Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
ハナ
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Dr Phillips: - He's wrong. The most important thing is to answer the question.
Wise words there.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bronze Samurai
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(me): There's a graveyard across the street there.
(teacher): Do you know how many people are dead in there? No, how many? ALL OF THEM!
Julia...<3
Related to NaturallyLazy, fatalfeline, JadeRoach, and Game Over!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
NOW TAKE IT TO THE LAUNCH PAD!
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Teacher
Annoying kid who thinks he's the greatest kid ever blah blah blah... Now, I spent a very long time writing this letter... But sir? It's so short, look at it! ...Bit like your hair, [name].XD The kid had a haircut the day before, so it was pretty amusing.
And this was when he had to go get our reports...
Everyone Okay, I finally have them! :D
Your attendance sheets! *Head desk and various yells*Aaaand finally, my Chemistry teacher walked in on one of our Physic lessons...
Chemistry Teacher
KidI can't remember much, but our teacher winked at one pupil, walked out of the room and it went from there...
Ooh, sir was giving you a bit of a sexy wink there, eh? *Walks back in* You keep my sexy winks out of this. *Walks out* *Laughter*
Art by the talented Vickinator, thank you! ^_^
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Spoiler:
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Pedo teacher (Mr.Mullins)This is based on rumors and gossip, so may not be true.
*Mr.Mullins drops his pen*
: Hey, can you pick up my pen for me?*Girl bends over to pick up the pen*
Note: She was wearing a skirt.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Fan of TV show, The Mentalist
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-stats teacher "If you bomb this test, I will hate you and MAKE SURE YOU FAIL!"
-psychology teacher (one of the best teachers ever, and is hilarious btw)
- really funny kid in class
-me (we were discussing about relationships and love, and emotions, and stuff...)
-"Guys want sex first, and then-" -"Sex later!" -*laughs* "I'm beginning to think that he's a pervert."(different day, same discussion, and how he enjoys making us uncomfortable when we talk about this)
-"I want to make you edgy!" - 
and 
Klavier Gavin: "Why not wait for him to knock-knock-knock on heaven's door?..."
Klavier+ Guns 'N Roses quote=WIN!
Patrick Jane (from The Mentalist): "The truth. Darth Vader, Luke's father."
Klavier+ Guns 'N Roses quote=WIN!
Patrick Jane (from The Mentalist): "The truth. Darth Vader, Luke's father."
Last edited by Mackers on Tue Apr 07, 2009 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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- Teacher - Student : blah blah blah blah blah... (I was on the other side of the room so I didn't hear, but she was telling a story) : Maya? : Yes? : We don't care!
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Your Heresy Will Stay Your Feet
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(That one wasn't really funny, but that was funny in my opinion)
Also...
My Algebra II Teacher: So where do you want me to go?
My friend: Move to the left.
My Algebra II Teacher: Where? My left?
My friend: No, your other left.
My Algebra II Teacher: Go out the window?
My friend: No, go to your car.
My Algebra II Teacher: Ah, okay! You scared me for a second. I thought that I was supposed to jump out of the window.
Repede wrote:
Yes, I'm a dog that smokes a pipe and owns an Xbox Live account... So what?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
hoot hoot
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English teacher 
Kid in my classBackstory: I'm not quite clear on how he did it, but the kid somehow burned his hand during lunch doing something stupid because he thought it would be cool. -_- smart kid. (and yes he actually meant to burn his hand, no he's not emo.)
*yells out the window* Why are you shouting out the window? He told me to. *points at other kid* If someone told you to burn the flesh off your hand would- Oh ya you would.And another time:
blahblahblah *name* shut up. Hey. Don't tell her to shut up. *name* shut up.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
hoot hoot
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Apollo72 wrote:
Why do you use the smiley for the kid that gets picked on?! 
smiley for the kid that gets picked on?! Me or people in general?
For me it's just cause he looks like him.
edit: I take things too seriously. -_-
Last edited by foxxis on Thu Feb 12, 2009 3:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SRSLY!!
