Okay, I've been writing a fan fic around the Ace Attorney games. This is what I have so far. It isn't brilliant but Im hoping you will like it. If you have any ideas about how I can improve it or you have any questions please speak out. I strive to get better and I'd love to answer questions. I apoligise in advance for any mistakes I may have made...

Title: A Broken Prosecutor
Author: Luke Cornwell (The Xs)
Status: Not finished
Summary: A prosecutor thinks about his life around the courtroom.


The Court of Justice. The place where a number of arguments and theories are put together by people who want to see justice dealt in their own way. People see it as a fascinating place. Personally after the many cries of ‘Objection’ from the defence, the lies, the false testimonies and having to deal with the guilt of ruining a persons future, it grows a little tiresome.
My name is Luke Cornwell and nowadays I’m in court to give people the justice that they deserve. I’ve been described in the papers as a “Passionate Prosecutor.” I'm asuming this is because I fight to the sheer end if I believe my client is guilty. In court usually wear a black jacket over a white dress shirt and a black tie with black dress pants. I have long black curling hair which I tie in a ponytail, blue shining eyes and a flattish nose. Yes I look like a fool. But enough on my poor looks…
Although I spend my time now in the right side of the court, I have also sat in the defendants chair, and I think that’s where I will start to tell you my story. Let me take you back, to all those years ago… When I was a young teenager. Angry and heart broken.


Chapter 1: Killing Jack Hallows.

September 15th, 2011.
I remember the waves crashing near us, shone up by the moonlight.
“Man it’s not like that.” He said, pleading to me.
I took a step forwards. He backed off towards the cliff edge.
“Come on Jack it’s exactly like that!” I shouted. “Man steals his best friends girl but hasn‘t got any money. So what does he do? He steals his friends money too!”
I remember the urge to kill him. Our silhouettes reflected in that blue sea.
“I needed the cash though!”
My knife reflected in that blue sea.
“Needed it? For what? Buying the ring for the finger of her beautiful hand?! Sorry Mate. Make sure to say hello to my dad in hell!” That’s when I stopped. The knife was touching his chest. He was shuddering with fear. One hard push and all this would be over. But I couldn’t do it. He may have hurt me but he was still my friend. I put the knife away and started the walk home.
*BANG*
I felt a blow to the head and I collapsed to the floor.

