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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 1:23 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
^ It takes practice. I've had my fair share of mistakes going in at first. Even now, I'm still adapting my sporking style to something completely different. It will take me a bit of time to reformat everything since it's a pretty long one, but I'll let you know when I'm done and ready! In the meantime, who's going to do the next chapter of that monster? |
Author: | luck [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 5:18 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I want to see your sporking, too! (And I don't really see any reason why you shouldn't post it, actually.) And cuteyounggirlplus, I think that regardless of the quality (most of the sporked fics are somewhat decent, anyways, and the really bad ones are almost always trollfics or the kind that makes you question the author's sanity) you should still point everything wrong and make fun of it (that's what makes it a sporking, after all.) |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 5:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@luck Thanks for the advice. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 6:25 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
'kay. Here it is. On second thought, a fic this nasty may be better suited off-campus than on. I didn't censor anything out since there were too many good opportunities that would otherwise go to waste. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 6:55 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
That was hilarious. Although, I didn't want the whole Turnabout Storm to be an "arc". Someone has to spork the "Law plus Chaos 2" fic luck put up. I've tried reading 4 different times and I can't get pass Chapter 2. Ugh. So contrived... |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 8:59 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Turnabout Storm: Part 2 One of the more frustrating things about this fic is that there are a lot of chapters where nothing really important happens. There's also a lot of exposition and background information. I underestimated how boring it would be to spork this. I think I might stop this and go back to shorter fics before I try something as big as this again. (I know, I've been doing a lot of that lately. I'm sorry. I tend to overestimate what I can handle.) Here are today's sporkers: (At last, we return to the sporking of Turnabout Storm. But today, only Edgeworth and Phoenix have shown up! What could Management be planning?) Edgeworth: As I said in the last part, something terrible. Phoenix: …Do you think maybe…? Edgeworth: What is it, Wright? Phoenix: Well, you know how we tend to get a lot of fics that ship us together? Edgeworth: Yes. How is that relevant? Phoenix: I was just wondering what if Management is trying to ship us together? Edgeworth: …Wright. Phoenix: Yes? Edgeworth: Don’t even joke about such things. Yeah, We aren’t trying to ship you. We’re just trying to offend you with the most horrible things we can find! Edgeworth: …Perhaps your theory has some merit after all, Wright. (The lights turn off.) Spoiler: (The lights turn on.) Phoenix: Did we spend a whole chapter just talking to her? Edgeworth: It appears so. I assume next chapter will be about you interfering with the witness. Phoenix: Yeah…Hey! (The light shut off before the two can start fighting.) Spoiler: (The light turns back on.) Phoenix: Is it me or is Management editing a lot out? Edgeworth: I think they are editing a lot out. Either it’s boring or so terrible that even Management doesn’t want to read it. Phoenix: Well either way we still have a lot more to go through. I think the trial will start next time. (The two are teleported out. ) |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Nice sporking. This one was a laugh, and I like how cool Phoenix is with Edgeworth and this show. Eventually, Nick's going to be drawn into this show himself, I can feel it. Also of note, nice editing. It keeps the fic on an appropriate pace without skipping over too much. I remember the first time I came upon that fic, and I was ready to quit after the first several lines of the prologue. "It's not a tribute or an expansion; it's a copy-pasta that's been overcooked." So disappointing. So, are you still going with the third one or leaving it for others to take? I've freed up my queue, so I'm not sure what to work on next. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:48 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I was mostly worried that the editing would be considered terrible. I think I'll try to continue, but I reserve the right to quit if it becomes too much to me. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:04 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Yeah, I also think that Phoenix is going to be a brony by the end of the sporking. Hey, I think Pearl and Maya (and maybe Trucy, too) would be into MP:FiM, so there's my suggestion for Edgeworth swap-out(s). I want to help out with this fic at some point, but I haven't watched MLP since the second season... orz. I have some ideas, though. Which chapter should I take? (Maybe I should post a non-Turnabout Storm sporking before that, though, to break it up.) |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:09 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Rubia I really loved your sporking. I agree that it probably was better off on tumblr than here, since if you censored it, it definitely wouldn't have been as funny. @cuteyounggirlplus you sure got that second part out fast! If you are going to continue it, there's no need to rush. The second part was rather funny, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) I |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:38 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Airey I think the original "Turnabout Storm" is meant to take place in between Season 1 and Season 2 so you'd be perfect. I don't have a specific chapter mind just yet, so continue one with what you're doing. And of course Pearl is a brony, where do you think she got the term "Special Someone"? |
Author: | Darth Wiader [ Fri Aug 07, 2015 7:59 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11187836/1 ... n-of-Payne = I think this is worth looking into. It may not be as bad as the fic with Rubina but... it's just strange. |
Author: | DrOcsid [ Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:55 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Heh, really enjoying reading the Turnabout Storm sporking. If I were to have one complaint though, it's that I feel like you were a bit too blunt with Edgeworth being a fan of the show. I feel like he wouldn't be that open about it if he were. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 5:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Turnabout Storm: Part 3 This part of the fanfic is where we first start seeing the signs of 'shipping-itis'. Shipping-itis happens when a fic with a non-romantic plot is infected with a shipping sub-plot and the plot starts to be taken over with badly-written romance. This case is especially bad because a) The particular paring of the fic has bestality undertones and b) the creator of the original video series specially stated there is no shipping in Turnabout Storm. Basically, this fic screws over the original creator's creation and intent by adding a shipping sub-plot no one need to see. Enjoy! (The doors to the lobby lock by themselves. Then, suddenly three figures appear—Phoenix, Pearl and Franziska.) Franziska: Quite the group we have here today… Phoenix Wright and an older Pearl? I wonder what’s in store? Pearl: Didn’t you get a script, too? Franziska: I didn’t want to read such foolishness. Pearl: My Little Pony isn’t foolishness! Phoenix: You know about My Little Pony, Pearls? Pearl: Uh-huh. It used to be on right before Kids’ Masterpiece Theater. Phoenix: (I guess that’s why Edgeworth isn’t here today…Lucky him.) (All three scramble to find their seats as the lights lower.) Spoiler: (The lights go up for a short break.) Pearl: Yes! Franziska: That was… Phoenix: …not completely foolish? Franziska: …strange. Pearl: Ms. Von Karma doesn’t want to give in, does she? (The lights lower, indicatating the next chapter is approaching.) Spoiler: (The lights flicker back on. However, the doors to the lobby are still shut tight.) Phoenix: Why are the doors locked? Shouldn’t we be going home now? Franziska: …Management must want to put us through an extended session. Phoenix: (You don’t look too happy about that.) (Without another word, the light lower down.) Spoiler: (The lights flicker back on as our three sporkers find that the doors have been unlocked.) Franziska: I don’t see why Management had to wrangle me in for this fic. It has nothing to do with me. Phoenix: Maybe Management wanted some fresh blood? Franziska: Hmph. Pearl: The fic is kind of interesting, though. I do want to know what really happened to Ace Wilde. But at the same time, the fic is kind of boring, too. It could do with less exposition. Phoenix: I’m just hoping next time I’ll be more in-character…and still single. (All three part ways and leave for the exit.) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 6:20 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Good, but you shouldn't do so many one-line comments. Let the sporkers play off of each other a little bit. I'll probably post a sporking (not Turnabout Storm!) in the next few days. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 6:33 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Airey. Yeah, I did tend to give a lot of one-liners. It's hard to write a lot of responses to this because it's so different from what we usually get around here. I'm not sure how the characters would react. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 7:21 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
cuteyounggirlplus wrote: @Airey. Yeah, I did tend to give a lot of one-liners. It's hard to write a lot of responses to this because it's so different from what we usually get around here. I'm not sure how the characters would react. That's the trouble with sporkings, I guess. Speaking of sporkings, I'm actually working on one right now so I'll have it saved as a draft by the time everyone reads this post, pretty much... since I'm not sure I should post it right this minute. I'll either post it this evening or tomorrow sometime. Or in the middle of the night, like I did a year ago. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 7:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
