Re: The vent station
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Company goes bankrupt? Then the inventory will be sold off, but not before we check 500 steps about which piece will be sold off at what price and which creditor deserves first dibs on the money! Man, why does law have to be so roundabout about things?
A happens so B happens if 5 criteria are met, which all have their rules and exceptions. God forbid if external factors decide you should move to C after B or that elements of D are thrown in the mix so you'll have to find a solution at E.
Seriously, business law studies are driving me mad. It's a small part of my studies, but it's mandatory and god I hate it.
Face your emptiness don't be afraid. The danger is often smaller than your fear.
Re: The vent station
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Quote:
Seriously, business law studies are driving me mad.
Really? I dunno, I always found all parts of law interesting, because it has so many layers and gray shades to it.
I have to vent about my husband a bit... okay, I originally wanted to come over late Jan and stay until middish Feb, so we can celebrate not just his birthday in Jan, but also our anniversary in Feb. But I was going through one of my phases where I really don't want body contact or much social contact, so no plans were made.
Yes, I will fully say it's my fault, I told him that rather late and all...
Then he says he wants to come over during April and I said fine, but the rule that, if I got a job, he wouldn't come over. Mostly cause I would be gone most of the day and he'd be alone and bored. So few days ago, tells me he asked for time off for two weeks in April, and I told him to not buy a ticket yet, cause the interview wasn't over and I didn't know how it'd end.
Now, with the potential job appearing at the beginning of April, I tell him no visit. Yes, he's a bit annoyed and all, but also is a bit pissy. And reveals that he lied, that he didn't ask for time off yet. I have nothing against him lying to me about that, I'm just annoyed that he's acting like a hurt child about this...
C-A
PS: I'm not saying that he can only visit me when I'm unemployed, just that I don't want to be incapable of taking time off if he comes over. Once I work at a place for 4 - 6 months, then it'd be an appropriate time to ask for a short vacation...
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
Seriously, business law studies are driving me mad.
Really? I dunno, I always found all parts of law interesting, because it has so many layers and gray shades to it.
I have to vent about my husband a bit... okay, I originally wanted to come over late Jan and stay until middish Feb, so we can celebrate not just his birthday in Jan, but also our anniversary in Feb. But I was going through one of my phases where I really don't want body contact or much social contact, so no plans were made.
Yes, I will fully say it's my fault, I told him that rather late and all...
Then he says he wants to come over during April and I said fine, but the rule that, if I got a job, he wouldn't come over. Mostly cause I would be gone most of the day and he'd be alone and bored. So few days ago, tells me he asked for time off for two weeks in April, and I told him to not buy a ticket yet, cause the interview wasn't over and I didn't know how it'd end.
Now, with the potential job appearing at the beginning of April, I tell him no visit. Yes, he's a bit annoyed and all, but also is a bit pissy. And reveals that he lied, that he didn't ask for time off yet. I have nothing against him lying to me about that, I'm just annoyed that he's acting like a hurt child about this...
C-A
PS: I'm not saying that he can only visit me when I'm unemployed, just that I don't want to be incapable of taking time off if he comes over. Once I work at a place for 4 - 6 months, then it'd be an appropriate time to ask for a short vacation...
He probably just misses you so much, it can be utterly infuriating when something comes between folks like that. Especially since it's been delayed so much. I'd just say let him come over, whether he's stuck at home most of the time or not while you go out to work. At least that way you get some time together I'm sure he'd still appreciate it and it'd probably feel great coming home to a loved one.
Way I see it, in the future, living together with a partner you'll need to get used to working a good bit of the day and seeing each other in the evenings mostly. Especially if both of you get full time work. Need to value whatever time you get together.
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Re: The vent station
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Quote:
He probably just misses you so much, it can be utterly infuriating when something comes between folks like that. Especially since it's been delayed so much. I'd just say let him come over, whether he's stuck at home most of the time or not while you go out to work. At least that way you get some time together I'm sure he'd still appreciate it and it'd probably feel great coming home to a loved one.
But it's incredibly rude to have a visitor over and he'll be left alone for 8 - 10 hours a day. Also, after working all day, I'd be frustrated and would want to be alone, so even less time of being with him then, cause I'd be winding down watching TV or similar. Also, he doesn't speak German and doesn't know the neighborhood, so it isn't like he could go out and do things like sightseeing.
