It was his first night at home in a long time, and Nick wasn’t even able to enjoy it. In fact, he found himself missing his late nights scoffing at the machine he had come to call the “idiot box” and writing his signature thirty times over. At least he didn’t have to think when he was scrawling out his name.
The lawyer was sprawled out on his apartment floor, his blue suit mussed against the shaggy teal carpeting. He was lying on his stomach feeling anti-professional, his lanky legs sticking out awkwardly in all directions. What did his appearance matter if he was alone, anyway?
The evidence was all around him and Nick felt like he was drowning in it. His head was using the already crumpled autopsy report as a pillow, his hand gripping tightly against Isadora’s driver’s license. He had felt certain that he would be able to rip apart Bangle’s testimony with his evidence and the most awful part about it was that he had! The entire case had been torn to shambles and thrown to Phoenix’s feet, the entire court expecting him to pick them up. It was like putting together a puzzle with the wrong picture on the box and he could only find himself cramming the wrong pieces together, begging them to fit.
He jumped, suddenly, at a crash of thunder. So the rain hadn’t been only in his head after all.
Nick rolled over, his hair drooping flat against the cheap, tattered carpet. His eyes couldn’t even tolerate his ceiling, couldn’t believe that he was home. He couldn’t relax now, far from it.
Why do I always get myself into these things… He could blame no one else.
His hands were forced away from his eyes at the sound of a knock at his door. Who the hell was visiting him? Wasn’t it late?
Nick forced himself to stand up, looking around at the mess and deciding to ignore it. With slight irritation he walked to the door, yelling as he went in order to make it sound like he was rushing.
“Give me a goddamned minute.”
The muffled voice he heard reply nearly stopped him dead in his shoes.
“Hurry up! Hurry up, it’s freezing!” Maya sounded urgent and he was shocked. Hadn’t she said she was going back to…
It didn’t matter. His speed suddenly increased and he shoved open the door, fumbling with the knob. After a few tries, he managed to force it open, slowing down just in time to make it look like he hadn’t rushed to see her. The effect was tragically humorous – him quickly trying to smooth down his jacket and stand casually against the door at the same time, resulting in his nearly falling over.
“Er, hi.” Nick wanted to say more than that, wanted to greet her with all the enthusiasm that he was welling back in his chest. If he was less in control of himself he would have run right into her arms.
But that would have been too out of character.
“Wet.” Maya responded, and darted past him and into the living room, shaking off her soaking robes. “You’re an awful, host, Nick.” Her lips pouted and her top-knot drooped to one side, although her eyes danced with laughter.
She was dripping on the floor but she didn’t notice. She only noticed his own mess. “I don’t think you should be leaving the evidence all over the floor like that.”
He put his hand behind his back and fumbled for words. “Eh…about that…”
“That’s unlike you.” Maya shrugged bouncily, looking over at the floor. “You’re always so neat and tidy, Nick.”
Before he could apologize – why was he apologizing? – she interrupted herself. “Unless you’ve got it arranged some way? You have something figured out! That’s why it’s all spread out like that.” The girl nodded her head and beamed at him with the utmost confidence. “You’ve got everything all figured out. I knew you would.”
Shit. Phoenix couldn’t break the truth to her and shrugged, shuffling his feet. “Well I guess it gets me somewhere…” He was only neat compared to Maya, an assistant that several of his companions thought of as a walking tornado.
She had sat herself down on his sofa, her legs folded messily and showing only slightly under her purple robes. It was the only part of her skin that was showing and he tried not to look at it. Instead, he forced eye contact and tried hard not to blush. Why is it so hard to talk to you now? He wanted to interrogate her. Isn’t that why I liked having you around? You were so easy to talk to, even if you were a little strange…
He settled for easier to answer questions. “What are you doing here?”
Maya looked pained for only a moment, then erased the emotion off of her face. “Giving you emotional support. I was going to help you try and gather your thoughts but…” She gestured at the mess on the ground. “You’ve already done it.” Her face lit up in a grin and although Nick knew he deserved no credit at all, he wanted to join in her enthusiasm.
“I, er, thought you were leaving.” He substituted instead, still standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room. Her mood felt entirely shattered as she looked down and mumbled something about the trains not leaving with the heavy rains. Guilt sank down into his stomach. He wasn’t trying to be ungrateful!
