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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
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Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Wed Aug 12, 2015 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

You know, when you include a colon after a character's name, there's no space. Also only one dash is needed at a time. I think I already pointed this out and even fixed it for you, too...

So this means that Turnabout Gender is up for grabs.

Author:  Oliver [ Wed Aug 12, 2015 10:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
You know, when you include a colon after a character's name, there's no space. Also only one dash is needed at a time. I think I already pointed this out and even fixed it for you, too...

So this means that Turnabout Gender is up for grabs.

You pointed it out...? Woops. :bellboy:

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

If I may be blunt, the last two sporkings done for the Children's Theater have not been very impressive to me. It's not that it wasn't funny enough. I just found it too cringe-worthy as I read through it. I won't bother with the typographical errors, but seeing everyone OOC like that is... somewhat insulting in my eyes.

It's perfectly fine that we have fun and mess around in this theater, but if we end up with a sporking that feels too close to the fanfiction we spork, it may be an issue. I don't have a problem with the Children's Theater itself, but unless it's meant to be a parody, the "hyper speed" version of this theater is not necessary.

That said, supposing it is our main theater high on sugar, I agree that it's worth keeping, but not worth being used too often. There's only so much cray-cray I can handle at one time.

Granted, I am exhausted at the moment after chasing down where I lost a book along my commute to school. In the end, this trip today was wasted, as I didn't get to return this rental...

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Point taken.

Author:  Oliver [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
If I may be blunt, the last two sporkings done for the Children's Theater have not been very impressive to me. It's not that it wasn't funny enough. I just found it too cringe-worthy as I read through it. I won't bother with the typographical errors, but seeing everyone OOC like that is... somewhat insulting in my eyes.

It's perfectly fine that we have fun and mess around in this theater, but if we end up with a sporking that feels too close to the fanfiction we spork, it may be an issue. I don't have a problem with the Children's Theater itself, but unless it's meant to be a parody, the "hyper speed" version of this theater is not necessary.

That said, supposing it is our main theater high on sugar, I agree that it's worth keeping, but not worth being used too often. There's only so much cray-cray I can handle at one time.

Granted, I am exhausted at the moment after chasing down where I lost a book along my commute to school. In the end, this trip today was wasted, as I didn't get to return this rental...

Well, it's probably just because everything I touch fails... :sparkly-maggey:

Author:  Crescent Moon [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
If I may be blunt, the last two sporkings done for the Children's Theater have not been very impressive to me. It's not that it wasn't funny enough. I just found it too cringe-worthy as I read through it. I won't bother with the typographical errors, but seeing everyone OOC like that is... somewhat insulting in my eyes.

It's perfectly fine that we have fun and mess around in this theater, but if we end up with a sporking that feels too close to the fanfiction we spork, it may be an issue. I don't have a problem with the Children's Theater itself, but unless it's meant to be a parody, the "hyper speed" version of this theater is not necessary.


:holdit: now wait a second. I might not have any credit in this thread, but that's still a bit rough, Rubia. You have to think about who made this spork and the Children's Theater. They are an inexperienced child (sorry ob9410, I mean that in the least offensive way possible). Yeah, it's a bit rough around the edges, but you can't expect a good performance without having any experience.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
If I may be blunt, the last two sporkings done for the Children's Theater have not been very impressive to me. It's not that it wasn't funny enough. I just found it too cringe-worthy as I read through it. I won't bother with the typographical errors, but seeing everyone OOC like that is... somewhat insulting in my eyes.

It's perfectly fine that we have fun and mess around in this theater, but if we end up with a sporking that feels too close to the fanfiction we spork, it may be an issue. I don't have a problem with the Children's Theater itself, but unless it's meant to be a parody, the "hyper speed" version of this theater is not necessary.


:holdit: now wait a second. I might not have any credit in this thread, but that's still a bit rough, Rubia. You have to think about who made this spork and the Children's Theater. They are an inexperienced child (sorry ob9410, I mean that in the least offensive way possible). Yeah, it's a bit rough around the edges, but you can't expect a good performance without having any experience.

We'd be able to expect a better performance from him if he'd taken to more of my editing... :nick:

Edit: Not trying to be mean, just saying. Umm... hey, cuteyounggirlplus, how's Turnabout Storm coming?

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 2:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
:holdit: now wait a second. I might not have any credit in this thread, but that's still a bit rough, Rubia. You have to think about who made this spork and the Children's Theater. They are an inexperienced child (sorry ob9410, I mean that in the least offensive way possible). Yeah, it's a bit rough around the edges, but you can't expect a good performance without having any experience.