If you need any help with how characters would play off of each other, I'm your sporker. The thing I love most about writing sporkings is the interaction. :) As Airey said, the reactions, while on point, still leave a bit to be desired. Also, I feel that the editing this time wasn't as effective as last time. There were some parts that leave a bit too much of the fic intact without the sporkers reacting very much. Now that I have a bit more time to spare, I'll see what fic I can find to spork. I might not be posting it so soon, but I hope to expect it some time these two weeks. |
Author: | luck [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 8:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
You know, I've never watched My Little Pony, but I'm starting to wonder why everypony seems to be female and if that doesn't cause reproduction issues. Maybe that explains the interspecific attraction. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:07 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
There are male ponies too. One episode from the... 3rd season, was it? was actually about Pinkie Pie babysitting some fillies. There was a nursery and everything. And apparently, baby fillies are terrifyingly powerful. Nothing will ever explain interspecial attraction. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:26 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
WELP, IT'S EVENING. Today's sporking is the ominously-titled Ace Attorney - NaruMitsu - The Cat's Office. You can never expect too much from people who put their tags in their title. (Not that ff.net has a tag function.) (BTW, I've actually sporked this author's stuff twice before.) Rating: Mistakes were made. Regrets were had. Today's sporkers are! "Can't I get a break?" "Can't I get a break?" "Sporker Dream Team, go!" [We open up in our sporking theatre. Everything seems, at first glance, completely normal, although there is an oddly ominous atmosphere. Today's sporkers are seated uncomfortably in their already-uncomfortable seats.] Phoenix: Even the narrator's pointing out how foreboding this place is today... Maya: We must be in for a doozy. Only four Sawhits, though! Edgeworth: "Only" four Sawhits? Maya: Well, it's not a Dahlia. What's the worst that cou- mmph. Phoenix: Maya! Don't say things like that! You'll tempt the Management! Speakers: Indeed, you'll tempt us! Edgeworth: Mm. I was under the impression that the Management was taking a rather hands-off approach as of late. Speakers: Well, it's true that we're trying to get back to our mostly non-interfering roots, but we like to mix things up now and then, you know? The times change and sometimes you gotta change with them! Maya: So we get chatty Management today. Hmm. Edgeworth: Did you have something to tell us, or did you just want to bother us? Speakers: Oh, no, no, never. We just wanted to welcome you... [The lighting suddenly goes a theatrical red, the humidity in the theatre increases, and a discordant chord is struck.] Speakers: ...to VORELAND. Sporkers: ... Maya: Crap. Phoenix: What? ...what's vore? Edgeworth: You don't want to know, Wright. Believe me, you don't want to know... [The lights dim, although the theatre is still bathed in an eerie (and unnecessary) red.] Spoiler: [The lights come back on. They are their normal "florescent white" color again.] Maya: Well, that was an experience! Phoenix: Not a very good one, though. Kay: Just think of it as furthering your internet education, Mr. Wright. Edgeworth: Does that really matter all that much? No matter what the Management says, I don't think there are any more vorefics out there. Speakers: Now you're just baiting us. Well, you'll only have yourself to blame, Miles Edgeworth. Edgeworth: You're bluffing. Phoenix: I don't think so, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: Where else are they going to find this sort of thing? The kink meme? They would have mentioned it during the Kink Meme Special if they had. Speakers: Maybe we just wanted it to be a surprise. Edgeworth: I doubt it. You love to tease us. Kay: Mr. Edgeworth? Edgeworth: Yes, Kay? Kay: *puts one hand on Edgeworth's shoulder and looks at him very solemnly* I'll sneak in for your punishment sporking. Edgeworth: ... Maya: You can get a punishment sporking for sassing the Management? Phoenix: Yes. Kay: Anyway, my work here is done. Yatagarasu awaaaay! *smoke-bombs out* Speakers: She has the right idea. Why don't you three go home now? Edgeworth: Gladly. Phoenix: I don't trust this... [And so another sporking session draws to a close. Will we return to Voreland in the near (or far) future? Was Miles Edgeworth right about the Management bluffing? Is the Management even serious often enough to bluff in the first place? Stay tuned, readers!] |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 2:17 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Wonderful job, Airey. I always knew we were somewhat reptilian in nature. Still, thanks to all the mentions of "pests" and the humidity, I couldn't help