Basically, it would be a visit of a week or two with me in a rather foul mood, not seeing me for a large portion of the day and being utterly bored and stuck in the house. It'd be a terrible visit.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
he doesn't speak German
Pardon my ignorance but is it that big of a deal over there? A couple of years ago I went to Frankfurt for the holidays and most people seemed to have a decent grasp of English.
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
He probably just misses you so much, it can be utterly infuriating when something comes between folks like that. Especially since it's been delayed so much. I'd just say let him come over, whether he's stuck at home most of the time or not while you go out to work. At least that way you get some time together I'm sure he'd still appreciate it and it'd probably feel great coming home to a loved one.
But it's incredibly rude to have a visitor over and he'll be left alone for 8 - 10 hours a day. Also, after working all day, I'd be frustrated and would want to be alone, so even less time of being with him then, cause I'd be winding down watching TV or similar. Also, he doesn't speak German and doesn't know the neighborhood, so it isn't like he could go out and do things like sightseeing.
Basically, it would be a visit of a week or two with me in a rather foul mood, not seeing me for a large portion of the day and being utterly bored and stuck in the house. It'd be a terrible visit.
C-A
Why not at least ask him if he'd like it, let him know the risks. Like I said one day you might end up living together in which case you could be coming home from work frustrated every night and ignoring him. Might not turn out that way, might be you'd have someone to reassure you and cheer you up and someone for you to vent to about work when you get home.
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Re: The vent station
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Yellow Magician wrote:
CatMuto wrote:
he doesn't speak German
Pardon my ignorance but is it that big of a deal over there? A couple of years ago I went to Frankfurt for the holidays and most people seemed to have a decent grasp of English.
Well I am not in Frankfurt, I am in München. And I do not see or hear many people speaking semi-decent English here.
And Pierre, he knew from the start that my condition for him coming over was not when I have a fresh job. So this isn't that big of a shock.
C-A
Re: The vent station
Zoinks
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CatMuto wrote:
Well I am not in Frankfurt, I am in München. And I do not see or hear many people speaking semi-decent English here.
Didn't actually think you were in Frankfurt - knew you were in Germany so I was just generalising, pretty much. Apologies!
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Yellow Magician wrote:
CatMuto wrote:
he doesn't speak German
Pardon my ignorance but is it that big of a deal over there? A couple of years ago I went to Frankfurt for the holidays and most people seemed to have a decent grasp of English.
Well I am not in Frankfurt, I am in München. And I do not see or hear many people speaking semi-decent English here.
And Pierre, he knew from the start that my condition for him coming over was not when I have a fresh job. So this isn't that big of a shock.
C-A
No no I meant the condition that you'd not be there much and might be grumpy when you are. If it's long distance (as it sounds) and you love each other enough (you call each other husband and wife without being married) then he might accept any time with you no matter how troublesome it might be.
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Re: The vent station
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Pierre wrote:
No no I meant the condition that you'd not be there much and might be grumpy when you are. If it's long distance (as it sounds) and you love each other enough (you call each other husband and wife without being married) then he might accept any time with you no matter how troublesome it might be.
You're such an idealist Pierre, but in a good sense. Long distance relationships are very hard to properly manage, although I don't know the details of Cat's case, so I don't know how much 'trouble' they can sacrifice for a happy relationship.
But I think Pierre has the right mindset though. Instead of deciding it's too much trouble for your partner, why not let him decide whether is too much trouble or not? I'd feel downright rejected if my (ex)girlfriend would have said that having me over was too much trouble. And besides that, If you work than he wouldn't be alone for 9 hours. If he sleeps in till around 11 or 12 o'clock, clean himself up, having lunch etc in a very relaxed manner then he would only need to wait 4 or 5 hours. And in that time he could work on his laptop for his work or something, play games or whatever, visit places in München. You know, make the best of it.
It's easy to say something won't work in the worst case scenario, but you could also let him decide and try to make the best of it.
Face your emptiness don't be afraid. The danger is often smaller than your fear.
Re: The vent station
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Quote:
If he sleeps in till around 11 or 12 o'clock, clean himself up, having lunch etc in a very relaxed manner then he would only need to wait 4 or 5 hours. And in that time he could work on his laptop for his work or something, play games or whatever, visit places in München. You know, make the best of it.