It's not about being an inexperienced child. I'm sure ob9410 is a very bright young person who was merely testing the waters here, and it's clear enough from his attempts that he put plenty of effort into them. It's commendable, honestly. But my point is that we want to avoid encouraging something that could potentially go wrong if not checked. Airey had already posted a few times with suggestions on how to improve, but he seems to have overlooked some of them.

I'm still looking forward to what he has in store next time. I just prefer if he at least first checked with an editor before publishing his works. That's all.

Author:  Oliver [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 4:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Well, I'll quit writing sporks then. It's not like it's a big deal, just another thing to add to the things I suck at. :will:

Also, Airey, I did read the suggestions, and did most of them, but I stayed up for 12 hours writing it, I was a bit too tired to read all of the suggestions.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 4:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

You don't need to quit, in fact just the opposite. You need to practice. And listen to your editor(s).
And if you're too tired to listen to your editor? Save the sporking and come back to it tomorrow. As I said before, you don't need to write it all at once.

Author:  Oliver [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 4:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
You don't need to quit, in fact just the opposite. You need to practice. And listen to your editor(s).
And if you're too tired to listen to your editor? Save the sporking and come back to it tomorrow. As I said before, you don't need to write it all at once.

Fine, I'll keep sporking. :redd:
Are PLvsAA characters allowed? The ones from Labyrinthia, not actual Layton characters.

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 5:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Go for it. The rule regarding crossover characters usually applies to crossover fics, but PLvsAA is still an AA game. As long as we aren't getting Layton Bros or characters exclusively from the Layton games for a non-crossover fic, it's fine.

Let us know if you need an editor on the job!

Author:  Oliver [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 5:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Go for it. The rule regarding crossover characters usually applies to crossover fics, but PLvsAA is still an AA game. As long as we aren't getting Layton Bros or characters exclusively from the Layton games for a non-crossover fic, it's fine.

Let us know if you need an editor on the job!

Sure, I'm working on the first two chapters of Ms. Maya, hopefully I'll do the whole lot of them. I was thinking of adding Ms. Primstone. (That teacher who was against...everything)
Finished the first one, does someone want to look at it? I didn't get a chance to add Ms. Primstone this time as I wasn't sure, but part two will definitely include her.

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 6:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Sure. Send me a PM and I'll take a look.

Author:  Oliver [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 6:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Boom, shot it out of my letter gun. If anyone else wants to look at it, just ask.

Author:  Oliver [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Ms. Maya is a decent fic, it is meant to be funny, and does that quite well. Most chapters are short and sweet, and it stays quite in character (A bit of flanderization here and there, but this is a fic about MAYA becoming a teacher, somehow) so I give it :sahwit: :sahwit:
(Welcome to the Sporking Theater, where we welcome education above all else! Seriously, who keeps writing this crap?)
Our Sporkers today are...
:maya: Maya Fey
I hear this fics not that bad, and even has the Mighty Mystic Maya as a main character!
:butzthumbs: Larry Butz
Don't believe what Nick tells you! I don't stink!
:phoenix: and Phoenix Wright
Huh, I'll be honest, from the script, this is neither a long, or especially bad fic....it better stay this way throughout the fic...

Phoenix is sitting in a chair he recently marked as his own, (don't ask) suddenly Larry barges into the room looking almost...excited. Shortly after Maya walks in, and takes her seat, popcorn in mouth and both hands.

Larry: I heard I had a pretty important role in this fic, I can't wait!

Maya: Well it's not the main character, that's me.

Phoenix: *to Larry* Well, if you will eventually be in here, I'm not seeing it.

Larry: Don't be such a mood killer, Nick! There's always time for me!

[the lights dim]

Quote:
"Okay, class, from now onwards, I'm your new teacher! I'm Maya Fey, but you can just call me Maya!"

"Yes, Ms. Maya!" the class of first graders chorused.


Phoenix: Ah, kids. Getting your name mixed up with your other name...

Maya: Or, they could just be saying that so they don't sound so stiff like you!

Phoenix: Who are you calling "stiff"?

Larry: Forget ol' stiff-lips here! Where do I come in this?

Phoenix: ...Just keep waiting, Larry.

Quote:
"Hey, didn't I tell you to just call me Maya? Oh well, never mind. We're wasting time talking about my name. First, I'd like to get to know all of you, so please introduce yourselves."

A little boy stood up, "I'm-"


Phoenix: I find it hard to believe this is Maya, a legend for wasting time.

Maya: The more important thing is what happened to that kid? He's suddenly cut off mid sentence!