but recall last night's traumatizing experience... I was unable to swat the annoying mosquito in my room. I swear I heard it buzzing by my ear, but it was so dark. I couldn't see it, and I was too tired to turn on the lights. It was a battle of perseverance against summer heat and potential mosquito attacks. So if I see a single mosquito in this theater, I am frying it with our newly imported infrared laser. (Never ask where these things come from, guys.) It is designed specifically to destroy mosquitoes, but it may also irritate skin if exposed for a while. I think it may see some use in the near future... |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 2:20 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Oh my gosh, I know that struggle so well. That poor laser's gonna get abused. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 4:06 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Ah, screw it. My search for DGS-inspired fanfics has failed me. The game is too recent, I guess, and if there's going to be a fanfic of it, it'll be in Japanese. I'd rather not have to translate the piece. So, I might as well take on that last one luck recommended: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4463915 It's bad enough to catch my attention and bad enough for me to destroy it. I've only skimmed through the first few chapters, and I think I'll need some time to reorganize my confusion. Not to mention, it may be long, but its chapters are short for the most part, so it'll make it each section more manageable. I can't say for sure if I'm finishing it to the end, but I'll see how far I can get with it. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Turnabout Storm Part 4 One of the things I've realized while writing this spork is that the lightning bolts in Turnabout Storm don't make much sense. We also get some witness testimony this spork, so heads up for that. Our sporkers: (Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth and Maya Fey are teleported into the sporking theater in order to continue sporking “Turnabout Storm”.) Edgeworth: Well, the break from this fic was nice while it lasted. Phoenix: At least you got a break. I’ve been stuck here since the beginning. Maya: Cheer up! At least it isn’t vore! Phoenix and Edgeworth: … Phoenix: …Don’t ever mention that again, Maya. Maya: C’mon guys, I’ve been preparing for when I got back to this fic! Phoenix: Really? How? Maya: I binge watched all the episodes and I spent all lot to time reading through those old brony forums all while eating one dollar burgers. No shame! Edgeworth: Well, you’re better prepared then most. (With that, the lights shut off.) Spoiler: (The lights flicker back on.) Maya: We finally get to see some witness testimony! Only took how many chapters? Edgeworth: Eight. Phoenix: This author likes taking their sweet time, huh? Maya: I know. Bet there an old stick in the mud like you, Nick. Phoenix: I-I’m not an “old stick in the mud”! (Before anyone else can say anything, the lights dim.) Spoiler: (The lights flicker back on. In the back of the theater, a creaking sound can be heard as the doors open.) Maya: Man, Talk about a disappointing way to end a chapter. I just hope the next one will be better. Phoenix: Considering Trixie will still be prosecuting, I doubt it. Edgeworth: At least we don’t have to deal with a child as a witness next time. Phoenix: Do you know who the next witness is, Edgeworth? Edgeworth: Wright, surely you remember the last couple chapters. Fluttershy said she would be a witness in court. Phoenix: ...Oh. (With that the three leave the sporking theater and its tension filled atmosphere.) |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
My only regret is that I was unable to write a literary version of the training montage for Maya. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:22 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Is the victim's name Ace Swift or Ace Wilde? |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Ace Swift. I confused him with a Sims character. (Eternal Shame.) I think I changed it now. Please tell me if I didn't. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
cuteyounggirlplus wrote: My only regret is that I was unable to write a literary version of the training montage for Maya. (´・ω・`) Truly, what a shame. I was so looking forward to it. That said, I'm looking forward to the next part. You're doing pretty well keeping up, I'm impressed. |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 12:20 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Now that Trixie is mentioned, I'm suddenly reminded that Thane did a sporking of another MLP x Ace Attorney crossover fic, although it was much worse than Turnabout Storm. I do think Turnabout Storm is boring though, I keep tuning the fic itself out and if it wasn't for the sporking it'll be unbearable. Anyway I'm happy that you're keeping up with this Turnabout Storm spork and you're doing a pretty good job, but I do think you need to be a little bit more careful about where you cut things? Like for instance, you cut out the dialogue about the tip and then started the next part with "'I told you, it's WRIGHT!'" Since we don't know what Trixie called him, I think it