Whenever he's over, both of us are awake, at the latest, by 9 AM.
I already said, he doesn't speak German, he doesn't know the neighborhood, so he can't go visit places in Munich himself. He would end up lost and, since his American phone won't work in Germany, no real means of finding him, if he got lost.
His job is at a theatre, he can't do any work from here (also, he's gonna be out of a job soon, anyway, so no point there, either)
It's just a lose-lose situation on both ends.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
If he sleeps in till around 11 or 12 o'clock, clean himself up, having lunch etc in a very relaxed manner then he would only need to wait 4 or 5 hours. And in that time he could work on his laptop for his work or something, play games or whatever, visit places in München. You know, make the best of it.
Whenever he's over, both of us are awake, at the latest, by 9 AM.
I already said, he doesn't speak German, he doesn't know the neighborhood, so he can't go visit places in Munich himself. He would end up lost and, since his American phone won't work in Germany, no real means of finding him, if he got lost.
His job is at a theatre, he can't do any work from here (also, he's gonna be out of a job soon, anyway, so no point there, either)
It's just a lose-lose situation on both ends.
C-A
Except the part where he gets to see you and the end of the day. That's a pretty big win in my book.
Perhaps with enough time, he could buy like a guidebook or something and just visit local places he can walk to on foot or just stay in and play games while you are out.
The point is, he might want to see you so much it doesn't matter to him whether it's a little bit in the evening and you are that grumpy. You should give him the chance at least and see if he'd still like to come in spite of the problems.
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Re: The vent station
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Pierre wrote:
The point is, he might want to see you so much it doesn't matter to him whether it's a little bit in the evening and you are that grumpy. You should give him the chance at least and see if he'd still like to come in spite of the problems.
This is what I'm talking about. Cat, if you are worried that your partner is too inconvenienced by visiting you then you should let your partner make the decision about coming over. If he thinks it's too much trouble then he can stay home, if he thinks the inconvenience is worth the time you guys can spend together then he can come. Either option should be fine for you Cat, but this way you give him some choice instead of flat out rejecting him based on a worst case scenario.
Honestly Cat, It sounds like you are making excuses to justify NOT seeing him.
Face your emptiness don't be afraid. The danger is often smaller than your fear.
Re: The vent station
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Quote:
Perhaps with enough time, he could buy like a guidebook or something and just visit local places he can walk to on foot or just stay in and play games while you are out.
The only things we have close to my home are 3 or 4 supermarkets. Not very convenient places to spend hours in.
And I wasn't posting in this thread to get some damn advice or be told that I should have him over when I don't have the time or mood for it, I was merely venting about his childish behavior about it.
And yes, it would make me angry that he comes over when I clearly don't have the time for him.
It wouldn't be an enjoyable visit at all.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
Perhaps with enough time, he could buy like a guidebook or something and just visit local places he can walk to on foot or just stay in and play games while you are out.
The only things we have close to my home are 3 or 4 supermarkets. Not very convenient places to spend hours in.
And I wasn't posting in this thread to get some damn advice or be told that I should have him over when I don't have the time or mood for it, I was merely venting about his childish behavior about it.
And yes, it would make me angry that he comes over when I clearly don't have the time for him.
It wouldn't be an enjoyable visit at all.
C-A
Jeez Cat, no you didn't ask for advice but I'd say that people who try to help are a blessing instead of a curse. When people vent their problems it's important that they are heard by other people, who in response try to help or at least provide a listening ear. I assumed that's why you vent on a public forum. If you want to vent without dealing with "damn advice" you'll have better luck venting into inanimate objects.
Also neither myself nor Pierre TOLD you to have the guy over. We simply said that your partner should have a say to make the decision about coming over or not since he will be making the trip.
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Re: The vent station
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It's like when I'm in a bad mood and people constantly go up to me and tell me that I should talk to them, cause it'll help, when that is the exact thing that makes me feel even more miserable than I already am, which usually causes me to start crying - something I was trying to prevent and was preventing before people were all up in my business.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
I vent on forums to get it out of my system, since I don't want to have it festering inside of me, giving me more panic attacks than I already have and I fail to see the point in venting by hitting an inanimate object. The few times I've done that, it didn't help. No, just because I vent on a forum doesn't mean I want advice. I would be totally okay if someone saw my vent post and then shrugged, "Whatever" and left it alone.
