Court Records

Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
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Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Jun 24, 2015 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Phoenix has gone through too much to really care, and Edgeworth has gone through too much to stay sane... at least, from my comical standpoint? :)

Yeah, I guess I could have been just a bit more playful, but this is a good reason why it's not so great to work on two sporkings at once. I was drained after this one. The thread could also use a little more diversity; I don't want to be the only one posting for a while.

How goes your sporks, guys? I'm taking a wee break for the moment.

Author:  luck [ Fri Jun 26, 2015 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I might try some short oneshots of that list that Airey posted when I finish my exams to keep this up.

In the meantime, I've found this fic It's not really bad, but it's extremely silly so it'd make for a funny sporking. And the premise is just weird.

Author:  TheGreatSnarkoo [ Fri Jun 26, 2015 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Anyone interested in doing a collab sporking with me on the fic shown above?

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Jun 26, 2015 10:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Welp, I've finally freed up some time, so I don't mind. If you just need an editor to check over your work, though, I'm fine with that too. Send me a PM sometime, preferably within this next week, since I can't guarantee the next will be available.

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Is anybody doing the "Kristoph Gavin and Waterslides" fic? I'd like to spork it when I get around to it.

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Jul 06, 2015 5:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I don't believe anyone has. Go for it.

Still on my wee break, but I've decided to snatch up that "Rubina" fic. I can only imagine where it'll go. (If I don't submit a sporking of it in the next 3 months, that probably means I've dropped it, though.)

Author:  luck [ Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Well, I've done what I said a few posts ago, and now I kind of need an editor. So...anyone?

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I've decided to remove my Kristoph Gavin and Waterslides spork. I ashamed of the ableist things I said in it. I'm trying to remove my internalized ableism. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone with the things I said.

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!


Congrats. I don't usually giggle this much for someone's first sporking, but you've caught my attention. Aside from the occasional grammatical error, I don't have any complaints about your sporking itself. If I had to come up with a concern, though, it's that the snackoo gag has started to get a bit old, but it's been a while since these three got to show, so it's not a big deal.

Though, I must object about one thing. Dogs are not allowed in the Theater. The last time someone let a dog in here, our teleporter broke down. Although our staff could not find the source of the malfunction, At least one of us is sure the dog somehow cursed it into breaking down.

@ luck: If you need it checked, send me a PM!

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Um, thanks but that's not my first sporking. My first sporking would be the Miles/Gourdy M-preg fic. Thank you for the compliment, though!

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Jul 08, 2015 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Well, excuse me. Sorry, I've been in here too long. I'm losing track of who done what.

Got your message, luck. I'll get to it in a few hours, though. I got business to take care of first.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

*crawls out of grave*
Hey, could someone update the list of fics recommended here for me? I've lost track of what's been done and who's recommended what and all...

Am I ever going to finish The Proposal Strategy? Ha. No. Probably. But I will post something rrrrrrright now! (It's been so long since I've done this with AA characters... *weeps*)

Today's sporkers are:
Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: "Why do I feel like a particular flavor of Management has suddenly reappeared?"
Phoenix Wright!
:object: "Forget that! Where's the fic's title?"
Maya Fey!
:maya-thought: "There's no Sawhit rating, either..."
Trucy Wright!
:trucy: "Maybe that means it's actually... good?"
and Apollo Justice!
:apollo-objection: "I'm pretty sure a good fic would be destroyed if someone brought it in here!"

[We open up in our beloved sporking theatre, with today's sporkers already seated. They are all looking around cautiously, and have been ever since Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey pointed out that the Management has apparently forgotten something very important.]

Speakers: Et tu, Narrator?

Edgeworth: The narration does have a point.

Trucy: Yeah, how are we supposed to know what we're getting ourselves into?

Speakers: Well, you could have waited for us to announce it instead of whining about it right off the bat.

Apollo: Whatever. What are we doing?

Speakers: Today's sporking will be called... The Kink Meme Special!

Edgeworth: The - what.

Apollo: Oh no.

Speakers: Oh yes. Today you will be sporking a variety of short fics from the kink meme.

Phoenix: Hold it! Isn't there a rule against double features?

Maya: Yeah, Mr. Armando told us about it during How Phoenix Wright Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The (New) Management!

Edgeworth: Maya, we were trying to forget about that.

Trucy: Forget about what?

Phoenix: You really, really don't want to know.

Speakers: Anyway! It's not our fault Godot didn't know the rules!

Apollo: Or maybe you changed them.

Speakers: Maybe we did! But that's none of your concern right now.

[The lights dim and the first feature, technically titled "Filling both this one and the one above!" and colloquially titled "Armstrong v Gant", begins playing.]
Gant looked over his shoulder before entering the Tres Bien. He couldn't remain the RAEPTIEM master if he was still in prison.

Edgeworth: ...

Maya: Off to a good start, I see.

His time before they discovered he was missing was limited. How fortunate he was that Kristo was around, throwing hissy fits over a lack of nail polish to distract the guards.

Apollo: "Kristo"?

Phoenix: Do you think that's better or worse than "Krissy"?

Edgeworth: Is Law Plus Chaos ever going to die?

Trucy: Was it really that bad?

All else: Yes.

Why the Tres Bien? Because as much as he'd hate to admit it, Kristo had a point. Worthy hasn't been around in a looooong time. And Hobo!Wrighto was, well...a hobo.

Phoenix: Wow. Is that joke ever going to die?

Apollo: (You can't really blame them for making it...)

He did have SOME standards after all. It was time for new blood. So, taking a cue of the anons on the meme,

Maya: And there goes the fourth wall!

Trucy: It was nice knowing you!

he found himself heading in search of one Jean Armstrong.

Phoenix and Maya: *groaning*

Apollo: That's the Google Translate French guy, right?

He wasn't quite sure what his was expecting when he crept up behind the man...was it a man?

Phoenix: Unfortunately, yes.

It was hard to tell from behind. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't for the man to turn around.

"Oh, mon cherie! You are just too adorable, non?" Gant's eyes widened slightly...was the man...shaking his chest at him? And since when was he a cherry!

Edgeworth: I suppose I've never considered whether or not Gant knew any French.

Trucy: Well, his last name is French. Kinda.

"Oh, you must be here for the sexy times, no? I 'ave the perfect thing for you. I call it Eau de Raep!"

All: *horrified/disgusted looks*

Gant looked down at the bottle that was thrust in his hands...was this...fancy French lube?

Apollo: Cut summary in 3, 2...

Trucy: Maybe we'll get lucky?

Maya: Maybe the Management will stop bringing in minors for smutty stuff.

Speakers: Well excuse us for living.

He looked back up and recoiled in horror. In the few seconds it took for him to discover the contents of the bottle, Armstrong had shed himself of his clothes and was shaking his ass at him suggestively from where he was bent over the counter, looking over his shoulder and making pouty faces at him.


Phoenix: No!! One time was enough!!

Edgeworth: Do I want to know the context behind that one time?!

"My eyes! You sick tart! You've raped my eyes!" Gant scowled...he wasn't going to let this throw him off. He'd show Kristo just who was the master. With that in mind he set about his work.

Trucy: The... work of... rape?

Maya: What is wrong with this fandom?

Apollo: At least there aren't many people writing slashfics about you, Ms. Fey.

Maya: Yeah, that's 'cuz femslash is boring.

Apollo: (Not sure I'd agree there.)


Edgeworth: It appears that even the fic doesn't know what to say.

Phoenix: I do know what to say, I'm just not saying it because Trucy is here.

It's really hard to rape someone when they're purring and mewing and not screaming in terror. Gant pulled out, and cleaned himself up quickly. "Enough of this. I'm going to go find Wrighto. Even the hobo has got to be a better catch than this."

Phoenix: Leave me out of this!

He heard Armstrong calling after him as he stormed out. "No, wait! I'll stop consenting, mon cherie! Come back!"

Maya: I'm not sure if I want to laugh or not.

Trucy: I kind of do.

Apollo: Don't. It's what the author wants.

Like Hell.

Maya: Same.

Speakers: But wait, there's more!

Apollo: Um, yeah, you already told us we were sporking a "variety" of fics.

Speakers: We mean more fics in the "Armstrong v Gant" thread.

All: Oh.

"Gant." A little bit of surprise made it's way into Phoenix's voice, despite his otherwise unaffected appearance. "You're out of jail. Why did that happen?"

Phoenix: Because the kink meme authors love to come up with fun new ways to torment me.

Edgeworth: Stop complaining. You have it easy compared to me.

Maya: At least you two don't get casually written out of everything.

Apollo: Believe me, Ms. Fey, that's preferable.

Gant stalked over and stared at him for a moment. " you know any French?"
Phoenix blinked a few times. "French? I can't say I do...not beyond the typical and Oui, Oui."

Edgeworth: Hm. You've improved.

Phoenix: Can it.

Phoenix stopped to snicker here. "Ha...I said wee wee."

Trucy: I think Daddy's a little more mature than that.

Apollo: Are you sure?

Phoenix: ...I'm sitting right here.

Gant fought the urge to roll his eyes and continued. "Worthy is still your one true love?"

Edgeworth: *irritably throws hands up in air*

Trucy: And that's how we know it's a kink meme fic!

Phoenix frowned. "Edgeworth? As much as I'd like to see him again, no one's seen him in 7 years.

Maya: Um, what?

Edgeworth: Common assumption between the publication of Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies. Ignore it.

Speakers: The Management is not going to ignore Miles Edgeworth's blatant breaking of the fourth wall.