would've been better to leave that part out as well and instead start the quote with "'I do have questions regarding that cloud though...'" Anyway, yeah, that's about all I have to say. |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 11:43 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Skittlemask I'm of the same opinion about Turnabout Storm, too. It's boring to spork and even more boring to read. Plus, there's whole chucks of it where there isn't much to say other than "Blah…" On a more happy note, How's that Apollo/Stepladder fic going? |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 2:07 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@cuteyounggirlplus, does this answer your question? xD Title- Step on My Ladder Rating- This fic isn't bad, per se. The spelling, grammar, and descriptions are actually pretty good. It's just that whoever wrote this must've been drunk or high when they came up with the idea. So yeah, OOCness and creepy behavior. Now, here comes our sporkers! Phoenix Wright! "I have a feeling there's going to be some arguments this time…" Apollo Justice! "I've been here a lot lately… I hope I'm not the management's new favorite." Klavier Gavin! "You can never replace Herr Edgeworth in their hearts, Herr Forehead." and Trucy Wright! "Two Sahwits? Hey, maybe this'll be kinda OK!" [We begin in our sporking theatre where all our sporkers are already seated. Trucy is trying to cheer up Apollo and Phoenix.] Trucy: Aw, b-but narrator! You ruined it! If you tell Daddy and Polly what I'm trying to do, then it won't work! [I am so sorry. I'll try to think before I narrate next time, p-please don't yell at me…] Klavier: I believe you hurt the narrator's feelings, Fräulein Trucy. Trucy: Oh no! I didn't mean to do that… I'm so sorry, narrator! [It's OK! I was joking anyway.] Trucy: Really? Hey Polly, did you know that the narrator has a sense of humor? Apollo: No, not really. Trucy: Narrator, tell Polly a joke! [M-Me? Well, I do know one good jo-] Speakers: The management would like to remind Trucy Wright not to provoke the narrator. Oh, and narrator? You know your job. Stick to it. [Y-Yes sir…] Phoenix: …Is it just me, or is the narrator starting to sound more and more like Detective Gumshoe? Speakers: Enough about the narrator! You know what? We're just going to start the fic now. Quote: Step on My Ladder By: Chikita Trucy: Ooh, are we going to get bananas? Apollo: Bananas? Trucy: As in Chiquita Bananas! Apollo: Oh, right… Trucy: Hey Daddy, can you get the management to give us bananas? Phoenix: As far as I know, they only accept bribes from Kay. Speakers: … Phoenix: (Wait, no witty reply? I expected them to say something…) Trucy: How about you, Prosecutor Gavin? You're charming enough! Klavier: Heh, you flatter me too much, Fräulein. But sadly, no I cannot. Trucy: Aww... Quote: Maybe it was the late nights. Maybe it was the stress. Or maybe it had something to do with the half empty bottle of cheap corner store scotch that sat open on the desk next to a glass that had just a single sip left in it. Or maybe it was a combination of the three. Apollo: Knowing how things go around here, definitely all three. Klavier: So, who is this about? Apollo: Since it says "cheap corner store scotch," I'm going to assume it's Mr. Wright. Phoenix *frustrated* Why does everyone think I'm such a cheapskate? Klavier: Actually, Herr Wright drinks grape juice, ja? Phoenix: Thank you! Quote: He knew it had to be one of those things, nothing else could explain his current state of affairs. At the moment, he was currently in the dimly lit office wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and his shirt, which was undone. The rest of his clothing had been unceremoniously discarded on the floor. His left hand flung the last item away; it was a tie. Phoenix: An office. Since we all have offices, it could be any one of us. Trucy: Except me of course! Klavier: Nein. Apollo: N-No? Klavier: It can't be me. I do not wear ties. Apollo: Well, aren't you lucky? Quote: Turning back to the desk, he paused and picked up the glass of scotch and slugged it. He threw his head back as he finished off that last portion. The liquid slid down his throat, burning. He shuddered in delight as the liquid went down. Apollo: Do we really need four sentences to describe someone drinking scotch? Phoenix: You forgot the number one rule when people write these things. Apollo: Which is? Trucy: Ooh Daddy, can I? Phoenix: Of course. Trucy: Redundancy! Quote: With just the lingering tastes in his mouth, he slammed the glass down on the desk and turned his head immediately to the side and smirked leeringly. Trucy: How does someone smirk "leeringly?" Apollo: I don't know, but I'm a little nervous as to where this is going… Quote: He winked at the sensually arousing object of his affections. Apollo: Oh no… Klavier: I think you should be more concerned at the fact that it's an object, ja? It's doesn't say another person. Phoenix: I'm just going to be quiet and hope it's not what I think it is. Quote: Beauty was truly in the eye of the beholder. He found her more alluring than any sexy temptress to bat her long, pretty eyelashes at him. She was truly the most beautiful ever. He strutted in her direction, slowly