“Not that I mind…” He added feebly, but not before she had adopted the same expression on her face that had panged him yesterday. Maya folded her legs up close to her body and stared down at the carpeting.
“I didn’t feel like spending a night at the train station and you’re close.” She clutched to herself and Phoenix only remembered quite how young she was then. The young mystic looked even more like a child now than she usually did. Why can’t you be clinging to me…
“Oh. Well, that’s…”
“I’ll leave tomorrow!” Her feet suddenly hit the ground and she left the couch, a small damp spot remaining from where she had been sitting in soaked clothing. “Tomorrow, Nick, I promise. I would be gone now if it wasn’t for this…this stupid rain…”
“Maya…”
“I’m so sorry.” Her hands buried her face as she tilted without sitting. “I’m so sorry that I failed! I worked so hard just to be able to call….to call my sister…”
“Maya! Please!” His protests fell on deaf ears.
“I know how much Mia meant to you, Nick. You must miss her so much…and you’re right, I’m not good for anything else…”
When have I ever said that? “That isn’t true at all! Where are you coming up with this…”
She was crying. Maya seemed like a pushover sometimes, but she didn’t often cry. “I just annoy you all the time. I know…I’m so sorry I’ve wasted all of your…”
She stopped, suddenly, and swallowed abruptly, the tears seeming to pause right on her face. Her heart beat seemed to slow, nearly to a stop, before speeding up again. “N…Nick?”
Out of desperation he had rushed to hug her. He was half bent over her, with the girl being so small, working almost like a security blanket.
“Stop.” He was making himself not tremble, for her sake. “Stop saying all that. None of its true.”
He wasn’t sure if she had been so touched that she had stopped crying or if she was merely shocked. He had hugged her before…well, she had hugged him at least, at random intervals, but she hugged everyone.
“But…”
“Stop.” He said again, and she finally complied.
“Okay.” Maya whispered, still unsure how to react. The depth of what he had done began to hit him, and he started to dread letting go. It would mean that he would have to look her in the eye again and explain what he had done.
Time froze for a second as the two stood, Maya standing awkwardly as he remained wrapped around her. After a moment, he almost jumped when he felt her hands on his back – she was trying to return the gesture, shakily, and was doing so very slowly as if she was testing the waters. She didn’t realize he was just as confused.
He let go and time took off again at its normal pace. Nick felt dizzy from the rush, but he didn’t want to sit down. He reached for the side of the couch in an attempt to steady himself, nearly crushing his evidence on the floor as he stumbled. Her eyes were on him, he could feel it!
Maya said nothing, waiting, and it was up to him to finish what he had started.
“You’re not useless. Sure, it’s convenient that you can call Mia and when it happens I appreciate it.” He tried to watch his wording carefully, being as honest as possible. “But when I’m up on the stand…If I was by myself, I’d be a mess. I don’t know how Edgeworth and Von Karma can stand up there without any support behind them.”
He shrugged, trying to be casual. “You’re always next to me, and it doesn’t matter if you’re Mia or if you’re…just you. Even if you’re just as clueless as I am, you’re always sure I can do anything.” He flashed a small grin. “And that makes me think I can do anything. I’d die if I had to let you down.”
Maya’s hand had flown to her mouth and she was blushing. She looked away and sat back down on the same wet spot of the sofa. He sat besides her, feeling oddly relaxed.
“But you like…Mia.”
Was that what this was all about? “Mia’s my mentor and always will be. She’s also my friend and she’s bright, so she can see things that I’m too daft to catch on to.” He did agree. “She’s also kind, and pretty, and someone I can confide in.” And dead…
Maya nodded. “She spoke of you very highly before her death. She said you could do anything…” Which was why Maya in turn thought so as well about him, Nick thought.
“But you’re also my friend.” He finished, trying to appear knowledgeable. “You’re a bit crazy sometimes, but if it wasn’t for you some of my cases could have gone unsolved. You’re pretty smart yourself.”
“Pretty lucky, you mean…”
“Either way.” Intelligence and fortune was interchangeable anyway. They both resulted in the same thing. “You’re funny and zany and you keep things light, even if we both know we’re doomed. And if you keep saying there’s a way out…” This speech was growing lamer by the second, and he finished blandly. “There usually is.”