It's like when I'm in a bad mood and people constantly go up to me and tell me that I should talk to them, cause it'll help, when that is the exact thing that makes me feel even more miserable than I already am, which usually causes me to start crying - something I was trying to prevent and was preventing before people were all up in my business.
C-A
It's like when I'm in a bad mood and people constantly go up to me and tell me that I should talk to them, cause it'll help, when that is the exact thing that makes me feel even more miserable than I already am, which usually causes me to start crying - something I was trying to prevent and was preventing before people were all up in my business.
C-A
Sometimes I think if you ever showed compromise or understanding of other humans something would break internally in you Cat
Like Sjibbey said we were only trying to help. If you don't want that help, you don't post your problems on a public forum, because that implies you want to share with people. You post a problem and problems are typically there to be solved so we try and help you. I don't think his behaviour is all that childish, I'd understand why he'd be furious you call each other husband and wife (despite not being married) so presumably you are close but he hasn't been able to see you in a long time. He's probably more sad than angry and I can understand why if he's missing you so much. I hurt fiercely if I go a month without seeing my girlfriend and she only lives a few hours away compared to your situation. I wouldn't call him childish for missing you no.
You could try as a compromise and plan a later trip for him to come up at a time when you'd feel accustomed to your new job (assuming everything goes well) so that you'd at least have something set in stone that would take precedence over work. Also, while I'm not sure how it is in Germany, typically they ask you for your earliest start date or if you have any planned holidays at an interview in my experience. So that the start time bends around YOUR life rather than vice versa.
If you've not had the interview yet you could try and mention then that you have something planned then and if that would be a problem. A lot of folks might be quite compassionate about a situation like yours and with enough time these things can be worked around.
Though yes really at this point it sounds like you don't particularly want him offer if you are knocking back our advice to try and help you. It's hardly fair to insult people for trying to help you
When you put your opinions and problems on the internet Cat, people might not blindly agree with you. They might say something and like we did try and help you by offering out opinions and talking things out. When opinions clash we can learn and grow from other people's advice and knowledge and incorporate it into our own. That's just how things are. If you don't want anyone to answer or just want nothing but yes answers buy a diary or a stress ball your your problems because putting them online is likely to have a response.
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Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Also, yes, they tend to ask what your earliest starting date is. But it really doesn't sound very good to say, "Well, I can't start my job yet because my boyfriend decided to visit me for two weeks." kind of out of the blue. Yes, he had mentioned April beforehand, but he always knew of the possibility that, if I got a new job, I would not want him to visit for the above reasons.
Of course he can come over, if I happen to have a job and have been there for a while. But that can take a few months. Most places in Germany, be it in short training position or a full-fledged job, won't give you any vacation time for a while. They even come with probation periods, which can last for months in themselves. If I get and keep this job, he might be able to visit me around September or October, depending on the job and all.
I don't keep diaries, I attempted it and gave up after a few weeks.
Stress balls don't help. I'd rather play a fighting videogame, cause then it feels like I'm actually doing something, rather than just squeeze a ball. At least there, I can see that stress reduction has caused something (reduced HP bar) than just a ball that returns to its form after I squeeze it.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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When you post things on a public forum, it is out there for the public to see. This much is true. And you can't control how people will react to what you put out there.
However, going by the original post of this thread, this was never really intended to be an advice thread, was it? It's all about venting and throwing all those pent up, negative emotions out there. I know somewhere in the middle, everyone kind of lost sight of that, and we did start tossing back some pieces of advice (and this will probably happen in the future on occasion as well), but in my opinion, this thread shouldn't be a place where people have to get even more frustrated over already being frustrated.
I don't think Cat's request is unreasonable. Could she have made that wish known a little sooner? Going by the original intention of this thread, I'm not really sure she had to. But I don't think it's such a hard thing to back off and just say, "Oh, well I hope you guys figure it out" or something.
Sometimes advice is wanted, other times it's unwarranted. Just because someone might need a "listening ear" doesn't guarantee they'll need the talking mouth to go with it.
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Re: The vent station
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Adrian in black wrote:
Hmm...
When you post things on a public forum, it is out there for the public to see. This much is true. And you can't control how people will react to what you put out there.