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= class = teacher :*talking*You know, Jason, my offer to take you to my house is still open.(she said this because Jason is absent/late. A LOT.) You'd be able to come to school on time every morning. *laughs*
DeKiller is evil. TO THE MAX.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
No avi/sig ideas, deal with Koharu.
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"When you drink water, you are happy. When you drink hydrogen peroxide, it burns and you die."
Formerly known as ScentOfFreshLemon
Last edited by Darling Dream on Fri Feb 13, 2009 4:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Mouth of Sauron
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Keep in mind, he has no idea that there could be negative connotations to any of these sayings:
"Back 50 years ago, Mexicans didn't exist"
"Just think about it guys! My erect penis, it's in your mouth! My erect penis, it's in your rectum! Sexual Diseases! Bad things!"
"The Mexicans, they have a strong family foundation! Not like us honkeys! We need a six-pack to loosen up! We can't express ourselves properly, not like the blacks and the Mexicans!"
"That's what happens when you're a honkey overly dependent on your girlfriend! You just go home, you have to unload, so you just start dumping everything all over her chest! And she can go off to her friends and start dumping all over them, and everyone's dumping all over each other, and it all gets bottled in, because us honkeys can't have friends! Not without a six-pack"
"Barack Obama! He's the greatest thing that's ever happened to this country! I need Barack Obama! I need someone like him! He. Is. My. Idol!"
And many many many many more.
Beat it, I dare you.
Gozu wrote:
omg ur just lik
did ur parents di or somefin
did ur parents di or somefin
icer wrote:
Trucy: [Daddy was fired from legal clerk for loitering] Daddy has a fun new job as a street sweeper!
Phoenix: Guess what Apollo, today I swept up some EVIDENCE! ....
Phoenix: Guess what Apollo, today I swept up some EVIDENCE! ....
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bronze Samurai
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Emperor Ing wrote:
All right, I see a lot of not funny, let's see if I can't beat them all with my senile (white) religion teacher.
Keep in mind, he has no idea that there could be negative connotations to any of these sayings:
"Back 50 years ago, Mexicans didn't exist"
"Just think about it guys! My erect penis, it's in your mouth! My erect penis, it's in your rectum! Sexual Diseases! Bad things!"
"The Mexicans, they have a strong family foundation! Not like us honkeys! We need a six-pack to loosen up! We can't express ourselves properly, not like the blacks and the Mexicans!"
"That's what happens when you're a honkey overly dependent on your girlfriend! You just go home, you have to unload, so you just start dumping everything all over her chest! And she can go off to her friends and start dumping all over them, and everyone's dumping all over each other, and it all gets bottled in, because us honkeys can't have friends! Not without a six-pack"
"Barack Obama! He's the greatest thing that's ever happened to this country! I need Barack Obama! I need someone like him! He. Is. My. Idol!"
And many many many many more.
Beat it, I dare you.
Keep in mind, he has no idea that there could be negative connotations to any of these sayings:
"Back 50 years ago, Mexicans didn't exist"
"Just think about it guys! My erect penis, it's in your mouth! My erect penis, it's in your rectum! Sexual Diseases! Bad things!"
"The Mexicans, they have a strong family foundation! Not like us honkeys! We need a six-pack to loosen up! We can't express ourselves properly, not like the blacks and the Mexicans!"
"That's what happens when you're a honkey overly dependent on your girlfriend! You just go home, you have to unload, so you just start dumping everything all over her chest! And she can go off to her friends and start dumping all over them, and everyone's dumping all over each other, and it all gets bottled in, because us honkeys can't have friends! Not without a six-pack"
"Barack Obama! He's the greatest thing that's ever happened to this country! I need Barack Obama! I need someone like him! He. Is. My. Idol!"
And many many many many more.
Beat it, I dare you.
I only found the Obama one funny. The penis one was OK, I guess.
