Seriously? She snapped after your class basically mobbed her, cause those are not just pranks, and she yelled that? How boring, I would've gone on a rant in front of your class. There would have been F-Bombs exploding all over the place. Seriously, what the fuck was your class doing? 8th Grade? That means you guys were 14-15 years old. The hell? Your class was stupid and students could've been expelled for that crap.

C-A

:kyouya: Me

Don Crist, Defense Attorney

Judge Walter Bradley.


Your Honor, my client has 5 documented personalities.

:kyouya: Points for style, but you've got it backwards. The shrink she once slept with says she has 5 personalities.

He's still a Doctor. She has multiple personalities.

Should we swear them all in seperately?

This is kind of long, but it's the closest I've ever come to an AA moment in Court. It's from my days in the Manhattan D.A.'s office.

:kyouya: Me.

Assistant District Attorney Dan Dieter.

Witness, Jennifer Blanchard.

:chinami: Charlotte Swan, Defense Attorney.

Judge Amanda Anderlee.


:chinami: Do you remember where your husband was the night of the crime?

Of course I remember. Charles and I had dinner together and then finished working the Sunday crossword puzzle. I think we went to bed around 11:00.

:chinami: And you're sure you're thinking of the night of the 12th? Not the 11th perhaps, or the 13th?

Yes, because it was a Monday. That's when we typically work the crossword.

:chinami: Good. That's nice. Did your husband ever leave the apartment? Let's say to walk the dog?

We don't have a dog.

:chinami: To go to the cornerstore to get some ice cream?

He was home all night.

:chinami: Nothing further.

*whisper* She's lying. Get her Tails.

:kyouya: *whisper* You got it.

:kyouya: Did you know your husband was having an affair?

No.

:kyouya: How did it make you feel when you found out?

I'm human. It hurt. He certainly isn't the first husband to cheat.

:kyouya: *I started to get rough* This wasn't a one night stand, Mrs. Blanchard. This was a four year affair.

Is there really a difference?

:kyouya: He had a baby with her, Mrs. Blanchard......... What did you have for dinner the night of the 12th?

.............Prime Rib.

:kyouya: Did you and your husband have wine with dinner that night?

............................

:kyouya: Mrs. Blanchard?

Yes. Cabernet.

((Here's the fun part))

I'm sorry......

For what?

I can't do this. My husband is......

:kyouya: / Is what?

*pointing to her husband at the Defense talbe* YOU TRIED TO KILL YOUR OWN SON!!

:chinami: Objection!

He was not home with me that evening.

:kyouya: What?

I lied about everything.

:chinami: Chambers, Your Honor.

((9 minute conference.))

:chinami: Redirect, Your Honor?

It's your funeral, Mrs. Swan.

:chinami: That was quite a performance, Mrs. Blanchard.

:kyouya: Objection.

....Overruled.

It was the truth.

:chinami: Of course it was, you wouldn't lie under oath.

I tried.

:chinami: Your conscience, I know. Tell me, Mrs. Blanchard, do you happen to know a Martha Harlow?

.............

:chinami: If you didn't hear the question..

She was one of Charles's students.

:chinami: And?

He had an affair with her.

:kyouya: Objection, where is this going?

Overruled.

:chinami: An affair? I see. How about Denise Lowell? Do you know her?

She's a member of our Country Club.

:chinami: And?

Charles had an affair with her too.

:chinami: You caught the two of them in your bed, isn't that right?

Objection!

Overruled.

:chinami: I didn't hear an answer.

Yes.

:chinami: And Cheryl Bennet, Lynn Siegel, Lauren Phelps and Madeleine Broome! He had affairs with all of them, too, didn't he?

:kyouya: OBJECTION! Relevance? *from this point, Dan and I both stood*

Overruled, please answer.

Yes.

:chinami: And those are just the ones you know about. God only knows how many others there are. Let me ask you something, Mrs. Blanchard, doesn't that make you angry?

...............

:chinami: Mrs. Blanchard!?!

Yes.

:chinami: Angry enough to want to get back at him?

Yes.

:chinami: Angry enough to do anything?

Yes!

:chinami: Even lie? To have him sent to prison?

:kyouya: Objection!

Overruled. Answer the question.

Yes.

:chinami: Now truthfully, Mrs. Blanchard, were you home with your husband the night of the murder?

.................Yes.

:kyouya: CHAMBERS!

*sighs with disgust* Sorry, Counselors, but this freak show is over. I'm declaring a mistrial.

It seemed right out of a AA. At least I didn't lose.

When I was in the high school, once our headmaster was having a general students speech.

Head master: You have to work hard, everyone, and you well get revenge in the future!

Students: *burst into laugh*

(I believe he wanted to say something like "reward", but...XD)

Although I wasn't there, his speech was quoted for weeks afterward.

:odoroki: THERE WAS NO SLAVERY! NO SLAVERY! NO! SLAVERY!

I hope it was half as awesome as the image I have in my mind of it.

Tails, are you expecting a 12-0 record by the time this trial is over?

"If the fundraiser goes well we may be able to reach *puts pinkie to lip* ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

"Any student who fails to do their homework will be forced to watch Twilight"