Edgeworth: *rolls eyes*

Speakers: We saw that.

Are you going somewhere with this?"

Finally, he was getting somewhere. He threw his head back and clapped. "Ah Wrighto. You may be a dirty bum, but you never change. Finally, I can get some satisfaction." He looked at Phoenix and smirked. "It's RAEPTIME."

Phoenix: Ugh, and here I thought it was bad enough that he just threatened to do it in Breathing Is A Necessity.

Edgeworth: Why are you bringing that up?

Phoenix: Because all things considered, this is actually better written.

Edgeworth: is.

Trucy: ...I don't want to know, do I?

Maya: I really doubt it.


"If you haven't seen Worthy in 7 years, then why did you shave down there?"

Apollo: Way too much information, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: I wasn't the one who wrote this.

Maya: Yeah, he's not even the one talking here.

"Just ignore the tattoo that says "Edgeworth is my Sugardaddy" and get on with it.

Edgeworth and Phoenix: *damage animation*

Maya: Perfect.

Trucy: I guess that explains where some of the rent money comes from.

Phoenix: Trucy, that's what the poker was for.

Apollo: ...I honestly thought you spent all that money on grape juice.

Phoenix: If you're not careful, I'll spend all your salary money on grape juice, Apollo.

Maya: And this is exactly why kink meme-Nick ends up with tattoos like that!

Phoenix and Edgeworth: ?

I want to try to limp away from this with some dignity in tact."

Phoenix: It's a little late for that.

Apollo and Edgeworth: (Especially since that requires having dignity in the first place.)

Maya: ...spooky.

Speakers: One more until we move on - this one's official title is "BLOOPER (BY NOT!AUTHOR)".

Trucy: I guess I shouldn't have been expecting a real title.

"Oh, mon cherie! I can hardly wait for un petite rape!" Jean shook his ass suggestively.

All: *SCREAM again*

Phoenix: My daughter is in here!!

"Oh ho ho. Prepare yourself." Gant smirked, opening his shirt to reveal a pair of large, magnificent breasts.

All: ...............

Edgeworth: I think this might be worse.

Apollo: Curse my 20/40 vision.

He jiggled them suggestively, advancing on Jean menacingly.

Trucy: I think it's getting worse.

Maya: ...he looks like a female bodybuilder.

Jean shrieked in terror, "Non! This is simply not right!

All: And how.


Apollo: It's kind of refreshing to see a character in badfic have the same reactions we do.

Edgeworth: Considering that was the last line, I'd say too little, too late.

Speakers: Alright, so how did you like our first sample fic?

Edgeworth: Usually samples are given of high-quality goods, not... this.

Phoenix: At least it was short.

Maya: Relatively.

Trucy: Alright, so what's up next?

Apollo: Don't encourage them, Trucy.

[The next fic, titled "Lonely lonely" by the author and bookmarked as "EDGEWORTH SCREAMING IN DISTANCE" by the Management, begins playing.]

Edgeworth: I hate you.
Gregory Edgeworth had felt very alone ever since his wife died.

Phoenix: Suddenly the Management's title makes sense.

Maya: At least it's supposed to be short.

Sure he had his son, but it wasn't that kind of lonely.

Trucy: Look at it this way: at least he isn't-

Phoenix: Trucy, depending on how that sentence ends, I might revoke your internet access.

Trucy: I wasn't going to say anything, Daddy!

Apollo: Smooth.

He was in need of some romance, dammit!

So when he started to get some... feelings, for the man with the afro, and green suit, he didn't reject them.

Maya: Afro...?

Phoenix: Green suit...?

Edgeworth: *takes off glasses, squints at screen* Is that...??

Now he was giving true meaning to Winston's last name.

Edgeworth: ... *bangs head on seat in front of him*

Apollo: Am I supposed to be wondering where this pairing came from?

Phoenix: Nowhere. The answer is nowhere.

"Uh G-Gregory-! You know in most scenorios-! It's the prosecutor that tops-!" Winston yelped.

Trucy: Not according to some fanfiction I've seen.

Maya: Careful, Trucy. I'm pretty sure Nick and Edgeworth have actually argued about who tops in fanfiction more.

Phoenix: Hey! We have not!

Edgeworth: ...actually, I'm fairly certain we did.

Phoenix: ...well, not in front of Maya!!

Maya: *shrugs*

"Oh please be a man about SOMETHING! You are a whimp in court, you can't go two blocks without throwing up in my car, and you sound like a woman!"

Trucy: So does that still make it gay?

Apollo: Yes.

Gregory complained shaking his head. "For the love of god, be a man!"

Trucy: Okay, I guess it is.

Apollo: (What am I, chopped liver?)

"But Gregory-!" Wiston began again right as the door to the supply closet flung open.

Right there, for once dumbstruck from words, was Manfred Von Karma who looked like he just went blind.

Edgeworth: *twitch* ...never thought I'd see the day when I emphasized with Manfred von Karma.

Maya: Well, what else are we supposed to do in this situation?

"What's the matter Manny? Are you surprised that I'm fucking something hotter than you?" Greg asked grinning with pleasure.

Edgeworth: *stares at screen, completely aghast and more than a little offended at the fic's implication*

Phoenix: Don't scream, Edgeworth. It's what the Management wants.

Edgeworth: Just... shut up, Wright.

Apollo: ...I take it this is the weirdest pairing ever featured in this theatre.

Maya: Yeeeeep.

Manfred said nothing, just took a couple steps back and shut the door.

Trucy: I think we would all do the same.

Apollo: Yeah, and then go rinse our eyes out with bleach.

Maya: Bleh, I think I need to go rinse out my entire brain.

Edgeworth: *is still staring at the screen in disgust*

Phoenix: ...I think the fic broke Edgeworth.

Maya: Eh, I think that's giving the kink meme too much credit. *pokes* Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: ...who... who even ships that?

Trucy: I don't think they were being serious.

Edgeworth: They still wrote it.

Apollo: They also obviously didn't put much effort into it.

Edgeworth: ...hmph. Very well, onto the next fic.

Speakers: There's the spirit! Now, let's see, what next? Hmm... that fic where Grossberg lays an egg is a bit too long...

All: What??

[The next fic, called "Channelling + karaoke= bad", begins.]
Phoenix had been reluctant, but Maya insisted. "Come on Nick, karaoke is fun!"

Trucy: It is!

Maya: We should do some karaoke right now!

Apollo: NO.

Trucy: You're no fun.

Phoenix: (Where were you planning on getting the music, anyway?)

"It's fun if you can sing," he muttered. Still, there was no arguing with Maya, and she managed to drag him to a local bar that was hosting a karaoke night. In yet another of the odd coincidences that seemed to perpetually follow Phoenix Wright, half the people he knew were there.

Apollo: Even the ones who wouldn't go to a karaoke bar in the first place?

Edgeworth: Especially the ones who wouldn't go to a karaoke bar in the first place.

Pearl had even channeled Mia to sneak in the door.

After hearing Gumshoe and Payne mangle their songs, Phoenix wasn't optimistic about the next performance... especially when Maya turned to him and said, "This is weird...I feel a spirit trying to contact me."

"In the middle of a bar?"

"It's...Gregory Edgeworth. He wants to sing something."

Edgeworth: *stares at screen for a minute, then lays face in hands*

Phoenix: It can't be two in a row... can it?

Maya: Well, now that you've said it out loud...

"That's not a good idea. His son is sitting right over there." It was too late, though. Now sitting next to Phoenix was a middle-aged man with glasses in a spirit channeler's outfit.

"Hey, buddy. You got the wrong night," the bartender observed. "Drag night is tomorrow."

Trucy: *rimshot*

Maya: Hey, that is actually pretty funny.

Edgeworth: What did I do to deserve this?

Edgeworth ignored him and took the stage. "I'd like to dedicate this next song to a special someone. You know who you are." He picked up the mic and began to sing.

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part
And you play your game
You give looooove....a bad name

Phoenix: ...ouch.

Edgeworth: *banging head on seat in front of him again*

Maya: ...paint your smile on your lips, blood red nails on your fingertips...

Trucy: A schoolboy's dream, you act so shy! Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye!

Apollo: Um, I get the feeling that you two shouldn't be doing that.

Trucy: Phoo.

Meanwhile, Miles was spitting out his drink in shock, Franziska looked completely mortified, and a few others who didn't know Gregory Edgeworth were snickering and pointing. Phoenix gulped when he saw that Pearl/Mia had been replaced, and he was now sitting next to Manfred von Karma.

Edgeworth: *through gritted teeth* Even better.

Maya: Whoooa! You're a loaded gun! Dun dun dun duh nah nah nah nah dun dun dun duh nah nah nah!

Trucy: Whoooa! There's nowhere to run!

Phoenix: Trucy, no.

Maya: No one can save me, the damage is done!

Apollo: Ms. Fey!

"EDGEWORTH! What do you think you're doing? You look like a complete fool." Manfred von Pearl jumped out of his chahir, seething.

Phoenix: ... *snickers a little bit at "Manfred von Pearl"*

Apollo: That skirt is way too short.

Gregory smirked. "Hello, Manfred. You didn't like the song I sang for you? Nice hair, by the way."

Manfred realized he was dressed like a little girl and let out a sound that could only be described as half roar, half scream. "I'd kill you if you weren't already dead, Edgeworth!"

"Isn't once enough, Manfred?"

"What did I ever seen in you?"

"Sometimes I wonder the same thing."