On occasion the truth was really very corny. But at least it was the truth.
“That’s…really sweet.” Maya said, unaffected by his groaning at his own dumb speech. He high-fived himself mentally. Not everyone needs a degree in English to get a point across…
They sat for a moment as if they were waiting for something. Nick knew he had more to say to her, but was it wise? He didn’t want to press his luck even farther and risk butchering what he wanted to say again with his less-than-trustworthy wordsmith abilities. After all the kind words he had just given her, it seemed wrong to finish off the night with a badly timed “I love you” and her being offended and running out the door forever.
“It’s, um, true. I really think that.”
“I know. You’re not a liar, Nick.”
His awkward self was returning and he put his hand behind his head, embarrassed. “So, uh, don’t go back to Kurain Village. I, uh, would rather you be here.”
She blinked, and finally smiled again. He felt his heart rise. “If you say so, then I believe you.” She really did trust everything he said, and he felt bad about lying to her about having the whole case worked out.
“Yeah, well, this is, um, getting silly.” Nick rubbed his hair. “Can we change the subject…”
“Yeah.” Maya sat up, nodding, before plopping down on his couch sideways. She had gotten nearly the whole thing soaked with her heavy, dripping robes. “Did you hear about Edgeworth?”
Nick rolled his eyes in mild interest. “More prosecutor’s drama, I suppose?” He had seen the tabloid crying about Fransizka and Adrian’s “scandalous affair” in a store even before he had received the news that Fransizka had stepped down. “I know he’s going to replace her in this case so if he announced that, it really isn’t much of a surprise…”
“Well, he did make that public too.” Maya agreed. “But you’re right. Everyone knew he was going to do it. So that’s no reason he would make the front page of the news…”
She reached into her robes and pulled out a soaking wet sheet of newsprint. He could see where it had been sticking to her skin and touched it gingerly. “You’re soaked, you know.”
“I’m like a duck in a puddle.” She nodded. “Minus the happy.” Nick looked at her with concern and she stood up. “I’m going to go help myself to your clothing now.”
A few years ago he would have felt violated by the thought of a wet teenage girl rummaging through his drawers. Maya was good at awkward situations and he had grown good at making them less awkward. “Just don’t soak my bed, if you can help it. Throw those robes in the wash...” He was trying too hard to make out the dripping print on the newspaper without bringing it too close to him, still unsure what point exactly Maya was trying to make with the article.
After the spin of the washing machine she entered in time to hear him exclaim, “What the hell is this, a gay parade?”
Maya shrugged, and apart from a few tearstains on her face one could never tell that she had been miserable earlier. “He came out. Told the newspapers. I think he’s really an imitation Edgey and the real one’s been abducted by the alien from the same tabloid.”
“He’s nuts.” Nick said, staring at the article. “He could have just announced he was taking the case. Did he have to throw his personal life in there so the tabloid dogs would have something to chew on…”
“Edgey never does anything without a reason.” She sat down back next to him, and leaned over his shoulder. “Maybe he was trying to comfort Fransizka?”
“Or trying to one-up her. Trying to prove that she was too weak…”
“Mr. Edgeworth isn’t that mean.” Maya frowned. “I thought you two were friends now.”
We are, in a sense. “We don’t despise each other. You saw him, he was helping me on this…” But he shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want to get a head on her. They’re competitive, the two of them.”
“I never would have expected him to be bisexual.” The mystic was rereading the article with interest. “Fransizka, maybe a little. But him, of all people…”
“Having a sexuality implies that he actually cares about someone else besides himself. That’s why you’re so surprised, Maya.”
Maya crossed her arms as Nick dropped the slowly drying article on the ground, watching it blend in to the rest of the mess. “You’re being bitter towards him again.” She chided, sprawling out on the couch again. “He’s not entirely without emotion. He did care enough to try and save me when De Killer took me hostage.”
That was true, unfortunately, and when Nick tried to shrug in denial he received a rugged pillow to the face. “You know you would have never been able to save me without him.”
Nick didn’t comment, and he glared at the newspaper until he realized Maya was in his face.
“…Nick. You aren’t…bothered by this, are you?” He didn’t like the look of delight in her eyes and tried to shake her off.
“Of course it bothers me. It’s so unlike him just to announce…”
“I don’t mean that.” Maya waved her hand and giggled to herself. “I think you don’t like that he’s gay. I think it scares you. Or…”
The lawyer winced.
