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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:15 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I don't think animals should be translated, but it's possible to write them by describing their body language. The problem for me is that text on its own doesn't give me anything. I need something visual, sensual or audible to accompany it in order to make sense of what is happening. When you put emoticons as (part of) dialogue, you might as well write: Quote: Animal: *snerples* Yes, I see there is a verb there, the animal is doing something. But what am I looking at? Quote: Animal: O.O I understand this animal is making big eyes. I understand that because I'm familiar enough with this particular emoticon. However, I don't actually see the animal making big eyes. What I see is the existence of an animal, and what appears to be a text message on a billboard in front of it. The animal itself isn't doing anything here, there is no descriptive text as should be. At best, the animal is saying "O" twice. It's just... disruptive, I guess? It throws me out of my beautiful imagination. It's like playing the games and suddenly, instead of dialogue, the character I'm talking to offers me two broken lines of programmers' code. Even if I can technically see the words in there, the atmosphere is lost. It's hard to describe... but like I said, body language would be a good tactic IMHO. Just like how we use descriptive text to describe when the human sporkers do something (such as *clears his throat*, or *pouts*), instead of putting it like this: Quote: Phoenix:
Judge: I don't appreciate that. ònó |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Ah, I see where you're coming from. I always imagined Widget just making those emoticons, since it has emoticons for a face; but with Taka, he gets his own special tablet to input them and shoves the thing in people's faces. Perhaps that was a detail I should have mentioned the first time. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, I suppose that can work for Taka. (Great, now I want to see the Ace Attorney pets playing a quiz show. ;)) I don't think just any animal should be that tech savvy, though. One is believable - all of them, less so. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I think we'll have to leave that stuff to the fanfic writers. XD And if it comes around to being sporked, there still should be some humans to accompany them. The most Missile seems to understand outside of his job are Samurai Dogs. (He is a very smart doggie, yes, but his stomach speaks louder than his barks. Kinda like his trainer/owner.) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:24 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Missile in the sporking theatre, barking at the fic randomly and incessantly, and then everyone figures out that he's actually barking every time a plot hole shows up? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Gumshoe better be around, then. They make the perfect pair. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 3:11 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
[Welcome back to the Sporking Theater, the Happiest Place on Earth!I still don't see why we're adding these taglines all of a sudden.] Todays Sporkers for Ms. Maya (Chapter 2) are.... Ms. Maya herself... Hey! It's Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya. *pouts* Larry Butz I get to appear in this chapter...right? Phoenix Wright I'm here again? Just great. Miles Edgeworth Oh god...there aren't any children here, right? Phoenix: Unless you're talking about the fic, there aren't any children here. Edgeworth: ...I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, Wright. *looks at the other two* Larry: Hey! The gang's all here! Doesn't it make you feel like a kid again? Maya: And we're all here for a fic where I'm the teacher! Listen to the grown-ups, kids! Larry: I'd be glad to listen to whatever you say, Ms. Maya! Maya: That's Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya! Now let's say it together, everyone! "Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya"... Phoenix: ...You have a point there, Edgeworth. [the lights dim] Quote: Maya entered the classroom of her class. She was now teaching them Biology (1). She was now a substitute for their Science teacher Mr. Holmes. Maya and Phoenix *fake sobs* Maya: Oh how could they take Mr. Holmes out of the fic! he was the best character, even including canon. Phoenix: It is truly a great loss. Excuse me Management, could we have a moment of silence? Management: Very well. Even we are heart broken by this great loss. Management: Now, *sob* could we please *sob* continue? Edgeworth: Wait...they're not acting? They're actually moved by this? Quote: "So, class. Biology is a hard subject because you have to memorize these cells in this poster," she said, pointing to a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally big poster behind her, "that I drew last night. Also, you have to memorize the cell structure." Phoenix: Professionalism at it's finest. I salute you, Ayam! Maya: Wait a minute...I thought this was kindergarten? Why do we teach Biology? Phoenix: They let you take burgers in, so I doubt an educational subject would matter. Edgeworth: So, may I ask why Maya is teaching? She