Julia...<3Related to NaturallyLazy, fatalfeline, JadeRoach, and Game Over!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Mouth of Sauron
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Gozu wrote:
omg ur just lik
did ur parents di or somefin
did ur parents di or somefin
icer wrote:
Trucy: [Daddy was fired from legal clerk for loitering] Daddy has a fun new job as a street sweeper!
Phoenix: Guess what Apollo, today I swept up some EVIDENCE! ....
Phoenix: Guess what Apollo, today I swept up some EVIDENCE! ....
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bronze Samurai
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Emperor Ing wrote:
I just find the extreme racism and lack of knowledge to be pretty funny.
Oh, the racism part was funny, but the post overall isn't too much above anyone elses.
Which leads me to think that while the concept of this title is good, none of the jokes, which make sense to you, don't seem as funny out of context no matter how you try to explain it. It may be just me, but I felt like pointing that out.
Julia...<3Related to NaturallyLazy, fatalfeline, JadeRoach, and Game Over!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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There's this teacher I have who I've heard a lot about last year... And this lot was entirely made of, say, sexuality related supiciousness.
And then, much to my dismay given said rumours, at our second class, he was in the class before everyone else... Putting cocoa butter on. And it looked like baton.
And it didn't help he had a pink shirt on.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ace delivery boy
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"You insert the blue cable into the B hole, and the red cable into the A hole... I probably shouldn't say A hole, should I?"
Emperor Ing wrote:
"... just start dumping everything all over her chest!... andeveryone's dumping all over each other..."
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
<3 <3 <3
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My male teacher said 'you go, girl' in a very serious voice.
-snerk-
I have better ones that are just going over my head.
EDIT: My ex-chorus teacher. xD Got fired, but they lied to us about it. He'd worked there for 25 years, too...and he was only 50. Best choral teacher I ever had.
-- Boys! Leave each other alone! Girls! Stop touching yourselves! (after finding a floaty noodle for swimming) I get to see your parents tonight [it was parent's night]. -puts it in a horseshoe shape around his neck- AND I'M GONNA BE A HORSIE THAT WINS A PRIZE. -borrows my Domo-kun plushie and turns it on its side- NOW BOILS AND GOYLES. This is what your mouth position should be like. -turns back upright- Not this. -turns again- Like this. -keeps it on the piano for the rest of the period-He also called people divas, and any time he wanted to make a rude commentary, he'd say something like "You kids are getting on my nerves...is a book I was reading last night..." He'd say 'Santa' or something and then make a joke about not being allowed to say it. Also, he'd yell into the hallway and pretend he was actually talking to other people. It was usually our principal who was "in" the hallway.
Igiari! 2025 is a brand new literate Phoenix Wright roleplay forum, aking place on a retconned timeline with characters from PW and AJ. We need YOU!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Mouth of Sauron
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Phoenix_Apollo wrote:
Emperor Ing wrote:
I just find the extreme racism and lack of knowledge to be pretty funny.
Oh, the racism part was funny, but the post overall isn't too much above anyone elses.
Which leads me to think that while the concept of this title is good, none of the jokes, which make sense to you, don't seem as funny out of context no matter how you try to explain it. It may be just me, but I felt like pointing that out.
This is true.
Really, these things are only funny to those that have been there.
Gozu wrote:
omg ur just lik
did ur parents di or somefin
did ur parents di or somefin
icer wrote:
Trucy: [Daddy was fired from legal clerk for loitering] Daddy has a fun new job as a street sweeper!
Phoenix: Guess what Apollo, today I swept up some EVIDENCE! ....
Phoenix: Guess what Apollo, today I swept up some EVIDENCE! ....
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Good 'til the last drop.
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You know, when you eat something, your saliva partially digests it, and then as it proceeds through your body, it eventually becomes poop. So when you eat before playing your instrument, you spit partially-digested food into it. And it becomes poop. So think about that. Poop doesn't belong in a trumpet.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
No avi/sig ideas, deal with Koharu.
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Today in art.
