Odin's death?

So compared to the 2013 game, I think the game has a better story since Lara has a better arc, minus the narrative dissonance with the killing. However, the movie does a better job at setting up the overall plot for future instalments than both Tomb Raider 2013 and Rise of the Tomb Raider. There is an open-ended ending in the movie with Lara accepting to continue her father's fight against Trinity. Rise of the Tomb Raider introduces Trinity as a major antagonist for the following game quite sloppily, almost retconning it into 2013's story. I say "almost" because if you collect all GPS caches in the 2013 game you get a hint that an agent of Trinity came to Yamatai. But it's revealed in Rise of the Tomb Raider that they had knowledge of the events of the 2013 game, with no means of how they did it.
Edit: I think Lou Ren deserved more screen time in the movie. He was set up to be the male lead but got pushed aside once Lara found her father. He does make essential contributions in the second act as well as save Lara at the end, however.

So, overall thoughts on it? …Don't kill me for saying this, but it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong though, it was still bad to the point where I kept all the curtains closed and the door locked (no one must know), but I don't have as bad an opinion on it that others do. It's a pretty easy target anyhow, but it was…eh.

The story is almost the same thing as Foodfight. That's already a brilliant start to the whole thing. All these objects you thought were inanimate are actually real and live in their own world, but when something bad happens to them the dumb protagonist and his even more moronic sidekicks have to save their world from being ruined while this terrible female villain tries to stop them. In the end, everything goes back to normal, the protag gets their girl and their dumb message is forced in. I'm pretty sure they both end on a dance number too. Horrifying shit.

The best part of the story was just how technologically inaccurate it was. Some things you could handwave by saying 'oh it's just a movie so it's creative license' but some stuff makes no sense, like making internet trolls just beings inside the phone?! The end is an absolute copout too. The dumb kid Alex or Arthur or whatever goes to get his phone deleted because it starts malfunctioning all the time but when Gene EXPRESSES HIMSELF (BECAUSE THAT'S THE THEME OF THE MOVIE, GET IT?!) and now is malfunctioning in a way that benefits Austin, he just goes "oh okay I guess this is good now" and unplugs the phone, WHICH ALSO BRINGS BACK ALL THE DELETED DATA?! Which allows those idiots to live I guess. Except Smiler, I dunno what happens to her after she gets crushed by her dumbbot.

The characters were hilariously entertaining in how they were all assholes. They make all these jokes which actually bring negative messages. Like when Gene and Hi-5 leave on their great adventure and the red wagon comes and asks if it can go, Hi-5 just says "TALK TO THE HAND LOL" (which is just another way of putting his middle finger forward) and they abandon him. And then there's this joke about how Jailbreak, now revealed to be a princess, can't just whistle and have birds come to her because that's a stereotype but afterwards, it turns out that she can do that! Hi-5 even comments on it. Great job, movie! Now I know to always believe stereotypes, good message.

The "romance" between the lead characters, if you can even call it that, was utter garbage. Watching the movie for the first time I could tell just when the writers decided 'Yep, this is the part where the fall in love now'. And when Jailbreak says that she doesn't want to just be in a romance and wants to pursue her own thing, Gene goes "waaaah, she doesn't wanna be with me" and 'meh's out. How sour of him, as well as a good message. Remember, kids, if you ask someone out and they say they aren't interested, you should definitely be angry with them because it's their fault that they don't love your perfect self!

The animation was subpar. Not much to say, it did its job without being bad or in the way. I guess you could say it was…meh.

Jokes were hit and miss, which surprised me because there were actually hits at all. I don't actually remember what they were, given, but I remember liking them so they probably existed as well. Biggest surprise for me was they only had four poop jokes (not including the butt jokes, there were about two or three of those). Incredible restraint on their part to only stop there.

Er, that's mostly all that comes to mind. Terrible movie, but somehow fun to watch (and riff on). Even the popcorn didn't taste that great.

Erm, right, ranking. Well, since they only made four poop jokes…then my ranking is 4 poop emojis!



Out of what depends. If you're enjoying yourself riffing the thing, it's probably out of ten. Otherwise, in terms of genuine enjoyment, it's probably out of hundred. That's my dumb review that no one asked for, I guess.

So Captain America stops Iron Man from killing Bucky even though he killed his parents? What the eff? That's twisted!

Iron Man
"Yeah. I can fly."
A decent movie to start off the list. ...I don't have much else to say about this one, it did it's job well in introducing the character and taking it seriously (or at least as much as it needed to).
/10

Incredible Hulk
"You wouldn't like it when I'm hungry. Wait, that doesn't sound right."
I actually really like this one, at least the first two-thirds of it. Banner's plight of trying to control the Hulk while not harming anymore innocent bystanders, along with an antagonist with enhanced agility to match the Hulk's Strong but Unskilled physique? Sign me up.
Unfortunately, the last third doesn't hold up when it's just big monster vs big monster.
/10

Iron Man 2
I forgot to include this one while making this list. That's how forgettable it is. Uhhh... oh, I know! The last scene where Tony gets denied from the Avengers made my little brother immediately think of the council scene from Revenge of the Sith. ...Yeah, I got nothing else.
/10

Thor
"I need a horse!"
Cocky dude gets knocked down a peg, has to reevaluate his life and fight a traitor. Basically Iron Man 1 IN ASGARD. Visuals are nice, and it introduces Loki's Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, but other than that, eh.
/10

Captain America: The First Avenger
"I could do this all day."
Younger me's favorite Avenger: the guy who wanted to do the right thing from the start. It's a good film, but the montage sequence kinda doesn't match the supposed strong bond that Cap's unit built.
/10

The Avengers
"I'm always angry."
This movie was great at its time, being that it was the first to bring all these characters together and see them fight against some huge threat, and that part is still awesome. The rest of the movie is... it's not terrible, it just left me thinking "can we get to New York, yet?"
/10

Iron Man 3
Cool.