isn't qualified to be a teacher, as far as I know. Maya: Because I'm the teacher in this fic. Edgeworth: That's not the point. A perfectly good teacher such as Mr. Holmes is absent, and it doesn't explain why. Maya: That's not important! What is, is that I'm the teacher! Edgeworth: I would think the author would do better to at least mention a hint about it. Phoenix: Come on, Edgeworth. Do you really think a story that might be written by a kid would care for those details? Edgeworth: E-even then, it's only fair to the readers that... Phoenix: When has a fic in this theater been "fair" to its readers? Edgeworth: Doh! *truth bar explodes* Phoenix: Besides, as I said before, in the previous part she smuggled in burgers. Edgeworth: ... Maya: Hey, don't question the burgers! Edgeworth: L-Let's just move on. Larry: I'm not going to appear...am I? Quote: The class stared blankly at her. "If it's so hard, then why are you going to teach it to us?" a little girl asked. Phoenix: The kids have a point, I doubt Maya, let alone these children, would be able to learn biology. Unless she'll channel a cow with experience in the subject *tries to hold laughter* Edgeworth: W-What ever happened in the previous part, I don't want to know. Maya: I wonder if I really can channel ham? Larry: No! My cute little Maya can't turn into a fat cow! All: ... Edgeworth: You're probably unaware of what you just said. Larry: I'm completely aware of what I just said! I said I don't want Maya to turn into a fat cow, what's so bad about that? Phoenix: Even you couldn't be this oblivious to what you just said...right? Larry: Huh? Why are you all looking at me like that? Maya: Let's just move on, obviously he doesn't get it. Quote: "Oh, that's a wonderful question, Amy!" Maya replied."Well, you will be learning them, but I won't teach 'em to you because it confuses me too. I'll just leave Mr. Holmes to explain it to you later when he gets better. So, since it's Biology, I'll explain what parents dread to explain to children like you: where babies come from!" Maya clapped her hands. Edgeworth: What was this rated again? Speakers: K+ Larry: I was told they came from- Maya: A stork. Larry: What? No, I heard they came fro- Quote: The class of first graders looked at each other. "Why don't they want to tell us where babies come from?" asked a little boy. "Because, they're parents! They're supposed to ruin all our fun! Besides, Nick won't tell me where they come from too! I found out from Detective Gumshoe yesterday." The class gave a chorus of 'oooooooh's Larry: So Nick and that detective guy get a mention...but I haven't appeared? Phoenix: Management, you haven't lied to him again, have you? Speakers: Just wait, you'll appear eventually, Mr Butz. Larry: I hope I do, or I won't come again! Edgeworth: You have no power over that, Larry. Quote: "Okay, let me explain the process in detail for you. Now, sit down properly and pick up a pencil. You need to write this down and study this for your end of year exam." The class chorused a one-syllable word once again. Seriously, they need to speak more. One-syllable words are not good for their health. "Okay, this is how it starts. Two grown-ups of different genders fall in love." The kids copied it down. "What if two adults of the same gender fall in love?" some random kid asked. Larry: Yeah, what would happen? Edgeworth: We're not here to voice our opinion on homosexuality, let's continue. Quote: "Well, those people are called gay. You will learn that later on." Larry: Oh, those are those weird people right? Maya: No! Gays are usually just like you or me! Who cares what they get up to in private. Phoenix: I actually agree with Maya. I don't know why they're bringing it up in the fic though. It is mentioned several times that the children are taking notes, we'll skip those parts Quote: "Moving on, when they fall in love, they get married and the ring on their fingers show that they are married and that is why when adults get married, they wear rings on their left hands." "The ring is kind of like a signaling device for storks." Phoenix: And now we're back to comedy. Larry: B-But my parents said they came when they- Edgeworth: Larry. No. Quote: "The storks then raid their house, looking for the couple's photos. Then, they steal it. You see, since they're birds, they don't go to jail for those kinds of crimes. It's unfair, really. They get to do it but we can't." Edgeworth: *opens mouth* Phoenix: No. It's supposed to be funny and nothing else. Edgeworth: To be shut down by you of all people... Quote: "Then, they eat fish and shape it to look kind of like their parents. That is why children look like their parents. When all that is done, they wrap them up in a big cloth and carry the babies in their mouth." Maya: Ayam! That's gross! Phoenix: So does that mean we're all fish? Edgeworth: Yes, Wright. We are all fish. *rolls eyes* Phoenix: I was being sarcastic to y'know! Larry: This is boring, I'm going to sleep until I appear. Speakers: Look, we feel bad for lying to you, so we'll allow it. Just this once. All: W-What? Speakers: Why are you surprised, Mr. Wright, Ms. Fey., you were the ones who said it was low, even for us, and we thought we should bring him all chapters until he appears. He really is quite important in the fic Phoenix: Fine. *crosses arms* Quote: "One more thing, doctors