Phoenix: Well, Maya it can easily be explained by th-

Quote:
"No! Not like that! Standing up and saying your names like that is boring! Do it this way, hold this hamburger," she handed him a hamburger, "eat it as fast as you can and try to beat me!"


All: ...

Maya: Wow, fic-me is a genius! Good job, Ayam!

Larry: Huh? Ayam? Who's that?

Maya: Alternate me of course! And Nicks is Xin Eohp and yours would be ...Yrral.

Larry: Yrral? ...Sounds cool!

Phoenix: (Thinking about it, the opposite of Larry might actually be cool... and probably a jerk.)
I'd rather ask how Maya came to this school carrying all these burgers and without any of the school staff objecting.

Maya: Come on! Who can object to burgers, Nick?

Quote:
"Ms. Maya, I don't see how this is related to introductions," a little girl said.

"It does!"


Phoenix: It does...what exactly?

Larry: I bet it's a love machine! Maya's looking for a sexy hunk like me, right?

Maya: Larry, don't suggest potential pairings. I beg you.

Quote:
"How?" another little boy asked.


Larry: Man, it's like kids don't listen today! I just explained it, stupid head!

Phoenix and Maya: (Thank God he doesn't have kids)

Quote:
"Well, when you eat this hamburger, you put it inside your mouth right?" the children nodded and Maya continued, "Well, the hamburger reads your name from your mouth, and then it tells me your name before it gets swallowed."


Phoenix: ...Completely logical.

Larry: But...how can hamburgers speak?

Maya: Ah, Larry, the wonders of the hamburger can't be understood by a lesser being such as yourself.

Larry: Awwww...

Phoenix: (He's not really believing this, is he?)

Quote:
"But, Ms. Maya, our Science teacher, Mr. Holmes (1), told us that hamburgers are not living creatures!" the little boy that was holding the hamburger said.


Phoenix: "Mr. Holmes" the science teacher?

Maya: That sounds so awesome. He'd be the best teacher ever!

Phoenix: Maybe... but I'd think even basic logic could tell the kids that hamburgers aren't alive.

Maya: Doesn't mean they don't say anything.

Phoenix: ... (How long is she going to keep this up?)

Quote:
"But hamburgers are not dead! They're not even living creatures!" a little girl said.

"Well, as you can see, this hamburger has ham in it, right? This ham was once alive, therefore hamburgers are actually dead!" Maya concluded.

A chorus of 'ooooooh's followed after Maya's explanation.

"Wow, Ms. Maya, you're so smart! You're smarter than Mr. Holmes!" the children commented.


Phoenix: Wow...Try it right now, Maya! Try channeling a burger!

Maya: No! That'd make me a cannibal!

Larry: I still haven't appeared. :larry:

Quote:
"Why, thank you, now, on with the introductions."


Phoenix: Only you could move on from that so quickly, Maya.

Maya: Is that an insult or a compliment?

Phoenix: You will never know.

Quote:
Maya and a little boy had an eating competition and soon, Maya won.

"Okay, you're name is…Tom!" she said, reading his name tag.


Maya: No Ayam! Don't disclose the secrets of spirit channeling! Erm, I think it was supposed to say she read his mind through the burgers...experiences? Y-Yeah! That!

Quote:
"Yes! How'd you know?!" Tom answered.


Larry: Even I can answer this one, she used that love machine burger thing!

Phoenix and Maya: Close enough...

Quote:
"Hehehe…I've got ESP, didn't I tell you that? Besides, the hamburger told me."


Larry: Wait...Maya, whatever you do...DON'T TAKE A LOOK AT MY MIND! You'll be in for worse than some of these fics!

Maya: Really? I mean, it'd be creepy I bet, but more than some of these fics? *laughs* (Oh no...not that...please not that! "He held the pliers in front of my face and I wasn’t even afraid.") *freezes*

Phoenix: Maya? Are you okay? ...

Quote:
All of them gazed at her in admiration. She was just too cool! Then, they began asking her their names one by one. All Maya needed to do was to read their name tags.


Phoenix: Sounds kind of boring, I mean, she'd be looking at them individually and pretending to channel a spirit, right? That takes like 10 minutes, and I'd guess there's about 30 children there, so that's about 5 hours, just for the sake of being "cool".

Maya: You wouldn't understand, Nick, you're too old.

Quote:
AT THE END OF THE DAY…

The principal came around to Maya's class to ask a random student what he/she has just learnt in class that day. He asked Tommy.

"Tommy, what did you learn in class today?" he asked.

"I learnt that when living things die, they become dead. Also, Ms. Maya has ESP!!"

"Why is that?"

"She knew all our names without even asking us!"