However, going by the original post of this thread, this was never really intended to be an advice thread, was it? It's all about venting and throwing all those pent up, negative emotions out there. I know somewhere in the middle, everyone kind of lost sight of that, and we did start tossing back some pieces of advice (and this will probably happen in the future on occasion as well), but in my opinion, this thread shouldn't be a place where people have to get even more frustrated over already being frustrated.
I don't think Cat's request is unreasonable. Could she have made that wish known a little sooner? Going by the original intention of this thread, I'm not really sure she had to. But I don't think it's such a hard thing to back off and just say, "Oh, well I hope you guys figure it out" or something.
Sometimes advice is wanted, other times it's unwarranted. Just because someone might need a "listening ear" doesn't guarantee they'll need the talking mouth to go with it.
When you post things on a public forum, it is out there for the public to see. This much is true. And you can't control how people will react to what you put out there.
However, going by the original post of this thread, this was never really intended to be an advice thread, was it? It's all about venting and throwing all those pent up, negative emotions out there. I know somewhere in the middle, everyone kind of lost sight of that, and we did start tossing back some pieces of advice (and this will probably happen in the future on occasion as well), but in my opinion, this thread shouldn't be a place where people have to get even more frustrated over already being frustrated.
I don't think Cat's request is unreasonable. Could she have made that wish known a little sooner? Going by the original intention of this thread, I'm not really sure she had to. But I don't think it's such a hard thing to back off and just say, "Oh, well I hope you guys figure it out" or something.
Sometimes advice is wanted, other times it's unwarranted. Just because someone might need a "listening ear" doesn't guarantee they'll need the talking mouth to go with it.
Well there's me being admonished from wanting to help.
You'll note it doesn't explicitly say we can't try and help other people as well in the original post either Adrian (I actually checked for that reason after Cat brought it up). It's not forbidden by any of the vague rules to this thread.
Cat didn't "request" anything. She dropped a problem, I tried to help, being in a long distance relationship myself I felt I could relate a little to how her husband might feel since I've had situations threaten to cancel expected trips as well.
The only time she requested she didn't want help was when she was telling us off for trying to help. We didn't tell her to do anything we just offered advice. It's a place to talk about problems, whether offering advice to someone or just agreeing "Yeah that sucks" both are valid and there's nothing in the non-existent rules that says otherwise.
Besides, Cat's been here a long time, how many times have people tried to console and help one another after venting their problems here? Plenty of times it's the norm for this, the unspoken rule, something she would've known when she posted. There's no rule saying we can't try and offer help, if she didn't want an opinion she should have said so, but we didn't do anything offensive.
I refuse to believe that trying genuinely to help someone is worth berating someone for, it's not like we were prying into her life when she'd said "I don't want to talk about it." She brought it to a public place indicating she didn't want to talk about it. Then she goes off about how "Why do you care? I didn't ask for advice" like she expects no one at all cares about things. Like everyone would just look at a problem and go "Hmm sucks" before moving on wordlessly.
Like I said, if you want to rant in private, do it in a diary because if I see someone who I think could use some advice to help them, I'd going to go ahead and offer it, cause I care about folks. Should try and bring as much good as possible into the world.
There's nothing wrong with trying to help somebody.
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Re: The vent station
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Quote:
However, going by the original post of this thread, this was never really intended to be an advice thread, was it? It's all about venting and throwing all those pent up, negative emotions out there.
Exactly. It's a vent thread, not a "I need help about this problem" thread.
Also, Pierre, even if you are in a long-distance relationship - you say yours is only a few hours away. I'm in Germany, he's in America. It's a bit more longer-distance than for you, so... not belittling the problems you may have in your l-d relationship, but I don't really think you can compare those two.
Yes, I do not expect or want people to somehow offer me help when I am simply venting about something. I don't remember anyone really giving me advice when I vented about a year ago about a difficult customer. Or my not having a job, there were suggestions, but none that worked, because most of those I had already tried or wouldn't attempt for various reasons.
If I see a post in this thread where someone actively says, "can you suggest anything here?" or "anyone have a similar problem?" then go ahead and help them as much as you want. But if it isn't said, there really isn't any need to feel like they require help. Venting is venting. Asking for help is something entirely different.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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Re: The vent station
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Pierre wrote:
Adrian in black wrote:
Hmm...
