what the word "almost" means? Phoenix: Um... are we supposed to have anyone else in here? Speakers: Er, there was a change of plans. You two are on your own. Edgeworth: ... Phoenix: Joy. [The lights dim.] Edgeworth: If this is something they chose specifically to punish me... I feel afraid, Wright. Phoenix: Yeah... Quote: It was a ridiculous little ploy: Damon insisting Edgeworth whore himself for the police department's ... "cooperation" in persecuting criminals. Edgeworth: ......... Phoenix: So, uh, I guess you can see where this going. Edgeworth: Unfortunately. Quote: A silver brow quirked upward at the rather pitiful threat. "Tell me, honestly, Chief Gant. Do you take yourself, seriously?" Phoenix: Maybe we can focus instead on the overabundance of commas. Edgeworth: Somehow, I don't think that strategy will last very long. Quote: Damon procured his trademark smile, wide and ridiculous. "Now now, Worthy," with one large step forward, "I'm only looking for any excuse to fuck you. And, trust me," as fingers roughly took Edgeworth's chin, tilting the other's face toward his, "you don't want me seeking out ways to hurt you, your career, your friends, out of spite." Both: ... Edgeworth: Why is it always me in fics like these? Phoenix: I guess that's just what happens when you're a fan-favorite. Edgeworth: ...don't you occasionally top me in polls? Phoenix: Um... Speakers: Don't worry, Phoenix Wright. We're sure we can find a similar fic that stars you. Phoenix: This is your fault, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: I'm not the one who made a comment about popularity. Speakers: And stop breaking the fourth wall. Quote: "Hn." A moment ago, Edgeworth would have sneered an insult. But, a moment ago, Gant was standing more than three feet away from him, not touching his face. The kind of effect proximity had on the situation was quite remarkable. Too close, now. At this range Edgeworth could literally feel the weight of Gant's possessive stare on his flesh. "It's your fault, anyway," Gant decided, sliding his thumb across Miles' pale lower lip, "far too pretty." Phoenix: ... *snickers* Edgeworth: ...I think I'm having flashbacks to "pretty pretty prosecutor". Phoenix: I can't believe you still remember that. Quote: Edgeworth pulled from the other's grasp in a very quick motion. "My fault. Of course." The prosecutor decided not to let the situation fall entirely out of his control. There was more than enough room to maneuver. Damon was lusting for him, after all. Edgeworth could use that. "Do you really think-" "-Take off your pants, Gant," Edgeworth interrupted. Edgeworth: ........ Phoenix: Um, Edgeworth? Edgeworth: What. Phoenix: I think the situation fell entirely out of your control. Edgeworth: Yes, I noticed, thank you. Quote: That caused the police chief to pause. Wondering if that's what he heard, wondering if that's what he wanted to hear, wondering if what he may have heard was true. A sly smile as Edgeworth titled his head. That dumbstruck look suited Gant, he decided. "Unless you expect me to pleasure you with them on," to alleviate the doubt that usurped Gant's mind. Phoenix: Is this actually happening? Edgeworth: I have a new question. Why is it always Gant in fics like these? Phoenix: I think he traumatized a lot of fans... I know he certainly traumatized me. Edgeworth: At least you didn't have to work with him for several years. Speakers: The Management would like to request that the two of you stop breaking the fourth wall. Quote: It took nearly a minute for Gant's expression to adopt a smile. Pleased with Edgeworth's sudden compliance, he decided. He stepped forward, prepared to start ripping the prosecutor's clothes off before a hand firmly pressed against his chest, halting his advance. "I said, take off your pants, Gant," as Miles' tone and look became steel. And it was the second time. The second time Miles' forwardness surprised him. After a still moment, the police chief roared. Gant made a big show of it, throwing his head back, clapping his hand. Miles' hand dropped, jaw clenched, revealing his annoyance for that uproarious laughter: Loud and full of teeth. Phoenix: I think this fic is traumatizing me, too. Edgeworth: I don't see you up there. Speakers: Yet. Both: (I should have know they had an ulterior motive...) Quote: "That confidence, you're feigning ..." he unleashed an amused snort before continuing, "so well-versed from all that courtroom foreplay you've entertained juries with." Damon eyed the younger man and licked his upper lip. Still smiling. "But there's no jury here, Worthy. Only me, and I'm not convinced." Internally, Edgeworth felt his will quiver. On the surface, no change in his own expression. Any sign of weakness may arouse Gant's desire for dominance, and that ... Well. Edgeworth had no desire to struggle underneath Damon's supreme lust. By challenging Gant's authority, he was protecting himself. Phoenix: How the heck are you "protecting" yourself here? Edgeworth: ...what? Sorry, I was distracted by the fact that it says "courtroom foreplay" up there. Phoenix: Huh?? ...so it does. Quote: "Don't oblige me, then. I'll be returning to the Prosecution's Office ... inform me when you find a legitimate piece of blackmail," turning toward the entrance, "Hollow threats aren't effective outside of poorly-scripted pornography, you see." Phoenix: The fic has become self-aware! Run, Edgeworth! Edgeworth: Very funny, Wright. That's exactly why I'm in here in the first place. Phoenix: Oh, right. ...meanwhile, I'm in here because of you. Edgeworth: If you're expecting an apology, go ask for one from the people who actually put you in here. Quote: A quick movement and Gant held Miles' wrist, preventing escape, though the touch was gentle and inoffensive. Miles glanced over his shoulder, "Do it." Gant's hands moved to his own belt, offering a small smile as he unfastened it. Edgeworth had, unintentionally, revealed something that truly, truly pleased the police chief. If the prosecutor wasn't cooperating due to Damon's little threat, then Edgeworth wanted sex. The chief was just as pleased with the thought of an eager, sexually-frustrated partner as he was a falsely-reluctant "unwilling" whore. Edgeworth: ... *glaring at screen* Phoenix: I don't think the fic is going to react, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: *glares at Phoenix instead* Phoenix: ... Quote: "Is this what you wanted to see, Worthy?" Pushing his pants and boxers downward, Both: *scream, cover eyes* [Gant has an abnormally large penis. Edgeworth is impressed, but pretends not to be.] Quote: Gant growled before he lashed out, heatedly, snatching the other's arm. Before Miles could effectively enact any kind of physical or verbal response, he was brutishly slapped into the wall. "Umphh," he groaned, surprised. Gant was such a powerful beast ... Edgeworth: Because me having consensual sex with Gant wouldn't have been disturbing enough. Phoenix: Wasn't he already blackmailing you? Kind of? Edgeworth: ...true. [Edgeworth gives Gant a blowjob.] Phoenix: Speaking of disturbing... [Edgeworth doesn't like Gant touching his hair, so Gant chokes him.] Edgeworth: At least that means I stopped doing... distasteful things to him. Speaker: No, we mean he choked you on his penis. Edgeworth: ........ Phoenix: I really didn't want that mental image. [Edgeworth bites Gant's penis.] Phoenix: ...clean off, I hope. Edgeworth: Wright... Phoenix: I refuse to take accountability for what comes out of my mouth in here. Edgeworth: In here, as in court...? Phoenix: Oh, shut up. Quote: "What? Don't tell me you're not enjoying this ... " He taunted, pressing a foot between Edgeworth's thighs, massaging the semi-erection he found. Annoyed by many factors(Damon's accusation, its implications and his inability to verbally respond), Miles bit him again. Both: ... Phoenix: I guess Gant can't take a hint. Edgeworth: Kill me now... [Gant finishes, which chokes Edgeworth again.] Quote: Course, Gant was too amused, too pleased, at the sight of Miles on his knees, sputtering jizz, to regret not offering the other some kind of warning. Phoenix: Eww. That was not something I wanted to see. Edgeworth: Then we are in agreement. Quote: He reached forward to drag Edgeworth's shuddering form onto the bed, on top of Gant's massive body. Phoenix: Where did the bed come from? Edgeworth: I assume it was there the whole time... but why exactly was I alone with Damon Gant of all people in a place with a bed in the first place...? Phoenix: Or alone with Damon Gant in general. Edgeworth: This fic would have been so much more tolerable if Gant had killed me and the remaining chapters were you running around solving my murder. Phoenix: Oh, very funny, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: (I was being serious.) Quote: The smaller man, still coughing, got onto all fours to prevent himself from lying across Damon's chest. He was a tad too pissed to adopt such an affectionate position with the cocky beast, though the police chief grabbed his hips, possessively. When Edgeworth could inhale comfortably, he glared at Gant's smiling face beneath him, before smacking his curled knuckles across the other's face. Edgeworth: That is the least threatening description of a punch I have ever seen. Phoenix: Which means it's probably pretty accurate. Edgeworth: ...you are sitting right next to me. I can demonstrate on you if I so choose. Phoenix: Please, not the face. Quote: "I counted two attempts to kill me, you ridiculous bastard," he hissed, "Breathing is a necessity. Sucking your cock, is not." Edgeworth: That was not a very subtle title drop. Phoenix: This fic has a chapter called "Smack Me with the Desklamp", though... Edgeworth: ...how exactly do you know this? Phoenix: ... Quote: Gant, being composed entirely of beef and boulders, Phoenix: Look, another mental image I didn't want. Edgeworth: This entire fic is mental images we don't want. Quote: didn't even flinch at the attack. Instead, he blinked, disturbingly silent. After an uncomfortable moment, he smiled. "So hard to take your comments seriously with my cum dribbling down your chin, Worthy." Miles, furious, wiped his face with the back of his own hand before attempting to crawl off the bed, but Gant held him still. "Let go," he muttered, frustrated, trying to tug away from those hands. Gant rolled over, dragging Edgeworth along, trapping the smaller man beneath him. Edgeworth: *goes even paler* Phoenix: I guess all the author needed to do now was remove all possible ambiguity. [The ambiguity remains intact as Gant gives Edgeworth a blowjob.] Phoenix: Nope. I call them like I see them. You just raped like three times, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: Wouldn't it be two? Phoenix: I don't want to count. Spoiler: The next four chapters |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:19 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Daaang, Airey. I could actually picture them going more and more insane as the sporking progressed. Still, I can't help but feel that the Management seems a little too social with these guys. However, given that this IS a special edition punishment sporking, I'll be lenient with it and let it slide. I feel like adding in Gumshoe or a third person would have livened it up a bit, though. It's fun hearing these two converse, but there's not a lot of variety of personalities with just two. Also, I'd like to ask: are these two set in the original trilogy timeline or DD's? I feel like they don't really act like how you'd expect them to be as their older counterparts, but I guess it's not too bad, since they are alone. Lastly, just as a technicality, I see you cut out some explicit language with , but there was one instance of the F-bomb that wasn't. And now I'm not sure I should submit my work just yet. I'm curious to see what happens when it's time for Phoenix's punishment sporking... and Edgeworth would probably be around to join him. These two are just inseparable. Edit: Finally finished revising the first two chapters of mine. Shall I deliver it in here now or save it in case someone has something to post first? |