The principal sighed. He didn't want to tell the little boy that his name tag was the reason for her knowing. He might start crying and his parents would kill him. He didn't want to die.

"Good boy. Ms. Maya must be a great teacher. See you tomorrow!"

Little did the principal know, Maya was polluting the minds of the kids with utter nonsense.


Phoenix: It actually seems that he knows fully well.

Maya: But if he was nice enough to let me bring all those burgers, he wouldn't mind, right?

Phoenix: ... (I fear for education these days...)

Larry: Geez, that kid's parents must be crazy to do that just because their kid cried. Back then, whenever I'd be called an idiot, I just shrug it off!

Phoenix: (Yeah, and then you ignore the reason why people keep calling you that!)

[The lights turn back on]

Maya: Oh wow...That wasn't that bad actually.

Larry: Well bye guys, I didn't talk much because I was LIED TO by the management that I would appear.

[And so he left alone, once more a heartbroken man.]

Phoenix: This may be Larry we're talking about, but that was a low blow from the Management.

Speakers: Whoops, maybe we just forgot he wasn't in this chapter?

Phoenix: You're the one with the script!

Maya: Didn't your teacher ever tell you not to bully the unsuspecting?

Speakers: Buzz off.

Phoenix: Speaking of which, Maya...

Maya: Yeah?

Phoenix: Never, ever become a teacher. Please.

Maya: Hey! I can totally be a great teacher! The Kurain Channeling School won't teach itself, you know!

Phoenix: Other than spirit channeling, I mean. Last time, Cody beat you in multiple subjects, and he's only 2nd grade.

Maya: ...Way to rub it in. Fiiine, I'm much too busy studying up on the language of burgers anyway.

Phoenix: ... (Language of burgers. Yep, I've heard just about everything now.)

[And so the last two sporkers leave, to who knows where!]




And now I would like to thank Airey for help in my last (admittedly horrible, but that was all on me) spork, and Rubia for helping me with this chapter of Ms. Maya. Now, to go back to sleep, waiting to go to a school with boring teachers, and MATH

Author:  Pessimistic_Fool [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I don't read sporks recently, but I like to read the discussions inbetween and would like to give ob9410 some general advice on how to write characters.
(By the way, do I pronounce your name right in my head? "Obie nine-four-ten"?)

1) First of all, you should really get to know them. Learn their speech patterns, their personalities, relationships, and some little details like hobbies, quirks, and opinions they have aon things. Even the most obscure detail may be relevant in context of a fic the character reviews, so if you remember that character has a strong opinion on or experience in something the fic portraits (badly), use this.
If you only remember something came up and don't remember what the character had to say to it, you can google for game scripts. These are extremely useful, not only for researching those details, but also if you want to recheck how characters adress each other, or how they laugh/express pain or fear/cuss. The closer your characters' comments sound to how they talk in the games, the better your sporkwill be.

2) Analyze, analyze, anylyze. Because the fics are often so... out there, and because canon material is limited (especially when it comes to side characters), you will inevitably have to write your characters reacting to things that never came up in their respective games, or talking to characters they never canonically interacted with. This is where it gets tricky. You'll still want their portrayal to be as faithful to the original as possible, but obviously you can't just scriptsearch "Phoenix dancing ballet in the shower" to see how someone like Apollo would comment on it. You'll have to use that super special power called logic here.
You have to look at the characters involved, analyze them, and draw a conclusion.
How do I explain this better... well, first of all, don't just write your own reaction and put Apollo's name in front of it.

Quote:
Quote:
Apollo drew back the shower curtain, only to find himself face to tutu with a very dry and enthusiastic Phoenix dancing the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Apollo: loooool Phoenix what are you doing???

^Like that. Instead, take what we do know about Apollo, and apply it to the new situation.
We know Apollo looks up to Phoenix, works for him, and doesn't enjoy seeing him do stupid things (which, as Apollo is blunt and more on the serious side, he would absolutely think of this as). He also has a tendency to say the first thing that crosses his mind when faced with something unexpected, whether or not the resulting comment is funny, whether or not it is a good idea to say it out loud, and whether or not it adds anything useful.

Quote:
Quote:
Apollo drew back the shower curtain, only to find himself face to tutu with a very dry and enthusiastic Phoenix dancing the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Apollo: ...Well, now I have seen anything. Is there any way I can un-see it?

