I live in a village with nowhere open past 5 so if there's no food you just have to go without. Though don't wish sadness on other people Cat.

---

I'm not wishing sadness onto other people. Just that disgusting feeling of being inadequate, like you're some dirty worm trying to scrape a little bit of something together so you can have one goddamn little joy in the day because you lack money to do so otherwise.

Fucking dammit, I can't even doing anything SPONTANIOUSLY! I can't be all, "Hey you know what, I feel like having a subway sandwich for lunch" and go off fifteen minutes after deciding. No. I have to plan about TEN HOURS PRIORLY thinking, "I feel like having a subway sandwich tomorrow. Better make sure to scrounge money together so I can fucking afford it".

C-A

PS: My damn tooth hurts.

---

I have a fixed income of $700 a month. I balance want and need. I spend $200 of that money for stuff I want, such as games, and the other $500 is spent on stuff I need, such as food and bills. I only eat out once a month, maybe twice, as eating out is more expensive than buying pre-packaged foods from the grocery store, which is what I mostly eat.

---

So... worse than sadness.

---

I don't have ANY income at all. You're still better off than me.

C-A

---

I don't think that gives you the right to wish misery upon others, though...

---

Honestly, Cat can wish whatever she wants on anyone. We can wish her to feel anything else, but that don't change much.

In the meantime, I just finished The Walking Dead: Season 2. The ending I liked the best (and chose first) required the toughest choice. I feel sad, but in a good way. The sense of agency was pretty well-maintained, and it was a good ending. Hoping for a season 3, though I might wait to play that one when it's finished. EDIT: What I meant to say was "there were so many feels right now after playing it". Ugh, I can be so convoluted sometimes.

---

Yes as I'm painfully familiar with, Cat is perfectly entitled to yell at us for talking about her opinions or problems she puts in this place.

Still I get what you mean man, there's been times after I've finished episodes of the Walking Dead where...I just don't know what to say, it can be so emotionally draining that I just can't put words out there to describe it in any kind of detail.

---

I think geno was more referring to the fact that I can vent my frustrations in ways by wishing bad things on other people as much as anyone else. I'm sure I'm not the only person who ever had the thought of "I hope something terrible happens to you" when really angry.

Plus, as I've pointed out several times, this is a vent thread. Not a "I have this problem, please help me solve it" thread. A vent thread is there to vent your frustrations or anger about something, not to solve problems. (There are forums who have a Vent Thread that have a "No chatting" rule. You only vent, you don't respond to any of it)

C-A

---

Shut up Cat I don't want to discuss that again. - My Vent.

---

That's about the long and short of it. Of course, I don't agree with that attitude, nor would I encourage that behavior. However, Cat seems rather set in her ways, and it's not my job to be her personal therapist. If she were to talk down to someone else on this site or to me (or something else specific), I'd say something. But she isn't, so I'm not.



Fair enough.



Yeah... that happened to me in Ssn1Ep3, that just... hit way too hard. Too much. Not to mention Ssn1Ep5. HOLY CRAP. But yeah, while this episode perhaps didn't hit me as hard as the last time, in many ways I felt like either way I was going to lose someone I didn't want to lose. And I did, no matter what (I tried, loading and reloading, seeing what I could do).

---

Gah say no more! You'll give stuff away! You've already hinted that regardless of my wishes popular characters will die! I'm desperately praying....and praying it won't be but I know Telltale won't care.

Still you made a thread for this specifically so let's leave this conversation for that place.

---

I don't want to go visit my dad's side of the family. Or my mom's side, but the dad's side is what I'm contending with.

I don't care if my second cousins are awesome and growing up way too fast. I don't care if my hag of a grandmother made homemade jelly and won't outwardly insult me for fear of another interaction embargo. I don't care if my cousin doesn't beat me and terrorize me on a regular basis anymore (he's bragged about it to what is now his ex-wife), nor do I want to hear any more excuses for why he did it. My grandmother is still the abuser that manipulated my dad and aunt into fighting for so long, who manufactured me as the black sheep of the family and prevented justice being done when I was wronged, who inflicted such guilt that apparently her string-pulling wasn't worth telling me until after I moved in with her freshman year of college.