I woke up to see something fall into that blue sea. I had a terrible pain in my head. I was dizzy and confused. I got up, turned slowly and there she was. The goddess who had started it all. Samantha Edwards. Her long brown hair, blew in the wind, free from her head almost. Her emerald eyes, stared at me, surprised. She always looked cute when she was surprised She was most beautiful girl I have ever met. But that thing Jack had bought on her finger sickened me. I tried to smile at her but I have always had a hard time smiling. But eventually I did and when I did she did the same. But it wasn’t kind and welcoming. It scared me. I didn’t know it then but I would see many a person smile that way in the future. It was sinister and cold. And then she screamed. A horrible scream which pierced my eardrums and made my spine shiver. She ran away shouting for the police. I being a young fool didn’t know what was going on. And then I looked down at my feet. A knife was there, my knife with blood on it. I picked it up idiotically and at the worst possible time.
“FREEZE PAL!” A big, threatening looking officer bellowed at me, gun drawn and pointed at me. I did as he asked and put my hands up instantly. That’s when I realised it.
“No.. No! It’s not what it looks like! I didn‘t…”
“Nobody has said you’ve done anything pal. Just put the knife down.” He said quieter then he had first been. Once again I obeyed, that’s when he put charged at me, put me in handcuffs and read me my rights.
I didn’t know what happened nor who did it, but I knew one thing.
That night I went with the intention to kill Jack Hallows.
But I didn’t.
* * * *
It wasn’t long before I found myself in a cop car with that officer. I may have been foolish but I knew I was going to a police station. He didn’t say much to comfort me, maybe that’s because I didn‘t look like I wanted to be comforted. It felt like a long time but eventually after that dreary and silent journey we made it. I was oddly co-operative for me, as usually I would have been taken kicking and screaming but I was quiet and did what was expected of me. We entered the station and the officer took me to the reception. Across a big wooden desk a young lady, wearing a police uniform with 2 stripes writing on some papers. I forget what rank that is. She looked up and smiled at the officer. I guess after working behind there for a while you get used to a lot of rapists, murderers and thieves walking past.
“Hello Dick” She said cheerfully. Apparently the officer’s name was Dick. “Who have you got for me today?”
“Hey Cindy.” He replied “This is a guy I found at the Cliffside murder that was reported. He had a bloody knife in his hand. I convinced him to drop it.”
“Good work! That’s got to get you a promotion to Detective!”
“Well I gotta pass the exams first pal!” He smirked. I looked at the receptionist and then “Dick” with an evil eye. A suspected murderer had just been brought in and she was gossiping. How unprofessional!
“Anyway let’s get you sorted then shall we?” She chirped to me as she reached for some papers. “What’s your full name?” She asked. I hesitated a moment before answering.
“Luke, Ian Cornwell” I said coldly.
“Age?”
“16”
“Okay so a white Caucasian male, named Luke has been arrested for murdering an unknown victim with no clear motive?”
“Actually Cindy” Dick interrupted. “A witness says that the victim was another 16 year old named Jake Hallows. Apparently he was cheating with this guy’s girlfriend. She will be coming soon with Marshal I think.”
“Your going to get that shield easy Dick.” She said, with a big grin to Dick. “Alright your sorted Luke.” She was speaking to me as if I was signing up to a fun run! “Officer Gumshoe you should take his pictures and then take him to wait in the interview room for Goodman and Star.”
“Yes mam!” Dick said with his booming voice. He lead the way to a room after he handed me a number, just like the movies. I looked at the camera trying not to show emotion. The flashes blinded me, even when I looked to the side.
“Alright Pal that’s that” Dick said with a smile. I didn‘t smile back. He lead me to the interview room. It had a table and 3 chairs, 2 on one side, one on the other. A big mirror that was obviously a one way window was behind the table. How stereotypical of a police station. I sat down, without being asked on the single chair. Dick looked at me as if he was trying to say something. I started to drum my fingers. I’m told I do that when I’m nervous.
“Pal… I know how you feel.” Dick suddenly blurted out with. “I’ve been cheated on too. It ain’t a good feeling.”
“Yeah…” I replied bluntly, not even looking at him still drumming my fingers. “Your break-up end with you being accused with murder?”
“No but…” It looked like I stumped him. “ Alright I haven‘t got a faint idea what it feels like for you.” I could see the officer was trying to cheer me up. Maybe he saw himself in the quiet teen he was looking at. Or maybe he was trying to kill some time. Either way I felt as if he thought I was innocent and I appreciated what he was doing.
“Anyway so pal yo-”
“That will be all Officer Gumshoe.” A charming female voice demanded. I looked at the doorway of the room to see a young blonde woman walk in with a big grin on her face. You could tell she was strong by the way her face and body looked. They seemed to scream for respect but it was her green eyes, looking into mine which dominated my attention. They made me want to confess how I’d pushed a young boy over in my 2nd grade. I’ll admit it, I liked her. I’ve always liked women stronger then me.
“ D-Detective Star!” Dick stuttered. His paniced voice would have made me laugh if I wasn’t faced with charges of murder. “I thought Detective Goodman was coming.”
“He’s coming later Dick.” The woman said not even looking at him, still focused on me. “I want to speak to the young Mr Cornwell alone first.”
“Yes sir” Dick barked like a little dog. “Good luck pal!” He said as he walked out the room.
“Right then Luke. Let’s have a little chat you and I…”

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*Looks at the tumbleweeds flying around the topic.* Anyone want to comment?
Maybe a bit rushed. I am striving to improve so please comment and also I need a prosecutor to do the trial. Anyone's fan characters fancy it?