^Better. (Note that this is just an example and certainly not perfect.)
Apollo might also comment on why he would draw back the shower curtain to begin with, as he most certainly would not enjoy seeing an actual naked Phoenix, and especially not when the naked Phoenix could also see him.
But going with the comment I used in the quote, you could now go on to have other sporkers react to Apollo's reaction (do they agree? Do they actually like the sight? Are they surprised he doesn't like the sight? Is Phoenix offended by his remark? Is Phoenix embarrassed by the resulting discussion? There are lots of directions you could go with it). Or, you could add other sporkers' reaction to the scene itself. Or just proceed to the next excerpt.

3) This is more advanced, but to improve the continuity of your spork, keep an eye on the sporkers' recent appearances in-theater, what they saw and what happened between them. You can include some references to earlier sporks or other management members if the context allows for it. I wouldn't overuse this option, but if used sparingly, it can add a nice touch to your spork. In any case, it's just nice to have a working continuity between sporks. If a character got injured during the last sporking, this is likely to come up in their next sporking appearance - either by having him or her physically effected by it (showing healing scratch marks, having a bandage around the effected area, walking on crutches...), or by having the sporkers bring it up in dialogue. The same is true for anything out-of-the-ordinary that might have occurred in the most recent sporking session.

***

So, to sum it up: Observe, analyze, conclude. And keep in mind you can take as much time as you want. When I write , I never do it in just one take, I always go over it several times. I still end up screwing some stuff up here and there, because nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes (yes, even Airey and Rubia, experienced as they are). The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and to aim for improvement. It's no shame to screw up once in a while, as long as you know you did your best and will use this experience to get even better.

Sorry for the long text.

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

@Airey The latest sporking of Turnabout Storm is going slowly but it's getting there. I should also warn you that I shall be slowing down for the next months due to real life. Sorry, but it's unavoidable.

@ob9410 While the mental image of Maya channeling a cow is funny, I feel Larry especially is out of character. I mean, Larry is dense, but he isn't that dense. Also, spirit channeling is real in the Ace Attorney universe and your sparking should reflect that.

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Pessimistic_Fool rides in like the calvary to save the day! :will:

@cuteyounggirlplus: No problem! I was just wondering when exactly I should get started on my part. I have a lot of time on my hands right now so I was considering getting started on it now and just holding off posting it (after editing a few comments here and there) until after you posted yours... or I thought maybe I should wait until you had already posted yours to get started on mine, see?

@ob9410: I agree with cuteyounggirlplus about Larry, but I think Maya was alright, and Phoenix was definitely better in this one than in the last one. You're improving! :gant:

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I went pretty wild with suggestions, but also recommended that he take his own spin on things and left the decision to him. It pleases me to see that after editing his work, he didn't just take everything I said for granted. There were some points that I suppose I could have made clearer that they need a little tweaking. It's definitely an improvement overall, nonetheless.

Now I'm wondering how the heck I'm going to incorporate Ray into my next sporking without making him alienated at some point...

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 12:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Yay! I'm doing better! :edgey:

Author:  Crescent Moon [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Yes! I've finally reached the approximate halfway point of my spork. The only reason it's taking a while to do is because I have no readily available technology capable of completely holding my draft, so I'm physically writing down my draft. Then again, I would probably just write it out on paper even if I did have the technological capabilities... :yogi:

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
Yes! I've finally reached the approximate halfway point of my spork. The only reason it's taking a while to do is because I have no readily available technology capable of completely holding my draft, so I'm physically writing down my draft. Then again, I would probably just write it out on paper even if I did have the technological capabilities... :yogi:

Ooooh. I can't wait to read it. I hope it's not too long, if you're writing it down physically. (Not really, I hope it's really long to read. :will: )
Also, does Edgeworth refer to Maya by her first name? And how should I write his truth bar going down?

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Yes, he does. And whichever way you wish. His truth bar goes down because he runs into an unexplainable contradiction that causes him to crack. In short, his mind goes boom.

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Yes, he does. And whichever way you wish. His truth bar goes down because he runs into an unexplainable contradiction that causes him to crack. In short, his mind goes boom.

Okay, because the way I write my sporkers is they have no idea what's going on if they weren't here a previous part. So he's going to question why Maya is teaching.

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I just sent the next part of my sporking to you, Rubia. If anyone else wants to see it, just ask.
Also, has anyone thought of having a Sporking Skype Group, Teamspeak or something along those lines?

Author:  cuteyounggirlplus [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 2:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Turnabout Storm part 5

The original Turnabout Storm was split into 6 videos. The unofficial fanfic version is split into 68 chapters. Therein lies the problem.

Today's sporkers:
:phoenix:
:edgeworth:
:trucy:

(Phoenix, Edgeworth and Trucy all are teleported into the theater to spork the fifth part.)

Trucy: Uncle Edgeworth, you missed it! Daddy and I sporked a fic where Apollo tried to have sex with a stepladder!