I'm tired of being told by my dad (whom is now speaking to her again, even if passively) that "while my anger is justified, I need to forgive". Maybe, but I'm not forgetting, and the memories burn. And what a short memory he chooses to have when she leveraged his ailing (from Parkinson's) dad (my grandfather) to keep visiting. To keep overlooking every time she insulted my mom. We talk about her like a bogeyman, but now we're back to smiling and pretending things didn't and don't happen.

I don't care if Memaw's (my paternal grandmother) more than likely a clinical narcissist who had problems in her past. I don't even care that her narcissism means she wakes up in a new world every day where she's done no wrong (but still somehow has room in her convenient memory for every problem every person has so she can gossip about it). I just don't care anymore.

Every time I go into the den, I remember the beatings. But now there's a new memory. When I returned a few days before my x-mas break is over (in freshman year of college), I came back to find several trashbags of Christmas decorations to store in the shed (at that time, the den doubled as my bedroom). I remember how she would continually throw my dirty shoes (as at that point, I was walking from place to place) into the den (again, what was my bedroom). I remember hearing through the thin walls complaints about how I "always needed a ride" after I accepted an offer that came from nowhere to give me a ride. It's why I walked several miles to the Wal*Mart to purchase a copy of Mass Effect 2 (going to one of the video game stores would have required me to try to cross the freeway, which is not something I looked forward to). It's why I walked to college, which lay three or four blocks outside of the house.

It's not like she holds anyone else in high regard, either. She treated my papau (paternal grandfather) like crap. I only knew my papau after his bout with Parkinson's Disease, and I still remember quite vividly how she yelled at him, demeaning him while changing his diaper. How she would refuse him even water (even before the swallowing problems started).

She brags about burning some of my cousin's older brother's property because she didn't like it.

She frequently lied to my aunt to incense her against my dad. She even tried to convince her desperately to the man that would become my uncle because a cousin of his was "retarded" (I don't know which condition he had, but it's entirely within the realm of possibility that he hag was lying).

Soon after I was born, I was placed in her arms. When my mother requested me back, she actively went from room to room avoiding my mom while carrying me off. She would treat my mom as lesser, and would be part of the reason Dad never saw the hag's sleights against my mom, nor would she listen when my mom wanted to actually correct my cousin's behavior when I was treated unfairly.

She treats her this way, as she treated my dad when he wanted to get away from his family that he now insists I go see. She instantly converted his room and tore about the closet to have more closet space herself. She would use my cousin's brother's affection to goad my dad into returning- because after all, he was once growing up all to fast himself. He blames my mom for my dad leaving despite the fact that my dad met her AFTER he left.




I am done. So completely done. But the arrangements are made, right? The new kennel has an appointment for my dog, already paid for. Dad's already set his vacation days around it, as has mom. It doesn't matter that I'm 25. Because I'm family, I'm expected to go. Because I live here, I'm expected to go. It doesn't matter if I was vicitmized within my family's social structure repeatedly, I'm supposed to get over it. She's not actively antagonistic, so that makes things okay. My cousin's not going to hit me, so that makes things okay. My second cousins think I'm cool, so that makes it okay.




I really don't want to go visit my dad's side of the family.

---

When you're homeless you don't have an apartment to scrounge from

---

Doesn't matter if you're "expected" to go. You're an adult. Stay at home if you don't want to go, or room with a buddy while mom and dad have their vacation. Or if there are some non-crazy folks in your dad's family, maybe you could stay with them while greatly limiting your time with the crazies.

Your dad is an adult too, and he gets to choose who he interacts with. Same goes for you. He can't force people to maintain connections with others, just as you wouldn't be able to force him to not see his mother.