are in it as well. They provide the hospital for the storks to land and deliver the babies. That is why people use the term 'delivering babies'. Any questions?" A little kid raised his hand and asked, "If storks do the delivering, why were our mommies pregnant?" "That's another wonderful question! You will get a burger on your way out later. Well, you see, being pregnant is a woman's excuse for being fat. They purposely become fat so that the storks will come to them as the fat ladies are also signals. Any other questions?" Phoenix: Yes, lots. Edgeworth: If we asked them all we'd never finish the sporking. Larry: *snore* Quote: Another kid did the same, "Then, why do they say that babies come from their mommies' belly?" "You see, doctors are evil. So they are trying to trick people that babies being born are because of their help and intelligence. They don't give credit to the poor storks! Also, it is a perfect explanation for the 'fat lady' excuse." The children nodded their head in agreement, remembering their horrible memories with the dentist. Phoenix: At least this is somewhat accurate to how children think. Edgeworth: What? I was never afraid of the dentist. Phoenix: Normal children with normal childhoods. Edgeworth: ... Phoenix: I didn't mean that incident! Sorry, Edgeworth. Edgeworth: ... Quote: "Any more questions?" "Why do women have babies and not men?" a little boy asked. "Because, we women are special and you men are not!" Maya concluded. "Now you know where babies come from. If you ask Mr. Holmes, he'll give you a different version. Don't listen to him. He's lying. I can tell, because the dead tell them to me!" Phoenix: Well, men aren't special like you, because you're a Fey. Maya: And I'm also a woman, so I'm awesome regardless of my heritage. Phoenix: Well, sorry for not being part of the "awesome" side. *rolls eyes* Edgeworth: I suppose you'll then claim that society would do better under a matriarchy? Maya: ...I was just kidding, guys. You sure are taking it a lot harder than I thought. Phoenix: (We can never tell with you...) Quote: "Yes, Miss Maya!" the children chorused again. Are they in a choir or something? They don't have those angelic voices like those people in churches…Or do they? AFTER SCHOOL: The principal walked over to Maya's class. He asked a little girl what she had learnt that day. She replied, "Ms. Maya told us where babies came from! She's the best teacher ever! No one else would tell us before she did! Those storks are really kind creatures!" The principal gaped at her. "I see…" he finally said. One more day to add to the list of days she had filled children's brains with non-sense. Edgeworth: At least this principal seems to have some sense. Maya: I think he was the one who let Ayam take in burgers. Edgeworth: ...I didn't say he lacked responsibility. Phoenix: Well anyway, I don't see why nonsense is spelled non-sense here. [the lights come back on] Larry: Ugh, what? Are we done? Phoenix: It seems we are. Larry: Well I'm leaving. I'm not coming again. Edgeworth: As I said earlier, you don't have a choice. Larry: Sure I don't. [Larry leaves the theater] Edgeworth: I'll be frank, that fic didn't make much sense, but if Maya were a teacher I bet that'd happen. Maya: Hey! Edgeworth: Anywho, I'll be leaving, I have work to do. [Edgeworth leaves] Phoenix: Again, please never become a teacher. Maya: And again, I'm busy learning the language of burgers. I have to go mourn Mr. Holmes as well. Phoenix: (The language of burgers? Still? Ugh, stop thinking about it, Phoenix!) [and so the Wright and Co. Law duo leave.] Again, thank you to Rubia for checking this for me. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:48 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
This iz s0 sp00kz, s0m30n3 5p0rk th15 https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8659657/1/CR ... gement-Day |
Author: | Mayu Igiyooki [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
^ Please don't speak in Leet. It's against the rules. |
Author: | luck [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:48 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@ob9410: I know that Larry is inmature, but he's not a kid, and you're writing him like one. Maya and Nick were okay for the most part. You could work on Edgeworth, too, but Larry just bothers me. And you shouldn't use emoticonos in the middle of the sporking. Just describe the body language as Pessimistic_Fool said. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Guess who got a laptop of their own. Starting work on Turnabout Storm, Part Six today. May take a while because I have never used FIMFiction before and the layout on this site is throwing me for a loop. (Seriously, it's awful.) Juuuust to be clear, we did agree that crossover characters in crossover sporkings was acceptable, right? As long as it was still comprehensible to someone who had little/no experience with the other series? Edit: I'm not planning on bringing in any pony sporkers, by the way, if that's what that sounded like. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 12:25 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Guess who got a laptop of their own. Starting work on Turnabout Storm, Part Six today. May take a while because I have never used FIMFiction before and the layout on this site is throwing me for a loop. (Seriously, it's awful.) Juuuust to be clear, we did agree that crossover characters in crossover sporkings was acceptable, right? As long as it was still comprehensible to someone who had little/no experience with the other series? Edit: I'm not planning on bringing in any pony sporkers, by the way, if that's what that sounded like. No, they are NOT allowed. A special case was made for PWvPL characters as the Labyrinthian characters are technically neither Professor Layton or Phoenix Wright characters. If there are characters not from *insert franchise here* but aren't OCs and are somehow connected to AA, I guess they could count. (?) |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 12:35 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Dunno. I went back and checked our discussion of that rule a few pages back, and we seemed to agree that crossover characters were acceptable in crossover sporkings. Also, due to sticker-related technical difficulties, I won't be starting tonight anyway. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:15 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Really? That's pretty cool. Also what do you mean sticker related issues? Did you just stuff a sticker into the computer or something? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:21 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
^ I'm sure she is putting stickers on the computer, not in it. Unless it's one of those kinds of laptops that are strangely powered by stickers. What? Imo, nothing wrong with pony sporkers, but the only one worth bringing in is Pinkie, but she'd be kinda like Kay in the way she bounds around |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 4:17 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: ^ I'm sure she is putting stickers on the computer, not in it. Unless it's one of those kinds of laptops that are strangely powered by stickers. What? Imo, nothing wrong with pony sporkers, but the only one worth bringing in is Pinkie, but she'd be kinda like Kay in the way she bounds around You DON'T have a Laptop powered by stickers? That's really weird. :/ I'll stop sporking for the next week to replay Ace Attorney series and get used to the characters. |
Author: | Bramimond [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 4:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Anyone need a DGS fanfiction to spork? Cuz I've got one right here: http://bramimond.dreamwidth.org/636.html Author is yours truly. I wrote it in my not so right mind. No I wasn't high or drunk. Just sleep deprived. Only things to look out for is swearing, drug use, and some suggestive themes. Maybe you could bring in some DGS characters into the theatre for the first time too? That would be interesting. But yeah...have at it. |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 4:59 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Bramimond wrote: Anyone need a DGS fanfiction to spork? Cuz I've got one right here: http://bramimond.dreamwidth.org/636.html Author is yours truly. I wrote it in my not so right mind. No I wasn't high or drunk. Just sleep deprived. Only things to look out for is swearing, drug use, and some suggestive themes. Maybe you could bring in some DGS characters into the theatre for the first time too? That would be interesting. But yeah...have at it. I haven't played DGS, but I want to see Sherlock Holmes being your generic Gentleman in the sporking theater. (He is supposed to be a genius gentleman, right?) |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:05 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@ob9410: That may be helpful. Good luck! And Holmes, as much as he tries to play off as one, never can manage to NOT be silly somehow. @Bram: Considering that not many of us may understand the characters as well as I do, since I played the game, I suppose I'll be the one best suited for the job, though I already started on The Hellspawn (that last one luck recommended). As for that crackfic I promised... eheh, I'll see what I come up with. How hyped is everyone to see this fic sporked? I may have to set mine in progress aside, or does someone else want to tackle it instead? I don't mind. I picked it because I didn't have any in particular at the time. |
Author: | Bramimond [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:08 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Have fun, Rubes ;) |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:22 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: @ob9410: That may be helpful. Good luck! And Holmes, as much as he tries to play off as one, never can manage to NOT be silly somehow. @Bram: Considering that not many of us may understand the characters as well as I do, since I played the game, I suppose I'll be the one best suited for the job, though I already started on The Hellspawn (that last one luck recommended). As for that crackfic I promised... eheh, I'll see what I come up with. How hyped is everyone to see this fic sporked? I may have to set mine in progress aside, or does someone else want to tackle it instead? I don't mind. I picked it because I didn't have any in particular at the time. I really want to see this sporked, because I'm real hyped for DGS. And I almost want to see Joint Reasoning used. I've also been thinking of using Logic in the sporking theater... |