Edgeworth: That’s fine. I don’t want to see Mr. Justice doing those types of things with a ladder anyways.

Trucy: Stepladder!

Edgeworth: Hm?
Trucy: It’s called a stepladder.

Edgeworth: Well, I call it a ladder. Does it really matter?

Trucy: Of course it does. ‘Stepladder’ is the more precise version and precision matters.

Phoenix: I have to agree with Trucy on this one, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: …The proper term is still “ladder”, Wright.

Phoenix and Trucy: Stepladder.

Edgeworth: No, it’s ladder.

Phoenix and Trucy: No, it’s stepladder.

(Before any one else can get a word in, the lights dim and the show begins.)

Spoiler:
Quote:
The Judge looked almost disappointed as Apple Bloom departed, as if sorry to see the adorable filly go.


Edgeworth: I am, too, Your Honor. It might have been our only shot to learn the truth behind the second bolt.

Phoenix: We’ll probably find out what happened to it, Edgeworth. Eventually.

Quote:
(Trixie presents the weather schedule as more evidence to prove Rainbow’s guilt.)

“Lo and Behold!” Trixie reared up on her hind legs in her trademark performing pose again. “Rainbow Trash was scheduled to make several lightning storms at the eastern end of Ponyville; this is where she got the cloud from.” Trixie’s horn glowed, floating out a large map of the area from behind her rail and placing it on the mounting stand. It showed Ponyville in the east and the border of the Everfree Forest on the west edge of the map.


Phoenix: Well, that shows us where the cloud came from.

Edgeworth: A cloud from the Everfree still could have hit Ace Swift. It’s established canon that Everfree weather works in strange ways.

Quote:
(Trixie provides the motive, but it’s nothing we haven’t heard before. She doesn’t mention anything about blackmail.)


Trucy: I haven’t heard anything about the motive.
Edgeworth: It’s in the script.

Trucy: I have read about the motive. That doesn’t mean I heard anything about it.

Edgeworth: …Ugh.

Quote:
(Trixie starts to summarize her version of what happened: Rainbow Dash took a lightning cloud to Ace, who was in the Everfree Forest. When Phoenix question why Ace was in there in the first place, Trixie waves it off as unimportant.)


Phoenix: It’s sad that she has such gaping holes in her arguments and I still can’t get any of my points across.

Quote:
“Alright Trixie, continue your explanation,” Phoenix invited her, trying to show the mare magician some courtesy even if he never got any in return.

“Rainbow Trash saw him at the clearing and an opportunity to permanently retire him from the race, gathered some storm clouds, and…”—she conjured a small cloud above the center of the courtroom—“BOOM!!!!” fried Ace Swift…” she declared, illustrating her point with a small, magically triggered bolt of lightning that seemed to hit the floor in front of the defense rail with a sharp crack, causing Phoenix to flinch back. Twilight didn’t bother, knowing it was just an illusion—one of Trixie’s many stage tricks.


Trucy: Cool! You think I could make a trick like that, Daddy?

Phoenix: You know the rules. No pyrotechnics before you’re 25 and properly trained.

Trucy: Yes, Daddy.

Quote:
(Phoenix objects to Trixie’s claims. He states that the Forest would be way too dark to properly aim.)


Edgeworth: …That’s a good point, Wright.

Phoenix: Especially considering that the entirety of the prosecutor’s argument on why the death couldn’t be accidental is that the lightning bolt would need to hit a precise spot.

Quote:
(Trixie claims that the Rainbow Dash simply followed Ace Swift inside. Phoenix argues that Rainbow wouldn’t have time to go grab the cloud if that were true. Trixie uses this to say the murder was premeditated and has evidence to prove her point.)


Edgeworth: She had evidence to back up her speculation? Why not present it before?

Phoenix: Well, this way she could embarrass me. Trixie seems kind of petty that way.

Quote:
(Trixie has one more piece of evidence to present. It’s a manila envelope found in Ace’s belongings. The author ends on this cliffhanger:)

For his part, Phoenix felt a fresh trickle of sweat down his neck as he observed Rainbow’s reaction. I have a bad feeling about this… I hope whatever is in that thing doesn’t hurt Rainbow Dash’s case even more! he thought, worried the envelope contained decisive evidence of her guilt. If it did, Phoenix knew it would be the end of the trial, and there was nothing he could do to stop it—the guilty verdict would come down, and he would have failed in his promise to protect an innocent pony.

All he could do was await the inevitable…


Edgeworth: You’re not going to keep anyone in suspense if your cliffhangers are as predictable as this.