In a perfect world, or even a somewhat imperfect world, I do think family is important. You should make an effort to keep in touch, and you should try to support each other the best you can without violating boundaries (an exception being when the dynamic unexpectedly shifts, such as in times of severe illness/death and it's just unavoidable).

But IMO, that bond is broken between you and someone in your family when they treat you like such horrible shit that simply anticipating any interaction with them fills you with dread. I won't even say "even if it's not justified" because any kind of abuse (physical, verbal, emotional, etc) is never justified. At that point, I think you are allowed to limit your time with those people. In extreme cases, it might even be appropriate to cut them out of your life. When I say you're allowed, it's not about getting back at an abuser, or responding with hostility, or being weak, I'm saying it's about your sanity. Scars and triggers are still there, and your mental health comes first. If these people send you to crazytown every time you talk to them, then don't talk to them, or don't talk to them as much. Will you disappoint family? Maybe. I won't pretend it isn't a possibility. Will the world end? Probably not.

Forgiveness is not some prize or reward someone gets for fulfilling some requirement, or even just after "enough time has passed." No one is entitled to forgiveness. No one. Ever. If you want to forgive someone, that's your choice. But it is not something that is owed, no matter how "reformed" a person claims to be, and no one can dictate when you're "supposed to" forgive.

If your grandmother is as vile as you say she is, though, she might eventually drive everyone away and end up all alone. Sad part is, she'll have done it to herself. Obviously, I don't know what your dad is thinking, but I wouldn't be surprised if he has some concerns.

---

Well, there are. I just don't relate to them very much. My cousin's older brother is more dad's super tight family member, and I always feel like a third wheel when I'm around. Mostly, I relate to the little kids, because I turn into The Doctor around children.



I guess, it just burns me that he does, despite what he went through. She mistreated him longer than she mistreated me.



I don't begrudge people who have close families, but I'm not fond of mine. But they live in close clusters or visit around the holidays so it's hard not to run into them (or at around those times).



Oh, I've done that. The hag is completely cut out of my life, it's just my dad that draws me back into close quarters with her. At least he and my aunt have the decency of arranging sleeping quarters far away from where she sleeps. On the downside, it's in the outskirts of town and doesn't have internet. =I



Damn straight! Not a lot of people seem to get this. Glad you do.



I wish. But as mean as she is, she's actually rather clever. She offers free babysitting to my cousin's older brother. He's a cop, and his wife is a nurse- jobs that are long on hours and short on pay. That means someone needs to watch the hag as much as possible while watching them. From the crap I saw, it's necessary: she would spank with little to no reason, teach them to hit each other... she even houses my (physical) abuser for free after he was thrown out of his trailer post-divorce by his (admittedly awful, but so deserved) ex-wife. She holds lots of cards when it comes to emotional blackmail, financial blackmail (not that she has money herself, she just knows how to take advantage of those that have even less), etc.

TBH, I could learn a lot from her if I wanted to be a super villain.

---

*sigh* So after months of deliberation and several reworks of his idea, the GM has dropped me from his future roleplay (Legend of the Five Rings if anyone is interested).

I respect his right to choose, but I'm still a bit sore about it. The group that went through consists of all my previous group plus a friend of mine who wasn't in it before in my place. I guess there's a few reasons why I feel so bad about it.

1: As far as I remember this roleplay was meant to be for newcomers. 3 out of the 5 people have played before.

2: He's actually running two L5R games at once, two people get to be in both. I figure that when you've got this many applications should should try and fit as many people as possible in as I'm not the only one who has gotten the boot whereas two people get to attend both.

3: The fact it's exactly my previous group swapping me for someone else is probably me being irrational but it feels a shame no less. Like I've somehow did badly in the last RP and it's affected my right here...when in the last RP someone who barely attended (so much so they had to be made an NPC) actually made it into this one.