Author: | Crescent Moon [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 6:04 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
ob9410 wrote: I've also been thinking of using Logic in the sporking theater... In a place like this? I don't know... |
Author: | Oliver [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 6:29 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
TheMoonlitAttorney wrote: ob9410 wrote: I've also been thinking of using Logic in the sporking theater... In a place like this? I don't know... People have been killed with hot air balloons in this game, is it that farfetched to use logic here? Also, I found some spork worthy fics! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9536445/1/ ... d-Monsters https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11068425/1/A-Cykes-in-Time (because time travel) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10906817/1 ... Objections https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11392837/1 ... Randomness https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11209522/1 ... -a-Fighter https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11246533/1 ... between-us |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
On one hand, yesssssssss DGS yesssssssssssssssssss Holmes I love him. But on the other hand, I've taken to the strictest possible spoiler policy... hm... Turnabout Storm, Part Six forthcoming sometime this week. I got a job... |
Author: | Oliver [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 5:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Okay, I finished the first Ace Attorney and the first few cases of AAI, so I'll start sporking chapter 3 of Ms. Maya, wish me luck! (I finished AA and case 1-4 of AAI alot faster then I was expecting. ) |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 3:22 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Title- O romance impossível Rating- This fic is really cheesy, has improbable scenarios that don't even have an attempted explanation, and everyone, especially Mia, is really out of character. It seems to be written at a child's level, you'll see what I mean later. Now this fic is written in Brazilian Portuguese while I'm used to European Portuguese. So my translation may be a little… off at times but nothing too major, I hope. There were some things that I couldn't tell if they were mistakes or if it's the way Brazilians word things. There were some genuine spelling errors that I mimicked into the translation, and a huge overabundance of commas. Near the end I stopped translating so literally, because it started to sound like google translate. Even though both my parents were born in Portugal, and obviously know the language fluently, they weren't much help. Now here comes our sporkers, the trio! Phoenix Wright! "Is the title written like that to make it look cool? Or is the fic written in another language?" Maya Fey! "Don't be so worried, Nick! If it is written in another language, it wouldn't be the first time!" and Miles Edgeworth! "Regardless, it isn't too hard to figure out what kind of fic this is going to be." [We open up in our beloved sporking theatre. All of our sporkers are already seated and ready to start the sporking. However, the management is feeling a bit… chipper today.] Phoenix: ! What does the narrator mean by that? Edgeworth: I don't know, but the management being in a good mood is never a good thing. Maya: Yeah, but if they're in a good mood then maybe they'll give us better snacks! Speakers: Aw, are you guys hungry? All: ! Phoenix: A-Athena!? Is that you? Speakers: Hey boss! And yes, before you ask, I did clean the toilet before I left! Phoenix: What are you doing working with the management!? Tr-Traitor! Maya: Yeah, I thought you were on our side! Speakers: Hey, relax! I'm only here because the management asked for a translation. I made sure the fic wasn't too bad, if it was then I wasn't going to translate it for them. Wait, you wouldn't? Nope! You can't get the best of me! Maya: Hey Nick, it seems that your guess was right about the language thing. Edgeworth: That much is obvious just by looking at the title. Phoenix: Hey, some people like writing the title in other languages to make it look cool. Right? Edgeworth: Yes, but most people pick Latin or something like that. Maya: Pfft, nobody picks Latin anymore, Mr. Edgeworth! You're becoming as old-fashioned as Nick! Edgeworth: I am not! I can work a computer, mind you. Phoenix: I'm not really that old-fashioned… Speakers: Enough chit-chat. Athena, start the fic. Quote: O romance impossível Por: flavio.schefer1 Quote: The impossible romance By: flavio.schefer1 Phoenix: So… what language is this? Speakers: Portuguese! Edgeworth: Hm, none of the games have been available in Portuguese… Speakers: … Athena, you need to be more strict! You know what we'd say. … Maya: U-Um, I wonder what makes this romance "impossible?" Edgeworth: We'll find out later, I suppose. Quote: Capítulo 1- O reencontro Era um dia qualquer no meu escritório de advocacia recém-reaberto, pois havia recuperado a permissão para advogar havia poucos meses. Então a campainha tocou e fui atender a porta. Quote: Chapter 1- The reunion It was an ordinary day in my newly reopened law office, I had regained permission to practice law in a few months. Then the doorbell rang and I answered the door. Phoenix: Wow, this sounds so… Maya: So what? Phoenix: I don't know how to word it, but… Edgeworth: I think I know what you mean, Wright. Those two sentences don't sound like they go together, correct? It seems like someone cut a bit of text out in the middle. It's too sudden. Phoenix: Yeah, I guess that's one way to put it. Quote: - Pois não?