(The lights come up as the three sit around and talk.)

Trucy: …you don’t like cliffhangers, huh?

Edgeworth: I don’t like poorly written cliffhangers. Since it’s obvious whatever is in the envelope is what Ace Swift was using to blackmail Rainbow Dash, the evidence would at best be circumstantial. Since the cliffhanger relies on the audience to believe the evidence might be decisive, the audience knowing the evidence is circumstantial would ruin the cliffhanger.

Trucy: Oh.

Phoenix: I guess the author must think their audience isn’t clever enough to figure it out.

(As Phoenix stops talking, the light start to dim once more. The break is over.)

Spoiler:
Quote:
(Trixie reveals the contents of the envelope to be embarrassing photos of Rainbow Dash. The gallery bursts out laughing. Phoenix questions why Trixie presented it as evidence.)


Edgeworth: It’s obvious, isn’t it? She did it to embarrass Rainbow Dash.

Phoenix: She could’ve figured out that Ace Swift was blackmailing Rainbow Dash.

Edgeworth: You’re giving Trixie too much credit, Wright.

Quote:
“They were in the victim’s bag, weren’t they? They are important evidence! Do you think Trixie would be so low as to show these pictures for the sole purpose of humiliating the defendant?” the mare magician asked, putting on a hurt look.

That’s EXACTLY what I think you did! Phoenix was all but certain, trying to force his mind back to matter at hand, certain he’d never get those images out of his head. ”What were pictures… uh…” Phoenix hesitated to say it, “like… these… doing on the victim anyway?” he asked, motioning towards the envelope he’d been given.

“How should Trixie know?” the show mare shrugged, looking very pleased with herself.

You said these pictures were important evidence, and you’re not going to explain why? Now I KNOW you brought them out just to embarrass Rainbow Dash! Phoenix glared at her.


Phoenix: It looks like you were right, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Unfortunately. If Trixie were one of my prosecutors, she’d be fired for actions like this. Not only did she fail to see the painfully obvious, but she presented what she thought was irrelevant evidence to the court!

Quote:
(The judge is about to hand down a verdict when Phoenix objects. He claims that there’s no decisive proof that Rainbow Dash was at the crime scene. This forces Trixie to call Fluttershy as a witness.)


Trucy: Oh! We finally get to see Fluttershy’s witness act.

Quote:
(Trixie asks Fluttershy to state their name and occupation but Fluttershy is too quiet to hear. Phoenix tries to stall the trial to the next day but Fluttershy hears him and, still thinking he’s a literal phoenix, starts lively chatting to him. The judge forces Phoenix to do the prosecutor’s job and get Fluttershy to testify.)


Trucy: …And they do the same gag as the one they did in the beginning. Boring.


(The lights flicker back on as the back doors unlock.)

Phoenix: I guess we’ll have to wait until next time to see Fluttershy testify.

Trucy: The formats of these chapters feel weird…

Edgeworth: Yes, they do. After so many sporkings, the fic still feels like less like a linear narrative and more like a series of random events.

Trucy: Yeah, it’s like scenes are just chopped in half. But instead of putting them two halves together, the author put them into two separate chapters.

Phoenix: I think that’s exactly what they did.

(The three slowly leave the sporking theater.)

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 2:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I skipped the other Turnabout Storm sporkings because ponies are for girls etc. but I got curious and read this one. Why? I just...why would Ace Attorney and My Little Pony crossover? *mind explodes*

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
Yes! I've finally reached the approximate halfway point of my spork. The only reason it's taking a while to do is because I have no readily available technology capable of completely holding my draft, so I'm physically writing down my draft. Then again, I would probably just write it out on paper even if I did have the technological capabilities... :yogi:

You can save drafts on this forum. Just put your sporking up for post a reply, but instead of hitting 'Submit', hit 'Save' and then 'Load' when you want to work on it. This has the added advantage of being able to put all the BBcode as you spork.

@cuteyounggirlpplus: Yay! Turnabout Storm! I liked the pyrotechnics gag.
I'll get started on the next part later today, hopefully. I'm getting a new computer today, but first there're some file transfers that need to happen, so I don't know how long I'll have access to the computer I'm using right now and I prefer to do one uninterrupted spork. But we'll probably have Turnabout Storm Part Six up by Sunday at the latest. :godot:

Author:  Crescent Moon [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

ob9410 wrote:
I skipped the other Turnabout Storm sporkings because ponies are for girls etc. but I got curious and read this one. Why? I just...why would Ace Attorney and My Little Pony crossover? *mind explodes*


You do understand that the majority of people who watch MLP FiM are male, right? Heck, I'm actually a fan of the show.