stripping the white shirt he wore. He slid it off his shoulders with sensual shrugs as he kept his gaze on her. He let the shirt glide off his arms, pooling around his feet on the floor. His left foot moved forward, kicking the offending garment to one side. Apollo: I thought the tie was the last item thrown away. Where did the shirt come from? Klavier: Have you been paying attention at all, Herr Forehead? Speakers: If that's the case, then the management would like to remind Apollo Justice that he is to pay attention to the sporking at all times. Thank you for pointing that out, Klavier. Apollo: What did I do? Phoenix: It said earlier that he was wearing a shirt and boxers, and then threw the tie away. Apollo: Well, then that's the author's fault for saying that the tie was the last item! Trucy: It's OK Polly, I knew what you meant the entire time! Apollo: And you didn't say anything? Quote: He extended out his arms. "Come to my pretty... oh darling, I long to hold you in my arms. To caress your sensual lines..." he purred as he reached out drawing the step ladder in the office in close into a longing embrace. He lowered a hand on the step ladder and caressed up and down. All: … Phoenix: I knew it! I knew it! Why did I have to be right? Why? Trucy: Well Daddy, now you know how Mr. Edgeworth feels! Klavier: I am glad this isn't me, but I feel bad for Herr Wright and Herr Forehead. Apollo: I really really hope this doesn't get more explicit than this… Quote: He leaned in, placing his face against the cold leg of the step ladder and whispered lustfully. "Why don't we get more comfortable, my dear ladder?" Trucy: …It's Polly. Apollo: W-What? How do you know that? Trucy: Because he called what is clearly a step ladder a ladder. Apollo: …So? Trucy: So Daddy and I are team step ladder! Apollo: … Phoenix: Heh, well, better you than me. Apollo: *glare* Quote: Thrusting his erection against the left side, he moved his hips up and down, creating friction. He repeatedly thrust his hips greedily into the step ladder, rubbing his erection on the rigid side. Apollo: AUGH! Klavier: Achtung! This isn’t something I want to see! Phoenix: *covers Trucy's eyes* I really hope some things are going to get cut out soon… Trucy: D-Daddy, what's going on? Klavier: N-Nothing you want to see, Fräulein. Apollo: Why does this stuff always happen to me? Quote: He threw his head back, his antennae falling back. He moved his hips faster; increased the movement; giving himself completely over to the step ladder. Apollo: Why do people expect me to always act like this when drunk? No, why do people even think I get drunk? I hardly ever drink! Klavier: Maybe fanfic authors don't like you? Apollo: What did I ever do to them!? Quote: Each thrust brought out a deep lustful moan. It became rhythmic. Thrust; moan. Feed the insatiable sexual drive; frustration. Phoenix: I need more hands! Apollo, cover Trucy's ears! Speakers: We didn't say anything earlier… but Trucy Wright is to participate in the sporking at all times. Apollo, don't even think of covering her ears. And Phoenix? Stop covering her eyes. Phoenix: No! Not until you start cutting things out! Speakers: C'mon, this isn't even that bad. You know better than to test us… Besides, this part is almost over. Phoenix: So this is the most explicit it gets? Speakers: … Phoenix: *slowly lowers his hands* Speakers: Good boy. Quote: Inebriated and sexually needy, he rubbed his erection against the ladder and moaned loudly, greedily groping the step ladder; he could feel the climax rapidly approaching. Phoenix: *starts raising his hands* Speakers: Hands down. Phoenix: *reluctantly obeys* Apollo: I don't want to see myself do this anymore… Klavier: You mean fic-you, right? Apollo: He still looks just like me! It's disturbing. Quote: "Oh ladder... dear... ladder..." He shuddered a lustful groan. "Yes... that's good... oh yes... ladder... oh ladder!" Apollo: Oh no, he's about to- Quote: A girlish giggle broke the reverie. "Don't you mean step ladder?" a voice asked. The tone was curt yet playful. All: *stares at screen* Apollo: *joyfully* YES! Thank you Trucy for ruining the moment! Trucy: U-Um, it wasn't a problem, Polly. Phoenix: Why are you so happy? Do you really want a young girl like her to walk in on that? Apollo: Of course not, but that means this part is over! Klavier: Or… Apollo: O-Or? Klavier: Or something worse could happen. Quote: "Huh?" Trucy closed the door behind her and walked over to Apollo. The grin on her face invoked a range of emotion within him. He wasn't sure how he should feel at this moment. Confusion; why she was here? Then realisation; he was wearing almost nothing. And then, finally, embarrassment; not only was he wearing next to nothing, he was drunk and clumsily trying to dry hump the step ladder. Apollo: Good. At least something in this fic is right. Fic-me deserves to be embarrassed. Quote: She placed her hand on the step ladder. "Even if you're going to hump the step ladder, at least have the decency to call it by its proper name." All: … Apollo: …I-I don't know which is worse. That fic-me is humping the ladder, and the author thinks I would do that, or that Trucy is 200% okay with it. Trucy: That's step ladder, Apollo! Klavier: Ja, if