4: The aforementioned person who barely attended the RP actually wasn't keen on the first two ideas the GM had for for this upcoming campaign. However at the time he had a multitude of players who were ok with the ideas. A friend of mine tells me the GM has a crush on this lass and so the idea with willing players was reworked and reworked into something that would suit her and now she's in and other people who were fine at first are out.

5: Of the people who are in both, one of them is a good friend of mine. I'd expected him to be in the Thursday game however the news of him being in both was quite a shock. It's not that I don't want him to enjoy himself but the way it works out it basically leaves me socially excluded. To clarify: The first night of RP is held at a Gaming Night at a University. Me and my friends would go there to play cards and hang out. As time has went on friends have left the place. I'm not even especially interested in the cards there (Magic the Gathering mostly) but I do like the social venture. Now I knew one of my friends would almost certainly make the RP but so long as this other one was going on Thursday things were fine. As it is now, come 7 o'clock every Tuesday they'll disappear up the back and I'll be left with a card game I don't really care for and a bunch of acquaintances and friends of friends. I guess folks should say "be more social" but I can't really help it, I don't make friends easily and I don't especially want to that much. Tuesdays are my one night out where I actually physically see my friends and now both of them are drawn up in a roleplay. I'm honestly considering whether it's even worth going in future and just doom myself to a year of almost physical isolation from friends.

That's pretty much it really. Ultimately it's the GM's choice who gets into his game based on character ideas and the like and his own plans for the plot. I suppose there's a friend of mine who might be running the new "Firefly" game but ah....I'll just miss my best friends I guess. It's just unfortunate the bad side of me is thinking up all these coincidences and grumbles with why I didn't get in. It's really the last point that really stings as I hadn't expected it. I would've been ok not being in so long as it didn't take ALL my good friends away.

---

Um, just asking, can't you join the roleplay as just a spectator? While they're playing, you're watching and have conversations with them?

C-A

---

The GM in question loathes that. I guess you could say it breaks immersion plus it distracts the players from the story that the gm is telling.

I should know I first met this GM when I went to talk to a friend in his roleplay and he yelled at me for interrupting the game.

---

I remember the story you've told quite well since it made quite an impact on me. It's worth nothing, but you've got my sentiments.

Time for a vent of my own. I should have graduated from college before the last summer vacation, but due some complications it's been postponed for half a year. This means that I need to do my final internship (combined with a thesis) at the start of this school year and then I'm done. Or that would have happened if my school agreed of the assignment the company and me discussed together.

Basically 10 weeks before summer vacation the I discussed an assignment with the company and handed in the proper paperwork at school for approval. Just before the summer vacation (so 9 weeks later) they denied the assignment. They said it wasn't complex enough for a graduation assignment. With specific feedback I returned to the company and we changed the assignment quite a bit so it would involve more research and I would have more options relating to the final product. I hand the paperwork in again, combined with info on the company and some economic analysis frameworks for extra clarification. I talked the thing over with a internship coordinator at school and she told me everything looked good and fine. But the final judgement would be 1 week before vacation ended, at 26 August.

On the 28th of August I get a call from her. The assignment was (again) completely rejected. She told me I have an extra week to fix things or face another 20 weeks of delay in my studies. This is so fucked up. First of all the internship coordinator tells me everything is fine and at the final moment she tells me I'm basically fucked. I immediately contacted the company again where I would do my internship and they were obviously annoyed that the 2nd assignment was shot down, and who can blame them? Still I managed to talk to the manager and I've got another meeting tomorrow. In preparation for that I talked to the internship coordinator (from school) to understand what exactly needs to be done to get the assignment up to par with the expectations. During this talk she decided to shorten the deadline to tomorrow. at 09.00 I have the meeting at the company and at 14.00 I need to return to school to present the new case.