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 2:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
ob9410 wrote:
I skipped the other Turnabout Storm sporkings because ponies are for girls etc. but I got curious and read this one. Why? I just...why would Ace Attorney and My Little Pony crossover? *mind explodes*


You do understand that the majority of people who watch MLP FiM are male, right? Heck, I'm actually a fan of the show.

The ponies are for girls part was just a joke. :payne:
Also I'm thinking of having a real deep sporking with Shoe and Missle. Just kidding...or am I?

Author:  Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I think we had a rule against non-human sporkers once, but I wouldn't mind dropping it if the result is entertaining enough.
That said, non-speaking characters are incredibly hard to pull off without the whole thing becoming repetitive, boring and/or ridiculous.
I think it can be done, but I wouldn't recommend it for someone who's still pretty much a beginner.

(And yes, I know Taka has been used as sort of a sporker before. Sorta.)

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
I think we had a rule against non-human sporkers once, but I wouldn't mind dropping it if the result is entertaining enough.
That said, non-speaking characters are incredibly hard to pull off without the whole thing becoming repetitive, boring and/or ridiculous.
I think it can be done, but I wouldn't recommend it for someone who's still pretty much a beginner.

(And yes, I know Taka has been used as sort of a sporker before. Sorta.)

I'm tempted to actually do this some time.......With my own OC, "Dog, the wonder Dog!" (That's actually what my first dog was called...)
This was a joke, don't hurt me please! *hides*

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

OCs are against the rules. Just FYI.
Although I do sometimes want to bring back Management-tan.

Author:  Oliver [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
OCs are against the rules. Just FYI.
Although I do sometimes want to bring back Management-tan.

Wha? But Dog the Wonder Dog is so cool! He can bark! Confirmed Mary Sue

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

@cuteyounggirlplus (Maybe I'll just call you CYGP?) Nicely done once again. With the way the fic is progressing, more and more is getting cut for length and boredom. I'm honestly surprised it lasted a whole 68 chapters. How far are you and Airey going to take it, by the way?

@Moonlit Do you mean you've been writing down all your drafts on paper all this time? I'm impressed. Usually these things take up a lot of space, and I can't manage it well because I often may need to tweak some things, and constantly erasing on paper can get messy.

@Pessimistic B-but Taka was one of the best sporkers I've ever come up with. :(

@ob9410 I know you're joking about the pets, but unless you can find a fic focused from their point of view, I don't think they'll have much to say. Though, if there's anyone best suited to babysit animals, it's Blackquill... Or, if it were on me, I could bring in Regina and Souta (the other Simon) and we'd have a grand ol' time at the Sporking Circus. With Blackquill.

Author:  Skittlemask [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
@ob9410 I know you're joking about the pets, but unless you can find a fic focused from their point of view, I don't think they'll have much to say.


Reminds me of the fact that there actually is a fic entirely in Shoe's perspective. But from what I remember, it's surprisingly very good and very long at that (or well, at least for a fic in a cat's pov)

Anyway @cuteyounggirlplus, thank god for these cuts, I would fall asleep otherwise. I know in the video series Layton comes in somewhere in the middle. Does that still happen in the fic?

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
You can save drafts on this forum. Just put your sporking up for post a reply, but instead of hitting 'Submit', hit 'Save' and then 'Load' when you want to work on it. This has the added advantage of being able to put all the BBcode as you spork.


Oh geez, I'm such an idiot. All this time I've been doing the entire spork on a word document and physically typing in every code there. This is alot easier, I'll be doing this from now on.

Author:  Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
@Pessimistic B-but Taka was one of the best sporkers I've ever come up with. :(

Maybe so, but you aren't a beginner. (Also, I personally dislike emoticons and other unsayable things in sporkers' dialogue. It makes it impossible for me to "watch" the spork, since I have no idea what I'm supposed to see or hear. I don't remember if it was you or someone else who did the emoticon "talk" in their spork, so if it wasn't you, ignore this comment. And of course, even if it was you, the other readers may have entirely different thoughts about it, because I'm an old grump. ;))

Author:  AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

I believe that was the spork Rubia and I collaborated on, lol.

Author:  Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Personally, I think it turned out to be a success, especially that bit with Widget vs Taka. If it annoys people, though, I'll try to keep it down with all the emojis. Still, it's difficult to write non-human sporkers unless we "translate" for them, but then they kinda lose the touch of being non-human sporkers, especially that they don't always speak the same language. (I was never fond of the concept in which writers let different species speak to one another like they're all using the same universal language. The exception is when the animals actually learn how to speak human language.)

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