When you post things on a public forum, it is out there for the public to see. This much is true. And you can't control how people will react to what you put out there.
However, going by the original post of this thread, this was never really intended to be an advice thread, was it? It's all about venting and throwing all those pent up, negative emotions out there. I know somewhere in the middle, everyone kind of lost sight of that, and we did start tossing back some pieces of advice (and this will probably happen in the future on occasion as well), but in my opinion, this thread shouldn't be a place where people have to get even more frustrated over already being frustrated.
I don't think Cat's request is unreasonable. Could she have made that wish known a little sooner? Going by the original intention of this thread, I'm not really sure she had to. But I don't think it's such a hard thing to back off and just say, "Oh, well I hope you guys figure it out" or something.
Sometimes advice is wanted, other times it's unwarranted. Just because someone might need a "listening ear" doesn't guarantee they'll need the talking mouth to go with it.
When you post things on a public forum, it is out there for the public to see. This much is true. And you can't control how people will react to what you put out there.
However, going by the original post of this thread, this was never really intended to be an advice thread, was it? It's all about venting and throwing all those pent up, negative emotions out there. I know somewhere in the middle, everyone kind of lost sight of that, and we did start tossing back some pieces of advice (and this will probably happen in the future on occasion as well), but in my opinion, this thread shouldn't be a place where people have to get even more frustrated over already being frustrated.
I don't think Cat's request is unreasonable. Could she have made that wish known a little sooner? Going by the original intention of this thread, I'm not really sure she had to. But I don't think it's such a hard thing to back off and just say, "Oh, well I hope you guys figure it out" or something.
Sometimes advice is wanted, other times it's unwarranted. Just because someone might need a "listening ear" doesn't guarantee they'll need the talking mouth to go with it.
Well there's me being admonished from wanting to help.
You'll note it doesn't explicitly say we can't try and help other people as well in the original post either Adrian (I actually checked for that reason after Cat brought it up). It's not forbidden by any of the vague rules to this thread.
Cat didn't "request" anything. She dropped a problem, I tried to help, being in a long distance relationship myself I felt I could relate a little to how her husband might feel since I've had situations threaten to cancel expected trips as well.
The only time she requested she didn't want help was when she was telling us off for trying to help. We didn't tell her to do anything we just offered advice. It's a place to talk about problems, whether offering advice to someone or just agreeing "Yeah that sucks" both are valid and there's nothing in the non-existent rules that says otherwise.
Besides, Cat's been here a long time, how many times have people tried to console and help one another after venting their problems here? Plenty of times it's the norm for this, the unspoken rule, something she would've known when she posted. There's no rule saying we can't try and offer help, if she didn't want an opinion she should have said so, but we didn't do anything offensive.
I refuse to believe that trying genuinely to help someone is worth berating someone for, it's not like we were prying into her life when she'd said "I don't want to talk about it." She brought it to a public place indicating she didn't want to talk about it. Then she goes off about how "Why do you care? I didn't ask for advice" like she expects no one at all cares about things. Like everyone would just look at a problem and go "Hmm sucks" before moving on wordlessly.
Like I said, if you want to rant in private, do it in a diary because if I see someone who I think could use some advice to help them, I'd going to go ahead and offer it, cause I care about folks. Should try and bring as much good as possible into the world.
There's nothing wrong with trying to help somebody.
I'm not saying offering advice is forbidden. I'm just saying, it wasn't the original intention, so it isn't so strange that someone will just want to vent without wanting advice.
And 'request' was a poor choice of words, I admit. It was more of a statement than anything else. And I can't speak on why it took her several posts to make her wishes clear. You say someone should expect that others will comment and try to help when that someone vents about a problem. But who do you have to blame when you choose to become emotionally invested in someone else's problems and it doesn't go well? I understand you're offended by her reaction, but is this really the hill you want to die on? Yes, it's human nature to want to help, and it can feel like a kick in the ass when someone doesn't want your help. But it's their right to refuse. Could they be nicer about refusing? Could they apologize for their bluntness... CAT? Sure, but you can't really control that reaction, just as they can't control you jumping in and giving advice.
But regardless of how someone reacts, one thing I've learned not to do is to make someone else's problem all about you. Which isn't easy once they've gotten under your skin. You can't force someone to take your help and call it "caring" (with the obvious exception of people who are an immediate danger to themselves). Sometimes you just have to let things go... let them vent.