Edgeworth: Of course this fic has to imply the same thing that the last fic did. Of course.

Maya and Trucy: Shot through the heart! And you're to blame! You give loooove a bad name! (Bad name!) I play my part - hey! You play your game! You give loooove a bad name! (Bad name!) You give love, ohhh-

Phoenix: Both of you, knock it off!

Apollo: You're off-time, anyway.

Trucy: Well, we don't have any accompaniment.

Apollo: You should ask Prosecutor Gavin about that, not me.

Maya: But he's not here.

Phoenix: Exactly.

Manfred responded by tossing the nearest chair at the stage. Gregory dodged, then Manfred jumped up on the stage after the chair and took a swing at him, missing again.

"Was your aim always this terrible? It's a wonder you managed to hit me at all with that pistol shot."

Manfred's next punch landed, and Edgeworth grabbed his arm. "Now, now. This is hardly a good example to be setting for our children." Said children, meanwhile, were hiding under a table, ready to die of embarrassment as their fathers carried out what appeared to be a lover's quarrel between two drag queens who couldn't find the right dress size.

Edgeworth: Somehow, I think Franziska would be doing more than dying of embarrassment.

Phoenix: Personally, I think the best course of action here would be to get so drunk you forget about this entirely.

Maya: Seems like a good idea to me!

Apollo: ...aren't you underage?

Maya: I'm not actually sure.

Speakers: The Management would like to request that Maya Fey refrain from speculating as to what point in canon she came from.

Luckily, before the two could do any more damage to the bar or each other, the spell broke, leaving a confused Maya and Pearl standing on stage. "Pearly, what just happened?"

"I don't know, Mystic Maya. I wonder if those spirits had fun."

"Well, I'm on stage, so I might as well sing something."

After listening to Maya's rendition of the Steel Samurai theme, everyone in the bar was wishing for Manfred and Gregory's return.

Maya: Wow, rude.

Trucy: I think you're a good singer.

Maya: Aww, thanks!

Edgeworth: it over?

Apollo: We probably have another fic after this...

Speakers: Give the boy a prize!

Apollo: ...I'm 23.

Speakers: The next one also involves Gregory Edgeworth and Manfred von Karma.

Edgeworth: *twitch*

Speakers: Oh, calm down, Miles Edgeworth. Not like that.

Maya: ...if most of the fics were gonna have them in them anyway, why didn't you just go with that theme and not bother with the first fic at all?

Speakers: The Management would like to request that Maya Fey not question our decisions.

[Our final fic of the day, "TURNABOUT THONG", begins.]
Phoenix: Did... did I read that right?

Trucy: It's even in all caps.

Apollo: I hope they're talking about flip-flops...


Trucy: Huh. Even the fic is in all caps.

Phoenix: Maybe Apollo wrote it.

Apollo: Ha ha.

Edgeworth: I don't want to know where this is going. I don't want to know where this is going...


Maya: Fake ID or not, I'm pretty sure no one's going to let a nine-year-old into a strip club. I mean, that's what this is, right?

Phoenix: I honestly think that's the least of our concerns.



Trucy: So this is... stripper Manfred von Karma?

Apollo: And his stage name is "Magnus Muffin", I guess.

Trucy: Ooooo-kay then.

Edgeworth: ...where do these ideas even come from? Besides my worst nightmares, obviously.



All: ....................

Maya: You've got admit that's kind of impressive.

Phoenix: Maya, no.


Maya: Pfft. What kind of striptease is over in three minutes?

Phoenix: *stares at Maya*

Maya: I'm just saying!



Maya: See? Mr. Edgeworth's dad agrees with me!

Edgeworth: I feel a migraine coming on...


Apollo: Of course he's going to pay for this. He's at a strip club. He's expected to tip the dancers.

Trucy: And how do you know this, Apollo?

Apollo: It's just common knowledge. ...right?


Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Woah. Edgeworth, it's you.

Edgeworth: I noticed.

Phoenix: And the worst part is, considering some of the other fanfictions we've sporked-

Edgeworth: Stop that train of thought right there, Wright.

Maya: Aww. I wanted to hear it.

Trucy: Yeah, me too.

Apollo: I didn't.


Maya: Well, he is a stripper, so-

Phoenix: Maya!

Maya: What? What??


Trucy: Look, Daddy, it's you!

Phoenix: ......................


Maya: On one hand, I feel kind of offended on Mia's behalf. But on the other hand, she'd make an awesome stripper.

Apollo: I'm going to stay out of this conversation.

Edgeworth: That's probably a wise decision.






Trucy: I... I don't get it.

Apollo: It's because his first name is "Slut" in this fic.

Phoenix: Apollo, don't explain the joke.

Apollo: *rolls eyes*

Edgeworth: Are we done yet?

[The lights come back on.]

Edgeworth: Ah, finally.

Speakers: So how did you all like the first Kink Meme Special?

Maya: Why do you keep asking us how we liked things?

Phoenix: You know we didn't.

Apollo: ...wait a minute. "First" Kink Meme Special?

Speakers: Of course! The PWKM is the largest and longest-running on the internet, after all!

Edgeworth: Oh no.

Trucy: But you'll bring in other sporkers next time, right?

Maya: Yeah, to share the crazy around, right?

Phoenix: You'll get no promises from the Management.

Speakers: Too true, Phoenix Wright!

[The doors unlock.]

Speakers: Now, go home.

[The sporkers all exchange wary glances before filing out of the theatre. The readers are, of course, presumably left wondering when exactly the second Kink Meme Special will be, and whether or not that fic where Grossberg lays an egg actually exists. The answer is yes, by the way. Yes, it does exist. And if you haven't read it already - don't worry, you will. Muahahahahaha!]

Speakers: Hey, maniacal laughter is our job!

[Sorry. Go ahead.]


Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

@Airey I wasn't impressed the Gant/Armstrong stuff. I think you (and the characters) could probably due more than just comment on how they find Armstrong and Female!Gant disturbingly unattractive. (Like pointing out how Armstrong seems to be confusing rape with gay sex or how everyone underreacts to seeing Gant, who should be in jail, showing up at their workplaces and asking if he could rape them.) The other sporkings are hilarious. Can't wait for the sequel!

@Rubia I'm sorry. It was not my intention to offend you or make you look callous, but it seems that I did. I should've just let it be and I regret that I did not. Again, Sorry.

Author:  luck [ Wed Jul 15, 2015 12:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Glad you're back, Airey. I missed your sporkings a lot.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

luck wrote:
Glad you're back, Airey. I missed your sporkings a lot.

Aww, thanks!

@cuteyounggirlplus: I dunno, man. It's a kink meme fic. You can't hold them to the same standards as other fics, and the sporkers know it. Illogic gets pretty much ignored in favor of what they're actually seeing, hence, no one commenting that stripper!MvK would be horribly OOC, to use an example that you did like. That's just how I wrote it, though... :sillytrucy:

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Aw, I missed your sporkings, Airey. What a way to stir up the morning. And *ahem* First Kink Special, eh? I'd like to see where it goes.

Still, I think cuteyounggirlplus has a point. Just because it's the kink meme doesn't mean jokes about Armstrong have to be exclusive to his shapely figure and provocative swinging. It's true that most jokes about him end up there, though.

Honestly, I don't mind if you don't spork The Proposal Strategy. All things considered, it's not that bad and kinda boring until the last two pages. It was a pretty long comic too, so I understand it'd be frustrating to get through it all.

I have been caught up in DGS this and DGS that and have kinda left this thread on its own. Now I'm curious to see if I can find any DGS-inspired fics... which for the most part will probably be in Japanese, considering how recent it is. Ah, well. If I don't, I can always feature a certain young attorney and his kooky detective friend.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Ahh, DGS! On one hand, I'd love to see some of that here, but on the other hand, I'm bitter about the lack of a localization announcement and everything DGS right now is like rubbing salt in the wound. :kudo:
By the way, are crossovers acceptable targets?

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 12:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I know the old rules say no to crossovers, but I think it's an outdated rule we can overlook. As long as the franchise crossed over with it is generally recognized and we don't exclude people who don't know a franchise or references within it, we should be good.

And thinking about it, DGS fics will probably be spoilery, so I should refrain... but I hope to bring Ryu and Sherlock back for another quick spin.

Edit: I was browsing Pixiv again and came here. It's a lovable series of DGS shorts with a little Sherlock x Ryu, but it's nothing explicit... aside from Ryu's swearing from being thrown around by super fan Susato.

Author:  luck [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 11:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

If I recall correctly, someone sporked a crossover with Harry Potter once.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Do Ghost Trick and Professor Layton crossovers even count, anyway?
And I know it was a rule that you could only use AA characters in a sporking, but if we're doing a crossover fic, would it be acceptable to bring in one or two crossover characters? Even if this only applies to GT and PL characters, I'd think at least those...

Re: the DGS manga: This is cute. I wish I knew what was going on. *standard Pixiv response*

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

They'd count as crossovers, yes. And personally, I wouldn't mind bringing in the occasional cameo character from another series. I did bring in two certain characters from GT into the theater before, not as part of the sporking itself, of course. For the most part, though, I'd recommend not overdoing these cameos.

As for the DGS comic... well, the first couple don't relate to the others, but the others seem to feature Ryu and Susato staying over at Baker Street 221B. The over-the-top reactions almost killed me, but I wouldn't mind translating it later for you all, in case there is someone who's interested in sporking any of them.

...Right after I've finished translating the Sinful 7 promo.