Author: | dimentiorules [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:32 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm done! Let's see how you guys like this sporking. Our sporkers are: Phoenix Wright! "Why do I sometimes wish I've never been born?" Apollo Justice! "Hopefully this isn't as bad as last time." Klavier Gavin! "Why do I feel an overwhelming sense of dread? And Trucy Wright! "Cheer up, prosecutor Gavin, it'll be okay! *The sporking theater is quiet. Two men and a teenage girl are already in their seats. Another man comes in, and sits down next to them* Klavier: So, what is this fic about? Phoenix: We weren't told much. All that we know is that it apparently has to do with rape and underage sex. Apollo: So nothing we haven't already sat through before. * The lights dim, and the fic starts* Quote: What Dreams May Come Apollo: More like nightmares. Quote: Klavier had always reassured himself that his dreams meant nothing, even since those first days of tentative exploration, the wonder of discovery and the fear of getting caught. Simple, mindless dreams of how soft a woman’s breasts were supposed to be, or vague images of just being close to another warm body. True love’s first kiss, and something about weddings, after the dragons were slain. Klavier:...And we're off to a great start already. Apollo: I never knew that you slew dragons, Prosecutor Gavin! Phoenix: That's the part of the paragraph you decided to focus on? Apollo: I guess I've been through enough of these that I've gotten used to stuff like this. Dragon slaying is not something that usually comes up here. Quote: As he grew older, those vague ideas took on a more technical note, fed by classes and dull reading. Anatomy. The insertion of a man’s penis into a woman’s vagina. He understood things better. Getting hard or wet. Where babies came from. But it was hard to think of the pleasures of his dreams so coldly. Trucy: Is this what you thought about in your actual childhood, Prosecutor Gavin? Klavier: What?! Of course not! I would never- Phoenix: Relax, Klavier, we just got started with this. Klavier: ...Right. Quote: He slowly began to understand the words around him. Slut. Blow. Tits. Kind of vulgar, but they made him excited when he heard them from the older kids. He began to dream of his own pleasure. A faceless body, kneeling, subservient to his every whim. Harsh, wild sex that could only be called fucking. A servant, a slave, who would blow him under his desk and bend over backwards to fulfill every desire. Klavier: What is with these fics and making me want slaves?! Apollo: At least it's not making you the slave. Quote: …although, some odd, strange nights, he couldn’t help but think of himself as the slave. Bound. Helpless. Subject to his master’s every whim. Or his mistress’. Forced to do every naughty thing he’d ever heard of and enjoy it. Forced to enjoy everything inflicted on his helpless body without guilt. Apollo: I stand corrected. Klavier: *Sweats profusely* Quote: He began to realize his own strange tendencies. For one, there was never a huge moment of discovery. He simply thought about it, and, really, it didn’t matter if he dreamed of boys or girls. He just hadn’t known two men could…do that. But it came to him as naturally as breathing. For a while, in fact, his favorite fantasy was one of having the soft, supple breasts of a woman beneath him and the hard, muscular body of a man behind him, and simply enjoying both without having to decide. Trucy: I didn't know you were into this sort of thing, Prosecutor Gavin! Klavier: That's... not me! That's just some punk pretending to be me! Apollo: Suuuure it is. *The fic continues to describe his fantasies in great detail.* Quote: He discovered the joys of the Internet, even as his dreams grew more warped. Because, as he began to fantasize about cute, innocent virgins, they inevitably grew younger, and younger, until he couldn’t even admit to himself that he was thinking of children. Trucy: *Gets up and sits several seats away from Klavier* Klavier: Ngghhh! And here I thought my image couldn't be more damaged than it was during Blackmail! Phoenix: No matter how bad things seem, they can always get worse. Trust me, I know from experience. Quote: Other times they grew older, and older — old enough to be a father, a teacher, a boss at work. His imagined slaves and harems grew subject to longer bouts of sexual torture, and they adored him for it. His thoughts grew twisted and dark some days, even as he writhed and jerked on the bed. There were days when nothing else WORKED. Days when romance and love only gave him an endless, aching yearning, but a few moments of the dirtiest, sickest pleasure made him see stars. Klavier:..... Trucy: Prosecutor Gavin, are you twitching? Apollo: Wouldn't you be uncomfortable in this situation? Quote: He would have worried, if he admitted to himself just how depraved some of his fantasies were. How he cornered unwilling men and women and forced them, made them cry sometimes, made them beg others. Even more filthy were the dreams were he imagined himself being forced, raped, made to beg and cry himself. It was unbearably arousing. Why? Klavier: Here's a better question: Why do these fic writers seem to think that I'm some sort of twisted pervert?! This is the second one in a row! Apollo: Probably a coincidence. Maybe. Quote: Whips, chains, and toys began to pepper his dreams. More torture. Fetishes. He’d spend what seemed like hours, late at night, trying to sleep, obsessing over every detail of a beautiful foot, a neck, a hand with long, delicate fingers that glittered with polish. Long hair he could play with, or short, wild hair he could barely grasp. Darker obsessions. Choking, once. Whipping, another. The pain and pleasure of strange, alien creatures with extra arms or tongues or tentacles. Massive groups of people, orgies, or being forced to serve one person after another, like a whore. All of it, as his hands guiltily squeezed and stroked the flesh between his legs, every night, in the dark, lonely bed he slept in. Phoenix: Like I said, it can always get worse. Klavier: Nggh! *The fic continues to describe his psyche* Quote: Tonight was no different. He was bound to his bed. He’d felt especially angry today, angry at classmates who couldn’t keep up and idiots who couldn’t drive and…he wanted to strike out, to hurt them. He wanted to forced each one down and take his pleasure of them, leave them crying and bleeding and…no. No. Klavier: Seriously, what have I done that makes people think I'm some sort of sexual predator?! Phoenix: Well, I've been seeing you eyeing Trucy in an odd way. Trucy: Prosecutor Gavin! I didn't know you'd- Phoenix: Relax, I'm only joking. Klavier:.... Quote: So, in his mind, his master berated him. Weak. He should be punished for such bad thoughts. He mentally began to construct his lover for that nights. Tall. Strong. Long, torturous fingers, very smooth, with long, perfect nails. A very large dick, of course, for making him ache. Piercing eyes. What else? Longer hair, he imagined. Long enough to tease and torture him with. Kind of like his own. Handsomely dressed. A full suit, maybe? So he could be calm and composed while he tortured him. Phoenix: Wait, so who is this "master"? Apollo: I'd got a feeling I know, but... no. There's no way this fic could.... Phoenix: Never underestimate the perversity of these people. Quote: Klavier licked his lips. He was already feeling warm, pretending he was bound to the bed, unable to move, looking up into those dark, cruel eyes. Fingers slowly traced the side of his neck, and he pretended they weren’t his own. Down, to his chest, to dark nipples that always felt kind of funny when he squeezed them. It wasn’t fiery, burning pleasure, but it made him feel warm inside. His lover laughed at him. So easily turned on. He squeezed harder, tugging at the stiff little peaks, moving one hand to his mouth to slick the nipple with saliva, and with the other, poking with his long fingernails. Phoenix: So, wait, is there really another person here, or is it all in his head? Apollo: Well, if he's able to lick his own nipples, he must be pretty flexible. Trucy: So, prosecutor gavin, are you able to do that? Klavier:..... Quote: Torturous. His lover’s sharp hands, playing with his chest, but not moving down, down where he needed to be touched. He saw flashes of his lover’s hands, flashes of those eyes, but the man — a man, of course, to punish him — was hidden in the shadows. He looked like… Klavier: This fic isn't going where I think it's going, is it? Apollo: I think it is. Klavier: Ngggh! *The fic continues to describe his fantasy* Quote: Strong hands grabbed him, and he was against the bed once more. Strong hands pulled him away from his own pleasure. A head — but not a face, he couldn’t see the face — kissed his belly, and long, blond hair — just like his own, just as he’d imagined — fluttered and danced against his skin. Torment. Klavier: No... NO! It can't be! Apollo: I'm starting to wonder if the author of this fic is just using Prosecutor Gavin as a scapegoat for their own perverse fantasies. Phoenix: Probably. Quote: His lover needed a name. Something for him to cry out. What name could he give someone of his own creation? Cruel, and cold, knowing every inch of him so intimately and torturously… Lord. Master. He let them fall from his lips, but his lover chuckled. You know who I am, don’t you? his lover whispered. Apollo:....That's it, all is lost. Klavier: Easy for you to say, Herr Forehead, you're not the one who's image is being spoiled here! Quote: Klavier smiled. You’re my fantasy for tonight, he thought, letting his fingers squirm back down his legs. He played with the hot sacs of flesh hanging between his legs and groaned at the sensation. He was getting close now. But in his mind, it was his lover, spreading his legs deliciously wide, teasing him, tormenting him with bright WHITE TEETH arranged in a sadistic smile. You know. Klavier’s hands were held tightly. He couldn’t move them. Phoenix: Now I'm even more confused as to whether this is real or just inside his head. Quote: You know. You know. Again and again. Don’t deny it any longer. Those cold hands at his belly…were scarred. And those hard eyes were covered with glass. That hair, so like his own… Klavier: STOP! DON'T GO ANY FURTHER! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE! Phoenix: The fic can't hear you. Quote: No, he thought. He was feeling SICK. Queasy. No, this was going too far, even for his most deranged, sickening fantasies. But his hands began to move again, as if he could not longer control them. He was close…so close… Apollo: So, wait, is he actually being possessed or something? This is seeming more than just a fantasy. Phoenix: He can't be possessed, Kristoph isn't dead yet. At least, not at the time this fic supposedly takes place. Speaker: MANAGEMENT WOULD LIKE TO INFORM PHOENIX WRIGHT THAT SPOILERS ARE NOT PERMITTED! Quote: His lover’s hands were covering his own, forcing him on, moving his hands faster, tighter, until it was as much pain as pleasure, but he couldn’t reach it…he was so close but he couldn’t reach it…! Naughty boy, a velvet voice whispered in his ear. How I love you. How I adore you. Warm lips kissed him, and, for a moment, it felt so real. So much that he lost his breath. He loved him. He loved him. Klavier:....Herr Forehead. Apollo: What? Klavier: Take that tie of yours and strangle me. Apollo: What?! Phoenix: Relax, he's only kidding, right? Klavier:..... Y Quote: ou’re mine, the phantom whispered, and Klavier’s heart raced. Him, so dirty, so debauched. So weak. You’ve always been mine. You will always be mine. I love you. No matter what. That long, hard body embraced him, even as those hands atop his own, were pumping him, harder, making him dance at the edge of a great abyss. Holding him safe, and close, and loved. No matter what. “BROTHER,” Klavier whimpered, sobbed, into the darkness. A single finger brushed his lips. “Good boy.” Klavier: I'm not joking, Herr Forehead! Take your tie, and end this before I lose my sanity! Apollo: Prosecutor Gavin! You have to go on! The fic has to be almost over! Klavier:.....Nggh! Quote: Klavier awoke the next morning, the last bits of the dream, the fantasy, still in his mind. He cursed those days where his dreams were clear as day, and shoved them out of his mind. He would forget. Forget all of it. Forget it, forever. Phoenix: See, Klavier? Even fic you wants to forget this ever happened. Klavier: That's not making me feel any better. Quote: He stumbled towards the kitchen, half-awake. “Good morning, Klavier,” someone said behind him, and he turned to see Kristoph — perfect Kristoph — smiling at him. “You’re back!” he said in shock. “I thought you weren’t due back for another day!” For a moment, he forgot himself, and rushed to hold his big brother tightly, as if he was a child again. Kristoph’s warm arms always made him feel… Klavier: NOOOOOOOOOO! Quote: …no, he wouldn’t think that. Klavier:....Please, just let this be over soon. Phoenix: Actually, we still have a ways to go. Klavier:...Ngghh! Quote: “We had to cancel that last bit of our trip because of bad weather,” Kristoph said cheerfully. He dragged Klavier to the kitchen and sat him down with some fresh coffee. Phoenix: Given what we've seen so far, he wouldn't have to "drag" you anywhere, you'd just come immediately. Klavier:....It's times like this where I can't tell if you're joking or not. Apollo: It's probably for the best. Quote: "Trying to keep me short, mm?” Klavier teased. He was nearly as tall as Kristoph, and in another year or two… He chuckled. Not that Kristoph would ever see him as anything but his little brother. Klavier: Wait, exactly how old am I supposed to be, here? Apollo: That's a question best left unanswered, I think. “ Quote: Of course,” Kristoph replied. He leaned over the other side of their counter, and just smiled. “What?” Klavier asked. “Nothing, really,” Kristoph replied. “I was just thinking you haven’t changed at all. I remember you used to cry and cry whenever I had to leave. And then,” he smiled again, “when I came back, Mother and Father always had me ask, ‘were you a good boy while I was away, brother?’” Apollo: Wait, where are your parents, anyway, if you're supposed to be at the very least a teenager? Is Kristoph the one raising you? Klavier: If he was the one raising me, I don't think I'd be sitting here, talking to you right now. Quote: Klavier went stiff. Naughty boy,, echoed in his head. He felt a twinge in his stomach, a constriction in his throat. Just a dream. A stupid dream. Phoenix: Wait, by stiff, do they mean his body went stiff, or- Klavier: Don't finish that sentence. Quote: “Well?” He looked up at Kristoph’s smiling face, uncomprehending. Long, delicate fingers, and a terribly scarred hand slid over his own, and Kristoph said softly, “Were you a good boy?” Apollo: He'd probably like it better if you weren't, if you catch my drift. Klavier: Please, Herr Forehead, it's bad enough that this fic is attacking my pride, I don't need you two doing it as well! Quote: Klavier nearly fell out of his seat trying to get up, get away. “Of…of course,” he mumbled. “Really?” Kristoph’s eyes were sparkling, laughing. “You don’t sound sure." “Oh! Your bags…should I go get them?” Klavier wanted to change the subject, and quickly. Trucy: Prosecutor Gavin, do you really feel this way towards your brother? Klavier:NO! I don't need you doing it, too! Quote: Kristoph waved his hand dismissively. “I brought them in already,” he said. “I didn’t want to wake you up.” He turned back to the stove, humming something to himself, starting on their breakfast as if nothing was wrong. Wake him…oh god. No. No way. “I’ll be right back,” Klavier said, and went rushing to the bathroom. He felt sick again. Apollo: Wait, again? He was sick before? Klavier: Maybe mentally sick, ja? Quote: Kristoph’s door was open. That sick feeling was rising up again as he peeked into the door. Kristoph’s bags were there in a neat pile. Everything was left as it had been before he left. Every… Wait. Kristoph’s bed was rumpled a bit. Klavier:...I hope they're not implying what I think they're implying. Apollo: Do you really expect them not to be? Quote: "Bro…” His voice drifted off; ugly, he thought, as he came back to the kitchen. “Brother. When did you get back last night?” “A little after midnight, I believe,” Kristoph said. He smiled as he brought over two steaming mugs of fresh coffee, and took a long drink. His mouth… Klavier shook his head. No. No, he was not going to watch his brother’s mouth like that. Klavier: Wait, so now I get pleasure out of watching his MOUTH?! Apollo: Maybe it means that you want to- Klavier: YES! I GET IT! EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT TO! Quote: Are you not feeling well, Klavier? You seem a little pale.” Kristoph’s hand was cool against his forehead. Long fingers. Smooth skin. Klavier suddenly felt very hot. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, pulling away. “I…I didn’t SLEEP WELL.” He was sure to sleep even worse tonight. “I heard you moaning and tossing about,” Kristoph said softly. He moved closer, as if to touch Klavier again. “Are you sure you’re not ill?” Klavier: I don't like where this is going. Phoenix: Did you ever? Quote: “N-no,” Klavier nearly squeaked. He wanted to die. Now. Klavier: My thoughts exactly. Quote: “I don’t believe you,” Kristoph said, and Klavier backed into a wall. He hadn’t even noticed he was trying to get away. Kristoph firmly planted an arm on either side of him. “Tell me the truth, Klavier.” “It was a dream,” Klavier choked out. Kristoph was gazing down at him, suddenly seeming so much bigger and older. Trapping him. Holding him bound against the wall and…no, that gasp of breath was out of fear, not…not… Klavier: Wait, am I going to tell him the dream?! Trucy: You should always tell your family this sort of thing, right Daddy? Phoenix: Not in this situation. Quote: Kristoph’s arms closed around him, holding him tightly. “A bad dream?” Kristoph said gently. “I remember how you used to come crying into my bed. I used to hold you like this, remember?” “We’re not children anymore, Kristoph!” Klavier yelled, and pushed Kristoph away, gasping. Kristoph dusted himself off. “Indeed,” he said, a little stiffly. “A fifteen-year-old boy is far more grown up than the thirteen-year-old who wouldn’t let me go at night.” All:.... Klavier: I'm only FIFTEEN?! Apollo: And here I thought the implications couldn't possibly get any worse. Quote: Guilt washed over him. “BROTHER…I’m…I’m so sorry,” he said. Idiot. Filthy, useless idiot, he berated himself, but the voice was too much like Kristoph’s, the eyes too much like Kristoph’s disapproving glare, the hands… “Forgive me, please…” Kristoph’s eyes stared coldly at him for a moment, before he broke back down to his usual smile, and motioned for Klavier to come forward. Klavier nearly ran into his arms. Brother. His brother who loved him and put up with all of his stupid mistakes. Kristoph gently stroked his hair. “Did you want to tell me about it?” “I can’t,” Klavier said. “Please…” Klavier: Please don't tell him, fic me. Please, for my own sanity. Phoenix: You know he can't hear you. “It’s better to get these things out. I won’t laugh. You know I won’t laugh.” Quote: Kristoph’s voice was so reassuring, no different than any other night he’d run, terrified, crying, into his beloved older brother’s bed after a scary movie or a strange noise. Kristoph’s eyes were so kind. “It’s alright,” he said, warm and soothing. “You can tell me anything. I’ll always be here for you. I love you, Klavier,” he said, and Klavier wanted to melt. He loved Kristoph, adored Kristoph, barely deserved his love. “I’m your BROTHER, after all. I’ll always be your brother.” Phoenix: Did the author of this fic even know the things Kristoph did?! Apollo: Probably, the sadism of these people knows know bounds. Quote: Why did his kindness have to be such cruelty? Apollo:...Huh? What the heck does THAT mean? Klavier: At least it's almost over, by the looks of things. Quote: …” His mouth felt like cotton. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t. Not without destroying everything. “Trust me, Klavier,” Kristoph said. “Whatever it is…” “I…I dreamed of you,” Klavier whispered. Klavier: NOOOOOO! Phoenix: Just take a deep breath, it's almost over. Quote: Oh?” Kristoph said, raising an eyebrow elegantly. “Well, I’m right here. Whatever you saw, you don’t need to worry.” “It wasn’t…a bad dream,” Klavier said. When Kristoph said nothing, he managed, “it was…a good dream. A…really good dream.” “Ah,” was all Kristoph said. Klavier’s eyes were beginning to sting. “I’m sorry,” he said, and his voice was so small and so weak. Klavier: We need to reconsider what constitutes a "good" dream. Apollo: I agree. Quote: Kristoph simply hugged him close again, and, guiltily, he relished in that warmth, that unconditional love. His brother would forgive him anything, even this…SICKNESS. “You’re not the only one who has dreams, Klavier,” Kristoph said finally. Klavier looked up at him. Kristoph was staring at the wall, his eyes distant and unfocused, as if he were remembering something from far away or long ago. He caught his brother’s look, and gave him a soft smile. “But it is a rare opportunity to truly live them.” Klavier: NO! Don't tell me he's going to do what I think he's going to do. Quote: What?” Klavier asked, bewildered. “Brother, I don’t think you understand…” Kristoph merely chuckled. Gently, he pulled them apart. “Someday, you’ll understand, Klavier,” he said. He gave Klavier a soft, oddly lingering kiss on the forehead. Klavier’s finger touched the wet spot. Something nagged the back of his mind. Something…. “Ah, yes,” Kristoph said suddenly, all smiles again. WHITE TEETH glistened. “Do remember to lock your door.” Klavier: Is he... Implying he's going to rape me?! *The lights come on in the sporking theater* Klavier: Thank god that is finally over, ja? Apollo: I agree. Hopefully the next fic is a somewhat decent one. Phoenix: I doubt it. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 1:10 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Bahahahahaha poor Klavier. Maybe he deserves a break, too... just kidding. We all know there's more where that came from. @Rubia: I imagined that they were probably DD-era but they (especially Phoenix) ended up devolving into more trilogy-era because they were alone. I'll have another go at putting Gumshoe in it for the next part, so they'll both probably act more their age there. (Also the thing wasn't me cutting language, it was just genuine instances of the fic using the word "justice" that I wasn't sure how to work around. But that is actually a great idea and now I want to do it... hmm...) And you should totally post uour spork. I wanna see it! |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 9:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@dimentio Hey, that wasn't bad at all! For a moment there, you made it seem like you were struggling with it, but I don't see how you'd need help. @Airey Comments, questions, criticisms welcome! Really, if there's anything I could improve on, let me know. Word of the Day Rating: This collection of drabbles is obviously written for laughs, so I won't be too harsh with it. Nonetheless, the author doesn't seem to know how to write a proper fic without resorting to massive OOCness and little word crimes that escape a spelling/grammar checker. -------------------------------------- Our sporkers today arrive on schedule for their usual schadenfreude-fraught routine. When they arrive, however, they encounter an odd machine sitting in the middle of the theater lobby. The speakers promptly speak up. Speakers: Welcome back, fellow sporkers! Please pay no mind to the strange contraption sitting in everyone's view for now. First, we have new guests to introduce! Roll call! Apollo Justice! Is there some way out of here? I have toilet cleaning to do, thanks. Athena Cykes! No, you don't! I already did it this morning! Besides, it could actually be fun in here! Trucy Wright! New guests? Awesome! Maybe it's about time for the classic Mr. Hat to make his triumphant return! And as her debut in the theater, Juniper Woods! Um... H-hello, everyone! I-I'm glad to be joining you today! And as their debut as well, Simon Blackquill and Taka! *screech* ...So this is the ill-reputed Sporking Theater? To be honest, I'm a little disappointed so far. Athena: Simon! Glad you could make it! Trucy: ...Maybe I should leave Mr. Hat out of this. Apollo: Prosecutor Blackquill? What's he doing here? Blackquill: I'm here by the Chief Prosecutor's request to act as a temporary substitute for him. Apollo: Substitute? Blackquill: He has taken a short leave for today. He did not specify his reasons. Speakers: That is indeed a disappointment, but rest assured, Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright will be arriving soon enough. Trucy: Oh, even Daddy's coming? Athena: The more, the merrier, right? Apollo: Somehow, I doubt it. Speakers: In the meantime, the show is up and ready for an audience! Please pick up a copy of the memo on today's presentation and make your way in! Relax and enjoy your stay! Juniper: ...*fidget* Athena: You okay, Junie? Juniper: I'm okay. It's just... you know, nerves... Athena: Hmm... well, maybe you ought to sit next to Apollo when we head in! Juniper: Th-Thena! Th-that will only make them worse... Athena: Relax, Junie! I'm sure he won't mind! Right, Apollo? Apollo: Huh? Uh, sure. (As long as I'm nowhere close to Blackquill.) They step into the designated room with scripts in hand and take their seats. Blackquill gives the memo a single glance and tosses it. Taka promptly snatches it up in midair and flings it into the nearest trash bin, and then returns to his perch. With everyone settled in, the lights dim and the screen flickers alight. Quote: Word of the Day Juniper: ...So is this the title of the fanfic? Apollo: Looks like it. Sounds like we're back in English class. Athena: Oh, man! I didn't come here to catch up on my studies! I already graduated! Trucy: And I already have my own class! Quote: A gallimaufry of vignettes proffered seriatim for your delectation; gleaned from an amalgam of Ace Attorney and the fervid and unwavering pursuit of eminent intellectual erudition! A writer is naught if not a lover of words! All: ... Trucy: What the heck is this? Juniper: I think it's the description for the fanfic... Athena: Ugh... my head's getting dizzy just by looking at it. Blackquill: Hmph... Clearly, this author is naught if not a profuse spewer of unintelligible babble that succinctly portends the author's deplorable affectation of lexical prowess. Apollo: ...Prosecutor Blackquill, please don't. Blackquill: What of it? We're here to mock the fanfic, aren't we? Apollo: (Yeah, but the last thing we need now is more "babble" as you so put it.) Spoiler: Chapter 1 Speakers: Speaking of interruptions, please excuse ours, but the awaited arrangements have been made! Juniper: Arrangements? Trucy: Oh! Are Daddy and Mr. Edgeworth here? Speakers: The teleporter will be available in exactly three seconds. Apollo: T-teleporter? They hear a whirr from the strange machine outside, and then it abides. In a single flash, two new arrivals appear already seated in the row behind them. Edgeworth is still holding a teacup, while Phoenix is asleep with an eye mask. Edgeworth: I already notified the Management that I've assigned Prosecutor Simon Blackquill to take my place. Why have I been brought here? Speakers: It was by special request that you two be summoned in this way. Edgeworth: That doesn't answer my question! Blackquill: ...So, I assume my role has been forfeited? Edgeworth: Unfortunately, it seems so. *sigh* Thank you for assistance, in any case. To think that they would use a teleporting device to bring us here against our will... Speakers: Incidentally, the Management bans all use of sleeping gear in the theater. Phoenix: ...zzz. Trucy: Daddy, wake up! *thwap* Phoenix: Huh? What? Oh, no... Why here, why now!? How did I even get here? Athena: They have a teleporter now. Phoenix: ...What? Speakers: As we were saying, the Management bans all use of sleeping gear in the theater. Phoenix: You guys brought me here with it! *takes it off* Apollo: Mr. Wright, do you really have nothing better to do than sleep? Phoenix: Give me a break, Apollo. I'm getting too old for this. Apollo: (Hey, I've been called here almost as much as you guys have, so suck it up.) Edgeworth: ...At the very least, could I enjoy a refill of Earl Grey? Speakers: Our sincerest apologies, but we've run out of tea for the time being. You'll have to do without it for this session. Edgeworth: Now I can't even enjoy a drink? Have the standards of this theater fallen to a new low? Phoenix: You want grape juice? They still have that. Edgeworth: I'll pass. Speakers: And with that, we will now return to our regular scheduling. Spoiler: Chapter 2 The lights finally come back on as the screen fades to black. Phoenix: Thank goodness, it's finally over! Maybe now I can get back to sleep... Blackquill: You truly don't have anything better to do, do you, Wright-dono? Athena: As always. We don't get that many cases, and Mr. Wright's always in charge of which clients we get. Apollo: And so, we're left on cleaning the office all the time. It doesn't help that Trucy always makes a mess of things. Trucy: It's not "making a mess"! I just leave things out for my convenience! Edgeworth: (Like father, like daughter. I honestly worry for her sometimes.) Juniper: Well, everyone, shall we be off? The group shuffles out to the lobby and out the doors in a hurry. Blackquill: If I may ask, sir... Edgeworth: Yes? Blackquill: Why have you yet to sue this theater? Edgeworth: ...I am unable to, sadly. Somehow, the Management that runs this place has ties to the government and even Interpol, as given by the amount of Agent Lang's men on the premise. Phoenix: Believe us, Blackquill. If we could sue this place, we would have long ago. Blackquill: ...You have my condolences. The prosecutors part ways with the rest, leaving Juniper with the Wright Anything Agency members. Juniper: I'll need to get going too. Thanks for bringing me, Thena! Though the fic we watched was pretty disappointing, I'm glad to have been in good company! Athena: Don't mention it, Junie! If you're ever up for another, we'll be glad to have you! Apollo: I don't recommend it, Juniper. This time was a pretty light fic, but usually, the theater shows ones that are much more graphic. Juniper: O-oh, really? Trucy: No worries, no worries! In case you need someone to avert your eyes, just ask for our agency's special star! Juniper: Special star? Apollo: Trucy, what are you talking about? Trucy: Ah, I'm glad you asked! It's our one and only... *click, voom, clack* Mr. Hat: Misterrrr Hat, the Mahvelous Master Magician, at your service, Miss! Athena: Whoa! Junie: Eek!! *thud* Athena: Ah, Junie! Trucy: ...Oops. Phoenix: Hahahaha! Apollo: Don't laugh, Mr. Wright! You okay, Juniper? Fortunately, Juniper simply laughs it off and thanks Trucy for the support. And thus ends another wonderful day at the Sporking Theater. Tune in next time for the next exciting installment! Speakers: In the meantime, we will enjoy our newfound power with this almighty teleporter. Mwahahaha... Just then, a small black cat steps by, eying the lobby speakers curiously. It glances around at the bored expressions of the men in black, and then it struts off and out. Speakers: ...That cat better not be who we think it is, or we are so screwed. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 10:11 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Rubia: Omg Blackquill and Takaaaaa. And Phoenix and Edgeworth are really working overtime, huh... man, that was great. Breathing Is A Necessity, part two. Today's sporkers are... Miles Edgeworth! "I'm not going to enjoy this, am I?" Phoenix Wright! "I really don't know what you're expecting, Edgeworth." and... Dick Gumshoe! "All I was told was that Mr. Edgeworth needed my help, pal." [We open up in our sporking theatre, where Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth are already seated. Was the teleporter used to get them here? Actually, they probably just walked over considering they both recently left another, saner, sporking.] Phoenix: ... Edgeworth: Problem, Wright? Phoenix: Do you think the Management is actually going to follow up on their idea to include a third sporker for this one? Edgeworth: Yes, I believe the third sporker is supposed to be Detective Gumshoe. Phoenix: ... Edgeworth: Now what is your problem? Phoenix: I actually kind of liked having the whole theatre to ourselves. Edgeworth: Because you could act like a brat without any major loss of respect, presumably... Phoenix: You're one to talk. [Dick Gumshoe enters stage left. That is to say, through the doors.] Gumshoe: ...the doors aren't even on the left side of the theatre, pal. Speakers: The Management would like to remind Dick Gumshoe that commenting on the descriptive narration is strictly forbidden. Edgeworth: You'd be wise not to break the rules, Detective. This is a punishment sporking... Gumshoe: Oh, I see, sir. *sits next to Edgeworth* Who's being punished? Edgeworth: Me. Phoenix: And me, probably. Edgeworth: By the time this is done, you're probably due for another punishment sporking. Phoenix: ...in that case, I'll just have to drag you in there with me. [The lights dim.] Gumshoe: It's starting, pal. Phoenix & Edgeworth: *sigh* Quote: In that awkward little stage between slumber and consciousness, Edgeworth began to realize something was happening to his body. Let's see ... Upward. His body felt small ... cramped? Throat dry, mouth open. Mouth being kept open. There was this ... strange feeling. He felt sensitive, wet and cool, inside. Inside ... his body. Dripping from him. What was ... ? Oh God. He remembered. Gant. Phoenix & Edgeworth: ... Gumshoe: Um, ex-Chief Gant, sir? What happens in this fic anyway? Edgeworth: Very... unsavory things. Phoenix: We're about to watch Edgeworth get raped. Possibly multiple times. Gumshoe: !! Edgeworth: Thank you very much, Wright. Phoenix: Hey, I can't just let Gumshoe go into this unprepared, right? Quote: Pale body jerked to life, but very large hands had him trapped in an uncomfortable position. "Easy, easy," Gant murmured, holding him. His position in the ogre's grip explained that cramped feeling. Miles' back was pressed into Gant's huge chest, hands beneath the attorney's trembling thighs so he could hold those legs upward. A mid-air fetal position of sorts, tucked against Damon's body. "Mm, mm!" Cool fluid was leaking from his hole. The police chief was ... draining him. Phoenix: Draining... of what...? Edgeworth: I sincerely hope it's blood. Gumshoe: ! Phoenix: Don't get too alarmed, Gumshoe. He's been a little suicidal ever since about halfway through Law Plus Chaos. Edgeworth: A "little" suicidal? Quote: "You still seem to be in a bit of a mental-lull ... so let me explain to you what's happening. We're still in your office, for now. You can't speak, there's a ball-gag in your mouth. Your hands are cuffed behind your back," then the tone of his voice became a bit rough, "You're completely vulnerable, to me." Miles checked everything Gant mentioned. He confirmed his surroundings, his bound hands, the gag ... A pathetic effort was made to push off of the other man's body, but that brutish strength made keeping a dazed Edgeworth still seem rather effortless. Gumshoe: H-How did you even get in this position, sir?! Edgeworth: I was chloroformed in the last chapter. Gumshoe: By ex-Chief Gant? Phoenix: Yep. Gumshoe: ...you don't seem to care very much, pal. Phoenix: You get used to it. Edgeworth: I think we've both spent far too much time in here. Quote: " I've just given you an enema, so you'll be nice and clean, for me," and he rocked Miles' body a bit, causing more solution to drip from his passage, "You can't see it, but there's a bucket beneath you ... collecting everything that pours out of you. All: *squick* Edgeworth: Nngh... *puts head in hands* This isn't happening. Gumshoe: But it is, sir... Phoenix: Just ignore him, Gumshoe. Quote: Almost done.-- Such an erotic experience, for me ... undressing and washing your lovely body. It made it difficult ... not raping you in your sleep. That kind of sweet vulnerability begs for it. But I was gentle with you, Worthy. Quite gentle." Gant was enjoying his bird's-eye view of Miles' curled body . "You should be grateful for your stunning body. I could have dressed you in a skirt, some stockings ... Edgeworth: *sits up* What. Phoenix: *snickers* Edgeworth: Wright!! Quote: getting your butt slapped while wearing such feminine accents would be, unbearably, humiliating. But," squeezing those thighs, "your skin is too perfect ... This body should always be exposed. Always naked, ready to be fucked." Edgeworth, again, tried to push himself from Gant's body. With slightly more vigor, this time. They were done, the older man decided. The chloroform would wear off completely, soon. Most of the solution had already leaked from that body, and a fully-recovered Edgeworth could pose a problem in this kind of position. Damon carried his captive to that puffy magenta couch, and dropped him on it. Miles, predictably, tried to squirm away ... but a firm grip in his hair forced his face down onto the cushion. The police chief sat in a chair he had moved next to the couch earlier, as much of this event had already been planned. In fact, the dark-colored gym-bag that's lying on the floor, directly beside him? Also previously placed there. Gumshoe: What... what's in gym bag, pal...? Phoenix: I'm afraid to find out. Edgeworth: I'm extremely afraid to find out. Quote: Edgeworth, face down, could only guess Gant's actions through what he heard. The rustle of fabric? Items being sifted through? Quiet, suddenly. Miles nearly preferred Damon's ridiculous taunts to this wordless moment of dreadful anticipation. Soon, something cold and slick slid into his [Gant rapes Edgeworth with a dildo.] Edgeworth: ......... Phoenix: So much for dubious consent. Edgeworth: At least the fic is no longer presenting itself as a moral gray zone. Gumshoe: ...why do people write things like this, pal? Phoenix: Some of our fans are very sick, twisted individuals. Edgeworth: Case in point: the Management. Speakers: You're just asking for it at this point, Miles Edgeworth. Edgeworth: ... Phoenix: If it makes you feel any better, I was kidding about you being in on my punishment sporking. Quote: Miles imagined Gant did something similar to this to all of his previous partners ... letting them squirm in some kind of humiliating position as Gant acted disinterested. Give them time to muse over the situation. Let them imagine their fate. What did they feel? Anticipation? Shame, anxiety? Desperation ... arousal, emptiness ... Edgeworth: Horror. Unending horror. Gumshoe: A desire to arrest a fictional character. Phoenix: A weird mix between sympathy and amusement. Edgeworth: ...amusement? Really, Wright? Phoenix: This whole situation is so ridiculous. I'm just trying to stay sane here. Quote: The situation may be different this time, though. Damon's previous partners may have not given him a 'reason' to truly hurt them, and they likely never considered murder as a potential fate. Miles suspected this was ... a very real possibility, for himself. Edgeworth: In that case, the fic had better get on with it. Gumshoe: Y-You can survive this fic, sir! I know you can!! Phoenix: Did you know you're in it too, Gumshoe? Gumshoe: Eh? I am, pal? Edgeworth: It is a fairly minor role, Wright... Phoenix: Would the Management really bring him in if something horrible didn't happen to him? Edgeworth: ... Gumshoe: I thought the Management was being merciful, pal. Edgeworth: You clearly don't know the Management well enough. Quote: How else could this end? If control stays within Gant's hands ... abduction or death seemed to be the only two results of this encounter. And what was Damon looking for? A challenge? Complete submission? Would he be disgusted or pleased if Miles played along and pretended to enjoy this abuse? Perhaps compliance would bore him, or perhaps nothing would please the demon more than Edgeworth surrendering his pride, submitting out of desperation, just before being killed by Gant's hands. Perhaps Miles' decision here was meaningless ... and, no matter what he did, Gant had already chose a specific outcome. ... Edgeworth recognized that Damon wanted him to silently suffer these uncomfortable musings. Edgeworth: Meanwhile, the author... Phoenix: It's only fictional, Edgeworth. It can't hurt you. Physically, anyway. Gumshoe: I think this place takes one heck of a toll on Mr. Edgeworth's sanity, though, pal. Phoenix: I said physically. Quote: This was part of the process. Better turn to more pleasant thoughts. Something warm and fluffy. Like Phoenix. Phoenix: ... Edgeworth: You're wrong, Wright. It can hurt us physically. Phoenix: What, a concussion from banging my head against the wall? Edgeworth: Precisely. Speakers: The Management would like to remind all sporkers that concussions are strictly prohibited. Quote: Hm. What was Phoenix doing right now? Probably sleeping in. Miles imagined Wright in bed, by himself. His Plan-B lover had complained about being lonely. Gumshoe: "Plan-B lover", pal? Phoenix: Weird. I thought we got back together in the last chapter. Edgeworth: No, I merely informed you I was available. Phoenix: And then we started feeling each other up. Gumshoe: ... Edgeworth: I-In the fic, Detective. Don't look at us like that. Quote: Alone. For how long, now? He wondered if Phoenix had even tried to move on, after their relationship. Or did the silly fool just ... always belong to him. Phoenix: And now you're being creepy. Is there anyone in this fic that isn't creepy? Gumshoe: Um, me, pal? Phoenix: ... Edgeworth: Actually, yes. I believe you may be the only one who hasn't been acting... inappropriately. Phoenix: In my defense, I'm barely in-character. Edgeworth: And I am? Quote: Edgeworth shouldn't have left Phoenix. He would have never indulged Gant's fierce lust, if they had been together. No. That was selfish, actually. And not the truth. Phoenix: Edgeworth, you cheating she-dog! Edgeworth & Gumshoe: ... Phoenix: ...Larry would have thought that was funny. Edgeworth: And what does that say about your sense of humor, Wright? Quote: The real reason he shouldn't have left ... was that dopey grin on Phoenix's face, after that last kiss they shared. "I'll wait for you; I will." ... Seemed like such a dumb thing to say. Phoenix: It is a dumb thing to say. Gumshoe: This is pretty sappy, pal. Edgeworth: This fic alternates between sappy and disturbing. That's just how it works. Quote: March 29, 9:13 AM Prosecutor Edgeworth's Office --- Gant, without moving, glanced at his pouting prince. His subtlety was rewarded ... Edgeworth was entirely unaware of his gaze. Worthy. Quiet. Staring off to the side. An undeniably sad look, in his eyes. The kind of look that hinted at deep, internalized pain. Edgeworth: Or external, physical pain. I just got raped. Phoenix: ...wouldn't that be more internal- Edgeworth: No. Stop talking. Quote: Damon, who, by profession, routinely associated with the miserable and/or guilty, and, by choice, routinely associated with the emotionally delicate ... was pretty good at reading such expressions. There was no doubt in his mind ... Edgeworth was either dwelling over a bleak future, or despondently dreaming of loved ones. Mr. Wright, maybe? Phoenix: Argh, leave me out of this. Edgeworth: It's too late, Wright. Quote: With previous partners, seeing this kind of vulnerable expression pleased Gant. From Miles? It was ... strange. He imagined a few tears on that smooth cheek. Hm, well. Time to snap Edgeworth out of it. Gumshoe: Um... this is just going to lead to more rape, isn't it, sir? Edgeworth: *deep sigh* Most likely. Phoenix: I'm surprised you didn't say "definitely". Edgeworth: I suppose all that optimism from the last part of this has rubbed off on me. Phoenix: ...giggling children. Edgeworth: That