But that's my opinion.
"Descole? You don't mean Mr. I-Like-to-Wreck-Things-with-Mechanical-Monsters-and-Dress-Up-as-Posh-Ladies Descole?" -Emmy Altava
...NAILED IT
...NAILED IT
Re: The vent station
Gettin' Old!
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Quote:
Could they be nicer about refusing? Could they apologize for their bluntness... CAT? Sure, but you can't really control that reaction, just as they can't control you jumping in and giving advice.
This is really the crux of the issue. Cat is uncompromising and hadn't given any indication she didn't want advice in a thread where advice and support has been given since it's creation. Cat knew the status quo when she posted in here, using loopholes like "well it wasn't stated in the original post" doesn't change the fact that it's been done here forever.
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Re: The vent station
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Quote:
Cat knew the status quo when she posted in here
No I didn't. This is called a vent thread. I vent in here. Yes, I have been on the forum since the thread hs been opened, but do you think I really went through all the pages to read and see that people have been giving advice and such over the course of the thread's posts? No! I want to vent, I vent in this damn thread, not waste my time reading about other people's problems.
Also, no, I will not apologize. Why should I? I didn't insult anyone, I got angry that people were not leaving this the freak alone.
C-A
Re: The vent station
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CatMuto wrote:
Quote:
Cat knew the status quo when she posted in here
No I didn't. This is called a vent thread. I vent in here. Yes, I have been on the forum since the thread hs been opened, but do you think I really went through all the pages to read and see that people have been giving advice and such over the course of the thread's posts? No! I want to vent, I vent in this damn thread, not waste my time reading about other people's problems.
Also, no, I will not apologize. Why should I? I didn't insult anyone, I got angry that people were not leaving this the freak alone.
C-A
You've probably vented so much in here I wouldn't be surprised if you had actually seen every page. I guess I expected you to at least catch in a passing glance the places where sympathy and support was offered for other people's problems.
I'll say it again, it's a public forum people are entitled to post what they want, there's no rule stating people can't provide support and indeed (though you seem to have missed it) it's a common occurrence in this thread. If you just want a place to vent without anyone caring, buy a diary.
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Re: The vent station
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C-A
Re: The vent station
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My intention was to help you out Cat, I'm not going to apologize for that and neither do I expect an apology from you. Let's agree that our views on this matter are different which caused us to believe we both were right with our own views. If it's fine with you I'll drop the issue now, since that seems the best next step.
Face your emptiness don't be afraid. The danger is often smaller than your fear.
Re: The vent station
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It's nice to get into a new job and work somewhere for a day or two, without having too much at once. A slow start is nice. But not if it takes so long that it bores the person working. We can't even call that working. Get them in on a day where it isn't Ghost Town OR New York during Lunch Hour.
It's not because it bores the person working, but it also gives a pretty bad impression of the workplace to begin with. I mean, come on, do I really think I'd like to work in a place where - when we're open 7 Days a week - FIVE of those days are so boring, you feel like you could punch in for a total of 30 minutes over the course of the day and that's the only productive section? And then, the only time when something's going on and I actually feel like I'm WORKING is on a weekend?
No... jeez... if you don't want to get a worker in on the worst, full-up, busy days of the week, get them in on a Friday or so, when things might be picking up faster and do more stuff... not just sit there for 5 hours and read something, because it's the only way you'll waste time productively in the place, without staring at the clock and threaten to burst into tears...
C-A
Re: The vent station
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At the start of my app development job last summer, I was placed in the QA department and had nothing better to do for a week than look at testing software and do, like, one official test (for another QA tester!) every day.
After that week, there was literally no more QA work to be done on my side, so I then had to deal with learning Objective-C on my own (worst programming language ever) so I could be placed on a project later - again, boring as hell, and it didn't help that everyone else around me was heavily engaged in one or even multiple projects.
It wasn't until four weeks into my employment that I was officially assigned to a (fairly demanding) project. I'm still wondering why they bothered to hire me prior to that point considering how much I was costing them.