Art teacher This one chick xD
Her friendWe're currently working on wire sculptures, and
pulls one of the wires out of her bag. What the--why was that in your backpack? Uhhh, told me we could take them home. Why would you listen to when it comes to anything academically?!The whole class lol'd.
Formerly known as ScentOfFreshLemon
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Anything from the shop? Cornetto.
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He said "Could you stop fisting the ball"
LOLOLOLZ
Why must you insist on killing my mother over and over again? ~Irving Onegin
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
You've been hit by, a smooth prosecutor
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Burninator wrote:
Sub Band teacher today:
You know, when you eat something, your saliva partially digests it, and then as it proceeds through your body, it eventually becomes poop. So when you eat before playing your instrument, you spit partially-digested food into it. And it becomes poop. So think about that. Poop doesn't belong in a trumpet.
You know, when you eat something, your saliva partially digests it, and then as it proceeds through your body, it eventually becomes poop. So when you eat before playing your instrument, you spit partially-digested food into it. And it becomes poop. So think about that. Poop doesn't belong in a trumpet.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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My AP Euro teacher, a Nam Vet, is beyond amazing.
*teach calls on kid for answer*
*kid gives wrong answer*
Bite on your tongue really hard, I want to see blood.OR
Why don't you kids all go play on the freeway?Occasionally:
Don't open the closet, I have the AKs in there under the marijuana.And he signed my friend's yearbook: "I wish you all the luck of the passengers of the Titanic on its maiden voyage!"
K, so I was babbling about Zelda to the kid next to me during homeroom, and my AP US teacher, a woman who can't be over twenty five and who always wears makeup/does her hair nice/wears nice clothes, etc, hears me talking. And says.
(her)
"I just got Phantom Hourglass for my DS a few months ago, and I've been playing it."(me)
"What." *laughs* "Yeah, it's really embarrasing. Right now I'm on the part where you have to find the metals to rebuild the phantom sword." "WHAT." "Am I close to the end yet? The games gone on for awhile."
"...Halfway, I think." "It's stupid, my brothers had a SNES [used the abbreviation too] and I used to play Link's Awakening on it." *recovering* "Soooooo... What did you think about having to replay the temple of the Ocean King OVER AND OVER again? *wince* 
"Hey, but once you get the Phantom Sword, you can kill the Phantoms so it gets tons better. OMGWAIT, have you played Ocarina of Time?"" No, I haven't played Zelda since the SNES. Phantom Hourglass is my first new one. If you like Phantom Hourglass, I recommend getting Windwaker. It's the game set before Hourglass, where you get to see how Link meets Tetra and becomes a hero and stuff. It's the same art style and everything, really good gameplay and not too long." "Really?" "Ocarina of Time is the best game for the Zelda series, though." "Wait, hold on, I need a pen to write this down with... 'Wind Waker', you said?"So, about a week ago she told me she hit up gamestop and got WW and the gamecube version of OoT. Then I told her about the glory of Phoenix Wright. :D
Weirdest conversation I've ever had with a teacher. It was made all the better by the rest of the (non-gaming) class staring at us the whole time going "WTF"? And then she laughed awkwardly and told me not to tell anyone about our conversation. xD
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Slugkid. Seriously!
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Ok, here's one, on my birthday, just to be messy, I asked the teacher if we were going to talk about raptors, but she said that if we had time we would(Then we never spoke about raptors ever. Meanie teacher.)
Then, last year, we had a pretty cool teacher, but since she left so much homework, all the other kids hated her or something.
Teach:*After finishing explaining*Any questions?
Me: *Raises hand*
T:Yes, Slugkid(She said my real name, but I won't post it)?
Me:How many puppies do you eat a day?
T: I don't any puppies, any other question?
It was something under the lines of that, seriously. With the same teacher:
T:Okay, kids, your minidictionaries
Me: But, miss, the minidictionary is poop!
T: Yes, but it comes with the book...
The minidictionary actually sucked a lot, it didn't have a lot of elementary words...