was not an invitation to reference it. Gumshoe: ...? [Edgeworth gets raped.] Phoenix: I'm surprised the Management didn't give us more unnecessary details like they did last time. Edgeworth: Don't tempt them, Wright. Quote: Hm. Gant realized that though Edgeworth was no longer fighting every indignation he was suffering at Gant's hands, there was an obvious lack of respect, here. All: .......... Edgeworth: What is he expecting?! Gumshoe: C-Calm down, sir... Edgeworth: ...I'm calm. I'm very calm. Phoenix: (I wonder how many more fics he has until he loses his mind entirely?) Quote: Time to end that, he decided. "Do you think I'm going to kill you, Edgeworth?" He asked, humorlessly. Edgeworth: Do I think that? Probably. Do I hope that? Definitely. Gumshoe: But Mr. Edgeworth, you have so much left to live for, sir! Phoenix: Just not in the context of this fic... Gumshoe: I'm trying to help, pal. Don't ruin my efforts. Quote: The harsh look in Miles' eyes immediately softened, gaze shifting downward. Gant idly began smoothing out silver locks. A demeaning but affectionate caress. "How humiliating would it be ... if your bloody body was found in this office? Tokyo's beautiful celebrity attorney ... raped and murdered. Naked, marks all over your body, gag in your mouth, dildo in your ass ... bullet in your head. Would whoever found the corpse remember that precious dignity of yours?" All: ......... Edgeworth: After making regular appearances in here for three years now... I'm not sure I have any dignity left to be precious in the first place. Gumshoe: I think I would be a lot more concerned about finding whoever did that to you, Mr. Edgeworth. Phoenix: Yeah, me too. Quote: Miles' breath hitched. "Honestly," taking the gun out of its holster, and pressing it beneath his chin, "I've suffered so many insults, from you." Edgeworth closed his eyes. "So many belittling comments, disgusted looks ... " Gant's captive didn't move. "Refusing to kiss me? Within moments of seeing me you'll be on my cock, yet you act like my mouth is a fucking safety hazard," he pressed the gun into that flesh, roughly, "That's classic, Edgeworth. Really." The prosecutor winced. Edgeworth: Just pull the trigger, Gant. Phoenix: Just make sure your estate pays for the therapy of whoever finds your body, Edgeworth. Gumshoe: You're really cruel, pal. Phoenix: My stupid jokes are the only thing keeping us sane. Edgeworth: As much as I hate to admit it... Quote: "Then there was, that little episode at your house ... A brilliant cross-examination, Mr. Prosecutor. And if you must know, father wasn't a rapist, mother didn't hit me and my uncle never fucked me," petting Edgeworth's hair and, now, whispering in his ear, "It must be that chemical imbalance, you had referred to. You're so smart, Worthy." Though Damon was content with the distant, sad look on Miles' face, he continued. "I wish I could tell you that, my admission that night ... the one where I essentially said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, was just an attempt to manipulate you into letting me fuck you. But that'd be a lie. I did want you. So, yes, your insulting rejection ... hurt. Are you proud of that?" No answer. "It's funny. Even after that humiliating departure, a part of me still wants you." No scornful glare. No dismissive gesture. Gumshoe: I don't think he'll go away if you ignore him, sir. Edgeworth: I've gathered that by now, Detective. [Gant threatens to stick his gun up Edgeworth's-] Edgeworth: NO. Phoenix: Talk about a humiliating way to die... [Gant removes Edgeworth's gag and tells him to give him a blowjob. Edgeworth threatens to bite his penis off.] Edgeworth: ... *turns to look at Phoenix* ... Phoenix: I was kidding yesterday. Edgeworth: And yet, here it is. Quote: Damon pressed forward, gripping Edgeworth by his throat. "You mock me? Even now?" "You're a sick bastard. You need psychiatric help and antidepressants." "You've two seconds to reconsider that response." "I only need one to rephrase it for you," before spitting into his face. Phoenix: Oh, look, fic-Edgeworth has just as much of a death wish as real Edgeworth does. Edgeworth: Very funny, Wright. Gumshoe: ...I don't think antidepressants would work here, pal. Phoenix: Well, maybe if he overdosed on them... Edgeworth: *sigh* Wright... [Gant spanks Edgeworth, then rapes him and urinates in him.] All: ... Edgeworth: ...d-did the Management provide barf bags? Speakers: I knew we were forgetting something. Phoenix: Don't worry, Edgeworth. It's almost over. Gumshoe: I thought we had to do four more chapters after this, pal. Phoenix: ...this chapter's almost over, anyway. I'm sure someone comes swooping in to your rescue. Edgeworth: Ggnhh... [Gant threatens to carve his name in Edgeworth's skin.] Edgeworth: One of you, please hit me upside the head with the fire extinguisher. Gumshoe & Phoenix: ... *exchange glances* Phoenix: I thought we couldn't get to it unless the theatre was on fire. Edgeworth: Do I look like I care any more? Speakers: Hey! Quote: A choke sound from Edgeworth, again. But this one was followed by a soft sniffle. Miles was ... sobbing? Edgeworth: *twitches* Gumshoe: Oh boy, pal. Quote: "Let me see," Gant insisted. This is one of the moments he had been waiting for, after all. This is what he wanted to see. The sullen beauty remained turned away. Damon closed the switchblade and returned it to his breast-pocket, before reaching for that chin ... But Miles suddenly twisted about in his lap, pressing his face into the crook of Damon's warm neck. Beyond the occasional sob, both men became quiet. Edgeworth: ....... Phoenix: Deep breaths, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: Oh, shut up. Quote: Odd ... the police chief decided. Of all the scenarios his mind entertained, this one was never considered. He just ... massaged the dejected attorney's arm, holding him. And, Edgeworth? Edgeworth would never be able to explain why it was preferable to cry into his rapist's shoulder, rather than allow him to see those tears. Gumshoe: Um... Edgeworth: There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to begin. Phoenix: How 'bout we just begin on the next chapter? Spoiler: The other half of the fic |
Author: | Nearavex [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 10:20 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
We need more in this world. |
Author: | dimentiorules [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:32 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Thanks, guys, for your support. I'm so happy you guys liked my sporking! I was always told that I give up too easily, maybe that's actually somewhat true. Maybe I'll try another one eventually! |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
dimentiorules wrote: Thanks, guys, for your support. I'm so happy you guys liked my sporking! I was always told that I give up too easily, maybe that's actually somewhat true. Maybe I'll try another one eventually! Yay! More sporkers is always good. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:26 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Poor Gumshoe. Between the terrible fic and Wright and Edgeworth gradually slipping away from reality, he's the only one standing between them and clinical insanity. *slow clap* Quote: "Now, ya sick bastard, Prepare yourself ... for the Fist of Justice!" Best line in the whole darn fic. My salutations. Quote: Edgeworth: And it's still weird to hear anyone call me "Miles". Glad that's settled. Franzy? Quote: Phoenix: (I wonder who they do like enough to bend the rules for...) Silly Phoenix. The Management shall spare no one who steps forth through these doors. Not even Kay. To be fair, though, we usually spare Pearl, and now Juniper, from the more grotesque ones... but even they aren't exceptions. Well, now. I hope others will comment on my work and suggest if there's anything I should tweak a little to make it more interesting? Seriously, I feel a little disappointed with it for some reason, but can find nothing to remove or add to improve it... |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:29 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Quote: Edgeworth: And it's still weird to hear anyone call me "Miles". Glad that's settled. Franzy? Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Well, now. I hope others will comment on my work and suggest if there's anything I should tweak a little to make it more interesting? Seriously, I feel a little disappointed with it for some reason, but can find nothing to remove or add to improve it... I demand more Taka, if that makes you feel any better. I love the emoticons. >:3 |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:41 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Well, you're in luck. One of the next couple chapters does feature Blackquill, so naturally, Taka will have things to object to, with a war cry. And now I'm excited to hop into the next part. Nyeheheheh... |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:15 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
More feedback on previous sporks: Airey's spork from August 5: -Just a thought upon seeing Fulbright in the sporker list: Maybe we should mark sporks containing potential spoilers... I mean, I guess you can always see if DD characters are used, but they aren't necessarily spoiling stuff, and likewise, some sporks may contain spoilers even without featuring distinctive DD characters. Any opinions on this? -Speaking of Fulbright, somehow I feel like he should be more enthusiastic/lively. But that might be just me. I really should replay this game. Nearavex's spork from August 7: -Sorry to say this, but I feel like the sporkers aren't nearly appalled enough, regarding that the fic is doing a good job grossing me out, and I'm not in it, nor am I sitting next to somebody in it, nor am I seeing the pictures. Yuck. D: And why do I feel like I'm reading 50 shades of Grey when I never even read the real thing? Ew... I bet you needed a shower after reading that fic. I sure felt like I needed one. sumguy28's spork from August 7: -[quote]if we assume that this building is the Police Department building, then why are Ema and Klavier the only two people in the building?[/i] Just a minor nitpick: It sounds redundant when you use the word "building" three times in a relatively short sentence like this. Example for a different phrasing: "If we assume that this place is the police Department, then why are Ema and Klavier the only two people in the building?" or: "If we assume that this is taking place at the Police Department (building), then why are Ema and Klavier the only two people around?" -Again, I have to nag about Klavier's German. He should know that the word "Fraülein" doesn't exist, and that the correct spelling is "Fräulein". Especially if he wants to correct other people's misspellings of it. Please, to all of you who want to write sporkers using foreign words, research the words you want to use. -I like the cuts you made to the fic better than Nearavex's version, actually. They make it feel less icky and more comfortable to read. Of course, the entire fic is pretty vile. Also, with the worst details cut out, it's more understandable why the sporkers don't freak out as much. Can't say I envy you for having to read through the uncensored version. D: I hope you will write more in the future. I feel like if you don't rush it and take the time to research and proofread, you have the potential to write some nice sporks. Just make sure to anjnounce what you'll be working on in time so others won't spork the same fic. To all current sporkers: Recently, the sporks have gotten very frequent and very long. Would it be at all possible for the faster writers among you to slow down a bit to give slower paced people a chance to catch up? It's not as much fun reading this thread if it takes three hours of reading every day. I'm looking at some sporks here that, if opening their spoiler cut, suddenly stretch out an already long page to 140%. Could you perhaps split your sporks into more parts, and make them shorter? And perhaps wait a few days before posting each part so others have more time to read up and write their own sporks? I'm seriously feeling like I'm never going to catch up at this point, and I can't be the only one. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 7:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