Why does this all bother me so much?
--> stress from not having all the arrangements set when you thought everything was done... 3 times
--> When people say to your face everything is fine but reject all the shit behind your back. Then later tell us we interpreted phrases like 'this looks very good' and 'this will very likely pass the commission' wrong
--> half an extra year of school doing nothing costs €950, which can be practically thrown in a drain
--> My parents don't take failures at school well. This situation is a cause of lots of stress at the home-front.
--> If I don't do this now, this BS will come back in 20 weeks and I'll have to go through the entire process again.

---

Sorry in advance, maybe?

Today I wish I had a soundproof room where I could punch and kick and throw stuff against the walls because if I'd do that now someone's guaranteed to hear it and come and ask what I'm up to. And the keyboard being slow and missing random letters in what I'm writing doesn't excactly improve my mood.

---

Ugh... I am getting so sick of this heat. It's in the mid-80s on my end (~30°C). My frugal dad is almost never willing to turn on the air conditioning, even if it's uncomfortably hot. He has caved twice in the past week. Judging by the forecast, he'll probably cave again a few more times over the course of the next week.

P. S. Yes, I know plenty of people have it worse. No, that does not mean I am forbidden to complain about the heat on my end.

---

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! I accidentally deleted the next video for my Devil Survivor 2 Let's Play! It was the Megrez Battle, and I tried for an hour and more to recover and repair it and nothing worked! URGH! I only deleted some of the videos cause my recording lagged cause my PC is crap. Why do I always have a crappy PC with which it's difficult to play and record games!?

C-A

---

The tram I normally catch to get home is sitting behind some cones, as a worker is welding the tracks... I've been standing waiting for a while now...

---

Stupid ass-cunt thinks I hate on Tifa Lockhart's design cause I "don't look good in a miniskirt"? Fuck you, you self-important dickface, I hate Tifa for a ton of other reasons, her design being a shallow one, and I hate wearing miniskirts cause I have extreme body issues that likely stem from sexual childhood trauma, so fuck you in the kneecap you stupid bitch.

Sorry for the amount of profanity, but I am at the stage of anger where that's the only way I can talk about these assholes.

C-A

PS: Just VENTING, fyi, please do not try to give me advice or anything like that. (Like there is anything to give advice for here)

---

How exactly do you fuck someone in the kneecap? There's not exactly any "hole" there!

---

Oh but there are a lot of ways to do it...you just need have an open mind and get ready to sees some...nasty stuff.But she said to not give her any advice,so...

---

You make a hole.

C-A

PS: Well he's asking a question and not giving advice, so...

---

Hmmm...I'm not typically one to vent, but I find myself bottling up my feelings for lack of being able to communicate effectively with those around me. This is just a vent, so, you know, I'm not really looking for advice. I'm just looking to unload a little.

I feel...inadequate. And isolated. A while ago, some dude showed up at my college and talked all about how he had to work his way through college...just like everyone else in the room. I couldn't help but feel a slight amount of shame as he proceeded to talk about it...and repeat it over and over. I do not work. All my classes are online. I can barely get out of bed. This is because I have fibromyalgia. I find I cannot do many of the things those around me can. And then the guy stuck around after speaking, and so did a few other students including me (I was sticking around to talk to one of my professors). And so everyone went around in a circle, talking about the jobs they worked. And the jerk who spoke before me talked about how she works three jobs, and she loves working. That's great for her, whatever. But then all eyes were on me, and I had to say, "Yeah, ummm...I don't have a job...medical issues." The trouble is, with fibromyalgia, I look completely normal. It's not like I wear a sign on my head to signify that I am in pain all the time. So, those who didn't know about my fibromyalgia just gave me weird looks. One girl said, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with that!" in an attempt to make me feel better, but, you know, it's easy to feel that there is something wrong with it when this guy prattled on and on about how he admires all of us for working our way through school. v_v. It's embarrassing to not work, and it's embarrassing to always have to carry around a cushion to sit on! And it's embarrassing to have to explain why I cannot do as much as everyone around me. Why can't I volunteer? Why can't I work? Why can't I take classes on campus? The list goes on and on for things I can't do. I try to focus on what I can do instead. I am a full-time student. I'm good at being a student. I get good grades. But it's not enough. Grad schools and employers don't want someone who just "got good grades." They want people with job and research experience, of which I have neither and likely won't have either under my belt for a loooong time. People say you can do anything you set your mind to, but I can set myself back for days or even weeks, trying to do things I set my mind to. I try to be "normal", but...I'm not. I should be happy and healthy and experiencing college life. And, that's really not the case. Remission for fibromyalgia is possible, and I've been working toward it for years, but it will be a long time before I achieve it. Why does the process have to be so slow?!