-perguntei a moça que estava de pé na porta, me olhando feliz, como se fossemos amigos há anos. -Realmente não me reconheceste meu caro pupilo? Então a olhei de cima a baixo e a reconheci de imediato, convidando-a a entrar na sala de recepção. Quote: "May I help you?" I asked the girl standing at the door, she gazed at me happily, as if we had been friends for years. "Do you really not recognize me my dear pupil?" Then I looked up and down and recognized her immediately, as she entered the reception room. Phoenix: Pupil? Then this is- Maya: Sis! I can't believe you didn't recognize her. Bad Nick! Phoenix: Trust me, if Mia showed up at my door I would definitely recognize her. Just what is going on here? Quote: -Mas não pode ser você. -Porque não?-ela perguntou. -PORQUE VOCÊ MORREU HÁ ANOS ATRÁS. Quote: "But it can't be you." "Why not?" She asked. "BECAUSE YOU DIED YEARS AGO." Edgeworth: Too much caps lock. I know something like this should evoke surprise, but italics would've been fine. Phoenix: Never mind that! That sentence sounds weird. Just "years ago?" Do I not remember how many years ago Mia died? Even if I didn't, "a few years ago" would sound more natural. Are you sure you're translating this right? Speakers: Of course! Or, um, I think. Phoenix: You "think?" Speakers: Well, this fic is written in Brazilian Portuguese, and I'm used to European. They do phrase things differently, but I know for a fact that I translated that sentence correctly. C'mon boss, you don't seriously doubt that I'm better than google translate, do you? Phoenix: No, it's just that it sounded funny. Maya: I've been thinking, why is Nick that surprised to see Mia at his door? He knows spirit channeling, and Pearly and I channeled her before… Quote: -Pois eu voltei à vida, Wright. Quote: "I came back to life, Wright." All: … Phoenix: W-What? Edgeworth: Impossible! Maya: Yeah, not even spirit channeling can bring a person back to life! Edgeworth: I-I believe a headache will be forming soon. There's no way this can be explained logically. Phoenix: I'd like to see them try. Maya: Yeah, what he said! Quote: -Então me conte tudo. Quote: "Then tell me everything." Phoenix: Shouldn't I be more… surprised? I sound way too laid back. I'd probably be thinking that this was a dream. Maya: *gasp* Xin Eohp strikes again! Look, you've been replaced with an emotionless, boring clone! Why do fanfic authors always do this? Maybe it's a conspiracy… Edgeworth: I doubt that there's an underground group of authors who plan to write boring clones of all the characters, Maya. They just simply don't know how to keep people in character. Maya: Phooey. At least a conspiracy would make these bad fanfics more interesting… Quote: Mas, quando ela ia começar a falar meu telefone tocou. -Escritório de Advocacia Wright&associados, bom dia. -Olá Nick!-Disse uma voz feminina do outro lado. Quote: However, when she began to speak my phone rang. "Wright and Co. Law Offices, good morning." "Hi Nick!" Said a female voice from the other side. Maya: Hey, look! I'm finally is this fic! Edgeworth: And you're happy about that? Phoenix: Something's wrong with this. If someone who was just dead walked through the door, I don't think I would be picking up the phone. Please don't tell me I'm the only one? Edgeworth: I would pick up the phone. Phoenix: Wh-What? Edgeworth: I would be calling the hospital because I'd be needing some serious help. It's the most logical thing, isn't it? Phoenix: No, it's not! Quote: -Maya, como você está? -Bem, mas você já soube? Ela voltou dos mortos. Quote: "Maya, how are you?" "Good, but don't you already know? She came back from the dead." Maya: If that actually happened, I'd be calling Nick right away! Not hours later… Quote: -Sim, eu soube, pois ela está aqui na minha sala. -Ela disse que queria te ver, e perguntou se você tinha namorada. -Eu não tenho, mas porque ela quis saber isso? Quote: "Yes, I know, she came here to my room." "She said that she wanted to see you, and asked if you had a girlfriend." "I don't have one, but why did she want to know that?" Edgeworth: Of course it's one of those fics. Phoenix: Oh, c'mon fic-me! I'm not that dense. Stop making me look like an idiot! Maya: Nick, that's not you, it's Xin Eohp! Now he's not just emotionless and boring, he's dumb too. Quote: -Eu não faço a menor ideia. Pergunte você mesmo. –Ela disse em tom um tanto malicioso. -Certo, até mais. Quote: "I don't have a clue. Ask her yourself." She said in a very malicious tone. "Sure, see you later." Phoenix: Was there a point to that conversation? I mean, Mia's right there! She can tell me everything instead. Maya: It's a shipping story. Of course the main love interest can't tell you those things. Edgeworth: I don't know, I feel that the phone call was there just to drag the story on. Phoenix: Well they're doing a good job, this is getting boring. Quote: Então me voltei novamente para a minha visita, e perguntei: - O que está