No worries. I don't post a sporking too frequently, since I usually give myself some space between submissions. Still, if mine are a bit too long, I'll be happy to cut down on it. Sometimes, I run out of jokes when I'm in the middle of one, and it becomes frustrating to avoid any unintended case of repetition. What would you suggest be a suitable length? 1/2~2/3 of the original fic content, or would that be cutting too much? I think I figured out why I was a little disappointed with my last work. I took a risky maneuver by including a pretty wide cast. Thinking back to it, I probably shouldn't have bloated it so much, especially that Nick and Edgey (and Blacky & Taka, of course) basically stole the show from the others. Still, forcing them into overtime was so worth it... Well, once in a while is fine. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 7:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Aw, okay. Sorry (since I've been the one posting tons of [long] sporkings lately). Also, I don't think a spoiler tag is necessary if it's just DD characters, since the "No Spoilers" rule is still in effect. But yeah, if the fic itself is spoilery, obviously there should be a warning... it's just that no one's sporked a really spoilery fic yet. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Thank you for being so open about this. I really don't want to demotivate anyone, I just got kind of desperate, feeling like a really old person watching the young people run ahead. ;) @Rubia: It's hard to set a concrete limit for how long a spork should be... I don't have a word count, and the physical size of how far you'd scroll to read it differs with the legth of the page. And we all read with different pace, so saying how long proofreading should take doesn't work either... Roughly said though, I'd say that if the little square on your scroll bar is getting really small, then you should probably split the spork. Although in your particular case, I think you can easily avoid overlong sporks by just stopping when ever you reach that point where you run out of jokes (assuming that's a frequent problem for you). I'm not sure if your sporks were too long off the top of my head, though. I just got overwhelmed with the sheer amount of text I was facing (and still am, although it's less by now). @Airey: It's okay... I tried to drop subtle hints at first, but I probably should have been clearer on that, especially once I knew I'd had to be away for a while. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. You write very well, but you have to consider that we also have to read through all those fic parts between your sporkers's comments, and that alone can be very tiring even if the rest is good. You also have the problem that you don't make as many jokes as some of us, so while your characters act reasonably (for the most part), their mood also adds to the fic's atmosphere, if you know what I mean. If you could post shorter parts and maybe reduce the amount just a bit, I would greatly appreciate that. You can, of course, still write as far and as quick as you want, just don't post it all at once, if it's okay for you. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:25 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Nah, no hurt feelings. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, I've reached the current page, will start reading the sporks on it tomorrow. :) Thane's spork from August 9: -I like your intro, just one minor nitpick: Larry has been in the sporking theater quite a few times, and usually enjoyed it. Even if you use a younger Larry from a timeline before his first sporking (which I think is what you did here?), I don't think he'd mind it all that much - especially with two ladies around. Once the fic is running, however, he seems fine to me. -I like how you write Maya. I always prefer the fun sporkers over the plain serious ones, so it was fun reading her here. And also Phoenix's little humorous moments. :D -I love your little management moment at the end. It's very charming and kind of cute in an unprofessional sort of way. ^^ Overall, this spork was really enjoyable, but my favorite part is the ending. Good work! Nearavex's spork from August 9: -Oh god, I didn't even notice the newspapers made from people in Thane's version. Ew. D: Hm... maybe this is why Ema and Klavier were alone in the other fic: The rest of the police had already been turned into newspapers. -Huh. Another thing I didn't notice before: Indeed Mia's magatama was white in sprites, but it was purple in other official art (and also in-game pictures). Wonder who screwed up there. And one reply to Airey because I only saw her old edited post now: AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Also, I'm pretty sure the only place where I used Fräu was in reference to a married woman, right? That's how Fräu is supposed to be used, isn't it...? (Dang it, my German is even worse than Klavier's. I take French, okay?) Actually, "Fräu" isn't even a word in German. The correct word is "Frau", and rhymes with cow. ;) (While "Fräulein", at least in my accent, sounds more like froll-line, and "Fräu", if it existed, would sound like "froi"). If you need German in future sporks, you could always pm me as long as I'm around, since I'm a native German. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: And one reply to Airey because I only saw her old edited post now: AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Also, I'm pretty sure the only place where I used Fräu was in reference to a married woman, right? That's how Fräu is supposed to be used, isn't it...? (Dang it, my German is even worse than Klavier's. I take French, okay?) Actually, "Fräu" isn't even a word in German. The correct word is "Frau", and rhymes with cow. ;) (While "Fräulein", at least in my accent, sounds more like froll-line, and "Fräu", if it existed, would sound like "froi"). If you need German in future sporks, you could always pm me as long as I'm around, since I'm a native German. Of course I only find this out after writing seven and half chapters of a fic filled with German speakers... I'll be sure to remember this in the future. |
Author: | Nearavex [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:18 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Aw, okay. Sorry (since I've been the one posting tons of [long] sporkings lately). Also, I don't think a spoiler tag is necessary if it's just DD characters, since the "No Spoilers" rule is still in effect. But yeah, if the fic itself is spoilery, obviously there should be a warning... it's just that no one's sporked a really spoilery fic yet. I remember having unmarked spoilers in a sporking and fic without DD characters, uh... Oops, I guess. xD |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
For some reason, it's exciting waiting for Pessimistic to catch up with the rest of us. Perhaps it's the privilege of being a long-term veteran of the Sporking Theater? :3 Wait... if Airey is like Missile in here, would that make me Sissel? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Almost there... I need to have one more break before I face Airey's most recent fic, but after that, I'll be up to date. New feedback: Airey's spork from August 10: -Pff, nice idea to have Phoenix babysitting Edgeworth. ^^ For how lively you are, your management sure is a bunch of slackers. -"Damon"? I know fic writers like to pretend they're first name buddies with Edgeworth or Gumshoe, but I think this is a first. -I'm not sure how Edgeworth commenting on working with Gant is breaking the fourth wall. He's not hinting at their universe being a game. Could you explain? -Uhm, you know... with the explicit fics we have here lately, and the new rule about NSFW content... is text form still within the rules? Should we censor those scenes? Should we ask about it in the rule thread? (I must say, personally, I really don't have to read about some characters's private parts and what they do with them *shudders with disgust*. Still, it is funny to haunt the sporkers with yaoi jokes...) -Edgeworth's suit is still not magenta. I'd call it more of a dusty velvet plum red. See for yourself: -"Karma sutra"? I'm surprised you let such a great chance for a joke slip you by. ;) dimentio's spork from August 10: -Long hair "to tease and torture him with"? What has the writer of this fic been smoking? How exactly do you "tease and torture" someone with your hair? Is it on fire? Coated in acid? That would be at least as unpleasant for the tormenter as it would be for the victim. -Eyes covered with glass? Owww! (I guess the writer tried to say that the owner of the eyes was wearing glasses, but that's not what it said.) - Quote: Klavier:..... Y Probably just a typo, but... "why" indeed.. rubia's spork from August 10: -Sadly I immediately knew what the writer meant by calling fallacious "such a nasty word". My mind, it is a dirty, dirty place. -We have a teleporter now? Neat! Where'd you get this awesome thing? We should have one installed in the observation room and we'd never miss lunch breaks again. -Poor Phoenix. Gotta suck to wake up to that. ^^ -How did you find out about transfenestrating? I never knew it had its own word. Nice piece of trivia there. - Quote: Edgeworth: That doesn't make it any less excusable. I think you meant it wouldn't make it any more excusable. Or less inexcusable. ;) -If Blackquill becomes the new Gumshow, I want a stupid fic or comic in which Franziska keeps calling him Fluffy. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:31 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: -Edgeworth's suit is still not magenta. I'd call it more of a dusty velvet plum red. See for yourself: I'd say a bit more cardinal red, aside from the shaded areas. And on that note, Nick's suit is pretty close to a cobalt blue if we're referring to the original sprites. Quote: -Long hair "to tease and torture him with"? What has the writer of this fic been smoking? How exactly do you "tease and torture" someone with your hair? Is it on fire? Coated in acid? That would be at least as unpleasant for the tormenter as it would be for the victim. Strangulation? Well, I'd think that sit safely in the "attempted murder" department. Quote: -We have a teleporter now? Neat! Where'd you get this awesome thing? We should have one installed in the observation room and we'd never miss lunch breaks again. Believe it or not, it had previously been a force-field generator designed with a semi-permeable barrier, but I decided against it. The teleporter is much more convenient and easy to use. Quote: -How did you find out about transfenestrating? I never knew it had its own word. Nice piece of trivia there. Wiktionary is the way better dictionary. It includes the latest neologisms and a multitude of foreign loanwords that may or may not have been taken directly from different languages. I haven't read Vineland, but I have heard how it's one of the best comedy novels in recent years. And yet, I have yet to hear of it earning a film adaptation. Quote: - Quote: Edgeworth: That doesn't make it any less excusable. I think you meant it wouldn't make it any more excusable. Or less inexcusable. ;) Give him a break. He didn't even have his tea to enjoy. Dang it, I always miss that for some reason. Quote: -If Blackquill becomes the new Gumshoe, I want a stupid fic or comic in which Franziska keeps calling him Fluffy. Sad to say that I haven't found any yet, but now I'm tempted to try it myself. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:41 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Airey's spork from August 10: -I'm not sure how Edgeworth commenting on working with Gant is breaking the fourth wall. He's not hinting at their universe being a game. Could you explain? -Uhm, you know... with the explicit fics we have here lately, and the new rule about NSFW content... is text form still within the rules? Should we censor those scenes? Should we ask about it in the rule thread? (I must say, personally, I really don't have to read about some characters's private parts and what they do with them *shudders with disgust*. Still, it is funny to haunt the sporkers with yaoi jokes...) -"Karma sutra"? I'm surprised you let such a great chance for a joke slip you by. ;) The fourth wall thing was supposed to be in reference to his comment about the fans; I just ordered that badly. Whoops. I figured it would be fine if I cut out the most explicit parts - and believe me it did get a HECK of a lot more explicit. Still, I get that I should probably getting different types of fics in the future, if only for the sake of variety... I'm planning on doung a totally harmless one next. Once I find one. (Please don't report me.) Also yeah I didn't even notice it said that until now. Dang it. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:07 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Airey: I won't report you (as I said, I'm not sure if the rule applies to text quotes or not), but I wouldn't rule out a mod coming across it by themselves, and if it should be against the rules, they might delete it - which, granted, would be good riddance for the fic, but sad for the spork. I think it would probably be best to cut overly explicit stuff out - both to be safe, and to keep this thread fun for everyone. You never know how young your readers might be. But if the majority of you want to keep the squick in your future sporks, I'll just have to live with it. ;) And I don't even want to imagine what happened in the even worse parts of the fic. Yikes! @Rubia: I googled cardinal red and some of the results look like they could work (depending on what you assume his suit is made of - some fabrics are duller or more color intensive than others). I still think it's something between plum red and burgundy though, because cardinal doesn't seem quite blueish enough to me. It's hard to say which color exactly it is, but I think we can agree that whatever it is, it is not magenta. ;) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:09 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
How 'bout we just call it "Edgeworth red"? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 12:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Sounds like a plan. ^^ (By the way, sorry that I'm taking so long reading the last spork. I got sick and hardly made it out of bed yesterday.) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 4:42 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
At any rate, I've been working on reformatting the Breathing Is A Necessity sporking so I can upload it to my spork blog - that way I'll have a backup just in case it does break forum rules. (It's taking a while because my internet connection refused to cooperate with Tumblr half the time.) Edit: Good Gregory that took a lot longer than I thought it would. At least we won't lose the sporking now~ |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, I finally finished reading through that squickfest. Feedback on Airey's spork from August 11: -I like that little "enters stage left" bit. When you do make jokes, they're usually very funny. ^^ -A few of those "pal"s seem out of place. You know Gumshoe doesn't end every sentence with it (or a name/title replacing it), right? It sound a bit artificial and not like the way a person would naturally speak if you use the word too often (many fans have the same problem with Franziska's "fool" tic). But otherwise he seems alright. -Speaking of frequently used words, is there any usable synonym for "rape"? I feel like I'm reading The (sadly hypothetic) Pewdiepie Sporking Theater with how often that word comes up lately. I don't know any good alternative myself, so does one exist? There are a few poetic ones, but I don't think anyone would naturally use them... -Dude, you can't forget the barf bags for a fic like that. Think of the poor underpayed cleaner who'd end up having to wash that stuff out the carpet. D: (Although... maybe you could make them clean it as a punishment? Hmmm... you might be on to something there...) -How does fic Phoenix suddenly have "a new set of abs"? What, are they somebody else's abs, and he's wearing them like a cosplay? Did he buy them at the store? Did he draw them? -Nice play on words with the closet (I'm just assuming it's a play on words because Edgeworth's a closet fan). |
Author: | dimentiorules [ Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:19 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Any suggestions for a fic for my second sporking? I appreciate your guys' feedback on my first, though Pessimistic Fool's feedback was more about the fic itself rather than my sporking of it, though it does reveal some jokes I could have made that I didn't. I want a fic that's bad, but not too long. I hope you guys come up with a good suggestion. I COULD spork my own fan fiction that I wrote back in 2008, but it's not quite bad enough. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:55 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: -Speaking of frequently used words, is there any usable synonym for "rape"? I feel like I'm reading The (sadly hypothetic) Pewdiepie Sporking Theater with how often that word comes up lately. I don't know any good alternative myself, so does one exist? There are a few poetic ones, but I don't think anyone would naturally use them... Molest, violate, sexually harass, do someone... the list actually goes on. Quote: -Dude, you can't forget the barf bags for a fic like that. Think of the poor underpayed cleaner who'd end up having to wash that stuff out the carpet. D: (Although... maybe you could make them clean it as a punishment? Hmmm... you might be on to something there...) Then we'd have to provide them some toothbrushes. What else would they clean it up with? dimentiorules wrote: Any suggestions for a fic for my second sporking? I appreciate your guys' feedback on my first, though Pessimistic Fool's feedback was more about the fic itself rather than my sporking of it, though it does reveal some jokes I could have made that I didn't. I want a fic that's bad, but not too long. I hope you guys come up with a good suggestion. I COULD spork my own fan fiction that I wrote back in 2008, but it's not quite bad enough. We usually don't recommend sporking one's own stuff, since a sporking is meant to be someone else's critique of it, but I don't think we've ever set that rule in stone or anything. As for fics... I found this one that uses these guys like cardboard cutouts. It's 5 chapters long so far, but each chapter is pretty short and pretty boring. At least with crack fics, they're written to make the readers laugh. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sat Aug 16, 2014 12:32 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Speaking of frequently used words, is there any usable synonym for "rape"? I feel like I'm reading The (sadly hypothetic) Pewdiepie Sporking Theater with how often that word comes up lately. I don't know any good alternative myself, so does one exist? There are a few poetic ones, but I don't think anyone would naturally use them... Molest, violate, sexually harass, do someone... the list actually goes on. I'll be honest here: I hate using euphemisms for rape, and that was definitely reflected in my sporking. |
Author: | quagsire [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Hello! I just want to say that I absolutely love these sporks! I've been reading them for over a year now, and I was so happy to see that this forum was back to life again when I came back from vacation! Thank you all so very much for writing them! ^__^ |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:08 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Who all is working on sporkings right now? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:46 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm still working on Following the Law (and Evil Continues). |
Author: | Tiagofvarela [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I think it's about time I came by to say I really like the sporkings here. I've been reading them thus far and will continue to do so. It was a very pleasant surprise to see this sprout back to life, and I hope you lads are aware that people are reading and enjoying the sporkings very much. (Well, I am at least) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:53 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Does anyone have some totally harmless oneshots? I have a fantastic idea for the punishment sporking I kept threatening Phoenix with, and it's high time I did something not disturbing. (We don't talk about my first spork here, apparently.) |
Author: | Thane [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm glad to hear people enjoy reading the sporks! I haven't contributed that much yet, but hopefully I've given someone a good chuckle or two. Edited a part of my previous spork where Maya wondered how Phoenix would get his client declared guilty...Maya, you silly girl. Speaking of my previous spork, I don't believe there's much more to write about since it just copies the events of the first Ace Attorney game with a Mary Sue thrown into the mix (and as you may have noticed, the grammar makes no sense and the chapters are LONG). If someone knows of another sporkericious fanfic, please feel free to inform me. |
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