It is easy to think, "No one else has to go through this! Why me?!" This line of thinking is flawed and inaccurate for me and my current situation, but sometimes, one cannot help thinking such things. Also, I have had...trouble concentrating lately, and it's affected my course work. No one in my household knows this because I'm too ashamed to admit it (and also because I know video games will be blamed). Anyway, I feel a little better now that I have vented. Thanks for reading~ The rant wasn't supposed to be this long, but I guess I got a little carried away. Heh...

---

That sounds horrible Lida though you shouldn't blame yourself or consider yourself abormal.

Everyone has their own standards of normal living and frankly it's great how much you've managed to achieve so far in spite of your impairment.

Just sounds like an unfortunate situation there but I'm sure they'd understand if they knew what you were going through.

Don't let it get to ya Lida you know you are a good student and you don't need to prove anything to them.

---

Well, yes they do, although I can "calm you down" or "cheer you up" with the news that I just yesterday found a job offer that flat out stated, if they had applicants with the same level of experience or abilities wanted for the job, the handicapped would be given privileged treatment and be more likely to get the job.

According to my mom, this is because of a certain quota they have to fulfill... which, honestly, seemed a bit dumb to me, but since there is also such a thing for having a quota of "non-white" people in a job, and I am neither (at least, I'm not physically handicapped) so I probably just don't see the necessity...

C-A

---

Is a bit, "Equal Opportunities" sections of an application form basically serve to ensure that the widest bracket of people are less likely to be hired. I think it's quite cruel actually, if we are going to judge someone based on ability and skill surely whether they are white, black, male or female, muslim, christian, atheist or anything else shouldn't matter? The way I hear it works is companies are required (or maybe it's not a requirement but a social construct) to hire people from all walks of life so as to not appear offensive to any one particular group by not including them in the company.

So for me, the white male individual I just feel like as I tick these boxes I'm giving them reasons not to hire me. Of course there's some horrible people who will attempt to manipulate the system. My Girlfriend's brother put down on his police application that he was homosexual (he wasn't) because he believed it would give him a greater chance of getting hired.

---

The system is in place because there are still businesses out there that will, given the chance, refuse to hire someone based on something irrelevant to his/her suitability for the job--such as religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, or ethnicity.

---

Basically this. "Oh no, someone got this job instead of me and we're equally qualified~" is sort of bunk. This isn't a matter of "someone who clearly didn't deserve the job got it", or pity. It has a lot to do with history. Hell, let's even look at recent history. When an important part of the Civil Rights Act of 1964(5?) was revoked by the Supreme Court a few months back, you know how long it took for states to start impeding the ability of PoC to vote?

Two hours.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone's a dirty racist who wants to inhibit all but straight, white, middle-class-and-higher, cis, Chrsitian, males... but we are far from a post-racial, or a post-sexism, or post-anything society.

This is the reason there isn't a straight pride parade, or a white entertainment channel, or something similar to what we already have. Because everyday culture already consistently, constantly, and openly celebrates the privileged louder than anything else. So be glad you don't need legislation to protect you, or you need a parade to remind your own culture that it's okay to be you, or need a channel where you can finally see people like you in starring roles.

There's going to be another job. There's always one waiting for you, and your interview won't have the added responsibility of respectability politics.