Thor: the Dark World
Woo, a dark lord. How exciting.
/10

Captain America: Winter Soldier
"Who the hell is Bucky?"
It had good action, it kept the suspense up, and the Winter Soldier was an admittedly cool villain (even if he's mostly staring intensely at object behind the camera).
/10

Guardians of the Galaxy
"What did the galaxy ever do for you? Why would you want to save it?"
"Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!"
This one's a riot from start to finish. Unfortunately, I can't get the Pina Collada song out of my head.
/10

Avengers 2: Age of Ultron
"I'm the ******* lizard king."
No wait, that's James Spader's character in The Office. It's impossible to take Ultron seriously when Spader's delivery just made him sound too casual.
Also, goddammit, Tony. You don't just build an AI out of a mysterious alien stone and not expect it to want to kill everyone.
/10

Ant-Man
"I need you to break into a place and steal some shit."
I heard Edgar Wright directed this. Apparently he did work on this, but then he didn't. Shame, I'd have loved to see a take on the Marvel franchise from the guy who directed the Scott Pilgrim adaptation.
Still, the heist movie setup gave a unique flair to the film. ...That's all I really have to say about that one.
/10

Captain America: Civil War
"I retired for five minutes and it all goes to shit."
I get everyone being angry at how the Avengers handled Sokovia, but New York and Hydra weren't even their fault. A lot more people would have died had they not intervened. And let's not forget the time someone tried to nuke New York.
Sill, it's a better Avengers movie than AoU. However, it can't exist without AoU.
/10

Doctor Strange
The effects are decent.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
"I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"
It had higher highs than the first one, but it also had lower lows. Rocket may have petty, but he wasn't dumb enough to steal an item he was paid to protect.
/10

Spiderman: Homecoming
"The only way to really be cool... is to follow the rules."
The Staten Island Ferry hasn't allowed civilians to take cars onto the ferry for a while. 0/10
It's a decent movie. Tom Holland's acting certainly helps. Just don't call Michelle "MJ" in future movies.
:edgy: /10

Thor: Ragnarok
"YES! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS!"
Even better on a second viewing. The humor still holds up, and knowing that it isn't really about Ragnarok until it actually is helps the pacing of the movie.
/ 10

Black Panther
"Delete that footage!"
Good. Solid. Erik was a well fleshed out villain, although in hindsight, he and Vulture are rather similar.
/ 10

+Great action. Very thrilling and energetic. While not the best, it's still fun to watch.

+Impressive CG. Typical good Marvel magic.

+Thanos is a decent villain. He's understandable enough that even when he wins you don't get angry about him (emphasis on about him). He still has some issues though, but I'll talk about them eventually.

+The scale feels big and epic. You really do feel like this is a multi-layered, galaxial war, and the movie does this so well.

+It kicks off into high gear right away. The issue some people had with Avengers 1 and Age of Ultron was that it started slow, specifically one. This starts off with a fight in a destroyed spaceship, so we're dealing with good shit already.

+Humor is spot on. Had a joke that actually made me laugh out loud for a while.

+It assembles everyone well enough. Again, I have issues, I'll discuss them later.

+Has some good emotional scenes, except for one scene, which, again, I'll go into later.

+Peter Dinklage and Samuel L. Jackson cameo is nice, I guess. Not much else to say about them.

-The characters are all over the place. Some characters are their usual selves, others get a bit of a facelift, others are just there, others are just dumbed down and worst case scenario they're just so out-of-character I hate it. Specifically: Peter Quill. Compared to GotG 2 (haven't seen GotG1), he feels too much like an asshole, and does pretty stupid decisions.

-Thanos, despite being well built, isn't built well enough to be as great as the movie expects me to be. I like him, but his character and motivation is lacking sometimes. Something additional would've been nice, ngl.

-No joke when I say every scene plays almost exactly like this:
>Thanos tries to get a stone or goal
>Heroes try to stop him
>Emotions
>Heroes fuck up/are too late
>Thanos succeeds
This makes every scene just feel the same and that hurts the movie, especially in that ending.
Speaking of...

-The movie's ending makes me angry. It tries to make a tear shed, but it does so for the wrong reasons. The fact that Thanos always won was from mostly the incompetence of people, making this feel so forced. It also doesn't help the fact that, no matter how many people die, Marvel does not care; a bunch of upcoming movies of characters who died basically confirm that through some bullshit they'll all come back. No, you do not pretend like nothing just happened, because people we know and love died there. Yes, that's a common comic book trope, but the movie tries to play it like it's a huge deal and that they won't return. In fact, only 2 deaths felt genuine to me, but those didn't even happen in the ending. And the way it just cliffhangs angers me even more. Protip: if you're gonna kill off someone or a lot of people, actually kill them off, at least for a long while.

TL;DR ending tries to make you cry out of sadness, but it ends up making you cry out of anger

Plus I was expecting Qi'ra to die at the end so I have no idea what they're actually planning to go with her.

kid's house,

Also lol rip everyone 10/10 anticlimax. Guess Scott's stuck there till next Avengers.