“Or maybe it intrigues you.” She raised her arm up into the air, beaming like a Cheshire cat. “You’ve known him all your life, after all.”
Nick rolled his eyes at her, but he sensed the conversation was only just beginning. She was a female teenager, after all. Playing this game would delight her to no extent, and he groaned and readied himself to play along as well.
“It’s so perfect! He saved you as a boy from your classmates and you became friends. That moment, when you had no allies to save you and his voice spoke up with a strong objection! Something must have stirred in your heart, Nick, something so strong that you simply can’t ignore it up until this very day…”
“Yes.” Phoenix nodded, looking at her with irritation. “Yes, absolutely. I am in love with Edgeworth and this new revelation has caused me to grow angry with him as a defense mechanism to save my manhood in front of you while deep inside my soul ravages with itself with lust for our dear prosecuting friend.”
His voice was flat and Maya made a face. “Don’t deny it, Nick. Your beginnings are how every single yaoi anime starts. It’s always that one fateful flashback.”
“Gee, Maya, you keep saying this as if I’m lying.” He blinked at her sarcastically. Did she honestly think he was in love with Edgeworth? He was beginning to wonder how far her imagination would hoodwink her.
Maya shrugged and stood up, looking triumphant. “One day, Nick. One day, you will think back to this conversation while snuggling up against Mr. Edgeworth’s arms and think, ‘Boy. Am I really lucky I had such a genius friend like Maya who helped me come to terms with myself in such a wonderful way.’”
“No more hallucinating, please. I’m already confused enough as it is.”
He thought, for a blessed moment, that she was done, as she sat back down calmly. “Fine.” Her nose was up, her shoulders broad. He could see them, finally, as they stuck out from his loose-fitting old t-shirt Maya had selected from his closet. It occurred to him that he had never seen her in anything that wasn’t her channeling robe and he looked at her closely in a discreet way. Nick’s old jeans were far too long for her, the ragged old shirt so large that it almost looked like a badly designed dress. But it was the first time, he noted, that she had ever looked so comfortable.
“You know, I wonder if Mr. Edgeworth had feelings for you all along…”
“That’s it.” Nick jumped up, starting towards her and Maya shrieked and laughed, running over the mess on the floor. The mystic charged around the small study and ducked behind the couch, shocked to see that Nick thought nothing of climbing over it to get at her.
“You crazy…”
He fell over the side, missing her, and she recovered quickly before fleeing into a doorway.
Nick just barely made it to the door before she slammed it and forced himself inside, trying not to laugh as she cried in both horror and delight. Phoenix’s bedroom was small and she had little places to hide. It only took him a moment to have her pinned down against the floor, and she struggled only half-heartedly.
“You’re too fast for me.” She laughed, and he smiled, panting.
“No more Edgeworth jokes.” Nick got up off of her, leaning to one side. “Or I won’t let you off so leniently…”
“Fine.” Maya lay on the ground, her face flushed. It was silent between the two, save the sound of panting and the girl’s occasional giggle.
He finally broke the silence and stood up on his kness, dusting off his suit. It was a rumpled mess now. “Now that we’re acting all professional and all…”
Maya let out a burst of laughter at his remark and sat herself up on her elbows, making her shoulders fall even farther out of Nick’s shirt. “I can remember, Nick.”
“Hmm?”
“I can remember. The last time we had this much fun.” The mystic nodded, her thick black hair raining down over her shoulders. “The last case you solved…the one where you rescued me. We had that celebration after that,”
“The one you gave me the bill for.” He wouldn’t soon forget that.
“Yeah, but, I followed you back here after.” She grinned. “And you just seemed so happy to see me.”
Nick blushed, and she continued. “You’re always going don’t do this, Maya, don’t do that. It makes me wonder if I just bother you…and if you only keep me around for my sister…”
Not this again. “We’ve gone over this. You’re my friend.” He shrugged again and looked away from her. “You just tend to stray to doing the ridiculous sometimes. Or saying the most random things. Or touching crucial evidence and watching it fall to the ground in pieces…”
The girl quickly changed the subject. “Either way. That was the first time when you really seemed like you were happy around me. I mean, really happy. And it wasn’t because of anything else – it was just because I was back.”