Author:  luck [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

According to the rules in the first post (which are four years old anyway so I don't think it'd be a real problem not following them completely):

drthingums wrote:
Rules (Shortened, adjusted Version of those of a Sporking Community):

1: Do not post sporkings as a vendetta against someone. ie: I hate him/her, so I'll spork his/her favourite fic!

2: Keep the mocking to the thread only, we aren't here to harass the authors. (So, don't search the fic out and spam it with flame reviews.)

3: Try and list some redeeming features when sporking. If the fic is reasonably well written, make a note of it.

4: If you decide to review a fanfic that was sporked here, please do not link to this thread or tell the writer they have been sporked. Part of the appeal of sporking is being able to vent without the author knowing.

5: While it may be tempting to put yourself or your Original Characer into the sporking that level of hypocrisy is not encouraged. And remember guys, Ace Attorney has tons and tons of characters you can torment with this. Just pick the most fitting ones.

6: Related to this, please use only AA characters as sporkers, unless the Fic is a crossover. This rule is also effective for Layton Characters, despite the existence of the crossover game.

7. Keep the Characters as In-Character as possible in your commentary! Otherwise, the whole meaning of sporking is lost.

8. While it is indeed possible to spork Good Fanfiction and getting a good result (I have sporked some of my own fanfictions before, for Fun), this is not what this thread is for. People might get confused if you go and spork a completly flawless fanfic.

9: You don't have to use colours for the characters, but if you do, use fitting colors, namely Blue for Phoenix, Dark Red for Edgeworth, Purple for Maya, Red for Apollo, ect.

Six implies that crossovers are allowed and that you can throw in characters from the other franchise.

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Considering that we have had sporkings of crossover fics before, I figured as much. It's always good to check back to the list.

I believe we can cross out rule #8, though. No fic is without sin flaw, and fics that aren't that bad can still make amusing sporkings. The sporkers just need to be a bit more creative with its direction.

By the way, luck, did you get my message, or are you just waiting for my "other" one?

Author:  Crescent Moon [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! ... red-Tenant
Um... excuse me, but has anyone sporked this yet? I think this would be good for my first spork. I've always liked this thread, and I've always wanted to try and do one myself...

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! what's the spoiler policy on crossover franchises?
Is cat!Sissel acceptable?

(I've been wanting to do a sporking with him and Athena for a while now, fsr... guess I just need to find the "perfect" fic.)

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

This is still a spoiler-free zone, so I'd think spoilers of other games are just as bad. That said, I think that character can show up under a different "name tag" and it'd be fine.

Author:  luck [ Sat Jul 18, 2015 10:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Finally my sporking is ready. Special thanks to Rubia for her help.

Today's fic is A Winner Is You! by SuddenlyPINNEAPLEZ

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: . It's not as bad as it is boring. Really, nothing happens.

And to spork it, let's welcome...

:nick: Phoenix Wright!
"I thought we didn't have to do this anymore."

:athena: Athena Cykes!
"I'm not going to make out with anyone this time, right?"

:think-think-think: Apollo Justice!
"You might want to reword that, Athena."

:whip: Franziska von Karma!
"You'll pay for this, Management!"

and, as special guest star...

:edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth!

[We open up in the sporking theatre. Miles Edgeworth is seating in a corner and muttering, while Athena Cykes is conversing with Franziska von Karma.]

Athena:...And that's why I work in the Wright Anything Agency.

Franziska: The fool who works for a foolish fool is the foolest of all fools.

Athena: Is that some kind of riddle?

Edgeworth: No. She's calling you 'fool'.

Athena: Well, that's not nice!

[Suddenly, a robotic goon pushes Apollo Justice and Phoenix Wright in.]

Phoenix: Geez, they were serious about automatizing everything.

Athena: Boss! This woman is picking on me!

Apollo: You get used to it.

[Apollo takes a seat between Franziska and Athena and Phoenix does the same next to Athena. And without further ado...YEOWCH!]

Franziska: I'll decide that!

[Fine. And with Ms. Von Karma's permission, the lights dim and the fic starts.]

This is an actual event that happened between me, my mom, my sister and my father, so enjoy my little stupid Mario Kart 8 story" with Ash, Pearl, Maya, and Phoenix playing the roles!

Athena: Well, if it's based on a family event, it can't be too bad.

Phoenix: Unless...

Edgeworth: Wright, please, don't.

Apollo: Wait, who's this Ash guy?

Phoenix: Are we sure it's a guy?

Athena: Maybe it's Ash from Pokemon?

Apollo: Is the fic a crossover?

Speakers: No. According to our sources, this 'Ash' is an original character created by the author.

Edgeworth: If the point of the fic is telling a personal story with us as the cast, why would anyone add an OC in?

Phoenix: You should know by now that trying to find logic in this place won't do you any good.

"Mystic Maya! You hit me!" "Don't worry, Pearly, Ash is still in first place anyways!"

Edgeworth: Nnngh! What has to do the fact that Ash is in first place with the fact that Maya has apparently hit Pearl?

Phoenix: See? It doesn't do you any good.

Apollo: I don't think there's point in complaining about getting hit in Mario Kart. Isn't that a part of the game?

Phoenix: I can see Pearls getting mad about it, actually. If this story is settled when she was a little girl and not in the present time.

Apollo: If it were the present time, Athena and I should be there.

Athena: If I were there, I'd be in the first place instead of that Ash!

Franziska: And if I were there, neither of you would have any chance of winning.

Athena: That's what you think!

Franziska: *glares at Athena*

Athena: *glares at Franziska*

Apollo: (I don't think sitting between them is the best idea I've ever had.)

Pearl, Maya, and Ash were playing Mario Kart 8 on Ash's Wii U. "I wish Phoenix would tell Santa to get me one of these! It'll give him time to work while I play this!"

Phoenix: So I guess we aren't getting an explanation about who's this Ash person and how do we know him enough to play videogames together.

Edgeworth: Were you expecting something else?

Franziska: Maya Fey always fools around with any fool that she meets.

Phoenix: So we've already established Ash as a fool?

Franziska: That was established the moment he was associated with the likes of you.

Apollo: I don't see how Maya playing videogames gives Mr. Wright more time to work.

Phoenix: It makes sense to me. But don't tell her that I said that.

Edgeworth: You're the last person that should complain about people wasting time at work, Wright.

Phoenix: It's not my fault that we only have a client every three months. There's a point where you can't do anything productive anymore.

Athena: Yeah, and cleaning toilets gets pretty boring after a while. Maybe we should buy a Wii U for the office.

Phoenix: Fine, but it's coming out of Apollo's pay.

Maya threw a green shell at Peach, who was being played by Pearl. "Aha! Fourth place!" Maya watched as her character, Daisy, passed Peach and was on her way to pass the others infront of her.
"Don't think you can beat me, Maya. I am the champion, after all!" Ash said triumphantly as she raced over the finish line.

Apollo: She? So Ash is a girl after all?

Athena: That bit about the champion sounds a lot like Ash from Pokemon.

Apollo: So the OC is a genderbender ripoff of a different franchise?

Phoenix: I still don't get why the author decided to shove in an OC instead of using Gumshoe, or something.

Franziska: If Scruffy ever wastes his time playing foolish videogames with you, my whip will tell him my opinion.

Edgeworth: And he'll have to look forward to his next salary review.

Phoenix: (I don't think that would make any difference in his life.)

"Awe! And I was so close too!" Maya whined. Soon, Peach crossed the finished line as well, in 7th place. "Awww..."

Franziska: You were in fourth place, Maya Fey. That's not close. Only the first place is to be proud off.

Edgeworth: Franziska, it's a videogame within a fic. There isn't a need to look for perfection in it. Nnngh!

Franziska: Every single part of life should be perfect, little brother.

Athena: (Little brother?)

After they watched the highlight reel in slow motion, listening to the absurd sounds the game made while being slowed down, Phoenix walked in. "What's with all the yelling?" Maya looked over at him like he had three heads. "Phoenix, you've never played Mario Kart, have you...?"

Edgeworth: And once again, the answer has nothing to do with the question.

Apollo: I don't think that even counts as an answer.

Phoenix: Wait, why am I there? Weren't they playing on Ash's Wii U?

Athena: Maybe she invited you all to play and you were in the toilet or something.

Phoenix: But fic-me doesn't know what they're doing.

Edgeworth: Perhaps she brought her console to your office.

Athena: Carrying a home console around? That's a lot of work for a few races.

Phoenix: And somehow, I still haven't noticed. What was I doing anyways?

Apollo: I don't know how a story as simple as this can have so many plot contrivances.

Edgeworth: It's what happens when you shove original characters into our lives without any explanation.

He looked at the game in puzzlement. "No, but I still don't see why it causes such a ruckus." Ash shook her head. "Sit down and grab a remote, now."

Phoenix: Well, you're not the boss of me.

Athena: You told her, Boss!

Franziska: They can't hear you.

Phoenix: You've done the same just a moment aYEOWCH!

Franziska: Further comments, Phoenix Wright?

Athena: Of course he has! Don't think a little whip is going to shut him up!

Phoenix: YEOWCH! Athena, please, don't speak for me.

Giving her a skeptical look, Phoenix sat down on the couch next to Ash, picking up one of the white remotes. "Okay," Ash began to flick through the options, selecting Multiplayer, Grand Prix, and then 100, the medium level of the game, where the CUPs could still win.

Phoenix: Apparently I wasn't doing anything more important than playing videogames.

Edgeworth: At least that much is in character.