Chapter 2: The heinrich manoeuvre

The room’s tone became sadder to me as the bumbling officer left the room. I hate to admit it but at that time he was my only true ally in the world. That was because Jack, my best… hell I’ll admit it, my only friend had been murdered after cheating on my supposed girlfriend, who had just framed me for his murder. It was another time in my life, that I had been betrayed by people I thought I could trust, and be left for dead.
“It’s been a while, Mr Cornwell.” She eventually said. “I should re-introduce myself.” Star said, smiling. “My name is Angel Star. I am a detective, who is known for my skill in interrogation.” What she was saying was all too familiar.
“I am good at what I do and I will make sure that you spit your confession out.” She spoke quickly, and in a way that showed to me, she was certain I was guilty. After the legacy the Cornwell name made there, I thought every cop would spit when they said it.
“Don’t I get a right to an attorney?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“When the interview begins yes.” She told me. “But this is just a little chat beforehand.” Another ‘little chat’. Ms Star’s starting technique. Like a Heinrich manoeuvre. She tries to force to truth stuck in the persons throat. I’ve known of some suspects and witnesses break at even this point. Starting her ‘little chat’ was reminding me of terrible memories. I couldn’t take much more without breaking.
“What if I don’t feel like talking?”
“Then you can listen. I am not going to let you get away with this. I know you did it. I know what your kind are like. Your just lik-”
“JUST LIKE MY FATHER!? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY!?” I bellowed at her. I‘d lost it. I couldn’t keep to the calm character I was trying to play myself as. This was all too much for me, and I felt myself going red with rage. Detective Star however didn’t even flinch. She just kept staring into me, still smiling, still looking as if she was trying to find something inside me.
There was a brief pause. I breathed heavily, trying to calm down. She hadn’t changed her expression, despite my outburst…
“I was going to say ‘any other killer’ but we can use your example. Yes like your father Luke. Except for one thing. You are going to be found guilty.”
“Because you honestly and truly believe I did it or because of what my surname is?” Her smile faded and she looked away from me. My father was a difficult subject for a lot of people. He hurt so many innocent people and saved so many evil people. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that that’s where the root of this biased judgement was.
“What I don’t understand Star is why are you taking your hate on me. It’s been 3 years. And Sean is d-”
“I think we’ve spoken enough.” Angel butted in. “You wouldn’t understand at your age, even if you are Chloe and Sean’s son.” Star got up slowly of her chair. It was bad that I had seen Star here again, that she had me in this vulnerable position. She could lie and cheat with my case, and not one defence attorney would dare step up and save me. Her hate for me was well deserved though. She had her hand on the door handle.
“I miss her too Angel” I said.
She didn’t even look at me. She just quickly opened the door and left. This was bad. Not one question about the case. So she was going to present it just as it looked. I may have been a Cornwell but I had no training in law. I couldn’t defend myself. And who would dare defend my case? I felt sick. I stood up, put my hands on the back of my head and started pacing around the room.
“Hey pal, hope I‘m not interrupting.” The bumbling officer Gumshoe said, opening the door. I stopped pacing and put my hands in my jean pockets. “You’ve got a visitor.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“See for yourself Luke.” Another familiar voice said. I looked up to see a long, black haired man, middle aged. He was wearing a grey suit, like his small eyes and he was staring at me. Robert Hammond. The selfish, arrogant son of a bitch attorney was here for only one thing and as I feared his first words were.
“Looks like you need help Cornwell.”

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I think you've got a good start here. The plot is interesting so far and I'm pleased to see some canon characters mixed into the story particularly the less used ones like Angel and Bruce. There are some grammar issues within the story (missing and misused punctuation as well as some unnecessary repetition for example). One thing in particular that got to me was things like "I woke up to see something fall into that blue sea. I had a terrible pain in my head. I was dizzy and confused. I got up, turned slowly and there she was." The repetition of "I" at the beginning of each sentence leads to a rather boring format for the story so even if the story itself is fine that kind of structure will count against you. Not to mention that it interferes with the story's flow. You may wish to try to smooth out your writing a bit and something else to remember is to never end in a preposition if you can help it (I know it's hard to avoid at times and I'm guilty of that vice more often then I care to admit, but it's good to know that kind of thing so you can attempt to avoid it). And my last correction is a rather silly one. Angel's last name is "Starr" and not "Star" (and yes I double checked my information on CR's character page :) ). Otherwise, nice work and try not to feel discouraged by lack of reviews. From my own experience, it often seems like it's hit or miss with readers whether or not they actually review, but I have no idea why.

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*Hugs for replying* Thanks Mia. Everything you said about it made sence. Im hoping you'll see an improvement in it. (and Im hoping those who may have read it but didn't reply will too.)

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