havendo aqui? Ela não respondeu. Apenas chegou mais perto e me beijou. -Isso está acontecendo. –Ela finalmente disse. Quote: I then returned to my visitor and asked: "What is going on here?" She didn't respond. She only came closer and kissed me. "That's what's going on." She finally said. Phoenix: I don't think that's what I was asking. I was probably wondering why she's alive in the first place! Maya: Hey, I think I know what the point of the phone call was! It was to bring it to the romance setting, so Xin wouldn't ask "why are you alive" and instead be curious about what Ayam said about a girlfriend. Edgeworth: What you're saying is that the phone call was to stop Wright from asking interesting questions. That actually makes some sense. Maya: That's Xin Eohp, Mr. Edgeworth! Quote: -Mas e o seu noivo? -Ele não quis sequer falar comigo. Disse que estava muito mal pelo que havia feito. -Mas porque o beijo?- Perguntei relativamente alegre, já que sempre guardei uma pequena paixão por ela. -Porque eu quero que você seja meu, assim como você já me quis um dia. -Eu aceito. –Disse baixinho para ela. E a beijei novamente. Quote: "But what about your fiancé?" "He didn't even want to speak with me. He said that he was very bad for what he had done." "But why the kiss?" I asked relatively happy, I always had a little crush on her. "Because I always wanted you to be mine, just as you wanted me someday." "I accept." I said softly to her. And I kissed her again. Phoenix: *monotonous voice* Yes, let's ignore the fact that someone who was dead is suddenly alive and just keep kissing. Maya: Oh no, I think Xin Eohp is taking over Nick! *hits Phoenix's head* Bring Nick back! Phoenix: Ow, what was that for!? I was just mimicking him! Maya: Whoops, sorry. Edgeworth: This dialogue sounds ridiculously bland. Real people do not talk like robots. Spoiler: Chapter 2 [The lights turn back on.] Edgeworth: This isn't over, is it? Speakers: Nah, there's still one more chapter. I'm giving you all a bathroom break! Maya: One more chapter? But this is so boring! How about a nap break instead? Speakers: No, no nap breaks! And no bathroom breaks either! Geez, is it really so hard to be a manager? Remind us to never have Athena as management again. Maya: Aw, but Athena's so much nicer! She's not an old fart like you. Speakers: ! Maya Fey, what did you just say? Phoenix: Y-Yikes! M-Maya, I don't think you want to…to... Ch-Chief? Mia: *smiles* Hello, Phoenix. *looks around* So, is the fic really that bad again? Edgeworth: No, it's not quite like "Stiff". It's just dull. Phoenix: And dumb. Speakers: …Maya got lucky this time. We're going to hurry along with the fic. For once, we can't wait for a sporking session to be over. Mia: Oh? What's with the management today? Edgeworth: It's best not to listen to them, Ms. Fey. Spoiler: Chapter 3 [The lights turn back on.] Phoenix: It's finally… over? Edgeworth: It appears so. For once, this wasn't too bad. Phoenix: That's because the only thing you did in the whole fic was pat me on the back! Edgeworth: I'm just grateful it's not vore, Wright. Phoenix: Ugh, don't remind me. Maya: Did someone say "vore?" Phoenix: M-Maya! Maya: Hey, Nick! What happened in the rest of the fic? Edgeworth: Wright and Ms. Fey got married and had a baby whom they named Mia. The girl grew up to be a defense attorney. Klavier and Trucy also got married and at the end, Trucy was pregnant with a boy whom they wanted to name Phoenix. Phoenix: There were also a bunch of cheesy lines like "happily ever after." Maya: Gee, what a snore-fest. I'm glad I called Mia! Speakers: About that, you can't get away from us that quickly, Maya! You know that we- [Suddenly there is a loud noise, and the management remains silent.] Maya: Uhh, what happened? [I think Athena switched off the speakers.] Maya: Oh, well looks like I'm not getting yelled at! Phoenix: You're lucky for now, but… Edgeworth: I don't know how long that will last. Maya: Oh well, let's go. Anyone want burgers? My treat! Phoenix: You're going to pay? Maya: Oh Nick, don't be silly! [Phoenix and Maya walk out of the theater arguing, Edgeworth just follows them. Anyway, here ends another fabulous adventure in the sporking theatre! What will the management have up their sleeves next? I don't know, but I clearly heard the word "punishment…" Heh well, it might take a while for that to happen. We hope to see you next time!] |
Author: | luck [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:15 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Good sporking, Skkitlemask. And while we're at translations, I've just got back my laptop and I'm going to translate Imperfect Wish to celebrate it. Spoiler: Tell me if you see something wrong or awkward in the translation, because it's probably my fault (except the commas. Those are like that in the fic.) I'm not going to spork it for now because I've got unexpectedly busy, so if someone wants to take it, be my guest. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:24 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Skittlemask, what's going to happen to Athena? She switched off the speakers without the Management's permission, right...? Hmm... what would make a good punishment sporking for Athena...? |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 8:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Athena vs. the Management was fantastic. And I don't know what a good punishment for Athena would be since she's pretty gung-ho about even the weird fanfiction... maybe unbearably awkward Cykesquill or Justicykes fic? Starting on Turnabout Storm, Part Six presently. Might take a while, since as I mentioned before I haven't watched MLP:FiM in a long time... and I have a job Edit: Okay I need more sleep and my head hurts can somebody please tell me which characters were bronies/into MLP:FiM in the previous parts of Turnabout Storm? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