Athena: Medium level? When we have that console, we'll always select hard, right Apollo?

Apollo: I still haven't agreed to that.

Franziska: the CUPs? Of all the things the author could have failed at spelling, it has to be the acronym in caps?

Athena: Maybe it isn't an acronym, and the opponents have all cup-shaped karts.

Phoenix: That'd be a pretty weird-looking kart.

Apollo: It wouldn't really stand out much in this game.

After Maya, Pearl and Ash had selected their characters, Ash snatched Phoenix's remote. "Which character do you want?" Scanning over the racers once, he shrugged. "You pick." Grinning evilly to herself, Ash picked the craziest of characters, Lenny, than gave it back to the confused Phoenix. "It fits him to a tee, don't 'cha think, girls?" Maya was the first to respond. "Absolutely!" She giggled.

Phoenix: How does that thing fits me?

Franziska: It has a rather strange hair.

Pearl took a minute to look at the character. "Does this mean that Mr. Nick dyes his hair different colors...?" Ash gave her a chuckle and winked at her. "Possibly... We never know!~" (A/N Didn't actually happen, just put it in there out of stupidity)

Edgeworth: Stupidity is indeed the only explanation for that scene, because it doesn't add anything to the story.

Apollo: And why does she says that they don't know if Mr. Wright dyes his hair? Shouldn't that be obvious?

Athena: *chuckle*

Apollo: What?

Athena: I'm just imagining your hair dyed that way.

Apollo: Why me!?

Athena: Because your hair is funny.

Edgeworth: That description could be very easily applied to Wright's hair, too.

Franziska: The important part is that it was about the hair, so I was right as always.

Phoenix: Except in triaYEEOOOWCH!

Franziska: When will you learn, Phoenix Wright?

As soon as Ash started the race, it was finished. The results for the first three races were Ash in first, Maya in fourth, Pearls in eighth, and Phoenix last.

Apollo: The results were exactly the same in the three races?

Edgeworth: Coincidences and contrivances, the population of all the fics we review here.

Franziska: Don't forget lack of proofreading.

Phoenix: And bad spelling.

Athena: And awkward grammar.

Apollo: And run-of-the-mill what-the...

Phoenix: Watch your language, Apollo.

Apollo: ...what-the-heckery.

Speakers: Your point is made, snivelers.

"This is the stupidest game ever..." Phoenix grumbled angrily while Ash was scolding him plaufully. "You're only saying that because you're terrible at it!"

Phoenix: Well, excuse me for losing at a game I've never played in my life.

Franziska: The foolish excuse of a foolish fool.

Athena: How do you scold someone playfully?

Phoenix: Apollo, finish that paperwork right now! Then we can play with Trucy. See?

Athena: Is there anything you can't do?

Franziska: Win a case without bluffing.

Edgeworth: Keep his badge out of people sight.

Franziska: Endure whippings like a man.

Phoenix: We get it.

Apollo: Trucy always forces me to stop doing the paperwork and play with her, anyways.

That all changed on the last round.

Athena: The plot thickens!

Apollo: I don't think I can't hold all this emotion!

Phoenix: Please, tell us what happens next!

Edgeworth: And so ends another act of the Wright Sarcasm Agency.

Franziska: Do I have to clap?

It was the last lap and Phoenix was in the lead. "YES!" He cheered as he crossed the finish line before any of the other racers. "I won. I'm done." He dropped the remote and walked away as Ash called,"You know that I'm still first in total, right?!"

Phoenix: But I still beat you in a game I've never played and you're pretty much an expert at.

Athena: It only had taken me one race to master the game.

Franziska: And I could have done so in one lap.

Athena: But you'd never beat me, anyways.

Franziska: What did you say?

Apollo: Someone wants to change seats with me? Please?

Phoenix, Edgeworth: No.

Now, these are the roles the characters played; Pearl: My sister, Maya: My mother, Ash: Me, Phoenix: My father.

Phoenix: Wait, that's it? That's the family event you found meaningful enough to share with the Internet? You played Mario Kart 8?

Apollo: Can you even call that story?

Edgeworth: There's a entire fiction gender about everyday events. But I refuse to call story to anything shown in this theatre.

Phoenix: I'm pretty sure you've done it lot times, though.

Now, I do NOT ship Phoenix and Maya, I just made Maya my mother because she never wins and seeing Ash is older, it would make more sense for her to win, even though I beat my mother and father. Besides, Ash was slightly based off me, so...

Phoenix: She was based off you, so she wins? Very classy, author.

Edgeworth: And that, ladies and gentlemans, is how a Mary Sue is born.

[The lights come back on]

Apollo: Well, I have things to do.

[He exits the theater quickly.]

Edgeworth: Do you know why Justice was in hurry all of sudden.

Phoenix: I think he's afraid of the ladies.

Franziska: I could be the first in any game you chose.

Athena: It wouldn't be fair if I chose. Apollo, you chose! *looks around* Where's Apollo?

Edgeworth: Very wise of him.

[Phoenix and Edgewoth leave while Franziska and Athena keep bickering. And so, another sporking comes to an end. And I'm still not getting paid.]

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Sat Jul 18, 2015 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I like the phrase "what-the-heckery" and it will hereafter be worked into my person lexicon.

Also I feel bad for the Narrator. :yogi:

Author:  Skittlemask [ Sat Jul 18, 2015 7:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Hello! I found this thread back in the summer of 2013 and read maybe 40% of the sporkings from the backup forums and then kind of forgot about it. Anyway this summer I decided to read some again and ended up reading all 19 pages of this thread and would love to work on my own sporking! I wanted to do the same in 2013 but never got around to it, so I'll be using the fic that I still have saved during that time, which appears to no longer be on

I already started working on my sporking a couple of days ago and it's almost done, but I have a question first. Am I allowed to use the teleporter or not? The "out of order" sign and secrecy behind it is kind of making me wary... and I don't want to ruin anyone's plans that they may have with it. If someone is planning something special with it I'll just wait until then to upload mine. If not then I expect to have it up sometime next week. :will:

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 2:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Welcome to the Sporking Theater! We're always glad to have new sporkers.

And don't worry about it. Let's just say the teleporter is still in working order, but when through some new revamps. I'll leave it up to your imagination what they may be. ;)

@ TheMoonlitAttorney: That fic is free game. I look forward to see what you produce!

As for that series of 4-koma comics, as promised, I'll translate them for everyone.

Note: The first picture warns against spoilers (and yaoi), but it's just based on when Ryu and Susato were staying with Holmes shortly after arriving in London.

Pgs 2-3: "Where there are puzzles, there is Mr. Holmes!"
[T/N: title as spoken by Susato]
Susato: When we may need Mr. Holmes' assistance, would this be good enough?
(Arrow: "this")
Ryu: Uh... how should I put it... I don't think so...

*cue Holmes*


Ryu: Could you bring the thing to catch "Thats-her-lock Holmes", please?
Susato: Oh, most certainly!

We've caught him! The bait this time was also a puzzle!
Ryu: (I have no words...)

Mr. Holmes... !?
(Who the heck!?)

Pgs 4-10: "Bulls-eye"
[T/N: yaoi warning... eh, more like shonen-ai, really]
Holmes: As for residence, it's no problem. You can stay with us! Leave the cleaning to Iris.
Susato: Oh, wow! Yippee!
Ryu: ...

It seems like you've got everything under control, but...
Holmes: That goes without saying! It's simply the logical conclus-
Ryu: Wouldn't we basically be living together?

Holmes: !?

That's rather conceited of you to assume I'd do anything, Mr. Naruhodo!
Ryu: You mean with Susato (read: "fan")?
Holmes: Yes, exactly!


Susato: *squee* To be living under the same roof as that Sherlock Holmes!
It's just like a dream... Mr. Holmes is resting right under this floor! I... I...

(Susato Throw)

(Arrow: Naruhodo)

Ryu: (Damn it...!!)

Holmes: *whistling*


Mr. Naruhodo... I've heard you Orientals can be a bit "negative", but this is too much...
Landing on a guy's chest in the middle of the night...
Ryu: Wow, the people here are pretty "positive" about things. At least, I think...

Holmes: We can't be sure that Ms. Susato will toss you down here again, so I suggest sleeping on this floor.
Ryu: Uh, alright, but...
Can you sleep with someone else's body heat?

Holmes: The London winter is rather chilly. I can act as your warmer, free of charge!
Ryu: Okay...
(He's not letting me go, is he?)

(...Actually, this is kinda warm...)


Iris: Sherlock and Ryu...
seem to have forgotten about me!
[Iris' new story confirmed]


Ryu: Mm? Morning already... Good morni-
Why are you stark naked!?

Holmes: Isn't it obvious? It's hard to sleep with clothes on.
Ryu: Oh, is that all?

It's cold sleeping naked!!

Huh? Susato!? Scary!!
Susato: ...

The two of you lying together naked... the morning after... cross-cultural exchange ♂...
I... I...

(Susato Throw v.2)

Ryu: (Damn it...!!)

Author:  luck [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 12:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Time to update the recommended fic list

Shadow Magician wrote:
I have now read through every spork (save 'some R18 fic'...) and the image of me, trying to stifle my laughter at 4 in the morning came very true. :D
I've found some spork-worthy material which would strike fear into the hearts of ocertain sporkers: a Phoenix/Maya lemon. A badly-written lemon.
And here we are, ladies and gentlemen.

Aquabreeze claimed this one but we haven't heard of her in a while

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
One moment, please.