Nick couldn’t look up. You have no idea…
She folded her hands. “You’re my closest friend outside of Kurain Village, Nick, and I like you no matter how much you yell at me or roll your eyes.” She did?
The carpet was fascinating, he tried to tell himself.
“But I think I like you the best when you’re like this.”
He was quiet for a minute, studying the floor. She tilted her head and looked at him, growing just as nervous as she had when he first had to comfort her that evening. “Did I…say something?”
It would be impossible to keep quiet any longer. He felt like an involuntarily dormant volcano.
“Maya, you’re wrong.”
Her face flushed and she looked down, fearing the worse. Nick barely moved, although he was shaking inside.
“You say that…that was the only other time that I was genuinely happy to see you.” He hated stumbling over his words, and he had to stop and make sure what he had just said had come out right.
“Yes…”
“You’re wrong.” Finally, he looked up at her, his blue eyes quivering. She leaned back, nervous, and shook her head.
“It was one of many times where seeing you…and only seeing you…made me the happiest person alive.”
Did that come out okay? It felt so awkward, just blurting something so silly out. Maya’s face looked as if her head was malfunctioning.
She was puzzled, unsure, in denial, perhaps? “What do you…what do you mean?”
Well, he had never been any good with words.
Nick was sure, in retrospect, that Maya had never been kissed before. Her reaction was at first stunned, giving him time to lean in more. After a moment, she responded much like she had with his hug some time ago – nervously and unsure what to do.
He only broke apart when he couldn’t breathe anymore. He would have kept his lips against hers for much, much longer if he could, even if only in order to not see her reaction.
Maya seemed like a child. All of the color had left her face, and she was staring at the ground, seeming nearly mournful.
Too much…
He had just ruined his chances. He had just ruined his friendship with her…
“Maya?”
After some time – too long of a time – she spoke.
“I think a simple hug was what I was expecting.” Her soft voice whispered, barely audible. “Even just a joke, or…”
“Then forget it happened.” Phoenix interrupted her, shaking. “I don’t know what I was thinking. We’ll just go on and pretend that tonight didn’t…”
“Happen.” She finished, looking at him with the oddest expression.
“…Yeah.”
Nick stood up and shoved his hair out of his eyes, heading for the door. She was too young, too innocent! What had he done? Maya was his dear friend and much too close to be anything more.
He heard her stand up behind him.
“As long as we’re…forgetting tonight…” Her voice hit his years and he turned around. The mystic was right behind him.
“If we’re not going to remember any of this, anyways…why do we have to only stop here?”
He barely had time to react when she leaned into him, trying to imitate what he had just done to her. Nick had nearly no experience himself, but anything compared to his sheltered assistant was a wealth of knowledge.
Only as long as it would be forgotten in the morning…
It was the first time Nick had ever felt in control of the situation. Maya knew next to nothing and she was awed at everything he showed her and how gentle he could be.
He didn’t know how gentle he could be. He couldn’t bear to hurt a child…
The dawn struck through the window only a few hours later, illuminating unwanted light on the narrow bed. Sometime in the night it had stopped raining, and the sun was making up for lost time. It was unwanted.
Maya leaned into him, still fully clothed. The night hadn’t gone in the direction that either of them had predicted, but it was probably better this way. At least he didn’t feel like a rapist, and now they could still pretend to be friends.
They had stopped physical contact about an hour and a half after they had started, and Nick found himself preferring her just pressed against him. Her head was leaned against the side of his neck, tucked in against his shoulder neatly. His arm was holding her body against his chest, and he could look beyond her cheek into her lustrous black hair.
It would be perfect if he couldn’t see the clock.
“I have to be…I have to be at the courthouse in an hour.” It was the first thing he had said in a long time. Nick rolled over, still in his suit, and frowned at his mussy state. “I’m…I’m going to change now, I think.”
Maya hardly moved, only rolling to accommodate his position where he had left. “Okay.” He forgot how young she sounded and his chest panged with some guilt. “I’ll leave so you can do that…”
He shrugged and reached for his closet. It doesn’t really matter if you stick around or not. After all of that…bonding… “You can stay, if you want.”
The girl rubbed her gentle eyes with some exhaustion and shook her head. “I’m sure the wash should be done, by now, so I should change. You should get your privacy.”
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