---

You know, it's not that I find it weird that they are going to give privilege to handicapped people if it's a choice between the handicapped person and a "non-handicapped" one that have the exact same amount of experience. It's more the fact that they flat out tell me that that threw me... "Hey, you have great abilities for this job... Now if only you were somehow physically handicapped, you'd have a higher chance of getting hired..." That's what it sounds like. It's like, wow, you know, being healthy and lucky enough to not be handicapped is great, BUT having it would likely land you this job quicker.

C-A

---

That's just their personal prejudices getting in the way of being professional. If I found out my HR reps were saying crap like that, they'd be finding themselves written up so fast, it'd make your head spin. That, and it just incites people to hate on an already disadvantaged group and speaks to that person's personal ignorance... sorry you had to put up with it, Cat.

---

Oh I think I didn't even apply... I forget if I did. The offer itself had it plainly written out and it surprised me. I mean, you generally don't TELL someone you hired them partly to fulfill a quota that has to deal with something they have no actual control over.

C-A

---

@ Pierre: Thanks, bud! I am fortunate in many ways, among them my ability to even go to school. I had a year where I had to medically withdraw, and, well, at least I'm better than I was then. Heck, I work pretty hard, going to physical therapy and walking two miles a day and whatnot. Probably doesn't sound like much, but it's still better than what I could do before...I should just be grateful I don't have to eat all pureed foods anymore (long story. 'Twas horrid). But, you know, I've been sick for over 5 years now, three of which I've had fibromyalgia and two of which I had other medical issues. I'm high functioning for someone with my condition, but I feel like I'm not living. All I'm doing is working to get to a point where I can lead a good life, or, at the very least, a "normal" one. The trouble is, I've officially spent more than one-fifth of my life with medical issues. I just think I should already be living my life...living on my own, getting a job, going to school on-campus...even just being able to drive would be nice.

Oh, and it's possible no one really thinks less of me for not working. And even if they do, I shouldn't care, really. Those who are important enough to know my condition know it and respect me for even taking classes. It just bugs me that that man made it seem like the most admirable thing a person could do was work while going to college. And if I'm not working, what does that make me? And there are plenty of others who don't or can't work (my older brother among them. He doesn't work because he's taking care of me). What does that make them? I'm not bothered by what he said so much as the implications behind it.

@ C-A: Uh...That information does not cheer me up much. Thanks for the attempt, but the chances of me being picked for a job because I was "equally qualified" with someone else who just happened to be happy and healthy are slim at best. Besides, I wouldn't want to receive a job just because some company needed to fill some quota. I'm also bothered that they had this quota plainly written out. I mean, geez. It would be hard for me to believe I got the job on my own merits, had I applied for a job in a place like that...Also troublesome, I think, is why such quotas still need to exist.

EDIT: Hey, since I'm supposed to be venting here: I'm tired of the doctors around here, too! I mean, sure, I have a competent doctor, now that I don't have to go to the doctor's office all the time! But, geez. Many are incompetent. A few are jerks. Both comments particularly apply to the gastroenterology department around here.

---

I need a big, soft pillow to strike right about now. I know my own problems aren't much compared to what some of the people reading this are going through, but my stress level is nearing the breaking point. Oddly enough, I think the primary cause is boredom. Even though there are two brand new games in my possession, I don't always feel up to playing either. On top of that, the heat came back, so I had to cancel my walk today, depriving me of a chance to clear my head. On its own, though, the boredom wouldn't be enough to make me feel the way I do. I've also had the misfortune of coming across some really despicable rhetoric from people I disagree with on some other sites I frequent--it's no different from the drivel they usually spew out, but I've felt unable to do anything. Add to that the couple of bans that were handed out earlier this week and the unpleasantness in the Dangan-Ronpa thread and Court Records has actually served to make things worse for me for a change. And now, to top it all off, I'm worried about a friend of mine (that is to say, I consider him a friend, although I don't know if he would call me the same) who's going through some difficult times of his own. I'm probably going to have difficulty sleeping tonight.

---