anything this fic should at least teach you which is which. Apollo: That's not the issue here! Quote: Apollo went to offer up a witty retort but found himself coming up dry. He had nothing he could say. He sheepishly put the step ladder to one side, and slunk away. He didn't want to get into a discussion about this now... Trucy studied the step ladder, her hand still rested on it and remarked offhandedly, "when Klavier fucks you into the wall in the men's room at the courtroom, you don't call out Kristoph's name, do you? Sure they look the same..." Klavier: So this is why I am here. I've been wondering for a while now… Phoenix: Trucy wouldn't swear like that! Why do authors always do that? Trucy: Yeah! Am I really that hard to understand? Klavier: And I wouldn't do that to Herr Forehead! Least of all in a public restroom! What if Herr Judge walked in? Apollo: And Mr. Gavin and Prosecutor Gavin aren't twins, they don't look exactly the same! One has glasses, is taller, and has a longer face. Klavier: …It's been awhile since there was a fic that paired Herr Forehead and myself. Remember the first fic that did that? Apollo: …A Handful of Justice. Thank you so much for reminding me, I almost forgot about that. Trucy: I remember that! Didn't Prosecutor Gavin get a nosebleed at the end? Phoenix: …What happened in that fic? Apollo: N-Not what you're thinking, Mr. Wright! Quote: "TRUCY!" Apollo was just appalled at the suggestion. "I would never do that!" Apollo: Not that I wouldn't call him Kristoph, but I wouldn't do that with him. Period. Quote: "Then don't call the step ladder a ladder. It has feelings. It may look similar but there are fundamental differences..." If he wasn't already red in the face from the large quantities of scotch he had consume, he was red now. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. He wanted to crawl under the desk. It was the next best thing to a rock. Apollo: Yes, please go under the desk. I'm sick of looking at you. Trucy: Aw, don't be like that Polly! Quote: "...for example, the step ladder opens versus the fact that the ladder can't spread it. You know, like you do when Klavier has you on your back." She rested the step ladder against the wall. Apollo: How would fic-Trucy know that? Did fic-me tell her? Klavier: Hopefully fic-me wouldn't… Although, I don't have much respect of any of these fictional versions of ourselves. Phoenix: I'm just glad I'm not in this fic. Klavier: Not yet anyway, ja? Quote: Apollo had taken a moment to crawl under the desk while she was distracted. Apollo: Yes, good! Finally fic-me is doing something reasonable! Quote: She glanced under the desk and blinked at him sweetly. "You know it's true. It's a step ladder. Sometimes the small differences do matter." Apollo groaned and buried his face in his hands. He was drunk, but at this rate, he planned on being blind drunk. He needed to erase this moment from his memory. He didn't want to remember this moment tomorrow. Apollo: I wish I could forget this entire experience. Klavier: As do I. Phoenix: I agree. Trucy: Me too! Quote: He sighed. "Trucy... you killed the moment." He kept his face buried in his hands. Apollo: Yes, the only reasonable thing she's done in the whole fic! Klavier: Good thing she did. Things could've gotten a lot worse if she hadn't… Quote: She picked up the bottle off the desk and waved it in front of him and giggled. "For someone who doesn't drink..." "..some time we need to..." He peered through his fingers and met her expression. He then mumbled. "And... what if I was desperate? At least the ladder—" "STEP ladder." Through clenched teeth his seethed, "at least the STEP ladder doesn't nag me about what I call it." Apollo: Who am I referring to here? Klavier: It sounds like you're talking about Fräulein Trucy. Apollo: Oh no, not another one of those fics. Phoenix: "Some time we need to…" A-Are you trying to get Trucy to drink!? Apollo: That's fic-me, Mr. Wright! Quote: She folded her arms and snidely replied. "I'm sure if it spoke, it would tell you that you're wrong. It's a step ladder and it would like you to respect its feelings." "Ladders do not—" "Step!" He sighed and wondered he did to deserve this. Apollo: I'm wondering the same exact thing. Phoenix: Hey look, the last sentence is missing the word "what." Quote: He stood up and snatched the bottle from her. "You shouldn't be... drinking. You're under age." Phoenix: Finally fic-Apollo is doing something reasonable! Apollo: You mean besides hiding under the desk? Quote: "At least I know the difference between a ladder and a step ladder." Her tone was smug. Glancing at his empty glass, Apollo did the only thing he could think of; he poured himself a glass. Paused. Then pointed to the door. "You can take your step ladder obsession and leave..." Klavier: You're the one with the step ladder obsession if you're trying to hump it. Ja, Herr Forhead? Apollo: Shut up! Quote: "Or?" Apollo blinked stupidly. Was she serious? Did she just ask him for an alternative to his command? "Or what?" He hadn't been prepared for that. "Yeah. If I don't leave?" He shrugged and took a sip from the glass. "I don't know..." She picked up his shirt and held it out to him. "You should at least put your clothes on." Apollo: Fic-Trucy is doing another reasonable thing? Wow, I'm surprised. Klavier: I think the fic is trying to redeem itself. Phoenix: There's no way it can redeem this. Quote: "No!" Apollo snatched the heap and threw the bundle into a nearby corner. He then sat in the office chair, holding the glass. "I intend to sit here wearing nothing but my undies." He raised the glass. "I declare this to be the night of a thousand undies!" Trucy glanced down at her clothing and shrugged. 