I still love this thread. If anyone hasn't done this one yet, I have an offering: ... ic-Reviews

It'd be a sporking of a sporking of a fanfic. This author's attempts at sarcastic reviews aren't nearly as entertaining as the ones I've seen here, and I figure it'd be a nice addition.

Darth Wiader wrote:

This one was sporked in the old thread, but apparently only the first part. And there's a high chance that it's lost forever anyway

Forrest wrote:
Found a terrible one full of Writing errors
I was going to do it myself, but I haven't got the time to do it.

PhoenixFlame53 did the first three chapters, but the last two are unsporked

Darth Wiader wrote:
I've found a HORRIBLE one today... You want to know what it is? Read it yourself. (WARNING: Swearing and mature content)

Ceence wrote:
Meanwhile, I found an... Interesting fic. It's a cross over with my little pony ... ht-Contest
I won't be sporking it, but it's really worth sporking.

Thane sporked a fragment of this fic

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Speaking of new fics, has anyone tried this one? Oh dear. I can't bring myself to go behind the first few paragraphs... because ROFL.

Thane sporked the first chapter, but there's another one

Builderkid107 wrote:
I doubt it, but has anyone done this yet?

It's really not that bad, but I can come up with some good material for it.

(It was in the fanfic contest on, im gonna get some flack for this one...)


AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Double posting? Lol, what?
I'll try to go back and edit this post according to what gets sporked/reccomended.

Note: I started on page five. There may have been a few things linked before that, but I figured starting where I joined the thread was as good a place as any. I also quoted the original posts they were linked in just for original-searcher-credit's sake. Sporked fics will be crossed out. If I missed any, let me know and I'll fix it~

SenorJustice-dono, who has not posted in the thread in a while wrote:
I was thinking of sporking one myself that was just some nonsense about the Roman Empire and a time-travelling Phoenix that inexplicably comes to defend someone from the Roman empires and it's just train wreck of a fic. Another thing that's weird is random cameos from Bobby Fulbright and Simon Blackquill, which are nonsensical because of the fact
that a.) Blackquill is out of jail after DD, despite the fact that the fic has him in jail with one of the main characters, and b.)"Bobby Fulbright" is still in his detective guise, just to sput his catchphrase
. Here's the link if you want to read it:

SeniorHustice-dono is still working on it

Rubia gave up on this one but has already done the first two chapters.
This one has been updated recently

Gnobo, who has not posted in the thread in a while wrote:
I actually have an Apollo/Ema fanfic sporking I'm working on. And this fanfic happens to be written by the same author as Blackmail.

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
On a different note, if we're starting to allow more and more NSFW fanfics, apparently. I'll just throw this out: Manfred and Miles. Thoughts?

sumguy28 wrote:
Oh, and has this been sporked yet? Just by that description alone, it feels like a crime if it hasn't been sporked.

Saresa wrote:
I found this one fic on It's no way as horrifying or creepy as the ones we've had recently... alright, it *is* creepy, but not in the same way.

It's basically a copy-paste of the first 2 canon cases, with a Mary-Sue shoved in to steal Nick's heart and save everyone with her "amazing detective skills". It was a real pain to read. If no one is interested, I would like to spork this one, though I have no idea on where to start from with a format like that.
Thane was working on the sporking for that but hasn't posted in the thread in a while and only did the first chapter.
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
I went oneshot-searching.
I found this. Also, the this and this. And this one that isn't a oneshot.
Who wants what?

Edit: Tenth page wup wup!

Second Edit: I also found this, which I actually thought was pretty cute aside from the blatant punctuation errors.
Third Edit: I thought xreaders were supposed to be in second person?
Fourth Edit: These are a lot easier to find than I thought...

Pessimistic_Fool wrote: when the warning says "very stupid", you know you're in for a treat. ;) Good material for a fun spork. Make sure to take your time to appreciate the Huge Text Block of Doom (tm). ... utor-Style: Haven't read it, but the description sounds promising. (Probably best for a funny/silly spork)

FlashFilms wrote:
Hi! I just got start reading a bunch of Sporks and am wondering if this could make a good filler: Short yet not bad but it make me want to get brain bleach as some one who doesn't ship much. You'll see as you read (If you dislike the pairing to begin with).

Just wondering so maybe I can start on writing my first Spork.
Although that fic was reccomended against...
cesar26100 wrote:
Has anyone checked out this yet?

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
The kink meme is a glorious place and thank you cesar26100 for opening my eyes to it. That said, there is a surprising amount of mpreg and tentacles in this fandom. Didn't see that one coming...

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
The fics are pretty well-written but some of them are just... well, why don't you take a look at "engrish" yourself?

(Bonus link to "Matt x mirror".)

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Anyway, here's the link to that crossover I mentioned. I notice gratuitous amounts of OOC and a time set "1000 years" after LoK, which at most would be represented by the late 1800s - early 1900s by our history. Also, the author has no concept of how bending is supposed to work.

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
*cracks knuckles* Yes ma'am!
I'm just gonna dump all most of my C-R-appropriate(ish) bookmarked badfics here, then. (There's also a post I made on page 10 that lists all the fics that have been linked to lately.) (And I'm not reposting links to the kink meme things I've already linked to, like "Matt x mirror".)
Spoiler: Links and synopses
Quercus Alba and cross-dressing. Not badly written (kind of silly and pretty funny, to be honest) but mindscarring nonetheless.

A little bit smutty but mostly pretty dumb. Again, not that bad. Wrightworth, although at this point that's like shooting fish in a barrel, no?

Phoenix is a mouse. Either that or he's the size of a mouse. I'm not sure which. Anyway, there's a sex scene(?) near the end but it's short and can be cut out.

I'm not sure how to describe this one. But this author writes really good fanfiction. You know, in the sporking theatre sense of the word.

Crossover with the Lion King. Starring Edgeworth as Simba, Phoenix as Nala, von Karma as Scar, and Gregory as Mufasa.

Crossover with Beauty and the Beast (yes, Disney version). Starring Phoenix as Belle, Mia as... Belle's dad (I know he had a name but I forget. I wanna say Laurice), Edgeworth as the Beast, Gumshoe as Cogsworth, and Franziska as Lumiere. She whips people with fire. Because she's a candle.

Okay. Again. I'm not sure how to describe this one. I bookmarked it as "SPITS" for a reason. (As in that was my reaction. And not in an entirely negative way.)

Like half of it would have to be cut out, but hey, Edgeworth in a dress because reasons. Also, a handy reference pic.

"In a deep, dark room in the lowest levels of Hell, von Karma, Gant, Matt, Dahlia and Kristoph play a game of poker and agrue about who was more awesome/evil."

Edgeworth and Phoenix pass notes in court. It's exactly as immature as it sounds.

Prompt: Apollo and Klavier... roleplaying as Phoenix and Edgeworth, in bed. Fill: not actually as smutty as the requester wanted it to be. Could probably get away with posting it here with minimal cutting.

Edgeworth flirts with Phoenix. It's hilarious.

In which Phoenix is a Disney princess, and it's much better than the aforementioned Beauty and the Beast crossover. It also comes with a picture.

I think this is a crossover with the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire? Or however it was spelled... anyway, AA cast as gangstas. It's special all right.

Phoenix and Edgeworth play Guitar Hero. Klavier shows up and starts hitting on Phoenix? He keeps calling him "mein strudel".

Intentionally bad fanfiction. IDK.

Phoenix writes a (bad) smutty Wrightworth fanfic and Edgeworth edits it. The sporking will be incredibly meta. (...I'm pretty interested in doing this one myself.)

Mpreg, Edgeworth gives birth (or rather, goes into labor since the fic is unfinished) to Gourdy's child. Oh and Phoenix already had a child by Gourdy. You don't wanna know.

This one pairs Morgan Fey and Wendy Oldbag.

Edgeworth being an over-the-top action hero. Not bad, really, but it'd make for a pretty funny sporking, I think.

Richard Wellington gets uncomfortably sexual with a banana. It was inevitable, really.

Drunk Edgeworth uses really, really bad pickups lines on Phoenix.

Drunk Edgeworth uses really, really bad pickups lines on Phoenix. Featuring anagrams.

It's incredibly short, but it's Judge/Canadian Judge and that's incredible. For a very different reason.

Phoenix and Edgeworth yell inappropriate things at each other in court. Remember what I said about Wrightworth fics being punching bags?

You'd have to cut a fair bit of this out but still has potential here. Edgeworth and Phoenix and Phoenix's two triplet brothers.

My kingdom for a Wrightworth fic that's not stupid...

Larry writes a Wrightworth fanfic. In the eyes of the kink meme, this makes sense.

Edgeworth/Kristoph. Thoroughly OOC.

Remember "engrish"? Well, there's more where that came from.

Grossberg lays an egg. ...I won't say any more.

Phoenix and Edgeworth angrily strip in court at two separate points during Farewell, my Turnabout. (It's actually two completely different fics, I think.) The first one features a sex scene but if you cut it out it loses literally nothing.

Edgeworth: "A dream?! Is this an 'it was all a dream' ending?! I'M SO GLAD IT WAS THAT KIND OF ENDING-!"

Wendy Oldbag gives sex advice. It goes... actually a lot better than you'd think but that doesn't mean the fic is any good.

And that's all. For now.

Hmm... seems I'm severely lacking in fics that feature Dual Destinies characters... :think-pw:

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Second edit: Richard Wellington strangles Edgeworth to death. Because why not.

Matt Engarde stabs Edgeworth to death in front of Phoenix. At least Shelly de Killer shows up at the end!