There have been others, and there's also my compostitions which don't make ANY sense. Writing about the disadvantages of cellphones-"Blah blah, and waste time they could use to be cooler! Like studying salsa. Salsa's cool!" The teacher(Another teacher) Underlined it, and put something like "Try to be formal"-
It was the end of the year test, actually. That's why I love English class, I can do whatever I want, but I'll still pass. Just because.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Need a sig etc. Click the sig ^-~
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Friend Friends best friend (also my friend)
TeacherOUTSIDE CLASS
wish I could sit near my best friend Yeh, I wish you could at the front with me...IN CLASS
blabla learn balbla french blablablabla *not listening to teacher* You! Yes? Your not listening No Hmm, maybe you should sit at the front, you probably feel gnored and rejected at the back right? Maybe you should sit here, <- *points at her seat* Yes, I am very rejected, and ignored I should move to the front Yay you can sit with me ... :D Actually I leave you at the ack to be ignored and rejected
Thanks Christie so much for Pearl which I adopted from her :3 Yay Christie
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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(teachers) Students Monomial and binomial held hands and got together, but then, something happened! Binomial's mom was coming over!Then they all held hands and became a trinomial!
Walk there quietly or I'll bang you from the snackbar! (was supposed to say ban)
Guys, we have an announcement to make. Ms. C and I are no longer your dean and AP, we're switching over to another grade YAAY! APRIL FOOLS!I bet they're gonna do it again this year..
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
AKA Dr. Bokchoy
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Said to this stupid dude Zach after he asked if our Communications Technology class was going to Russia.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Anything from the shop? Cornetto.
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Why must you insist on killing my mother over and over again? ~Irving Onegin
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Wait... what?
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THOMASNATOR wrote:
monominal binominal... so zetta slow...
SOHCAHTOA!
My real name is Adrie, so yes, I did make this.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Sage goes in all fields.
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"EVERYONE'S gay!"
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Sig made by Vicki, Avi made by PA :D
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= Writing Seminar prof.One of the students drew a stick figure of my professor on the chalk board one day. The stick figure had, umm, a few female sex organs.
There's a picture of me on the board with breasts and a vagina. Or maybe that's not me. Maybe that's a woman who has the same name as me who has breasts and a vagina. And a coffee cup... I'm feeling sassy!When he was showing the class a picture of his two dogs:
This one's the male and this one's the female. You can tell that the female is the evil one because she's humping the male from behind.And one more:
I fucking hate nature and I fucking hate hippies.And my Sociology prof =
(when a student brings up a cool event that's going to happen on campus) Far-fucking-out!!and
How come nobody stops me whenever I keep talking after class has ended? Just say, "Goddammit [prof's name], shut up!!I love my college so much :D
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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I do remember one from fifth grade though, my fifth grade science teacher (I'm in high school now):
[The teacher was discussing our science project]
Kid: So, um, what if we haven't started our project yet...?
Teacher: Well, you can do it next year, when you're in fifth grade!
Also, my geography teacher... "I'm very close to shooting you right now." Among other phrases. XD
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
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he said they were having a barbecue thing at his school (I live in Australia :p ) and you had to wash your hands with soap (the liquid one in a bottle) and someone got some on the ground infront of him. Then a teacher saw and said "what is that?" and he said "soap" and then the teacher said "It better be soap".
Crude reference intended.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Erm... I plead the fifth?
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~
Science teacher-Celes, stop drawing razors on your observations notebook!
Me-But they're not JUST razors, Mr. Puckett, they're SWEENEY TODD'S razors!
Science Teacher-Is that so? Well then, you can stay after class, Mrs. Lovett!
(Priceless...)
~
Spanish Teacher-Celes, please stop drawing in your notebook.
Me-OBJECTION! Oh wait... PROTESTO!
Spanish Teacher-You go to the principal's office RIGHT NOW.
(At the principal's office)
Jarod(principal)-What did you do this time Celes?
Me: Objected in class again...
Jarod: Okay, don't do it again... blah blah blah... (He really said blah blah blahXD) At least you did it in the right language.
Thankies to Purple Angel for the wonderous sig!
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