Re: The vent station
Mrs. Jeon Jungkook ♥
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Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
The beginning was quite fun, just with all the ups and downs
But suddenly, we’re tired, from a waste of meaningless emotions
But suddenly, we’re tired, from a waste of meaningless emotions
시작은 뭐 즐거웠었네 오르락내리락 그 자체로 어느새 서로 지쳐버렸네 의미 없는 감정소모에
Trivia 轉 : Seesaw
Re: The vent station
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Mary Faraday wrote:
A vent thread?
Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
I feel your pain D:. I posted on this thread about it too xD. I especially hate when a manga release takes forever because the translation team is lazy -.-
Re: The vent station
Mrs. Jeon Jungkook ♥
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Ishimaru Kiyotaka wrote:
Mary Faraday wrote:
A vent thread?
Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
I feel your pain D:. I posted on this thread about it too xD. I especially hate when a manga release takes forever because the translation team is lazy -.-
Oh, oops, haha. Must have slipped away from me, sneaky post of yours.. and yeah, I really hate it. I always get so uncomfortable and desperate and ugh I just have a lot of feels.
The beginning was quite fun, just with all the ups and downs
But suddenly, we’re tired, from a waste of meaningless emotions
But suddenly, we’re tired, from a waste of meaningless emotions
시작은 뭐 즐거웠었네 오르락내리락 그 자체로 어느새 서로 지쳐버렸네 의미 없는 감정소모에
Trivia 轉 : Seesaw
Re: The vent station
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Mary Faraday wrote:
Ishimaru Kiyotaka wrote:
Mary Faraday wrote:
A vent thread?
Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
Hmm let's see.. do I have something to vent about?
YEAH
You know, I hate it when I need to wait for new manga-releases!
I feel your pain D:. I posted on this thread about it too xD. I especially hate when a manga release takes forever because the translation team is lazy -.-
Oh, oops, haha. Must have slipped away from me, sneaky post of yours.. and yeah, I really hate it. I always get so uncomfortable and desperate and ugh I just have a lot of feels.
So I'm sneaky now? Haha. For me I just get all anxious and impatient especially when a manga I like takes a month to finally come out *cough*Soul Eater *cough
Re: The vent station
Mrs. Jeon Jungkook ♥
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Ishimaru Kiyotaka wrote:
So I'm sneaky now? Haha. For me I just get all anxious and impatient especially when a manga I like takes a month to finally come out *cough*Soul Eater *cough
Your post is sneaky, that is.
And yeah, I would feel like this as well, but I've been reading them for so long, I don't even know anymore how it is to be impatient over a release of a manga..And Soul Eater really did take long to update, I really wanted to throw my goddamn tablet against the wall when it came out after a whole daaaamn month.
The beginning was quite fun, just with all the ups and downs
But suddenly, we’re tired, from a waste of meaningless emotions
But suddenly, we’re tired, from a waste of meaningless emotions
시작은 뭐 즐거웠었네 오르락내리락 그 자체로 어느새 서로 지쳐버렸네 의미 없는 감정소모에
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Re: The vent station
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Oh, being brought in on a day that is very slow and calm is a very realistic point of view on the job... well fuck that! For one thing, if they have such fine, calm days a lot of time and are only very busy on weekends, why the fuck are they looking for cosmeticians in full- or part-time and not just look for weekend-only cosmeticians? Second, fuck that again! I want a job where I feel actually using my time properly, not stand around for five hours like a prop lacking all kinds of personality!
C-A
Re: The vent station
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Mary Faraday wrote:
Ishimaru Kiyotaka wrote:
So I'm sneaky now? Haha. For me I just get all anxious and impatient especially when a manga I like takes a month to finally come out *cough*Soul Eater *cough
Your post is sneaky, that is.
And yeah, I would feel like this as well, but I've been reading them for so long, I don't even know anymore how it is to be impatient over a release of a manga..And Soul Eater really did take long to update, I really wanted to throw my goddamn tablet against the wall when it came out after a whole daaaamn month.
Hmm I'll be watching you >.> xD. You get used to it after a while that sometimes time flies and you don't realize that the next chapter or episode is out. Usually I'm a patient person which is opposite from my girlfriend but when it comes to my anime/manga I'm impatient as hell xD
Omg yes! I always felt so frustrated especially when the chapter ends on a epic cliff hanger. In the end though I understand that I should get upset because Soul Eater was part of a monthly Shonen magazine.
Re: The vent station
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