(Why are there so many fics where Edgeworth dies? ...the other ones were tagged rape and/or were super long, though.)

And, uh, I know you said no rape but this is just so completely, utterly bad. Not particularly disturbing (just run-of-the-mill disturbing) but wow is it ever OOC. And stupid. And OOC. And short. And did I mention it was OOC?



DEFENSE ATTORNEY PHOENIX WRIGHT aw dangit it's another incredibly OOC rape fic, also why did the author hit enter after every single line?

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
As of the time of this post, HermannVonKarma and I are working on a sporking of this.
TheJettSet27 wrote:
I would enjoy sporking a fanfiction sometime. In fact, I have a couple lined up. The first one is actually written well, it's just the shipped characters and the use of the magatama I find most interesting: ... SUCCESSFUL
This is one I would bring Adrian or Luke in, considering they're the couple in here.

This one is an absolute gem!

And finally (making this more than a couple) another Kristoph one. He is found not guilty and allowed to roam free. This has bonus points in my book for the mention of him wearing one glove because all I could see in my head was him in a Michael Jackson outfit. ... Chronicles

wizkid99 wrote:
Instead of a sporking, I wanted find something you guys to have this fanfic I found while browsing through Ace Attorney fan fiction.
This was written by the same guy who wrote "An Office Affair"
I'll look forward to anyone's next sporking.

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Psst, Rubia: I finally found you an Investigations fic. It's a little bit on the long side and honestly not that bad (...actually, I thoroughly enjoyed it) but it is very silly. Here.
Rubia seems to be working on this.
wizkid99 wrote:
I found this other fic that was written for the kink meme. I thought you people should check it out.

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:


(Or, you know, anyone really, but you were definitely the first person I thought of.)

wizkid99 wrote:
Someone has to spork this:
Not really much to say about this one. Just read it. :damon:

wizkid99 wrote:
Anyway,I found this fic that ship Franziska and Blackquill.I thought you should check it out:

I also found this fic featuring Drunk Gumshoe:
wizkid99 wrote:
Here's a short crackfic where Edgeworth signs up for art class:
Edit:I just found this other fic that is suppose to be a parody of this story, "My Immortal" fic that I keep hearing about. So it's indented to be bad:

Its a pretty funny read. :gant

wizkid99 wrote:
Wow, this is really getting interesting over there. Great sporking as usual Airey!

Moving on, I found this fic featuring LukeXMaya. And Maya coming over for Ace Detective advice. Yeah, you can already see the huge plot hole created from the premise alone. I remember reading this once and I don't know why I didn't instantly suggest this for sporking material. :eh?:

Here it is:

iglootheraptor wrote:
Hey, I think that I'm going to be doing this lovely spork

I was going to do chapter two of Flappy Attorney, but I think I'll wait until the old management comes back. :yogi:

iglootheraptor was apparently going to spork it

wizkid99 wrote:
I found a fic where Apollo gets put in a maze and has to escape with other characters. I don't know why I keep losing my attention when reading this fic. I must not be very interested in the fic in the first place. :nick:

wizkid99 wrote:
Anyway, I currently reading a fic where Kristoph Gavin and Daryan Crescend escape from prison....And that's all I'm going to tell you for now because I'm not done yet, and for spoilers. The fic is thirty-seven chapter's long. As of this post, I'm on chapter twenty-three. And I don't know how to feel about this fic whether it's too good to not be sporked or if it's sporkable material. I want to let my fellow sporker's read it to judge for themselves.The fic itself is a slight AU where Kristoph adopted Apollo six years before AJ:AA and a slight Klavipollo is in there to. The fluff doesn't kick in until later.

Here it is:

wizkid99 wrote:
Here's a fic where Winston Payne goes back in time to erase Wright from existence.

sumguy28 wrote:

This one seems like it should be a parody, but it's listed under Tragedy, so why not. ...Actually it is a tragedy: the tragic death of proper grammar.

wizkid99 wrote:
In other news, I found this crack fic where Maya is a teacher. I remember reading this fic last year but got bored of it. It's pretty ridiculous. \

Darth Wiader wrote:
I've found some rather strange fics: ... d-Edgy-Fic ... Laughabout

wizkid99 wrote:
Moving on, I found another fic that I read some time ago. It's a fic where Phoenix has to hide Maya from his landlord because Phoenix didn't sign extended stay forms.

Here it is:

TheMoonlitAttorney is working on this one

Veruni wrote:
I would really love to see a sporking of this masterpiece:

Next to Phoenix's Turnabout, the last two chapters of which are tragically lost forever, that's my favorite trollfic of all time.

Rubia is doing this, if I'm not mistaken

luck wrote:
I've found a fic that can only be described with three words and one of them is not to pronounce in front of kids.

Seriously, what's that?

Rysiek wrote:
I wanted to say, I like this thread. :acro: As to proposing fanfics, maybe someone can Spork Evr1 420 yolos made? It is actually good(and written bad on purpose as I saw the author writing beter than there :beef: ), but it may be fun to spork :gymshoe:
:meekins: :meekins:

TheJettSet27 is doing this one

TheGreatSnarkoo wrote:
I found this self-insert fic on It's not horrendous, but it seems like good sporking material. ... e-Attorney
Anyone interested in this? If not, I guess I could give it a try.

TheGreatSnarkoo wrote:
Ignore post.
Edit: I found this while browsing Fanfiction. It's fairly old, but I don't think it's been sporked yet. I only skimmed it quickly, so I can't say much about the writing quality. Anyone interested in giving it a go?

luck wrote:
I might try some short oneshots of that list that Airey posted when I finish my exams to keep this up.

In the meantime, I've found this fic It's not really bad, but it's extremely silly so it'd make for a funny sporking. And the premise is just weird.

I'm not sure if Rubia and TheGreatSnarkoo did decide to work on this one or not

The sporked ones are crossed out and the underlined ones have been erased from existence.

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

As someone who was introduced to fan fiction (and the sporking of fanfiction) through the Harry Potter fandom, I call the My Immortal rip-off.

Author:  luck [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

That one isn't the only parody of My Inmortal we have. This one is supposed to be written by Manfred von Karma.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

We need more meta-fanfiction, lol.

Edit: @Rubia: thanks for the translation! I wish I could actually play the game :grey: If only to see how much merit the ship has...!

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I haven't heard from GreatSnarkoo in a while, so I dunno if they're still around. Speaking of which, I had totally forgotten about that fic I first introduced to this thread. I've already got enough on my plate, but I am really tempted to make a write-up on the "dangers of bad sporkings".

And about that one Investigations fic I queued back then: I've been looking forward to calling Lang back since everything's basically become automatized by now, but I ran through several drafts that didn't quite work. If anyone else is interested in taking it, feel free to. If I ever find inspiration to return to it, I may tackle it again, but for now, it's also free game.

And for that "Rubina" fic... ergh, hak, cawff. It's still on my plate, so I'll see what I can do to celebrate. *sigh*

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Phoenix Wright: Goffik Attorney

:sahwit: :sahwit: I rate this fic two sahwits. The spelling is atrocious and everyone is OOC, of course, but there was really no way this two chapter fic was ever going to be able to match the 40+ chapter Bellatrix that is My Immortal. Honestly, out of all the fics sporked on this forum the only one that came close to My Immortal is Law plus Chaos. (I'm also going to say that for all the infamy it gets, My Immortal is not the worst Harry Potter fic out there. Trust me.) I don't even feel like it worth it to spork the second chapter. To sum up, this fic is a fail on two levels. On one hand, it fails as a fic because of how bad it is, and on the other hand, it fails as a My Immortal rip-off because of how not bad it is. Well, we can at least be thankful that the author followed Rule 666,666: End on a cliffhanger and never appear on the internet again.

Warning: This fic contains self-harm and heterosexual content.

Our Sporkers:

All three arrive in the theater without a sound.

Franziska: Foolish fools! I am not going to be babysitting for you fools!


Trucy: Yeah, Me and Apollo don't need a babysitter! We have Mr. Hat!

Franziska: Hmph. *whips them both* No more foolish behavior from the both of you fools, now!

Both: Y-yes, Miss Von Karma.

the lights dim down

Phoenix Wright: Goffik Attorney

Franziska: What kind of foolish word “Goffik”?

Trucy: Ah! I know what this is! What about you, Polly?

Apollo: …a badfic, right? (As if we get anything else around here.)

Trucy: But what style of badfic is it?

Apollo: (Just what does she mean by ‘style’?)

Trucy: It’s My Immortal-style

Apollo: What?

Trucy: It’s a style of trollfic where one mimics the famous Harry Potter badfic My Immortal. ‘Goffick’ is how the original author spelled ‘gothic’.

Apollo: …Okay. (Why does she know this?)

Franziska: *tightens whip* What kind of foolish fool would foolishly mimic another foolish fool’s foolishness?

Apollo: The kind that end up here.

Chapter 1: In Da Beginnin

Franziska: Foolish fool! “The” is not spelled “D-a”. And you forgot a ‘G’! *Prepares her whip only to be greatly shocked.* Arghh!

Management will now be administrating shocks before any attempts to destroy the Sporking Theater. This is your only warning, Miss Von Karma.

Apollo: (This isn’t going to end well.)

AN: Hai guys thx for reading you rox! Im just expeminting here, so dont be too harsh!

Apollo: Well, I can’t make any promises…

Franziska: ‘Hi.’ The foolish fool misspelled ‘Hi.’ One of the easiest words in your foolish language and the foolish fool misspelled it.