'When in Rome, do as the Romans!' Off went the clothes. She then picked up an extra cup in the office and taking out juice from one of the drawers in the desk, poured herself a cup. She held it up and declared, "Yay! Panties party!" All: … Phoenix: No one. Say. Anything. Got it? Apollo, Klavier: *nods* Trucy: Yeah, but I have to wonder if fic-me has a br- Phoenix: Trucy. Trucy: ...Sorry, Daddy. [The lights flicker back on] Klavier: It appears that the fic is over. Apollo: Finally. I can't wait to go home and forget all of this. Klavier: By drinking, ja? Apollo: No! I almost never drink! Klavier: Relax Herr Forehead. It was a joke. Apollo: Ugh. Trucy: Hey Polly, to cheer you up, I'll take you to Eldoon's Noodles! Daddy will pay! Phoenix: Hey, I never agreed to this! Trucy: Pleeease? Phoenix: *sighs* OK, OK. [And so another sporking session comes to a close. Who knows what will happen next time? Heh, the management probably does… But anyway! We all hope to see you next time!] |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:28 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I have some links to fics that I believe can be sporked: I'm not sure if this fic has been sporked on the old forums or not but it deserves to be sporked. The author even refers to it as a troll fic on his profile page so there's no doubt left of it's sporkability: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965975/1 ... l-ternabut This fic is 41 words long, consisting of one run-on sentence. There are at least 15 misspelled words. (That's over a third of the words.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10173654/1 ... s-edgwarth A crackfic about Apollo Justice and Robin Newman facing off in court. Has a cliche twist ending: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10193370/1 ... -Turnabout Kristoph Gavin is a school teacher to the cast of Apollo Justice. That is all. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4225694/1/ ... de-Justice I can't describe this fic better then the description does so here it is: Quote: After losing a bet to Klavier, Apollo finds himself forced to wear a dress. Here comes Artemis Justice! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10074053/1 ... Girlfriend A collection of shipping one-shots. This one chapter in particular is glorious in how cracky the ship is. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10270254/40/Guilty-Love |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Good job, that fic was nutso. I do wonder if you should have cut some out, per forum rules? Then again, I can't really talk after uh... every over thing that I've sporked. cuteyounggirlplus, I'm willing to take the next part of Turnabout Storm available (so, if you're already working on the next part, I'll take the one after that). Which chapters would I be doing? |
Author: | cuteyounggirlplus [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:35 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@Airey The next chapters (after the sparking I'm working on) are titled "Part 11" and "Part 12". |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: I do wonder if you should have cut some out, per forum rules? Then again, I can't really talk after uh... every over thing that I've sporked. Yeah, when I was writing I was thinking of whether I should cut anything out of not, but then I figured that if I did it would waste some good opportunities. If Trucy didn't walk in and disrupt the moment, then I definetly would've had to at that point. Perhaps I should've posted it somewhere else... |
Author: | luck [ Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:20 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Since the fic isn't really all that descriptive , I think the cut summary would have probably been something too similar to it anyway. Truly horribly-written fics might be difficult to find in this fandom, but for weird perversions, we have an unlimited supply. |
Author: | Oliver [ Wed Aug 12, 2015 5:37 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I might try a spork. Any G/PG/M (Only a little bit of sexual stuff) Fanfics you guys know of? I might try this one https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11338432/1/Phoenix-Wright-Turnabout-Gender |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:11 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Go right ahead. I don't believe anyone has taken that one yet. It seems to be pretty new too. |
Author: | Oliver [ Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:11 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Go right ahead. I don't believe anyone has taken that one yet. It seems to be pretty new too. I'll get started right now. :D |
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