It was Edgeworth and Pearl. Nick's just been around for all of them because he deserves it. ;) And this may be irregular, but we'd done it before and with permission. I'm dropping by again to introduce some fics that I wrote that I wouldn't mind being sporked: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369 ...especially the latest one in a couple posts after the first. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Was Trucy a fan, too? |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I don't know. I don't think Trucy was brought in for a previous sporking of Turnabout Storm. She might be, though. She'll have so much fun with Pearl and Edgeworth. ...That sounded better in my head. Edit: Scratch that, she appeared once in part 5. But I don't think she reacted all that much. Well, she could always develop into one. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:04 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'm sure there's already a fanfic just like that out there somewhere. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Which fanfic? You mean one of those I wrote? Probably; none of those ideas are especially new, aside from the named-after-a-bus headcanon. I just wanted to come up with something on the spot. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:17 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
No, no, I meant Trucy/Pearl/Edgeworth. I mean, I've actually seen Trucy/Pearl plenty of times, and also Trucy/Edgeworth and Pearl/Edgeworth (thanks, PWKM, I definitely needed to be informed of the existence of those ships). Someone out there's probably written a threesome version... probably... I'll stop thinking about it now, I'm disturbed. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:25 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Ah. Yeah, I'd imagine so, since it's such a long-running gag in this fandom that Nick hangs out with underaged girls in his office all the time. One Edgey was paired up with Kay, then he too was infected by that disease, unfortunately. |
Author: | AireyVerkhovensky [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
There are dozens upon dozens of fics out there that feature Nick being shipped with every single one of his underaged assistants (and Trucy) (and Athena) (and this applies no matter the age, so YES someone out there wrote Phoenix/8-9 y/o!Pearl, I clearly remember it). So what I'm mostly wondering is why no one seems to have written Raymond Shields/Kay? |
Author: | Bramimond [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: I'll do it. Especially since there's Fire Emblem involved. If that's okay. I've never even done a spork before. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:46 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
It might actually be because the fan translation hasn't been out for that long, so those who actually would dare to write it haven't gotten around to it yet. It's why I don't find that many fics with Simon Keyes and Knightley... unless they're in Japanese. That pairing is so popular, it stupefies me. It has stupefied me to the point I don't even know what to say about it. Still, Ray and Kay are one of the more appropriate age-doesn't-matter pairings I could think of. Even their names match somewhat. Ah, that reminds me. I did plan to bring Ray as a sporker in my in-progress sporking, but now I'm confused as to which fic I should be sporking first. Oh! Hey, Bram! If you want some help with a sporking, I'll be glad to. Actually, if you have any questions, feel free to ask away in this thread. |
Author: | Skittlemask [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 11:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: Athena vs. the Management was fantastic. And I don't know what a good punishment for Athena would be since she's pretty gung-ho about even the weird fanfiction... maybe unbearably awkward Cykesquill or Justicykes fic? That's kind of what I was thinking but if I can't find anything ridiculously awkward, I have something else if mind that might work. Though of course, if anyone has some ideas then I would love to hear them. luck wrote: Tell me if you see something wrong or awkward in the translation, because it's probably my fault (except the commas. Those are like that in the fic.) Yeah, when I was translating the Portuguese fic, the author put commas in a lot of weird places which I left in the translation. What's up with that? Anyway, none of the English sounded too awkward, I just wanted to let you know that the word for someone being unconscious/in a deep sleep for a long time is spelled "coma," not "comma." I noticed you did that before, which is why I'm mentioning it. |
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