Trucy: Cheer up, Miss Von Karma. At least they didn’t misspell ‘I’ like the original author did.

Apollo: Trucy, you’re making it worse.

My name is Phoenix Wright and Im a defence aterney.

Franziska: This foolish fool’s foolishness grows with each sentence. How can you misspell a word in your first sentence if you spelled it right in the title, you foolish fool of a fool?

Trucy: But that’s one of the rules!

Apollo: …Rules?

Trucy: Silly Polly. You know, The 666+ Rules of an “My Immortal” Rip-off Fanfic. See, here: Rule 328b: “If you spell a word right once, then you must misspell it if use the word again.”

Franziska: Grgh!

Apollo: …What’s rule 328a?

Trucy: Rule 328a: “Try to misspell as many words as possible while still keeping your fic technically readable.”

Franziska: *gets shocked* Garrghh!

I have pale white skin cuz i put on a bunch of fundation everyday with losts of black eyeliner.

Apollo: How does putting on foundation give someone place white skin?

Trucy: It doesn’t. The author was just trying to follow both rule 2 and rule 211a.

Apollo: Let me guess: Rule 2 is “your protagonist must be deathly pale” and Rule 211a is “your protagonist must wear too much makeup at all times”.

Trucy: Wow, Polly! You’re such a quick learner.

My heir is jet sable and covering my brown eyes a little bit and its spiked in the back.

Franziska: *having just recovered from the shock* Jet sable? How can a foolish fool correctly use ‘sable’ but misspell ‘hair’?

Trucy: Haven’t you realized it yet, Miss Von Karma? This here is a trollfic. It’s intentionally bad.

Franziska: …Intentionally…bad? The foolish fool is trying to be foolish? I mean, not everyone can be as perfect as a von Karma but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try! Foolish fool!

I have a lip piercing too.

Franziska: What foolishness is this? Does the term ‘court appropriate apparel’ mean nothing? Men should not have piercings in court!

Apollo: That didn’t stop Prosecutor Gavin. (Or your father.)

I where a balck suit with a red tie since ima a layer duh (its kinda like how Gerard way wuld dress. If u dont no who he is gtfo!)

Apollo: Don’t mind if I do. Aaaah!

Management will now be shocking those who attempt to leave for the rest of the sporking. This is your final warning.

Franziska: Urgh, Not only are those foolish misspelling too numerous to correct them all, but an author’s note in the middle of the fanfiction. Does this ‘troll’ have no professionalism?

Trucy: Of course they have professionalism. They’re following both Rule 279 and Rule 328a!

Franziska: Aaaarrrrrgggh!

Im a goff obviusly and I hate prepz.

Franziska: If ‘goff’ means ‘goth’ then what word is the fool butchering with ‘prepz’?

Trucy: Oh, that’s easy. Just see rule 1a: “Your protagonist should be a stereotypical goth with an unhealthy hatred for preps and posers.” ‘Prepz’ means preps!

Franziska: I see. What kind of foolishness is ‘preps’?

Trucy: Rule 1b: “For the purpose for your fic, ‘preps’ mean anyone who isn’t goth and ‘posers’ mean anyone who is goth but your protagonist still hates.”

Today is my first case. I have to defind my friend Lerry buttz sinse hes being blamed for a murdre he didnt do. Hes always had bad luck, but I knew he could never hurt anyne. To be honest hes kind of a bitch.

Franziska: Those spellings errors! Does the foolish fool have a foolish agenda against spell-check? And where are the apostrophes?

Trucy: What do they think they’re doing? They’re completely breaking Rule 402: “Do not follow the original plot. Only the most basic of elements of the original should be in your fic and even then you should get them wrong.” They shouldn’t be talking about Daddy’s first trial at all.

I was in the defence lounge waiten. Suddenly, someoen called me.

Franziska: How can the fool find so many foolish ways to foolishly misspell words?


Franziska: The foolish fool even misspelled the character’s name!

"Ah!" I truned around. It was my boss mia.

Franziska: Captilization, fool! You capitalize people’s names, even if they are defense attorneys.

She was berry pretty.

Apollo: So she was pretty by berry standards?

Her skin was pale two

Franziska: Gah. The foolish fool can’t even spell basic words right. Don’t even trolls know how to correct homonyms?

Apollo: (I think Prosecutor von Karma still doesn’t understand what trolls are.)

She had ruby orbs, black eye shawdow, long black hair wiff red tips, and black lipstikc.

Trucy: Oh, ruby orbs, where? I bet they’re really pretty!

Apollo: …They meant her eyes, Trucy.

She was goffik and a vampire.

Franziska: What is this foolishness? A vampire?

Trucy: Ah, Rule 793a: “Bonus points if a character is a vampire for no reason.”

She whore a black dress with blak combat boots. "You scured me."

Apollo: That was… a misfortunate misspelling.

Franziska: The foolish fool misspelled the same word in two different ways. The foolish fool misspelled the same word in two different ways. The foolish fool misspelled the same word in two different ways…

Apollo: (Well, she’s finally broken.)

"Are you ready for your trail she asked

Franziska: Punctuate. Your. Sentences. Properly. Foolish. Fool.

"I think so." I said. I was nervous so i took out my razor blade and started slittin my wursts to feel better.

Apollo: Because that makes sense.

Trucy: It’s Rule 153a: “Characters should commit self-harm, ideally by slitting their wrists, whenever they feel even slightly down. The act of harming one’s self should be considered such a causal act (and not a serious real life issue) that it doesn’t need any description. The characters shouldn’t even bother cleaning up after themselves.”

Franziska: Foolish fool! Wrists aren’t sausages!

"You are so cool to take a murder as your first case."


"Yea its so sexoyy" she winked at me sneakily liking her lips

Apollo: This is wrong. I know this definitely didn’t happen.

Trucy: Rule 13a: “Everyone should be in love with the protagonist, even the villains. It doesn’t matter if the protagonist is underage and the other person is a grown adult. The protagonist is just so hot that they can’t resist. The goal is that by the end of the story the protagonist should have a harem, just don’t refer to her ‘group of friends’ as one.”


Apollo: Did Mr. Wright just turn into Mario? What is going on?

Trucy: I think Daddy is supposed to be really, really happy.

Apollo: TRUCY! (If Mr. Wright finds out you said that…)

Franziska: Only foolish fools would foolishly end their foolish sentences with a foolish ‘1’.

In a second we were making out in the lobby. Her tongue was done my thoart and I felt her boobs pressing into my chest I was just about to rip off her dress until…..

Apollo: I didn’t think this would be one of those fics.

Trucy: Don’t worry about it, Polly. There’s always rule 34: “There should be lots of sex scenes in your fic but all of them should be so badly written that they move beyond purple prose to the frightening realm of euphemisms and IKEA manuals. Your audience should be questioning whether or not you know what sex is. (Bonus points if you don’t mention consent or safety at all.)”

Apollo: (Well, that’s it. I’m fired.)

"Nickkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyy!" it was laury. He was also pale with dark umber hair cut swishly over his dark eyes. He was dressed like a punk.

Trucy: *gasp* They broke rule 3: “All friends of the protagionist are ‘goffick’. If not, the friend will see the error of their ways and convert immediately.”

We stopped. "Gooddamnit lorry! you ruined the mood"

Apollo: Is Mr. Wright supposed to be saying that or Miss Fey? Or Both?

"But it was reminding me of my lawtifah!" he moaned slashing his wrists. "You gotta find who cilled her!"

Apollo: Again with the wrist-cutting? And wasn’t the victim of Mr. Wright’s first trial Cindy Stone?

Trucy: Wow, Polly, you memorized her name? Even Daddy didn’t do that!

All but Trucy: ….

"I will dont worry"

"COURT IS STARTING" yelled the balif guy from the court room.

I swalloed it was time. we walked thru the doors…

To be continued!1

Franziska: What a foolish waste of time.

The lights go back up. Immediately, Franziska jumps up and leaves, whipping everything in her way.

Apollo: I guess that means it's over. We should be going.

Trucy: Already?

Hand in hand, the two leave.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I love badfic expert!Trucy, but Franziska used "fool" too much and came across more like a parody of herself than, well, herself. And I know I'm the last one who should criticize this, but your ending fell a bit flat. Next time, try having the sporkers talk a little bit about the fic or what they're going to do next. But other than that, good, good!

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Jul 19, 2015 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Actually, Airey, I think your endings are fine as they are. Sometimes, I feel I elaborate too much on mine, if only for the sake of some sort of "plot" to spice things up. It's probably a good idea that not many people imitate my style, or we'd be leaning a bit close to the fanfiction we're sporking. :oops:

That said, I agree. An ending should close up the sporking with some final thoughts, rather than simply let them escape as quickly as possible. Some of these guys have become so used to appearing here despite themselves that they're bound to take their roles as critics more seriously... if anything in here can be taken seriously, anyway. (I'm looking at those veterans... Phoenix, Edgeworth, Maya... Apollo and Trucy as well.)

Author:  TheGreatSnarkoo [ Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
I haven't heard from GreatSnarkoo in a while, so I dunno if they're still around.

Yeah, I'm still around, but it'll probably take me a while to finish up on that sporking of "Requital", so hopefully you'll be willing to wait a little bit longer.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Jul 20, 2015 12:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

@Rubia: If you say so. I think I'm referring more to the sporkings I do on Tumblr, where I don't use descriptive narration...?
Anyway, I like sporkings with plots.

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